I was not spanked growing up and I think it definitely proved you don’t need to in order to listen, to do what you’re told, etc. I will not spank my kids. How can you hit them but then also expect them not to hit? There are much more effective ways you can get your point across or make rules or give consequences without spanking.
I was spanked, and I hated it, but my add did it a medium hard, and sometime 3 or 4 in a row, I think for me when I have kids that would be my last resource, because there are other ways to discipline them without having it hurt them, could save them a lot of pain
@@hailey3324 yeah but when your kids grow into adults if they get into trouble this world's not going to be gentle. The police don't gentle arrest you.
@@E.z.b.f well, then that’s on them, I’m not responsible if something happens when there adults, it’s not like the police are gonna spank my kids when there adults
I think you guys should come back and react to this exact video one day when Brock/brockalina is here and a bit older so you have the perspective 🤣. I’m sure most things will stay the same, but it’ll be so interesting to have you hear your pre & after parenthood thoughts!
So before I had my daughter, I agreed with spanking until after I had her. Violence in my personal opinion isn’t the answer and never solves anything… I was told to pick a “switch” from a tree and I’d get “spanked” with that. But I felt like I couldn’t trust my parent. I stopped going to them and became rebellious. To each there own thoooo
i totally agree with you! i felt like spanking caused me to fear my parents and never wanna go to them or share anything bc i was scared they would spank me if i ever did anything wrong
I work with kids, and whenever i have to say no, i always tell them why as thoroughly as they need it explained, and if they keep arguing with me about it, i say "You already asked the question, i already gave you an answer", and leave it at that. If they keep going i tell them im done talking about it and walk away, or offer another option eg a different game or toy to play with, challenge them to do something a bit different, ask them to help me with something, or change the subject of conversation
There's a fine line between fear and respect. I know my girls are aware of this. •follow through absolutely is important. •swift, immediate repercussions - not long, drawn out consequences as they dont have the same impact •you will have to get creative in the discipline department at times(my girls were invited to my friends son's birthday, they were being ass-hats that week and I would remind of the party that weekend and it was up to them whether they would be going. Day of the party comes, they were real excited. When we got there, it was loud, chaotic fun. My girls starting take coats and shoes off. I told them to give Landen his gift and that we were not staying. They were pissed! Lol. Once we got back in the car, I had a discussion with them, told them both yes you can be angry what is not okay is how they were behaving leading up to the party towards each other and to me. My friend knew already and she understood, don't know whether she agreed with how I handled this situation but frankly, I don't care. Not her monkeys, not her circus. My girls still remember this. So it made an impact.)🎉 •be consistent, their constant . •remember there is NO perfect parent. •you will second guess yourself and wonder if you're messing your kid up(to me, this is an indicator of a good parent) •we as parents need to acknowledge and take responsibility for our actions and choices made. •own your shit and work to do better next time •bad words in our house are not the typical "curse" words, bad words are those we use to hurt(ugly, stupid, fat, etc) •grown up words (shit, ass, bitch etc,) as they hear in TV, movies and adults.....are you a grown up? Then no, you're not permitted to use these words.......before anyone comes for me remember........not your monkeys, not your circus •I know my girls are going to do things I am not going to be thrilled with - they know to give me a warning such as I need you to hear me out •it's okay to not know something - I've told my girls I'm not sure but I'll get back to you - remember to follow through, and do what you said on getting back to them •you absolutely will do and say things you swore you'd never say or do before you be came a parent and this is okay! •model the behavior you are looking for, that you expect from your child - not "do as I say' not as I do" •remember there will be a last time for everything just like there were for firsts. •cherish the little moments as they can and will get you through those sleepless nights, those tantrums etc •I wait out most tantrums, not all but majority. Like when grocery shopping and my girls start acting up....there's been a few times I've simply left the cart and gone home. But we still need food to eat. I never want my girls thinking that making a scene means getting what you want.....I will take the cart to customer service telling them I'll be back and I will go outside and wait out the tantrum. Once they are calmed down, we have a talk about it, and go the finish shopping.
Best parenting advice I could give is “Monkey see monkey do!” Words are heard but actions are louder. Trust your instincts! Takes a community to raise a child.
My kids track me far more than I have ever tracked them. I would get a text or a call saying, “ l see your right by Panda Express, can you grab me some food?” 😳
I’m 16 now, and I feel like I can’t tell my parents anything. If I tell my mom something she will blame me, or ask me what I did wrong. Which sucks, because she always thinks everything is my fault. And because of that I feel like I can’t tell my parents anything.
This is not meant to be hateful but I just want to let you guys hear what changed my opinion on spanking my kid… If you can reason with them and communicate the issue with words and they can understand you… why are you hitting them?And if you can’t and they don’t understand then why are you hitting them? It really just makes the kid scared of you and teaches them violence. I would do lots of research on that before you spank your kiddo. Obviously it’s your kid and totally up to you but I highly recommend researching it first! Just because you guys were spanked doesn’t make it okay. Things have changed a lot since then.
Omg can’t wait to listen to this one! I always listen on Spotify when I’m at the gym but now I listen to your podcasts. It’s so inspirational and I love it. Thank u guys for everything and for how hard you work to put out content. God always has a purpose for someone and you guys are for sure doing the right thing by inspiring me and so many other. Hope you guys see this. Love you guys❤❤❤❤
I cant wait to see how you guys grow into parents. It’s so interesting to see views of how you guys are gonna treat someone my age because I can relate. Like the going through phone thing your teen will HATE that no matter what but we don’t know what’s good or bad. We just think we have terrible parents even though they are just not letting us do whatever we want. You’re gonna have a rough time with any teen. You just gotta start them up and grow them up with good teachings and surroundings and you’ll be good. Congrats! Cant wait for the gender reveal!!!
Girl trust me you will worry about your newborn. Checking if they are breathing every time they sleep. Especially being a first time mom. I still worry 3 kids later.
As someone who has a degree in early childhood education, spanking has been proven to not be beneficial. Other consequences are more useful. You cannot expect to spank your child then teach them not to hit other children or use physical force in a negative way. I think you should seriously re consider spanking children or animals. Its been proven to do more harm than good.
I'm currently getting a degree in psychology and yes there is no data or proof that shows hitting your kid will help them in the long run. All it does it conditions them to act a certain way around the parent, gives them anxiety, and breaks the trust between the child and parents.
Living in Michigan just a few years younger than you guys, the 10pm curfew was when you have your driver's training permit, and you weren't supposed to be out driving past 10pm. I rarely was cause I didn't wanna get pulled over after 10 so I would just race home from my es-girlfriends house at 9:50 lol. I swear years ago I've probably seen you guys around or Katie at least. After seeing some of your vlogs in Michigan and me knowing the area pretty good I have been in the pep band many times at your high school for football games lol
I started driving with a license in December and every time I go somewhere my mom tells me to text her every once in a while so she knows we're i am and if I'm ok!😊❤
Parenting is hard work. But it’s also the most rewarding. kids want to be with their parents and not always a nanny or babysitter. They want their parents attention. Being a parent is a blessing. Being around the parents the most is the best thing for the child.
Great episode. Parenting is tough! Spanking is a tough one! My parsnts were old-school. My sister and I grew up getting spankings. Over the knee. Hand on the bare behind....lessons were learned....
Great topic today... Every parent raises their kids differently and often is based on how they were raised. I am pretty sure that you two had great role models and will do great. You will figure it out!!!
Second comment lol but as someone who has worked with kids for ten years, i can look after 30-100+ kids at a time, get them to listen and do what they're told, without ever once putting a hand on a child. Dogs and animals may sometimes need a tap on the nose or some light physical intervention to understand they've done wrong, because they're animals, that's what their parents or alpha members of their pack etc would do to discipline them. Human beings understand words. Maybe as a toddler if they really really won't stop doing something unsafe, they might need a MINOR physical consequence. But once they're old enough to talk sentences, they're old enough to understand words, and at that point i really don't believe physical punishment is a good way to deal with it. Kids who get hit at home dont listen to people who wont hurt them. They'll behave at home but they'll act up at school or daycare or summer camp or for the babysitter. Trust me. You can tell the kids who get spanked from a mile away, one day with them you know exactly what goes on at home. Just think, is this something i would get hurt for if i did it? Would Josh hit Katie if she broke a plate? Even on purpose? Would Katie hit Josh if he said something mean to her or was nasty to someone else? Would Josh wash Katie's mouth out with soap if she swore or even used a slur? No. You'd use your words to deal with those things, you'd clean up the mess you made and apologise for the things you said. Raising children means raising future adults. Raise kids the way you want them to turn out, because they will turn out the way you raise them.
