Guys Who Want You Then Pulled Away | HERE’S WHY…
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- Опубликовано: 22 авг 2024
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Get Him To Commit Before Sleeping Together (The Dating Vow)
Have you ever heard the saying: Women are the gatekeepers of sex, and men are the gatekeepers of commitment?
The "Dating VOW" Before Sleeping Together
I ___________________ agree to explore the process of getting to know you with the intent to declare something serious in the next 3 to 6 months.
I ___________________ agree to be monogamous sexually while we have regular sex together.
I ___________________ agree to not actively seek to meet/date others while we are in this dating process (including taking down dating profiles)
I ___________________ agree to speak up if this isn't working for me vs. pulling back, ghosting, or disappearing.
I __________________ agree to invest regular time in this process of getting to know you, which looks like this ______________
90% of men will bail on this because thousands of women will have sex without any commitment/agreement whatsoever. If all women are banned together (from now on), this will change how men treat/view sex, but in the meantime, if he does agree, you have a better chance of commitment than without it. (btw, this is merely an opinion)
FREE Call with Jonathon► jonathonaslay.com/coaching
I almost died when I was 5.. Death is nothing to be afraid of... When the life force starts to leave the body, it's VERY PEACEFUL 🤗🤗🤗...
It seems like every man I've encountered in dating in my age group (60s) thats intelligent, successful start pulling away & they're the ones that say "I love you" first. It's like you want to tell each of them, "Grow up & decide what you really want instead of asking ME what I want!"
Made a lot of sense
I understand
60s????Oh man I'm doomed 🤦🏾♀️
It feels like I am being played. He said slow and steady. But doesn't want a relationship AFTER he said he was looking for a wife. He's not ready. Over it. I'm a great catch. His loss.
Were there any clues?
None of them want a relationship
Talk is cheap.
I've given plenty of thought about what I want. Not marriage, not live together. Life partner, monogamy. I believe you can have a healthy, exclusive, committed relationship and not live under the same roof as long as you don’t live too far from each other and spend weekends together and at least a couple of nights during the week.
A man doesn't pull away from what he wants,, he don't want you. Don't want what doesn't want you.
That's is over simplifying it but I think the biggest thing is to not put energy into flaky people. They might want you but don't have what it takes, and they know it.
We really don’t know the reason it can be many , just ask
@@SC-li6pf exactly
I say if your a woman never give a man money even if you are in a relationship with him. Nothing makes me madder than a young man coming up to you in public asking a woman for money. That infuriates me. I was in a long distance relationship (5hrs away) and he wanted me to sell my stuff and move over by him. The relationship was too one sided and I decided I wasn't going anywhere. I've always been the one to move and give up everything for a man and that is really not a wise thing to do because when it didn't work out I was the one who had to pick up and move and start my life over. They conveniently carried on with their life without hardly a ripple. He wasn't willing to move over with me or even offer to help me move over with him. So all and all I'm glad I made the decision to stay put. I've pretty much decided that if I do get into a serious relationship with anyone and he wants to do the move in thing I'll let him maybe move in with me and thats a biggggg maybe. That way if he gets squirly things go south then I can give him the boot and stay put. I'm finally wising up in my old age lol. Took long enough.
Exactly!!!
We woman are -romantically naive,waiting when I forgot him , almoust he contacted me that he us coming, from far and didnt come. Now he couldnt obviously, I saw ,we dont have contact. But he could this autumn instead going to another country.there are cultural diff.but he shouldnt gave ne a hope before, again. They could have feelings, yes, but there is no effort. We cant wait forever. I realased that I should heal my childhood, work on my job myself instead looking in his inst.account long time. More videos like that .great topic. Many people are lonely and they have online loves, life, not real.
👍 Laurie
👍👍👍
So glad there is this channel! I am 44 and i find I cannot relate to the channels of people in their 20s. Much love.
Telling a man you won't engage in sex for 90 days in to the relationship is not only a turn off...but a trigger for a competitive man... he may just wait and be a total prince bc he sees it as a challenge.... and once he gets his prize (your va-jay-jay) he'll most likely be on his way
But the point of 90 days is to of tell him and see how he reacts without telling him 🎉
What stood out for me most in this and the last few videos is the abcense of your upbeat personality and sense of humour. Not judging, just concern. Where did you go, you seem to be getting smaller, less visible. I hope you are spending your energy living happily ever after. I know you are telling us when to pay attention so a gentle reminder to do a self check in. Can someone check all the boxes and still not be the right one. Retorical
Yes Jonathon you are making an enormous difference and ‘ we can use more love in our lives’
Your content is making a difference! Your advice and personal stories have made me stronger. Thank you!
