You are Fat and NOTHING Else
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- Опубликовано: 18 окт 2024
- Lots of luck to Kaitlin on her journey! / kaitlin_elisabethh
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#fatacceptance #bodypositivity #weightgain #weightloss #dating
"My goal weight is not a number, my goal weight is FREEDOM" I need to put this on my mirror!
I have a tank top that says, “my goal weight is strong AF.”
When I was losing people would ask what my goal weight was and I'd be like "I've been obese since I was like 8. I have no idea what I would look like at anything close to a normal weight so how would I even know?" Numbers are arbitrary, everyone's goal should just be to get to a place where you're healthy and happy.
@@MunKiDaYI currently feel the same way. I’m 23 and in the 180s right now but I’m working on losing. I’ve never been “skinny” so I don’t even know what that would look like on me. I’m just working to better myself because I already spent pretty much my whole life this way. I don’t want to spend the rest of it like this too.
Seriously, I have never dared try to actually diet bc I get obsessive with numbers and already struggle with eating enough (neurodivergent person who don't feel HUNGER, so need a schedule to even remember to eat, but also extremely difficult eater bc I'm sensitive to textures etc and when you don't feel hunger nor have any interest in cooking, the last thing you want to spend time on is extending what already feels like a chore..) but I gained a lot of weight some years ago bc medications. I wanted to lose the weight, but also didn't know where to begin except being more physical as my doctor said my best chance was to increase my meals per day but that takes a lot of me? So I started walking longer each day (I have a dog, so that really helped), and got control of my asthma which made me actually notice a difference in my performance while walking. And each week I finished my usual round way quicker. So had to add on to my routes, started doing new, different routes with more "obstacles".. and now I've lost a significant amount of weight. But what I've noticed the most, is that by NOT looking at the scale (I only have my weight checked every once in a while when doing controls of my heart related to ADHD-meds), I've not even thought about what my weight is now vs before? What I DO think about and notice, is the freedom. I don't plan every walk down to the second, wondering if I'll be able to take different routes without using what little energy I have left that day. I don't look at the time for how long the walk has taken, to make sure my dog gets the needed time for a walk. I just walk and enjoy myself. Taking in my surroundings, breathing perfectly fine and just enjoying my body functioning. And tbh, that matters a whole lot more than numbers on a scale. My RHB is lower than it's been in years, my body is performing at a much higher ability than I've had in YEARS, and yeah, it feels very freeing.
I know if I had tried to diet, I would have been hyperfocused for the first few weeks maybe a few months, before completely crashing and being filled with guilt and shaming myself for not being able to stick with it. Like ofc weightloss requires change. But you have to find a balance that you can realistically maintain for a long period of time, potentially the rest of your life. So by not focusing on weight but instead my improved stats on walks, that really helped motivate me to just enjoy it. Now I've started dance lessons again after years of too much anxiety to return even tho it used to be my one safe space, and I've never enjoyed my body more. Like sure, I still have some weight that should probably be "removed", but I don't focus on that. Instead I focus on my body functioning and me being able to partake in life the way I want to! And that IS freedom. Not being limited by my mental health OR my body weight.
Now if only you could geg quality jeans that actually accommodate for smaller waist than hips and thighs, that would improve my life a lot 😂😂. Sincerely, someone who NEEDS to use high waisted jeans to feel comfy bc of my proportions, but now have a constant gap in the waistline at the back driving me insane..
[Edit to add I do not eat enough compared to adults and activity levels, but I've always been a small eater, so if I do actually eat 2-3 small to regular sized meals I feel so uncomfortably full? My body is not used to that, so I assume my belly is just not big enough bc it has never eaten large amounts or many meals per day. The weight-loss has been gradual, over past 3.5 years, nothing MAJOR or extremely quickly!! So pls do not read this as me contributing weight loss to starvation or even my ADHD-meds making me eat less. I eat equally as much as I've always done, even when I was SUPER active with around 20hrs of dance practice per week and 6hrs of soccer per week.. never been severely underweight as my body is adjusted to my intake]
“If you want to be fat, rock it!” Exactly. When I was almost 500lbs I made it seem like I loved it and didn’t care. But when I was alone in a room, I was breaking down and hated myself.
That is sad. I am sorry.❤
Being obese is a miserable existence.
