I know Im randomly asking but does someone know of a trick to get back into an Instagram account..? I somehow lost my account password. I appreciate any help you can offer me.
NN Capricorn. 3rd House. I emotionally and physically distanced myself from my family from an early age. Travelled extensively, living in many different countries. I'm a freedom seeker and independence is paramount. My home life was emotionally traumatic with an Narcissistic Father and Brother, who i have NEVER had any connection or contact since leaving home at 16. I am now 69. Have Lived alone for many year's. I trained as Nurse when I was 17. Have had many Jobs due to my restless nature. I also have Aquarius in my 4 th House. Great analysis Hannah. 😘💓🌠💫🏴
My daughter has this placement, I hope I can understand that she will need distance from the family and hope she can find her stance of authority within our family dynamic. ❤️
"other peoples feelings are not your burden to carry" Oh man, Hannah, so true. I have been making progress lately in regards to seeing things for what they are in regards to my "parents" and it's starting to really sink in that a role-reversal has occured and that I have been massively parentified as I keep saying. Thing is logically it makes total sense that parents take care of children and not the other way round and that I am not responsible for the feelings of a woman who is 40 years older than me, but it just feels so normal this way and I always ask myself wether i am imagining all of this and if I am overlooking something/not getting something. I also have to process the hurt and tremendous anger I feel about the injustice of it all. So its a work in progress but I am getting better and am healing more and more. So chances are if you have been parentified you will have anger and resentment. If you do, then know that it is completely valid, Hannah! You had to take over responsibilities that were never yours. If people can't figure out how to deal with their emotions they should go seek professional help instead of putting it all on their children.
I agree with all you said, adding to this, i personally believe we should also own up to the maturity of our soul and completely own and accept whatever our stories and realities have been. So we don't feel sorry for ourselves but embrace our strength through these circumstances while also learning what we couldn't growing up. (I have the same placement, Capricorn North node in 10th house)
100% me and my family. I moved to a different country to help distance myself from my family members' emotional problems.... Now that I'm back I've definitely learned to be objective and decide when I can actually get involved while still maintaining my own emotional health.
Thank you so helpful. I have a paraplegic older sister she has 3 older children. My mother is an alcoholic. I have a schizophrenic brother. I carry their emotions all the time I can’t go around much because I feel bad afterward because I can’t do anything to help them. I have read book on being in the present moment and healthy breathing has helped a lot. I’m a double Capricorn with northnode in Capricorn in the 1st house Libra moon.
3:45 Traits to work on reducing. "Limiting yourself because of fear" I cried 😢 ruined my own relationships , dream job, dream education because of fear. Where was this video when I needed it? 😢 Saturn and SN Capricorn 5th house Jupiter and NN Cancer 11th house.
Hi, i have saturn and SN Cancer 11th house and NN / black moon lilith Capricorn 5th house... interesting. I am appreciating reading other people's life experiences. Thank you for sharing yours. Aloha, from Hawaii..
I’m 27, and have had no desire of starting a family of my own. Everyone says I will change my mind, but I don’t think I will. I wonder if I feel this way because in my past life, that was my whole life and in this life I want it to be for me. I still live in my family home but am working very hard to save up money to have a place of my own. I also did have a lot of emotional issues within my family, I’ve had to go through a lot of therapy. This video makes so much sense!
I was a house wife in my past life , it explain why I want it now . I need to serve my life's purpose ....I know I need to achieve my goals and work towards them harder ....im slacking.
It feels like I've found home just reading everyone's experiences.... I don't feel so alone.. Though it would be cool if our families could chill tf out lol
I have Capricorn NN in the 4th house which I heard was the home of cancer and all of this is pretty accurate for me. I always feel like I go completely out of my way for family and it isn’t returned. I often fantasize of moving far far away from family and disconnecting my phone.
Ha, I actually DID stop taking calls around 8 years ago and instead of doing what I’d do in the situation where my own Child wasn’t communicating with me and feel concerned or upset that there was a problem where my Child was feeling either so overwhelmed with Hurt or Anger, or maybe too Uncomfortable etc., that they felt like they didn’t want to talk to Me and then doing everything I could do to help and resolve what was going on for them, my family framed it as all my fault, “What’s wrong with her?” And “What’s her problem?” (Family Scapegoat here lol) And when I did reconnect with them, it was either about how much hurt I’d caused or completely ignored 👀 In the past I allowed this to cause intense feelings of guilt, shame and self doubt about my own perceptions and feelings, causing me to believe that I was the problem and in some level of denial of reality in order to avoid taking responsibility for myself… But in the years since I’d disconnected, I had spent that time in Recovery, Therapy and working with Healing Practitioners and had done some deeply intensive spiritual and emotional healing work on myself… I’d also spent years on researching and educating myself!! One of the benefits of the time apart was being able to step off the Merrygoround of being in the shame cycle of being constantly triggered, reacting and fight or flight because of the unhealed wounds… But while I didn’t expect them to see/get me or understand that my choice was about me being so hurt that it was the best thing I could do at the time and NOT about me wanting to hurt and punish them (to be honest, the very notion of me wanting to hurt them never even occurred to me during this time!!), I admit that my heart sunk in deep sorrow when after so many years their Narrative was still about themselves and how they were feeling about it - Not one person in my Family has ever asked me about WHY I felt that I needed to distance and disconnect during this time 💔😪💔 I know that all of our Families and our Family Dynamics are very different, but in my experience, when you’re in a Family that has a LOW EQ, low self awareness and deeply fear their subconscious stuff (and we have a HIGH EQ, are deeply self aware and are often highly empathic as well as the Family Scapegoat who has internalised our Family’s subconscious feelings and projections to Act Out as we believe that we are responsible for managing their emotions or we are in the Role of The Wounded Healer and we believe that we are either Protecting them from their pain or alleviating their Suffering and carry it for them or we are responsible for managing their inner pain and chaos because we sense that they are incapable of feeling/facing their own demons and sometimes we are doing it to protect ourselves from their triggers of rage, blame, abuse, addictions etc., imo)… But I think that if anyone is at the point where they feel they need to step out of their Family for awhile or disconnect themselves physically and emotionally in a choice of your life and self care because you cannot take it a second more and do not have the support to keep yourself safe spiritually, emotionally (mentally and sometimes physically) in any other way, please, for your own sake, do it consciously for YOU and let go of any hopes that things/they will be different in a better way than what you left them or that they’ll have the capacity for concern about your feelings, reasons or seeking resolution OR the capacity for self reflection and self inquiry to figure out what their part is… However, if by chance they are able to do all that AND have the Humility to offer you apologies and the desire for the conflict to strengthen your relationship with them, then I’m SINCERELY HAPPY for you and I wish you and your Loved Ones all the BEST❣️❣️❣️❣️
EVERYONE of your videos - is SUPER SUPER SUPER ACCURATE - Hannah you are an AMAZING astrologer - thank you so much for your contribution to astrology; this is my placement and is accurate to the T. Much love and light xx
I wish I had this information and understanding capabilities some twenty years ago, it may have given me a more fruitful and less resentful life. Better late than never, I sincerely thank you for the clarity that your no nonsense commentary has given. Thank you.
