WOW….this is SO familiar. This is the vibe I got from the majority of the members of my ward: An LDS woman with kids who chooses to get divorced deserves whatever hardship comes her way. On the flip side, my continually lying husband was viewed as “the victim.” And in the middle were our 5 children who deserved NONE of the shame and vitriol dumped upon them by people who should have been helping us. Thankfully, my children saw the hypocrisy for what it was and left the church long before I did. It took me longer to disengage from the mind-meld of the cult I had spent my entire adult life in. Honestly, the hatred we experienced did us all a GIANT favor. We grew as humans and knew we could NEVER be aligned with an organization that makes women and children feel so horrible and ostracized in their biggest time of need.
Me too, except I spent my entire life in the cult. It was not easy to leave, but I'm glad I did. My life is so much better now. Happier and more peaceful. I dated a single man in my area he had a similar experience and he and his children have left the church too
@@learnhope7895 So glad you have found peace and happiness….🥰 two of the things we were promised as faithful members of the church. However, for me….the opposite was given despite my extreme adherence to “gospel principles.” I find I still have to be diligent about turning off the “shame” voice that creeps into my psyche.
@@kellihall4413 Jesus said when speaking of those who were truly his followers " by their fruits you will know them." The Mormon people are beautiful people. The church is a cult .
Same here! Which has made me gun-shy of trying to go to another religions church. My cousin has told me that he went to Calvary Chapel after he left from his position of Stake Mission President, back in the early 80’s. I don’t know. One day I’ll get up the gumption and go find one. But my thought is, aren’t people in general, the same everywhere? I just don’t want to go through that experience EVER again.
So sorry you experienced that. The only thing we can do from here is to share our experiences so that others either don’t join in the first place, or realize that they don’t want to belong to this cult any longer.
Wow! I can totally relate!! Except in my case my ex was gay and left me. I was totally blindsided. Since he knew he was leaving he drained our life savings. And left past due bills. My bishop said the exact same words!! What do you expect me to do? I was totally drowning! I expected a life raft. Instead it felt like he held me under. I was already so devastated! I felt like he finished me off. It’s been 3 1/2 years now. I have left the church. But still daily think about all the awful things the bishop told me. And how I was treated. But grateful it’s helped me open my eyes.
Sadly the misogyny and systemic abuse of women and girls in the Mormon church is massive. I’m a trauma therapist, and I’ve lost track of how many clients I’ve seen over the years who have needed my help to heal from religious abuse from the Mormon church. The Bishops in the Mormon church have absolutely NO training in counseling; they’re merely men in the congregation who have aspirations to move up in the church hierarchy. They have NO BUSINESS counseling ANYBODY. It should be illegal. In the Trauma literature, the failure to respond appropriately and care for and protect the traumatized person causes something called “second” injury. Second injury actually causes even greater harm to the person than the traumatic experience itself. I’m so sorry that Bishop treated you that way. ❤
So many issues in your post. I send support and hope to you. I left the church 43 years ago and am glad I did. Ironically, some scars remain after all that time. Still, I’ve had a much better life than if I had stayed in. You will, too. 😀
Blessings to you… I'm so sorry you went through that… But it seems, it is so hypocritical that when people are in crisis, Mormon faith fails its members! is my fervent prayer that you have found a Bible-based church in the community that patterns itself on the teachings of Jesus, AND Walks the walk… Not just talk to talk… Jesus would be extremely disappointed That another "highly organized" organization professing to be Christians do not "walk the walk!" Jesus's ministry was based solely on bringing people to the Father while at the same time serving others… The Mormon church has completely missed that message! Good for you that your eyes are open now and that you can be "the light" in your own family and to your community! Kudos to you for finding the true path!
@@annlazaroff5388Thank you so much for your comment and kind words. It’s helped me so much! People have told me that it’s because of pride I’ve left the church. Or that I got offended. After reading your comment it makes so much more sense to me why the bishop’s treatment towards me had me so shook up. People have even told me I need therapy to help me not be so offended. It’s understanding I’ve needed all along. Thank you so much for taking the time to write your reply ❤️
This hits home. Same happened to me!! I was divorced, 2 girls to raise alone, working two jobs and going to college.. plus church... I begged for help too. Begged for my Home Teachers to actually care cuz my ex abandon our kids, and no child support. Grandparents were deceased. We had NO ONE, and Bishops were sooo condescending and were real jerks. It was a miserable experience...still not over it, but trying. It made us strong, but also made us feel "less than" and unlovable. Not Christ like behaviors!!!!!
You and no one should have to be that strong when facing the hardships of life. I have had similar degrading and condescending experiences in the church with so called, leaders. It's a corporate business, not a church. We all know that the corporate world is a dog eat dog world. They can try to pretend that it isn't, but the evidence is so stacked and the truth is being brought to the forefront daily. CORRUPT TO THE CORE. 🥸👹🤥
I am sorry 😞 I had same problem ,I needed help as a young man.I was sexual abuse in scouts. The Bishop laughed at us (9 of us scouts)only 2 of us are alive .I had my name removed from my membership Department. It is not THE CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST.
I was in a similar situation. I was never abused myself my friend and what turned out to be multiple other kids were. One of them committed suicide. The church covered it up . They tried contacting me for years as an adult , I thought to get me to come back to church, turns out they were trying to pay me to stay silent.
Thats a cult of religion and control. Not a church of Christ. I pray for you and your healing. And im glad your still here. Thanks for sharing that with us. It cant be easy for you 😢. May god bless and keep you and your family safe. ❤ 🙏
I was in a bishopric with a bishop that was the most compassionate man you would ever want to meet. We lived in a very transient ward with a very income challenged populations. Often in PEC meetings he would comment that the Stake President would often point out that the ward had the highest welfare needs of all the wards in the stake. Then the bishop said, the Stake President then would have to mention that almost every month the Home Teaching and Visiting Teaching assignments were completed at 100% . The welfare, canary, church farm, and DI drive assignments were always filled. The temple assignments were filled as well as the missionary assignments. The bishop then said to the stake president, I would rather give the blessings of resources of the church to these faithful members as they are so willing to serve each other than to withhold the temporal needs. After that, stake president rarely said anything more about the number of food orders or other expenditures. While my family was young and we were growing I had several job losses during seasonal work while finishing my bachelors degree; it took me 14 years to complete while working full time and having a family of four children. Several times I needed help with food orders and some financial assistance. I knew these times were temporary. I’m grateful for the assistance. It did depend on the bishop and their level of compassion to how I felt asking for help.
I lived in Indiana for 10 yrs. I wasn't active and they knew I was in town. They had my membership because I ordered garments. I had an accident and could not work any more until I recover. I sent an email to the bishop asking for help. I needed a job I could do from home if they could pass the word. I wasn't asking for donations even though I was drowning in medical bills. He wrote back saying they 'can't' help me because the church isn't for that... Never a visit. They never attempted to find out who I was and who was asking for help. They never missed sending a Christmas card though 😂. The most unchristian people I ever met. I received help from people that don't worship anything.
This is why it infuriates me when conservatives say we should rely on our churches for charity instead of govt. Then there is a huge amount of judgement from LDS members, and Christians in general, towards poor working families implying it is all their fault that they are struggling. I have encountered this a lot from women who look down on other women who are struggling financially, when in reality all they did was marry a man who makes a lot of money. So they have no reason to feel superior. Ugh.
I am so sorry that you were treated so poorly… Absolutely no excuse! However, I do take exception to your comment about conservatives… I am a conservative, Christian woman, and I would never in my wildest dreams repudiate not only someone who was a member of my church, but a woman with children… Clearly the welfare system has been completely overwhelmed by people who are able-bodied and should be working… It is meant for someone just as you who needs a hand up, Compassion and kindness. I attend a Bible-based, community church Who is aligned with my thinking and we help women and men And certainly children… Without any expectation of anything in return! As it shoul be! So please, do not lump us all in the same basket… It is just this mindset, whether intentional or not, that has this country incredibly divided… We shouldn't be conservatives or Democrats… We should be Americans and we should help those Americans that are less fortunate! Blessings to you and I'm glad you got out of that abusive Relationship and by its very definition, the cult that the Mormon church is
@@stevenharder308 I used to volunteer for them and they do help people, but they should not be relied upon and used by politicians as reason not to fund social programs.