I'm so glad!
My last relationship of 3 years, it felt like a roomate instead of a team.
Good stuff as always. I pegged my guy early on not being ready to be in a relationship. We've been friends almost 25 years and decided to try a relationship after each of us divorced. His divorce was horrible. We are excellent friends, not so great at being lovers. He pulled away, started a few weeks ago. He's just really weird now. I'd rather have my friend back, but sex has made this impossible. At 50, I'm know what I want. He has an issue expressing what he wants. I have more time behind me than ahead of me. I'm done. It hurts, but it's best. Thank you so much for your awesome analysis.
If you met the love of your life tomorrow, would he still be a close friend in your life (if you had the friendship back)?
It was only your pants for him
@@mamaknow8056 What does only your pants for him even mean?
@@MassageMagick1111 🤣🤣🤣
That’s gross. Friends for 25 years, then having a sexual relationship sounds more like an incestual relationship, even though it’s not. It really sounds wrong.
Went on first date ask guy what he wants in a woman, his needs and wants out of a relationship. 46 and cant answer the question says he doesn't know. Text next day sorry but I am 38 and know what I want and that being his age and not knowing is a red flag. Good luck and move on not worth my time.
You are making such a difference! I don't know how I happened on to this, but am addicted to it!
Jonathon this is my far the best share I’ve ever heard from you! I appreciate your wisdom, shared life experience and investment in Human Behavior, from which I have needed enormously. YES ! You have made a HUGE CONTRIBUTION AND DIFFERENCE in my Personal Development! I APPRECIATE you 🙏🏼
I appreciate that!
Yay Jonathon! I am still not much closer to finding my personal beloved, but here are some random that I haven't yet put into practice. (It's complicated.)
(Love your "no glasses" look!)
So here's how your content has retooled my dating practices:
1.) Women are the drivers in the relationship/partnership, marriage, etc. and we no longer have to wait for the match wannabe to make the first move. No longer a victim of dating frustration, we can do the shopping, just like the guys, and set the parameters. Back in the Boomer/Gen X days, we hesitated making the first move because we feared rejection. Of course, we can still get a rejection, but now in 2023, we can use that rejection and information to create a new match.
2.) We are now able to (comfortably) voice our concerns early on, about a possible relationship, but the other person might reject you of course, saying something (or nothing) like you are too pushy, too bossy, too controlling, and they are "certainly aren't ready for THAT yet." NEXT CASE!
3.) It is now generally OK to share and explore differences right out of the starting gate, because if the other dude doesn't want what you want, "HE'S THE WRONG GUY"
4.) It is now recommended that for your first date with a candidate, and maybe for subsequent dates as well, you bring with you a hard copy of your list of requirements, and at the end of the date when he says a vague "hey this was fun" or a passing "I'll call you" and jumps into his car, you KNOW he's gone, and gone from your list of favorites as well.
5.) The line "Lets just see where it goes" You already KNOW "where it goes".
Great Feedback... it's when someone else is not on the ground with their Lives!👍
Exactly!!!
More videos like that. Great video. We all live in the Dreams, waiting, no effort instead change something and working on ourselves or our Carrer.
Well said!
PS: yes, you are making a difference 🤗 I found myself saying a wish list while I was at work today 🤩
Thank you Jonathan 🙏
🙏
4:49 thank you for reminding me that I am supposed to be listening to marriage advice not co-habitation advice. I have ZERO interest in being his wife/maid/“partner” who he is not committed to. The rest of these levels of situationships do not matter to me at all.
Speaking truth is a great problem for some
Thank you very much for this video. This one really hit home and very helpful. Thank you!!
Hi johnathan i think man that pull away because i think they think they will find someone better or they get bored with the same person man like my boyfriend is a flirt he is 72 i am 64 he was always a flirt what can i do any advice
This is a great one Jonathan. I think that you develop a soul tie when you sleep with someone. Like the example of vanilla sky with Cameron Diaz. Your body makes a promise.
