The secret to human weaponry is understanding an object's functions and limitations completely and then utilising them. Understand this, and a simple 2 part query is all that's required to make anything a weapon. "How can that kill you?" "And how can that, kill you?" For the algorithm.
Seeing something, poking at it, understanding it and using it. Thats How gamers breaks games or establish Speedruns... And we are very effective at it.
This story reminds me of a business lunch I had with a contractor about 15 years ago. We both had to travel a lot for our jobs, so the subject of airport and airline securty came up. During the conversation, I made the point that the security measures where worthless, and then went on to tell him in detail, how to make an incindiary device, using materials available on the airport concourses, after security. Think hand sanitizer, and vodka. Josh looked at me, and said damn, you can be scarey, at which point I swatted at a flie, and accidentally pulled a Miyagi, catching it between my fingers for all to see. Good times.
Listen, and understand. That Algorithm is out there. It can’t be bargained with. It can’t be reasoned with. It doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are chosen...
The second story had me dying, not because of the story itself, but because of the mental image I had of someone hitting "pizza" on a microwave and realizing it jammed the ftl frequency XD
When I read the title out and saw "Humanity's weapons" as one of them my mind shifted over to Monty Python and the Spanish Inquisition skit where they say "Among our weapons" or "Our Chief weapons are." With me quietly dying for a few seconds.
I Can see how lies might be strange to aliens if all said aliens communicate in a form of telepathy amongst their own species, or some other more direct form of communication, but if you evolved to use words in an environment where lies work, I can't see a case where lies would not be invented.
The premise of the story seems to be that before humanity any species that developed the ability to lie has one of three fates before humanity rise to FTL civilization. 1. Never made it past tribal/Stone age before murdering to levels where genetic diversity was too low to sustain sentience (likely because intentionally lying for personal gain was invented almost simultaneously with the birth of sentience) 2. Stagnated in constant wars until planet became uninhabitable for sentient species (either through damage to planet or natural disaster like star death or mass extinction level asteroid strike) 3. Direct annihilation via weapons of mass destruction (someone didn't fully grasp M.A.D. after gaining power and used something that shouldn't have been used in a planetary environment)
@@patrickardagh-walter6609 Guido Fawkes! but I went with fox cause I’m 1) dyslexic 2) couldn’t be arsed checking the spelling 3) the majority of people on RUclips arn’t British (so if they have heard the name don’t know the spelling) But mostly I was being lazy
@@nvfury13 no… he was upset with the English monarchy and government murdering Catholics and their priests… He took a stand against what was essentially genocide. Was he wrong?
To be fair, the magnetrons used in microwave ovens were originally used in radar technology, though we didn't make them small enough for our kitchens until a scientist needed a way to defrost live hamsters without inflicting painful burns.
unless they are the Blind Idiot God now that one is unstoppable and will never die or be defeated because all of countless infinite multiverses are nothing more than its dream its the lord of all things...
the first story is why you don't go around killing gods,whoever worshiped them will try to find new ones, you supplicate or try to pacify them for a far longer term victory.
Amazing idea: someone tells a hfy story in the form of someone telling a story and ends it word for word with Afro squerril’s outro insinuating that even in 500 years when we’re in space he’s still telling tales of grandeur
@@AgroSquerril I know. I know. Sorrowfully. It kind of gave me a Hellboy / Warhammer vibe. That inbetween of gunpowder and halberd fantasy setting. It was really good. There are so many good fanfic writers.
@@Hektols Weeelll.. I agree. But they live thousands of years. If you can't make a proper hammer after a 1000 year, than.. yeah.... Fuck that guy. Also yes, snobs.
Greetings Mentlegent! For the rhtythm that is Algo Story 1: This time, the "higher" races forced humans to ally with the literal Orcs. Story 2: The truth hurts. So lie instead.
A sword can kill, They can be used to rip things apart, Swords can fight wars Words however can destroy, They can be used to fell empires, Words can be used to win wars
I am loving these! The stories are glorious and the narrator just makes it perfect. Thank you AgroSquerrils and until next time I hope you have a fantastic day. Cheers!