@@vickicali that’s a naive view of government. Every politician paying lip service to it is exploiting both you and the people they claim to be “assisting”. Feeling good about yourself by virtue of holding “compassionate” political opinions is as useful only as a tool of political corruption. Spend less time attending to your own dopamine levels and more time dealing with reality. If you’re an atheist laboring under the delusion that dopamine is all you’ve got, work on making intellectual contact with reality and treat the previous sentence as step 2. For what it’s worth, I’ll try to do the same.
@vicki. And how many stories have we heard from VERY "SUCCESSFUL" exmos whose families could well have afforded to support their higher education, but as students at BYU were not only BEING SENT to "govmt" for help and there being persons whose duty was to"facilitate" their applications right thro while others - many in even greater need - just give up , not knowing how to "work the system"? This is one of the most awful ways this group has exercised, taught, & honed the manipulative entitled mindset that makes MLM, etc so prevalent in this cult-ure. 😢
And she's not alone in this situation. I went through a 4 year nasty divorce, and because he was typical 'squeaky wheel', everyone listened to him, and sided with him (even though I was basically raised in that area). He was able to get me excommunicated, and the presidency even told him all that transpired in the 'private' meetings. I had literally NO help, from anyone. 4 kids, no job, and was told to ignore what was happening and get over any personal issues, and for me to go to a Mormon counselor. And this is incident (excommunication) is the only thing I thank my ex for today.
@@richardbarrow4620 why wasn’t Jesus there when she was being abused? Was Jesus there while my friend was being raped at 14 years old by his youth leader? Was Jesus there when the church tried to cover it up?
I started asking questions between the ages of 9 and 10 and got the same kind of responses, so by age 12 I quit. I'm one of the lucky ones who was able to recognize the malice early in life.
Sweetheart, you are in the wrong church. I shouldn't even use that term, because it's not a church at all, it's really a cult. Their focus is on money. Run away from that, find yourself a good Lutheran, Baptist, Methodist, Presbyterian, 7th Day Adventist, foursquare, any Protestant church that teaches the Bible in its entirety is where you need to be. I'd be inviting you to my church right now if you lived in my town. You will find no support where Jesus does not exist.
@@mrguiltyfool the church that I go to which is the Lutheran Church Missouri Synod, would fall all over themselves to try to help any person, regardless of denomination. That's what Jesus would do.
Mormon friend of ours was married to a man who was a "traveling salesman". He of course had another wife and family out of state, she ultimately found out , after he suddenly died and his account was drained by his other wife!!! My other friend is a single mother with a handicapped child in Utah, who got virtually the exact same attitude and NO HELP from the church for decades, beyond "make sure you pay your 10%!!. This is the position of an organization that is worth well over $120billion
I was 25, had donated time to the cannery and church farm dozens of times, returned missionary, married in the temple, in a new ward and suddenly lost my job. We went to the bishop for help asking for one month of rent and some food and he treated us like lepers. We got the help but were made to feel like we were the scum of the earth for even asking.
I’m SO sorry you had to experience that. I know the feeling well. Little did I know that the corporation was hoarding my money while I was fishing produce out of dumpsters and washing it in bleach so that my kids would have fruits and vegetables in their diet during our difficult times. I was too embarrassed to ask for help even though I had always been a a faithful tithe and fast offering payer….🙄🫣 The SHAME they coercively impose upon those already struggling is REAL. The TRUE shame lands squarely on the leaders taking hard-working people’s money and giving a drop in the bucket in return.
Now, THAT’s real “Christian-like,” isn’t it. Man, way-too-frequently, the most “devout” and those on a higher rung on the religious ladder are the most rotten, horrific people. I am sorry you - or anyone- is kicked while they’re down - that’s a standout sign of those whom the planet could do without. Forward!
I really openly question the church when I was 27 and asked for my first food order. It was super hard to just get a food order. Had I known I would have just gone to a food bank, this came a year before church assets were quoted at 100 billion dollars. It’s so depressing that they’re building 40-50 million dollar temples but then pull the we don’t have a lot of money towards helping or ward budgets.
Thats because your religion is actually a business disguised as a religion to remain tax-free. The poorer Mormons are looked down upon because of their burdon on the ward. Ive listened to richer ward members complain about that very burden. Its NOT a christian religion. And its not Christ based.
Yup. I live in Utah, Salt Lake City. I luckily got out when I was very young. But some of our hiking trails let you look out over the valley. It's absurd when you can see like 14 temples from one point of view. There are members paying tithing and going without God. Meanwhile they are building a 15th temple in the greater salt Lake area just off the freeway. Mormons like Modesty but outwardly display gross opulence
Yes, I agree. It's so sad. I personally don't believe Jesus cares about fancy buildings and $150000 chandeliers in the celestial room. I think he would way rather that money go to feed the poor and needy.
Just about a year and a half ago I left my marriage of 20 yrs. The Bishop told me to go see if Union Gospel Mission can help you, or even try Catholic Charities... That sting, that slap, a religion that you lived all your life is now telling you to go to a different religion to get help. When all this latest media coverage that had come out do to the Ensign Peak fiasco, and the Lori Valo case, there's a part of me that wants to see the MAN MADE church burn to the ground, have every penny stripped from them... All because I didn't want to stay married to an emotionally and mentally and financial abusive wanna be man. He had no priesthood, no authority.
It's normal to want to burn cults to the ground. Once you see how manipulative and abusive they are you can't unsee it. You realize how pervasive it is and how much of your life you lost to a sham. I don't know anybody who left that wasn't beyond furious with the church
I too had a shocking and very sad experience with the Mormon Church. I was recently divorced from a true Dr Jekel and Mr Hyde (and yes he was actually a doctor too). He had been physically and emotionally abusive to our children which was the reason I divorced him. I learned that he had just become a cubscout leader. I knew he was the last person to be leading little children. I had a meeting w a church official and explained the behaviors that were so detrimental. The official laughed at me and did not investigate the situation which could be varified by others who had witnessed the doctors behavior when in his own home. Very dangerous situation that was ignored.
Stereotype much? Double standard anyone? There’s no hatred like (fill in the blank ) hatred. Bigot. Fill in the blank with any other religion or ethnic background and you would be canceled immediately. Don’t believe me? Try it.
Mormons are not Christians. This is not even debatable. Yes the worship an idol they call jesus but its not a Christian religion, and Christians do not laugh at peoples struggles
Seeing the path of hatred, bigotry, hypocrisy, conspiracies, authocracy and inhumanity the US evangelicals have openly taken on all issues during these last 6-7 years has proven this saying to be an almost scientific fact.
After finally escaping a very abusive marriage, my ex husband was a life long Mormon, I moved into an upper middle-class neighborhood. I was treated like absolute garbage and my children were ostracized. I remember being in the chapel after a sacrament meeting and mentioning that I had a degree in social sciences. The relief society president said to my face, "By the way you look I would have never guessed you had an education." These people are the absolute worst. My children suffered with no children being allowed to associate with them. I asked my bishop for help with my children being included in the neighborhood and he said, " No, I'm not going to do that because these families lived here before you and they are comfortable with eachother." These are evil people. My bishop also made a sexual pass at me during a meeting he called me to. We were alone in his office and he put his leg up on the desk, totally exposing his crotch area. He was sitting directly across from me. He also loved to ask me if I had any sins to confess to him.
@etherealoasissanctuary8752 sounds like she's of first nations descent, and Mormons are taught that people with dark skin are cursed and deserve to be treated like subhumans.
@@sleepingwithcats5121FOR YOU. It’s not true for you because you have a different experience. But considering the thousands of videos and hundreds of comments sharing abuse and neglect from the church its obviously VERY TRUE for many other people. How about you learn to empathize with your fellow man instead of invalidating their experiences because it threatens you identity??
@@squeakybb I'm so sorry that you took it that way, I was Only telling of my experience. I'm extremely empathic and kind. Don't write hurtful things , assumptions. Not nice.
Oh I'm so sorry! This exact same thing happened to me and my girls! I was also doing everything I could when my non member husband chose to get a girl friend and we divorced. I went to my bishop for some help with my children. My bishop said to me that if I was doing everything I could my children wouldn't be having a hard time. One of my youngest daughters young women's teacher told her because my ex was not a member, she wouldn't be able to be with him in the hereafter. I've never seen a child cry like she did when she came home. What a terrible person this woman was telling a 12 year something like when her dad had just left her. Leaders and church members are some of the most unkind people. We've never gone back to church and never will.
That is totally not typical of Bishops in the LDS Church! You should have gone to the Stake President or even your Ward Relief Society President. There is so much love and support in our Church.
