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To forgive someone doesn’t mean you have to continue the relationship with them. It is perfectly acceptable to forgive someone of an offence and place the appropriate boundaries to ensure the offence doesn’t happen again 😊

You don’t need a PhD in psychology to understand the importance of forgiveness.

I find this comment interesting. How come you felt the need to state that Taylor Swift is created and loved by God? Obviously she is, but what is your intention in stating that? I disagree that I'm using an innocent response to make a personal point, I'm simply watching the video and sharing my observations. And I'm not throwing darts at Taylor Swift as a person, I'm analyzing what she is saying and I disagree with her - this doesn't mean I have a problem with her personally. "If you are going to use real people in your messages, make sure you know them, like what’s really in their heart." This is ridiculous. There's nothing wrong with observing people who you don't know personally and forming a judgement of their motives and thought processes, if you're being honest about it. Sometimes you get it right, sometimes you get it wrong, and if you get it wrong, you make the correction. I mean, look at what you're saying right now - "you are using an innocent response based on a person to make a personal point that is yours." In saying this, you've made a judgement of me and my motives and you don't know me from a bar of soap. And boy, if we only pray for people that we know personally, we're underutilizing the power of prayer - we should be praying for everyone! God bless.

This video certainly was not a critique of her marriage - I have no idea what her marriage was like or even who she was married to. This video is a critique of her answer when asked the question “when did you know your marriage was over?” She claimed that she knew her marriage was over when she chose to focus on her happiness and self-love - in other words, when she chose to put her own needs first and focus on herself. It makes sense that she knew her marriage was over then because that’s exactly what happens when you put your needs first over the other in a marriage; it begins to dissipate.

How do you know he was a good man? Were you there?

@@AshleighDanburry stop the nonsense. He wasn’t abusing that woman or cheating on her. She merely left him bcuz she wanted to put herself 1st & she “outgrew him “ she said it herself. No reason to break up a nuclear home & certainly no real grounds for divorce. She will regret this. But Corey Hardrick is flourishing without her so mans rejection is Gods redirection! Tia was holding him back

Yes and no, it really depends on a persons maturity. I’ve met many Christian/religious people use "god“ as a reason to why they did something in ways to justify their actions in relationships and or say god forgave them they "made right“ now their partner has to.

If the marriage is abusive it needs to end!

What are you talking about? My marriage was not even openly abusive, but my ex was passive aggressive and it ate me up. Like literally, as I can see how he contributed to me developing cancer with the bottled ongoing stress. What more damaging when someo e is openly abusive. Like don't think twice, immediate divorce after the first incident. I don't care how hatd someone had it, you are supposed to feel safe at home not threatened. They can go heal in therapy, but I won't ever be punching bag, not in open, not in hidden passive-agressive abuse.

Yes girl, you and your concealer stay in your marriage. Keep that man to yourself so no other woman would suffer.

Did you guys watch the video? I think you’re misunderstanding what she’s saying (if it’s in alignment with what I was saying in the video). Divorce is something we should never celebrate because anyone who enters into a marriage never enters it with the intention of getting a divorce. This doesn’t mean that you should never get divorced, some situations obviously warrant it. But if divorce occurs, it’s a sad situation and should be treated as such.

You’re correct - if men don’t embrace the strength they embody and use it for good, then society won’t stand.

@@kanepadams Oh no, society wont stand. We'll fall to our knees. Whatever shall we do! Good thing we have a paragon of masculinity like you to guide our way.

@@yaneznayoui1597 why, I’m flattered, thank you. Just doing my bit to help 😊

@@kanepadams A true altruist. Whereas men of the past ventured out into the world to accomplish their ambitions, now they complain online about women they're having trouble competing with. This change in tactic is sure to alleviate society from it's ills. I tip my hat to you sir. Salute! ❤

Yes I completely agree! You said it a lot better than I could say myself. I suppose it could be argued that it may be more difficult to forgive as a non Christian, as a non Christian won’t have the ‘template’ of forgiveness from God to run with - which in a way, makes it more admirable if they do decide to forgive. But yes, forgiveness will result in all that you have listed, which is beneficial despite the belief system one holds.

I don’t get to qualify what forgiveness is, and neither do you - it’s an objective term which pertains to releasing a debt. Whether or not you choose to forgive, however, is your choice.

Hi there, I'm not sure what religion you believe but I think you need to forgive to get there and not sure what religion this is but your heart is weighed against a feather and if it's heavier than that feather you can't get there either. I don't care about who knows what I care about what they have to say and if they are sincere about what they are saying.

Done to you?

What did he do?