Wow, i can't not believe I felt like someone just read my life. Family. I just can't even go there. I do depend on my relationships.. i realized that..and all year i have stayed single...working really hard...to break these things i realized about myself. On the path to #SelfGrowth
This was such a good explanation!! Especially the ending, feels like Capricorn energy in general always seems to be explained about “reaching” that top rather than appreciating the success here & now. Thank you! 🙏🏼
Omg yes! My South Node coupled with my dysfunctional family dynamic trapped me bring infantilized and co-dependent. Ready for independence and self-reliance.
This was spot on and beautiful and what do you know my north node is in 4th house so you can imagine how immersed I was with my family I’m 29 now and I’m so glad I can finally accept that I don’t have to take on the emotional baggage of my family and still be there for them.
Omg this is me! and it is not cool. I have had to detach from my ultra toxic family. I do seem to remember being from a happy family. Just not in this lifetime.
This is literally what I talk about in therapy ALL THE GOD DAMN TIME. This whole thing. The needing to feel safe, the emotional manipulation, the messy family. Can I just tell her I'm this way because of my noses and stop trying to figure out why? Lol. Damn. So good.
8th house capricorn northnode. Thank u so much dear Hannah. You really gave me something to think deep about. Now my decicion to leave my family does make more sense. It was a inner urge to leave everthing behind, eventhough they see ne now as a unloyal selfish person. I really hope to find peace one day.
Thank you! This video says a lot and has made me see reality more. I've been taking steps into my capricorn node and I'm building more confidence with it!
Just discovered your channel Hannah! This is so spot on for me. I definitely feel as though I carry the weight of my family’s emotions and troubles and it really drains me mentally but I feel as though I am the only one who can fix it even though I know this is unhealthy for me. I have really enjoyed watching this. Thank you! X
Beautiful, glowing and elegant in this vid Hannah ;) I find the nodes to be fascinating placements in a natal chart..you could argue the point they are just as important or can really describe someone as much as their sun/moon/rising can. Case in point, my younger Cap sister..this is her 100%..growing up my mother and brothers/sisters always wondered why she acted so detached or cold to family matters, especially when it was emotional or love...now I know, lol
My north node in capricorn is in the 12th house. I definitely related to the toxic family holding back a higher spiritual purpose. They are very conservative and I have recently had to put up boundaries right as my first saturn returned in Aquarius.
This is honestly scary. This is me word for word. I wish there was more of a guide on how to be more like our north node bc its so hard to break out of our natural cycle
Aloha from Hawaii, thank u so much for all your videos it has opened me up learning more about myself and my lifes soul purpose. My NN is in this placement in the 7th house. Sending blessings to u and your family ❤
I have also north node in capricorn and in the fourth house this capricorn too,so true everything you said.My mother has always been a very cold woman, my father was a good man but died when I was seventeen, but as you said the past was gone. Today I am a mother and grandmother, more mature, thanks God. Thank you for your videos.
Its worse with this placement when your family is latin and your the oldest and conditioned to always be with your family, help them and never abandoned them.
