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Don’t get tangled in the shadow, which is what I often focus on in episodes. If you’ve done a lot of work, you won’t express this way. But it’s still in the enneagram dance. Thanks for commenting. (And feel free to express what it is like to live out your 4 from a higher expression!).

@mariamandarino-wisdom-teacher upon further consideration, I realize that some of this is contingent upon one's personality type, so we react accordingly. I am an infj, for whatever that's worth, and I refuse to sit and stew in a pity party, and I focus on others more than myself, but I will pull the plug if I am neglected. I also don't do drama. Although once I've had enough it may come across that way. I admit, I am the definition of a walking contradiction.

Glad you are using the flower essences! Thanks commenting. (Also, if you can’t make the webinar, if you register, you will get the recoding emailed to you to watch later).

Thanks for commenting. This is the essence of the enneagram to me… we are never just one expression; we hold all the reflections of our type. And when we are enneagram-aware we can better choose our expression (higher self over shadow self). Glad the information resonated!

It’s all a spectrum and of course context matters greatly. Appearing depressed doesn’t always equate clinical depression. For instance the fast changing emotions has validity and I agree with your assessment, but it also depends where on the 4 spectrum the 4 is and how much work they’ve done, not to mention wings, stress and security types and subtypes. One thing you’ll never get out of my work is solid absolutes. The enneagram is fluid. Thanks so much for commenting!

Thanks for the suggestion. It takes a lot to run the channel and my private practice without a staff, so at this point, it’s not likely I’ll add time stamps to episodes. Also, there is context in the material and I hope people will watch the full episode for this reason too. I do aim to keep episodes short enough and I list the types in order (unless otherwise noted), so it should be pretty easy to track anything you’re looking for. Thanks again for commenting.

I can see that being a real Type 4 experience. Thanks for sharing that insight!

You are very welcome! Glad you are enjoying the content!

Glad the episode got you thinking! If you lead with 4 you may have a 5 wing since you relate to some of the 5. And 4s can often seem like 9s. The key difference I’d say is 9s don’t care about being unique while 4s do. Thanks commenting!

You're welcome!

Glad you found the episode interesting and that you see the correlations between your enneagram and your rising sign. Interesting connections you've made too between your 8 and 4 lines and your spouses! Thanks for commenting!

Wonderful! Happy to hear you found the channel and are inspired to explore your enneagram. Thanks for commenting and for subscribing! 🙏🏼

Thanks so much for your observations and expanding the conversation! Taurus is an Earth sign, but ruled by Venus, and so the sign is deeply tied to beauty, nature, elegance, value. So that’s the thread I pulled there for the 4. But I agree with you about Leo, especially the hair! I wonder though about the Fire of Leo (maybe more 4w3? Yet the Leo pride can also speak to 4w2). Subtypes will count for a lot on this one. And I can see Aquarius as well… 4s are so innovative and have a unique vision for humanity. So yes! Some good observations! Thanks for commenting!

Since I focused on the types first, there were only 9 signs I covered. But I’d lean toward Type 9 for Pisces Rising… there’s the dissolving of boundaries and of course Type 9 wants to merge. So there is similarity. But remember this is not a one for one approach since we have 9 types and 12 signs. This isn’t an exact science, but an approach meant to make us stretch and find new ways to understand who we are. Hope that helps!

Glad you enjoyed it and it got you thinking. I would agree on the 9 and the Libra stellium. Thanks for commenting!

Glad you enjoyed the episode and glad it’s gotten you to make new associations! I agree about 4s also having Aquarian qualities! Yes! Thanks for commenting!

I can’t disagree, which is why much of your comment is beyond the capabilities of a basic RUclips episode. The inner work is what we do in private session. Thanks for commenting.

Much of what I talk about in the episodes has to do with the lower side of type. You are correct though, 5s don’t have easy access to the Heart Center (except through the harmony triad). So emotions are difficult, often overwhelming or even awkward, and require processing later. The level of emotionality also has to do with whether they are a 5w4 or 5w6, as well what their subtype is. Many factors come into play. The episodes can’t cover it all. That’s for deeper, personal, and more individualized work. I think it’s interesting you see 5s as mistyping themselves. My experience is most 5s land pretty solidly on their type and are pretty resolute about it. Thanks for commenting!

Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for commenting!

Thank you. Glad the questions resonated. Thanks for commenting!

Nothing actively planned right now, but always open to doing more interviews. Email me your basic enneagram info through the website and I’ll touch base.