Good on you for admitting that you can’t find it in your heart to forgive your brother - that’s not easy to do. Something to consider is that forgiveness needs to be granted before it can be felt. A lot of people will think to themselves “I’ll forgive him when I feel to forgive” but if you carry that mentality, you will never forgive your brother - because those feelings won’t come. Forgiveness is a choice you need to make first, and then the feelings will follow. I agree with you that forgiveness needs to be worked on - it’s certainly a step-by-step process. Perhaps it’s better to forgive smaller transgressions of others first, as to get the “feel” for forgiveness, then slowly work your way up to your brother. As long as you are moving forward in forgiveness (despite how long it might take), that’s something worth celebrating. Praying for you and your journey in forgiving your brother 🙏🏻

@@iisanityfallsii He has done everything that you can think of except murder he didn't succeed in his plans. All the evil things that you can think of and some that you will never ever think about, he has done to me. I've been told by a therapist that I deserve a gold metal for just surviving what my parents and brother have done to me and to still be out in the world and being my normal. Mommy Dearest is nothing compared to my mother. I have forgiven my parents because they asked for forgiveness and meant it. I love them unconditionally and I love everyone in my life unconditionally at least what I believe what unconditional is.

Good question. There is a difference between granting forgiveness and receiving it. When Christ died on the cross, he forgave the sin of the world in that one act (1 John 2:2 “He is the propitiation for our sins, and not for ours only but also for the sins of the whole world.”), therefore, His forgiveness was granted in whole there and then. Whether or not we receive that forgiveness is our choice - He’s done His part, we need to do ours. The same applies when it comes to forgiveness for us. It’s our Christian duty to love and forgive our enemies, whether or not they are remorseful. Our job is to grant the forgiveness, their job is to receive it. If they choose not to receive it, that’s on them 😊

@@kanepadams Thanks for the answer

Bible says you are allowed to divorce he/she. That is the only condition that divorce can be initiated.

Biblically, you are required to forgive the transgressing party, but the relationship doesn’t have to continue.

Great question! There will be A LOT of people who are in the same camp. There may be things that you've done that are very difficult to move on from, especially if you're surrounded by people who, even their presence, remind you constantly of the transgression that occurred. To experience this regularly is not easy, to say the least. Something that could help is to understand that it's not your job to forgive yourself. You don't have the power to do that, and as startling as that sounds, it's actually a tremendous relief - you don't want to be burdened with the job of forgiving yourself, that's God's job, He's the judge. If you're struggling with unforgiveness towards yourself, take the transgression, present it to God and deeply ask for forgiveness. The next step is important. Then, thank God and receive that forgiveness: "Lord, I thank you for your forgiveness and I receive it in Jesus' name." I believe there is power in audibly confessing that you receive His forgiveness. Then, whenever you are reminded of the particular transgression, say to yourself "Christ died for that." When you constantly remind yourself of what Christ has done because of His incredible love for you, you'll find it easier to let go (hopefully) of the transgression that you committed. Hope that's helpful! :)

That's understandable, whereas I would say that there aren't two types or 'kinds' of indifference, but rather levels of indifference. The genocide of Jews during the Holocaust was indifference in its worst form - this is what happens when 'micro' manifestations of indifference are left to fester and grow into unimaginable proportions. Although the indifference of a toxic relationship and the indifference of Jews during the Holocaust are wildly different manifestations, they both come from the same seed of indifference, which if not addressed early on, will wreak nothing but havoc in your life and to those around you :)

I've said this in a few comments but it's worth mentioning again: Forgiveness doesn't mean reconciliation. You can forgive someone wholeheartedly, yet at the same time, place boundaries in your life to protect yourself. You can forgive someone and never speak to them again, that's completely valid. Here's something to think about. You mentioned that it's important not to "give power to someone who is toxic to you" (which I agree with). To not forgive someone is to do exactly that, give them power over you. How? Because by withholding forgiveness and taking a stoic approach, you adopt resentment instead, which will eat you up inside. You might let them go and never speak to them again, but deep down the debt is still there, and it will hound you until you sort it out. Unless you forgive, they will hold power over you through resentment.

Sounds like a good plan to me :)

Right, I can see where this can become skewed. Perhaps it's best if I articulate definitions of Forgiveness and Indifference to ensure that we're on the same page. Forgiveness is diagnosing exactly what transgression occurred in the given situation, and if the opposite party is at fault, choosing not to hold them in your debt for an indeterminate period of time. You 'release' them from your debt. Most situations require face-to-face diagnosis and acknowledgment of the transgression that took place, a consensus on which party is at fault, followed by an apology if you're at fault or forgiveness if they're at fault. This doesn't necessarily mean reconciliation, but that's another conversation. Indifference is (in psychological terms) the absence of concern for the human condition (particularly that of an individual or group). To become indifferent is to 'not care anymore,' but not in a good way. Most of the time, it involves the implementation of a superiority complex to justify the lack of concern, which if left unchecked, will result in nothing but trouble. My argument in this video (which perhaps wasn't displayed as clearly as I hoped, so that's on me) is that taking the path of forgiveness is almost always better than taking the path of indifference. Forgiveness is certainly far more difficult in the short term, but when done correctly, is far more beneficial in the long term. I hope the definitions clear up a few things. I appreciate you reaching out and contributing to the conversation! You're sincere in your approach and I appreciate that :)