“Take Charge!!” - My Mantra For 2023!! Cancer Sun and Scorpio Moon (Taurus Rising) here and my reaction to Rejection is to Emotionally Withdraw into My Shell, sit in my hurt, self pity, betrayal, anger, it’s not fair etc., (and it will effect my entire Mood and Energy for as long as it takes to pass, which might be an Hour or up to a Week) and this both impacts my Daily Life as well as my Personal Relationships and I hate it! Yet, the Fear of the possibility of being Rejected or Abandoned by the person who I’m feeling wounded by is so overpowering that in my mind it feels safer to quietly withdraw and then say nothing - and I think this is connected to my Childhood Wounding from being the Scapegoat and the Black Sheep in my Family of Origin with Adult-Children for Parents who also have a strong degree of Narcissism and I learned that when I spoke from my Authentic Self (and with my 🦀 Sun and 🦂 Moon we are extremely intuitive and perceptive of the Truth in our Homes and vocalising the Subconscious Fears of our Parents)… And I was taught that it’s not emotionally safe for me to speak up, to disconnect from my Authentic Self, shut down in Fear because I was shamed, gaslit, threatened and punished with aggression, being hit, silent treatment and emotional withdrawal and abandonment… I know my Story isn’t Unique and heartbreakingly so, too many children experienced Wounding from Childhood Trauma and Abuse… You’re a Capricorn North Node like me, can you recommend any good resources or books on Communication - where I’m not being paralysed by Fear, honouring myself in a healthy, compassionate and productive way while not holding and caretaking their feelings as a way to protect myself, protect them emotionally in an attempt to mange my fears and try to manipulate their responses so that the outcome won’t trigger my feelings of rejection or abandonment? I hope I’m making sense! If any other Capricorn North Node people read this and have any suggestions, please, you’re welcome to share if you feel comfortable to do so 💗 Thank you, Hannah 💕🙏🏼💕
This is the story of my life. I am 33 and everything you said… just hit home for me on my 33rd birthday a few days ago. I am tired of being dependent on others. Im trying to grow up. I already started writing a book about breaking free of victims. I have to remember it doesnt happen all in one day
Aloha Hannah! I loaned out my Jan Spiller books and was looking on line for a reference or check in of sorts. I have Saturn/ SN Cancer 11th house ( NN Cap. 5th ) squaring pluto ( whoo hoo) this has not been a boring life so far, at 46...and it's only getting better, more enjoyable.. I find it useful to review Jan's books from time to time to stay on track! I am grateful to have found your site, and I truly appreciated your video. I am a happy new subscriber. Mahalo from Hawaii to share some personal info, in my 20's i felt such guilt / obligation for "leaving" and going to college! always felt like i needed to check in with the family to help them not worry about me, it was burdensome. then my mom got sick...more burden and then the guilt of feeling relief when she passed..only to feel the burden of an only child with a father so deep in grief he was suicidal...finally dad remarried, is happy, and I have been getting back on my track (NN!) ever since. Zero desire to get married, and have family of my own. My dog & friends ARE MY FAMILY. I love LIVING ALONE..
My North Node in Capricorn happens to be in the 9th house, I just want freedom in that regard basically, or at least that's how it began, but has progressed into me becoming a teacher. I'm exploring the possibility of whether on not your nodes can progress, and would love to hear your perspective on that, thank you. Once again, great video.
my NN is also in Capricorn i have also found myself being a home school teacher to both my children. I believe that comes from the 9th house element which is ruled by Sagittarius. I'm wondering what you mean by progress. Do you mean transform into other signs or evolve into the highest interpretation. you can evolve and express the more favorable side to this aspect while growing out of the less evolved portions.
Since I have a strong Capricorn influence in my 10th house and having this S/N node in this placement this might explain why I’m not really close with my family both immediate and extended. When I was younger I mighty have needed them but now that I Married my cancer husband he is the one who truly gives me emotional support and who I act needy to. I just don’t want my family to always have to take care of me despite my own mental issues.
this is really nice :) im scorp sun/rising, libra moon, saturn in aqua, and north node in capi. Ive been emotionally distant from my family a little bit since childhood. I could never understand how they were so insensitive to my feelings, while I was trying to just make everyone happy and always do what they wanted me to do, just so they were proud of me. the last few years, like since early teenage years, (im 26), i just naturally started parting ways with them. I love them to death and ill do anything for them. but their involvement in my life is close to not-existing. I was always very stubborn and it was close to impossible to control me. And the more years go by, the better I feel about it. And its nice to hear that im on the right track actually :P thank you dear for beautiful videos, I love em.
I’m a last degree Capricorn sun conjunct south node in Capricorn. I keep trying to connect to the north node but it’s like everything in my life feels wrong when do. I feel like I’m going in the wrong direction.
Thank you so very much! 🦋 This makes total sense to me, with north node in capricorn, in the house of leo. While IC in scorpio. Chiron in leo, in 12th house. Moon in taurus, in tenth house. My childhood was not very supportive and very toxic (emotionally dysfunctional), and as a very sensitive soul, in this life I am learning how to just be and do me. In my childhood, it felt like I had to parent my parent. And my own will, wishes and dreams were suppressed early. I am learning how to break out of myself and get into that energy and how to just go for things, just live, love, have fun... It's a beautiful process, but also harder than people might first think. Though, I'm not accepting my hinders. Go go go (sun in aries haha).
I have that position. What I can say is that during my whole life, my effeminate behaviour was the reason of humiliations, jokes, and violence even from my family members. I had to force myself to change my behaviour, be a “robot” without expression, because the way I naturally walk, talk and move spontaneously was an excuse to homophobic people hurt me. I never met an effeminate person in the position of authority: presidents, diplomats, military... And even when I watch movies gay people are just doing a comic and not important character. It is easy to tell a person with north node in 4th house to don’t look for respect... Everyone needs respect and some people with that position have been humiliated for a long time. Being in an authoritative position is important to us, not to prove anything to others, but to prove ourselves that we can do anything we want. The society is not really fair to people with north node in the 4th house, so they have the difficult mission of “changing the rules”, that’s their soul mission: respect themselves even if the rest of the world try to humiliate them.
This lifetime ........... little family connection ......... mother was an Aquarian let me run around and do anything ...... but later I became her emotional support.... heard nothing but bad things about my father..... upset she would alway say... "You're just like your dad".....couldn't wait to get out of that emotional dark pain........ and get out of that area, get out of that state ........"Karma has one hell of price".......Dependency is a trap........Spot on reading...................you understand this placement.