I was a clerk in the bishopric and these types of things are why I left. I couldn't understand how so much tithing was coming in yet we wouldnt help our members who were in dire need. That's when I realized it wasn't God's church.
That chuckle, the condescension…I remember those things. I was told I committed the bigger sin than my soon-to-be ex-husband because I withheld forgiveness from him for the things he did in and outside our marriage, and if Jesus can forgive then who do I think I am? Bigger than Jesus? 😑 I’m so glad I left. The church AND the husband.
To everyone here whose heart was broken...sucker punched by their Bishop, God bless you! Strive to purge and heal from the trauma you suffered. It feels great to move on from the lie that is the Mormon church. I don't regret my membership of 32 years of devotion, but I'm glad to be out.
Omg… SISTER EIDAN?! She is incredible. I think I know which bishop did this too. He was not very compassionate and expected everyone to be fine just about all the time.
I guess I'm lucky. The ward I'm loosely attached to has been kind to me. I've had 2 .months rent paid, my electric tic bill, when I out of work and no paycheck while on medical leave, they got me food from the Bishops warehouse. I'm extremely inactive and while I'm grateful for the help, I don't feel a need to get any closer than I am. I attend church occasionally but never Sacrament. Mostly just RS activities and the occasional holiday or funeral.
@@cynthiabennion9663 Well it's a long project, this has been over a span of years. I only ever talk to three sisters and an Elder. Once in a while the bishop.
Talk is amazingly cheap. Many "leaders" and self-proclaimed "Christians" talk a good game, but when push comes to shove, their obvious theme is, "When life is hard and you want to quit, don't tell me . . . I don't give a $hit."
@@nancyr8987 I help everyone every chance I get . I'm saying if these so called servants of God are so callous and judgemental, the lady needs to go elsewhere. The Mormon church is filthy rich . They could have helped her.
My then-wife and I bought our first house and moved into a giant suburban Utah ward. It was the fakest environment ever so we finally stopped going. After 3 months of innactivity, my wife and I separated. Not even a week later the bishop asks if I can cover on organ, which isn't unusual. "Not really, we separated and I'm in a different city & congregation. But I would like to talk about what the divorce process looks like." "Sorry to hear that, ask your new bishop." Haven't heard from him or anyone else in that ward since.
I was treated differently because I was married to a non member and got divorced. If I had continued to be a member I know it would have never gotten better. I left very broken
Well part of that problem is the Bishop, as All mormon clergy are not professionals. They have real jobs, and ZERO training at being a counsellor etc., my Bishop was a Dentist… The stake president was a Lawyer….
Same problem I had. My husband divorced me after 25 years, and received no surprise. Went 3 years without a home teacher to visit, broke my leg, and no help from the church. I left the church after 30 years.
I hear what you're saying. Went through something like this myself. The Bishop and leaders are human beings.. imperfect. So I took it to a higher calling. I took it to God. Instead of going to Sacrament meetings, I went to the Temple once a month, prayed and read my scriptures and did service work. So after about a year and half I went back to church. I worked on myself with the help of our Savior and things are a whole lot better...not perfect but better. Blessings comes at all different times. Yea your Bishop was wrong and home teachers don't always work, but its you who had to do the work. Set goals, pray about it and take it to father...Never give up!
I had never ask anyone for help. I use to leave work to pick up my companion to do our visiting teaching. It was never all done in one day. Paid tithing and had other jobs in the church too. My husband, a nonmember, had done flooring work for our ward. That included getting the carpet on his dime. The time came we desperately needed help for our son. After looking at every alternative I went to my bishop as instructed by others but was denied any help. My husband and I paid for 2 years. Mind you I was retired and my husband was in his seventies. He will be 80 next month and is still working.
I am a Filipino Latter-Day Saint in ths Philippines. This is so shocking since I haven't heard of bishops or any church members do this kind of things (if there be any then it is rare). Our Bishops also have weaknesses here and there but never heard stories about Bishops laughing and being insensitive to others. This is so sad
This sort of thing happened to me years ago. It took years of prayer, going to that bishop more than once and expressing my complaints. The Stake President did intervene for me and that bishop was reprimanded. He became a more compassionate bishop for those who came after me and the Lord answered my prayers. I never once doubted the Gospel is true and I never bad-mouth the Church or it's imperfect people. Stay faithful, continue on your covenant path and you too will have Treasures of heaven right here while you live. AND your children will call me you blessed. I know, I've lived it. The TRUTH IS IN CHRIST.
Never-Mo here. I wonder if this bishop’s reaction was encouraged with pressure from his supervisors, whoever they are. Are wards required to report their financial statements regularly to an office representing a higher level of organization? If so, does anyone at that level encourage wards to keep growing their income? Do they frown on and/or scrutinize expenditures? Now that it’s clear the religion is run like a corporation, it’s obvious that the bishops are the middle managers. A good organization wouldn’t put in place middle managers that go against what it wants. More information is needed, but this anecdote hints that the bishop’s superiors want him to clamp down on any hint of spending on self-identified members in need. She said she only asked that she be visited as usual. She didn’t outright ask for money. But he laughed at her before she specified what she needed. I would be curious to hear from any ex-bishops, or are they too well compensated and/or NDA’ed to come out as ex-Mos?
2 years ago, I was in the hospital with Covid pneumonia and my Bishop sent me a text for tithing settlement. I told him I was in the hospital and that was the last thing on my mind as I was trying to stay alive. He told me would let the Relief Society President know……crickets! Like you, I was concerned about my family, keeping them fed and checking on them as it was touch & go for a bit while I was recovering…….absolutely NOTHING! My daughter in law was sending food from another state and that was all we had. The flower arrangement she sent me ended up being our only Christmas decoration besides a small poinsettia my mother in law gave us. Presents didn’t get wrapped, what little I had purchased prior to getting sick. Not at all I would have expected from the Ward 👎🏼
My papa was sick thought he was dying in 2009 He recovered after several months He was an active member of the catholic church in town and entire community I repeatedley asked church members to visit and pray with him say good bye No one came the priest convinced everyone it was time to give to the church and do church duties for gods mercy for my fathers peace and the priest sent out letters asking us to cut a check for the missing donations When papa recovered and asked all his friends and church fellows why none of them visited or called They all realized the priest suckered them into labor duties and donating Papa never spoke to that priest again and majority of members left I think the only remaining were young new members to the community I am just shocked what i have been learning of the lds Religion is not what was written anymore I hope this woman is living better life
It’s not the church, it’s the people. People are too busy with their own lives. They are not perfect. My friend and I both went through the same things when our kids were little. We were both single parents. The Gospel is true, people are imperfect.
I had to have another brain surgery, and I went in crying from all the stress.. and I have adrenal disease so stress makes me ill... he told me I needed to do charity for others and stop just thinking of myself.. I had already started leaving but the church no one in it helped me.. they would say if I needed anything they would help... nothing.. no one.. my heart breaks for you I know that feeling even if our flights are different.. I so get it, hang in there.
The church helped me and my kids for 10 yrs. Pd two car notes until I cld get on my feet. If true,this bishop shld be removed. I cldnt make it to church because I live too far and they still helped me. Hard to believe.
What that bishop did was completely out of line and wrong. He was suppose to help those in need. The leadership in the church has become worse. Those are the ones who need to be removed.
Not what I experienced. I felt love and support, as did a single, divorced woman with five children. She was helped and supported, financially, friendship, she was able to go to school, a car was provided for her, etc
And? Thats YOUR experience. Just because tour experience was different doesn’t overwrite THIS WOMANS experience. This was a very uncompassionate comment to leave on a video of someone sharing their pain and trauma. Not Christ like in the slightest. Thank you for being a great representation of the lack of self awareness in the Mormon church
It makes me extremely sad that most of my family members are Mormon. It genuinely breaks my heart to the core. A lot of them are reincforced, by the church, in their bad behavior and attitudes towards each other and I think it’s sad that nobody looks at me the same since knowing I don’t believe what they believe. They assume that I’m a bad person because I’m not at church and I listen to metal and blah blah blah. But I’ve never hurt any of them, never mocked their religion in front of them, never said anything hateful towards them yet I receive all of these things from them. Their inability to look in the mirror is amazing and shocking. I really hope their eyes will open some day but idk what to do to help with that. They won’t listen, they’re so deeply indoctrinated.
