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Funny you say that about 10 Things I Hate About You, growing up I loved watching Matilda and turns out she is an INTJ too!

I describe myself as two people, the one before MBTI and the very different one after I discovered my type and many more. I feel like I leaped few years forward by understanding about INTJ type and more deeper topics. The crazy thing is I also checked the MBTI when I was younger thinking its about job and was like "architect, I should be an architect" and just forgot about it until few months ago. And what a tool it has been for personal development.

3 variables, admiration+respect+trust = Love huh? Wow, only 3. Interesting. What about attraction? Is that part of admiration? What about affection? I do agree with her definitions with admiration, respect, and trust. Nothing annoys/puts me off more, than someone suddenly acting out of character. I can understand traumatic events (i.e., accidents, death of a love one, rape, severe lack of sleep, food, water, etc.,) can cause a person's character radically change. Perhaps because I'm on a autism spectrum, but I can suffer from being overloaded with emotion that it inhibits my thinking? This only happens when someone I love and/or deeply trust hurts me either emotionally or physically. Just curious. Thanks Kiara, for sharing your perceptions and thought processes in regards to your interpretation of "Love."

Another awesome video, Kiara! It got me to wondering, in your opinion as an INTJ, do you enjoy typical romantic gestures? Such as flowers, love notes, hand holding, etc

As an Intj, I found some key points that may apply(or not). Is Ni objective/neutral/ ying and yang. Does Te lean masculine or feminine. Does Fi lean masculine or feminine. Does Se lean masculine or feminine. Spectrum analysis of internal mental structure and mental structure building may be key for self-development and internal growth. I like to frame love in terms of peace and joy and gives comforting solace. However, in a harsh world we often put on our game face to get through life's hurddles. So, finding our happy place, can also have its challenges. Ni is such a grand concept/reality, it is hard to find like minded individuals, especially high achiever types. Academic, physical, ect.

Well Damn, now I feel loved and encouraged.

haha yeah some INTJs have resting bitch face.

Interesting ideas. Voice is maybe partly out of sync with video, so it was causing disctractions.

Great video. I love this type of “love” video, insightful without focusing on romance. I once read/heard that freedom is more valuable than love. So when you say you love people that help you feel free, it makes sense and is very relatable. But I think it’s funny because I love INTJs because they ground me, they are logical and consistent. Me and another ENFP, it would be fun for a short time, but very chaotic and it would eventually combust. I don’t understand INTJ hate. You guys are my favorite.

Wow! Interesting content, but over 8 minutes of video and not one, single smile! Loosen up a little and try to look like you enjoy talking to your audience :) Hang in there!

On the topic of over-preparing versus going off the cuff: I (very briefly) was an adjunct professor and had to prepare lectures. I was faced with a similar problem and I generally got around it by over-preparing myself through study, but then drafting my notes for the lecture based solely around the major topics and key points under each. That way, I could make sure to have each topic and key point addressed, but then leave myself room to discuss the point at greater length. Not sure it translates well to RUclips, as I had direct interactions with my students rather than a camera staring at me, but figured I would let you know what worked for me in the past.

I think learning about psychology as an INTJ is like unlocking parts of the F package the more you learn about it.

You are very efficient at pretending you are a human, you should teach INTP's

Do all INTJs have a hard time playing a game for fun? I play shooter games with my bestie (INTJ) and they always get mad if we don't win. It's a casual game. I'm having fun whether I win or lose. But it seems like they care more about winning than me (playing with me, talking, hanging out, etc) I'm not even the worst player. They let it ruin their whole experience. I just don't know why it has to be so serious. Any input is appreciated. I try to be understanding.

Very interesting. I've watched a few of your other videos about MBTI Personality Theory, which I've had an interest in for a while as I'm an INTP and for us it's all about seeking the underlying patterns and principles in everything. We want to understand every aspect of human endeavor and how it all fits together into one big picture. Most people are sensing types, interested mainly in concrete reality instead of ideas, and don't understand this abstract way of seeing the world. A common stereotype of Rational (NT) types is they're a bunch of awkward nerds and not very physical or athletic. I guess that's not true all the time. Having Extraverted Sensing as one of your main functions is undoubtedly the key to being more physically capable, or having "kinesthetic intelligence." I wish I had more of that, but INTP's usually don't. We really do fit the stereotype in many cases. I guess I was lucky in that I was just barely good enough to play sports as a kid and not get made fun of like your typical nerd.

Hi Kiara, about a year ago I found out I am an INTJ female and I’ve been researching this type on RUclips since. I relate to this video a lot more so than those generic videos about INTJ females in general. I appreciate you making this video because there aren’t a lot of us who would go through the effort you went through.

great top tips here💯💯💯💯👏🏼👏🏼

Excellent advice & well presented with a smiling demeanor! Kudos!