This makes so much sense...My North Node is Capricorn in the 11th house while in the 5th house. My sense of security was ripped under my feet. Yep with the emotional baggage. I never had stability since I was a kid. I live with a Capricorn mother and a stepdad that is a cancer doesn’t make it easier at all.Exactly I don’t feel close with them at all. I been through a lot since I was a kid and everything feels BLAH 😑 This makes a lot sense too me now. Thank you 🙏❤️❤️❤️
Interesting to see I realized that that's what I had to do, because it just wasn't healthy. My emotional fulfillment wouldn't come from my family like I so desperately wanted. It was tough but I made peace with it. On the other hand: could you do a video on inverse nodal return? (Transit NN conj natal SN) I can't quite understand how this plays out in general terms and there isn't much info on it. Great video! Very informative
omg im nth node in Capricorn and I was the same with moving and travelling around and then always going back to my family home inbwtween !! for ten years I did that.
Ugh, I feel like this is a nail on the head... I have this in my 1st and 7th house. However, Capricorn/Cancer are intercepted by Sagittarius/Gemini, which are doubled rulers of 1st/12th and 6th/7th.
I am still stuck in the past, I still havent learnd to let go and I am so older now but still sometimes I go there. Wondering what have I done wrong, if Icould have done something that might be able to change the outcome. Was it my fault? I know now, that nothing I would have done, would have changed, but still,I wish for the happy ending. It is like when you see a movie and the end was not what you expected and you search for another finale. That is how I feel from my past. I lost my parents at an early age, but so others do, so why I cant I still let it go, fully? I felt abandoned. Other peoples emotions are always mixed with mine and I still react so poorly sometimes at my age, need to be adult like!Haha! I am one for long time now at least on paper! Lol The only way to cope sometimes, is to get distant from others. Then it makes me feel guilty and ashamed for not being there if they need me, and again the emotions come back as a rollacoaster. Joining to the anxious type of wanting to be cared and loved by others even when you didnt still learned to love yourself is just absolutely insane sometimes. I am happy that such at a young age, you have already found that clarity and can access tools to help you navigate that inner turmoil that affects us in such a way, than others that are less emotional. I am also seeking, in an unconscious manner,for others approval to feel valued
Can anyone possibly help me decipher my South Node falls into the same sign as my Midheaven?! AND the same sign as my Chiron! They all 3 are in Cancer. It's conflicting. I feel like I'm a walking paradox 😔 I don't have anyone to discuss this with.
I'm 28 yrs old I have north node in capricorn and south node cancer my mom is also cancer ur explanation of the nodes helped me a lot feel like everything u said relates to me too it I'm writing this comment under a different name as I am a girl this is my friends phone lol
So I just learned about the nodes and this is 100% me and it 100% resonates also my nodes are off this actually makes me feel sad I am the only child and my mom has terrible emotional problems and has this I am the victim attitude only thing she came from a family where she never had to be an adult she has given everything so that made her not know how to be an adult and I’ve always had to take care of her causing me to put my life on “hold” the question is how do we balance our nodes ????
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This series was created using the book: Astrology For The Soul, by Jan Spiller (1997) ✨
Hannah's Elsewhere My Jam!!!!
Ha was reading this book and wanted to broaden my knowledge so came here ;)
Hannah's Elsewhere I’m coming to Ireland soon from Texas
I have this NN but in my 3rd house. I have Scorpio ASC 1st house
I know Im randomly asking but does someone know of a trick to get back into an Instagram account..?
I somehow lost my account password. I appreciate any help you can offer me.
NN Capricorn. 3rd House. I emotionally and physically distanced myself from my family from an early age. Travelled extensively, living in many different countries. I'm a freedom seeker and independence is paramount. My home life was emotionally traumatic with an Narcissistic Father and Brother, who i have NEVER had any connection or contact since leaving home at 16. I am now 69. Have Lived alone for many year's. I trained as Nurse when I was 17. Have had many Jobs due to my restless nature. I also have Aquarius in my 4 th House. Great analysis Hannah. 😘💓🌠💫🏴
"Taking charge of your own emotions, rather than feeling victimized by them", I think this is the key line.
Family meant everything to me in my previous life. In this life time I was deceived by everyone.
My daughter has this placement, I hope I can understand that she will need distance from the family and hope she can find her stance of authority within our family dynamic. ❤️
You sound like an awesome mom
@@KitKat-gw4rh aw thank you so much. 🥰
Best wishes ❤️
Time to stay in the present, separate myself with family and start towards my destiny. Thanks for the video!
"other peoples feelings are not your burden to carry" Oh man, Hannah, so true. I have been making progress lately in regards to seeing things for what they are in regards to my "parents" and it's starting to really sink in that a role-reversal has occured and that I have been massively parentified as I keep saying. Thing is logically it makes total sense that parents take care of children and not the other way round and that I am not responsible for the feelings of a woman who is 40 years older than me, but it just feels so normal this way and I always ask myself wether i am imagining all of this and if I am overlooking something/not getting something. I also have to process the hurt and tremendous anger I feel about the injustice of it all. So its a work in progress but I am getting better and am healing more and more. So chances are if you have been parentified you will have anger and resentment. If you do, then know that it is completely valid, Hannah! You had to take over responsibilities that were never yours. If people can't figure out how to deal with their emotions they should go seek professional help instead of putting it all on their children.
you took the words out of my mouth!!!!!
That last sentence, truly "spot on"👍🏻
Awwww Godd bless you🥺🥺🥺 as you heal
I agree with all you said, adding to this, i personally believe we should also own up to the maturity of our soul and completely own and accept whatever our stories and realities have been. So we don't feel sorry for ourselves but embrace our strength through these circumstances while also learning what we couldn't growing up. (I have the same placement, Capricorn North node in 10th house)
O M G my mouth was open the whole time lolol like I have had this talk with my mom wooowww I’ve actually had to distance myself from my family’s probs
Me too!!!