Spot on!
I’m not overweight in the least and never have been; but when I’m alone in a room, I’m breaking down and hating myself.
You don’t have to be fat to have troubles.
Something that isn't talked about much is how when people who have only had a hard life suddenly find some success, they experience this like purge of emotions and trauma triggers and grief. Like the moment you crawl out of the hole, you start grieving the life you didn't get to have for all those years that you finally have now. I got that from her towards the end. Weight loss is such an intense emotional experience.
Relatable
She is such a lovely woman. I just wish her the best. I love when she mentioned freedom as the goal, because that's exactly what it's all about.
So much respect for her, what a great gal!
She seems lovely. I like how down to earth she is, and that she has understanding for how the things are.
💜 That feeling of joy is so relatable- I was feeling it earlier this year (from 309 on 12/5/22 to 192 today, 12/11/23) and it is so good. Her video made me smile so big. ☺️
Fantastic job. Lot of hard work that’s gone into your journey.
Congratulations! My heaviest was 306 8n 2019. I'm down to 260, and have a bit to go. Seeing others go towards their goals is inspiring. ❤
I do want to challenge some of what she said. People will ALWAYS see you for what makes you different first. Thats not new or revaltory. I’m a black man. When I walk into a room that’s not filled with black people, people will see my race first. A woman that walks into a room full of mostly men they will see her gender first.
That's a good point! I thought a little bit about that too. It can apply to so many roles and have different stereotypes attached to them. For example, if you meet a very buff guy for the first time, you might assume that he's a meathead who has put all his skills into training and lack in most other things. But when it comes to meeting an overwheight person for the first time, that must bring some of the worst stereotypes to the table. I think many just assume that they're lazy, smelly and play the victim card like it's nothing. I hate that there are so many assumptions going on when meeting someone for the first time.
There is nothing wrong with noticing the difference if you still treat people with respect. I hate when people say they are "color blind" because it's obviously not true. I notice color but I just don't care or think negative thoughts about it. When I see obese people or deformed people I always think "there is a person in there". Some people are shallow but not everyone is like that. A lot of people are only nice to people they find attractive which is horrible. We could lose our looks in an accident at any moment. We could go blind so I don't understand why looks are so important.
@@GurkmassaWhen I see obese people I think they probably have trauma or mental illness because that's usually what leads to an eating disorder. So I have compassion unless they start calling me fat phobic because I don't think obesity is healthy.
That’s a great way to put it. Never thought about this before.
I deff understand that people see what makes you different first. I felt incredibly out of place when I was growing up and went to a mostly black school and entered the classroom, or especially the cafeteria and I was the only white kid. Probably doesn't help that kids are quite mean. I also notice it where I'm living at now, the town I'm living in is filled with some extremely racist people so whenever I see someone who isn't white I feel myself noticing. But it's just a notice because it's not the norm. Not any other negative thought enters my mind on the person. If anything I'm thinking I hope others are treating them well.
That being said, I tend to find myself actually judging others even if it's subconciously about how they look that they obviously have control over. What type of clothing they wear, how they wear it. Their body type, like are they skinny, buff, normal, overweight, massively overweight. I think this is the type of judging she was referring to. If you see they are massively overweight, generally you think they over eat, don't take care of themselves, and don't even attempt to exercise. So you tend to think they are lazy.
If you enter a room full of people wearing a red shirt and jeans, and you are the only person wearing a blue shirt and shorts, everyone will take notice of that. I think that's the difference I'm trying to come up with, with what she is talking about.
Definitely have felt the need to prove myself as being more than just a fat girl, especially before losing a lot of weight.
Good to know Kaitlin is making changes and losing weight, to no longer be just "the fat girl". Wishing her much luck on her journey!
I literally have to prove I'm losing weight otherwise internet bullies don't believe me that I'm exercising
@@dancingbird 🥺💛
You can't hold hands with someone who's walking in a different direction.
Wow I love this persons energy so much! Her vibe is wonderful, she seems very genuine
Me too. I usually don’t like them but she is saying everything I used to feel.
What pisses me off is when someone tells me I gained some weight when they are way fatter than I am and when I say the same to them, then they are insulted. As long as this young lady is happy she is on a weight loss journey that't only count.
Omg what a great point! It’s always the people who are bigger than you commenting on your weight.