This should be really interesting.I feel like you guys are really similar so let's see and this is episode 22 🥰🥰 and what Katie said at 7:16 is so true.. Some parents don't know that
Don’t spank your kids, please. I know how it felt growing up and I now have trauma. They won’t trust you, or want to talk to you about anything :( bc they will be scared of you. Trust me.
Don’t tell people what to do. I was spanked and I appreciate my parents for it. If you don’t like it then that’s fine but don’t tell other people how to parent their kids
I have 4 kids and all of them have different personalities which also come out when it comes to consequences. The 1st learned more when given time outs because she would have rather just had the spanking and move one. The 2nd we could just look at her a way and she would break. The 3rd is autistic so positive rewards were more effective and the 4th is pretty much a mix of all of them. You will learn your child and what is best. You’re both going to be great parents! The most important is your child knows you love, respect and forgive quickly. Everything else falls into place.
I personally do not believe in spanking. To be honest with you it is really an outdated form of discipline to use on children these days. All it does really is increase aggression in children and can cause serious mental health disorders for them in their future paths. Like think about it- they may be raised ''well'' or etc in your eyes. But when you do that type of behavior all it does is implement fear into the child. Yes- you may want your child to not feel the need to share every detail to them about you but you should not make that relationship into a relationship where it is one-sided and the child does not want to hang out with you due to them fearing you. Like you do you but all I am saying is for the parents that do use an authoritarian parenting style should seriously not come crying when their kids of their own will not let them see their grandkids. I have been in that path before with my sister and it is honestly a very sad path between her and my parents. The thing I hate about authoritarian parenting it is all about taking orders and that. Which yes- it is very good to train your child to work a non-independent job where you have a boss. But it really strips off freedom to the child of making their own choices and using critical thinking skills. I think its best to give a child a good stability of independence and not be what you call a ''helicopter parent'' in order to prepare them for the real world.
I'm not judging what anyone else is doing when it comes to raising children but my personal belief is to never use any physical force to make a child listen. I understand that it might be a light spank but I just believe that there are other ways to make children listen. I believe in order for a child to respect you they need to be respected back and not fear you. Otherwise resentment might build up. We would never see it as ok to hit our friends or partners if we didn't like something they said or did. Children don't act out just to torment people or to make someone's lives miserable, it's because they are hurting inside with all these big emotions. They need help to understand their feelings and once they are validated the reasons to act out usually disappears. They want to get people's attention because they need love. I might be a bit extreme because I'm very into gentle parenting. I've watched Gabor Mates videos and I can recommend them. He said Jesus disciples didn't follow him because they feared him. They wanted to follow Jesus and listen to him because they received love and respect from him. What you give out you get back. This method has always worked best for my 6 year old. He is a sensitive soul and any time I've lost my calm he mirrors me instantly. But if I remain calm and give him space to feel it more quickly fades. Once again I'm not judging anyone just felt like sharing my own feelings. Not everyone agrees of course and I think no matter how you parent kids will always go through rough phases where they have tantrums and they need extra love.
Everybody has their own way of parenting only you guys will know what’s best for your child, either way you guys are going to be amazing parents. Can’t wait for the gender reveal❤️
I thought spanking was totally fine until i had kids. Even started off with spanking them. But now i think its not a helpful way to do things. I feel like it just breeds aggression and makes your kids want to hide things from you. I have three young kids. Consequences are obviously important. Flourishing homes and families on Instagram is a great resource for gentle parenting but bible based, which I love. Gospel based parenting by Angela Harders is a great resource for why the bible doesn't actually mean to spank your kids lol. A lot of people take what the bible says out of context and this totally changed the way I thought of it. I'm a mostly silent viewer but I love your videos! So excited to see yall become parents. So great that yall are having these conversations now and just remain flexible and be prepared to learn. Kids definitely grow you!❤
When i was 5 my mom told me that if i step in the road a cop is going to come get me and i stepped in the road and a cop came driving down the street with the sirens on and i turned around really fast and went threw the back door than to my moms room and slid under my parents bed and cried
My son is 5. My husband and I agree on no spanking. My husband was beat and basically tortured by his father. Starting at 8 when his mother died in a car accident. For example: if my husband made a mistake his father would break his finger, and if he flinched or cried when he did it he would break another. We feel strongly that we don’t want to physically strike our son. He gets grounded and time outs and loses privileges. I don’t want him to feel like hitting is okay. He’s not allowed to hit, I feel like we should lead by example and not hit him too. You can gain respect without physical violence and fear. Everyone’s different. Every kid has different needs. My son is very tall and big for his age, he looks like a 10 year old and he’s 5. He’s going to be bigger than his peers probably all his life. (His dad is 6’5) I’m trying to teach my son to be a gentle giant who protects instead of bullies. And I think teaching him that physical violence is not the answer will help him later in life. ❤ The fact that your having this conversation is a good thing. You’ll be great parents ☺️
Omg I feel so bad for your hubby idk why ppl think it’s ok to act like that it’s so sad, and we all appreciate you teaching your son to be kind!!✨, I’m 14 and I was spanked till I was idk 8 probably going on 9, omg I literally will never have a right relationship with them or tell them anything. And the thing is that they aren’t abusive at all and they were just doing what they thought was right discipline, so I guess I shouldn’t hate them cause your comment made me think abt how good I have it
With hugs and babies it’s not about how YOU feel about it as parents, it about if your CHILD wants to be touched or hugged or kissed. It’s about bodily autonomy and consent. If you child does not want to hug someone or doesn’t want someone to kiss them, you should not force your child. Regardless of who the person is.
I’m seventeen and my parents still make me wear a helmet on my bike and i ride it slow asf lmaoo. I also am not allowed to swear but I honestly don’t think making it so your kids can’t ever swear once they’re teens is a great idea because my siblings started swearing like crazy once they turned 18 and they still do. As for the spanking, my brother literally used to beg to be spanked so not all kids learn from it😭
Asking to hug is about consent for your child. The child should be able to say if they want a hug or not. Like why force a 3 year old to hug grandma if they don’t want to? What’s that teaching them? That even when they don’t want to be touched you’re forcing them because someone loves you? That is not a great model to set. I think that’s what the question is, not like does a family member have to ask to hold your baby.
When you guys do the agree/disagree, you seem like you feel the need to sway the other way as your partner. It’s okay to be married and disagree on some things. How you work through disagreements and compromise is what comes up on top. Not swaying your beliefs to accommodate your partners beliefs. I have 3 kids now and I remember being your age and thinking what kind of mom I would be. I would love to see you guys do this in 4 years from now, some will probably change. I have kids ranging from ages 2-14, it’s the most fulfilling, amazing but toughest blessing in the world. Good luck you two! You both have a lot to learn but will be great parents none the less! You have amazing qualities n tools to raise beautiful great humans.
Yes my 5 year old son everyday he asked me is this or that a bad word??? I am like boy where you leaning this from lol and he tells me school lol 😆 so Prek is bad lol 😂
I guess it depends on the child but I personally think spanking is the lazy way of parenting. Yeah it might work short term but long term it doesn't. They get more sneaky. Shouldn't parent out of fear. I was spanked a lot as a kid and me and my siblings thought it was OK to hit each other when we hurt each others feelings. And we got sneakier. Also we did not want to come to my parents for anything bc we were scared of them. With mine and my husbands kids. We do timeouts or grounded and then when everything is calm we talk through why they felt the need to do that and teach them what good choices and bad choices are. Always result to teaching them how to work through their emotions in a healthy way and use consequences at the same time. Parenting is complicated and we are still trying to figure it out
Nobody wants to hear it but spanking is bad parenting like we are living in 2023 and spanking still tolerated, but hitting animals is bad and abusive. We have such little respect for children and it is so heartbreaking
This whole nanny topic is kind of funny to me because people really think only rich and famous people hire nanny’s when in reality A LOT of very normal families with 2 working parents have nanny’s. I worked as a fill-in nanny for 3 years in San Francisco before the pandemic, almost every family in sf with 2 working parents has a nanny for their child and I even worked for some families where the mom did not work and just had to run errands or whatever. It is a luxury but it is way more common than people think because yes people have to work.