I'm just now learning this, its been VERY hard for me
Same
100% me and my family. I moved to a different country to help distance myself from my family members' emotional problems.... Now that I'm back I've definitely learned to be objective and decide when I can actually get involved while still maintaining my own emotional health.
Thank you so helpful. I have a paraplegic older sister she has 3 older children. My mother is an alcoholic. I have a schizophrenic brother. I carry their emotions all the time I can’t go around much because I feel bad afterward because I can’t do anything to help them. I have read book on being in the present moment and healthy breathing has helped a lot. I’m a double Capricorn with northnode in Capricorn in the 1st house Libra moon.
3:45 Traits to work on reducing.
"Limiting yourself because of fear" I cried 😢 ruined my own relationships , dream job, dream education because of fear. Where was this video when I needed it? 😢
Saturn and SN Capricorn 5th house
Jupiter and NN Cancer 11th house.
Hi, i have saturn and SN Cancer 11th house and NN / black moon lilith Capricorn 5th house... interesting. I am appreciating reading other people's life experiences. Thank you for sharing yours. Aloha, from Hawaii..
I’m 27, and have had no desire of starting a family of my own. Everyone says I will change my mind, but I don’t think I will. I wonder if I feel this way because in my past life, that was my whole life and in this life I want it to be for me. I still live in my family home but am working very hard to save up money to have a place of my own. I also did have a lot of emotional issues within my family, I’ve had to go through a lot of therapy. This video makes so much sense!
We are living the same life maaan 😂
I was a house wife in my past life , it explain why I want it now . I need to serve my life's purpose ....I know I need to achieve my goals and work towards them harder ....im slacking.
Fate made me become a house wife again this life and its making me fight a hard battle to get my career up again 😢
It feels like I've found home just reading everyone's experiences.... I don't feel so alone.. Though it would be cool if our families could chill tf out lol
You made me cry. I cannot decide right now but thank you for letting me know.
I have Capricorn NN in the 4th house which I heard was the home of cancer and all of this is pretty accurate for me. I always feel like I go completely out of my way for family and it isn’t returned. I often fantasize of moving far far away from family and disconnecting my phone.
I want to cut my whole family off i feel obligated though
Exactly similar to me
I feel the exactly same way
Ha, I actually DID stop taking calls around 8 years ago and instead of doing what I’d do in the situation where my own
Child wasn’t communicating with me and feel concerned or upset that there was a problem where my Child was feeling either so overwhelmed with Hurt or Anger, or maybe too Uncomfortable etc., that they felt like they didn’t want to talk to Me and then doing everything I could do to help and resolve what was going on for them, my family framed it as all my fault, “What’s wrong with her?” And “What’s her problem?” (Family Scapegoat here lol) And when I did reconnect with them, it was either about how much hurt I’d caused or completely ignored 👀
In the past I allowed this to cause intense feelings of guilt, shame and self doubt about my own perceptions and feelings, causing me to believe that I was the problem and in some level of denial of reality in order to avoid taking responsibility for myself… But in the years since I’d disconnected, I had spent that time in Recovery, Therapy and working with Healing Practitioners and had done some deeply intensive spiritual and emotional healing work on myself…
I’d also spent years on researching and educating myself!!
One of the benefits of the time apart was being able to step off the Merrygoround of being in the shame cycle of being constantly triggered, reacting and fight or flight because of the unhealed wounds…
But while I didn’t expect them to see/get me or understand that my choice was about me being so hurt that it was the best thing I could do at the time and NOT about me wanting to hurt and punish them (to be honest, the very notion of me wanting to hurt them never even occurred to me during this time!!), I admit that my heart sunk in deep sorrow when after so many years their Narrative was still about themselves and how they were feeling about it - Not one person in my Family has ever asked me about WHY I felt that I needed to distance and disconnect during this time 💔😪💔
I know that all of our Families and our Family Dynamics are very different, but in my experience, when you’re in a Family that has a LOW EQ, low self awareness and deeply fear their subconscious stuff (and we have a HIGH EQ, are deeply self aware and are often highly empathic as well as the Family Scapegoat who has internalised our Family’s subconscious feelings and projections to Act Out as we believe that we are responsible for managing their emotions or we are in the Role of The Wounded Healer and we believe that we are either Protecting them from their pain or alleviating their Suffering and carry it for them or we are responsible for managing their inner pain and chaos because we sense that they are incapable of feeling/facing their own demons and sometimes we are doing it to protect ourselves from their triggers of rage, blame, abuse, addictions etc., imo)… But I think that if anyone is at the point where they feel they need to step out of their Family for awhile or disconnect themselves physically and emotionally in a choice of your life and self care because you cannot take it a second more and do not have the support to keep yourself safe spiritually, emotionally (mentally and sometimes physically) in any other way, please, for your own sake, do it consciously for YOU and
let go of any hopes that things/they will be different in a better way than what you left them or that they’ll have the capacity for concern
about your feelings, reasons or seeking
resolution OR the capacity for self reflection and self inquiry to figure out what their part is…
However, if by chance they are able to do all that AND have the Humility to offer you apologies and the desire for the conflict to strengthen your relationship with them, then I’m SINCERELY HAPPY for you and I wish you and your Loved Ones all the BEST❣️❣️❣️❣️
Thank you for helping to honor Jan Spiller's work!
EVERYONE of your videos - is SUPER SUPER SUPER ACCURATE - Hannah you are an AMAZING astrologer - thank you so much for your contribution to astrology; this is my placement and is accurate to the T. Much love and light xx
I wish I had this information and understanding capabilities some twenty years ago, it may have given me a more fruitful and less resentful life. Better late than never, I sincerely thank you for the clarity that your no nonsense commentary has given. Thank you.
