AITA for telling my husband, "You've Made Your own bed, So lie in It".....
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- Опубликовано: 8 сен 2024
- AITAH for telling my husband, "You've made your own bed, so lie in it" because he's facing the consequences of neglecting our sons after the birth of our daughter?
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ON THE FLIP SIDE OF THINGS :
ruclips.net/video/b1VVNZ6kKUg/видео.html
(AITA For Wanting To Divorce My Husband For Wanting A Son?)
Dude, the guy asking for updates is either a troll or a bot. He's on all videos, even the updated ones. Don't waste your energy and time answering to him.
@@legiontepes3474 haha... it okay... He told me his reasoning in one of my recent video... and I appreciate all the comments I've on the channel...
that daughter is gonna have her life ruined and her relationship with her big brother has gone to hell
Dads who are so obsessed with their daughters & mothers who are obsessed with their sons are two of the worst kind of parents.
And that's how golden children are born.
This story reminds me of two others, the one where the dad was focusing on his younger son over the two older ones and the other where the parents spoiled their young daughter to the point she were given gifts and even cakes on her older brother b-day.
Fact is that dad is screwed since the damage is already done.
I feel bad for ALL the kids. First, their dad distanced himself for his daughter, forcing the OP to try and do damage control; which as a result, is prompting her to spend little time or attention on their daughter. In the end, all the kids are being neglected in some way. Its going to take ALOT of family therapy to untangle this sh*tstorm.
The number of comments blaming the OP here are insane. She tried to resolve the problem with her husband numerous times for years, they frequently fought about the issue and he always dismissed her, and she stepped up and gave her sons the attention they weren't getting from their dad. She was fully in the right to tell her husband that he is now reaping what he sowed. OP isn't there to stroke her husband's ego when he f'd up.
The husband is a complete loser of a father. Unfortunately, the mother isn't much better for allowing that kind of parenting to happen in the first place.
2:29 "I have tried my best to foster a healthy relationship between my husband and our sons" she goes on to say 5 years of trying out of the 6 years it was happening so no she didn't "just allowed this kind of parenting to happen" she just realized after 5 years of trying it was pointless and just started doing what he used to do with the boys.
@@BaeBunniAnd yet she stayed, allowing her sons to watch for six years as their dad basically doesn’t give a shit about them. How damaging is this? Yeah, she’s the asshole too because she should’ve left
@@BaeBunni Respectfully, she can say anything she wants and make the excuse of "she tried". Any mom who would allow the emotional neglect of her kids for any extended period of time by the dad without going scorched earth on him, is a weak mom.
I of course am not saying she's the main issue, but I see it as a massive fail on her part to just roll with the punches. It's unacceptable.
@@devincooper7821 going scorched earth is hard with 5 kids, plus would probably put the whole situation in the kids head when dad makes his "little girl" his priority when custody happens, what's the point in sending your kids to their dad for a weekend just to have them be in a unfamiliar place completely ignored by their dad whilst their sister has his full undivided attention, instead of at home where they have their mom with them to give them her attention and do things with them
@@wolfpawz13 There are stages to go through before just dropping a Divorce on the guy. A woman has the capability of going scorched earth within the marriage, it doesn't have to be all or nothing. She clearly never even threatened the marriage, and I have big doubts on how clearly she communicated with her husband that this behavior is unacceptable. She seems very passive, and even her just saying "welp you made your bed, now lay in it" is not someone being an active mother in the situation.
That daughter isn't the golden child... She's the platinum child.
Couples and family counseling, individual therapy for the dad. Sadly, I doubt any of that will happen.
Therapy is semi-useful before main problem eruption ONLY...in this case is too late for all of them. Divorce is in pending, sons will hate him and their sister, sister will hate her mother while dad will spoil daughter even more which will create unsufferable spoiled brat and possibly criminal or crazy B, because she bever heard "no" in her life
Parents like Op are selfish in what world does she think letting her sons stay in that environment with an emotionally detached neglectful father any remotely close to be being a happy home? Her kids are miserable and she has done nothing to fix the issue beyond arguing with him, watching her sons be treated less than. By staying in the environment she might as well accept her complicity in the emotional abuse of her sons with the husband
NTA. OP needs to get marriage therapy.