No matter what you do or don't do there will always be someone who disagrees with what you are doing.. your life is about to change dramatically and will test your relationship like it never has before.. but you just do the best you can. - From a mother of a 4 year old
Everyone parents differently and all kids are different is very important to remember!!! I’m gonna add into punishment like spanking. Each kid learns differently and spanking and hitting are different. Like when I was little I learned from getting toys taken away and time out but my cousin learned by spanking or being sent outside on the porch.
Please read my comment!! Katie, I'm so happy you acknowledged two important things: first, that you don't know if spanking is right/if you will. Second, your goal is to be able to teach your child without spanking when possible. Please listen when I say it is ALWAYS possible. If you don't think your child is understanding what you are trying to teach, or that spanking is the best way to communicate, please know spanking is not the answer. Education is! I have a masters in early childhood, and I'm not saying you need a masters degree to be a good parent, but parenting educations is SO worth it and needs to be normalized! Even just taking the time to watch a documentary, read a credible book, or read credible (key word is credible, lol) research on infant and child development can be so eye opening and life changing. So many of these questions that people ask around child rearing can in fact be answered with research today. We know a lot about how children develop, and how this correlates with parenting practices, since the field of early childhood development has been growing, its just most people don't even think to take parenting classes, or to search out books written by experts in the field. I promise, it will make it so much easier when the time comes. Some recommendations for you: Babies (netflix documentary) ; The Emotional Life of the Toddler by Alicia F. Lieberman (book that is good to read even for soon to be parents of infants) ; NAEYC (website that has TONS of resources on child development. Basically Google for parents! I would start your research on spanking at this website. Or talk to any professional in the field); Join a mommy and me group now! Find one lead by someone with at least a BA in early childhood or related field. It will be a great social community for you as a new mom, and a great way to find playmates for your little that they will know since they were babies! 😀 A few more things on spanking... The part of the brain that controls the fight or flight response (amygdala) is triggered when a child is spanked. When your brain is in fight or flight mode, its not in learning mode. Children can not in fact learn when they're in this state. Its fear conditioning, not teaching a lesson. Its also true it can make it harder for your child to trust you, so that when they're in trouble or make a mistake down the road they're inherently hesitant to come to you for help, fearing retribution will follow rather than help. On the flip side, if you take the approach of explaining things to your child from day 1, they know they can trust you to be a teacher who will help them fix their mistakes and get back on the right track. Also, the majority of physical abuse occurs to infants under the age of one. This is a statistc that scares me when people talk about spanking their children because they don't know how else to explain something to them. That's why I say education is the key. It's important to learn how to communicate with your infant, toddler, and growing child. Much love to you both! Parenting is beautiful, and hard, but education is a navigation system that will give you so much empowerment and really help during the tough times.
When it comes to the hugging thing, I don’t think any young child or teen should feel like they HAVE to hug someone. I personally didn’t tell all of my aunts and uncles growing up that I loved them or even gave hugs because the relationship is different with all of them. I was also a very shy child. I’ve also seen kids clearly uncomfortable when made to hug someone they clearly don’t want to hug. It’s just a personal thing of course. Family or not I don’t believe they should be made to hug someone when they don’t want to. They don’t want their touch, or they just don’t want touched at the time, which should be acceptable considering I know we don’t want to hug everyone we come in contact with either. I’m not even thinking of it like “protecting who touches my child,” which of course is expected, but more of respecting the child’s feelings of not wanting to be touched. You said earlier respect the child’s feelings, don’t force hugs.
I always got soap in my mouth when I spoke the wrong thing like cussed. So that was specifically how my family did it. It wasn’t terrible tasting but we were always allowed to like rinse our mouth and stuff afterwards
I think it is ok that everyone has different ways of parenting but I think some things are too far: for example- personally soap/ hot saucing is not ok at all because I fear something could happen to a child if that is done. It’s ok to not be parents and have opinions on what you think is ok and not ok 💕
Agreed, parents who use fear tactics and bullying methods to punish their children do all the damage and nothing good comes out of it from the children because they are not looking at the root of the problem
You should 1000% care about your kids feelings at a young age. It’s YOUR job to help your children work through those big feelings and teach them how to deal with them. They’re brains are barley developed. Don’t start caring when they’re in their teen years cuz at that point you’ve lost them already. You’ll understand when your baby is actually here. Most of your views on parenting will change after the baby is here and while they’re growing , I promise
Hitting is not how you solve problems, and yes spanking is hitting, and it is still physical assualt, same meaning, different words. Solve problems with your kids through connection, words, and love, not hitting even if it's a smack on the hand or with the belt
Parents think it’s they know the best for the kids but they have to look at the future and how those things can mess kids up, also listen to Billyvsco everything I’ve ever heard him say is completely right and what actually helps the kids out is not what most parents do
When I was a kid my parents put a bar of soap in my mouth and I took a bite. I didn't swallow and just spit it out. But my parents never did that again. 😂
Don’t spank your kids you need to explain to them what they did wrong because they don’t know what’s wrong so you spanking them is not helping in anyway think about it they’re new to this world they have no idea what is right and what is wrong so you can’t spank them for something they did wrong when they have no idea just explain it to them.
Spanking your kid has literally been proven time and time again to not be effective it teaches the child to fear makin mistakes and bad decisions instead of understanding why those choices aren't ok and what the natural consequences are in real life. And has bee proven to cause trauma/ chain reaction of generational trauma.
I think you guys are gonna be great parents but i think you should do some research on spanking kids aka corporal punishment and how it often has negative consequences. I am currently a 2nd year student at Uni, studying Pedagogy(child development and education specialist) and I can tell u we've often talked about how corporal punishment is pretty much always a reflection of parental 'failure'(yes that's how we called it) bc it's almost always done 'in the heat of the moment' and is done out of frustration and high emotions parents are feeling, so u have to ask yourself have you really exhausted every other disciplinary action. I could go on and on about this bc we have talked a lot about it at Uni and gone over many research papers on it, but I'm gonna try to make it short- Firstly, there is a lot of research on the topic and it's negative impact and most professionals and specialist in my and other relevant fields are against it, so ofc there's a reason for that. Secondly- You need to ask yourself if your kid is old enough to understand why what they did is wrong and why they're getting punished in a way that brings them physical pain(sounds rough but that's essentially what spanking is-corporal punishment that brings the recipient pain and physical and mental discomfort). If they are old enough to understand, why are you turning to physical punishment rather than explaining it and using alternative actions that don't involve physical pain? And if they're not old enough to understand, again, why are you turning to physical punishment, because they don't understand why you're doing it and it will just cause very big negative feelings and frustration? Thirdly- Raising kids is raising future adults and when it comes to physical punishment lines can get very blurry bc your job as a parent is to love, respect, understand and protect your child, but by causing physical pain to a kid can often teach them that hitting is okay when you're doing it out of love which can become very problematic later in life and also at the young age bc kids who are spanked often choose physical confrontation as a way to solve problems with their peers bc they are just modelling what they see at home- high emotions leading to physical punishment. So essentially, you wouldn't hit eachother when mad/upset, so why would u do so with your kid who at that young age absorbs everything that's happening around them and is looking towards you as role models and 'safe spaces'. Lastly, I also think that with the whole letting family hug your kid whenever you just have to be very aware of the kid's personality and feelings and some kids just don't like being hugged a lot, which doesn't mean they dislike their relatives. For example I remember always disliking everyone hugging me when I was little and even now at 21 when my mom wants to hug me I'm sometimes not in the mood for it and it gets really frustrating when she won't just respect me saying 'no thanks I'm not in the mood' and will continue pushing till I snap at her to leave me alone😅. So yeah, basically just always try to be aware of your kid's feelings and understandings of the situations and you'll do a good parenting job. Good luck, I look forward to seeing you in that chapter of your life.❤
I did a research paper on the parenting styles and it's affect on children and let me tell you, a got tons research and evidence that showed the nasty affects of corporal punishment. Corporal punishment is basically you bullying your children and you have the mindset that because you are the parent you have the right to spank your kid. That mindset is so toxic. Would you spank your husband if he was having a bad day and was disrespectful to you, NO, So would you hit your child whose brain is not even fully developed
My mother was a ninja with the wooden spoon and the yard stick. Dad preferred the finger flick to the temple. Rare but effective and i knew the consequence was certain and real. My dad has passed but if i heard that tone of warning in his voice again at 48 it would stop me dead in my tracks.