In the first story I hoped they panicked when they found out that Death was backing their enemies. Because the more they kill the stronger that god becomes.
i'm trying to find that mental war/battle one where humans sent 2 plosavers 2 war vets and a human with a extremely shitty life summoned death to fight for them and won.(sorry for misspellings/grammer auto correct is not getting them all.)
That last one is similar to an example I heard about to describe politics where a father is making these deals to get his son rich by promising the something that he doesn’t have at the moment, and then proceeds to negotiate with the next guy to gain the very thing that was promised in the last deal.
It is not "d-mof-the-tomb" but rather "D-M-of-the-tomb." DM is short for dungeonmaster, a role[laying game term for the one who controls the stories and narrative world and non-player characters.
Sigh might as well do it again but only with two comments... So I won't risk being Marked as spam.. luckily I didn't get marked for spam for my last comments...
Humans and death, like chocolate and peanut butter, or cocaine and hookers. Both are pretty unhealthy, but you really get the most with both of them together.
So the emperor was right then, using the wail of negotiations as a means to perform a sneak attack on the enemy leaders is indeed what a barbaric species would do… now how are they going to negotiate peace once they either get dominated or completely dominate the enemy? They can’t send a message anymore cause nobody will trust their messengers not to be going to attack… Sure it sound good in a short story that only deals with this exact encounter, but humanity have just doomed them self to a war of annihilation, just so they could have a cheap shot at the enemy leader…
Hunanitys' Weapons cracks me up. I use them all the time! ( mostly with the welfare and other govt depts that WILL give me the money because I know the rules and took 6th Form English. Learned how to lie with the truth, some of the truth and some stuff I made up but they can't prove)
@@AgroSquerril Do you mean "mental" as in the mind? I can't find anything on "mentle." In any case, that doesn't make any sense. Who counts as a mentle gent? What does it refer to?
The US and Japan were not at war when the later attacked by surprise and it didn't suffer for centuries submited to the stronger nation. The human in the first story clearly declared war before he blew himself, killing the tyrant and his court, it's not the same.
![Noob To Max With DRAGON REWORK In Blox Fruits [FULL MOVIE]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/LnBMOinoOvA/mqdefault.jpg)
The secret to human weaponry is understanding an object's functions and limitations completely and then utilising them. Understand this, and a simple 2 part query is all that's required to make anything a weapon.
"How can that kill you?" "And how can that, kill you?"
For the algorithm.
Seeing something, poking at it, understanding it and using it.
Thats How gamers breaks games or establish Speedruns...
And we are very effective at it.
This story reminds me of a business lunch I had with a contractor about 15 years ago. We both had to travel a lot for our jobs, so the subject of airport and airline securty came up. During the conversation, I made the point that the security measures where worthless, and then went on to tell him in detail, how to make an incindiary device, using materials available on the airport concourses, after security. Think hand sanitizer, and vodka.
Josh looked at me, and said damn, you can be scarey, at which point I swatted at a flie, and accidentally pulled a Miyagi, catching it between my fingers for all to see. Good times.
Everything is a weapon if you hit/thow hard enought
true
Exactly any machine has the potential of being an explosive if use wrong enough.
Or have high Charisma
@@Emerald__Ace or turned into a smoke machine at the minimum.
Corollary: Anything is air-dropable. At least once, anyway.
Decapitation strike, well executed.
Also: Stretched negotiating positions. So very elegant.
Listen, and understand. That Algorithm is out there. It can’t be bargained with. It can’t be reasoned with. It doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are chosen...
'Terminator theme intencifies'
For the algorithm
@@AgroSquerril You've been chosen by the algorithm. Every day, your videos from last year pop up in my Recommendations by the dozen.
:-)
Clever … for the algorithm
The second story had me dying, not because of the story itself, but because of the mental image I had of someone hitting "pizza" on a microwave and realizing it jammed the ftl frequency XD
omg
😂🤣😂🤣💀
When I read the title out and saw "Humanity's weapons" as one of them my mind shifted over to Monty Python and the Spanish Inquisition skit where they say "Among our weapons" or "Our Chief weapons are." With me quietly dying for a few seconds.
