I've never seen this side of *Kelsey*... I already _loved_ Kelsey. but I now _love_ her even *more* and have so much *respect* for her. I wish so much that I could give her a _hug_...
Graphic Design Guy Yeah, I didn't know her bipolar disorder drove her to such extents. Amazing how the happiest people are or were slowly dying on the inside.
OP Ocelots I'm just in love with how many sides that she clearly has to her. Someone that I can just relate to on so many levels... and I don't even know her personally...
See, Buzzfeed?... This is a good video. When the message is so important, sad, powerful, there's no need to drown it in exaggerated acting or melodrama. The message here stroke me so hard, cause Kelsey kept such a level, monotone voice. A level examination of her own life. Her tone and the way she talks about the pills make it work so much.
I've always questioned if God was real because of my extreme bad luck. It does make sad that all of this bad luck happens to me but I still always wonder if Gods real
+Chrystall WentzUrieAllen Have you ever noticed that children are always happy? its because the don't dwell in the past or worry about the future, easier said than done though growing up. But we should try to live in the moment.
I come back to this video every time my meds get changed. I'm struggling with the side effects of the new pills now and honestly I feel like crap but I hope the chemicals of my body adjust to them in a couple of weeks. Be strong everyone. We'll get through this!
I love Kelsey, she's funny, loving, and loves to talk about the more important facts a ton. She's amazing and I love her story with her mental health. It inspired me with my mental health to, I love how she explained why and what she says that matters.
17 years old with m.e, cfs, fibro, bipolar, adhd, ptsd, severe depression and severe anxiety. including panic attacks. I always go back to this video to remind myself that I'm trying to get my self better and all the medication I'm taking is for a reason.
Hey. Thanks for this video. This really touched home. I dealt with suicidal thoughts and depression for a few years and was always afraid of the stigma of telling people I was depressed. I barely took anti-depressants because I was afraid of admitting that I needed help from a substance than to rely on myself to get better. When I finally agreed to take anti-depressants I kept crying in front of the pharmacist who kept giving me this look of judgement. Nobody told me, not my psychiatrist nor the pharmacist, that my depression would get worse before it gets better on the medication. I began taking anti-depressants on a class trip in Shanghai and I wanted to throw myself out the window and kept breaking down in my hotel room. I never felt so lonely, probably because I was half way around the world. I stopped taking anti-depressants because I got scared of the come down but a year later the chemistry in my head got better. I haven't been depressed since but I know it could come back. Thank you for telling your story. Your journey inspires me and I will use it for strength should my depression return.
Thank you for this. The hardest part is when you have years of feeling great...then life happens and you crash, hard. I've learned that self care/maintenance is so important and life long. Wishing any one struggling now peace and joy!
This is by biggest fear.. I feel great now, after a long batlle with anxiety and ocd, and Im so scared of "life happening" and putting me right back in square one or worse (my "bad" is pretty bad so I dont even wanna imagine "worse"
Luiza Gallas I understand completely. Maintenance - self-care, meds, whatever works for you - with mental health is key. The danger, in my case at least, was pretending that I didn't have an issue, neglecting myself and letting stress overwhelm me. Learn from my mistake if you can. Good luck!
"The threat of unpredictability is the scariest part when something depressing happens to someone with depression" This quote has stuck with me 6 years later. JFC Kelsey, you are amazing!
this video hit way close to home. good for you, disembodied voice, for never giving up and giving strength to others to also persevere. you are amazing.
My older sister is on a similar journey. Lately, she's been losing hope. She said at least once a week to my family "your lives would be so much easier without me" Then she saw this video. She has hope again. She started fighting again. Thank you
Current meds: Prozac, Klonapin, Busbar, & Nortriptyline. Recently weened off Welbutrin for making my memory so bad, most of the beginning of this year is a total blur. I was cleaning my kitchen, totally fine, until I clicked this video, & now I sit sobbing on the floor, not because I feel alone, but because I wish I was alone, bc I would never wish the mental health issues I have on anyone. "how much does it cost to be happy?" That hit home hard. Thank you for you & your courage to be strong.
I'm on over 500 mg of medications to balance my mental state at 16. This is possibly the best video I have ever seen on buzzfeed, I connect to it so much. Especially with the lamictal that is exactly what happened to me, and the feeling I got. This video was like having somebody else tell my experience aloud.
When people hear about my mental disorders, they don't believe me. "You can't possibly have anxiety disorder, Pure O, Borderline and Depression." And when I list of all the medication I've been on while only being 20 years old they think I do it for fun. I'm on three different medications right now, I've already tried eight others. I suffered through withdrawels from Ativan and if that's peoples definition of fun then they are the fucked up ones. People often think that medication will "change who you are" and yeah they do, for me they changed me to someone who can be happy instead of constantly thinking about suicide. Thank you for sharing your story with us Kelsey ♥
Finn Nathan well i mean...unless it’s your family or trusted friends you shouldn’t be telling this to anyone otherwise you sound whiny trust me i know how it feels to be called that
As the independent and very stubborn person that I am, I spent eight or so years of my life suffering in silence because I kept telling myself I could handle it on my own. Truth is, I never could and I just liked the idea of being able to. So eight years went by and one day, I just had enough of the silent suffering and being alone. I started going on Zoloft for my anxiety back in July and it's got to be one of the best decisions I ever made. Sometimes you have to take a step back from your ego and pride, and take a step forward to ask for help and start your recovery.