Just for people to know I was spanked as a kid yes I remember how it felt and it never felt good but I learned from it and also I tell my mom everything so take that as you want not every kid will rebel
I personally disagree with your answers about hugging. I believe that a child should have the decision to hug or not hug whoever they want to, including friends and family. That teaches them that they have autonomy over their own bodies. It teaches them if they don’t want to be touched by someone, they can say no. Family is not always safe and you never know who people truly are. I had an uncle that is now in prison for sa against one of his daughters for over 10 years and No One ever knew until she was an adult. You can do whatever you believe is right for your own family but this is just what I believe and thought it might help bring some perspective. I love you guys and I can’t wait to see if you have a bot or girl and watch you guys become parents! I started watching you guys before you got married when I was pregnant with my daughter and now I have a daughter and a son! It’s been the best years of my life and I can’t wait to continue to watch your family grow!
It’s better to have a mom yelled at their kid and put them in place and have them just sit there throwing a fit in front of everyone while they’re on their phone. I would rather have a mom showing that they care telling a kid that’s not OK then for them to just be ignoring it and it’s disturbing everyone else around them
I have to say this…please don’t cuss around your kids. My brother cusses around his 3 and 5 year old. The kids then cuss out in public when we are watching and in charge with them, and it’s embarrassing. It’s un called for.
You guys weren't ugly as babies..You were both really cute 🥰🥰 and you must really like ice cream 😂🤣..You should react to this podcast after the baby gets here and maybe a bit older
I’m positive after little one is here, MOST of your answers to these questions are going to change. You should really come back after the baby is here and you’ve been parenting for a little bit and re-answer the questions.
What's an helicopter mum? 😂🤣 And a little girl would have Josh wrapped around her finger.. Can't wait to meet her 💗💗 and see you both in full parent mode
I feel it is never ok to spank your kid, violence ist the answer. Ofc it is your child so you get to parent them whatever way you like. And I think you guys are going to be amazing parents. I never got spanked growing up and I feel that was a good parenting choice. Maybe if I did get spanked then I wouldn’t go to my mum and I wouldn’t tell her things because maybe I would feel that she would spank me, Instead of listening to me. Every child is diffrent and they each respond to diffrent parenting. But I feel that maybe telling them they couldn’t go to their friends birthday party or that they are grounded is more effective. You wouldn’t want your child to feel they can’t talk to you if they make a mistake. You would want them to come and talk to you and ask for your opinion rather then doing and keeping things behind your back, because they are afraid to get spanked. Just my personal opinion but either way you guys are going to be amazing parents and I can’t wait to see baby boy or girl ❤❤❤
You teach through discipline if you treat your kids as your friends and not toe the line between parents and friends you will have major problems and you need to instill values with your kids that will benefit there lives and spanking your children works when you bring it back to the relationship between the parent and child by saying you doing this wrong thing brought you to this consequence and learn from the consequence be better and live a beneficial life
when they talked about a spanking, I don´t know about ya´ll but i strongly agree with them. I was spanked as a kid and I so deserved it, did I hate being spanked ? YES did i cry during such session as a child YES did it somewhat hurt YES, do I think my parents were in the wrong doing so? ABSOLUTELY NOT. As a matter of fact I´m thankful for it as it made me the person I am today. Will I do it to my own kids in the future? I won´t want too but I will if I see no other option. Like they said Every kid is different ☺
@@KoolKid-yc6cp oh ya, I probably wouldn’t put tobacco sauce on my kids mouth, I’m not sure if it’s bad for the tastebuds if you absolutely hate it, and I absolute hated it
This was a good podcast. You guys are going to be great parents. Ok, I want you to know I am 55 years old. When I was growing up there were no cell phones. Not until I was 17-18 and they were the big fat one's that beeps too many times or they were flip phones. We were not allowed to have one. Soap, I got it or my brothers did if we cursed a bad word. It was not pleasant. Spanking, we got it if we did not behave for mom or if we were not home by the time. Ok, I had to be home by the time the street lights came on. I started getting upset when I was a senior in high school and still had to be home at the same time. My younger brother was a freshman and he did not have to be home until 11. First time I got the belt. Second time I got more than spanked, I was also grounded. I kept getting told it is because I am a girl. Alot more can happen with a girl. Who was the better kid? Me, I did not go to jail for going to a party, I was not doing alot of extra ciricalur activities either. If we (older brother and I) did not have our chores done of a morning as in breakfast dishes done or garden taken out our dad was at the school and we had to come back home and get it done. Thank goodness we lived a block from the middle and high school. My younger brother got by with not having it done. There is probably more but this is enough. I had good parents but stricken with my older brother and I. My younger brother came along and it was different. But he still turned out good. Took him a while but, he still turned out well.
I will never spank my kids because I would cry in my room for hours when my dad spanked me . He probably did it because his parents spanked him but still. One time when me and my brother would go to our nanas he would get spanked by them with a wooden spoon and I would try not to cry so hard.
Don’t spank your kids!!!!! I agree that it’s ok , but my sister spanked her kids and I threatened mine and still to this day my kids have that scared respect where my sisters kids are like what ever spank me.
I definitely do think with discipline, there is a point of going too far, but spanking or more like a "tap" I think is okay, but I do not agree with hot sauce or soap or how parents will really beat their kids thinking that it will help, but in reality it just makes them afraid of you and can traumatize them. If you leave marks on your kids, it's definitely way too far
I was not spanked growing up and I think it definitely proved you don’t need to in order to listen, to do what you’re told, etc. I will not spank my kids. How can you hit them but then also expect them not to hit? There are much more effective ways you can get your point across or make rules or give consequences without spanking.
I was spanked and I am glad. Different kids respond to different disciplines. Some do better with time out and some need their butts whooped.
I was spanked, and I hated it, but my add did it a medium hard, and sometime 3 or 4 in a row, I think for me when I have kids that would be my last resource, because there are other ways to discipline them without having it hurt them, could save them a lot of pain
@@hailey3324 yeah but when your kids grow into adults if they get into trouble this world's not going to be gentle. The police don't gentle arrest you.
@@E.z.b.f well, then that’s on them, I’m not responsible if something happens when there adults, it’s not like the police are gonna spank my kids when there adults
@@hailey3324 it's your job to teach them right from wrong if you dont the world will
I think you guys should come back and react to this exact video one day when Brock/brockalina is here and a bit older so you have the perspective 🤣. I’m sure most things will stay the same, but it’ll be so interesting to have you hear your pre & after parenthood thoughts!
Ain't that the truth having a kid hubbles the heck outta you after. 😂😂😂 So many things I said I'd do or not do I definitely changed on.
@@larac.8797 same!! 😭🤣 now I think about how I knew nothing before!
Yesss
So before I had my daughter, I agreed with spanking until after I had her. Violence in my personal opinion isn’t the answer and never solves anything… I was told to pick a “switch” from a tree and I’d get “spanked” with that. But I felt like I couldn’t trust my parent. I stopped going to them and became rebellious. To each there own thoooo
i totally agree with you! i felt like spanking caused me to fear my parents and never wanna go to them or share anything bc i was scared they would spank me if i ever did anything wrong
I will never forget having to go pick my own switch. And it if wasn’t flimsy enough I got spanked even harder.