Yea that so called dad gonna get hit reality in old age when sons ditch him
Yes YTA for allowing it to go on this long, the damage being done to your sons is incredible because they know dad doesn’t love them
Ignored the part where she told us she tried for years to make her husband and sons relationship mend?
@@Justicar2503 so what? It’s been six years, and things just keep getting worse. She even said she already gave up. That is very wrong, she should just forbid the behavior entirely and force him to be a good dad or divorce.
@@andynorck2389although I agree she should have done more, what you’re saying makes it sound like you’ve never been in a serious relationship. Not as easy as you’re making it out to be. Not even close. Who knows how stubborn that man is, and she clearly doesn’t want to risk a divorce.
How is it her fault? She tried for YEARS. Not just one year of nagging and trying to change him, but multiple. At that time frame you start to give up hope on the other person changing for the better. Wanted her to divorce? That’s AT LEAST as bad as the current situation. I say AT LEAST because it would separate the sons and father, guaranteed.
Sounds like the stubborn man finally got a reality check and hopefully changes now that it isn’t just the wife saying something. NTA. Can’t imagine how stupidly stubborn that man is. Can’t ignore that it’s a family culture on the dad’s side to favor girls as well. That issue is generational, I don’t think the wife was getting through that man without a divorce.
@@mogbp7775 I mean, we all agree her husband sucks. But I don't think this is behavior you should allow since day one. It was a red flag, one that became true.
I'm just saying if he isn't listening she has to do something about it. Mistreatment of the kids is one of the good reasons to divorce. And I'm not saying she absolutely has to divorce. I'm saying she should have put her foot down and stopped this behavior long ago, and even threatening divorce if necessary, and if even that does not work, than she and her kids are better off without him.
I'm saying this as someone seriously opposed to divorce normally, but this is serious, who knows how much this will affect the kids the longer it goes on, even the girl. One day they boys may start hating even the daughter and OP for not doing anything about it in their eyes, and if that happens, than she won't be able to solve this any longer. She is just postponing the inevitable fallout of this, by naively thinking there won't be serious long term repercussions.
Divorce him, you cannot build a happy marriage on the misery of your 4 sons.
I think that OP desperately doesnt want her kids to grow up in a broken home, despite fighting so much with her husband. While yes, she should stand up for the kids more, i don't think shes in the wrong based on just the fact "its been going on for so long". Yes, it's been going on for a long time and she did try to talk to her husband but i feel like her efforts to do the activities that her husband used to do with her sons shows she isn't trying to neglect them and let their father get away with everything. The multiple argues, even after she "stopped trying" shows that she hasn't stopped trying.
But at the end of the day, divorce would hurt the sons just as much as the neglect from their father. Because after divorce, the father will just quit entirely. Instead of getting gifts for their birthdays and Ava, they'll get a card or nothing most likely. If hes already separated from his wife, why bother with sons when he only wanted a girl?
"I have always wanted to be a girl dad" what the fuck kind of statement is that. check his Onion browser history.
Nta. That man is terrible.
In opinion elder brother hate your husband most
Op. What you can only do is to have heart heart family talk with both your husband and the boys but that more likely added more gasoline on the fire 🔥 if you do that right now 😔 go ask your grandparents tAke CARE OF boys there to cool off iand informed them what happen toward your grandparent but stell explane the boys dont take there anger on there sister she is still a kid that dont know things right now she innocent but aim it on your STOPED FATHER ACTION
Op having up and down on this one enabling her husband bad patern towards hes boys and litting her daughter receiving all the love and spoils of you OP and your husband and added the family's husband side
SAD to think it will make a mark and deep wounds not only the boys also you dauther life becouse of what your husband and aslo you not doing your early solid stands to avoind THIS PROBLEM
So creepy
I looked it up, and there are good books on the subject, but your husband is grooming Ava to be a nacisist. He should look into that and fix it before it is too late.
*Where's The Video With The Updates!*
where is the video whit the updates
IT just Came Out on Reddit... But as soon as OP made an Update... I'll make sure to inform you