Just started meds a few days ago for OCD and depression. After 22 years of managing it somehow I decided enough was enough. We will all get through these struggles
Oh my God Kelsey. Thank you I needed this. I haven't got the guts to go to a doctor. I didn't know you have such a journey I always admired you because of your personality well after this video, I salute you Kelsey!
I watched this video three years ago when I started my pill journey and now after all this time and a big mental break I've found myself back here. I'm still working on me, what seemed to be working for months just seemed to stop and now I'm back on the game of which pill will work? Please don't give up hope if any of you are scared. There's so much info and people who want to help us out there. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
I'm 27 and have experienced suicidal thoughts and self harm since I was about 13. I was depressed for years (it's only occurred to me recently that all of the alcohol and drugs I was using were a way to self-medicate) but only sought help when I was 22. Since then I've been on 6 different anti-depressants and recently started an anti-psychotic in hopes it'll reduce my anxiety. I work in a high-stress job and like to think that I've been successful (managing a business, post-grad qualifications in the healthcare field) but my brain refuses to cooperate. I've lost a friend to suicide and had 2 other friends/family members attempt to take their lives. I've gone from being on top of the world and travelling to some awesome places, to only thinking about how I'd end my life. This can happen to anyone. We need to talk about mental health so nobody slips through the cracks and can become the best version of themselves.
I've recently started anti depressants and although they have been helping my mental state I have noticed my body having a negative reaction with many side effects. I'm curious about the medicine you've tried. Has anything helped to even take the edge off and if so did you ever have negative physical side effects whilst having a positive mental day? I am just trying to weigh the "what's better for me?" options battling my mind everyday is hard but now I have combat my body misbehaving too. I fully understand if you don't want to talk about it I am just trying to better understand what these tiny pills are doing to me.
Yeah Nah thank you for sharing your story. dont give up xxxxxxx there is surely a way. out of the millions possible, there will be one for you. keep fighting and it’ll find its way to you eventually xxx
I relate to this so much, I couldn't even begin to tell you how many times I've watched this video since it came out. Thank you BuzzFeed, I needed this.
When this video came out, I didn’t know I had undiagnosed major depression. Today, it’s been a year of trying all sorts of medications but I finally have a handle on it. Thank you Kelsey for sharing your journey.
I almost cried when I saw this because about September of 2017 , I've gone through really bad anxiety. I was continuely having lot of panic , and a lots of anxiety attacks and I first went to a hospital where I stayed for 10 days, there they gave me the contact whit a therapist that wouldn't work whit me , meanwhile I was also going to a psychologist and she was helping me a lot . After I quitted my therapist to see another one, (that I went to see for the last time October 2018 ) my mental health started to get better. Now I'm really improved and I was only 11 years old when I went throught all of this , so PLEASE don't say that teens haven't got throught a lot, because It's not always true. So...It took me a long time to figure all of this out, but It's just in your head , you can either decide to let it win or let it take control over you . Trust me , I did it, others people did it , YOU CAN do it ❤️
This is so inspirational. Made me tear up. If you read this, I don't care how cliché it sounds, it's something that I really needed to realize just now that I want to tell everyone who needs to hear it: you never are alone.
"There are no rights and wrongs when it comes to feeling and mood. They just exist. We just feel. It's the choices we make on how to constructively deal with those feelings that define us." I wish I'd learned this years ago, I only started figuring it out in the past year or so. Thank you for making this.
+Hot Dog dud you must have so much free time to just spread love like this , im just saying that if someone with a busy day programme sort the things that he will do during the day by priority u probebly will find "spreading love" in the 20th page with 30 elemnts in each , and thanks have a good day as well .
As an artist and musician, I can say that taking medicines for my schizophrenia and depression has completely dulled my creativity. Although the pills help the illness at hand, I suffer in other ways.
This is incredible and we need more of it, because too many people think that after being one prescription all of their mental problems will be magically cured--they give up when it doesn't work. However, the pill journey never ends because our bodies are ever-changing. Wonderful message!
This made me cry. I had the same the journey. It is terrible and depressing. This is half the reason I'm in school to become a psychologist. No one should have to suffer like that. I understand there are worse things in the world, but who do have to run to when have no one, not even yourself, because you are worst enemy.
I suffer from BPD, and depression. I have been diagnosed with BPD but I never told anyone about my depression. Faking that I was fine everyday made me sick, mentally and physically. No one ever paid attention to my BPD , I always thought that no one , not ever my therapist , thought the BPD was that serious. Then it came. I got anxiety . I got panic attacks frequently , but never told any body . Next month I will be trying to find help for my depression .
