- Видео 1
- Просмотров 47 767
Bethany Elizabeth
Добавлен 18 авг 2006
Coming Out - The Gay Son of a Southern Baptist Preacher
The story of my former best friend and how his life changed once he told his family he is gay.
UPDATE: Jake has had ups and downs with his dad, still to this day. His grandparents are accepting, but his dad was still pushing conversion therapy as recently as 2016. That being said..I'm not sure that claim is even true. That's just what Jake told me.
Jake's trauma has manifested in awful ways. For one, he has become a habitual liar, but that's not the awful part. He steals from his friends (and was caught on camera more than once). We've tried to support him and aid in him getting help, but he just ghosts us if we don't ignore the issue. He has admitted to stealing at least a couple thousand...
UPDATE: Jake has had ups and downs with his dad, still to this day. His grandparents are accepting, but his dad was still pushing conversion therapy as recently as 2016. That being said..I'm not sure that claim is even true. That's just what Jake told me.
Jake's trauma has manifested in awful ways. For one, he has become a habitual liar, but that's not the awful part. He steals from his friends (and was caught on camera more than once). We've tried to support him and aid in him getting help, but he just ghosts us if we don't ignore the issue. He has admitted to stealing at least a couple thousand...
Просмотров: 47 767
To Jake's parents: God created Jake. God created EVERYTHING about Jake. God gave Jake to you and your job was to PROTECT Jake from everything that might hurt him to the point of throwing yourself in front of a bullet for him. I say this as a parent. I would give my life for my child at any point of our lives. I was entrusted by God to protect the gift of a child with every might of my being. You have spit on the gift God gave you and God will talk to you about your rejection of His gift to you when you get to the Pearly Gates. God has BIGGER things to worry about than to worry about who gets naked with who. The aversion to Gayness is manmade. Gayness is NOT in God's Ten Commandments - have you ever asked yourself why? But Adultery IS in God's Ten Commandments. Why don't you start working on throwing all the adulterers out of your church and after you finish that, then you can work on Gayness if you still wish. Otherwise, you come off as a huge hypocrite.
People like his father annoy the crap out of me, because they say that they are "good Christians" but then decided's it's okay to disowned there son for being who he really is and happy,
Bless You, Jake. I Can't Even Imagine The Torment And Hardship You've Had To Endure All These Years. I know Coming Out To Your Family Wasn't Easy. But Your A Brave Soul For Doing So. In Regards To Your Father. Give It Some Time. You Never Know What May Happen In The Future. All You Can Do Is Try And Love Him As Best You Can. And Hope For The Best In Return.
Your father lives in his own righteousness based what he has ascertained from his reading of Holy Scripture. He, based on his self-righteousness, has played God with you and violated Jesus’ word in Matthew 7:1. Your father is NOT your true judge. Christ is if you believe in Him which I’m sure you must having grown up in the Baptist religion.
Life has to be lived, it won't always be with the blessings of those we think love us. True love is unconditional, and it does not penalize those who feel or think differently
Very courageous, articulate, you kept your story moving. You and your story is something I am going through. Sometimes I have thought of ending it all but I know its the wrong thing to do. Thanks for laying the truth out there and I hope things are better. Much love and the best of wishes.
There's an update of sorts in the description box and it doesn't look like things are going great
I'm so Sorry, YOU are Perfect Just the WAY YOU ARE. It took me until I was 30 to COME OUT. YOU are a Brave and Wonderful Man. Mark R. Urick
Don't ever wait for the day for your father to come around. Emancipate yourself from him for good. Create your own environment. Be a leader and example for others to follow. The best thing that can happen is for the world to see how much more successful you can be than your bigoted dad.
Wow. Hopefully one day your dad will be truly Born Again and become a real Christian and not just a religious bigot. His heart has not truly been changed. For any dad to disown his son is horrible. He is not Christlike at all. Pray for him and don't let up.