Are you from Australia?

Me an ENFP who is mediocre at a wide array of hobbies, that loves INTJs 🥹, just hanging out. Your channel is really great and insightful. I hope you continue to upload.

18:20 also cried a lot as a kid and then stopped crying completely.

Yep inxjs do sports all the time and are active its just that we will still find ways to be introverts. I know this intj guy who's also national level athlete

I self tested out as an INFP Then when I was tested by a professional the results were INTJ...that shocked me *scratches head* I do love efficiency!

Thinking back to playing high school baskeball as INTJ. I did best when the coach didnt micromanage me or other players from the sidelines. They just let us play and be in the moment. (Se) Imagine a coach constantly trying to control you while you are trying to play. Always diagraming on the sidelines different places you should move to while on the court. When they did that to me I would crash because they were making me think while trying to play. Doesnt sound like you have that problem in your sport. Once you are in movement they cant stop you. No one can call time out while you are in the middle of moving and then make you think new things while trying to do.

Watch the series Queen's Gambit for an INTJ female.

Hi 👋

This is crazy. I am a female INTJ who grew up playing a lot of sports but is now a grad student doing research. Everything you said about perfectionism when it comes to sport and overthinking less in other settings has been my experience except I struggle with over-visualizing projects and balancing creativity with deadline, and instead find solace in sport. It makes sense if Ni particularly fixates on what we take seriously. Regarding Trust: I am experiencing a situation similar to yours with your new coaches. I have new professors every few months and they're busy, and very few of them are willing to truly mentor. They don't know me or are too tired to point me towards what I might need. As a result, I am very independent and sometimes over-rely on my ability to self-improve/criticize (which leads to low self-esteem). The same goes for friends. I don't trust easily because it is difficult to build a meaningful, in-person, growth-oriented relationship nowadays. But I'm trying new tactics! I'm not sure if you might have some advice for this. Having my INTJ mind and studying the social sciences has been a sometimes beautiful and sometimes strange, isolating experience. I have recently arrived at what other folks have commented: to stop thinking about the doing, and just doing and seeing what happens. Thank you for sharing this lovely and rich reflection Kiara:)

It's nice seeing someone kindred who is so comfortable with solitude. I tend to feel pretty alone in that.

Seems typical for INTJs, that they forget all the reasoning after they come to a conlcusion. I always forget all those "useless details". This is especially obvious when I'm with my INTP friend, who will stores every minor detail in his head. He even knows way more details about my life from a few years ago then me. When someone questions our conclusions, its usually very hard to explain even if it makes totel sense in our mind, if we think about it. In part because we forget the detailed reasoning, in part because those abstract concepts are difficult to explain in words that the other one will understand - at least for me. Like you mentioned, it can quickly lead to self doubts, if I can't recall my arguments for my conclusion.

I am an INTJ and have got into running through parkrun. I am now very much into stoicism as well, of which a key principle is knowing what is and is not under our control.

Male INTJ here with knowledge of the cognitive functions. Have you heard of Personality Hacker? I took two of their classes - the initial MBTI class on typing people and their coaching course from an MBTI lens. I'm an aspiring personal growth coach myself now for introverts. Regarding your video, I resonate with so much you said. I've been thinking *why* I have a need for control in two situations: when others are involved, and when it's just me. With others, I think it's because I want things done right and to high standards + perfectionism, and I think most people do the bare minimum. When it's something not involving others, I think it's because no plan= chaos & unpredictability. And I don't get along with chaos & unpredictability in most cases😅. When you talked about emotions, I learned that writing out my emotions on paper helps processes them faster. Would love to connect with you!

Yes we relate as intj’s 😝 As INTJs, our **Introverted Intuition (Ni)** makes us naturally reflective, always focused on long-term goals and patterns. But once we understand the situation, our **Extraverted Thinking (Te)** helps us act quickly and decisively. Under stress, we actually tend to perform better because the pressure forces us to focus on what’s most important, helping us make decisions faster. We may miss some small details in the rush, but it's because we're driven by efficiency and results, not perfection.

Thank you for your video. I was thinking that for someone who’s just starting out on RUclips, your body language was already very well thought out, and then I realized it’s probably because of your NLP training. As an INTJ, I completely understand your journey and the struggles you’ve faced, as well as the sense of relief that comes from discovering the MBTI and understanding it for our type. My question for you, as a male INTJ speaking to a female INTJ, is: don’t you think it’s generally harder to be a female INTJ than a male INTJ? All INTJs struggle with the feeling of being different, but we also sense a strong love and ethics within us that don’t require anyone else’s validation. At least for men, if they’re not pursuing women, they have the luxury of being left alone and in peace (which our introverted side deeply needs), whereas women often have to deal with constant unwanted attention from men who don’t understand boundaries, making it harder to be left in peace. Now, I know you’ve lived in a very small community and experienced isolation during the pandemic, so maybe this isn’t something you’ve dealt with as much.