Indeed
Yes Jonathon you’ve made an impact!
I enjoy your perspective. You are genuinely honest and give me hope. I am experiencing a radical change in my life And want to know more re: personal coaching. I have been following your podcast I think that's the right terminology. And did a screen shot to get your email address. Might be a few weeks cause between what I'm experiencing presently and Christmas in 3 weeks, time is flying by too fast, to meet the demands. I just want to say, Thank you. You are a breath of fresh air, as I am trading water and trying to stay in the right frame of mind and keep myself from drowning
Take all the time you need and contact me here: www.jonathonaslay.com/coaching Have A Happy Holidays...
I have dated someone for a couple of months and he was very intense at first, Even introducing me to members of his family and a very good friend with the first few dates. But he is extremely afraid of commitment and said that will scare him away faster than anything. I don't like to I have more than one guy at a time so I pretty much told him that yeah I'm only dating you. I feel like we have taken a couple of steps backwards since that conversation. But I needed to ask him where he stood.
I think you are a great coach. I open mu eyes to understanding how to approach the men and relationships ❤
I appreciate that!
Lying to them is a hobby.
I am an open book, tell most, till a longer friendship can handle all. Most men don't do that so much. I see this after your video with Marie and I have to say, that I wouldn't have put up with the way you didn't seem interested in the beginning. I wouldn't have called you after a week, if you are not interested apparently. Is that wrong? I always think if I would like to kiss the person, if not, I am not interested. Being intimate (sex) is not on the table for a while and I make that very clear! No friends with benefits, no no no! Thank you for your video's
AGREED! ONCE THEY HAVE SEX WITH YOU, YOU WILL LIKELY NEVER SEE OR HEAR FROM THEM AGAIN.
MY SELF WORTH IS GREATER THAN THAT!!! AND YOURS IS TOO!!!
Your best yet. Such words of wisdom.
WOW, thank you 😊
Wow! My Ex does all that you said about emotional immaturity...oh Jonathan, where were you 23 years ago? Everyone convinced me to stay with him when I wanted to leave him because he 'is a good guy!' Now all that resentment is geared at me... of course, why wouldn't it be? We know I'm responsible for making the seasons change and the weather 🤭...SMH!
I definitely thrive on teamwork- I want a partner, especially when I have young children and sometimes they do too. I love it but admit, can't do it alone.
My first self help book btw was LOVE by Leo Buscaglia - I was all of 11 or 12 when I picked it up lol I probably should take another look. But, I was raised a bit East meets West being my Mom welcomed all religions & we also have relatives from Indonesia and the Philippines - Bless! Namaste!
That bump in the road is used as an exit strategy by alot of guys. That way they dont have to appear as the bad guy.
Just so much disrespect for the most part having no consequences for men!
Thank You for picking my comment on your live❣️
I really appreciate this video, Jonathan. it's really helpful
Glad it was helpful!
Those text message relationships remind me of a song by Jessie j and it's called technology😂
My GF and I love Netflix and chill. Netflix and Chill brings many opportunities to discuss topics and issues in relationships as they occur on screen.
I usually keep a notebook next to my chair and as a subject comes up I write it down to discuss later
That's awesome!!!
Because they’re with another woman. Mystery solved 😂
Not always...
Love your content! U are MY authority. 💪
I think they disappear if they either met someone new or went back to the previous girl. i.e. they are not serious and you were a rebound.
Great videos! Is there a way you could have the volume be louder? Thank you!
It seems fine on my system... will try
And then there are situationships😂. Those that are too disfunctional to be called a relationship.
Exactly
Love this
I'm sorry, a woman will give a man 💰 for what? Beyond my comprehension. I take cyber security classes which I highly recommend everyone take, even if you don't think you are a target. These criminals are incredibly obvious when you know what to spot.
I agree. Don't do it ladies. Just don't.
Yes, I agree. I Dox Pop anyone I chat with on a regular basis.
I just went through this a guy that's we have been flirting for almost 5 years exactly a month shy of 5 years and i finally give him my number and he dissapeared. Like what the heck we are like mirrors every signal we vibe until he decided to play Casper and i just don't understand.
