Can you get married and study at the same time?
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- Опубликовано: 6 сен 2024
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Toxic selfish friend. Kirsten did a great job making this character unlikeable.
Tbh the blonde was way worse but they both where the exact some type of person a woman who was taught that the most important thing was getting married and having as many kids as your husband wanted
But even she came around and saw the error of her ways. After being the submissive and people pleasing one she forged a new path by thinking for herself. She did was what right for her. It took alot of courage and conviction to do this being she was raised in the type of environment she was in.
@@goreandhoodies3626 But Joan (the blonde) chose to marry and be a stay-at-home wife for herself, even when she passed the entrance exam and even with the support of her husband if she had gone through with law school. Betty's marriage was essentially forced on her by her overbearing mother and afterwards it was Betty who chose to get out and pursue a career for herself. The whole point is freedom to choose whatever suits you best.
@@capture_diarieslol Joan’s husband did not truly support her going to law school, especially if it got in the way of her getting his dinner on the table on time.
@@goreandhoodies3626
Joan wasn't annoying. She was smart and not an asshole like Betty.
If you lose a husband because you want to follow your dreams that husband's not worth it
Exactly! A relationship without maintaining your personal individuality isn't a relationship at all!
Not necessarily back then, especially if your potential husband was really the loveliest human being.
"Following your dreams" [at the cost of having a family] was not - is STILL not an easy decision to make for many women.
She gets married and her husband supports her going to law school but she decided she didn't want to go (I'm pretty sure)
Now, but back then...no
What about his feelings. The problems is ylshe dint even think to think about his feelings
My sister did it, bachelors degree, 4.0, CPA with a husband & 2 kids🥰. She’s smart, beautiful & amazing💕💕
Wow that's lovely! I'm happy for you and your sister! ❤
And an amazing role model for young girls that you can do it and have it all with the right man who encourages you to go after your dreams just like you do for them. Your brother in law sounds amazing partner to your sister
Yes but this flim was set in the 1950's when women weren't allowed to do both by Society.
What a legend. My sister was an almost olympic athlete and left it all to become a mother. I wish she would've done both.
My mother went back to school when I was in first grade, and graduated when I was in 7th grade and I am the youngest of three girls. She graduated the same year my oldest sister graduated from high school. She didn't care about school when she was in high school she had barely graduated but she ended up being valedictorian from her college. With three kids.
She was the smartest and most beautiful of them all.
Agreed
& she reduced herself to breeding stock for a man less than 1/2 her intelligence.
The nicest and best character as well.
I got a husband who refused to help me pay for university. Much to his anger I worked and paid for university and managed to study evening classes too and got 2 degrees. One history and one business. I wish my dad had allowed me to get a degree earlier than I could have done more financially. He died during the time of my studies. After 5 years I met a wonderful man that treated me as an equal. After 23 years, 17 of him being ill he died. I'm good, but my early life was a struggle. It taught me resilience and kindness for others. To MacKenzie: I was a stay at home woman that had been beaten once when I did get a job. He owed me more than you would understand.
Why the hell are you married to someone like that ?
@@Justanothernerd1023bro they died
@@Justanothernerd1023I think she found a new husband, & that one passed away. I’m so sorry for your loss, Pamela.
Why would your husband help you pay for university? I never thought that was something a significant other would have the obligation to do.
@mackenziebuchter8406 if you're not willing to help your partner become who they want to be then why are you with them?
Every actress in this film is so unbelievably talented it's insane honestly
Which movie is this ?
@@vijetha2023 this is called Mona Lisa's Smile
@@boonegrigsby thank you 😊
My friends wife got married and had 2 children under 5 when she completed her degree in physics in afghanistan under taliban rule. She managed to get a scholarship for a doctorate programme in physics at Manchester University where her husband supported her and the kids by working nights at McDonald’s (where we met). She’d make him homemade meals to take in and share with us too. The same year she finished her doctorate, she had another baby. Then after Covid she got given a job in one of the physics research departments at Cambridge University. She’s an incredible woman. Don’t say you can’t do it all, cause you can.
Thats a toxic mindset. Women shouldn’t have to do it all especially when married. It should be a team effort. So many women have run themselves haggard into serious illness with that mentality.
What an inspiring couple! Especially given their background in an environment that has taken so much from women. They're both strong and courageous. Not every man has the confidence to flip burgers while their partner strives for their dream, most would let their ego win. Congrats to them!
You can have it all if you want to, also you don't have to have it all just because you can ❤
Oh wow, if I may ask what’s her name? Does she have any of her research out? 🤔🙂
That is insane. What an amazing woman - and her parner too!