Exactly
She seems like such a lovely and reasonable person! I really hope she ends up in a happy place 😊
Agree
I’m so proud of her, it’s not easy to make this decision and stick to it. Good for her!! 💪🏼🙌🏼
This is your most relatable video. That's exactly been my experience all my life. The thing is, other people aren't even doing it consciously. Even recently, during my MBA program students and teachers regularly confused me for another big guy in the class. They oftem called me with the other guy's name, because he was more popular in the class than me and the only thing common between the two of us was our weight. Nothing else was common between 2 of us. I am an extrovert, but, it's hard to be truly myself, because weight is the first thing that people notice and then it becomes a struggle to prove that I you more than that. Because you are bigger, you have to take extra efforts to not be precieved as aggressive. Being assertive, many a time gets confused with being aggressive.
I LOVE this girls energy. So happy for her.
I understand what you both say about having to prove yourself when you’re fat. You just want to prove that you’re more than just the fat person. I’ve never put it into words, and I’m glad this girl did. Very relatable. I’m on my own weight loss journey too, and you, John, have actually helped me with it and not punishing myself for slip ups. I don’t have as much weight to lose as you did, but your advice, alongside learning about intuitive eating has really helped.
Exactly. It was literally everything I used to feel and I still feel I need to prove myself after losing the weight.
My first impressions have gotten much better as I've been getting back in shape.
I did it because I missed being in shape and I missed how that felt. Btw your channel is a help with that goal.
I've ALWAYS been a big girl. I turned 50 in November and I'm absolutely getting right with my size~ I grew up in a family where both sets of grandparents lived through the great depression, SO, I was encouraged to get 2nds and even 3rd servings PER each meal 3 times a day + snacks, sodas, and rarely any water. In the last few months I've learned to enjoy the mental energy I get from leafy greens and eating better. As well, heading off to the gym and learning how much better I feel when I excercise.
Positivity in who you are, skinny, large and in-between.
Your personality, when you feel good in the skin you're in, will beam.
Enjoy who you are, no matter size, shape or color the skin you live in ~
Treat each other like you'd like to be treated= With respect and compassion❤
Love Kaitlins outlook so much... good luck to her on her journey! Makes me so happy for her.
I appreciate how honest she is, and the commentary you add
In my experience, being heavy was a defense mechanism more than anything. It made me feel invisible/safe. One of the weirdest parts of losing weight is being more seen. Idk how I feel about it. 🙃
That's my biggest fear about being slim. Being perceived. I'm autistic and already shy so being noticed more would be hell
Aww. What a sweetheart. I wish her well.
She sounds like such an amazing person tho, seriously! Would love to hang out with her, and hope she can one day feel happy about her body and herself! Bc she seems genuinely like such a cool and kind soul. She deserves happiness, and I totally get what she means with not "settling" bc you don't know what you COULD get until you are more physically and mentally at a place you want to be. Like there is no rush to finding someone to love, so might as well wait until all your goals are reached or at least closer, so you see them all align! I've struggled with my mental health for over a decade now, and have tried dating numerous times but it just always felt wrong. Now I'm in a different place mentally, still have my issues but I know how to handle it and I know myself so much better, and that makes me feel more equipped to actually start dating for real? Like actually seeing things more long-term and being more comfortable about it. Bc there is not like this big unspoken thing in the middle of everything.. Like sure, many find their partners while down in the gutters, and it works out well, but to me that wouldn't have been healthy. I enjoy having this opportunity in life where I don't hide my past, but it's also not the thing people automatically think of when they think of me? Like now they see ME first. And that means a lot. Bc it is a part of me, not just the past, but it's not the only thing about me. Back then, it was my entire life basically. It hindered me from existing in the way I wanted to. Now I'm more able to enjoy life, and enjoy the small things, see the bigger picture and actually visualize a life for myself that is not just torment and suffering. That makes a big difference. Good luck cutie, you are hella cute but also have a banging personality, so you might think you're being delusional, but girl you will be a massive threat when you feel more comfortable in your body - bc you are already quite the catch! ❤❤
Agree 100%!
I love this girl she’s so funny and smart. This is how most fat people feel were not all cray cray
I absolutely love Kaitlin!! Her good nature just radiates through the screen. Im so glad shes getting the positive attention she deserves!