I’m on lemectal too... it didn’t work for me and i went to the ER and tried to commit sucide 3 times. I’m still trying to make my medications okay. Your gonna be okay it will be okay 💛 this is an update from 4 weeks from this comment: I’ve gotten off of lemectal and i’m so much happier and i never thought i would be this happy ever. i’m on a cocktail of medication but i’m okay with it. i have the diagnosis now. Generalized Anxiety, Severe Major Depessive, and AdHD, and rapid cycling (like bipolar but less severe). now that i have these i can get better treatment. for the people who are still struggling to find everything, it will be okay, it will get better, i know it might not feel like it because i’ve been told this and i didn’t believe it and here i am. it got better. you will be okay 💛
I wish I knew who this girl was or who this story was about so I could just thank her for being so honest and open. For the first time in my life, I felt like for once someone understood my journey and my heart is full. Thank you for this video, I wish I found it sooner ❤️
Today I watched this video. I have been strungling with depression since I was ten and have developed panic and anxiety attacks as well. I just from no were started thinking about how I could fix it or something, and how I was going to tell me parents. I started looking at PDST and Bipolar and ADHD and so many different stuff and it was so over whelming just thinking that for once, something was really wrong with the way I was feeling. So I got a panic attack in the middle of class. And my way to calm down is to cry. I was suprised at how many helped me and now I know what I need to do. I NEED to tell my parents so they can help me to start going to therapy and then trying to figure out what my mental illness is. Cause I don'tknow what it is. So thank you Buzzfeed. You really light up my days sometimes.
this video describes it perfectly. i have been on medication my entire like for ADHD and then depression set in and then came another pill. i can't explain to anyone how i feel my therapists thinks im fine, like im on meds so i must be fine right? no one can tell you if you are and something you can't even know yourself. this video put it into words that i wish i could. thanks, y'all helped me so much in life.
Mental illness is exhausting, draining, debilitating and isolating. The cons crush the pros. The only silver lining I see in my experience is being absolutely clear that my life will be in my control. There are so many of us struggling out there. They don't yet know how they will be able to treat all of us, so a lot of us are left to our own devises to sort out our mental illnesses. But we are. We are finding small techniques that make our lives a little bit better. We are swapping ideas and supporting each other. I hope that the next generation gets the adequate professional help to combat their mental illness but I'm proud of those now who are surviving this without professional help.
I ran out of room on my last comment so I'm posting another. Suboxone is seriously horrible and withdrawing off of it was harder than some of the horrible hard drugs I was hooked on years ago. My doctor originally was going to have me on it for a month at max. Well after a month, he tells me he wants to double my dose and keep me on it a year. If I had done that, getting off of it would have been nearly impossible. It took a few weeks to fully ween off of it and during that time I was in so much pain. It was the week before and of Christmas that I was detoxing. To make it less painful and less miserable, my doctor had me on 5 different meds. These were the same meds I was given when I was in several treatment centers. Suboxone and a lot of prescription meds, especially benzos like xanax, are just as addicting as most hard street drugs. I have over 2 years clean and I am so thankful. I still suffer from several mental illnesses, but I'm doing better. 😄 I have to take it day by day tho
+Jenny Thorson My friend had a doctor put him on xanax for his severe anxiety. when he retired and they got a new dr they didn't refill the prescription when they refilled the rest. They were on 2mg and had such bad panic attacks they were taking it at least twice a day. They damn near died from withdrawal symptoms and went through utter hell because when he called after 1pm on a friday, when he caught the mistake while picking up his other meds, they didn't return the call until monday. he made the mistake of thinking they would call back before they closed at 5 and fix the mistake, but they didn't.
I nearly died from kicking a Xanax addicting cold turkey. I was in excruciating physical pain for two months, and extreme mental anguish for about a year. At least with suboxone you can ween yourself more easily. And it is not deadly. I only thought suboxone was for opiates though. Didn't know it could treat Xanax.
I have Bipolar disorder. it's the worst feeling in the world to be happy, then sad. then realize your overreacting, then overreact because you're overreacting. I'm 14, but I'm making it. it's hard. but I know I can make it through. if you're going through this things please be good to yourself and realize its not your fault, and surround yourself with a support system that understands you (: Much love from the U.S.
cheyenne rowlands you are way too young to be experiencing a bad life. Life gets way harder after school is over so make the best of what you have. Make and meet new friends. Love your family. Create goals that you want to achieve and achieve them. Find a new hobby like working out or something you find interesting. But don't ever rely on drugs. They will ruin your life and make life not worth living. I am a former drug addict that started with prescription pills and ended with iv heroin. It ruined 10 years of my life. But I am clean without anything and I ever felt better.