I just watched this! I loved it! I think Kristens character Betty was irritating at the start. But, as the movie progresses, you can see that she's miserable, bound to tradition in order to please her mother. It's great at the end when she finally shakes off the shackles of tradition and does what makes her happy! "Mona Lisa Smile" is brilliant! ❤
What's it called?
@@MissBelleMalfoy Mona Lisa smile
@MissBelleMalfoy It's called "Mona Lisa Smile."
Betty as a character showed a lot of growth by the end of the movie. She did the traditional thing as a wife, yet the husband treated her like crap by constantly cheating on her even though they had not been married for 4 months and she is told to take/accept it as part of being a wife coming from her mom. It was a serious wake up call for her causing her to reflect on many things.
Being a traditional wife can be good if you have a loving, respectful, appreciative and supportive partner. However, its not when the partner does the opposite and expect you to still take the crap he doles out because he believes she has no options outside of him and its worse when the family from both sides put pressure on the wife as well not to leave the marriage. A woman must have options to be more than she can be - independent, capable, intelligent and confident in herself/abilities. If the partner and others cannot respect/accept that its their problem.
If you lose a “husband” all because he doesn’t want you to pursue a higher education, then he’s not the “husband” you should want to be married to.
If you lose a husband who doesn’t want you to pursue a higher education/goal, then I’d have to say, it really isn’t a loss, is it?
My partner wanted me to be a stay-at- home wife at 16, I wanted to go to university. I'm 19 now, he's not my partner anymore and I'm 2 years deep into university :) Life is still so hard but I'm getting what I want 💛
Congratulations for forging your own path. No woman needs to be tied down at 16!
That’s too young for women to give up their freedom. I’m glad you’re pursuing YOUR dreams. Men come and men go. Stay true to yourself.
Gotta love how the comments section of the clips before and after this point are filled with people defending being a housewife and accusing her teacher of being an evil feminist for caring about her throwing away this opportunity when her teacher literally says "you can be married AND successful in your other pursuits".
People are so obsessed with defending just giving up and submitting to the status quo by relinquishing their autonomy and dreams that they will ignore who is ACTUALLY trying to tell them there is only one way to live to put down those trying to give them options.
And for the record: personally this is like hearing people defending the choice to sell yourself into slavery.
You're not advocating for a better world that meets your needs, you're just giving your life to someone else in hopes they won't do what so many have done to those before you who have made that same trade.
A trade of being your own person in society for being someone else's live-in housemaid and babysitting service.
Except at least then you'd be getting paid and have a work history if you ever lost your position.
*_You're a housewife only as long as you're married._*
*You're a failure of a woman as a divorcee, a societal burden as a single mother, and a tragic statistic as a widow.*
Being someone's wife as a profession and politcal stance in a society where money is king and greed is a virtue will NOT grant you the safety nor social accolades you'd think that sacrifice should grant you.
THANK YOU. And I see primarily American women saying this. Venerating the SAHM lifestyle while the rest of us over the world are still fighting to not be killed randomly. Choice feminism was a mistake. F your choice if it sets us back ages. - a Puerto Rican woman
The ONLY sane comment I’ve seen in a long while. I was losing hope here. I think alot of young women have become too stupid to understand how hard we had it. They should open the history book and just see that being a housewife is THE MOST vulnerable thing you could do and open to all kinds of abuse. In fact, abusers prey on people who want to be SAHM because they know that it’s hard to get out of a toxic relationship when you are in one. Even if my man treats me well, I am not a fool to understand that being a SAHM is not a good position. If my man falls ill, it will be me scrambling. Never rely on someone completely like that- man or woman. You have to learn to stand on your two feet and unless you are a trust fund baby, guard your money and your independence!
Finally! A common sense comment who understands practicality and isn't falling prey to the idea that the choice a woman makes to be purely a housewife is somehow "good" because it was a willing choice. Let's have some sense and be prepared! It's not about assuming the worst of your partner, but ensuring some security for the uncertainties of life
Glad to finally see a comment like this
I’m hopping on the band wagon to say thank you for the well worded and realistic comment 🙏🏻 I know too many women who didn’t know / don’t know their choices in life to do both (be a parent and be successful in a career). It’s wild (and disappointingly not surprising) that propaganda that marriage and building a family ONLY is still shilled out in this day and age. Life is so much more nuanced than that and I hope one day in the near future, everyone can see that.
That is the lie we tell woman.... that they can't have a career and be a mother. NO one questions a man how he works AND has children. They just KNOW he can do both.
Well, they don't expect him to take care of the children. Which means he really isn't doing both in the same way we expect women to at least.