I can totally understand this. However, the focus as you get older becomes in health. You get tired of what others think and you just DON'T care. You start realizing it's about your physical well-being and ability to live a long life ❤
OMG JOHNNNN!!!! I finally realized who you remind me of!!! I’m sitting here rewatching National Lampoons Christmas - AND YOU LOOK LIKE RUSS, THE SON! Had to come back to this video and tell you that lol
Great content btw, keep up the good work💪💪
Definitely first impressions are predetermined when you're fat but on the plus side when I was morbidly obese no one would sit next to me on a train or bus even when it was crowded I mostly had the seat to myself, once I lost the weight people sat next to me it sucks .😅😅
I love her genuine enthusiasm. It's infectious and makes me like her while not even knowing her at all. Which isn't about her being fat, so I hope she will count that as at least one time where the first thing someone noticed about her was something they liked about her personality.
What I disagree with her about is that her mind isn't going to change at all. We're not that separate. To make such a big change in one's life takes changes on a lot of levels, especially in managing one's mind. That's not what she meant, of course, but I think it's misleading this way the fat activists talk as if they're souls "in a fat body." We are our bodies, and we are our minds, and there are a lot of ways body and mind interact and affect each other. What makes us us has a lot to do with the journeys we take, and she's on a different journey than she was a year ago. Makes her a different person, who will appeal to different people differently, and not just because of personal preferences about weight.
I feel this so much
I love how open and transparent she is. She knows what the truth is and isn't letting anyone tell her otherwise.
People are very polite around how big we are but we don't want to hear it
Imagine how really tall or really short people feel, and they can’t change it.
She is a sweetheart. I’m really hoping good things for her😊
I just started watching your video's recently and I literally can relate to pretty much everything you say! I have been on my own weight loss journey also and I've lost 130 lbs so far but unfortunately I still have a lot to lose! But I do agree with what she's saying. I also hate when please say wow you have such a beautiful face! I would rather never have any compliments! Lol
That’s amazing!!! Great job! Such a huge achievement
This video is super sweet and I appreciate you for making it. I try my best to voice my thoughts that I’m having through this Weightloss journey. Thank you for bringing light to this 🩷
I'm so happy for the gal who is losing weight. So! Much! Respect! Good for her! If she sees this, girl, you keep going. You are going to have a better life! I wish i did it at your age instead of waiting until I am 53 ! Your mindset is so good and so inspiring. ❤
Love your videos! They’re informative and they help keep me on track!
I remember when I was probably around 12, my older brothers friend told me I need to work on being funny because if I was wasn’t funny, I was just fat. It stuck with me and to this day at 33 (down 212 lbs) my humor is my defense mechanism.
It’s definitely a defense mechanism.. Growing up the “ugly friend” or “ugly sibling” is literally why i think i have such a vast sense of humor … Honestly sometimes im grateful for it, because i can make myself laugh harder than anyone
Pumped to hear about the podcast! Love your content ❤
I always felt invisible.
Well, welcome to the world. I'm 5 foot 1 and that's the only thing ever that was said about me. 😂
I like her. She said a lot of things I felt and thought as a woman over 400 pounds.
Me too!
i love seeing her joy and understand it so much! i've lost 30kg this year and hope to get down to 79kg by the end of december 🌞
I feel like I have been lucky in fat journey because I’ve either not experienced this or I didn’t realize it was happening and have lived 36 blissful years not realizing everyone sees me as the fat girl lol. But I’ve never felt it.
I get what she is saying so so much. I literally feel that I need to be perfect to this day. I have to look nice, be polite, be kind, be smart, be funny but not take attention from anyone, I grew up overcompensating because I was obese and I still want to do it now. It’s hard to get out of that cycle because there is a constant feeling that I am letting people down if I don’t overcompensate for being fat, and I’m not fat anymore! 😂
Your statement at 12:15 rings true for me too. I kicked myself cause im doing the things that i always knew i had to do but i like to think im more appreciative of the changes ive made. I never want to be the obese version of me ever again.