This made me cry... I have gone to the lowest of lows with mental illness. Finally getting better and thinking wow that sucked I'm better now though and then all of a sudden it comes crashing down and your thoughts don't add up. You feel like you're losing your mind and it's not that you no longer want to live but your brain won't let you and you've tried so hard but you get beaten down in ways that confuse you and provoke the question, "why me?" And then you sit down with yourself, after pretty much isolating yourself for days and unknowingly self sabotaging the things that mean something to you because you don't want to ruin them since you've convinced yourself you're responsible for ruining yourself, and you tell yourself to try. THINK happy, meditate, DO something you love and you ask yourself is it that easy? And it's not. It is hard to maintain your mental health when your body's chemistry has put it on the back burner. But, when you do sit and tell yourself, it's just a thought, WHAT I'm scared of hasn't happened and may not even come true, The things I love are still here and if one day they aren't, thats fine too: you find yourself a little more able to breathe and every day after that. It gets easier.
My moms been suffering depression her whole life. She recently had a stroke from a wrong mix of medication and is out of work because of high blood pressure (which is typically around 190/120 which is a stroke waiting to happen) she's been contemplating suicide for years but now it seems like the end of the line I feel this video will help give her hope.
aww I'm sorry to hear that, I will pray for her. tell her suicide is never the option have faith because all of the hurt and suffering is only temporary! things will get better very soon in Jesus name!!!!!
My mom was suicidal for awhile, she even tried to commit suicide with medication. 3 years later, she's much happier! I hope your mom is okay, and let the odds be in your favor!
Idk how many times I've watched this but it hits me every time I do. It's so true though it is a CHOICE on how we deal with our situations that makes a difference.
![I.N "HALLUCINATION" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/n5B5q1Hwt_U/mqdefault.jpg)
I've never seen this side of *Kelsey*... I already _loved_ Kelsey. but I now _love_ her even *more* and have so much *respect* for her. I wish so much that I could give her a _hug_...
same, she really pushes the drunk girl with no care vibe but this just made me see a side of Kelsey that I didn't even know existed :(
OP Ocelots I know she was bipolar and on medication, but I never expected this amazing story by her...
Graphic Design Guy Yeah, I didn't know her bipolar disorder drove her to such extents. Amazing how the happiest people are or were slowly dying on the inside.
OP Ocelots I'm just in love with how many sides that she clearly has to her. Someone that I can just relate to on so many levels... and I don't even know her personally...
Same! I really really love her and now I feel like she is such an inspiration to me❤️
“What is the price of happiness?” That really hit me...
in my experience, too expensive
See, Buzzfeed?... This is a good video. When the message is so important, sad, powerful, there's no need to drown it in exaggerated acting or melodrama. The message here stroke me so hard, cause Kelsey kept such a level, monotone voice. A level examination of her own life. Her tone and the way she talks about the pills make it work so much.
agreed
Yes exsactly I am going threw the same thing
Exactly
"Jesus, what is the price of happiness" GOD that hit me hard for whatever reason
i felt the same way
Now I see a comment that's making me think, now I'm crying.
Same
I've always questioned if God was real because of my extreme bad luck. It does make sad that all of this bad luck happens to me but I still always wonder if Gods real
+Chrystall WentzUrieAllen Have you ever noticed that children are always happy? its because the don't dwell in the past or worry about the future, easier said than done though growing up. But we should try to live in the moment.
'I thought getting a diagnosis would come with a fix but I didn't feel fixed' brooo I felt thatt
"Jesus this is getting expensive, what is the price for happiness?!"
That hit me in a way I can't describe
I know :/. This made me think of Leona Lewis's Happy.
Kelsey is just so amazing and beautiful and strong.
Can't tell if sarcastic.
Who is Kelsey
+John Mars she was narrating in this video
which one is she?
surafeld her name is FEDORA FUCKER 69
Every time I watch this and hear "what is the price of happiness?!" I burst into tears
' the scariest thing is when something depressing happens to a person with depression ' hit me harder then it was suppose to .
"the threat of unpredictability is the scariest part when something depressing happens to someone with depression" yup.
You know you watch buzz feed to much when you know it's Kelsey speaking!
Who is Kelsey. Any video I can see her?
+Ana Matilde search up 'I'm bipolar, but I'm not..." She's the girl with blonde hair and white t shirt.
Bronte King Thank you
My favorite buzzfeed video of all time
Me too
same
Same
Same
Same
still my favorite video on the Internet about mental health
it’s 2020 and i still come back to this video.
I hope you do better soon, don't give up ❤
I come back to this video every time my meds get changed. I'm struggling with the side effects of the new pills now and honestly I feel like crap but I hope the chemicals of my body adjust to them in a couple of weeks. Be strong everyone. We'll get through this!
Anna Cifer same!!! I’ve watched this video so much that I know it like the back of my hand. ☹️
I love Kelsey, she's funny, loving, and loves to talk about the more important facts a ton. She's amazing and I love her story with her mental health. It inspired me with my mental health to, I love how she explained why and what she says that matters.
I watch this and it makes everything seem real. I watch it a lot. It makes everything known. It makes me feel not so alone.
the line "what is the price of happiness?" Is so powerful. love this video so much
I've watched this I don't know how many times, and I cry every time. It's beautiful and raw and says so many things I've thought but never voiced.