I Can see how lies might be strange to aliens if all said aliens communicate in a form of telepathy amongst their own species, or some other more direct form of communication, but if you evolved to use words in an environment where lies work, I can't see a case where lies would not be invented.
And have a species spread all over your home world all developing there own nations and language. In can make luring a more profitable endever
The premise of the story seems to be that before humanity any species that developed the ability to lie has one of three fates before humanity rise to FTL civilization.
1. Never made it past tribal/Stone age before murdering to levels where genetic diversity was too low to sustain sentience (likely because intentionally lying for personal gain was invented almost simultaneously with the birth of sentience)
2. Stagnated in constant wars until planet became uninhabitable for sentient species (either through damage to planet or natural disaster like star death or mass extinction level asteroid strike)
3. Direct annihilation via weapons of mass destruction (someone didn't fully grasp M.A.D. after gaining power and used something that shouldn't have been used in a planetary environment)
Guy Fox: the last man in the uk to walk into parliament with honest intentions.
His intention was mass murder for the purpose of the ascendency of a totalitarian theocracy…
@@nvfury13 While true, it does not change the validity of Tony's statement.
*Guy Fawkes
@@patrickardagh-walter6609 Guido Fawkes!
but I went with fox cause I’m 1) dyslexic 2) couldn’t be arsed checking the spelling 3) the majority of people on RUclips arn’t British (so if they have heard the name don’t know the spelling)
But mostly I was being lazy
@@nvfury13 no… he was upset with the English monarchy and government murdering Catholics and their priests…
He took a stand against what was essentially genocide.
Was he wrong?
Weaponised microwave ovens, Who's been spying on my cooking?
To be fair, the magnetrons used in microwave ovens were originally used in radar technology, though we didn't make them small enough for our kitchens until a scientist needed a way to defrost live hamsters without inflicting painful burns.
@@aynonymos wait really
@@aynonymos In the name of Gralrgototh, the heck is this?
@@Crazylom im not familiar with the name but im guessing its from lovecraft.
@@QuesoCucuy I made it up, but ye, it does sound Lovecraftian.
Gral'gototh would do better justice tho
Well you can't really go bigger than death, Hunh. Even gods have to die sometime
unless they are the Blind Idiot God
now that one is unstoppable
and will never die or be defeated
because all of countless infinite multiverses
are nothing more than its dream
its the lord of all things...
how about Death^2 ?
@@Vit-Pokorny
thats basically azeroth
but he is a dumb as a squirrel
and very hungry
eats gods like people eat M&M's
@@chongwillson972 If there name can be spoken and they cannot affect the creators then they are no truly powerful being.
@@johnjohnjohnson7720
say that again.
"Let us In, Before we cast YOU out."
You killed our gods allow me to return the favor. For the algorithm.
For the algorithm
Absolutely love these sci-fi stories, I only found these stories about a week ago but I have watched so many of these now
Glad you are enjoying
I
Oh dam didn't mean to write that
Same, I’ve been binging them like crazy. Even on the drive to/from work.
@@MrXcelent definitely recommend listening to The Nature of Predators (171 current chapters!)
This channel does em too
the first story is why you don't go around killing gods,whoever worshiped them will try to find new ones, you supplicate or try to pacify them for a far longer term victory.
Or even gradually integrate them and make your god/gods more favorable. In time you could convince the majority to your cause
No, the lession is to make all elven races extinct fast enough that they cant reach a point of power
All that is missing now is a rich Nigerian prince requesting economic aid from alien empires with a promise of doubling what was given to them
Its your cousin satule on earth I need some money to get off planet!
U my have magic... But that won't stop a good old explosive firepower.
These are little treats that help me get through my days. Thank you for all you do hope all is well with you and yours.
A Pleasure and i am glad that they help. We are doing as best as we can
Amazing idea: someone tells a hfy story in the form of someone telling a story and ends it word for word with Afro squerril’s outro insinuating that even in 500 years when we’re in space he’s still telling tales of grandeur
I really liked the fantasy setting. I would welcome more of those.
