the real reason i don't date.
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- Опубликовано: 9 сен 2024
- Wake up with "morning glory", the new podcast hosted by Brad Evans.
episode 6, dating especially in the gay community is always somewhat interesting so in this episode I'm sharing a few of my recent experiences trying the find a man... oh and I chat about porn...
Brad feels like he’s waffling on and not making sense but (especially) this episode had me nodding and smiling in agreement.
Totally agree. And i am younger than him btw.
I identify so much with your experiences. The flakiness, ghosting, hyper sexuality, the vapidity of a lot of gays. Guys just want to hook up. I can’t get a date for the life of me. So I’ve been alone for a very long time and resolved that I’ll probably be alone forever.
I completely agree. Queer culture is just so transactional as a basis. Its doubly hard when increasingly online dating is the primary way to meet someone romantically and the apps pointed at queer relationships promote this (ie Grindr, tinder). But dont give up though! There have to be people sharing similar experiences or this wouldn't be a discourse right?!
sorry if this made negative sense, I am severely sleep deprived. I hope the point got across well.
And the profiles you really have to watch out for are the ones that specify no hookups, looking for dates 😂
You hit the nail on the head with this one, so many of the gays out here never want to have good conversation, and most just want to touch you where you pee. It's gross. I'm so glad that someone else feels the same way.
It's not only in the gay community. Same holds true for hetero community. It's disappointing and very boring.
Am i gross if i like both equally lol
It's like it's... a MEN issue, huh 👀
@@renatalandsmanova125 shut up 😂😂😂
‘Stone cold railing’ took me OUT🤣🤣
its 5:30 am here, i just got home from a miserable night out, this is my saving grace
Omg same East coast baddies
I’m an autistic man I feel like the gay dating world is not assessable to me.
I can’t use dating apps successfully, I struggle with social events and I miss a lot of social cues. And I struggle with sex which makes it more difficult in the gay dating world.
Don’t get me wrong I am happy being single but it would be nice to have a partner
I'm also gay and autistic so I completely relate.
@@MSMDragon I honestly have no idea how to do it, I wish a manual existed on how to date men 😂😂
@@zacclifford3419 me neither! I’ve pretty much just come to the conclusion that I’ll be single forever.
Also gay and autistic here. I also struggle in social events and picking up on social cues and quite frankly it can feel rather exhausting at times. If you ever need a friend to talk to i've always got an ear open.
spectrum gay male here, I married another man on the spectrum, been together 20 years, love is possible
I definitely agree with the p**n stuff. I'm a gay woman and although I don't think les p***n has exactly the same problem I do think that hypersexualisation is a big issue for both which can be really damaging for queer people irl
This has become a nice Sunday morning 5AM routine here in NY. Thanks Brad
I totally agree with you in regards to p**n. There is no romance, and it is hard to find such videos.
Hey brad.. can you do an episode more on the last 5 minutes of this podcast. When it comes to comparing attractiveness, all the questions that come in oneself’s mind and how you deal with it. I have the exact same issue and it’s absolutely draining. I’d love for you to talk about it and maybe I’d learn a thing or two from your experiences.
i can definitely go into more depth on this topic in later episode for sure!
Oh my god I experience this too and I always feel shitty about it because I don’t want to be comparing myself (which ends in me putting down myself or them usually in my brain). I haven’t heard anyone else describe it in the same way.
the biggest for me has been "am i attracted to this person or do i wanna be (like) them?". i wonder how other gays go about it
@@laincoubert7236 I struggle to figure that out with women as well. Sometimes it's hard to tell if I'm really attracted to someone or I just think they're cool and am inspired by them.
As a demisexual gay this experience has been brutal in the past-- before I had figured myself out I thought I was just broken for not enjoying what "all the other gays found enjoyable". No, turns out the gays just didn't want to spend any time getting to know me and vise versa, thus keeping me dry as a bone-- and they still haven't to this day. It was a significant source of social strain for me to have these gross interactions until I disengaged from it completely, and that was an extremely healthy choice for me.
You can be as much gay as anyone else, just by being yourself without being a specific variant... it just called preferences and personal tastes
It makes a lot of sense, this episode was amazing. I'm agree with you about the nudes and sex, it's a mentality that I would love to hear more conversations about it. Thanks you for sharing this with us Brad. Much love from Argentina 🇦🇷♥️
I definitely don't think that you're alone in most of the topics that you have discussed. It's unfortunate that you haven't found someone who has taken the time to really truly get to know you because you are such a fun and loving person. It's lovely hearing you talk about how important it is to you to get to know someone on a deeper level, and I know you'll find that person.