I think this is avoidance? If your mother chooses to fix things and starts seeing you differently, lovingly even, maybe then u won't be indifferent after all ? I think i feel the same thing you described about choosing to block their interference in our lives and all forms of interaction with them and I think it's a defense mechanism against all the pain they've put us through. I blocked my father because I can't forgive him. But maybe I'm hoping that one day I'll view him differently, because I'm also tired of avoidance. As long as we feel the danger of letting them in, we're not indifferent.

First of all, I'm so sorry to hear about your traumatising childhood with your mother. That would've been beyond awful to experience, so my heart goes out to you and I mean that. I must say, this is a really tricky question to answer. I suppose something to think about is that whatever someone does to you, no matter how evil and atrocious it is, there will come a point where you'll need to forgive them - not for their sake, but for yours. Because what's the alternative? Choosing to carry that unforgiveness for the rest of your life? That will produce nothing but resentment that will eat you up inside. If it's not indifference in this situation, what would I call it? Honestly, I really don't know! You've stumped me on this one. I'll have to think about this more. What I do know is that one of the most effective healing methods is forgiveness. It's also one of, if not THE most difficult thing you'll ever have to do in life. It doesn't mean reconciliation - you have permission to never see or speak of your mother again. But deep down, you can rest assured knowing that you have released her from your debt which has also freed you simultaneously. Thanks for reaching out, you've opened a very enlightening discussion!

@@kanepadams Oh no don't apologize! It's not your fault. I have forgiven. I just forgive myself instead. Since I was a child and with everything that happened forgiveness was given. It was just given to me and the childhood version of myself. I agree with you that forgiveness is important, but I think giving forgiveness to the right people is also very important. There are many definitions for forgiveness. This is the one I choose to live by: Forgiveness is a consequence one gets when they have improved their lives. When someone has put in work to be the better parts of themselves and truly for regrets previous transgressions. My mother chose to be the type of person she is. She doesn't regret her decisions, she never has. With that definition in mind at least in my life she hasn't deserved to be forgiven. If she chose to change it would be different, however, she hasn't and if I were to wager I would bet she never will. As for resentment that's just not how I choose to live my life. I choose to see the world in a different way. My point of view is that if she ever chooses to change then okay, but if she doesn't that's her choice it's her life it's not within my responsibilities to give her a piece of mind. I've already forgiven myself and given myself that piece of mind. Anything further would be solely for her benefit. Unless she earns it I will not. I see no reason to grant forgiveness to those who will try and kill their own child. This is just how I live my life though it's within my perspective. I guess that's a beautiful thing about freedom we get to choose how we see the world and what we choose to do with our lives. Within my life the only person I have to forgive is myself so far it's working out great, lol. 🤷‍♀️😂🥰

@@siwarmejbri501 I don't think we're the same. I just refuse to have toxic and terrible people in my life. A blood relation does not give somebody the right to constantly disrespect me, to constantly belittle me or degrade me. It also doesn't give them the right to trample over my boundaries. I'm a human being and I deserve to be treated like one. And while yes I have healed from the memories and the pain that they once inflicted on me. That doesn't mean I'm going to let them back in my life. They're still the same people I cut out because they are toxic, manipulative, and all around bad people. Why would I bring them back in my life when they're only going to cause me more pain? That doesn't really make sense in my opinion. They chose to be the people they are today and they refused to change. In my life I have no room for people who will only cause me pain. If one day they do choose to fundamentally change. please do not hold your breath I can almost guarantee they will not. Especially, my mother she's a rather prideful woman, lol. It would be different, but like I said I don't count on it. I hope this clarifies some things.