@mariamandarino-wisdom-teacher Thank you, I will! Any need for 4 or 5?

@@annaanderson7919 Always open to interviews, so yes, just probably not immediately. Please email me through the website so I'll have your contact info on hand to reach out. Thanks!

Glad the episode spoke to you. The key to change is always within ourselves. Doesn’t mean we can’t help. It does mean we can only do our own work.

Aspen can be a great remedy for 6s! Depending on the nature of the fear, Mimulus can also be helpful. Glad you are using the remedies! Thanks for commenting!

@@mariamandarino-wisdom-teacher ... yes, have and use Mimulus, too... (and a bunch of others...lol)

I think you may mean narcotizing. It’s a real word… in this context basically means numbing out and falling asleep to yourself. Soulution is a fabulous word as an antidote. 😊

Which Mercurial sign? I’m guessing Gemini? (Virgo is also ruled by Mercury). Leo Sun conjoined Jupiter sure sounds very Type 7! Thanks for confirming my hunch!

Thanks! 🤗

Yep, I was going to say that sounds like 5w4.

That can happen too. It’s the difference between a healthy 4 and an unhealthy 4. Big drama in the unhealthy 4. You may want to look at my other episodes on Type 4. And if you want to see a really integrated Type 4, I recommend viewing my episode with Rodrigo Caldera. Thanks for commenting! 🙏🏼

You are welcome! Glad you enjoyed the episode!

Yes, subtypes and countertypes add filters of complexity to all the types. Here I pretty much stay with the basics (and not just enneagram basics for that matter). I get into deeper layers when I teach and work privately with people. But you are absolutely correct about the subtypes making a type look entirely different. The counterphobic piece also adds a fascinating nuance to the 6. That’s true of any countertype though. Thanks for commenting.

Glad the information was helpful. Hindsight is always 20/20, so be easy on yourself. Keep your eye on the path ahead and use what you know now. Thanks for commenting. 🙏🏼

@@mariamandarino-wisdom-teacher Thank you so much for reading and replying. Yes, I definitely know so much more. I will post the following in case you could direct me in the right direction for information about this. I wonder if my theory is correct: After learning a bit more, I actually think my ex partner is a type 3 rather than a 7. If being "impressive and attractive" was in the form of being "cool" and/or "in need of rescue/sympathy" (for attention) and "always ready to be included with anyone" rather than a stereotypical over-achiever in career, hobbies and materialistically. To "being impressive and attractive" I would also include "being impressed by and attracted to" as a key part of my ex. What if a 3 was a porn addict and sat at the bar silently, but made eyes at people until someone approached and wanted to hook up with them? That would be the essence of my ex. (My ex would never admit to being addicted to porn, but I always suspected something like that was going on). This person seemed to be a maladaptive daydreamer and seemed to pleasurably absorb people. It was so creepy and odd, and I have no proof of any of it.

@@coach_amy great question. The thing about the enneagram though is we don't type other people. And here's main reason why: we can never get into the person's psyche and know the motivations beneath their actions. The enneagram is an inside job, as Helen Palmer says -- our own personal inside job. It's not about theories or about being correct or figuring out what makes another person tick. The enneagram is a sacred method for exploring our individual personal growth. Hope that helps.

You’re welcome!

It definitely can be! Nines love to merge. And 4s love connection. The distinction is 9s do this with the goal of creating harmony (if they understand you, they can meet your needs and avoid conflict). Fours do it because they really love going deep… it helps them feel seen, as if they have a place with someone who gets their depth and unique way of looking at life. One of the considerations is are you seeking harmony (9) or are you seeking depth and connection (4)? Lots of other factors, but that’s a good place to start. You might check out my type 4 and type 9 episodes for added insights. Thanks for commenting!

I thought I was a nine too. Than misidentified as a two and only like two years ago found my place.

Thanks for commenting! Definitely sounds like 5w4!

Thanks for the feedback! Glad you liked the episode!

Well done. Type 5s will always keep the records!

@@mariamandarino-wisdom-teacher Yes. Once I got the vibe that this individual was not trustworthy, I kept everything. Every email I wrote was done with the intention that it might be seen by Human Resources. So, I would ask for confirmation of their understanding and their lack of response was duly noted. Ha ha. I wing to a 6 so I do find some humor in this too. Although it was stressful at times, I could also laugh about the ridiculousness of the situation.