Brad this is so relatable- I’ve been single for 6 years for me it feels almost impossible to find someone who isn’t boring AF. I’m at an age now where the pool is slim pickings. Literally 2 days ago I was listing all the things you just did to a friend and they were telling me I’m negative and am making excuses on why I don’t date more. Which I responded with it’s just an awareness of who I am and how I’m perceiving guys who I come in contact with. And like you I’m not desperate to have a bf but would eventually like one. Dating is so complex; and nowadays it seems people who are looking for something deeper are far and few in between- here’s to one day finding someone we connect with.
Thank you💗🙏🏼 This was so relatable. As a gay trans man it sometimes can be exhausting and frustrating how sex and genital focused the community is. Obviously, understandable-I think every trans man/masc understands-but still kind of saddening it's always about that... And that to some the rest: personality, romance etc. doesn't matter.
If you're looking for romantic sexual content to consume outside of porn, I'd really recommend getting into books. They can be sexy and deeply emotional/romantic at the same time.
I listened to this while cleaning the oven, so I'm gonna go and watch it all over again because it really hit home for me.
As a demi, finding someone to date and even dating itself is just a nightmare, to the point that I've almost completely given up, and if it happens, it happens.
The quick sexualizing of any conversation is a men thing I think. As a single woman, every single damn conversation with men from dating app turns either outright sexual or is suddenly full of innuendos to try to get me to talk about it first so they can claim they weren't the ones bringing it up.
Thanks for your honesty Brad, I’m glad to see other people questioning the new normal.
Sadly all sounds very relatable too
Speaking of green tops, will you watch ‘Shrek 2’ that’s re-releasing in theatres for the 20th Anniversary?
I have never seen myself as really attractive but I have never had any problems with dating guys that I have wanted to date. I think if someone who is attractive and is happy to date you then your clearly attractive to them and that is what matters. You are both individuals and the whole point is to be attracted to each other. If some who is attractive and doesn't want to date you then that's on them and it might be more about them having a type. Just my two pence worth
very true, thanks for ur perspective. i think it’s just something im going to have to work on.
@bitmoreBrad like you say, has been drilled into you because of your dancing background...and we've all got our issues...but you're a lovely looking bloke and from what you appear to put out into the universe you will find what you are looking for...I suppose you have to watch out for "those type of gays" that just want to be able to say they've been with Brad off RUclips which can't be nice to have in the back of your mind also 😬 good luck to you gurl 😊
This!!! I’ve never related to you more!!! I hate dating apps and hook up culture. I’ve been single for so long but I’m not interested in hooking up because I worry I will catch feelings and end up disappointed. But I agree with you, I’d rather talk to someone who gives a shit about getting to know me. I know I need to put myself out there more but I share your anxiety about what if they don’t think I’m attractive. I think my self preservation is getting in my way. I’d rather protect my heart rather than try and possibly get hurt. Romance is missing in the world today and idk how to find it or get it back. I realized that I really have to make an effort because the love of my life isn’t just going to fall into my lap (god..I wish) I’ve been very busy with grad school and working that the narrative I have been telling myself is “I’m too busy to think of anything else right now. But now that I graduated and I don’t have that excuse anymore. It’s really hard to break yourself out of that mindset but I’m trying
I've been single for 26 years, I'm still a virgin, and I hope to continue being single forever.'
I don't know why I say that, but I find it difficult to trust people, and the fact is that at this time you shouldn't trust anyone, disappointments have become very many that come from those you don't expect them to come from ...
I'm 29 and same!
🤣🤣🤣 I need to see merch with that quote on it, "I just want to be hot and mind my own business". The dating scenario, wow! I can't see myself even attempt ever again. Never been great for me. My limited experience has been the struggle to maintain confidence in the connection. If a guy's attracted to me, they're friends are always disgusted. Only once did an attractive man's friend not shun me for the way I looked. I'm never gonna get between a person and their friends or family, so I'm glad to find people who think so highly of their people, I just don't want to deal with the constant disapproval. Good talk, Sis. ❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜🩷
i actually might 👀
@@bitmoreBrad Hold up, lemme get my card. 😄
yeah that guy most definitely wanted to hookkup after the date and probably ghosted you because he never got that, alot of these people just want a fwb or a fling (but maybe lied saying otherwise), he could probably see you was wanting more then that and got out of there. ive been in this situation before alot of the time the priority is the sex, but lead you on saying otherwise.