It’s great to see her joy in her progress. Rocking 👏 it 👏
I really hope this girl sticks with it. I've been morbidly obese my entire life too up until around 30, had some terrible life situations that flung me almost back up, and finally after around a year of work again I'm hitting a point where I'm happier with myself. I'll be honest, it does kind of irritate me the difference in attention I get from people especially the opposite sex, it almost feels like I'm human to them now because I'm a blip on the radar lol. Moral of the story is if you don't like the way you look, and aren't treated with the respect you want, stay consistent and keep pushing. The changes will come!
ah i like her shes so real and honest about how shes feeling about shit and i love it
She’s seems really sweet. Wish the best for her on journey, she’s doing great
My first thought was that when I was underweight that was also always the first impression I made on people guess its just the 'extremes' that always stand out
That’s awesome man feel so happy for her success
I friggin love her. I smiled so big listening to her she’s lovely
I always call myself fat and people are like no you can't say that about yourself... I am like I am fat it's not belittling myself it is a statement of the truth I am 400lbs I am fat. (I got sick in August with a mystery Fatigue and malaise and aches. I ended up going on AIP diet per Dr and I have lost from highest 55lbs. It's just been coming off without trying, but I know I am probably eating less calories just because I'm not hungry and the nature of the diet since it's a temporary elimination diet to figure out triggers food wise for inflammation.)
However, I had ladies who wouldn't let me call myself fat, but they would be self declared 5-10lbs over weight and get upset if I said they definitely were not fat. Cause if we could have done a body swap I would have been at a strip club raking in the money cause most really did look awesome 😅
I knowelimination diets aren't good long term, but I feel less swollen inside my body. Its similar to how i felt on keto. I feel like it's been better than keto, because I still have carbs and more vitamin and the veg makes it less expensive!!
I’m rooting for you! You gotta do what makes you feel good, it may not be what others do.
AIP was really useful for figuring out some major inflammation triggers fro me-keep forging ahead with adding stuff back in!
@@RenayOpish I haven't gotten to the adding in part yet, 90 days is about a month away. I am excited to atleast have eggs back in my diet, because that used to be a staple of my breakfast. They haven't found out what's going on yet, but everything keeps coming back to an inflammation issue.
@@LifeAfterLosing yeah I mean I have to because where I was in August I couldn't function at all I was just sleeping and felt like I had the flu I litterally barely had the energy to go to the bathroom and get something to drink and eat. Now I can atleast cook and clean and function semi as a human.
@@michellem4118 I’m so happy for you. Just don’t forget all of those things you can do now so it keeps you motivated. Even if it’s small by other people’s standards, it’s a step in the right direction.
i like her she seems like such a sweetheart
I completely believed weight-loss was impossible for me too, then when I found IF and started dropping lbs. I was so thrilled because I knew I could keep it going
I love her personality!
Maybe it's a girl thing but I do believe guys are nicer when you're smaller than bigger. Not saying they are mean to anyone just b/c ur big.
I’ve never been fat a day in my life and nobody has ever gave a shit about anything I have to say either js
The worst part of being fat for me was when family members, would laugh at me, not directly, but i knew it was directed at me, or my sister in law would complain about "how fat she was," when she was very thin. Others perceptions of me did bug me, but i tried to hide that by acting that i really wasn't fat, when i clearly was. It took some time, but i finally lost the weight and look and feel much better, but it took sometime to get there.
I think Kaitlin is adorable and i am happy that she is making changes necessary to get healthy. I was never that big, but losing weight is alot of hard work, but it is so worth it.
Obesetobeast and Cupcake to Beefcake 👌
I never wanna hear anyone from gorlworld say that it’s impossible bc LOOK AT HER GO.
I feel this girl SO much! I'm morbidly obese on a weight loss journey as well. In 35 and have never had a serious relationship and I KNOW it has to do with my weight. I'm truly a hopeless romantic and I LOVE love and yet it gets very lonely not having people pay attention. I agree with her so much! I want to be my healthiest and with that honestly will be my happiest because I'll have the love I really wish to have in my life. . :)
I think for fat men it's different. For starters I've never cared about what other people think about me. I can't control that anyway. Secondly, sure I've never had a ton of girlfriends but I married a beautiful, loving lady and that's all any man of any size can ask for. I've lost about 60lbs but mostly just to feel better and try to reverse the type 2, I have another 50 to go. I think a lot of people care too much what other people think of them.
I so used to do the "I can lose weight what can you do?" Back when I was bigger as well
Being objectively honest about your situation to yourself is necessary for change. Without emotion. Thats where growth happens.