17 years old with m.e, cfs, fibro, bipolar, adhd, ptsd, severe depression and severe anxiety. including panic attacks. I always go back to this video to remind myself that I'm trying to get my self better and all the medication I'm taking is for a reason.
I've watched this video over 100 times. It's therapeutic.
Holly Aubry me too 😂 and "living with depression"
This mental health week is great. It's awesome how Buzzfeed is raising awareness, and educating people about these issues.
Wow. Very Powerful. "But I can hold myself accountable for the strength of trying"
Struggling to find the strength. Thank you for sharing.
I didn't realize how much I needed this video. I'm not crying, there's something in my eye.
i wish buzzfeed would make beautiful videos like this nowaday
"the threat of unpredictability is the scariest part when something depressing happens to someone with depression."
wow
"good days bad days really bad days"
on those really really bad days I always go back to this video. it helps, thanks
Remember when buzzfeed was like this
I am not a big fan of BuzzFeed's videos but I LOVE their mental health videos. They are so honest and true.
I think this is one of the best videos Buzzfeed has ever made.
Hey. Thanks for this video. This really touched home. I dealt with suicidal thoughts and depression for a few years and was always afraid of the stigma of telling people I was depressed. I barely took anti-depressants because I was afraid of admitting that I needed help from a substance than to rely on myself to get better. When I finally agreed to take anti-depressants I kept crying in front of the pharmacist who kept giving me this look of judgement. Nobody told me, not my psychiatrist nor the pharmacist, that my depression would get worse before it gets better on the medication. I began taking anti-depressants on a class trip in Shanghai and I wanted to throw myself out the window and kept breaking down in my hotel room. I never felt so lonely, probably because I was half way around the world. I stopped taking anti-depressants because I got scared of the come down but a year later the chemistry in my head got better. I haven't been depressed since but I know it could come back. Thank you for telling your story. Your journey inspires me and I will use it for strength should my depression return.
Thank you for this. The hardest part is when you have years of feeling great...then life happens and you crash, hard. I've learned that self care/maintenance is so important and life long. Wishing any one struggling now peace and joy!
Kim McC g
This is by biggest fear.. I feel great now, after a long batlle with anxiety and ocd, and Im so scared of "life happening" and putting me right back in square one or worse (my "bad" is pretty bad so I dont even wanna imagine "worse"
Luiza Gallas I understand completely. Maintenance - self-care, meds, whatever works for you - with mental health is key. The danger, in my case at least, was pretending that I didn't have an issue, neglecting myself and letting stress overwhelm me. Learn from my mistake if you can. Good luck!
Just got put onto medication today, and it’s scary but I will “hold myself accountable for the strength of trying”. ❤️
"The threat of unpredictability is the scariest part when something depressing happens to someone with depression"
This quote has stuck with me 6 years later. JFC Kelsey, you are amazing!
That hit me too! 😩
You guys should really do more videos on people that suffer from addiction.
Yes!
How is this video not more popular
this video hit way close to home. good for you, disembodied voice, for never giving up and giving strength to others to also persevere. you are amazing.
Oh, Kelsey. I've been here. I understand, and you're so strong and brave. Keep that chin up, beautiful; you're going to fly high.
My older sister is on a similar journey. Lately, she's been losing hope. She said at least once a week to my family "your lives would be so much easier without me" Then she saw this video. She has hope again. She started fighting again. Thank you
Current meds: Prozac, Klonapin, Busbar, & Nortriptyline. Recently weened off Welbutrin for making my memory so bad, most of the beginning of this year is a total blur.
I was cleaning my kitchen, totally fine, until I clicked this video, & now I sit sobbing on the floor, not because I feel alone, but because I wish I was alone, bc I would never wish the mental health issues I have on anyone.
"how much does it cost to be happy?" That hit home hard.
Thank you for you & your courage to be strong.
This is an emotional trip why are you doing this to me
nobody told you to watch
+Finn Johnson or did they
I'm on over 500 mg of medications to balance my mental state at 16. This is possibly the best video I have ever seen on buzzfeed, I connect to it so much. Especially with the lamictal that is exactly what happened to me, and the feeling I got. This video was like having somebody else tell my experience aloud.
It’s scary how relatable this video is.....
EJ Jenkins Honestly...
When people hear about my mental disorders, they don't believe me. "You can't possibly have anxiety disorder, Pure O, Borderline and Depression." And when I list of all the medication I've been on while only being 20 years old they think I do it for fun. I'm on three different medications right now, I've already tried eight others. I suffered through withdrawels from Ativan and if that's peoples definition of fun then they are the fucked up ones. People often think that medication will "change who you are" and yeah they do, for me they changed me to someone who can be happy instead of constantly thinking about suicide. Thank you for sharing your story with us Kelsey ♥
Finn Nathan well i mean...unless it’s your family or trusted friends you shouldn’t be telling this to anyone otherwise you sound whiny trust me i know how it feels to be called that
I love her even more now. This process is so frustrating, and it's so great to see this video, I can't express it.