Listened to this on Spotify and had to come comment here.
You are so real for the episode. I believe I'm a few years older than you but I'm in the same boat dating-wise. I'm no prude by any means but it's exhausting to deal with the lack of depth in the dating pool. I mostly date men and they can be so bleh in conversation. It's like pulling teeth to sustain connection to even get close to wanting to go the bedroom or pursue a longer term romance. Hang in there my fellow single 🫶🏾 As we continue to work on ourselves, we'll attract the right kind of people worth our time that won't ghost or disappoint us.
literally CRYINGGGGGG over the royalty free music bit omfg
I agreed with absolutely every point that you made in this episode. I am currently feeling pretty burned out with dating because every man that I come into contact with loses my interest by turning it sexual too quickly or by not being able to carry a conversation. I am a very sexual person, but I don’t revolve my entire personality around sex. I’m looking for someone that I can connect with on a deeper level and eventually settle down with. It’s difficult to find in the current landscape of hookup culture and ghosting. I think porn and dating influence each other, especially in the gay community. I also look for videos that portray some form of passion and chemistry as opposed to a man just getting railed. IDK maybe it’s just me, but I think everything is better with a man that you share a bond with. It’s a long journey, or it has been for me so far, but I’m not giving up
absolutely loved this episode! thanks for telling us about how you feel about certain things cuz I definitely found myself agreeing most of the time :)
also, regarding the part where you were talking about your experience looking at someone, thinking they're hot and then immediately getting jealous and comparing yourself to them: I also think it particially comes from social media, but it could be a way of "trying to get to know someone" in a way as well. what I mean by that is that since one of the ways our brain gets to know something is by comparing it to something else to have a clearer idea about it, you could also be doing that to know someone or at least put a label on them, marking them as prettier than you, for instance. now, I'm no expert in this, it's just one of my philosophic thoughts, I just thought I'd let you know about my theory in case you can find it interesting and reflect on it even more, maybe even eventually getting to the actual root of it ;)
This really made me feel seen
Thanks for reiterating my thoughts and making me not feel crazy for feeling this way
FINALLY, SOMEONE SAID IT?!?! Literally felt guilty coz I thought it was just me being bitter and too closed up, but you're SO RIGHT on this one !!!
Your aversion to people/men sexuallizing you is quite interesting. Sometimes I feel the same toward my husband. 😅😅 I want answers
😂😂😂
I have a bad sense of time to the point that it's like a disability. I have unintentionally let quite a few friendships get too distant. Here I'm feeling very close, still, but I'm apparently time-blind. Only quite recently have I learned that a small percentage of us humans remember primarily sensorially, and the memories do not fade. Normal people feel time pass in multiple ways, not the least of which is that fading. When I was young, I thought it was just a quirk. As I've aged, I see it's a major problem. My feelings and memories remain vivid, as if they were generated quite recently. I have let years pass without realizing it wasn't a few weeks. I still remember smells, sounds, sense of environment, images, words said, facial expressions traded, and the only thing telling me it's been awhile is logic and a life full enough that it seems an awful lot of stuff lies between here and there. It's weird. The other unfortunate result is that it traps persons where they were, in my mind, as in the same age. It startles me to see someone significantly older or figure out, "omg, it's been 20 years since" x. I know that's nuts, and frankly it's not anybody else's burden to bear. I just didn't know it was uncommon, but not super rare to have the same issues. In MY case, my life has also been painfully dull the last decade, so, you know, it seems like I just went to the last family reunion-only, that was eleven years ago. O.O
So, it was the ghosting business that got me on this line of thought. I'm certain that many friends have thought I've ghosted them, which implies intent. No, I just have this problem sensing time poorly, meanwhile memories remain more vivid than for most people. Oddly enough, it was LESS bad when I was a busier person; but it actually;y makes a lot of sense, now that I know it's a neurological difference in no more than 1-2% of the human population. If there's ANY point to my post, it's just that sometimes we, at large, function at different paces and have to communicate about that difference in relationships we want to keep or start up. All of us, not just my tiny percentage of statistical outliers. I admit, though, that this very issue is partly why I do not date, either; though in my case it's because I feel bad putting people through it-plus other things. I'm not high maintenance, but I definitely present some other challenges. You might guess, for example, that I don't talk a lot; but when I do, a lot comes out. Like I'd been saving up. lol
loved this episode 💙 i feel the exact same way you do and im glad to know im not alone in this haha
I am proud of you for actively taking the steps to combat the comparing thoughts. You’re not alone- I’ve been there. Comparison will always be there. I personally don’t think it’s about stopping those thoughts but maybe empowering yourself to make a different choice after you’ve heard them. If you often easily believe them- what would it feel like to doubt them immediately?