I work with kids, and whenever i have to say no, i always tell them why as thoroughly as they need it explained, and if they keep arguing with me about it, i say "You already asked the question, i already gave you an answer", and leave it at that. If they keep going i tell them im done talking about it and walk away, or offer another option eg a different game or toy to play with, challenge them to do something a bit different, ask them to help me with something, or change the subject of conversation
There's a fine line between fear and respect. I know my girls are aware of this.
•follow through absolutely is important.
•swift, immediate repercussions - not long, drawn out consequences as they dont have the same impact
•you will have to get creative in the discipline department at times(my girls were invited to my friends son's birthday, they were being ass-hats that week and I would remind of the party that weekend and it was up to them whether they would be going. Day of the party comes, they were real excited. When we got there, it was loud, chaotic fun. My girls starting take coats and shoes off. I told them to give Landen his gift and that we were not staying. They were pissed! Lol. Once we got back in the car, I had a discussion with them, told them both yes you can be angry what is not okay is how they were behaving leading up to the party towards each other and to me. My friend knew already and she understood, don't know whether she agreed with how I handled this situation but frankly, I don't care. Not her monkeys, not her circus. My girls still remember this. So it made an impact.)🎉
•be consistent, their constant .
•remember there is NO perfect parent.
•you will second guess yourself and wonder if you're messing your kid up(to me, this is an indicator of a good parent)
•we as parents need to acknowledge and take responsibility for our actions and choices made.
•own your shit and work to do better next time
•bad words in our house are not the typical "curse" words, bad words are those we use to hurt(ugly, stupid, fat, etc)
•grown up words (shit, ass, bitch etc,) as they hear in TV, movies and adults.....are you a grown up? Then no, you're not permitted to use these words.......before anyone comes for me remember........not your monkeys, not your circus
•I know my girls are going to do things I am not going to be thrilled with - they know to give me a warning such as I need you to hear me out
•it's okay to not know something - I've told my girls I'm not sure but I'll get back to you - remember to follow through, and do what you said on getting back to them
•you absolutely will do and say things you swore you'd never say or do before you be came a parent and this is okay!
•model the behavior you are looking for, that you expect from your child - not "do as I say' not as I do"
•remember there will be a last time for everything just like there were for firsts.
•cherish the little moments as they can and will get you through those sleepless nights, those tantrums etc
•I wait out most tantrums, not all but majority. Like when grocery shopping and my girls start acting up....there's been a few times I've simply left the cart and gone home. But we still need food to eat. I never want my girls thinking that making a scene means getting what you want.....I will take the cart to customer service telling them I'll be back and I will go outside and wait out the tantrum. Once they are calmed down, we have a talk about it, and go the finish shopping.
Best parenting advice I could give is “Monkey see monkey do!”
Words are heard but actions are louder.
Trust your instincts!
Takes a community to raise a child.
My kids track me far more than I have ever tracked them. I would get a text or a call saying, “ l see your right by Panda Express, can you grab me some food?” 😳
Same 😂
Lol
I’m 16 now, and I feel like I can’t tell my parents anything. If I tell my mom something she will blame me, or ask me what I did wrong. Which sucks, because she always thinks everything is my fault. And because of that I feel like I can’t tell my parents anything.
This is not meant to be hateful but I just want to let you guys hear what changed my opinion on spanking my kid…
If you can reason with them and communicate the issue with words and they can understand you… why are you hitting them?And if you can’t and they don’t understand then why are you hitting them?
It really just makes the kid scared of you and teaches them violence.
I would do lots of research on that before you spank your kiddo.
Obviously it’s your kid and totally up to you but I highly recommend researching it first! Just because you guys were spanked doesn’t make it okay. Things have changed a lot since then.
Omg can’t wait to listen to this one! I always listen on Spotify when I’m at the gym but now I listen to your podcasts. It’s so inspirational and I love it. Thank u guys for everything and for how hard you work to put out content. God always has a purpose for someone and you guys are for sure doing the right thing by inspiring me and so many other. Hope you guys see this. Love you guys❤❤❤❤
I cant wait to see how you guys grow into parents. It’s so interesting to see views of how you guys are gonna treat someone my age because I can relate. Like the going through phone thing your teen will HATE that no matter what but we don’t know what’s good or bad. We just think we have terrible parents even though they are just not letting us do whatever we want. You’re gonna have a rough time with any teen. You just gotta start them up and grow them up with good teachings and surroundings and you’ll be good. Congrats! Cant wait for the gender reveal!!!
Can’t wait for the gender reveal!! You guys are gonna be the best parents!! Love you guys!! 💕🙌
I’m crying laughing when Josh talks about getting soap in the mouth🤣😂😅
I can’t wait to see your family grow!! you guys are truly amazing and i’m so excited for y’all!❤️❤️ love you so much
Girl trust me you will worry about your newborn. Checking if they are breathing every time they sleep. Especially being a first time mom. I still worry 3 kids later.
100%!!!!!!
As someone who has a degree in early childhood education, spanking has been proven to not be beneficial. Other consequences are more useful. You cannot expect to spank your child then teach them not to hit other children or use physical force in a negative way. I think you should seriously re consider spanking children or animals. Its been proven to do more harm than good.
I'm currently getting a degree in psychology and yes there is no data or proof that shows hitting your kid will help them in the long run. All it does it conditions them to act a certain way around the parent, gives them anxiety, and breaks the trust between the child and parents.
@@bellegrace1799 yes true!
I love how you guys are 😂 I can't wait for you guys to be parents! ❤❤
Living in Michigan just a few years younger than you guys, the 10pm curfew was when you have your driver's training permit, and you weren't supposed to be out driving past 10pm. I rarely was cause I didn't wanna get pulled over after 10 so I would just race home from my es-girlfriends house at 9:50 lol. I swear years ago I've probably seen you guys around or Katie at least. After seeing some of your vlogs in Michigan and me knowing the area pretty good I have been in the pep band many times at your high school for football games lol
I started driving with a license in December and every time I go somewhere my mom tells me to text her every once in a while so she knows we're i am and if I'm ok!😊❤
Parenting is hard work. But it’s also the most rewarding. kids want to be with their parents and not always a nanny or babysitter. They want their parents attention. Being a parent is a blessing. Being around the parents the most is the best thing for the child.
Great episode. Parenting is tough! Spanking is a tough one!
My parsnts were old-school. My sister and I grew up getting spankings.
Over the knee. Hand on the bare behind....lessons were learned....
Great topic today... Every parent raises their kids differently and often is based on how they were raised. I am pretty sure that you two had great role models and will do great. You will figure it out!!!
Second comment lol but as someone who has worked with kids for ten years, i can look after 30-100+ kids at a time, get them to listen and do what they're told, without ever once putting a hand on a child.
Dogs and animals may sometimes need a tap on the nose or some light physical intervention to understand they've done wrong, because they're animals, that's what their parents or alpha members of their pack etc would do to discipline them.
Human beings understand words. Maybe as a toddler if they really really won't stop doing something unsafe, they might need a MINOR physical consequence. But once they're old enough to talk sentences, they're old enough to understand words, and at that point i really don't believe physical punishment is a good way to deal with it.
Kids who get hit at home dont listen to people who wont hurt them. They'll behave at home but they'll act up at school or daycare or summer camp or for the babysitter. Trust me. You can tell the kids who get spanked from a mile away, one day with them you know exactly what goes on at home.
Just think, is this something i would get hurt for if i did it? Would Josh hit Katie if she broke a plate? Even on purpose? Would Katie hit Josh if he said something mean to her or was nasty to someone else? Would Josh wash Katie's mouth out with soap if she swore or even used a slur? No. You'd use your words to deal with those things, you'd clean up the mess you made and apologise for the things you said. Raising children means raising future adults. Raise kids the way you want them to turn out, because they will turn out the way you raise them.
🙌
When I was younger I used love the hot sauce
This should be really interesting.I feel like you guys are really similar so let's see and this is episode 22 🥰🥰 and what Katie said at 7:16 is so true.. Some parents don't know that
Yay! I requested this question for the podcast!
Don’t spank your kids, please. I know how it felt growing up and I now have trauma. They won’t trust you, or want to talk to you about anything :( bc they will be scared of you. Trust me.