In my experience those quickest and loudest to point fingers and judge others are the ones that are the most ignorant about themselves and their behavior. My mom treated me very poorly because I left the church, so I get it man. I hope you have a good community and support system around you ❤
@@squeakybb first things first thank you for making this comment. You didn’t have to at all but you still did and I really do appreciate it from the bottom of my heart🙏❤️ secondly, I know a lot of my family members are hurting and they haven’t been taught how to deal with things properly so judgement and hatred towards others seems to be how they cope. But I agree about their ignorance and it almost seems willful on their part, as in they don’t want to know what’s true or whatever they want to stay in their protected bubble. Which I can totally understand but sometimes it’s just frustrating. I don’t have a super large community but I do have my core people that are amazing and hopefully will find more along the way. But same to you! I hope you got a good batch of people that feel like home and that you are safe around. Genuinely, I’m wishing you the best🤘🤘🙏
That's tough, unfortunately almost all resources funnel up in the church. We could use the church buildings as daycares at affordable prices but what do I know other than if the church was true it would seek doing better.
I had ten bishops during the eight years that I was a Mormon. Only four were duds, which I thought was wonderful, considering that they were unpaid, nonprofessional clergy. I didn’t leave because of the people but because I learned the teachings in my classes at BYU. ❤
This young woman is so articulate and my heart is so pained That she was treated so poorly! The bottom line is the Mormon church is a cult by definition; brainwashing starts very early in this church and it all can be traced back to "the money." These people WILL have to answer to the Almighty for their terrible treatment of people like this young woman and her children… If anyone that reads this is a member of the Mormon church… This young woman is NOT the exception! You need to do a serious review of where you're Placing you and your families eternal future! Blessings to this young woman and it is my fervent prayer that she has found a Bible-based church who's calling it is to worship Jesus Christ and "walk the walk" and actually serve others… Something Jesus himself did over and over again to the least of society… He treated them with love and respect no matter what socioeconomic status they had… That truly meant nothing to him! I invite any Mormon member, and especially the bishopric, to challenge my assessment… And, I will not entertain anything from the book of Mormon which is blasphemy... The Bible is the word of God and should be the only written source from which People and organizations professing to be Christians, base their actions
Nice hyperbole...Would you care to constructively discuss, or do you just armchair critique? Btw, I find it interesting that people hide behind a moniker… very easy way to avoid accountability.,,,
I can relate. My husband was murdered and because I was now single my home teachers stopped coming over and no one came from the ward. Not a gospel of love.
There are 18,000 Mormon bishops in America. Don't judge them all by this one's behavior. When my parents died I asked the church they'd attended to for 20 years for help burying them. I received no help or further condolences. I know church people who are wonderful.
it's up to the individual. the church itself isn't good. it's not judging them all by one's behavior if you admit that they are flawed, untrained men who aren't always going to help you, nor are they inspired by god.
If you know good church people it's because they are good people. They would be good people without the church. If anything, they are good people DESPITE the horrible church they are a part of. Good people are good, period. If the only thing making a person behave good is some religion making eternal threats...then I hate to break it to you that's actually not a truly good person 😂
@@amenenema474 you don't have a clue. I've known and seen so many people who were selfish monsters until they found God. Even former hedonist drug addict Russell Brandt found God to be essential to his good mental health. In the Army we knew there were no atheists in a foxhole.
I'm so sorry this happened. I received so much support and love from my Ward when I divorced and returned to my hometown. You should have received the help , you weren't asking for outlandish assistance.
This is exactly how I've felt the entire time. Only the ones who truly love God and Jesus can see me but no one helped me. They never show up now. When I first joined they did.
When i fled to a new state barely alive from Domestic violence and went to my new bishop for guidence and help. He asked if my abuser who i had a restraining order on knew where we were. I said that i hoped not we are hiding. He lectured me how i must have deserved disciplined and a man has his reasons its not my place to question but obey. I was a failure as a parent as a child of god. That i was abusing my son not having a father in his life. Promised to contact my abuser to tell him where we were and i will be submissive and obedient. I ran from the church still haven't taken the same way home twice. Only leave in absolutely need to. We hide and i replay the mouth piece of God telling me i deserved it and he was sending our abuser to our door
You aren’t the only one ... my wife stopped going to church first ... when she left I still had 5 of our 6 daughters living with me ... going to church on my own ... until I finally gave up
Meanwhile I could never get my ward to leave me the hell alone because I needed to be fixed. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, the worst part about Mormon culture is the lack of boundaries.
These exact words --> ALL women in the Mormon church feel! Including all levels of activity. It’s impossible to practice Mormonism as a single parent. When everything crumbles leaders sit there with a stunned look on their face. Survival mode comes first for all human beings & if these needs aren’t being met people find a new tribe.
Maybe I'm naive but i was the child of a divorced faithful women, my dad was a non-member, and we rarely got help and my mom rarely asked ever. My mom died at age 76 while living with me. She was a former RS President in this ward and it was all we could do to round up some Priesthood authority to consecrate her grave. I could never rely on the Priesthood as a young woman. It's surprising I lasted as long as I did in that ridiculous cutl.
I feel sad that this happened to her. And it DOES happen. Unfortunately, it is common. Just wrong of the church leaders...who are representatives of the church! Shameful! I am single with no kids, but count myself lucky as I have fellow members who are friends that I can call on for all types of support.
Fundamentalist religions suck. The Christian homeschool group treated me and my kids the same when I divorced. Best decision of my life and frankly I'm glad they ghosted me because in the end my kids and I are stronger for it. It still hurts like hell to lose those "friends" whom I thought I could count on.
They are just human. Some people are jerks or they judge.. including Bishops. Or maybe he just didn’t understand. Unfortunately God himself wasn’t in that office
Watch the entire episode! ruclips.net/video/-bjoN15ZKBY/видео.html
WOW….this is SO familiar. This is the vibe I got from the majority of the members of my ward: An LDS woman with kids who chooses to get divorced deserves whatever hardship comes her way. On the flip side, my continually lying husband was viewed as “the victim.” And in the middle were our 5 children who deserved NONE of the shame and vitriol dumped upon them by people who should have been helping us. Thankfully, my children saw the hypocrisy for what it was and left the church long before I did. It took me longer to disengage from the mind-meld of the cult I had spent my entire adult life in. Honestly, the hatred we experienced did us all a GIANT favor. We grew as humans and knew we could NEVER be aligned with an organization that makes women and children feel so horrible and ostracized in their biggest time of need.
Me too, except I spent my entire life in the cult. It was not easy to leave, but I'm glad I did. My life is so much better now. Happier and more peaceful. I dated a single man in my area he had a similar experience and he and his children have left the church too
@@learnhope7895 So glad you have found peace and happiness….🥰 two of the things we were promised as faithful members of the church. However, for me….the opposite was given despite my extreme adherence to “gospel principles.” I find I still have to be diligent about turning off the “shame” voice that creeps into my psyche.
@@kellihall4413 Jesus said when speaking of those who were truly his followers " by their fruits you will know them."
The Mormon people are beautiful people. The church is a cult .
Same here! Which has made me gun-shy of trying to go to another religions church. My cousin has told me that he went to Calvary Chapel after he left from his position of Stake Mission President, back in the early 80’s. I don’t know. One day I’ll get up the gumption and go find one. But my thought is, aren’t people in general, the same everywhere? I just don’t want to go through that experience EVER again.
So sorry you experienced that. The only thing we can do from here is to share our experiences so that others either don’t join in the first place, or realize that they don’t want to belong to this cult any longer.
Wow! I can totally relate!! Except in my case my ex was gay and left me. I was totally blindsided. Since he knew he was leaving he drained our life savings. And left past due bills. My bishop said the exact same words!! What do you expect me to do? I was totally drowning! I expected a life raft. Instead it felt like he held me under. I was already so devastated! I felt like he finished me off. It’s been 3 1/2 years now. I have left the church. But still daily think about all the awful things the bishop told me. And how I was treated. But grateful it’s helped me open my eyes.
Sadly the misogyny and systemic abuse of women and girls in the Mormon church is massive. I’m a trauma therapist, and I’ve lost track of how many clients I’ve seen over the years who have needed my help to heal from religious abuse from the Mormon church. The Bishops in the Mormon church have absolutely NO training in counseling; they’re merely men in the congregation who have aspirations to move up in the church hierarchy. They have NO BUSINESS counseling ANYBODY. It should be illegal.
In the Trauma literature, the failure to respond appropriately and care for and protect the traumatized person causes something called “second” injury. Second injury actually causes even greater harm to the person than the traumatic experience itself. I’m so sorry that Bishop treated you that way. ❤
Might be that circular logic they often employ. When things aren't going well it MUST be something you're doing or not doing or YOUR lack of faith.
