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I’ve just come to realise withing the last couple of months that one of my biggest traumas and still ongoing issues is that almost nobody really understands and accepts me. Like, even those who accept me the way I am most often still don’t really understand me and because of this have sometimes issues to deal with me in the best way. And throughout my life I have mostly been blamed instead of heard and helped. I’ve been identified as intellectually gifted as a young child, but it took another almost 20 years until I’ve been diagnosed with ADHD, too, and I still don’t have a “real” autism diagnosis because the doctors found me to be “not conspicuous enough” despite showing some typical traits. My issue seems to be that I can stem a massive cognitive compensation effort plus masking for quite a while before I end up just totally burned out, and have been doing so my whole life. Even now that I know of all this and quite often even notice it in the moment, it still happens subconsciously and often, if I don’t feel really safe in a situation, even consciously. I’ve had to fight for several years before getting some really necessary help, but even now it’s often not enough, especially at times when I’m not doing so well. And people often have a hard time to accept that I need accommodations, or to see how much I struggle, because to the outside I most often seem ”just fine“. Even in therapy, my last two therapists were convinced I wouldn’t be autistic, so I couldn’t get any help dealing with my autistic issues. Unfortunately, I myself also often realise too late what happened and what I would have needed in a certain situation. I do actually notice quite a lot of “typical” autistic traits and behaviours on myself, now that I’m on ADHD medication, learned ways and strategies to deal with that, and kind of “sorted it out”. But they are most prominent in situations where I’m too exhausted to “hold myself together” and, as noted before, still then I only let them show in situations where I feel “safe“. Which is probably also the reason I haven’t been diagnosed with autism. That situation doesn’t feel „safe“ enough to let my guards down, if I would be exhausted enough to let it show anyway I would never be able to even make it there, and only now with some control over my ADHD, I would even maybe be able to explain it well enough to still get diagnosed. Every time I find someone with a similar experience who actually understands me, I notice how much of a burden this puts onto my everyday life. The burden of always giving my very best and still mostly being judged for all the things I couldn’t do. While almost nobody is there to give me a helping hand, or I’m too afraid to take it out of fear of being let down once again or just overwhelming and scaring people away once I open up. Thank you for making me feel heard once again.

Wow, bless you for being able to articulate this so clearly and with such authenticity. I only came across your channel today and I have never felt more seen and understood. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and knowledge so openly.

The whole masking thing was completely OK with me during all the COVID chaos. I suddenly pitched steeply down mentally wise while at work, years after COVID; after suddenly realizing that a physical mask is also like an emotional mask that covers parts of your face. I was in a really good mood the day when it happened, and I was stupid to take the physical mask off because they were renovating the building, I don't believe that it was asbestos, but it was fiberglass none the less. Was also essentially in Satan's behind at the time temperature wise, while being in a building that temperature wise feels like hell itself. Know that working in the trades is not meant for everyone, and if you do, do not let it drive you insane!

I like your video idea but only problem I have with this, is that there's no need to change definitions to accept reality. I'm more than willing to say that I have a mental disability and I need to deal with it. I'm not normal and I'll deal with as best to keep up. There's no compassion in lying to oneself and forcing the world to go along with it. Don't slow down on my account, if I can't keep up, I'll step to the side.

I’ve suspected I’m autistic for a while now, but I kept trying to deny it because people in my life wouldn’t support me if they knew I suspected it I related to 19/21 of these signs Soooooo I guess I’m done denying it

Explained very well

I have heard other people talk about june bugging, but then it always sounded like something that wouldn't help at all. And NOW the WAY you explained it, I finally get why it could work for me (having ADHD) thank you for explaining things so well!!❤

Girl please : People with autism no cruel , shy and Asocial. psychopath people cruel, antisocial, and charming.

I’m 28 years old, my whole life I have struggled to be normal like my family and friends. I never knew what was wrong with me, I just watched this video and I got 20/21 signs. Most of what you said hit so close to home it feels like you’re the first person in my life to understand what the fuck is going on.

Ooft... 19/21 No diagnosis but I'm starting to think I should speak with my doctor 😅

I’m with you sister! ADHD and Autistic!