“Hope” what a misleading drug in itself.
Wow that hits differently 🥺
this is kelsey's voice right
yep
This is such a powerful video, probably because there's no way of knowing that someone you know or love could be experiencing this same thing
As the independent and very stubborn person that I am, I spent eight or so years of my life suffering in silence because I kept telling myself I could handle it on my own. Truth is, I never could and I just liked the idea of being able to. So eight years went by and one day, I just had enough of the silent suffering and being alone. I started going on Zoloft for my anxiety back in July and it's got to be one of the best decisions I ever made. Sometimes you have to take a step back from your ego and pride, and take a step forward to ask for help and start your recovery.
I'm seriously loving Mental Health Week. I can relate too much and not a lot of people talk about it, thanks BuzzFeed.
"Hope, what a misleading drug it's self" very fuckin powerful
I come back to this video very often. I feel it so hard.
I cry every time i watch this video. It resonates with me so much. i just cant help it. thank you Kelsey for making this video. youre a hero
my respect and support for kelsey just sky rocketed
Love kelseys voice
Just started meds a few days ago for OCD and depression. After 22 years of managing it somehow I decided enough was enough. We will all get through these struggles
this video helped me get help for the depression I have had for years. thank you Kelsey and buzzfeed for mental health awareness week.
Oh my God Kelsey. Thank you I needed this. I haven't got the guts to go to a doctor. I didn't know you have such a journey I always admired you because of your personality well after this video, I salute you Kelsey!
I watched this video three years ago when I started my pill journey and now after all this time and a big mental break I've found myself back here. I'm still working on me, what seemed to be working for months just seemed to stop and now I'm back on the game of which pill will work? Please don't give up hope if any of you are scared. There's so much info and people who want to help us out there. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
watch this every single time I'm put on a new med, thank u.
me too
I'm 27 and have experienced suicidal thoughts and self harm since I was about 13. I was depressed for years (it's only occurred to me recently that all of the alcohol and drugs I was using were a way to self-medicate) but only sought help when I was 22. Since then I've been on 6 different anti-depressants and recently started an anti-psychotic in hopes it'll reduce my anxiety. I work in a high-stress job and like to think that I've been successful (managing a business, post-grad qualifications in the healthcare field) but my brain refuses to cooperate. I've lost a friend to suicide and had 2 other friends/family members attempt to take their lives. I've gone from being on top of the world and travelling to some awesome places, to only thinking about how I'd end my life. This can happen to anyone. We need to talk about mental health so nobody slips through the cracks and can become the best version of themselves.
I've recently started anti depressants and although they have been helping my mental state I have noticed my body having a negative reaction with many side effects. I'm curious about the medicine you've tried. Has anything helped to even take the edge off and if so did you ever have negative physical side effects whilst having a positive mental day? I am just trying to weigh the "what's better for me?" options battling my mind everyday is hard but now I have combat my body misbehaving too. I fully understand if you don't want to talk about it I am just trying to better understand what these tiny pills are doing to me.
Yeah Nah thank you for sharing your story. dont give up xxxxxxx there is surely a way. out of the millions possible, there will be one for you. keep fighting and it’ll find its way to you eventually xxx
I relate to this so much, I couldn't even begin to tell you how many times I've watched this video since it came out. Thank you BuzzFeed, I needed this.
When this video came out, I didn’t know I had undiagnosed major depression. Today, it’s been a year of trying all sorts of medications but I finally have a handle on it. Thank you Kelsey for sharing your journey.
I almost cried when I saw this because about September of 2017 , I've gone through really bad anxiety. I was continuely having lot of panic , and a lots of anxiety attacks and I first went to a hospital where I stayed for 10 days, there they gave me the contact whit a therapist that wouldn't work whit me , meanwhile I was also going to a psychologist and she was helping me a lot . After I quitted my therapist to see another one, (that I went to see for the last time October 2018 ) my mental health started to get better. Now I'm really improved and I was only 11 years old when I went throught all of this , so PLEASE don't say that teens haven't got throught a lot, because It's not always true.
So...It took me a long time to figure all of this out, but It's just in your head , you can either decide to let it win or let it take control over you . Trust me , I did it, others people did it , YOU CAN do it ❤️
This is so inspirational.
Made me tear up.
If you read this, I don't care how cliché it sounds, it's something that I really needed to realize just now that I want to tell everyone who needs to hear it: you never are alone.
"There are no rights and wrongs when it comes to feeling and mood. They just exist. We just feel. It's the choices we make on how to constructively deal with those feelings that define us." I wish I'd learned this years ago, I only started figuring it out in the past year or so. Thank you for making this.
If you are reading this comment you are beautiful and amazing. Have an amazing day and KEEP SMILING 😇😇😇👍🏼
+Hot Dog dud you must have so much free time to just spread love like this , im just saying that if someone with a busy day programme sort the things that he will do during the day by priority u probebly will find "spreading love" in the 20th page with 30 elemnts in each , and thanks have a good day as well .