Peace be upon you, as a normal person who has no prejudices, you necessarily to listen to me, I just want to say that:- If you got anybody in your life that ever speak to you ''how did it come to this'' in the wrong ways, you know what I mean. This is what you tell them, you just look at straight into their eyes and you says: 1. Either we're good person or we're the type of a person who put a barriers, why should there need to be a barriers to loves between one another. 2. Nobody should ever feel belittled for whoever they love. 3. I believe that God will please, and embraces with ours' kind and loving spirits. 4. Whenever you come close to God, He will never judge you based on your sexual orientation, He will judges and look at you, by what kind of a person you are. 5. And in God's eyes kindness and love are what it’s all about.
My brother is a (now retired) Baptist minister. The Baptists have really changed their theological perspective dramatically. Before 1980, Baptists believed in the priesthood of all believers, and that each individual was empowered to go to scripture and interpret it for themselves. Then came the conservative purge of Baptist seminaries and any non-conservative theologians, and the imposition of Baptist approved theology. Now Baptists largely believe they correctly interpret scripture and correctly understand the nature and desires of God to the exclusion of all others. I'm sad to say that either your dad will need to abandon this theology or he will always consider you outside the will of God. As we look at the history of religious people, we can see that they have never understood God or God's perfect will, and I think it's sad to see yet another religious community claim high ground and absolute truth. Jesus chose to forgive and free the adulterous woman; the Pharisees chose to stone her and test Jesus. Jesus chose to dialogue with the Samaritan (hated by Jews) woman at the well (and she became a great evangelist); the Pharisees would never even have spoken to her. Jesus laid hands on leapers and healed them; the Pharisees would walk on the other side of the street. Please don't give up on Jesus; just give up on your dad accepting you as a gay man. Interesting though - Jesus did speak against divorce, so perhaps your father has some soul searching to do.
YOU ARE LOVED STAY POSITIVE IT WILL GET BETTER BE & STAY HAPPY
Awesome!
You didn't let your dad down, he let you down - such is the propaganda we face. Be strong and never doubt yourself. Only you can lead your life, no one can lead it for you. I'm a father and grandfather and guess what? I'm gay so life goes on and if people want to devote themselves to some fictitious deity, some man in the sky at the expense of their flesh-and-blood, that is their loss. My kids, my family and my friends all accepted me as the person as have always been. So what, my grandkids have a gay grandpa? Love is love, is the best message I can offer and you, young man, will find the love you deserve and shame on your dad for turning his back on you.
Thanks for sharing, Bethany. It's been 8 years. How is your friend doing now?
As so many have said on here, you are not the disappointment, your father and his side of the family are the greater disappointment! Hope things are good for you x
being born gay is the same as being born left handed. religion is the great evil on earth. The fact that they could treat you this way shows how valueless his brand of religion really is. No religion is the true religion. My religion is kindness - the concept seems to have escaped modern churches who spew all hate and vitriol these days usually for cash. Be proud of yourself and the courage it took to take the first step. There's nothing wrong with you. For the religious though - there's a lot wrong - just where to start. Stand proud and be proud.
How did they take away your money etc ? If they don't want you the to hell with them
Give us an update please!
Bethany -- I'll trust that in past 8 years you've found positive resolutions to the troubles. I'm sure you learned that the argument of "being happy" will never convince the fundamentalist argument, and I hope you've learned that we no longer use the word "admit" (as if being gay is a crime), and replace it with "assert". And most fervently, I hope sticking to the truth of yourself has been richly rewarded.