@@mirandalewis7238 It sounds like you're on the right track, not allowing resentment to dictate your life - with this point alone, you're ahead of a lot of people. I would say that I disagree with your definition of forgiveness, BUT, this is because I'm a Christian and therefore live my life following biblical principles. The biblical approach to forgiveness is that it's important to forgive everyone because Jesus Christ forgave you. In other words, every single human is in the same boat - we're all sinners in need of saving. Our 'good works' can never earn us salvation, therefore none of us deserves forgiveness. It's only through Christ's perfect life and death on a cross that we can be forgiven of our sins. Therefore, for us to withhold forgiveness towards others would be unjust and hypocritical of us - we have been forgiven by Christ, therefore we should go ahead and do likewise. Now, I don't know where you stand in faith, but I recognise that anyone who is not a Christian will find it difficult to accept the concept of forgiving everyone, as they haven't experienced this said forgiveness from God nor necessarily understand the biblical application (which is totally ok). Forgiving everyone, no matter the transgression would seem like a weak and degrading task, especially if you deem that they don't deserve it. So we can agree to disagree on the definition in that regard :) I appreciate your inquisitive and open mind - it's always nice to talk to someone with their head screwed on lol. One last thing is that it's unfortunate that RUclips Shorts can only be 1min - I go into far more detail in the full video so feel free to click on the link in the vid if you want to learn more.

I find it odd how you stated "indifference is perhaps the ultimate form of anger", when I would call that forgiveness. Forgiveness, in my mind, is not for the person who wronged you, it's for yourself. It's saying "I'm not going to seek revenge or persecution". But it's still really weird how the video frames "letting go of anger" as "the ultimate form of anger"

Before we go into this discussion, I think it's important to establish something: Forgiveness doesn't always equate to reconciliation. In other words, you can forgive someone wholeheartedly, yet at the same time, place boundaries in your life to protect yourself - you can forgive someone and never speak to them again, and that's completely acceptable (although I'd say that this approach should be taken with caution and be reserved for extreme circumstances). You're correct in that the action still matters, and this is where I think people have a warped idea of what forgiveness is. Some think of forgiveness as ‘slap paint on a transgression, downplay the situation, pretend it never happened and go back to normal.’ That’s not forgiveness, that’s cowardice and stupidity. Forgiveness is diagnosing exactly what transgression occurred in the given situation, and if the opposite party is at fault, choosing not to hold them in your debt for an indeterminate period of time. It takes strength to do that. You might find we probably agree more than disagree - letting go of people who are hurting you is a very healthy thing to do, and you certainly don't have to forget in order to move on (unless you find yourself replaying the situation over and over in your head). I would just argue that forgiveness is an important aspect of the 'moving on' process :)

Yes it is! Thanks for the correction. It sounds like Rebecca Manley Pippert must've taken this quote and modified it.

This cracked me up 🤣 forgiveness for her means her career is over lol

It depends on what your definition of forgiveness is. Some think of forgiveness as ‘slap paint on a transgression, pretend it never happened and go back to normal.’ That’s not forgiveness, that’s weakness and stupidity. Forgiveness is diagnosing exactly what transgression occurred in the given situation, and if the opposite party is at fault, choosing not to hold them in your debt for an indeterminate period of time. Resulting peace is desired but not always possible - forgiveness doesn’t always mean reconciliation. You can forgive someone and (in extreme situations) never allow them into your life again - that's wisdom. At the end of the day, choosing to hold someone in your debt in the deep recesses of the heart will only produce bitterness and resentment, and life is too short for that 😊

Good question. Some situations can be resolved by choosing to forgive the perpetrator in your own heart through prayer, and that's all that's needed (especially if the perpetrator is no longer alive). However, I'd say most situations require face-to-face diagnosis and acknowledgment of the transgression that took place and a consensus on which party is at fault. This is an important form of Biblical judgement that we must do. Work out what exactly went wrong. If you're the one at fault, apologise. If they're the one at fault, forgive and set boundaries if you need to. The ultimate aim of forgiveness is reconciliation but sometimes that's not possible, and that's ok. Apostle Paul in Romans says: "If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all." The 'if possible' implies that there are situations where it's not possible. It's not easy to forgive, but it's always worth it when done correctly :)

And she's fine with being an old cat lady..she always embraced that imagery proudly...she owns 3 pretty cute cats...but i don't think she'll ever end up bitter considering how successful her life and career is.. atleast for the foreseeable future.

@@Azarath_Metrion_Zinthos Cats aren't the companions humans actually need! They're like windturbines and solar panels. They subsidize electricity, but they aren't the primary sources we have to have for things to function. She's young. She has a lot of time left to figure things out. The problem is there are too many people around her who will be willing to exploit her for money.

@@dr.emilschaffhausen4683 Any animal, including a cat, can be the best companion on earth . Only humans can be so arrogant they actually think people can’t live without them.

I’m so glad to hear that - forgiveness isn’t easy but it’s by far the best way forward :)

This is true. My only thought would be that Kingdom principles still apply in the world. Whether or not someone is a Christian, the consequences of unforgiveness will still manifest in equal volumes. There will be Christians who refuse to forgive and are eaten up with resentment, and there will be non-Christians who forgive and enjoy the peaceable fruits that come with it.

@@kanepadams110%