Glad to hear the information has been helpful! Thanks for commenting!

Awesome. Please send an email through the website and if we have enough interest I’ll be sending out an announcement. www.mariamandarino.com

Glad you enjoyed it!

Thanks for commenting. Glad you found the episode informative!

Glad the information was helpful! Thanks for commenting.

I do agree that the fantasy world of the 4 can make for talented artists. I think the key is how wide the extremes are in the 4's behavior. If the 4 is spending most of their time in Shadow, that's not ideal. I would caution against using the enneagram to get others to understand you. Helen Palmer teaches that the enneagram is an "inside job." The enneagram is really for us, and for our own evolution, not to prove who we are to those around us. Those who don't "understand us" may have their own work to do (and none of us can make them do that).

As a 4(w5) myself, who's studied enneagram off and on for almost 20 years, you're falling into a dangerous type 4 trap. The enneagram shows that everyone has something special, not just type 4; we 4s just particularly like feeling special. Everyone has the ability to heal, everyone has the ability to create art. I wouldn't even say we 4s are more creative per se than other types, rather that we're unconventional and therefore our creativity is more easily noticed. Back in the days of chatboards (they're still around but not so much) you couldn't go to an enneagram board without some not so healthy 4s trying to out 4 the other 4s. You write "The world will be so much healthier and safer and more loving if everyone were more in touch with their intuition and emotions, in a healthy way, of course." I think this line inadvertantly shows what the enneagram needs that most ennenthusiasts are too scared to touch... intersentionality. Because being out of touch with intuition and emotion isn't a problem, it's a symptoom... of capitalism and colonialism. Think of the most common bullshit line used when the pigs gun down an innocent Black man or woman, "I feared for my life." It may be bullshit (always is bullshit) by the pig who uttered the line, but it is a rationale based on one's feeling state. Now there are indeed benefits to being self-aware, and I think to think I'm pretty good in that department, but such self-awareness has done a damn thing to stop the IDF from murdering Palestinian children. Hard to heal when you're dead.

@@mattdouglas1050 I think you’re misunderstanding what I’m saying. I agree that every type has something special about them, however, the reason that type four often do feel so misunderstood, is because we are the most in touch with our emotions and capacity for depth, and healing (since that is the root of it) more so than any other types. It could be different for you being that you have the 5 wing which makes you more logical. My friend is a 5 and she’s very aware of her emotions but struggles to actually express them and connect with others (another part of healing). Therefore, it can be hard for a lot of us 4s to connect deeply to others. Because others aren’t interested in that. Generally speaking. After studying psychology and therapy for the past six or seven years that I’ve been in it, being able to tap into that part of yourself is absolutely crucial. And obviously, yes, colonialism, and the fucked up world we are in has made that extremely difficult. For myself included, we’ve all been affected by colonialism. But I’ve been the first in my family, and out of most of my friends, who are all different types, to dive into that world within myself to work on healing, and now I am helping my family heal. that’s exactly what I’m saying. It’s harder for a lot of other people to do just because it’s based on their personality type- and emotional depth and expression is part of healing- confronting our traumas. I think that’s where the type four really can help heal people. We help people open up. Just naturally, not with any kind of degree or studying needed. Other types, and I know them all, that’s not necessarily their forte, although there’s other areas where they are better. But fours are most naturally acquainted with the human connection, which is where healing begins, and with our emotions and helping others tap in to those. so even people are going through trauma, whatever they are, and whatever that trauma is, having the ability to confront those emotions and self soothe and work through those is a gift honestly. Not every type has that natural ability, but obviously is capable of going to therapy and finding out how to do that for themselves. I just think for fours- as she said in the video- Are the most natural and intuitive when it comes to that and I believe that something that all types should try for because obviously, knowing yourself emotionally and being able to grow and heal in that way is vital to knowing ourselves and knowing other people. It’s actually a lot of what’s fucked up about the world. Lack of sensitivity, lack of emotional awareness, all of that. This is why the majority of actors and artists come from the type four category. Art really changes and heals the world. Artists aren’t afraid of their emotions and telling those stories.

@@mattdouglas1050 Also - I’m obviously not talking about Palestinian children who are being murdered right now, nothing will save them except for the bombing to stop. but I will say that a lot of people who go onto to help others and share their stories with the worlds are the ones that are most in touch with their emotions and not afraid of the healing process after trauma 😭 works that way too. Whether they’re Palestinian, black, or white.

