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I resisted thinking of what I went through as third degree but I think the combination of a neglectful immature and strict mother, a completely self absorbed father and a bullying older sister has produced the third degree effects. I’ve been making great progress in therapy and managed to move out of my parents place and into a new town and healthy work situation but this past month an abusive ex’s messages have triggered a complete breakdown of my eating system. I’m unable to eat a full meal without feeling nauseous and I’ve stopped cooking which used to regulate me and give me joy. I’m also in very limited to no contact with my parents right now. In therapy today memories of being forced by my mother to eat no matter whether I was hungry or liked the food came up. These things run deep. Thank you for being such a great interviewer ❤; I’m an committed fan of Kelly’s and you really get her book.

Wow, it looks like I’m going to have to get this book. I’m a textbook example of how these wounds can be damaging to your life. My mother’s severe mental illness and eventual abandonment (she refused to comply w court orders to maintain custody)lead me to have anxiety disorder and cptsd… that lead me to a decade of heroin addiction and homelessness. I’ve never really fully processed the things I experienced in childhood, and then the things I did to myself or happened to me due to my struggles with substance use. the second I think about my mom and the yearning for something that wasn’t possible the tears just flow. Becoming a mom myself really brought a lot of anger to the forefront, but I’ve really just compartmentalized to keep going. It’s my goal to really explore this topic in therapy. From one 3rd degree-er to another, I’m sending you love.

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Thanks Kelly and Shelby for talking about this heartbreaking topic in a kind way! You are making a difference.

23:39 let’s get everybody out of the box❤

14:23 rock and roll ❤

Wonderful discussion! Thanks for posting ❤️

Thank you for speaking on food as a coping mechanism. Your work combined with Winnicot and John Bowlby is revolutionary.

Thank you for the warmhearted discussion about such an impotant and basic topic. I think this book will help a lot of women to understand and have compassion for themselves.

I’m so tired of being pathologized by therapists, friends, family. I never feel accepted unless I behave a certain way. For the past year, I’ve been super fake with everyone around me. Pretending to be better than I feel. Because I’ve learned that being authentic makes people try to fix you (when authenticity falls outside of prescribed parameters). When they can’t fix you, they ostracize you. When I was diagnosed as depressed, I got tired of the shaming “treatment” that said my issues were entirely my fault, like no one ever hurt me. I don’t know. I don’t have any reasons to stay long term. I hope to delete myself soon.

Wonderful discussion about the miracle of TEB! Thanks Shelby and Stephen for the heartfelt discussion. I’m completing Module 3 in New York next week and I can’t wait! 🎉

This conversation is aligned for this time. Thank you for sharing 🙏🏾

I needed this today. Thank you so much for this beautiful practice <3 I love you and your work!

Yeees my animal body loves slowing down and connecting to nature🌳 to simply BE 💛 Thank you Shelby & Tamsin for sharing this talk about letting things land in our body.💝 p.s. I chuckled about the “wildly different stories when regulated and dysregulated”. So true! 😂🙏🏼

I love your presence and work! So nourishing! Thanks so much Shelby ❤️🌸🙏🏼

Thank you Shelby❤️❤️❤️

I love you and your presence and work! Thank you so much! <3

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Thank you Shelby💗💗

Thank you for this amazing practice Shelby😍

That was beautiful, thank you!

Thank you Shelby. I was feeling dysregulation after attending a celebration of life for a friend and this was very helpful. 🙏💖

Thank you Shelby🧡🧡

Absolutely beautiful experiences with you in these moments! Thank you, Shelby!🙏❤️🙏

Thank you🧡🧡

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Thank you for posting! 👊🏼

Love you Shelby! This is great and helpful content. Thank you for doing what you do. It seems like it is about giving empowered CHOICE (especially back to those whose choices were taken away at some point).

Can't wait!

Yesssss I can't wait!

This resonates a ton. Thank you, Shelby <3 Do you have any experience/tips for how to deal with this if the other person is not a safe person to be vulnerable with, but who you also can't cut out of your life completely?

The dilemma we have now is so many people offer themselves as 'therapists' or healers, the internet has opened many doors. In tantra for example, many people do a few courses and think they are now experienced in helping people heal. It's all about consciousness and awareness---and this takes years and years. And when people are vulnerable or in need, well, we can make unwise choices. Eyes reveal everything. And breathe.

This is so beautiful, Shelby! You are radiating!

You rock Shelby !

I love this Shelby. I am so grateful for your heart and interests.

Yes! Thank you, Shelby, for this.

Love YOU!

Thank you, Shelby - this was lovely and I loved hearing the birds singing.

I love this!