Don’t tell people what to do. I was spanked and I appreciate my parents for it. If you don’t like it then that’s fine but don’t tell other people how to parent their kids
Omg Emilya that’s sooo true!!! I totally agree with you!!✨✨
@@obsessedwOBX ❤️❤️❤️
@@obsessedwOBX exactly! - I hope they change their mind xx
@@emilya1843 me too❤️
You guys are going to be amazing parents for sure🥰🥰 and super excited for the gender reveal 💙💗
I have 4 kids and all of them have different personalities which also come out when it comes to consequences. The 1st learned more when given time outs because she would have rather just had the spanking and move one. The 2nd we could just look at her a way and she would break. The 3rd is autistic so positive rewards were more effective and the 4th is pretty much a mix of all of them. You will learn your child and what is best. You’re both going to be great parents! The most important is your child knows you love, respect and forgive quickly. Everything else falls into place.
I personally do not believe in spanking. To be honest with you it is really an outdated form of discipline to use on children these days. All it does really is increase aggression in children and can cause serious mental health disorders for them in their future paths. Like think about it- they may be raised ''well'' or etc in your eyes. But when you do that type of behavior all it does is implement fear into the child. Yes- you may want your child to not feel the need to share every detail to them about you but you should not make that relationship into a relationship where it is one-sided and the child does not want to hang out with you due to them fearing you. Like you do you but all I am saying is for the parents that do use an authoritarian parenting style should seriously not come crying when their kids of their own will not let them see their grandkids. I have been in that path before with my sister and it is honestly a very sad path between her and my parents. The thing I hate about authoritarian parenting it is all about taking orders and that. Which yes- it is very good to train your child to work a non-independent job where you have a boss. But it really strips off freedom to the child of making their own choices and using critical thinking skills. I think its best to give a child a good stability of independence and not be what you call a ''helicopter parent'' in order to prepare them for the real world.
I'm not judging what anyone else is doing when it comes to raising children but my personal belief is to never use any physical force to make a child listen. I understand that it might be a light spank but I just believe that there are other ways to make children listen. I believe in order for a child to respect you they need to be respected back and not fear you. Otherwise resentment might build up. We would never see it as ok to hit our friends or partners if we didn't like something they said or did.
Children don't act out just to torment people or to make someone's lives miserable, it's because they are hurting inside with all these big emotions. They need help to understand their feelings and once they are validated the reasons to act out usually disappears. They want to get people's attention because they need love.
I might be a bit extreme because I'm very into gentle parenting. I've watched Gabor Mates videos and I can recommend them. He said Jesus disciples didn't follow him because they feared him. They wanted to follow Jesus and listen to him because they received love and respect from him. What you give out you get back.
This method has always worked best for my 6 year old. He is a sensitive soul and any time I've lost my calm he mirrors me instantly. But if I remain calm and give him space to feel it more quickly fades.
Once again I'm not judging anyone just felt like sharing my own feelings. Not everyone agrees of course and I think no matter how you parent kids will always go through rough phases where they have tantrums and they need extra love.
y’all are gonna be good parents
Everybody has their own way of parenting only you guys will know what’s best for your child, either way you guys are going to be amazing parents. Can’t wait for the gender reveal❤️
I thought spanking was totally fine until i had kids. Even started off with spanking them. But now i think its not a helpful way to do things. I feel like it just breeds aggression and makes your kids want to hide things from you. I have three young kids. Consequences are obviously important.
Flourishing homes and families on Instagram is a great resource for gentle parenting but bible based, which I love.
Gospel based parenting by Angela Harders is a great resource for why the bible doesn't actually mean to spank your kids lol. A lot of people take what the bible says out of context and this totally changed the way I thought of it.
I'm a mostly silent viewer but I love your videos! So excited to see yall become parents. So great that yall are having these conversations now and just remain flexible and be prepared to learn. Kids definitely grow you!❤
This was a great topic to discuss
When i was 5 my mom told me that if i step in the road a cop is going to come get me and i stepped in the road and a cop came driving down the street with the sirens on and i turned around really fast and went threw the back door than to my moms room and slid under my parents bed and cried
My son is 5. My husband and I agree on no spanking. My husband was beat and basically tortured by his father. Starting at 8 when his mother died in a car accident. For example: if my husband made a mistake his father would break his finger, and if he flinched or cried when he did it he would break another. We feel strongly that we don’t want to physically strike our son. He gets grounded and time outs and loses privileges. I don’t want him to feel like hitting is okay. He’s not allowed to hit, I feel like we should lead by example and not hit him too. You can gain respect without physical violence and fear. Everyone’s different. Every kid has different needs. My son is very tall and big for his age, he looks like a 10 year old and he’s 5. He’s going to be bigger than his peers probably all his life. (His dad is 6’5) I’m trying to teach my son to be a gentle giant who protects instead of bullies. And I think teaching him that physical violence is not the answer will help him later in life. ❤
The fact that your having this conversation is a good thing. You’ll be great parents ☺️
Omg I feel so bad for your hubby idk why ppl think it’s ok to act like that it’s so sad, and we all appreciate you teaching your son to be kind!!✨, I’m 14 and I was spanked till I was idk 8 probably going on 9, omg I literally will never have a right relationship with them or tell them anything. And the thing is that they aren’t abusive at all and they were just doing what they thought was right discipline, so I guess I shouldn’t hate them cause your comment made me think abt how good I have it
With hugs and babies it’s not about how YOU feel about it as parents, it about if your CHILD wants to be touched or hugged or kissed. It’s about bodily autonomy and consent. If you child does not want to hug someone or doesn’t want someone to kiss them, you should not force your child. Regardless of who the person is.
My parents used to make me and my brother bite a chunk of soap off of a bar of soap and chew it for 30 seconds! That was no fun!
I’m seventeen and my parents still make me wear a helmet on my bike and i ride it slow asf lmaoo. I also am not allowed to swear but I honestly don’t think making it so your kids can’t ever swear once they’re teens is a great idea because my siblings started swearing like crazy once they turned 18 and they still do. As for the spanking, my brother literally used to beg to be spanked so not all kids learn from it😭
I just watched Bella’s announcement video.. I kinda wish they could be pregnant together 🥹😭
Asking to hug is about consent for your child. The child should be able to say if they want a hug or not. Like why force a 3 year old to hug grandma if they don’t want to? What’s that teaching them? That even when they don’t want to be touched you’re forcing them because someone loves you? That is not a great model to set. I think that’s what the question is, not like does a family member have to ask to hold your baby.
When you guys do the agree/disagree, you seem like you feel the need to sway the other way as your partner. It’s okay to be married and disagree on some things. How you work through disagreements and compromise is what comes up on top. Not swaying your beliefs to accommodate your partners beliefs. I have 3 kids now and I remember being your age and thinking what kind of mom I would be. I would love to see you guys do this in 4 years from now, some will probably change. I have kids ranging from ages 2-14, it’s the most fulfilling, amazing but toughest blessing in the world. Good luck you two! You both have a lot to learn but will be great parents none the less! You have amazing qualities n tools to raise beautiful great humans.
Yes my 5 year old son everyday he asked me is this or that a bad word??? I am like boy where you leaning this from lol and he tells me school lol 😆 so Prek is bad lol 😂
I guess it depends on the child but I personally think spanking is the lazy way of parenting. Yeah it might work short term but long term it doesn't. They get more sneaky. Shouldn't parent out of fear. I was spanked a lot as a kid and me and my siblings thought it was OK to hit each other when we hurt each others feelings. And we got sneakier. Also we did not want to come to my parents for anything bc we were scared of them. With mine and my husbands kids. We do timeouts or grounded and then when everything is calm we talk through why they felt the need to do that and teach them what good choices and bad choices are. Always result to teaching them how to work through their emotions in a healthy way and use consequences at the same time. Parenting is complicated and we are still trying to figure it out
Nobody wants to hear it but spanking is bad parenting like we are living in 2023 and spanking still tolerated, but hitting animals is bad and abusive. We have such little respect for children and it is so heartbreaking
This whole nanny topic is kind of funny to me because people really think only rich and famous people hire nanny’s when in reality A LOT of very normal families with 2 working parents have nanny’s. I worked as a fill-in nanny for 3 years in San Francisco before the pandemic, almost every family in sf with 2 working parents has a nanny for their child and I even worked for some families where the mom did not work and just had to run errands or whatever. It is a luxury but it is way more common than people think because yes people have to work.