Idk just things I thought about while you were speaking
Btw I loved the episode!
😂 this is so freaking on point!! Subscribed
Man, I would take your inner monolog over mine any day. I see a guy I'm attracted to and go "He's probably straight. Even if he's gay I'm sure he's taken and probably wouldn't be into me anyway."
I'm working on it but it's not easy. Also I definitely feel you on the ghosting and over sexualized stuff. Idk why these guys can't be adult enough to just say "sorry I'm just not feeling it" or "I'm not really looking for something serious right now" instead of leading you on and vanishing.
30:29 to 30:39 HAD ME IN TEARS LMFAOOO, i keep replaying it
One of the reasons it took me so long to come out is because I am so turned off by the sex-first attitude gay men have overall that I struggled with internalized homophobia despite growing up in a family with zero prejudice. I get what women mean when they say they hate men because it’s not the fact that they’re gay, it’s that they’re men. I’m just not like that.
I’ve been in a LTR for years and it can even be a problem to an extent within a relationship. I do not have a high libido. I don’t really want sex more than once a week or so, and I honestly wouldn’t mind only having it every other month. I just don’t have that drive. When I was in my 20’s it was a little different but still enough for the sex-first attitude to turn me off. I’m somewhat resigned to the idea that if my current relationship ends for some reason, I will probably never find another because 99% of gay or bi men make a horrible first impression to me.
I’m not a prude, I’m just not very libidinous and I am not looking for anything where sex is the bedrock foundation. But even mentioning this will have you shouted down as “heteronormative” or whatever, as though emotional connection belongs exclusively to the straights and sex belongs exclusively to the gays. It’s incredibly alienating but I’m past the point where I let myself feel put down about it, and instead I just have no patience for that aspect of the culture.
I love Heartstopper because it’s one of the only depictions of gay men that isn’t imitating Queer As Folk, but I’ve seen people in the queer community put it down as “juvenile and unrealistic” because Nick and Charlie don’t have sex before they know each other’s names and they talk about something other than each other’s body parts. Well, there are people like that in real life.
I totally relate to this. My low libido has caused issues in every single relationship I've had. Men take it as a personal insult if I'm not in the mood. I've even rolled over and let them do their thing because I really loved them and didn't want them to leave....which I now refuse to do. That scenario you mentioned, about your current relationship somehow ending and you being alone forever....welp, I'm there. It's actually fine...I don't even put myself out there on social apps anymore. If I meet someone compatible, cool. If not, the spinster life isn't the worst fate I can think of. But, to your point about men, I totally agree. I feel like if I were straight or bi, I wouldn't have any problem with opposite sex relationships, at all.
Another great episode Brad. I enjoy my Sunday morning “conversation” with you. I look forward to it. I don’t think you lost any viewers with your topics today, as you thought might happen talking about porn, if anything people found it relatable. I hope the guy that ghosted you watched this and regrets not getting to know you better. As you are quite lovely. ☺️
Take my comment with a grain a salt, especially since I am a married female. I was thinking the other day about men and how they treat their bodies and just generally thought that perhaps they learn their bodies are made only for sex and strength. Perhaps society teaches men that their bodies are not meant for much more somehow which lead to hyper-sexualization? I mean idk that men are shown much care and soft physical affection. In my opinion men need to be caressed and platonically touched more. They surely are much more than just d*ck and balls.
I have a lot more thoughts but don’t want to keep going lol Lots of love and hugs Brad! Thank you for sharing!
I am happy this got suggested to me. I was just having this conversation the other day with one of my close friends. I don’t necessarily want to be alone but at this big age and being single most of my life it doesn’t bother me as much if I’m single for the foreseeable future. It also feels like so much of the community is hyper focused on sex to quickly. Your experience you spoke about with the first person from the shop is so relatable for me. Going on a date with the other person and them taking days or weeks to get back with you. Then randomly messaging/ contacting you like they didn’t ignore or ghost you for weeks like everything is fine.