Wow, i can't not believe I felt like someone just read my life. Family. I just can't even go there. I do depend on my relationships.. i realized that..and all year i have stayed single...working really hard...to break these things i realized about myself. On the path to #SelfGrowth
This was such a good explanation!! Especially the ending, feels like Capricorn energy in general always seems to be explained about “reaching” that top rather than appreciating the success here & now. Thank you! 🙏🏼
Wow, I have trauma around my family. This has empowered me to work on my independence! Thank you!
When you have an narcisstic family?
Thank you..i feel like a big child sometimes..sick of it.
Thank you soo much 😊😊
Omg yes! My South Node coupled with my dysfunctional family dynamic trapped me bring infantilized and co-dependent. Ready for independence and self-reliance.
Same here... And pluto fourth house, chiron twelth 🙄😵
@@magicunicorn1167 same as you. not sure about chiron...i forgot.
This was spot on and beautiful and what do you know my north node is in 4th house so you can imagine how immersed I was with my family I’m 29 now and I’m so glad I can finally accept that I don’t have to take on the emotional baggage of my family and still be there for them.
OMG! Story of my life. This was SO relatable to my Cancer rising.
Same!! Cancer rising ..
Omg this is me! and it is not cool. I have had to detach from my ultra toxic family. I do seem to remember being from a happy family. Just not in this lifetime.
So true about family drama!
This is literally what I talk about in therapy ALL THE GOD DAMN TIME. This whole thing. The needing to feel safe, the emotional manipulation, the messy family. Can I just tell her I'm this way because of my noses and stop trying to figure out why? Lol. Damn. So good.
🤣❤
8th house capricorn northnode. Thank u so much dear Hannah. You really gave me something to think deep about. Now my decicion to leave my family does make more sense. It was a inner urge to leave everthing behind, eventhough they see ne now as a unloyal selfish person. I really hope to find peace one day.
Wish RUclips allowed us to reply. Ugh! I have NN Cap 8th, too… comparing notes HELPS.
lol I detached already. It’s been heavenly. Less commotion in my brain and heart
Well damn you weren’t kidding about being straight forward 😂 all things I needed to hear , thank you 🙏
Thank you! This video says a lot and has made me see reality more. I've been taking steps into my capricorn node and I'm building more confidence with it!
Wooww, you just confirmed a looooot of things about my life and family! Thank you SO SO much!
I can’t believe how true this is! 😳this really helped me understand myself a bit more so thank you!!!
thinkingthinkingthinking bc this blew my mind and idk where to start...
Hannah u provided the key I have been looking for
Just discovered your channel Hannah! This is so spot on for me. I definitely feel as though I carry the weight of my family’s emotions and troubles and it really drains me mentally but I feel as though I am the only one who can fix it even though I know this is unhealthy for me. I have really enjoyed watching this. Thank you! X
Beautiful, glowing and elegant in this vid Hannah ;)
I find the nodes to be fascinating placements in a natal chart..you could argue the point they are just as important or can really describe someone as much as their sun/moon/rising can. Case in point, my younger Cap sister..this is her 100%..growing up my mother and brothers/sisters always wondered why she acted so detached or cold to family matters, especially when it was emotional or love...now I know, lol
My north node in capricorn is in the 12th house. I definitely related to the toxic family holding back a higher spiritual purpose. They are very conservative and I have recently had to put up boundaries right as my first saturn returned in Aquarius.
This is honestly scary. This is me word for word. I wish there was more of a guide on how to be more like our north node bc its so hard to break out of our natural cycle
Geesh makes sooo much sense and very helpful. My node is the 8th house and thank you
Hannah - literally the realest shit anyone has ever said to me thus far in my life. Thank you.
My husband and I both have this. Our families have effective us so deeply and can drive us crazy!!!
This video is beyond on point thank you! I am currently moving away from my family I figured it out lol I’m so grateful of this video😊
This is JUST what I needed right now ❤️Thanks for this synchronicity. (10th House btw)
Aloha from Hawaii, thank u so much for all your videos it has opened me up learning more about myself and my lifes soul purpose. My NN is in this placement in the 7th house. Sending blessings to u and your family ❤
I didn’t even have to separate myself from my family. They just rejected me and it happened anyway lol
I'm sorry. Sending love💕
@@KitKat-gw4rh thank you ❤️
I have also north node in capricorn and in the fourth house this capricorn too,so true everything you said.My mother has always been a very cold woman, my father was a good man but died when I was seventeen, but as you said the past was gone. Today I am a mother and grandmother, more mature, thanks God. Thank you for your videos.
Anna Wintour I have this same exact placement
Hannah, you are a savior! a hero! thanks! I just realized I sit in a narc trance :O I need to get away
ima north node cancer south node capricorn, I related to some of this !!
BRAINWASHED me too🤦
North Node Cap here and I think my Sagittarius Moon along with my Aqua Mars helps with the emotional balance a whole lot as I gain wisdom with age.
Its worse with this placement when your family is latin and your the oldest and conditioned to always be with your family, help them and never abandoned them.
“Take Charge!!” - My Mantra For 2023!!