No matter what you do or don't do there will always be someone who disagrees with what you are doing.. your life is about to change dramatically and will test your relationship like it never has before.. but you just do the best you can. - From a mother of a 4 year old
Everyone parents differently and all kids are different is very important to remember!!!
I’m gonna add into punishment like spanking. Each kid learns differently and spanking and hitting are different. Like when I was little I learned from getting toys taken away and time out but my cousin learned by spanking or being sent outside on the porch.
I’m a dog Walker and pet sitter, you’ve definitely got to be trusted x
Please read my comment!! Katie, I'm so happy you acknowledged two important things: first, that you don't know if spanking is right/if you will. Second, your goal is to be able to teach your child without spanking when possible. Please listen when I say it is ALWAYS possible. If you don't think your child is understanding what you are trying to teach, or that spanking is the best way to communicate, please know spanking is not the answer. Education is! I have a masters in early childhood, and I'm not saying you need a masters degree to be a good parent, but parenting educations is SO worth it and needs to be normalized! Even just taking the time to watch a documentary, read a credible book, or read credible (key word is credible, lol) research on infant and child development can be so eye opening and life changing. So many of these questions that people ask around child rearing can in fact be answered with research today. We know a lot about how children develop, and how this correlates with parenting practices, since the field of early childhood development has been growing, its just most people don't even think to take parenting classes, or to search out books written by experts in the field. I promise, it will make it so much easier when the time comes. Some recommendations for you: Babies (netflix documentary) ; The Emotional Life of the Toddler by Alicia F. Lieberman (book that is good to read even for soon to be parents of infants) ; NAEYC (website that has TONS of resources on child development. Basically Google for parents! I would start your research on spanking at this website. Or talk to any professional in the field); Join a mommy and me group now! Find one lead by someone with at least a BA in early childhood or related field. It will be a great social community for you as a new mom, and a great way to find playmates for your little that they will know since they were babies! 😀 A few more things on spanking... The part of the brain that controls the fight or flight response (amygdala) is triggered when a child is spanked. When your brain is in fight or flight mode, its not in learning mode. Children can not in fact learn when they're in this state. Its fear conditioning, not teaching a lesson. Its also true it can make it harder for your child to trust you, so that when they're in trouble or make a mistake down the road they're inherently hesitant to come to you for help, fearing retribution will follow rather than help. On the flip side, if you take the approach of explaining things to your child from day 1, they know they can trust you to be a teacher who will help them fix their mistakes and get back on the right track. Also, the majority of physical abuse occurs to infants under the age of one. This is a statistc that scares me when people talk about spanking their children because they don't know how else to explain something to them. That's why I say education is the key. It's important to learn how to communicate with your infant, toddler, and growing child. Much love to you both! Parenting is beautiful, and hard, but education is a navigation system that will give you so much empowerment and really help during the tough times.
I agree with Josh
I’m 17 and my mom and I are best friends but I still have that nervousness around her of if I’ll get in trouble or not.
This is the only podcast I haven’t watched. I’m depressed that I went through them all already 😂😂😂😂
Hey Katie and josh 💜
When it comes to the hugging thing, I don’t think any young child or teen should feel like they HAVE to hug someone. I personally didn’t tell all of my aunts and uncles growing up that I loved them or even gave hugs because the relationship is different with all of them. I was also a very shy child. I’ve also seen kids clearly uncomfortable when made to hug someone they clearly don’t want to hug. It’s just a personal thing of course. Family or not I don’t believe they should be made to hug someone when they don’t want to. They don’t want their touch, or they just don’t want touched at the time, which should be acceptable considering I know we don’t want to hug everyone we come in contact with either. I’m not even thinking of it like “protecting who touches my child,” which of course is expected, but more of respecting the child’s feelings of not wanting to be touched. You said earlier respect the child’s feelings, don’t force hugs.
We got the switch and had to go get our own switch. Momma always said it hurts me more than it hurts you.
Lmao that’s bullshit cause my parents always said that too
Katie, my mom is does everything you have said! Youre going to be an amazing mom! My mom and I are besties!! (im 19) lol
I always got soap in my mouth when I spoke the wrong thing like cussed. So that was specifically how my family did it. It wasn’t terrible tasting but we were always allowed to like rinse our mouth and stuff afterwards
I think it is ok that everyone has different ways of parenting but I think some things are too far: for example- personally soap/ hot saucing is not ok at all because I fear something could happen to a child if that is done. It’s ok to not be parents and have opinions on what you think is ok and not ok 💕
Agreed, parents who use fear tactics and bullying methods to punish their children do all the damage and nothing good comes out of it from the children because they are not looking at the root of the problem
You should 1000% care about your kids feelings at a young age. It’s YOUR job to help your children work through those big feelings and teach them how to deal with them. They’re brains are barley developed. Don’t start caring when they’re in their teen years cuz at that point you’ve lost them already.
You’ll understand when your baby is actually here. Most of your views on parenting will change after the baby is here and while they’re growing , I promise
Hi I can’t wait for when you guys are holding baby Brock or brocklina
Hitting is not how you solve problems, and yes spanking is hitting, and it is still physical assualt, same meaning, different words. Solve problems with your kids through connection, words, and love, not hitting even if it's a smack on the hand or with the belt
Corporal punishment is legal in all 50 states weather you like it or not.
@@E.z.b.f And? Just say you like abusing kids, you freak.
Parents think it’s they know the best for the kids but they have to look at the future and how those things can mess kids up, also listen to Billyvsco everything I’ve ever heard him say is completely right and what actually helps the kids out is not what most parents do
When I was a kid my parents put a bar of soap in my mouth and I took a bite. I didn't swallow and just spit it out. But my parents never did that again. 😂
Lord have mercy god bless this child they will learn😊
Don’t spank your kids you need to explain to them what they did wrong because they don’t know what’s wrong so you spanking them is not helping in anyway think about it they’re new to this world they have no idea what is right and what is wrong so you can’t spank them for something they did wrong when they have no idea just explain it to them.
I have a five year old brother, I know how it is they listen more if you explain to them what they did wrong.
I already know you guys will be amazing parents! ❤
This one’s Not on Spotify???
They will be the best parents.
have a blseed week
Spanking your kid has literally been proven time and time again to not be effective it teaches the child to fear makin mistakes and bad decisions instead of understanding why those choices aren't ok and what the natural consequences are in real life. And has bee proven to cause trauma/ chain reaction of generational trauma.
I think you guys are gonna be great parents but i think you should do some research on spanking kids aka corporal punishment and how it often has negative consequences. I am currently a 2nd year student at Uni, studying Pedagogy(child development and education specialist) and I can tell u we've often talked about how corporal punishment is pretty much always a reflection of parental 'failure'(yes that's how we called it) bc it's almost always done 'in the heat of the moment' and is done out of frustration and high emotions parents are feeling, so u have to ask yourself have you really exhausted every other disciplinary action. I could go on and on about this bc we have talked a lot about it at Uni and gone over many research papers on it, but I'm gonna try to make it short- Firstly, there is a lot of research on the topic and it's negative impact and most professionals and specialist in my and other relevant fields are against it, so ofc there's a reason for that. Secondly- You need to ask yourself if your kid is old enough to understand why what they did is wrong and why they're getting punished in a way that brings them physical pain(sounds rough but that's essentially what spanking is-corporal punishment that brings the recipient pain and physical and mental discomfort). If they are old enough to understand, why are you turning to physical punishment rather than explaining it and using alternative actions that don't involve physical pain? And if they're not old enough to understand, again, why are you turning to physical punishment, because they don't understand why you're doing it and it will just cause very big negative feelings and frustration? Thirdly- Raising kids is raising future adults and when it comes to physical punishment lines can get very blurry bc your job as a parent is to love, respect, understand and protect your child, but by causing physical pain to a kid can often teach them that hitting is okay when you're doing it out of love which can become very problematic later in life and also at the young age bc kids who are spanked often choose physical confrontation as a way to solve problems with their peers bc they are just modelling what they see at home- high emotions leading to physical punishment. So essentially, you wouldn't hit eachother when mad/upset, so why would u do so with your kid who at that young age absorbs everything that's happening around them and is looking towards you as role models and 'safe spaces'. Lastly, I also think that with the whole letting family hug your kid whenever you just have to be very aware of the kid's personality and feelings and some kids just don't like being hugged a lot, which doesn't mean they dislike their relatives. For example I remember always disliking everyone hugging me when I was little and even now at 21 when my mom wants to hug me I'm sometimes not in the mood for it and it gets really frustrating when she won't just respect me saying 'no thanks I'm not in the mood' and will continue pushing till I snap at her to leave me alone😅. So yeah, basically just always try to be aware of your kid's feelings and understandings of the situations and you'll do a good parenting job. Good luck, I look forward to seeing you in that chapter of your life.❤
I did a research paper on the parenting styles and it's affect on children and let me tell you, a got tons research and evidence that showed the nasty affects of corporal punishment. Corporal punishment is basically you bullying your children and you have the mindset that because you are the parent you have the right to spank your kid. That mindset is so toxic. Would you spank your husband if he was having a bad day and was disrespectful to you, NO, So would you hit your child whose brain is not even fully developed
My mother was a ninja with the wooden spoon and the yard stick. Dad preferred the finger flick to the temple. Rare but effective and i knew the consequence was certain and real. My dad has passed but if i heard that tone of warning in his voice again at 48 it would stop me dead in my tracks.