Just found your channel. Yup you are an Intj. Especially, if you love masculine logic. However, I found out how to balance it out, with the femine touch. I found it intregal to my success, and sexy as f.

The portion where you were saying 'don't think about it, do it' really hits home to me. I do a lot of writing for my work, and I am constantly thinking about the things I am about to write next rather than what I am writing right now... leads to misspelling words... too often.

Stumbled up on this channel and was intrigued to actually watch an self imposed interview of INTJ female. I have never encountered one, or been near one long enough to tell they were a INTJ. I've read they are the rarest of the types, so perhaps that has sometime to do with it. Also, in my younger years handing out in a public/college libraries, museums, movie theaters, where most people was usually quiet and to themselves, perhaps I was around them and hadn't notice, though I usually pride myself at being rather observant of others. Anyway, I am curious if they, female INTJs I mean, can for short period of time blend in with other types like an INFJ can? I've learned and experienced first hand that females in general are better at blending or acting then we men are, so was curious to see if INTJ females were good at that too. If my questions seem odd or too invasive, please understand I mean no disrespect and only trying to learn and understand. Also, I do understand not all women and men, of whatever personality type they may test can be clearly defined by the type definitions, so I don't expect answers to all be the same or consistent between different, which is just as informative and more stimulating than if they were. Anyway, thanks Kiara Riddingius for telling us a little about yourself and what its like from your perspective.

"high performance hypnotherapy" lol the world is full of absolute freaks, and thanks to YT and whatnot we get to see them wild out in their 2-3 digit sub channels

10:10 - I have 1 INTJ friend and yes I do feel special :-)

4:22 - Great quote Kiara 🫶

INTJ ladies, we are the perfect match. Come slide in my DM's 😎😎

Male INTJ here rediscovering my personality type I took the questionnaire when I was a teen and was so fascinated by it then I moved on, and now I'm in my 30s took it again still and INTJ so now I'm relearning about my type and my gf's type. It has been helping me understand the growth that I have experienced lately and how to be a better person and partner. Loved the video and it's great to see female INTJs your even more rare then male INTJs! 😮

Hi Kiara, I agree with you. I am a INFJ and like you I did not feel I fit in the majority of the circles I was in. MBTI has given me better understanding on the reasons why and it has helped me a lot in my personal growth. I totally recommend it !! … pd. I have never seen this as putting people in boxes. That sounds a little negative, but I am a big believer in understanding the big picture by classifying parts into smaller groups for better analysis and comprehension. I also recommend taking the enneagram test, I feel it fills some little voids left by the MBTI. So when you combine both, it’s huge knowledge at your hands. ie I am INFJ 5w6 … which explains why I love problem solving and logic so much and I am able to blend the objective solution with the implementation leading people considering their emotions.

Can you link the NLP training you did? Would love to learn more!

Hi, intj teen here🤗 i love discovering other intj women

Hey Kiara 👋 thank you for the free course! INFJ here

shared similar experience, came to know about MBTI around 4 months ago. Took weeks to confirm my type. Prior to such exposure, I thought my strength was analytical skill and worked 13 years on a skill with unfruitful results. The past 4 months I have accomplished more than the last 13 years, finally monetized my research by capitalizing Ni cognitive function.

Knowing my MBTI type (INTJ female) has helped me hugely in my social interactions. After I did a deep dive, and more aware of my strengths and weaknesses, I am working on balancing out the more extreme parts of my personality. My marriage has always been good, but we are next level now knowing that I see the big picture whilst my husband (ESTJ) gets busy with the small details. We are in the process of building a new house. We are both efficient planners/organizers but I come up with the concept and he puts the 'plan' into action and deals with all the people! He and I work brilliantly together. Where we come up short is finding time for emotional intimacy which we have to plan for and schedule in!!!

I used to have a "dream" that I pursued until I realized that personality wise it didn't fit with me and long-term it wouldn't work out even if I succeeded. I did an Ikigai diagram to look at what I really want and works for me and those are the main things I check for in most of my decisions/goals. I am now working in an industry where knowledge is democratized, accessible and people are not so greedy or backstabbing and are actually excited to share what they learned with you.

I tested intj. It's a relief knowing my weaknesses and strengths to eventually work on them. I had to take the test a few times at different workplaces. I hated that some people treated me like an intj instead of just being present in our interactions. I could tell that they studied the types very superficially and tried to pull other people's strings like puppets. Maybe they were trying to relate, but it didn't feel like it. It is true, it made me realize that some people are alien to each other because of how their mind works.

I crave fun, excitement with fun exciting friends.