They are rare in oneshot format
@@AgroSquerril I know. I know. Sorrowfully. It kind of gave me a Hellboy / Warhammer vibe. That inbetween of gunpowder and halberd fantasy setting. It was really good. There are so many good fanfic writers.
Yes, screw elves, it's annoying how they make them better at everything.
@@Hektols Except not getting blown the hell up in this case.
@@Hektols Weeelll.. I agree. But they live thousands of years. If you can't make a proper hammer after a 1000 year, than.. yeah.... Fuck that guy. Also yes, snobs.
Flick, flick.......BOOM!!!!¡! Let the Bodies hit the floor!!!!!!
🤘
Greetings Mentlegent!
For the rhtythm that is Algo
Story 1: This time, the "higher" races forced humans to ally with the literal Orcs.
Story 2: The truth hurts. So lie instead.
A sword can kill, They can be used to rip things apart, Swords can fight wars
Words however can destroy, They can be used to fell empires, Words can be used to win wars
Nah
Neither the pen nor sword is mighty, mighty is the hand that knows when the right time is to use either
Well, war is an art of diplomacy too.
I am loving these! The stories are glorious and the narrator just makes it perfect. Thank you AgroSquerrils and until next time I hope you have a fantastic day. Cheers!
A pleasure , glad you are enjoying it
I enjoy all of Agro Squirrel Narrates videos
FOR THE HORDE!
For the Horde!
WRAAGGHH! For the Warchief!
This second one made me smile.
great story!
F. T. A.
glad you enjoyed :) For the algorithm
I like how you voice the Emperor like Roz from Monsters Inc.
I had thought better of the halflings. Oh well.
What did you think they'd do? Go to war with the elves and dwarves on behalf of the humans?
@@DavidJoh I was hoping they would go home and enjoy a sandwich.
elevensies
@@dhermitmorse They probably did when they weren't being forced to show up at court in genuflect.
Bob the dragon has met death
Hi Bob
Lies? Deception? All I see is creative diplomacy.
lol true
For The Algorithm!
And the RNGesus Random Number Pantheon
For the algorithm
Now that's one way to send a message.
yup
For the Author(s), for the narrator Agro Squirrel, for the algorithm !!!
For the imperium
All hail the algorithm ... five words minimum.
For the algorithm thm thm
To please the algorithm is all
For the author!
For the narrator!
For the algorithm!!
For human ingenuity!
Ha! You can’t kill our God! He kicked Death’s ass!
That second story, did the humans just do the freakin Bill Gates Con?
Blessed be the Squerril
A lie can run around the world before the truth has got its boots on
Never thought humanity would weaponize the "popcorn" button....
This reminds me of Warhammer Fantasy for some reason. Or warcraft, mostly due to the gun powder thing. Of gate Jietai, and Drifters.
ahh the often misquoted pen is mightier than the sword line . If i remember .IT is the pen is only as mighty as the sword raised in its defence.
Nah "the pen is stronger than the sword" is old
Let's use "the pencil is more brutal than the gun"
Why did I suspect gunpowder when the barrels were mentioned?
I always wanted humans to shine as negotiatiors
In the first story I hoped they panicked when they found out that Death was backing their enemies. Because the more they kill the stronger that god becomes.
And a species so familiar with Death, like humans, is to be feared if provoked, for they often call Death, an old friend of theirs.
_"All warfare is based on deception..."_
Death sends his regards.
ARCHERBALD NO!
second story, basically, humans tried an asspull, and got rewarded big over it along with possibly of others at that point in time
Nicely done
Story 2 makes us sound like the Ferengi out of Star Trek 😅😂🤣.
Kamikaze for the win.
In a dnd setting I’m playing in a city of necromancer heretic elves exist, I might use a similar strategy
Depending on when the actual treaties were signed, they might have only been lies for a few minutes or days.
i'm trying to find that mental war/battle one where humans sent 2 plosavers 2 war vets and a human with a extremely shitty life summoned death to fight for them and won.(sorry for misspellings/grammer auto correct is not getting them all.)
That last one is similar to an example I heard about to describe politics where a father is making these deals to get his son rich by promising the something that he doesn’t have at the moment, and then proceeds to negotiate with the next guy to gain the very thing that was promised in the last deal.