I was called boabab legs, so my aunty showed me this HUGE tree and told me it was a boabab tree, I nearly passed out. My aunty couldn’t stop laughing because I actually had very muscular legs when all the kids had string been legs. Looking back I realise my legs were really nice. Kids can be cruel. Another one said I could kick start a aeroplane ✈️. Looking back I just laugh so much😂😂😂😂. My kids also think it’s hilarious. I’ve learnt that it’s good to laugh at yourself
she's great. & you are too, john!
I just love seeing people feeling better and happier thanks to their successful weight loss.
It's a LOT less pejorative for a man to be called "the big guy" than for a woman to be called "the fat chick"! Rugby players, Boxers etc can be really big. "Big guy" doesn't automatically make you think "fat".
"I don't get to be pretty first." oof, that hits hard. I have side-character syndrome (as I call it), and the moment someone calls me pretty or w/e physical, it almost seems like a lie. I can't believe it because being fat all of my youth I didn't ever get/process someone noticing me and thinking I'm attractive. TBH, I don't think I'll ever get that out. I'll be a person behind an anime icon for the rest of my life... (I'm pretty confident in myself, but when it comes to external physical comments I get so uncertain for a moment.)
Ooh I like her a lot she is so honest I love it
Get out. My strongest impression of her isn’t that she’s fat - it’s that she’s funny, personable and self-depreciating …
… oh, and smart too.
Cupcake...as an INSULT?! That makes ZERO sense. Who doesn't like cupcakes? LOL
I have stage four ckd and I used to be a lot bigger. When I finally got on disability, had consistent housing and food, and wasn’t working myself to death, I lost a lot of weight without really trying (surprise surprise) I feel like fatness is kind of the last bastion for people who need to put others down in order to feel better about themselves. Things like race and sexuality and gender identity are becoming less and less acceptable to make broad generalizations about, but the public perception of obesity is that the person did it to themselves, so they should be free game. People don’t want to think about a person with kidney disease and a food budget of 1$/day, working two jobs with no car,so they convince themselves that I just don’t WANT to be healthy and am lazy and make poor choices. I’m super grateful that I managed to get help before my circumstances did further irreversible damage to my kidneys
Yeah. I feel like things have gotten better as I've gotten older. I don't know if society has changed or just people matured, but the message I got as a kid (who, looking back was barely even overweight!) was definitely that "you are fat and nothing else."
Even kids at school who, I thought, had been my friends, once one guy started calling me fat and got people to join in, I was no longer me...I was just fat in the eyes of all my classmates.
Well when I was fat I had a boyfriend I didn’t wait to loose weight 🤷🏻♀️. But after I lost weight when I met my husband I did tell him that if you would have met me when I was fat you would not ask me out . Now that I’m divorced I been going out with guys that most probably would not have gave me the time or day to go out with me if I was fat like I was before. That’s just how it is
I dated my ex bc he was the type of guy who made fun of me in high school. He still makes fun of me but at least I got him to admit he kinda liked me before breaking up which is a big change
Yup, I relied on my first bf for confidence and assurance bc I was insecure and he told me he liked “bigger girls”. When we would break up I was left with nothing and I couldn’t take it anymore. I lost 90 lbs and get way more male attention. My boyfriend now loves my body but I know he would not have gone out with me when I was my heaviest weight. I’m probably the most chubby girl he’s ever dated and I’m tall and barely 200 lbs lol
I dont think its the best thing for her if she only sees the title of your video
His titles and thumbnails are so bad, they're always so inflammatory and cruel and say the opposite of what the video is about usually. It's kind of like click bait I guess, or ragebait maybe? But it makes him look like a bully
The title is literally pulled from her own point, though. if her own words hurt her, i think she has more pertinent issues to handle. John doing a smidge of click bait cant possibly be the worst thing that's happened to her. If she gets hurt by the title and doesn't watch the video, that's her problem, imo.
@@catherinecox573 I can imagine that a video with a title and certain thumbnail seen by thousands of people that’s all oh my godddd this is so cringe by a rather popular RUclipsr could feel different to irl interactions
@@jordanrambles7127I'm not sure how what you said actually counters anything i said? Looks like a run-on sentence with no clear point.