This story is painful for me to see and hear, I went through pretty much the same kind of things though, it was my Mother who was the Bigot. I have been Catholic all of my 71 years and my faith has, at times kept me alive. Religion and Faith do not condem you and, God does not make mistakes, the fear, the abuse, the bullying and all the other bad stuff comes from people who like to think they are holy. They are not! They are nothing more than Evil Bigots who have worked themselves on to a platform of influence. I have been happy following my faith and I can say I've never had any negative stuff from any of the dozens of priests I have met during my lifetime. Though two years ago a married couple who were attending the same Church that I loved, they started up with the Hate Crap. I'm just waiting my time to get something solid on one of them so I can take it to the Police. However my Mother did many hatefull and wrong things to me and against me, some things even illegal but, how do you send your Mother to Jail? I couldn't. OK my loss. One thing she did and I never suspected it until I was ready to buy my own house. After telling my parents I'm homosexual there was no screaming or shouting but, Dad was just disappointed, Mother... I will never forget or forgive the things she did behind my back. I had a bank account since I was a baby and my Mother was a signatory on the account, as I grew up I never thought about it and she would regularly take money in to the bank for me, to add to my savings. You trust your Mother with your Life don't you. After I came out to them and, a short while later when I was ready to buy my own house, I went to the bank to arrange a mortgage and to pay the deposit for my house. My bank account had less than $2 in it, (£1.00 in the UK). She had cleaned out the account the day after I came out to her. That was almost 50 years ago and the sum was over £3,000 UK. At the time it was a massive sum of money, it was enough to pay a good deposit and enough to still do all the repairs and re-modelling I wanted to do. I HAD NOTHING. That was the day I left my home, the place I had grown up since I was born. Over the years many people have said to me "Don't let the bitterness get to you" Sadly the people who say such things have rarely experienced the kind of things thrown at me. In 1970 in the UK, £3000. was enough to get you started with the house of your dreams. If I had my time over again, I would have done my best to get her jailed. So my advice to you would be... Don't take crap from anyone, least of all your Father.
You did not disappoint you dad. Whatever issues he has are his issues and not your. Be the best you, you can be. Jesus tell us there are two things we are to do. Love God and treat your neighbors how you want to be treated. God made you and he doesn't make mistakes.
The Episcopal Church supports and loves you As does God, God doesn't make mistakes I dearly hope you father sees the opportunity to break free of the sickness of NOT being like Christ. With best wishes, David +
Yes you are correct, God loves him as well as all mankind, but He hates sin. God calls us to leave the carnal nature of sin and seek holiness. Homosexuality is no different a sin than being born with a temper, for example, what ever sins we have, we must deal with it through the grace of God. The bible is clear on all sin, eternal punishment to all who do not repent and turn from their wickedness. We have no right to tell God what sin is not.
@@martythornton604 screw off. God also says to leave the judging part to HIM. And no, the bible is not clear about a lot of things really. The bible even talks about putting a wife through an abortion if she's suspected to have cheated. So how about you concern yourself with the "love thy neighbor" part that we all know is supposed to be at the top of Christian's priority list and leave the rest to the big guy. Thanks.
"Be who you are, do what you feel. Those who matter won't care, those who care don't matter."---Dr. Seuss
My father is also a Baptist Preacher and I am also gay so I feel for you.
As Mama RuPaul once said, sometimes as gay people we to choose our families!
Your father is an ungrateful closed minded bigot. Your father did it to himself.
You did not fail your father, he failed you in every important way. Learn from his failure and treat your children with respect and love.
when your dad stands in front of his maker he will answer for the way he treated you
No he won't because His dad stood on his markers word
Brother Dave the one sentence written in a 2000 year old book that’s been translated throughout hundreds of languages and changed numerous times? The book that says love your neighbor? The one that says even Jesus washed the feet of sinners? Is being something that god made him a sin? It seems god set him up for failure then. A loving god would create someone gay just to hat him for it. That’s gods word?
Five years since this video was uploaded. I am sorry for how your family treated you. You did NOT fail them; they failed you. I am gay and a grandfather of three. I would NEVER reject one of my grandchildren or treat them the way you were treated. There is a world of people out there who will love and support you and I hope you have found them.
Heartbreaking to hear you say; " my father is a Baptist preacher and that's why it is so difficult... I really think because of youre upbringing and he being a preacher you both forget something very important.... His first reponsibility is BEING A FATHER... No matter what ... It is not you who let him and the family down !!! It is him, youre father and his family who let YOU down... I hope that it is going better with you because youre voice was So sad. You just could hear the pain.....
You didn't let anyone down. You lifted yourself up. God bless you.
A father who needs to get a clue and read and believe the word of God. This father is missing his calling in life to be the father to this young man. Malachi 4:6 tells the exact thing God wants to see happen. I feel for this young man.
You are mistaken. You did not disappoint your father.... your father was the disappointment. You are in the right, he is not.
Let your friend know.... He IS NOT a Disappointment! His father and fathers family should be a shamed of letting him feel like that.