So many issues in your post. I send support and hope to you. I left the church 43 years ago and am glad I did. Ironically, some scars remain after all that time. Still, I’ve had a much better life than if I had stayed in. You will, too. 😀
Blessings to you… I'm so sorry you went through that… But it seems, it is so hypocritical that when people are in crisis, Mormon faith fails its members!
is my fervent prayer that you have found a Bible-based church in the community that patterns itself on the teachings of Jesus, AND Walks the walk… Not just talk to talk… Jesus would be extremely disappointed That another "highly organized" organization professing to be Christians do not "walk the walk!"
Jesus's ministry was based solely on bringing people to the Father while at the same time serving others… The Mormon church has completely missed that message! Good for you that your eyes are open now and that you can be "the light" in your own family and to your community! Kudos to you for finding the true path!
@@annlazaroff5388Thank you so much for your comment and kind words. It’s helped me so much! People have told me that it’s because of pride I’ve left the church. Or that I got offended. After reading your comment it makes so much more sense to me why the bishop’s treatment towards me had me so shook up. People have even told me I need therapy to help me not be so offended. It’s understanding I’ve needed all along. Thank you so much for taking the time to write your reply ❤️
This hits home. Same happened to me!! I was divorced, 2 girls to raise alone, working two jobs and going to college.. plus church... I begged for help too. Begged for my Home Teachers to actually care cuz my ex abandon our kids, and no child support. Grandparents were deceased. We had NO ONE, and Bishops were sooo condescending and were real jerks. It was a miserable experience...still not over it, but trying. It made us strong, but also made us feel "less than" and unlovable. Not Christ like behaviors!!!!!
You and no one should have to be that strong when facing the hardships of life. I have had similar degrading and condescending experiences in the church with so called, leaders. It's a corporate business, not a church. We all know that the corporate world is a dog eat dog world. They can try to pretend that it isn't, but the evidence is so stacked and the truth is being brought to the forefront daily.
CORRUPT TO THE CORE.
🥸👹🤥
I am sorry 😞 I had same problem ,I needed help as a young man.I was sexual abuse in scouts. The Bishop laughed at us (9 of us scouts)only 2 of us are alive .I had my name removed from my membership Department. It is not THE CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST.
Sorry to read about your situation with the abuse sending prayers to you thank God you are no longer a member of the church
It is freemason group instead of church.
I was in a similar situation. I was never abused myself my friend and what turned out to be multiple other kids were. One of them committed suicide. The church covered it up . They tried contacting me for years as an adult , I thought to get me to come back to church, turns out they were trying to pay me to stay silent.
Thats a cult of religion and control. Not a church of Christ. I pray for you and your healing. And im glad your still here. Thanks for sharing that with us. It cant be easy for you 😢. May god bless and keep you and your family safe. ❤ 🙏
W0W!! I'm very sorry to read this 😮 I'm attending actively , but I don't tolerate stupid people , in church and anywhere else
I was in a bishopric with a bishop that was the most compassionate man you would ever want to meet. We lived in a very transient ward with a very income challenged populations. Often in PEC meetings he would comment that the Stake President would often point out that the ward had the highest welfare needs of all the wards in the stake. Then the bishop said, the Stake President then would have to mention that almost every month the Home Teaching and Visiting Teaching assignments were completed at 100% . The welfare, canary, church farm, and DI drive assignments were always filled. The temple assignments were filled as well as the missionary assignments.
The bishop then said to the stake president, I would rather give the blessings of resources of the church to these faithful members as they are so willing to serve each other than to withhold the temporal needs.
After that, stake president rarely said anything more about the number of food orders or other expenditures.
While my family was young and we were growing I had several job losses during seasonal work while finishing my bachelors degree; it took me 14 years to complete while working full time and having a family of four children. Several times I needed help with food orders and some financial assistance. I knew these times were temporary. I’m grateful for the assistance.
It did depend on the bishop and their level of compassion to how I felt asking for help.
I lived in Indiana for 10 yrs. I wasn't active and they knew I was in town. They had my membership because I ordered garments. I had an accident and could not work any more until I recover. I sent an email to the bishop asking for help. I needed a job I could do from home if they could pass the word. I wasn't asking for donations even though I was drowning in medical bills. He wrote back saying they 'can't' help me because the church isn't for that... Never a visit. They never attempted to find out who I was and who was asking for help. They never missed sending a Christmas card though 😂. The most unchristian people I ever met. I received help from people that don't worship anything.
This is why it infuriates me when conservatives say we should rely on our churches for charity instead of govt. Then there is a huge amount of judgement from LDS members, and Christians in general, towards poor working families implying it is all their fault that they are struggling. I have encountered this a lot from women who look down on other women who are struggling financially, when in reality all they did was marry a man who makes a lot of money. So they have no reason to feel superior. Ugh.
I am so sorry that you were treated so poorly… Absolutely no excuse! However, I do take exception to your comment about conservatives… I am a conservative, Christian woman, and I would never in my wildest dreams repudiate not only someone who was a member of my church, but a woman with children… Clearly the welfare system has been completely overwhelmed by people who are able-bodied and should be working… It is meant for someone just as you who needs a hand up, Compassion and kindness. I attend a Bible-based, community church Who is aligned with my thinking and we help women and men And certainly children… Without any expectation of anything in return! As it shoul be!
So please, do not lump us all in the same basket… It is just this mindset, whether intentional or not, that has this country incredibly divided… We shouldn't be conservatives or Democrats… We should be Americans and we should help those Americans that are less fortunate! Blessings to you and I'm glad you got out of that abusive Relationship and by its very definition, the cult that the Mormon church is
Catholic charities aren’t like that at all.
@@stevenharder308 I used to volunteer for them and they do help people, but they should not be relied upon and used by politicians as reason not to fund social programs.
@@vickicali that’s a naive view of government. Every politician paying lip service to it is exploiting both you and the people they claim to be “assisting”. Feeling good about yourself by virtue of holding “compassionate” political opinions is as useful only as a tool of political corruption. Spend less time attending to your own dopamine levels and more time dealing with reality. If you’re an atheist laboring under the delusion that dopamine is all you’ve got, work on making intellectual contact with reality and treat the previous sentence as step 2. For what it’s worth, I’ll try to do the same.
@vicki. And how many stories have we heard from VERY "SUCCESSFUL" exmos whose families could well have afforded to support their higher education, but as students at BYU were not only BEING SENT to "govmt" for help and there being persons whose duty was to"facilitate" their applications right thro while others - many in even greater need - just give up , not knowing how to "work the system"? This is one of the most awful ways this group has exercised, taught, & honed the manipulative entitled mindset that makes MLM, etc so prevalent in this cult-ure. 😢
And she's not alone in this situation.
I went through a 4 year nasty divorce, and because he was typical 'squeaky wheel', everyone listened to him, and sided with him (even though I was basically raised in that area). He was able to get me excommunicated, and the presidency even told him all that transpired in the 'private' meetings. I had literally NO help, from anyone. 4 kids, no job, and was told to ignore what was happening and get over any personal issues, and for me to go to a Mormon counselor.
And this is incident (excommunication) is the only thing I thank my ex for today.
I am so sorry. Please believe Jesus Christ is there for you and your children, even if your Bishop and ward members are not.
Typical
@@richardbarrow4620 why wasn’t Jesus there when she was being abused? Was Jesus there while my friend was being raped at 14 years old by his youth leader? Was Jesus there when the church tried to cover it up?
I started asking questions between the ages of 9 and 10 and got the same kind of responses, so by age 12 I quit. I'm one of the lucky ones who was able to recognize the malice early in life.
Church should be one of the best resources for single mothers. Regardless of denomination or faith. This behavior is abhorrent.
Sweetheart, you are in the wrong church. I shouldn't even use that term, because it's not a church at all, it's really a cult. Their focus is on money. Run away from that, find yourself a good Lutheran, Baptist, Methodist, Presbyterian, 7th Day Adventist, foursquare, any Protestant church that teaches the Bible in its entirety is where you need to be. I'd be inviting you to my church right now if you lived in my town. You will find no support where Jesus does not exist.
Let's be realistic when you are down how many ppl you think will have the ability and want to help you?
@@mrguiltyfool the church that I go to which is the Lutheran Church Missouri Synod, would fall all over themselves to try to help any person, regardless of denomination. That's what Jesus would do.