Thank you for being my friend for 40 min 😊❤
These are some really relevant issues you are talking about here and i am so glad you do! You are not alone and i feel a lot of us have similar opinions, especially on the way we think about ourselves and ho we look and compare each other. Defenetly a problem of our generation, growing up with social media. I am worried. But then again knowing there are more people out there, who think like you, ... not so worried. Love you
why would i watch porn when Bridgerton exists??
Real
Every word resonated. Brad, you’re talking about some topics that do need to be discussed much more in the gay community, and they are very much intertwined. I spend 90% of my dating energies deflecting oversexed come ons from guys who seem like they simply want to use me as an alternative to masturbation, attempting to order d**k in the apps like it’s DoorDash. And, I think it’s the availability of porn that has trained some men to dehumanize the men they pursue. I’ve also had so many conversations over the past year with men who tolerate hookups, hoping they’ll grow into more, because they believe it’s the only means they have at getting the intimacy they desire. Gay men are not okay. It’s as if wanting connection has become stigmatized. Please continue these conversations. They need to be heard.
I def relate to a lot of this. I’m not even open to dating right now. I’ve been in therapy and trying to gain confidence for ME. But the dating scene…where are the people who like to have deep and meaningful convos??? Massage my miinnnndddd plzzzz. I also resonate with the ending convo of always wondering and honestly overthinking about how people feel about me. Am I enough? Do they REALLY like me? I need direct and explicit. Because I don’t do well with limbo and gray areas. It’s (like you said) exhausting.
i had something similar happen to that story of the date who was so complimentary and ghosted you- i matched with a girl and we messaged for weeks, got on like a house on fire, she was so complimentary of me and seemed excited to meet me! but stood me up for our first date. took a week to respond, barely apologized, and ghosted me after a couple days. it was quite upsetting at the time but idk probably for the best in the end? i hope so, anyway 😂
Being ghosted feels so bad especially when if feels like you both hit it off so well it makes no sense. Made me depressed for a while too.
My fella has the Britney collection of Funkos because he saw how hard my geekdom has caused me to collect over 100 X-men funkos and now the 90s cartoon is going to be rebooted/restarted on Disney+ so already there are already 15 more on preorder. Have you seen the comic cover funkos yet gurl?
On constantly comparing yourself to others, I say to myself 'A starfruit shouldn't feel bad when comparing itself to an orange.'
You're so mature, I resonate with your problem. It's too quick for me nowadays, feels like nobody really cares about the person in the first place.
I might sound a little silly, but the guy will come once you stop looking for him. Just chill for a bit, you know your worth, you deserve someone who values you as much!
this video resonated so much with me, thank you Brad!
Thanks for your honesty. I think this reflects everyone dating rn. Gay str8 it's all the same. Also, my last abusive relationship and then following dating era really helped me lean into detaching from this cycle of suffering that's called dating. People are liars, damaged, and awful over time. We hurt those closest to us so I'll just stay detached. Focus on my art and spirituality.
An excellent episode, important topics, proper honesty...and I heard "myself" through most of it! Carry on, my guy.
my heart sank on your first story, the same shit happened to me some weeks ago
I cannot understand why anybody would do that, an amazing date and good energy right after, only to completely be gone and not reply, Its really hard not to take it personally (which I know I shouldn't) when you aren't given a reason why. I too am really good at discerning when something is off, so this took me completely by surprise
I relate so much to the conversation of dating and oversexualization of everything. Maybe it's because I'm asexual. It's odd because im sex positive like you do you, and i have needs but also dont want to have sex with anyone. I didnt date for the longest time either because it felt so icky and people didnt understand my aversion to things. My partner is demisexual so i think that helps a lot because we both understand what the other is feeling. I mean tbh we met playing Dungeons and dragons so i think that's a better to way to meet people more similar to you 😂 going to events or doing nerdy things you're generally gonna find more interesting people than on dating apps maybe. But that's just my experience. Anyway loved this episode and related to a lot!