@@oryantgemen can do both, we just made it socially acceptable not to. But plenty can, and do
Well, of course a man can do both-- if he's got a wife to take care of the kids and the house.
Um.... that's literally because the man isn't expected to do anything except come home, kiss his kids good night, and be fun on the weekends. He's not expected to raise them, clean the house, do laundry, be a chauffeur, a cook, a therapist, and about 15 other jobs at the same time.
Women do all the heavy lifting in childcare.
My mom had me at 17 and got married at 18 . She still finished her med school with a stellar GPA and now is a successful ob/gyn surgeon . You can totally do both .... Don't listen to anyone who tells you otherwise
Betty is miserable with her life because she was pressured by her mother to marry a man she liked but doesn't love. Her husband is not in love with her. In fact, he has been cheating on Betty since before their marriage. Everyone knows, but Betty is in denial. Just like everyone of her era, Betty believed the propaganda that marriage would be an effortless idyllic romantic fairytale while she plays the perfect wife. Since Betty is unhappy, she is determined to make everyone else unhappy & intentionally bump heads with her professor, Ms. Watson.
I watched my mother graduate with top honors from UCLA. Im glad she didnt let anyone tell her no.
What a depressing conversation/dilemma. It makes me think of when people talk about giving up their dream job/school for their partner as if 1) they can't attempt to have both or 2) they shouldn't prioritize themselves
Wow, that's not a friend. That's an enemy.
She is so jealous
Other women always seem to want to bring you down, women need to learn to build each other up.
Cough* fuk Tommy *cough... And that "friend" too. Except I'm sad she didn't go, loved the movie.
SPOILER ALERT MUCH?!!
Kirstin dunst is something else
My mom and dad married in 1960 and mom was still in college, they both went on to get masters ( my brother was a infant) mom decided to go on to phd and doctorate with my dads support so women can do both
Kirsten Dunst's character responds angrily to mask her jealousy and inner struggles.
I can’t imagine this girl giving up such an incredible opportunity which girls during those times never had. It’s okay she wanted family more than anything but to think the opportunity she passed away. So many girls of that would have killed for it. She must be really talented and skilled to be accepted.
The irony is, it's 2024 and women STILL have the dual burden.
I loved her in 10 things I hate about you but never thought how good of an actress she really is 😍 I need to watch that movie.
A true friend would support you
Damned if these weren't THE actresses of our generation all in one movie and smashing the dialogue out of the park.
I just realized Julia Stiles character went from wanting to be a wife and law school to telling her teacher that she is satisfied with just being a housewife. Totally missed that in the movie. The movie made it seemed like she always wanted to be a housewife. Interesting🤔
If it's that easy to lose maybe it wasn't worth having in the first place.
This feels like the female version of the Dead Poets’ Society and I love it😍
If misery loves company was a person 😂
I gave up college for my husband. I so wish i had given him up instead. But I truly believed he was the only man who would ever want me. I shouldvyjust stayed single.
I love this teacher moment! I know it’s a movie yet the flexibility is fantastic! Love one another
Yeah, back then. If you had the choice to have a career, you didn't have a choice to also get married and have a family so back then you had to choose, one or the other.
My mother told me I was too picky
My father wanted to buy me a ladder to elope.
My brother is a Ph d,the other 2 Masters .
I was never that much in love that I wanted to do servile labor
its so crazy they act like marriage is something they want but then here her friend is practically telling her that its an obligation to forget your dreams over marriage
If a person won’t love and support your dreams then why the hell would you even consider marrying them??
what sometimes they act like they're going to support you . but then after they're married they they switch on you . then you see how they really are . there's a lot of people that try to trick people . and then after you're married you find out how selfish they really are. they never cared
She was mad that she could be the housewife and a have a good career.
Women deserve an opportunity to have both a fulfilling home life (loving husband and caring kids) AND career. And men should also be able to enjoy a career AND have a happy family (which means being able to have a beautiful connection to his wife and children)
What an excellent cast!
It feels like i’ve seen 50 shorts of this movie. I think I may have seen the whole thing by now
What movie is this
Mona Lisa smile :)
Yes, you can do both. I studied after we got married and so did my hubby.
Imagine knowing that your husband probably cheats on you but still convincing your best friend to give up a different life to be in your hell
Says the best friend who’s husband is cheating on her
Man old times really was something else 😕
"Second, I can do both."
Mmmm. Maybe yes, maybe no. But if you persist, unlike your classmates at least you'll have a job to fall back on when your husband divorces you for a younger woman.