@@doctorquestian you don't truly know the ppl around you until you are down.
Ya... the church has no idea how to deal with single adults who never find spouses or single mothers... very sad but true.
Mormon friend of ours was married to a man who was a "traveling salesman". He of course had another wife and family out of state, she ultimately found out , after he suddenly died and his account was drained by his other wife!!! My other friend is a single mother with a handicapped child in Utah, who got virtually the exact same attitude and NO HELP from the church for decades, beyond "make sure you pay your 10%!!. This is the position of an organization that is worth well over $120billion
I was 25, had donated time to the cannery and church farm dozens of times, returned missionary, married in the temple, in a new ward and suddenly lost my job. We went to the bishop for help asking for one month of rent and some food and he treated us like lepers. We got the help but were made to feel like we were the scum of the earth for even asking.
I’m SO sorry you had to experience that. I know the feeling well. Little did I know that the corporation was hoarding my money while I was fishing produce out of dumpsters and washing it in bleach so that my kids would have fruits and vegetables in their diet during our difficult times. I was too embarrassed to ask for help even though I had always been a a faithful tithe and fast offering payer….🙄🫣 The SHAME they coercively impose upon those already struggling is REAL. The TRUE shame lands squarely on the leaders taking hard-working people’s money and giving a drop in the bucket in return.
Now, THAT’s real “Christian-like,” isn’t it.
Man, way-too-frequently, the most “devout” and those on a higher rung on the religious ladder are the most rotten, horrific people.
I am sorry you - or anyone- is kicked while they’re down - that’s a standout sign of those whom the planet could do without.
Forward!
Thanks for sharing 😢 same experience
Every bishop I had wherever we moved with the military every 2 years for 20 years, had this same prideful narcissist attitude.
All while "the only true church" is hoarding millions of dollars of tithing contributions. And using it to build shopping malls, etc.
I really openly question the church when I was 27 and asked for my first food order. It was super hard to just get a food order. Had I known I would have just gone to a food bank, this came a year before church assets were quoted at 100 billion dollars. It’s so depressing that they’re building 40-50 million dollar temples but then pull the we don’t have a lot of money towards helping or ward budgets.
Thats because your religion is actually a business disguised as a religion to remain tax-free. The poorer Mormons are looked down upon because of their burdon on the ward. Ive listened to richer ward members complain about that very burden. Its NOT a christian religion. And its not Christ based.
Yup. I live in Utah, Salt Lake City. I luckily got out when I was very young. But some of our hiking trails let you look out over the valley. It's absurd when you can see like 14 temples from one point of view. There are members paying tithing and going without God. Meanwhile they are building a 15th temple in the greater salt Lake area just off the freeway. Mormons like Modesty but outwardly display gross opulence
Yes, I agree. It's so sad. I personally don't believe Jesus cares about fancy buildings and $150000 chandeliers in the celestial room. I think he would way rather that money go to feed the poor and needy.
@@keepinitreal938 maybe go read the Bible and think about how expensive the Tabernacle and Solomons Temples were…
@@Kyle68655Solomon isn't the best role model tho
Just about a year and a half ago I left my marriage of 20 yrs. The Bishop told me to go see if Union Gospel Mission can help you, or even try Catholic Charities...
That sting, that slap, a religion that you lived all your life is now telling you to go to a different religion to get help.
When all this latest media coverage that had come out do to the Ensign Peak fiasco, and the Lori Valo case, there's a part of me that wants to see the MAN MADE church burn to the ground, have every penny stripped from them...
All because I didn't want to stay married to an emotionally and mentally and financial abusive wanna be man. He had no priesthood, no authority.
Absolutely unacceptable!!
It's normal to want to burn cults to the ground. Once you see how manipulative and abusive they are you can't unsee it. You realize how pervasive it is and how much of your life you lost to a sham. I don't know anybody who left that wasn't beyond furious with the church
No man has Preisthood or Authority within the Mormon church.
I too had a shocking and very sad experience with the Mormon Church. I was recently divorced from a true Dr Jekel and Mr Hyde (and yes he was actually a doctor too). He had been physically and emotionally abusive to our children which was the reason I divorced him. I learned that he had just become a cubscout leader. I knew he was the last person to be leading little children. I had a meeting w a church official and explained the behaviors that were so detrimental. The official laughed at me and did not investigate the situation which could be varified by others who had witnessed the doctors behavior when in his own home. Very dangerous situation that was ignored.
There's no hatred like Christian love.
True Christians don't act like that and I know it. I try to tell people that all the time but that's a great!
Stereotype much? Double standard anyone? There’s no hatred like (fill in the blank ) hatred. Bigot. Fill in the blank with any other religion or ethnic background and you would be canceled immediately. Don’t believe me? Try it.
@@angelcox6136 That is a no true scotsman fallacy, real Christians are perfectly capable of being terrible people
Mormons are not Christians. This is not even debatable. Yes the worship an idol they call jesus but its not a Christian religion, and Christians do not laugh at peoples struggles
Seeing the path of hatred, bigotry, hypocrisy, conspiracies, authocracy and inhumanity the US evangelicals have openly taken on all issues during these last 6-7 years has proven this saying to be an almost scientific fact.
I love her way of conveying her feelings and thoughts, that analogy was awesome! I hope she was rescued
After finally escaping a very abusive marriage, my ex husband was a life long Mormon, I moved into an upper middle-class neighborhood. I was treated like absolute garbage and my children were ostracized. I remember being in the chapel after a sacrament meeting and mentioning that I had a degree in social sciences. The relief society president said to my face, "By the way you look I would have never guessed you had an education." These people are the absolute worst. My children suffered with no children being allowed to associate with them. I asked my bishop for help with my children being included in the neighborhood and he said, " No, I'm not going to do that because these families lived here before you and they are comfortable with eachother." These are evil people. My bishop also made a sexual pass at me during a meeting he called me to. We were alone in his office and he put his leg up on the desk, totally exposing his crotch area. He was sitting directly across from me. He also loved to ask me if I had any sins to confess to him.
😂😂😂😂 don't start it lol 😢
He was just 🔥
@@coachlindacharityshow I don't understand your comment… Please elaborate… Are you mocking this person?
@andreagabel5589 , yes, she is.
Disgusting behavior.
@etherealoasissanctuary8752 sounds like she's of first nations descent, and Mormons are taught that people with dark skin are cursed and deserve to be treated like subhumans.
As a non Mormon, my experience is that the Mormon community takes extraordinary care of each other. That is until you make a mistake.
Not true.
They sometimes do. But other times don't
@@sleepingwithcats5121FOR YOU. It’s not true for you because you have a different experience. But considering the thousands of videos and hundreds of comments sharing abuse and neglect from the church its obviously VERY TRUE for many other people. How about you learn to empathize with your fellow man instead of invalidating their experiences because it threatens you identity??
@@squeakybb I'm so sorry that you took it that way, I was Only telling of my experience. I'm extremely empathic and kind. Don't write hurtful things , assumptions. Not nice.
Yep. The ward will be setting up the ex on dates and shunning the wife that divorced him for good reason. So common.
So misogynistic. Too much psych warfare and human rights abuses. Many blessings of a nurturing nature.
What she is describing is literally why ministering or home visits were encouraged to begin with.
It's really sad cause my LDS church is not like this its sad bro. Couldve been such a different experience had that bishop showed empathy and support.
Unfortunately too many bishops are like this. The empathetic ones seems to be few and far inbetween.
Oh I'm so sorry! This exact same thing happened to me and my girls! I was also doing everything I could when my non member husband chose to get a girl friend and we divorced. I went to my bishop for some help with my children. My bishop said to me that if I was doing everything I could my children wouldn't be having a hard time. One of my youngest daughters young women's teacher told her because my ex was not a member, she wouldn't be able to be with him in the hereafter. I've never seen a child cry like she did when she came home. What a terrible person this woman was telling a 12 year something like when her dad had just left her.
Leaders and church members are some of the most unkind people. We've never gone back to church and never will.
That is totally not typical of Bishops in the LDS Church! You should have gone to the Stake President or even your Ward Relief Society President. There is so much love and support in our Church.
it is typical. it happens just as frequently as bishops who actually care, if not more.
@@chlyri I have been a member for 50 years and nothing like this has ever happened to me or anyone I know. So, no, it is definitely not typical.
I was a clerk in the bishopric and these types of things are why I left. I couldn't understand how so much tithing was coming in yet we wouldnt help our members who were in dire need. That's when I realized it wasn't God's church.