I don't think it's helpful to assume how someone else may feel. They're responsible for their own feelings. We all can't constantly walk on eggshells because someone, somewhere MIGHT found it offensive. Mine as well never say anything at all. Or live in a total vacuum chamber.
Im so happy for her. Wow... how cute is she when she is happy as opposed to when she was putting people down. I want to lose more weight. Stop eating fruit tingles.... man Im addicted to that sugar hit
I love this woman, I wish we were friends!
It's quite odd that she, and people who are obese and trying to lose weight, use the term "skinny". She's not going to be skinny, she's going to be a healthy weight or an average size. And it does seem like she'll definitely lose a significant amount of weight given her attitude and the success she's already having.
I think “skinny” to someone who is obese can be different than “skinny” to someone who is not. You know how you can “feel fat” but you’re not actually overweight? I think you can “feel skinny” and not be too.
@@tayoj226well said
@@tayoj226 that's probably true. Although I've always thought of skinny as describing someone who is underweight.
I noticed that too. I wish her the best in her weight-loss journey.
@@powderandpaint14 Well I guess you're the language police, huh?
Everyone must speak as you deem proper!
These days when almost every obese girl is trying to convince everyone that it is OKAY to eat crap and be unhealthy...its so nice to see someone who actually want to be healthy and work for it!! I hope she will succeed 🙏🏻
She’s so funny 🤣
She has a lovely voice. I wonder if she sings.
While I'm straight sized, I really struggle with mental health. Many of these words hit home if you replace fat with my diagnosis.
everyone has to prove themselves. someone who is really good looking has to prove that they're smart/caring/charismatic whatever too. every single person is judged on their appearance.
I lost over 100 pounds to be better.. she should use this insight to lose weight so she can feel differently
I think it’s important to remember that everybody has something they are really self conscious about, something that takes over their thoughts and causes anxiety. It may not even be physical. Frankly, often times it’s something that can’t even be fixed or eradicated (like many speech impediments, etc.). Nobody needs to prove anything to strangers. They even made this clear in video by saying people often say something like, “I used to think you were a terrible person [for whatever reason], but then I got to know you”. That is literally the same thing as making a bad having to prove yourself after making a first impression for being fat.
Moreover, the phraseology, how we literally word it, puts the impetus of making a positive first impression back on us; we have to “make” it, it’s all on us. This is bullshit. It’s bullshit because anyone who is truly being themselves and is a kind, compassionate, good human has nothing to prove or no need to impress anyone; who we are is enough. Any other similar human being will also realize this. Outside of a job interview, we have nothing we must prove about our own worthiness. It’s on each of us to be kind, to be compassionate, and to never allow initial judgements, particularly judgments based on physical appearance or things that cannot be helped, to affect us or cloud our thinking.
Still, I realize it’s impossible to expect all humans to behave how we would wish. Knowing this, I simply don’t allow any negativity to affect my own self esteem. I’ve always been heavy, but I am also extremely self confident. I always make a strong first impression by showing who I am not HOW I am physically, etc.. I stand tall, I have a firm hand shake, and even if I’m having a bad day, I act like the most confident person in the room…and I realize that EVERYBODY is self conscious and the main reason they may hone in on my weight is to feel better about themselves. I’ll tell you what, though, when you allow yourself to feel as confident and as worthy about who you are as you have historically allowed yourself to feel like a fat piece of shit, the positivity can and will take over…and then even if a new acquaintance initially thinks you’re just fat it doesn’t matter a single iota because you know differently. I will say, however, that once you no longer give into the negative thoughts, it makes it a lot harder for others to notice and think them.
Remember, people don’t inherently like people only because they’re skinny, they like them because they people radiate their own love and self respect. Unfortunately, folks who are severely self conscious about a specific physical attribute tend to immediately pinpoint that attribute as the thing everyone else always focuses on too. This is particularly true for folks who struggle with their size.
I challenge everyone to take a few days to really and truly act like they are at their ideal size; let your thoughts and actions guide as though you are where you want to physically the very best you can. Then reflect on the experience.
Ever notice how difficult it is to belittle someone whose own self respect doesn’t allow it?
Of course, having said all of the anyone who wants to lose weight to improve how they feel mentally and physically, by all means go for it! Just don’t count on it to change everything…self esteem issues and mental distress is way more than skin/fat cells deep.