Cancer Sun and Scorpio Moon (Taurus Rising) here and my reaction to Rejection is to Emotionally Withdraw into My Shell, sit in my hurt, self pity, betrayal, anger, it’s not fair etc., (and it will effect my entire Mood and Energy for as long as it takes to pass, which might be an Hour or up to a Week) and this both impacts my Daily Life as well as my Personal Relationships and I hate it! Yet, the Fear of the possibility of being Rejected or Abandoned by the person who I’m feeling wounded by is so overpowering that in my mind it feels safer to quietly withdraw and then say nothing - and I think this is connected to my Childhood Wounding from being the Scapegoat and the Black Sheep in my Family of Origin with Adult-Children for Parents who also have a strong degree of Narcissism and I learned that when I spoke from my Authentic Self (and with my 🦀 Sun and 🦂 Moon we are extremely intuitive and perceptive of the Truth in our Homes and vocalising the Subconscious Fears of our Parents)… And I was taught that it’s not emotionally safe for me to speak up, to disconnect from my Authentic Self, shut down in Fear because I was shamed, gaslit, threatened and punished with aggression, being hit, silent treatment and emotional withdrawal and abandonment… I know my Story isn’t Unique and heartbreakingly so, too many children experienced Wounding from Childhood Trauma and Abuse…
You’re a Capricorn North Node like me, can you recommend any good resources or books on Communication - where I’m not being paralysed by Fear, honouring myself in a healthy, compassionate and productive way while not holding and caretaking their feelings as a way to protect myself, protect them emotionally in an attempt to mange my fears and try to manipulate their responses so that the outcome won’t trigger my feelings of rejection or abandonment? I hope I’m making sense!
If any other Capricorn North Node people read this and have any suggestions, please, you’re welcome to share if you feel comfortable to do so 💗
Thank you, Hannah 💕🙏🏼💕
This blew my mind. Amazing.
Thank you so much for this!!! Learning about this information has really put things in perspective for me!!
This is the story of my life.
I am 33 and everything you said… just hit home for me on my 33rd birthday a few days ago. I am tired of being dependent on others. Im trying to grow up. I already started writing a book about breaking free of victims. I have to remember it doesnt happen all in one day
Called out!!! Wow. Thank you!!
Aloha Hannah! I loaned out my Jan Spiller books and was looking on line for a reference or check in of sorts. I have Saturn/ SN Cancer 11th house ( NN Cap. 5th ) squaring pluto ( whoo hoo) this has not been a boring life so far, at 46...and it's only getting better, more enjoyable.. I find it useful to review Jan's books from time to time to stay on track! I am grateful to have found your site, and I truly appreciated your video. I am a happy new subscriber. Mahalo from Hawaii
to share some personal info, in my 20's i felt such guilt / obligation for "leaving" and going to college! always felt like i needed to check in with the family to help them not worry about me, it was burdensome. then my mom got sick...more burden and then the guilt of feeling relief when she passed..only to feel the burden of an only child with a father so deep in grief he was suicidal...finally dad remarried, is happy, and I have been getting back on my track (NN!) ever since. Zero desire to get married, and have family of my own. My dog & friends ARE MY FAMILY. I love LIVING ALONE..
My North Node in Capricorn happens to be in the 9th house, I just want freedom in that regard basically, or at least that's how it began, but has progressed into me becoming a teacher. I'm exploring the possibility of whether on not your nodes can progress, and would love to hear your perspective on that, thank you. Once again, great video.
my NN is also in Capricorn i have also found myself being a home school teacher to both my children. I believe that comes from the 9th house element which is ruled by Sagittarius. I'm wondering what you mean by progress. Do you mean transform into other signs or evolve into the highest interpretation. you can evolve and express the more favorable side to this aspect while growing out of the less evolved portions.
@@marelinemerlan8022 I believe he’s referring to a progressed chart (where over time your signs actually change)
This is such a great question!!
Am I correct in my interpretation of your question? @occult of Persia
So true it resonates more because I'm a Capricorn Asc my dsc is in Cancer.
This is GOLD !
Since I have a strong Capricorn influence in my 10th house and having this S/N node in this placement this might explain why I’m not really close with my family both immediate and extended. When I was younger I mighty have needed them but now that I Married my cancer husband he is the one who truly gives me emotional support and who I act needy to. I just don’t want my family to always have to take care of me despite my own mental issues.
this is really nice :) im scorp sun/rising, libra moon, saturn in aqua, and north node in capi. Ive been emotionally distant from my family a little bit since childhood. I could never understand how they were so insensitive to my feelings, while I was trying to just make everyone happy and always do what they wanted me to do, just so they were proud of me. the last few years, like since early teenage years, (im 26), i just naturally started parting ways with them. I love them to death and ill do anything for them. but their involvement in my life is close to not-existing. I was always very stubborn and it was close to impossible to control me. And the more years go by, the better I feel about it. And its nice to hear that im on the right track actually :P thank you dear for beautiful videos, I love em.
I’m a last degree Capricorn sun conjunct south node in Capricorn. I keep trying to connect to the north node but it’s like everything in my life feels wrong when do. I feel like I’m going in the wrong direction.
It's very hard to be the parent of a person with this placement, especially if your own placement wants closeness.
Provide a safe space for them at home to fly back once in a while 😊
I literally just woke up to someone in my life like this. This make Sooooo much sense. I thought I was dealing with a narcissist. 👀
you seem cool, and i'm glad you shared some of your past travels and history, it gives you a more relatable air!
You're such a wonderful teacher!
You are lovely. Thank you for this.
I’m trying 😔😭 specifically my father think I’m like I’m a bank insurance. These baggages, I can’t even. I can’t even start my own life.
Thank you so very much! 🦋 This makes total sense to me, with north node in capricorn, in the house of leo. While IC in scorpio. Chiron in leo, in 12th house. Moon in taurus, in tenth house. My childhood was not very supportive and very toxic (emotionally dysfunctional), and as a very sensitive soul, in this life I am learning how to just be and do me. In my childhood, it felt like I had to parent my parent. And my own will, wishes and dreams were suppressed early. I am learning how to break out of myself and get into that energy and how to just go for things, just live, love, have fun... It's a beautiful process, but also harder than people might first think. Though, I'm not accepting my hinders. Go go go (sun in aries haha).