I’ve heard this all too often. Women, especially divorced women, are second class citizens in the Mormon church ☹️
That chuckle, the condescension…I remember those things. I was told I committed the bigger sin than my soon-to-be ex-husband because I withheld forgiveness from him for the things he did in and outside our marriage, and if Jesus can forgive then who do I think I am? Bigger than Jesus? 😑 I’m so glad I left. The church AND the husband.
Here in Venezuela is more of the same as You said. I've just walked away from chruch. I am happier now😊
To everyone here whose heart was broken...sucker punched by their Bishop, God bless you! Strive to purge and heal from the trauma you suffered. It feels great to move on from the lie that is the Mormon church. I don't regret my membership of 32 years of devotion, but I'm glad to be out.
Omg… SISTER EIDAN?! She is incredible. I think I know which bishop did this too. He was not very compassionate and expected everyone to be fine just about all the time.
I guess I'm lucky. The ward I'm loosely attached to has been kind to me. I've had 2 .months rent paid, my electric tic bill, when I out of work and no paycheck while on medical leave, they got me food from the Bishops warehouse. I'm extremely inactive and while I'm grateful for the help, I don't feel a need to get any closer than I am. I attend church occasionally but never Sacrament. Mostly just RS activities and the occasional holiday or funeral.
Sounds like they're trying to reactivate you.
Sounds like they're trying to reactivate you.
@@cynthiabennion9663 Well it's a long project, this has been over a span of years. I only ever talk to three sisters and an Elder. Once in a while the bishop.
Talk is amazingly cheap. Many "leaders" and self-proclaimed "Christians" talk a good game, but when push comes to shove, their obvious theme is, "When life is hard and you want to quit, don't tell me . . . I don't give a $hit."
Same with me but I married members. They have no idea what to do because they don’t have discernment.
Unfortunately these are not isolated incidents this seems to be the Standard reaction to This kind of problems
This is the behavior of a CULT!!
You are in the wrong place !
Get out quickly
Shame on you! If you have time to complain, why don’t you use that time to help the needy.
@@nancyr8987 I help everyone every chance I get . I'm saying if these so called servants of God are so callous and judgemental, the lady needs to go elsewhere. The Mormon church is filthy rich . They could have helped her.
@@nancyr8987 BTW I'm not complaining. Simply stating facts .
@@nancyr8987 Like how all of the members helped this woman? She really needed that help
Because it's a cult!!
Bishop roulette
Exactly true and it’s a shame!
I hope that means you walked away from that church and left the misogyny and bigotry behind
I find the problem isn't the gospel, it's the people running and participating in it.
He was saying, just take the antidepressants that we pass out freely to all Utah wives.
My then-wife and I bought our first house and moved into a giant suburban Utah ward. It was the fakest environment ever so we finally stopped going.
After 3 months of innactivity, my wife and I separated. Not even a week later the bishop asks if I can cover on organ, which isn't unusual. "Not really, we separated and I'm in a different city & congregation. But I would like to talk about what the divorce process looks like."
"Sorry to hear that, ask your new bishop." Haven't heard from him or anyone else in that ward since.
I was treated differently because I was married to a non member and got divorced. If I had continued to be a member I know it would have never gotten better. I left very broken
Well part of that problem is the Bishop, as All mormon clergy are not professionals. They have real jobs, and ZERO training at being a counsellor etc., my Bishop was a Dentist… The stake president was a Lawyer….
I’m so sorry! I was in a similar situation. I understand.
You can't count on anyone. Just help yourself.
Same problem I had. My husband divorced me after 25 years, and received no surprise. Went 3 years without a home teacher to visit, broke my leg, and no help from the church. I left the church after 30 years.
I hear what you're saying. Went through something like this myself. The Bishop and leaders are human beings.. imperfect. So I took it to a higher calling. I took it to God. Instead of going to Sacrament meetings, I went to the Temple once a month, prayed and read my scriptures and did service work. So after about a year and half I went back to church. I worked on myself with the help of our Savior and things are a whole lot better...not perfect but better. Blessings comes at all different times. Yea your Bishop was wrong and home teachers don't always work, but its you who had to do the work. Set goals, pray about it and take it to father...Never give up!
Sounds just like my experience... I can relate- ❤
Sounds pretty typical - not only for Mormons but for most religious groups .
I had never ask anyone for help. I use to leave work to pick up my companion to do our visiting teaching. It was never all done in one day. Paid tithing and had other jobs in the church too. My husband, a nonmember, had done flooring work for our ward. That included getting the carpet on his dime. The time came we desperately needed help for our son. After looking at every alternative I went to my bishop as instructed by others but was denied any help. My husband and I paid for 2 years. Mind you I was retired and my husband was in his seventies. He will be 80 next month and is still working.
I'm sorry that happened. These bishops need better training in empathy and how to respond to people asking for help.
I am a Filipino Latter-Day Saint in ths Philippines. This is so shocking since I haven't heard of bishops or any church members do this kind of things (if there be any then it is rare). Our Bishops also have weaknesses here and there but never heard stories about Bishops laughing and being insensitive to others. This is so sad
I'm so sorry you had that experience. Not everyone is like that.
This sort of thing happened to me years ago. It took years of prayer, going to that bishop more than once and expressing my complaints. The Stake President did intervene for me and that bishop was reprimanded. He became a more compassionate bishop for those who came after me and the Lord answered my prayers. I never once doubted the Gospel is true and I never bad-mouth the Church or it's imperfect people.
Stay faithful, continue on your covenant path and you too will have Treasures of heaven right here while you live. AND your children will call me you blessed. I know, I've lived it. The TRUTH IS IN CHRIST.
Yes! The truth is in Christ not men or an organized religion!
Only took years for the temple-worthy man ordained to act on behalf of god to become a decent human being. Phew thank goodness for the church
Never-Mo here. I wonder if this bishop’s reaction was encouraged with pressure from his supervisors, whoever they are.
Are wards required to report their financial statements regularly to an office representing a higher level of organization? If so, does anyone at that level encourage wards to keep growing their income? Do they frown on and/or scrutinize expenditures?
Now that it’s clear the religion is run like a corporation, it’s obvious that the bishops are the middle managers. A good organization wouldn’t put in place middle managers that go against what it wants.
More information is needed, but this anecdote hints that the bishop’s superiors want him to clamp down on any hint of spending on self-identified members in need.
She said she only asked that she be visited as usual. She didn’t outright ask for money. But he laughed at her before she specified what she needed.
I would be curious to hear from any ex-bishops, or are they too well compensated and/or NDA’ed to come out as ex-Mos?
2 years ago, I was in the hospital with Covid pneumonia and my Bishop sent me a text for tithing settlement. I told him I was in the hospital and that was the last thing on my mind as I was trying to stay alive. He told me would let the Relief Society President know……crickets! Like you, I was concerned about my family, keeping them fed and checking on them as it was touch & go for a bit while I was recovering…….absolutely NOTHING! My daughter in law was sending food from another state and that was all we had. The flower arrangement she sent me ended up being our only Christmas decoration besides a small poinsettia my mother in law gave us. Presents didn’t get wrapped, what little I had purchased prior to getting sick. Not at all I would have expected from the Ward 👎🏼
My papa was sick thought he was dying in 2009
He recovered after several months
He was an active member of the catholic church in town and entire community
I repeatedley asked church members to visit and pray with him say good bye
No one came the priest convinced everyone it was time to give to the church and do church duties for gods mercy for my fathers peace and the priest sent out letters asking us to cut a check for the missing donations
When papa recovered and asked all his friends and church fellows why none of them visited or called
They all realized the priest suckered them into labor duties and donating
Papa never spoke to that priest again and majority of members left
I think the only remaining were young new members to the community
I am just shocked what i have been learning of the lds
Religion is not what was written anymore
I hope this woman is living better life
That's why I stepped out of the church
I was told almost the same thing. Oh, and that I needed to pray more.
It’s not the church, it’s the people. People are too busy with their own lives. They are not perfect. My friend and I both went through the same things when our kids were little. We were both single parents. The Gospel is true, people are imperfect.
The church is the people.
The “Gospel” is Freemasonry mangled with Kabbalah and Christianity. Yikes, friend. The founders of Mormonism were ALL Freemasons.