I’m Black. The whole world has a conception of what that must mean FOR me. I guarantee they look at that first before they even think about my weight
So I dont care about people having preferences... what bothered me was when guys who were previous rude and mean to me at my largest all of a sudden wanted to get with me when I was thin. Like I would be flattered that I was now worthy of their attention.
My husband met me when I was thinner, I gained wieght and he still loved me and treated me well. Now that im losing weight again he still supports me and encourages me.
People change weights thats normal. You need to be okay with someone when they are struggling and still love and support them.
So many people are like if my spouse gains weight im leaving them. I gained weight due to physical and mental health issues.. now im losing it again. My husband has loved me at my best and through at worst and deserves to love me at my best again and now im overcoming my physical and mental health issues.
He couldve been rude and critical or even left me when I gained the weight... but he chose to love me through it and now gets to be with and enjoy me when im getting healthy. I also have a incredible love and respect for him and the man he is because of how much love and support he has shown he. Hes a quality man.
First impression is your appearance. For strangers that will never get to know you, you're your most noticeable features, even if that is just blue hair. Even online, you're your profile. That's just how people work. That's how it is, as sad and unfair it is in cases of disable people, people with disfigure, fat, etc, I don't see that changing.
I know your channel is focused on the weight issues - but I can guarantee you that as a wildly insecure & introverted red haired, freckled, spectacles wearing little girl I WAS A KALEIDESCAPE of insecurities that I was terrified that every other person I encountered was judging me & was going to embarrass & use against me. SURE OF IT.
Very painful childhood. To top that off abuse reigned in the home.
So..I was friends with the other misfits . ❤ I was hard. Yes indeed. This was the 60s & 70s. We didn't have online PSYCHOTIC WARDS TO enable this mess further either.
I think this is a huge problem with todays generation.
This lady seems to be cool & not mentally weighed down & that makes all the difference in how she'll do. Good for her!
Maybe I missed something. What's the name of your 2nd channel? I don't see a link in the description.
This is what I'm struggling with too, I've lost 125lb and have like 30 left till I hit my goal...I've never dated, mostly because I didn't feel good enough.....being close to my goal I am feeling lonely and would love to have a boyfriend.....but I think waiting until I'm perfect is the only option for me.
As someone who has lost weight I just want you to encourage you to appreciate who you are now. You will not feel better about yourself when you lose the weight. You will find something else that will hold you back. I am not saying to give up your health journey just realize that being lighter than you are now doesn’t fix emotional issues. Good luck.
@@andrewzach1921 oh, I know that, this isn't just weight loss.....this is my phoenix rising time.....I've hidden from the world in total isolation, no friends, never dating, not worth any one getting to know.... I am working hard in all aspects of my life, becoming the best version of myself, healing trauma, becoming resilient, strong and happy.... I am focusing on God and being guided on my next paths....going from being discussed with myself to being indifferent and now so proud and hopeful...the person I was had to survive so that this new version can thrive... I am looking for human connections both friends and romantic...just want to be a part of the world and not be afraid anymore!
She's so lovely! 😍
I get the only seeing being fat first. I work in commission sales and before I lost weight people would refer to me as the "heavy set white girl" To preference that I work in a place that has a majority black women of all sizes. Now I wear my hair down (because I don't get as hot at work anymore) and its long so now people refer to me as the white girl with really long brown hair 😂 But also I think people don't bother to remember sales people names thats why we want to put things on hold/get your phone number to "touch base"
I lost 110lb and the first thing I see is my collarbones
I disagree when she says, “I am still going to be me.” No, you’re changing all around-physically, mentally and emotionally. One will not look at a situation the same way when going through this journey. Everything shifts.
498 is wild
We are all independently responsible for the way we impress ourselves upon others. If you make no effort to show who you are on a first impression then of course the first available descriptor is what people will default to. But it’s just patently untrue that people will never see anything other than your weight first if you’re fat. It’s just false. If you walk into a room with greasy hair in a headband wearing a schlubby T-shirt with your head down because you’re self-conscious, of course that’s all people are going to see from you. Because that’s all you have offered to show them.
i get what she’s saying
This is the case for all his videos; I dont think he can ever really grasp what the people he talks about feels or go through because being a fat woman is a very different experience than being a fat man.