+Hot Dog thanks man its nice to see someone being nice over the internet and not just seeing a bunch of trolls being mean to anyone who will let them
This comment made my day 😊
+Hot Dog Thank you. I needed this right now.
+Hot Dog I wish you the same! :))
As an artist and musician, I can say that taking medicines for my schizophrenia and depression has completely dulled my creativity. Although the pills help the illness at hand, I suffer in other ways.
I feel you.
Same
i feel like creative people mentally struggle the most.
+Fangirl that is actually very true
Fangirl I swear, it's like doctors just want us to lose our sense of creativity and have us be like everyone else...
This is incredible and we need more of it, because too many people think that after being one prescription all of their mental problems will be magically cured--they give up when it doesn't work. However, the pill journey never ends because our bodies are ever-changing. Wonderful message!
This made me cry. I had the same the journey. It is terrible and depressing. This is half the reason I'm in school to become a psychologist. No one should have to suffer like that. I understand there are worse things in the world, but who do have to run to when have no one, not even yourself, because you are worst enemy.
I love you. Turn to god !
I suffer from BPD, and depression. I have been diagnosed with BPD but I never told anyone about my depression. Faking that I was fine everyday made me sick, mentally and physically. No one ever paid attention to my BPD , I always thought that no one , not ever my therapist , thought the BPD was that serious. Then it came. I got anxiety . I got panic attacks frequently , but never told any body . Next month I will be trying to find help for my depression .
Caroline Kanwan you are not alone❤️
"What's the price of happiness?"
+Dexie Distortion
In theory it should cost nothing but society says otherwise
$xanax
it’s been years, and i’ve just begun my medication journey. this was what I needed today
@Kelsey....I’ve watched this video at least thirty times. It gives me hope. Thank you.
As well! I love you keep fighting!
i still come back to this video all the time
me too for some reason
I’m on lemectal too... it didn’t work for me and i went to the ER and tried to commit sucide 3 times. I’m still trying to make my medications okay. Your gonna be okay it will be okay 💛
this is an update from 4 weeks from this comment:
I’ve gotten off of lemectal and i’m so much happier and i never thought i would be this happy ever. i’m on a cocktail of medication but i’m okay with it. i have the diagnosis now. Generalized Anxiety, Severe Major Depessive, and AdHD, and rapid cycling (like bipolar but less severe). now that i have these i can get better treatment.
for the people who are still struggling to find everything, it will be okay, it will get better, i know it might not feel like it because i’ve been told this and i didn’t believe it and here i am. it got better. you will be okay 💛
I wish I knew who this girl was or who this story was about so I could just thank her for being so honest and open. For the first time in my life, I felt like for once someone understood my journey and my heart is full. Thank you for this video, I wish I found it sooner ❤️
Michelle Ono her name is Kelsey Darragh :)
Christina oh my goodness thank you so much!!! ❤️
Today I watched this video. I have been strungling with depression since I was ten and have developed panic and anxiety attacks as well. I just from no were started thinking about how I could fix it or something, and how I was going to tell me parents. I started looking at PDST and Bipolar and ADHD and so many different stuff and it was so over whelming just thinking that for once, something was really wrong with the way I was feeling. So I got a panic attack in the middle of class. And my way to calm down is to cry. I was suprised at how many helped me and now I know what I need to do. I NEED to tell my parents so they can help me to start going to therapy and then trying to figure out what my mental illness is. Cause I don'tknow what it is.
So thank you Buzzfeed. You really light up my days sometimes.
I really appreciate that she was willing to do this.
Love that they talked about suboxone 💙
this video describes it perfectly. i have been on medication my entire like for ADHD and then depression set in and then came another pill. i can't explain to anyone how i feel my therapists thinks im fine, like im on meds so i must be fine right? no one can tell you if you are and something you can't even know yourself. this video put it into words that i wish i could. thanks, y'all helped me so much in life.
"What is the price of happiness?" That got me
I love this video so much, I have honestly watched it over 50 times.
I haven’t ever had the guts to go to a doctor/therapist and I admire you for being strong through all of your stress and struggles
I cried like a little baby watching this.
Kelsey, you deserve a bag of skittles and 2000 bottles of wine for telling us your story. Ly ❤️
Hello again
Skittles for all who can relate to this video
+Maya The Psychic oH hello Pham
The phandom is everywhere...
Mental illness is exhausting, draining, debilitating and isolating. The cons crush the pros. The only silver lining I see in my experience is being absolutely clear that my life will be in my control.
There are so many of us struggling out there. They don't yet know how they will be able to treat all of us, so a lot of us are left to our own devises to sort out our mental illnesses. But we are. We are finding small techniques that make our lives a little bit better. We are swapping ideas and supporting each other.
I hope that the next generation gets the adequate professional help to combat their mental illness but I'm proud of those now who are surviving this without professional help.