Thank you for this, you've summarised a lot of my feelings and thoughts in a way that feels very validating and have given me resources to help me explain myself to my loved ones <3

Changed here too during the spiral 👋 Thank you for sharing your journey and insights that help so many. Like me. Like us.

But.... biopsychosocial model neglects the natural signaling effectors that functionalize psychiatric or cognitive mode. It's neither one. Or the other. The mind is a social organ. But it also an organ and chemical in nature. And serotonin meds aren't effective for 100% of the population, nor the subset of the population that has rationale for those meds.... It's actually a small percentage but I get the hyperbole. They absolutely *do* posit the disease-model of the brain in psychiatric conditions in the DSM. It's.. actually the prevailing model! The new "think pieces" suggesting the biopsychosocial model doesn't negate the dual nature of the "pathologies" if we can even call it that, like you said earlier. Good content, chat?

The hamster on the wheel is dead.

Oh i'm definitely broken.. Since i'm also the broken branch of the family tree .. i'm probably defective too.

Well this is a fun roller coaster isn't it?

I tried to watch a video similar to this but right from the beginning.They had to insult me and call me an american.

I got 14 of these I didn't really understand most of this and i was dozing off so yeah

Have you heard of the hypothesis that Borderline is just autism plus trauma?

Wow, I definitely have ADD. But this is a huge eye opener for me. The meltdown makes a lot of sense to me. Then, 10 minutes later, Im good. I was told I get frustrated fast but bounce back quickly.

Thank you for this ❤️

5/30/2024 We are scared to get diagnosed and we don't have support or money, It's not easy dealing with life on our own and since everyone abandoned me I had to find ways to deal with it myself... I already tried 3 suicidal attempts but unfortunately I'm still here❤️‍🩹😭😭😭 Houston Texas

I'm not autistic, but I am an introvert. I've noticed that there is a lot of overlap between these 2 things. I don't go to parties. Period. They are way too stressful, exhausting and I really don't enjoy them. Because I'm pretty far over on the introvert-extrovert scale. So please just be aware that there is a lot of overlap. If you find parties stressful and exhausting, this might be a sign of autism. Or it might be a sign of introversion. Or social anxiety--which is different from introversion. A single experience, such as how are you at parties, cannot be taken as an indication of any specific condition.

Didn’t know you existed until today. Sucks for me. But glad those creators did a thing. Not getting paid is a big deal, so I hope it helps. And thanks for letting your peeps know, too.

I am from India, and I am 40; after just losing my biggest projects (in a series of so many), I finally decided to get a diagnosis. So before I went to the doctor, I did online research and took a bunch of tests, RAADS, Cat-Q, Aspie, ASRS-5, etc., and found out that I have a 91% probability of being atypical autism, which was at the clinical level and was camouflaged. But doctors here completely dismissed my autism and only diagnosed me with ADHD, Dyslexia, and Social Phobia ( i am not phobic per se, i am just "avoidant", and I know for a fact that clinically speaking, there is a difference b/w these two) I am a pharmacist so i can pretty read the medical literature and interpret it. So why have I waited this long to get diagnosed... because dude, time blindness, and at that, I feared that what if I was actually neurodivergent? that made me scared... i am on meds but my time-wasting habits & addictions are deeply set in so I still couldn't do it

I watched this video because my partner says that she struggles with executive dysfunction . I have the hyperactive type of ADHD where I can’t bear to not be doing something so I was curious to find out what the other end of the spectrum is like. I’m really glad I watched this and it was super helpful.

I have that shirt!

Wowzie this was really enlightening which was nice but a lot of this resignated with me! My friends always get tired of my bizzare interests and don't care for my info dumps or constant sending of Instagram reels related to them, they get tired of it and tell me I have addictions to certain topics. Overall this video was really interesting and I'm now intrigued to learn more about the neurodivergent community! Thanks :)

There are all sorts of bad reasons to fake claim. Ex. Imagine an adult with ASD who finds his biological family, and is rejected because of his low income & diagnosis, including an aunt who is a psychiatrist who denies the existence of ASD because 1) she was told by an ASD specialist colleague that she has it and it made her angry (emotions affecting scientific objectivity?), 2) she feels that the only real mental illnesses are those where one is institutionalized and drooling and screaming all day long (which is like an ophtalmologist who thinks the only real eye problem is total blindness).