@@mariamandarino-wisdom-teacher Yes that’s exactly it…the eeneagram is definitely helping me understand my family so much better. It’s been so enlightening for me. And it’s also helping me explain myself to my family and some of my bad habits like being in a fantasy world for 2 long, how that can affect my relationships and feelings of being misunderstood. I want my family to heal because it’s caused problems with our relationships….so Iven been sending them some videos about their type and I’m hoping that will help them heal a little so we can be closer as a family. I’m the only one in my family who has truly worked on my traumas and am able to confront them so it makes for an emotionless family connection ya know? I have also felt the extremes of the unhealthy 4 behaviors and they can be dark. It’s important for us to be connected to our craft and creativity but in balance like you said.

Awesome! Thanks! Can you send me an email through the website (www.mariamandarino.com and I’ll touch base probably next week to schedule a time for the interview? Also let me know what type you lead with (and wing and subtype if you know it). Will keep you posted about the group… it’s been a slow response, so that one may take a little time.

Disagree… In their healthy state, 4s are soulfully deep connectors and highly authentic people. They can sit with someone in their darkest hour. They are highly creative and imaginative. These can make for a wonderful parent! With the enneagram it’s about the inner work. Any type in shadow is going to struggle with parenting. This is why we are doing this series… to show the red flags that point to shadow behavior and help redirect people out of shadow and into their higher self. No one type has a special edge when it comes to parenting. It’s all about awareness, monitoring, and adjusting. 😊

Thank you for that, and I agree!

Thanks for commenting. There’s really not a “list,” but patterns and correlations. Flower essences and enneagram work is more individualized, which is what I do in private sessions with clients.

It’s not really an issue of having more or less ego. It’s more about the development of the ego. For type 4s, seeking equanimity is key to this.

Thanks so much for commenting and also opening your questions up to other 5s. I hope to see some answers come in on this. I think 5s are hard for a lot of people to understand, especially if they lead with one of the Heart or Body types. People seem to think 5s are complicated, and yet (I think) we are pretty simple. Don't invade us and respect intelligence and we'll get along fine (I'm joking there, but it's kind of accurate 😉). I agree that as a 5 I don't use my head engird to avoid my emotions. I dive into those, but prefer to do it either alone (so I can "hear myself think"), or with someone who really gets me. I don't know if that might resonate. I also get what you describe about feeling more than one emotion at once. For me that's something of a sorting process... I feel all the things, and my energy goes to sorting them out to perhaps label and definitely to understand them. This happens later though, not while I'm actively in the situation. The feelings need to go into their proper bins in my mind. There is also pattern differentiation: this emotion is like that experience. If I can figure out the patterns, I understand the feeling. I agree... that's not avoiding emotions. It's how we understand them. Because it's hard to feel alll of it in the moment. We need that distance to step back and assess it all. So, also, after writing that paragraph, I may be willing to concede that 5s are a little complicated. Because when I'm doing that it seems perfectly normal and simple. But re-reading that? Yeah, a little complicated maybe. LOL. As to the rich emotional core you mention, I'd be really curious to hear from the 5w4s on that because I'd bet they'd have some interesting words to share. But as a 5w6, I can still relate to all of what you said. So let's open it up to the 5s out there... what do you all have to say about how you feel your feelings as a Head type? How would you explain it to the other 8 types trying to understand the inner 5 world when it comes to emotions? Thanks again for your comment. And for the kind words. I'm glad that not only did this episode hold meaning for you, but that you were also able to land on your type!

I am a 5w4 with sexual subtype. I actually have quite deep emotions, but I am extremely reserved in sharing them (or the information in my head in general!) unless I can fully trust the other person. As of now, I truly crave that special someone in my life 😢. I reccomend watching this video on the subtypes : ruclips.net/video/-C61apTNHWk/видео.htmlsi=gJRYNzIudS4Xl1AJ

My description before knowing Enneahram is that I feel my emotions but I don't react to them. The common for is to react and express emotions, even if destructive but people allow, judge and forgive this approach. Non-reaction is seen as robotic. I have always struggled and assume a lack of imagination in other people. They can't imagine something is felt and not emoted. I always expect that everyone has emotions they just may or may not show them in a stereotypical way

That’s funny… in my clinic I occasionally I get patients who hammer me with questions about ailments they never included in their intake. And I’ll joke and say, “well, I love a challenge!” I never thought of that as being rooted in my 5, but probably is! Thanks for sharing!