I ran out of room on my last comment so I'm posting another. Suboxone is seriously horrible and withdrawing off of it was harder than some of the horrible hard drugs I was hooked on years ago. My doctor originally was going to have me on it for a month at max. Well after a month, he tells me he wants to double my dose and keep me on it a year. If I had done that, getting off of it would have been nearly impossible. It took a few weeks to fully ween off of it and during that time I was in so much pain. It was the week before and of Christmas that I was detoxing. To make it less painful and less miserable, my doctor had me on 5 different meds. These were the same meds I was given when I was in several treatment centers. Suboxone and a lot of prescription meds, especially benzos like xanax, are just as addicting as most hard street drugs. I have over 2 years clean and I am so thankful. I still suffer from several mental illnesses, but I'm doing better. 😄 I have to take it day by day tho
That's so great! I'm really proud! ❤️
stay strong :)
+Jenny Thorson My friend had a doctor put him on xanax for his severe anxiety. when he retired and they got a new dr they didn't refill the prescription when they refilled the rest. They were on 2mg and had such bad panic attacks they were taking it at least twice a day. They damn near died from withdrawal symptoms and went through utter hell because when he called after 1pm on a friday, when he caught the mistake while picking up his other meds, they didn't return the call until monday. he made the mistake of thinking they would call back before they closed at 5 and fix the mistake, but they didn't.
and Xanax
I nearly died from kicking a Xanax addicting cold turkey. I was in excruciating physical pain for two months, and extreme mental anguish for about a year. At least with suboxone you can ween yourself more easily. And it is not deadly. I only thought suboxone was for opiates though. Didn't know it could treat Xanax.
I can relate to this SO BADLY but everyone thinks im totally fine and living life to the fullest. Anyone else?
The Kawaii Slayer yes i can but only a best friend can see the pain in your fake happiness.not well phrased ,sorry feelings are hard
Yup I'm with you friend
"What is the price of happiness?"
That line actually made me cry.
This made me, cry it's nice to know that I'm not the only one.
I have Bipolar disorder. it's the worst feeling in the world to be happy, then sad. then realize your overreacting, then overreact because you're overreacting. I'm 14, but I'm making it. it's hard. but I know I can make it through. if you're going through this things please be good to yourself and realize its not your fault, and surround yourself with a support system that understands you (: Much love from the U.S.
cheyenne rowlands same here. bipolar disorder and anxiety attacks.41 pills a day. xanax addiction. it sucks
cheyenne rowlands you are way too young to be experiencing a bad life. Life gets way harder after school is over so make the best of what you have. Make and meet new friends. Love your family. Create goals that you want to achieve and achieve them. Find a new hobby like working out or something you find interesting. But don't ever rely on drugs. They will ruin your life and make life not worth living. I am a former drug addict that started with prescription pills and ended with iv heroin. It ruined 10 years of my life. But I am clean without anything and I ever felt better.
This made me cry... I have gone to the lowest of lows with mental illness. Finally getting better and thinking wow that sucked I'm better now though and then all of a sudden it comes crashing down and your thoughts don't add up. You feel like you're losing your mind and it's not that you no longer want to live but your brain won't let you and you've tried so hard but you get beaten down in ways that confuse you and provoke the question, "why me?" And then you sit down with yourself, after pretty much isolating yourself for days and unknowingly self sabotaging the things that mean something to you because you don't want to ruin them since you've convinced yourself you're responsible for ruining yourself, and you tell yourself to try. THINK happy, meditate, DO something you love and you ask yourself is it that easy? And it's not. It is hard to maintain your mental health when your body's chemistry has put it on the back burner. But, when you do sit and tell yourself, it's just a thought, WHAT I'm scared of hasn't happened and may not even come true, The things I love are still here and if one day they aren't, thats fine too: you find yourself a little more able to breathe and every day after that. It gets easier.
My moms been suffering depression her whole life. She recently had a stroke from a wrong mix of medication and is out of work because of high blood pressure (which is typically around 190/120 which is a stroke waiting to happen) she's been contemplating suicide for years but now it seems like the end of the line I feel this video will help give her hope.
aww I'm sorry to hear that, I will pray for her. tell her suicide is never the option have faith because all of the hurt and suffering is only temporary! things will get better very soon in Jesus name!!!!!
god bless your mom
My mom was suicidal for awhile, she even tried to commit suicide with medication. 3 years later, she's much happier! I hope your mom is okay, and let the odds be in your favor!
+Neferati prayer does wonders have a blessed day
This actually helped her a lot she's having a good day today thank you for your thoughts and prayers
Thank you for saying that you don't have to be accountable for your illness. Sometimes I feel like it's my fault, and it's not
So emotional, I cannot believe how strong you are.
Thank you so much for sharing your story.
This video is so beautiful and powerful, it really makes you think.
This is my favorite Buzzfeed video ever
Rispiridone saved my life. And made me gain twice as much weight as I was as an adult. Your story is very real to me.
Idk how many times I've watched this but it hits me every time I do.
It's so true though it is a CHOICE on how we deal with our situations that makes a difference.