One of my autistic phobias is those high diving boards that used to be considered a normal and necessary part of swim classes for kids. The fact is that those have led to many ER visits. I’m so glad that most public pools no longer have those!

Don't know whether this applies to neurodivergence, but when I'm making eye contact I tend to get really fascinated by the eyes themselves - color, pattern, flecks, etc. - and I realize I've been staring.

I am bipolar 1, autistic, ADHD,

I'm a diagnosed audhder and this is kinda true especially with the autistic meltdown part

Thank you for explaing polyvagal theory through the neurodivergent lens! Its super needed! ❤

omg i needed this rn im so under with procrastinated works 😂

I have all of these except eye contact. I have adhd and autism

i cannot even focus on this video, so i should be typing and scrolling while watching 😂 yes i miss the obvious thing to everyone else and social interaction, even a conversation is difficult, i guess i'll need some professional help, thx ;)

where were you from last 3 years when i was looking for the realistic content like yours !

I don’t like red sauce either, unless it’s on pizza or the really good Italian or local kind. I’m autistic too!

I usually say "undiagnosed neurodivergent", but truthfully this is the thing that I believe describes me the best.

The SSRI that I take first decreased anxiety immediately. It took a few weeks more for depression to lift and reduce. When I have messed up and don't get the meds on time, the anxiety immediately comes back. Yes, it might be psychological, but in the meantime, my body is having a power level anxiety meltdown. The SSRI I use has made a difference in my life. I occasionally try decreasing the dose, but I haven't successfully been able to do so. My theory includes the amount of time a person has struggled with anxiety and / or depression. I started experiencing anxiety at about 18 months old or 2. By 12, I was struggling with depression as well. I was 35 or so before I sought help for these problems. I just couldn't cope any longer. I was crying at card tricks. (Just meaning I was crying over everything, not just because I felt sad). How I cope with the use of the SSRI makes all the difference in the world to me. I continue to struggle, but I'm so much better and can handle life when I am treated compared to when I wasn't. BTW, I am a late diagnosised autistic with ADHD. Life just keeps on giving me new things to understand and deal with, but life is so good.

The way percentile works is that 50ĝ is average, representing most of the population. If you score in the 90s that means you're much higher than most people. For example, when my kids were babies, I breastfed and overfed my first-born until I learned to interpret her cues better, so she was in the 95th percentile for weight. Then with my son I was more experienced so he was always 50th percentile for weight. So you have an above-average ability to stay organized and on-task compared to most of the test-takers, which makes sense for having autism with no ADHD.

There has to be a way to differentiate autistic people who literally cannot function in society from autistic people who can. There is a massive difference that really matters to the people who cannot function in society.

I got diagnosed as Audhd a month ago at my 28y is commom to find videos about what is or how to identify but really hard to find the videos that helps with the traits of both together.

Interesting. Over an year ago I watched this video I concluded I wasn't neurodivergent. Now, after a little journey of discovering what these traits really mean, I can identify with pretty much everything

In this world and in our lives. Problems come with no surprise. A good defense when problems come to Port. Are the friends that give us their love and support.

'monotropism' is a cool term but I just call it 'tunnel vision'

I assumed it was impossible for me to be autistic. I was super observant of people growing up and would watch their behaviour for patterns, i also read a lot so i developed decent Theory of Mind, i teach and my strength is being able to follow my student's train of thought and make suggestions/adjustments based on their individual needs.... And i am highly empathic, i pick up ppl's emotions without trying etc. And my psych was just like... human learning is your special interest and you are looking for patterns. And autistic girls and can still be highly empathic and pick up emotions that aren't theirs. Oh. I went to her due to suspicions about ADHD. even told her no way i was autistic. She looked over everything and i ... didn't realize she was casually suggesting a mild curio... no no she meant i am definitely autistic. 😶 i didn't notice. The stereotypes do get in the way. I can follow someone's thoughts, but if the cashier changes their greeting from "hi how are you" to ANYTHING ELSE my brain fails and i cannot speak. At all... Suddenly the stereotype is not that far off... I just have systems for everything else... Parties are impossible, i get such bad sensory overwhelm. I also suck up emotions that aren't mine and it's horrible.

i have 2 moles on my neck that are in the exact same place as yours.... vampire bite buddies