I will never ever reach out to the church for anything ever again
Why I'm 😂
I had to have another brain surgery, and I went in crying from all the stress.. and I have adrenal disease so stress makes me ill... he told me I needed to do charity for others and stop just thinking of myself.. I had already started leaving but the church no one in it helped me.. they would say if I needed anything they would help... nothing.. no one.. my heart breaks for you I know that feeling even if our flights are different.. I so get it, hang in there.
The church helped me and my kids for 10 yrs. Pd two car notes until I cld get on my feet. If true,this bishop shld be removed.
I cldnt make it to church because I live too far and they still helped me. Hard to believe.
What that bishop did was completely out of line and wrong. He was suppose to help those in need. The leadership in the church has become worse. Those are the ones who need to be removed.
this has always happened, and it was more common in past decades.
Not what I experienced. I felt love and support, as did a single, divorced woman with five children. She was helped and supported, financially, friendship, she was able to go to school, a car was provided for her, etc
And? Thats YOUR experience. Just because tour experience was different doesn’t overwrite THIS WOMANS experience. This was a very uncompassionate comment to leave on a video of someone sharing their pain and trauma. Not Christ like in the slightest. Thank you for being a great representation of the lack of self awareness in the Mormon church
Same , girl, same!
Wow, been there. They dislike single mothers. Exactly why I initially stopped going to church.
It makes me extremely sad that most of my family members are Mormon. It genuinely breaks my heart to the core. A lot of them are reincforced, by the church, in their bad behavior and attitudes towards each other and I think it’s sad that nobody looks at me the same since knowing I don’t believe what they believe. They assume that I’m a bad person because I’m not at church and I listen to metal and blah blah blah. But I’ve never hurt any of them, never mocked their religion in front of them, never said anything hateful towards them yet I receive all of these things from them. Their inability to look in the mirror is amazing and shocking. I really hope their eyes will open some day but idk what to do to help with that. They won’t listen, they’re so deeply indoctrinated.
In my experience those quickest and loudest to point fingers and judge others are the ones that are the most ignorant about themselves and their behavior. My mom treated me very poorly because I left the church, so I get it man. I hope you have a good community and support system around you ❤
@@squeakybb first things first thank you for making this comment. You didn’t have to at all but you still did and I really do appreciate it from the bottom of my heart🙏❤️ secondly, I know a lot of my family members are hurting and they haven’t been taught how to deal with things properly so judgement and hatred towards others seems to be how they cope. But I agree about their ignorance and it almost seems willful on their part, as in they don’t want to know what’s true or whatever they want to stay in their protected bubble. Which I can totally understand but sometimes it’s just frustrating.
I don’t have a super large community but I do have my core people that are amazing and hopefully will find more along the way. But same to you! I hope you got a good batch of people that feel like home and that you are safe around. Genuinely, I’m wishing you the best🤘🤘🙏
Sometimes they are jerks and there are jerks in every religion! I feel for you ! No support hurts a lot . ❤
That's tough, unfortunately almost all resources funnel up in the church. We could use the church buildings as daycares at affordable prices but what do I know other than if the church was true it would seek doing better.
The first answer was to pray God answers.
I had ten bishops during the eight years that I was a Mormon. Only four were duds, which I thought was wonderful, considering that they were unpaid, nonprofessional clergy. I didn’t leave because of the people but because I learned the teachings in my classes at BYU. ❤
This young woman is so articulate and my heart is so pained That she was treated so poorly!
The bottom line is the Mormon church is a cult by definition; brainwashing starts very early in this church and it all can be traced back to "the money." These people WILL have to answer to the Almighty for their terrible treatment of people like this young woman and her children… If anyone that reads this is a member of the Mormon church… This young woman is NOT the exception! You need to do a serious review of where you're Placing you and your families eternal future!
Blessings to this young woman and it is my fervent prayer that she has found a Bible-based church who's calling it is to worship Jesus Christ and "walk the walk" and actually serve others… Something Jesus himself did over and over again to the least of society… He treated them with love and respect no matter what socioeconomic status they had… That truly meant nothing to him!
I invite any Mormon member, and especially the bishopric, to challenge my assessment…
And, I will not entertain anything from the book of Mormon which is blasphemy... The Bible is the word of God and should be the only written source from which People and organizations professing to be Christians, base their actions
Never fails to amuse: a believer of one set of myths and superstitions calling out another set of myths and superstitions as "blasphemy".
Nice hyperbole...Would you care to constructively discuss, or do you just armchair critique?
Btw, I find it interesting that people hide behind a moniker… very easy way to avoid accountability.,,,
My Bishop was generous and kind, in every way. There are bad people everywhere.
I can relate. My husband was murdered and because I was now single my home teachers stopped coming over and no one came from the ward. Not a gospel of love.
I’m sorry I’m a new member of LDS the members are great my bishop is wonderful. I’m sorry you and your children went through that.
There are 18,000 Mormon bishops in America. Don't judge them all by this one's behavior. When my parents died I asked the church they'd attended to for 20 years for help burying them. I received no help or further condolences. I know church people who are wonderful.
it's up to the individual. the church itself isn't good. it's not judging them all by one's behavior if you admit that they are flawed, untrained men who aren't always going to help you, nor are they inspired by god.
If you know good church people it's because they are good people. They would be good people without the church. If anything, they are good people DESPITE the horrible church they are a part of.
Good people are good, period. If the only thing making a person behave good is some religion making eternal threats...then I hate to break it to you that's actually not a truly good person 😂
@@amenenema474 you don't have a clue. I've known and seen so many people who were selfish monsters until they found God.
Even former hedonist drug addict Russell Brandt found God to be essential to his good mental health. In the Army we knew there were no atheists in a foxhole.
She should’ve name dropped the bishop
I'm so sorry that happened to you! Shame on that man!!!!
That’s so awful 😢
I'm so sorry this happened. I received so much support and love from my Ward when I divorced and returned to my hometown. You should have received the help , you weren't asking for outlandish assistance.
The Grerk Orthadox faith respects and cherishes women. We support you.
I have heard reports like this all too often. 😢
Some people will say anything for attention. You can rest assured this never happened
This is not Christ like, they failed as a bishop and a ward. This is awful
This is exactly how I've felt the entire time. Only the ones who truly love God and Jesus can see me but no one helped me. They never show up now. When I first joined they did.
When i fled to a new state barely alive from Domestic violence and went to my new bishop for guidence and help. He asked if my abuser who i had a restraining order on knew where we were. I said that i hoped not we are hiding. He lectured me how i must have deserved disciplined and a man has his reasons its not my place to question but obey. I was a failure as a parent as a child of god. That i was abusing my son not having a father in his life. Promised to contact my abuser to tell him where we were and i will be submissive and obedient. I ran from the church still haven't taken the same way home twice. Only leave in absolutely need to. We hide and i replay the mouth piece of God telling me i deserved it and he was sending our abuser to our door
You aren’t the only one ... my wife stopped going to church first ... when she left I still had 5 of our 6 daughters living with me ... going to church on my own ... until I finally gave up
Meanwhile I could never get my ward to leave me the hell alone because I needed to be fixed. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, the worst part about Mormon culture is the lack of boundaries.
These exact words --> ALL women in the Mormon church feel! Including all levels of activity. It’s impossible to practice Mormonism as a single parent. When everything crumbles leaders sit there with a stunned look on their face. Survival mode comes first for all human beings & if these needs aren’t being met people find a new tribe.
This is what us singles need. What a joke the church is.
Maybe I'm naive but i was the child of a divorced faithful women, my dad was a non-member, and we rarely got help and my mom rarely asked ever. My mom died at age 76 while living with me. She was a former RS President in this ward and it was all we could do to round up some Priesthood authority to consecrate her grave. I could never rely on the Priesthood as a young woman. It's surprising I lasted as long as I did in that ridiculous cutl.
I feel sad that this happened to her. And it DOES happen. Unfortunately, it is common. Just wrong of the church leaders...who are representatives of the church! Shameful! I am single with no kids, but count myself lucky as I have fellow members who are friends that I can call on for all types of support.
When my husband left her family, I felt like the church left us as well.
Fundamentalist religions suck. The Christian homeschool group treated me and my kids the same when I divorced. Best decision of my life and frankly I'm glad they ghosted me because in the end my kids and I are stronger for it. It still hurts like hell to lose those "friends" whom I thought I could count on.
They are just human. Some people are jerks or they judge.. including Bishops. Or maybe he just didn’t understand. Unfortunately God himself wasn’t in that office
Shame on Bishop, sometimes worldly individuals will help before some church members. I hope she found a new church home.
Yup! Exactly! I know exactly how this is!