Forget him for a moment, why did you choose to engage in a 5 year cyber relationship?
Life is work!
Living together without the benefit of marriage is clearly a sin
.
Will send $, appreciate your input
I'm watching this to find out why I do this
I just recently became single. After a 8 r relationship and after listening to this videos for the last few months I'm scared to go back out there on the dating scene I don't even know where to start looking for somebody else to date would you recommend online dating?!
Don't bother. Be on your own you were in a relationship for years.
I wouldn't recommend those "plant based" substances.. I've heard too many horror stories. And you have no idea what you are letting in..
To me, "plant based ..." just means doing mushrooms in your 20s overseas, or when you're 15 in school in the 2000s. It's just so - adolescent. Then we grow up and move on. Old people doing it just missed out in youth.
And I agree- there are so many substances and "teachers" who don't want to call a medic when it's needed.
What is stonewalling? Netflix and wine that’s fine. Men in their 50s don’t want relationship but can enjoy a night in.
ty ty
Question a man who wants to meet to be a friendship relationship ???
Excellent video
Thank you very much!
Jonathan is an expert because thousands of us believe he is .
Is that a good thing? 😉
@@JonathonAslay yes, it is , Jonathan !
Interesting. Good idea to get home together.
What resources or which people do you recommend to those of us over 80 who seek to be with partners?
Anzio
not loud enough i have volume on highest
Noted...
After a two-month relationship my boyfriend started to force me to give him all my wage on every pay day. HE will save the money for our future life together which I refused. He only needed someone to help him pay the rent, to "serve" him at night ...
That's wrong for him to ask...
To sponge on the other party
Thanks!
Thanks for your support 🙏
I think when she says no Netflix and chilling she means that's not how we do a relationship because there's a lot of people out there. Just ask for that and won't do dates to just get in bed.
❤ Thank you ❤
Yes establish standards earlier on
Exactly
Sometimes Jonathon you just piss and moan enough. You have a good life a good book. 🎉
Wow !
you just get
better and better.
So glad you are happy
and in love. You even look younger. congratulations to both of you.
Thank you so much!!
How can I know when you are going to be live?
It varies... Monday and Tuesday at 5pm PST
Wayne Dyer
I will never give money to a MAN
If a man does not accept marriage proposal does that mean he’s not gonna shit on the pot?
Maybe
Hi j..
? Am I acting 'spoiled' if I tell my 'boyfriend' of over a year that when we go out to the karaoke club where he slept ME off my feet with his flirtatiousness, (Sodom and Gomorrah I affectionately call that place) and I'm feeling like I don't wanna be there cause he's everywhere without me.., he should know by now, I'm wanting extra attention and his touch by hand holding, an embrace or just his company making me feel loved like I can show him off and I'm hoping he'll give me his 80% let's say of his attention like he's happy he's there with me... Shouldn't someone 'in love' with you be automatically doing that without me hinting and asking him too.... He's dealing with a lot though now but dang...
A healthy relationship is loving... and should do things together ❤️
Sex after marriage!!.
Q. What if he says he does not know where its going?
Yes!!!!!!
I think you are the best ever - I’m a disciple of Jonathon.❤️
I’m extremely open too Jonathon and people can be uncomfortable with that.😊
You never answer my questions🥲Jonathon.🤗
I think he only reads comments in the 24 hours after it was put up.
He has said a lot about that question you ask.
Maybe he is a narcissist??
Last guy who pulled away. He found out I am 5 years sober. He drinks. Just disappeared. No discussion at all.
Does being married to the same man make me an authority on marriage?
So I read the book Getting the Love you Want over 20 years ago. Two parts of book hit me as very relevant. You can't change your spouse. A spouse's habits, personality and reaction modes are rooted in their old brain or the reptilian brain. The other was, try and be someone who is easy to get along with. My husband did not want to read this book. The fact that I read it did help. Two simple principles that are relevant. The whole book is worth reading.
All I know is that a man or woman who can't even date another person effectively and show they really care, probably is not worth staying with never mind marry. So a person needs to listen to their gut instincts.
Hence another point is people are thriving being single. A very big societal change has happened.
No. It just says you have a lot of endurance and you've probably put up with a lot of crap from one guy instead of multiple guys lol.
Yes, on your marriage.
Thanks!
You're welcome 😊