I have alot of respect for you. I think you've matured. Everything you talked about makes alot of sense. I just adore you. I love listening to you talk. 🔥❤❤❤❤
I am 28 and have been single for 7 years now. Hearing this dating story reminds me why I don't date and why I enjoy solitude. 😭
"I just want to be hot and mind my own business." - Brad Evans 😘
“He’s not the most interesting thus far” savage ☠️
Everything made sense Brad! Everything! Excellent episode!!💖💖
Thanks for a great episode, Brad! A lot of relatable moments in this one :)
"Pummeling and punch holes" 😂😂😂😂
Yes, I know what you mean. It's becoming more and more extreme. And here I am looking for those rare moments of "real connection" and "real enjoyment" between the actors (YES, THEY DO HAPPEN) and those are the ones that get me going. Rarer and rarer.
About the porn. Try reading an mm romance novel or two. There are some very romantic ones.
I really enjoyed this video and completely understand your point on the ghosting, very frustrating.
I absolutely relate. I do not date either it is soooooo confusing, as You described. You are young tho, so I hope You have much more luck than I have had.
It may sound weird but I am feeling kind of relived to know that I not the only one with this struggle. Like Brad is good looking, charismatic and successful and it's hard for him to find love so I guess it's just the world we are living, unfortunately. I am almost 28yo in a small town, sometimes feels like I am going to be alone forever and that's becoming terrifying
As a straight woman I related so hard to this I’ve never been in a relationship and dating feels so daunting and weighing through all the bs is so tiring.
I'm reminded of a quote from a movie, "I'm not gay, I'm just, European" you're darling.
The "wild woman" killed me 🤣
Btw, I've been through a very similar ghosting like yourself. Found eachother online, there was good chemistry in DM, went on a date, everything was going fine, then from the next day he stopped replying. .... Like what?!?!? Maybe I'm old fashioned, but at least do what you said. Leave a message like, sorry I'm not feeling it.
It’s possible that your date didn’t organically run into his friends at your date, they probably arrived together and were there for moral support and to bail on the date if it went bad
this is great. Love to see it
good luck to you both hope you both end up happy!
I’m so happy I’m not the only one who feels this way. I hate dating as a gay man because it’s so hyper sexualized.
It was so refreshing to listen to your experiences, but mostly sad because I can relate to most of it.. p.s. happy to hear I'm not the only one obsessed with funko pops hehe
Brad I'm a bisexual woman so this probs wont matter as much but in my eyes you're such an attractive, good vibes, compassionate, down to earth guy, and just so interesting and cute! I love your sense of humour in your reaction videos, and I've been incorporating that in my own way of joking. It's insane to me that you've been single for 6 years!! Hope you'll cross paths with a lovely guy soon, who will appreciate you and love you how you deserve
I can relate. This would've been an interesting episode to have Liam's perspective.
BRAD U ARE STRONGER THAN ME IF I SAW SOMEONE AFTER THEY GHOSTED ME I WOULDVE CALLED THEM OUTTTF
I was rewatching the previous episode just in time to be updated on the podcast. Also, my favourite question to you is: “How are you single?”
Fear not, all will be revealed.
It took me 20 minutes to notice the artwork. Lol.
Say it louder for the people at the back!!!! It's been more than 3 years, I've done anything with anyone as it's simply become exhausting. People can't stimulate the neurons and just want to be raging feral beings in the name of 'sex positivity' PARTICULARLY the 'woke' lot... It's annoying and just overbearingly bothersome.
Nailed it. The amount of hate I receive for not wanting to be slutty from those folks is downright hypocritical. “Sex positivity” seems to be an excuse to abandon all restraint rather than a framework of inclusion.
Amen to all of this.
In years past, I've been through much of the same thing. Luckily things turned around. You've got class - that's the problem. And, that's not a problem with you - it's the other people. Don't ever sacrifice your standards for someone else. If you stick to that, someone who appreciates it will come along - trust me.
A lot of this is so relatable. Last year I had arranged to travel to meet someone for a second date, we’d organised it well in advance, he’d booked the time off, I was off. The day before he’s like “oh I forgot, I’m working now but you can come by in the night if you want” like…wtf? Bare in mind he was 35 too like 💀
And then recently I got stood up and then it was my fault apparently for not reminding him the morning of the date. Again, 30+ years old. I’m over it!
The ghosting thing is so freaking annoying. I tend to have good dates, several hours like this one! I've got to the point where I leave my expectations at the door. Some guys are just communication challenged.
I am, by no means, the best at communicating... But jees, basic interactions shouldn't be that difficult. Also, the 3 prominent years during COVID I believe have really messed with the way people present conversation.