Babies amount of hair and hair on back can reflect the gestational timing you were born
Just for people to know I was spanked as a kid yes I remember how it felt and it never felt good but I learned from it and also I tell my mom everything so take that as you want not every kid will rebel
I personally disagree with your answers about hugging. I believe that a child should have the decision to hug or not hug whoever they want to, including friends and family. That teaches them that they have autonomy over their own bodies. It teaches them if they don’t want to be touched by someone, they can say no. Family is not always safe and you never know who people truly are. I had an uncle that is now in prison for sa against one of his daughters for over 10 years and No One ever knew until she was an adult. You can do whatever you believe is right for your own family but this is just what I believe and thought it might help bring some perspective. I love you guys and I can’t wait to see if you have a bot or girl and watch you guys become parents! I started watching you guys before you got married when I was pregnant with my daughter and now I have a daughter and a son! It’s been the best years of my life and I can’t wait to continue to watch your family grow!
love your vids
Spanking/pop on the leg is an attention getter and it depends on the severity of the situation.
What’s a pop on the leg?
It’s better to have a mom yelled at their kid and put them in place and have them just sit there throwing a fit in front of everyone while they’re on their phone. I would rather have a mom showing that they care telling a kid that’s not OK then for them to just be ignoring it and it’s disturbing everyone else around them
I have to say this…please don’t cuss around your kids. My brother cusses around his 3 and 5 year old. The kids then cuss out in public when we are watching and in charge with them, and it’s embarrassing. It’s un called for.
You guys weren't ugly as babies..You were both really cute 🥰🥰 and you must really like ice cream 😂🤣..You should react to this podcast after the baby gets here and maybe a bit older
I think this kid ganna be having a 1980 life
I’m positive after little one is here, MOST of your answers to these questions are going to change. You should really come back after the baby is here and you’ve been parenting for a little bit and re-answer the questions.
What's an helicopter mum? 😂🤣 And a little girl would have Josh wrapped around her finger.. Can't wait to meet her 💗💗 and see you both in full parent mode
It’s an overprotective parent.
@@lynebeaulieu7856 Okay thanks 🥰
I feel it is never ok to spank your kid, violence ist the answer. Ofc it is your child so you get to parent them whatever way you like. And I think you guys are going to be amazing parents. I never got spanked growing up and I feel that was a good parenting choice. Maybe if I did get spanked then I wouldn’t go to my mum and I wouldn’t tell her things because maybe I would feel that she would spank me, Instead of listening to me. Every child is diffrent and they each respond to diffrent parenting. But I feel that maybe telling them they couldn’t go to their friends birthday party or that they are grounded is more effective. You wouldn’t want your child to feel they can’t talk to you if they make a mistake. You would want them to come and talk to you and ask for your opinion rather then doing and keeping things behind your back, because they are afraid to get spanked. Just my personal opinion but either way you guys are going to be amazing parents and I can’t wait to see baby boy or girl ❤❤❤
You teach through discipline if you treat your kids as your friends and not toe the line between parents and friends you will have major problems and you need to instill values with your kids that will benefit there lives and spanking your children works when you bring it back to the relationship between the parent and child by saying you doing this wrong thing brought you to this consequence and learn from the consequence be better and live a beneficial life
when they talked about a spanking, I don´t know about ya´ll but i strongly agree with them. I was spanked as a kid and I so deserved it, did I hate being spanked ? YES did i cry during such session as a child YES did it somewhat hurt YES, do I think my parents were in the wrong doing so? ABSOLUTELY NOT. As a matter of fact I´m thankful for it as it made me the person I am today. Will I do it to my own kids in the future? I won´t want too but I will if I see no other option. Like they said Every kid is different ☺
when we would say bad words as a kid my mom would get out the dawn dish soap and wash our mouth out
My mom put baking soda in my mouth once…it was disgusting, but I would never put baking soda or Tabasco sauce in my kids mouth
@@hailey3324 yeah I don't know about that
@@KoolKid-yc6cp wait, sorry, about what?
@@hailey3324 the tabasco sauce
@@KoolKid-yc6cp oh ya, I probably wouldn’t put tobacco sauce on my kids mouth, I’m not sure if it’s bad for the tastebuds if you absolutely hate it, and I absolute hated it
Love you
This was a good podcast. You guys are going to be great parents. Ok, I want you to know I am 55 years old. When I was growing up there were no cell phones. Not until I was 17-18 and they were the big fat one's that beeps too many times or they were flip phones. We were not allowed to have one. Soap, I got it or my brothers did if we cursed a bad word. It was not pleasant. Spanking, we got it if we did not behave for mom or if we were not home by the time. Ok, I had to be home by the time the street lights came on. I started getting upset when I was a senior in high school and still had to be home at the same time. My younger brother was a freshman and he did not have to be home until 11. First time I got the belt. Second time I got more than spanked, I was also grounded. I kept getting told it is because I am a girl. Alot more can happen with a girl. Who was the better kid? Me, I did not go to jail for going to a party, I was not doing alot of extra ciricalur activities either. If we (older brother and I) did not have our chores done of a morning as in breakfast dishes done or garden taken out our dad was at the school and we had to come back home and get it done. Thank goodness we lived a block from the middle and high school. My younger brother got by with not having it done. There is probably more but this is enough. I had good parents but stricken with my older brother and I. My younger brother came along and it was different. But he still turned out good. Took him a while but, he still turned out well.
I have trauma because my dad spanked me and i was and still scared of him
I hope you guys feel very differently about a lot of these things when you actually have your child. Please do not spank them
I will never spank my kids because I would cry in my room for hours when my dad spanked me . He probably did it because his parents spanked him but still. One time when me and my brother would go to our nanas he would get spanked by them with a wooden spoon and I would try not to cry so hard.
If people don’t want to spank their kids that’s cool. But there still has to be discipline and consistency in discipline.
Don’t spank your kids!!!!!
I agree that it’s ok , but my sister spanked her kids and I threatened mine and still to this day my kids have that scared respect where my sisters kids are like what ever spank me.
A belt or wooden spoon to spank kids is abuse.
I think spanking is okay. I was spanked and I deserved it and I don’t see my parents differently bc of it. I think people are so dramatic about it.
But no seriously, spanking is hitting. It’s just a “cute” word to cover up the word “hitting”.
Katy B can we be friends 😬😬❤️
If Katie was a premi baby then that could be why she had hair up her back.
I definitely do think with discipline, there is a point of going too far, but spanking or more like a "tap" I think is okay, but I do not agree with hot sauce or soap or how parents will really beat their kids thinking that it will help, but in reality it just makes them afraid of you and can traumatize them. If you leave marks on your kids, it's definitely way too far