That's the thing many of these women don't understand: when you put the whole of your current and future security into marriage without a job of your own, everything from your home to your retirement hinges on one thing: your husband liking you enough to remain married to you. I don't mean love, I mean "like" -- on liking how you look, liking to spend time with you, simply him *liking* you the same tomorrow as he does today, all based on conditions you cannot control.
If you have a career as well, at least you can walk away with something still in your control.
No, she's this close to getting everything YOU ever wanted.
It is possible to have both.
@knabe9837 - Thank you for being transparent. A career and a crib oppose each other. Giving our all to both is unrealistic. I leave home at 6:50 a.m. and return at 6:50 p.m. I expend myself working, and then what's left is the exhausted version of me.
Not everyone can do it, that's true. I know I couldn't at that time.
Too much to do at home plus studying? Nope.
But some can. And they should be free to persuade both paths.
Knowing when you're projecting on to others
The friend drives me crazy with her thinking!
She does redeem herself.
My mother forwent medical school to get married and have children. I heard about it every. day. of. my. childhood.
You can't have it all. But you can chose. Having option A without sacrificing option B is only possible on paper.
You can work full time and have 20 kids, but that doesn't mean you have it all.
A day has 24 hours and that time is spent either at your job or with your children.
it depends on person to person.... and also situations.... and more over getting married has nothing to do with studies because you don't romance and have sex whole day 😂😂😂😂😂😂 ... now children and studies might clash when children are small..... and people may choose to learn something technical than having a degree course just for the certificate.... 😢😢
So mean to dictate her how she wants or doesn't want to live her life
She couldn't just be excited for her friend 😒
I wonder why they stopped making movies. Julia Stiles and Kirsten Dunst.
ALWAYS take a good opportunity. And NEVER look back. Today, a woman can lose not only a man, but that man can also take her children. If a breakup or divorce occurs. It's the new normal. Get a degree.
When are men asked to choose between a career and finding a wife??? Can people grow up and realize that women and men are multifaceted and can pursue all their goals if they want?
Basically, she was coerced by two egoistic women. One is her teacher, thinking that she must apply to law school just because she's very good at law. Another is her friend, marriage is everything. As a woman, she should choose whatever it is, her own choice.
Whatever it takes true blue 💙
What movie is this, please?
It’s Mona Lisa Smile.
Julia's acting is superior to Kirsten's here. Her inflections and mannerisms are much more authentic for the time the movie is set. Kirsten could be a girl speaking in the 1980's
Someone is too nosy! Jealous?
This is why I don't want things go back to how things were in this time because she's already set in her mind but there's no law against it and I don't want there to become one
The economy is bad enough and all the technology and methods they discovered what he bother even getting married if you don't want to some women and decide to be single moms on purpose and pay for that for that service
And we don't need any more orphans in the world when people keep saying there are future but they are economy so bad and we can't put them in good orphanages around good people and have enough money to support both them and the people who are taking care of the orphans
Housewife is ghetto unless yout breadwinner makes over 300k
...what movie title was this please??
What’s the name of this movie
Name of movie
Mona Lisa smile
What’s the movie called?
What movie is this?
If he doesn't sport you you'll be better finding someone who dose
A woman can be a wife and career focused but she has kids she needs it give up the career it’s not healthy for kids to be in daycare or with Nannie’s
What's the name of this movie?
Mona Lisa Smile
I'm still disappointed with her ending. Even she herself said that she can do both...
What movie is this please
Mona Lisa Smile 😊
Wats the name of this movie
You guys have to stop looking at the situation through a 2024 lens. Things were much different in the 1950’s.
She is just SOOO jealous! Men don't care, darling! Get yourself a GOOD job that you ENJOY with all your heart and you will flourish!!! And men LOVE❤a wife that SPARKLES and FLOURISHES🎉🎉🎉One that turns heads even when she is 70, like Dolly Parton
Did anyone noticed that Both Julia Stiles and Kirsten Dunst have dimples 😊
Which movie
Movie name?
Worst friend ever 😢
Anyone else getting a lot of Julia Roberts movies recommended by the algorithm lately? She didn’t die or anything, did she?
Movie name please
Mona Lisa smile
After Hidden Figures, looks like the algorithm really wants me to watch this one I guess
Movie?
Why only follow one dream?
I always thought they should play sisters.
You can do both
Only with a supportive partner!
It’s impossible to give 100% to 2 things. You do have to chose what ratio you’ll operate under and what your priorities are.
She is a horrible friend
The clips from this movie has been showing up on my feed a loooot lately.. hmmm
I hope Sunpower and AMC rises with it🤞🍀🚀🚀🚀🌕🌕🌕
Title?
Yes you can a mine is a terrible thing to waste
What's a jurus doctorate program? Lol
Self centered and interest friend.