I go through moods with porn lol I loveeeee massage porn, or just sensual "gay" massage asmr. TouchASMR is... -chef's kiss- He is sooooo good. 🥵
I also read a lot of erotica which helps fill that gap as well.
Also. Random question, how tall are you?!
yes yes yes to everything you said. just stumbled upon your channel great content. when it comes to seeing someone cute for me its not really "oh he's cute why aren't i that cute" its more so "why would someone like that wanna be with someone like me" its a mind fuck for sure
the thing i hate the most about porn lately is the "cheating and getting caught by oblivious girlfriend"
This was a great episode! Completely agree with everything you said! 😆 Same gay dating issues happening over here in San Diego
series recommendation: DYNASTY its so-effing good like so fucking good, its witty smart and totally worth it. You'd love it im sure
The gay scene is indeed stone cold 😂
Agree with everything, like this has been me the past couple months, the dating pool is just a struggle atp 😂 like ghosting/unserious people has become and epidemic 😭
Brad….. you make me laugh… not the meat sandwich 😂😂😂
I feel you on this though. I’ve been single for about 5 years and I’m ready for a real relationship and wanting to get to know me and him too. It’s hard out here to find a good one lol
lemme get my headphones 🎧 🏃🏻
you want your dating experiences to be exciting but it seems it's a very specific kind of excitement you're chasing. I'd really love to know what you'd want from someone pursuing you. Like an example.
it’s not the dating experiences i want to have a certain type of exciting (the dates have been fun), it’s conversations. Maybe, exciting isn’t the right word but maybe engaging would make more sense.
So relatable darling, you are not alone in those thoughts !
That date story hit too close to home lol. Almost every date I've gone on with a guy I've felt went great. They've usually been very sweet with me but then after the date I get completely ghosted. It's like what did I do to make you ghost me? Lol
After my last relationship failed MISERABLY and I was left with a broken heart and some trauma. I decided that I don't need a man in my life anymore. I don't want that kind of negativity around me. I've been in 3 relationships so far and I think that's enough. It's been almost 5 years and I don't want to get back into dating. Well...I'm a plus sized "fem" kind of gay which basically excludes me from the dating scene nowadays, so...🤣
Worst case scenario I'll adopt 15 cats, and they will eat me one day 😂😂😂
you want a deeper connection. Something with substance. Something that hooks you
He was assuming after a while you’d sleep with him and when you didn’t, and then you sent lengthy messages, you put him off. Sadly, men mainly want one thing. They don’t want a lot of ‘work’ talking and getting to know you. The date was long because he assumed eventually you’d put out and when you didn’t, he lost interest, and/or he hooked up with someone else. Very attractive guys are even worse. They know they can get pretty much anyone they want in bed, so they are 1. Very picky and frequently obnoxious about the people they aren’t into, and 2. They are lazy and selfish in bed because they know they can just get a different guy the next night. Every time I slept with a guy I felt was ‘out of my league’ they were the WORST lovers, honestly. You probably didn’t miss anything by this guy ghosting you. If I sound bitter it’s because gay men are the worst. lol. I just got tired of the bs and now I am happily single and celibate by choice. There’s this guy I dated a few times off and on and I told him I don’t want to have sex but every conversation he tries to bring it up. It’s so annoying. There was a period in my life when I was quite sexual and I wanted a relationship. I don’t judge guys who are only looking for sex. That’s fine, just be honest about it. Guys who pretend to be interested in friendship or dating only to try to have sex the first chance they get… no m’am. I’ve literally tried to start a friendly conversation with someone who ‘claims’ they are looking for friends only, only for them to say sorry, they don’t find me attractive. But what does that have to do with being a friend? lol. So pathetic
As far as porn, sounds like you’d be more into vintage stuff from the 80s and 90s, as long as you don’t mind the condoms. The porn typically had storylines and frequently were more about romance or at least fantasy. And the music is written specifically for the film, so it’s not royalty free. 🤣 plus honestly, the guys were hotter back then. It’s great that people can film themselves if they want and lots of different shapes sizes and colours are out there for everyone now, but amateur porn is usually terribly filmed and typically very unsexy. To each their own, I guess. I’ll take the blurry low res video quality of vintage porn over the crappy camera angles and bad lighting of most amateur porn.
It’s so funny how this is relatable 😂 every single thing you have said.
First Pod I stumbled upon, need to listen to the others now.