Hannah, can this be applied to NN in the 10th house? Love your videos💜
Your breathing is intense, I like it.
Thank you Hannah, this was much needed. Happy New Year love!
I have that position. What I can say is that during my whole life, my effeminate behaviour was the reason of humiliations, jokes, and violence even from my family members. I had to force myself to change my behaviour, be a “robot” without expression, because the way I naturally walk, talk and move spontaneously was an excuse to homophobic people hurt me. I never met an effeminate person in the position of authority: presidents, diplomats, military... And even when I watch movies gay people are just doing a comic and not important character. It is easy to tell a person with north node in 4th house to don’t look for respect... Everyone needs respect and some people with that position have been humiliated for a long time. Being in an authoritative position is important to us, not to prove anything to others, but to prove ourselves that we can do anything we want. The society is not really fair to people with north node in the 4th house, so they have the difficult mission of “changing the rules”, that’s their soul mission: respect themselves even if the rest of the world try to humiliate them.
I have the north node in capricorn...in the forth house 🙄 thank you for this clear information 💖
I can’t wait to hear you talk about Virgo NN / Pisces SN!!
I love this eye shadow color on you and this look 🤗🤗
Hi! New subber here. 2/18/91 sun aquarius moon Pisces. I think my north node is in Capricorn not sure! Can you help me!
Much love.
Wow! Such a good video!
This lifetime ........... little family connection ......... mother was an Aquarian let me run around and do anything ...... but later I became her emotional support.... heard nothing but bad things about my father..... upset she would alway say... "You're just like your dad".....couldn't wait to get out of that emotional dark pain........ and get out of that area, get out of that state ........"Karma has one hell of price".......Dependency is a trap........Spot on reading...................you understand this placement.
What about when you move back at 28 during covid??? It’s been alright but I can definitely get caught up in my emotions from time to time.
This makes so much sense...My North Node is Capricorn in the 11th house while in the 5th house. My sense of security was ripped under my feet. Yep with the emotional baggage. I never had stability since I was a kid. I live with a Capricorn mother and a stepdad that is a cancer doesn’t make it easier at all.Exactly I don’t feel close with them at all. I been through a lot since I was a kid and everything feels BLAH 😑 This makes a lot sense too me now. Thank you 🙏❤️❤️❤️
Very passionately delivering this video thank u for this
Interesting to see I realized that that's what I had to do, because it just wasn't healthy. My emotional fulfillment wouldn't come from my family like I so desperately wanted. It was tough but I made peace with it. On the other hand: could you do a video on inverse nodal return? (Transit NN conj natal SN) I can't quite understand how this plays out in general terms and there isn't much info on it. Great video! Very informative
omg im nth node in Capricorn and I was the same with moving and travelling around and then always going back to my family home inbwtween !! for ten years I did that.
Thank you so much for this video! You hit the nail on the head:)
Wow this was so helpful! North node in Capricorn
Would this be partly why I get along so well with Capricorn’s??? This is so real
I have north node in Capricorn in 5th house. So I gotta look into what that means 🔍
Same here..
Ugh, I feel like this is a nail on the head... I have this in my 1st and 7th house. However, Capricorn/Cancer are intercepted by Sagittarius/Gemini, which are doubled rulers of 1st/12th and 6th/7th.
I am still stuck in the past, I still havent learnd to let go and I am so older now but still sometimes I go there. Wondering what have I done wrong, if Icould have done something that might be able to change the outcome. Was it my fault? I know now, that nothing I would have done, would have changed, but still,I wish for the happy ending. It is like when you see a movie and the end was not what you expected and you search for another finale. That is how I feel from my past.
I lost my parents at an early age, but so others do, so why I cant I still let it go, fully? I felt abandoned.
Other peoples emotions are always mixed with mine and I still react so poorly sometimes at my age, need to be adult like!Haha! I am one for long time now at least on paper! Lol
The only way to cope sometimes, is to get distant from others. Then it makes me feel guilty and ashamed for not being there if they need me, and again the emotions come back as a rollacoaster. Joining to the anxious type of wanting to be cared and loved by others even when you didnt still learned to love yourself is just absolutely insane sometimes.
I am happy that such at a young age, you have already found that clarity and can access tools to help you navigate that inner turmoil that affects us in such a way, than others that are less emotional. I am also seeking, in an unconscious manner,for others approval to feel valued
I like how Hannah uses the word “whilst”... we Americans never say that! Haha🗾
I related to this so much. Thank you.
That's just my life crises out on my face! Damn... thank you. really.
This video is brilliant. Thank you for this!
Brilliant - Thank you!
Can anyone possibly help me decipher my South Node falls into the same sign as my Midheaven?! AND the same sign as my Chiron! They all 3 are in Cancer. It's conflicting. I feel like I'm a walking paradox 😔 I don't have anyone to discuss this with.
I'm 28 yrs old I have north node in capricorn and south node cancer my mom is also cancer ur explanation of the nodes helped me a lot feel like everything u said relates to me too it I'm writing this comment under a different name as I am a girl this is my friends phone lol
Kinda neat... This Hannah shares similiar N and S nodes w/ you☺
So I just learned about the nodes and this is 100% me and it 100% resonates also my nodes are off this actually makes me feel sad I am the only child and my mom has terrible emotional problems and has this I am the victim attitude only thing she came from a family where she never had to be an adult she has given everything so that made her not know how to be an adult and I’ve always had to take care of her causing me to put my life on “hold” the question is how do we balance our nodes ????
This is so enlightening, thanks