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Yes where does the time go. I have been parenting for 33 years all up and my youngest is starting university and turning 18. It goes way to fast😢

yikes

You are most welcome Martha! :-)

What you are feeling is normal. You are a good mom. They will come back to visit, you will be ok. But, yes, it is ok to know and mourn for the best years of your life...great moms know these were in fact THE BEST YEARS b/c we LOVED being moms. Great job...and hang in there. I feel your pain like it was yesterday. Your golden years will be filled with the fruits of your labor: your children will come home and visit, great moms miss their children; but those same kids do come home eventually b/c they love you too! This moment of disconnection will pass, take this time to care for yourself, cry if you need to, totally normal! Prepare yourself for those grandbabies, and if no grandbabies prepare yourself for that possibility, too. Regardless, the fact that you FEEL loss is normal; it is a testament for the love you feel for the children you raised. Don't be so hard on yourself, you are not alone. Many of us gave up outside friendships b/c our children came first. You will find friends if and when you want to. FACT. I really think that "social anxiety" is the loss we feel. We need to give ourselves time to mourn the loss we feel (that is REAL) when I children leave. You will be okay, I promise!

Wow you have articulated exactly how I feel ... especially playing back their childhood and all the mistake ... I'd love a do over 😢

2 years have past since you posted your comment... Are you okay now ? I'm going through this right now... My youngest moved out today to his new house... My heart hurts ... The house is silent and empty and I hate this feeling but I know deep down nothing stays the same and I need to learn to cope with the changes...

@@pammir631 it’s excruciatingly painful isn’t it? Not only was the last few years robbed of my connection with my son when he turned about 12 due to relentless parental alienation and being smeared behind my back by my own mother who has profound envy over the beautiful and sacred bond my son and I shared in large part because she is a covert passive aggressive narcissist that was very abusive towards me my entire childhood up until present and we never had a relationship and I was her only child but she also wanted deeply to drive a wedge between my son and I and she succeeded. I couldn’t understand why my son who was once so close to me and adored me with his entire being had become so detached and started pushing me away, now at age 16 he’s become even more closed off and even began demonstrating the same disrespect, disregard and devaluation of who I am to where I don’t even get a happy birthday mom, Happy Mothers Day or any acknowledgement or a little gift for Christmas, entirely stopped saying goodnight and good morning and they both ended up treating me horribly while all I did was remain small and voiceless, meanwhile continued to provide, chauffeur, advocate for his special needs, made sure he had the best possible 16th bday party, maintained all the efforts to stay connected and told him I loved him no matter what, that I will always be there for him if he ever needs me. And all I got was being severely devalued and now discarded. I miss my son so sooo much, the precious years I did have with him I will always cherish. I will never make him feel guilty or make him feel pressured to love me in return. My heart aches and longs for the beautiful bond we once shared and the joy we both experienced until he was about 12 but as the saying goes, we must love with an open hand and learn to let go and what is truly ours will return to us eventually. I’m already bracing myself for years and even decades of not having my son reach out to me or to desire a connection with me. Only God will help me pass through this trial so I cling to Him and His promises. 🙏

I’m sorry. You must feel very lonely.

Exactly how I feel ... what was it all for? I know this is negative thinking.

I think you are normal and HEALTHY for acknowledging that you LOVED being a mom and it WAS the most important thing in the world to be a great mom. I am in your boat, I am happy that both of my children are thriving outside of my home; but it is NORMAL to miss the best part of our lives; raising the next generation. It is OK to be sad over this. I never understood the women who jumped for joy when their kids grew up; that is unhealthy in my mind. ...I mean literally counting the days till your "freedom"? Naw, I'll never understand that perspective. 2 years out and yes I enjoy my new found "time" for myself to do what I like to do, but what I wouldn't give for one more day watching my boys discover a spider or show me a drawing...those are the moments a mom lives for. I am a and have been a self-employed woman since I was 22, don't let these psychologists tell you it is unhealthy to mourn the loss of your kids, totally normal, to feel otherwise is ABNORMAL. You will survive, they won't "need" you in the same way, but they will visit, they will still show up, and you will get on with your own life knowing you raised healthy, happy children who WILL come back to you occasionally/sporadically" for advice or just to see you and tell you what is happening. Great job moms! You DID IT RIGHT! The heartache and loss is normal!

@@sharlaevans7339 thank you - I tried to "love" this post but it did not give me option- but I do love it

There’s a huge need for tutors right now. I got a job at a tutoring center and it helps me. I get to interact with kids and it fulfills a purpose.

@@AnaLucia-wy2ii brilliant! I will look into it! Thank you so much!

I know how you feel. I visualise grand children... but my daughter who wants children won't be nearby. My eldest doesn't want them and that's ok. My youngest would like them but has yet to meet someone ... It's hard 😢

Late comment, but YES you can do something. Both of my kids just left and my entire identity was wrapped up in our happy family, I started making a list of things I might enjoy about a year before they left , ( knitting class, flower cutting garden, walking the dog more, yoga classes, baking bread, redecorate a room, date night with hubby) random things that would pop in my mind. I’m now forcing myself to look over that list and get out of the house and do these things. It helps a lot!! Create some healthy coping habits before they leave

If your kids are small move to Arab countries or Asian country. Their is no concept of kids to move out . Try that it’s just a suggestion 😊