Deception is just too effective of a tool for it to not develope everywhere even if it started by someone simply being wrong.
It is not "d-mof-the-tomb" but rather "D-M-of-the-tomb." DM is short for dungeonmaster, a role[laying game term for the one who controls the stories and narrative world and non-player characters.
whoops
Why do people thumbs down this youtuber? If you didn't like the story comment that you didn't.
no idea , maybe they don't like my narration of that story
Remember, remember the 5th of November.
The pin is mightier than the sword but not as of much use in a dark alley.
Death and Lies. Sounds about right lol
FTA
For the algorithm
Nice I’m right on time
keeper going
kept going
The lanister send their regard
Sigh might as well do it again but only with two comments... So I won't risk being Marked as spam.. luckily I didn't get marked for spam for my last comments...
It was a good try though, well done.
Humans and death, like chocolate and peanut butter, or cocaine and hookers.
Both are pretty unhealthy, but you really get the most with both of them together.
So the emperor was right then, using the wail of negotiations as a means to perform a sneak attack on the enemy leaders is indeed what a barbaric species would do… now how are they going to negotiate peace once they either get dominated or completely dominate the enemy? They can’t send a message anymore cause nobody will trust their messengers not to be going to attack…
Sure it sound good in a short story that only deals with this exact encounter, but humanity have just doomed them self to a war of annihilation, just so they could have a cheap shot at the enemy leader…
Hunanitys' Weapons cracks me up. I use them all the time! ( mostly with the welfare and other govt depts that WILL give me the money because I know the rules and took 6th Form English. Learned how to lie with the truth, some of the truth and some stuff I made up but they can't prove)
Mhmm,Golden throne, God Emperor, Warhammer 40k everyone?
True
Where did the join button go?
They moved it , should be next to the subscribe button a little lower down than before
HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Hell yes!
For the algorithm!
neat
:)
you sound better, i think? you okay grampa?
that's good to hear; i hpe you fare well!
FTA!
For the algorithm
For the Algorithm!
We just bullshit them in to peace
sounds about right
Technically it wasn't lying, IT could have been true and it was eventually true
For the algorithm
アルゴリズムの場合 (For the algorithm and confusing people)
For the algorithm!
アルゴリズムの場合 (For the algorithm and confusing people)
For the algorithm.
For the algorithm
Suicide bombers... Yes
kaboooom
始めようか。
indeed
I'm curious, "ladies and ___ gents"? It sounds almost like metal gents, but honestly I can't figure what it's supposed to be.
mentle
@@AgroSquerril Do you mean "mental" as in the mind? I can't find anything on "mentle." In any case, that doesn't make any sense. Who counts as a mentle gent? What does it refer to?
@@hikarihitomi7706 Gentle Men = Mentle Gen = Mentle Gents which is pronounced like Mental Gents or Mad Lads
@@AgroSquerril So, this is based on a meme of some sort? Or just a funky thing you do as a signiture?
@@hikarihitomi7706 Something my dad used to say and it popped into my head when thinking of an intro
Nice video!!!}}}!!}!!!!!!
glad you enjoyed
For the algorithm!!!!!!!!! Raaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!
RAAA! ahem rah
F.T.A.!
For the algorithm
not a fan of fantasy stories here just personal taste
the second story was amusing and worthy of diplomats
253rd, 1 January 2024
Is the Algorithm here yet?
soon (TM)
AlgorithmFood!
For the algorithm
O.o
F.A.S.
F.A.S.& F.T.A.
For the algorithm
KFC anyone 🤣🤣🤣
F.T.A
For the algorithm
Not sure the first one wasn't that clever it was more of a cowardly trick.
Like some pearl harbor crap.
Ambushes and decapitation strikes are perfectly acceptable as long as you win.
The US and Japan were not at war when the later attacked by surprise and it didn't suffer for centuries submited to the stronger nation. The human in the first story clearly declared war before he blew himself, killing the tyrant and his court, it's not the same.
They literally let the guards investigate the powder kegs. Not his fault the knife ears half assed it.
1st
nice
nice
The Waffle House has found its new host