It's just heartbreaking to hear that you believe that because youre gay you disappoint you're family .....It's not a choice of being gay. The same as being straight. I didn't choose to be straight ...I am. I hope that you're life is now better and that you know now that being gay is no disappointment. Its just who you are...
WHY IS IT THAT GAY PEOPLE ARE ON THE RADAR , WHEN SOME OF THE PEOPLE PREACHING NON GAY NO GAYS IN CHURCH ARE THE ONE DOWN LOWING MORE THEN ANY GAY PERSON IN CHURCH! WITHOUT REMINDEING THE CHURCH THAT ANY SEX SIN OUTSIDE OF MARRIAGE IS SIN! BUT GOD SAID IF YOU BELIEVE ,TURN , REPENT, CONFESION, STOP SINNING WITH THE HELP OF THE HOLY ONE AND HOLY SPRIT, BUT PLEASE DONT FORGET TO REMIND THEM GOD DONT LIKE SIN! BUT HE LIVES SINNERS AND MARRIED TO THE BACKSLIDER! JUST STOP BREAKING DOWN PEOPLE THAT ARE ALREADY DAMAGED GOODS! THAT BELONG TO GOD! STOP! LOVE THEM WNOEVER THEY ARE BACK TO LOVE WHO IS GOD! AGAPE
This video does show that it may be a good idea for some people to wait until they are financially secure and out on their own totally before coming out as gay. It is important to be safe. It is good that his has worked out pretty well at the end, but for some, this could have been disaster. They might not have been able to ever finish college. I am placing this on on my "Coming Out As Gay" RUclips Playlist to give those in a similar situation some things on which to think.
All gay Christians should be aware that there are religious groups out there that support gay rights: The Unitarian Universalist Church The Metropolitan Community Church The Episcopal Church The Evangelical Lutheran Church in America The United Church of Christ and The United Church of Canada
Many Methodist and Presbyterian churches too.
+ Patrick MC Yes, you are right. The Presbyterian Church (USA) voted back in 2015 to allow its pastors to officiate over church weddings for gay couples. It, also, has gay clergy. No Methodist church has voted to support gay marriages at a central level yet, but there are individual congregations that are very accepting of gays as congregants.
The Christian Church-Disciples of Christ are also known to be LGBTQ-friendly, especially so the Mission Gathering congregations, of which there are now 5.
"Christian" and "Gay" is incompatible
this is a perfect example of another reason why i loathe all organized religion. dude, u deserve better than that. we all do.
Not all organized religions (denominations) are condemning. Some are VERY welcoming. Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, the Presbyterian Church (USA), the United Church of Christ, the Episcopal Church, just to name a few.
A terrible father
good father!
From the sound and tone of your voice, I am highly inclined to label you a most kind, gentle, and noble soul. Best of luck, and God speed. Jesus loves you - I truly believe that.
I'm sorry his family disowned him. I hope they come around someday.
I have four daughters and every one of them has come out to me as straight. So what? Love your kids for who they are. Otherwise you're not much of a parent. Not that this is the ministers fault, he is as much a victim of his indoctrination!
Oh Charles, as a gay dad I understand your trauma. My kids came out as straight and I'm afraid that I'll face the same stigma with my grandkids but what can I say but be brave and accept them for who they are.
i hope that one day your dad will realize his wrong.
big online hug to you your brother sounds like a great guy .
You didn't let ANYONE down. Your family's closed minds let them down. After all, if they were true Christians they would remember that forgiveness is supposed to be a big part of their religion. What a bunch of hypocrites!
How does he disown you?! And take away your money and stuff!! That is the polar opposite of what Jesus preached.
So is he okay now? I am not out yet, and that what I am afraid of when I tell my parents. I afraid that they will stop loving me.
Tola Khin, I hope you're doing okay. I'm sorry I didn't see this comment years ago when it was left, but Jake is doing better now. He and his dad are constantly trying to heal, but then hurtful things are said again, then they try to heal and move forward again, so on and so forth. Jake does not need his father to be happy, though. He is now dating a wonderful man that makes him very happy! He has friends and family who love him and are genuinely happy for him at every turn of life. How has your life been since leaving this comment 5 years ago? How did things go with your parents and coming out?
Typical Baptists. I'm not surprised.