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I’ve lost everything to being so damn kind.. I thought people wouldn’t do this to me. I help them and am there for them but they are never there for me. And when I try to express that they get offended. But I’ve lost every friend I had now. My trust is shattered because of them. They move on easily and happily while I suffer. I let people in because I hate seeing them suffer like me. But nobody realizes what I do for people is because I want someone to do that for me. But it’s hopeless. I’ll never be important to anyone. I’m nothing but a toy that people can use up however they like. Because that’s all in good for. I don’t know why I live. I keep hoping that I’ll find someone who’ll care. But I’m starting to understand it’s over for me once my dad dies. When he’s gone I’m ending it. And nobody will be able to save me because nobody ever tried to even just care about me just a little bit. They never proved they wouldn’t just leave me at my worst. But that’s life. At least I can die knowing I saved everyone but myself. <3

To the stranger who finds themselves reading this, I want you to be aware that it will get better this is an incredibly difficult time for you believe me I know a thing or two about tough things and I just want you to know that I love you and I mean it. I hope that you may truly find happiness and comfort in your life someday because I love you and I’ll say it again and again over and over because I mean it I love you. So please, wipe those tears away and let me shower you with kind words and love. From one fragile soul to another I love you so very much and I wish that reading this message has brought you even an ounce of comfort. So go and sip some water, it’s okay if you can’t finish the whole bottle or if you can’t sleep, take your time, there’s no rush just remember to take care of yourself and to simply relax if possible. Go talk to a friend or someone who fills your heart with joy and cares about you because trust me those people will get you through so many things. Although I am a mere stranger online I wish to comfort those in need because I know how it feels, I know how much it hurts and how lonely it can be how painful it is but please bear with me and continue living no matter how difficult it is. (You can vent in the replies if you'd like I love to try to comfort ppl who go through these type of things)

I'm not happy... I'm not ok... I just learned to pretend that everything is fine

5 years, for this point i didnt even have to be alive, tbh this is pointless, i just see the pistol in the same way to finish all

“Animal.” thats when it all started. i just wanted to do quadrobics and wear gear at school…

Aw the first song of a woman singing the song instead of a man is so touching to me lol

I wish I had a better friend.

Vent! Tbh, I tend to be happy around everyone in my opinion. But I feel like that's all I am really, just the comic relief. Some of my friends call me a "meme", which is somewhat a compliment because they think I'm funny, but then they say that they cant see me doing like actual serious things, like maybe dating or stuff. And its like "is that all I really am?". I feel like I'm constantly putting on a smile and laughing with people, its gotten to the point that I sometimes do it when im alone, but then I realize that I don't need to and I go back to being straight-faced. I feel like people just don't take me seriously, like I'm just a kid to them because I'm funny. No one texts me first either, it's always me, I always text first, so tbh I'm not even really friends with a lot of people anymore because I got tired of texting first. Does anyone really care about me? I mean, I know they do, I have friends and family who love me, I just don't think they love me for who I really am. Which is partly my fault as I don't vent that much, in like 3 years, I've only vented twice, and it wasn't even big. Half of the time I find myself smiling, and then I realizing I'm not really that happy enough to smile. I feel like I'm always happy all the time, so whenever I lay my head down or don't talk as much one of my friends always asks "if I'm ok?" or "what's wrong?"(Props to her, I fucking love her) I just want to sleep, I'm always tired, I don't want to sleep forever, I just actually want to feel well rested. My grades are slipping, my only social life is school, I can't text my friends, I cant talk to anybody, but at the same time, I don't want to vent to anyone. Hell, tbh, I don't even know why Im doing this now, this is really dramatic and unnecessary, but I am. I'm just tired. I'm just the funny friend, I wish someone would just text me and ask how I am, just talk to me. Instead I'm stuck inside, doing the same thing everyday, wake up, school, homework, chores, sleep, sure there might be little happy sections in-between, but nothing that changes anything. I don't know anymore. :/

Me just looking up: "pretending to be a cat playlist" and finding this 😭 very yummy playlist tho.

i’ve been like this all my life

me knowing that my friend group hates me and i know that bc they leave me out if there’s a group i would be the first option if there’s more than the people in the group for PE, and i try talking but i get spoken over and ignored i hate it so much and i feel useless because no one cares about me and i realise how stupid i am for believing some one actaully cares, by the time you see this i’ll probably be gone.

For everyone here, I know you're tired of all this, but... in the end... do you remember when you smiled naturally? When you took care of yourself, when you had hope, you thought it was necessary to be patient for good happened. ? Well, I think you might have it again, only the difference is this time you have more scars, and they made you grow, okay? (Hope one day you can feel you live this life,i care of you)

Small tw? (Mini vent)❤ I have days missing from my memory from trauma I have n ED I’m derealised constantly my own therapist refused to help me I have Panic attack’s daily n autism burnout if you are reading I hope life gets better for u ❤ (reply to this with ur stories if u want comfort 🔐🌧💗

I woke up..... But im just existing...tell me the point

I fake smile so much that at this point it always looks like I'm smiling its not even real even when I'm crying it looks like I'm smiling I can't do it anymore I want to get rid of it

We gotta respect our pillows, For catching our tears Being there to catch them when nobody would.

I relapsed

this looks way too much like sunny from omori…

I'm not sad, just using this to get in the mood of what I'm writing. Just a reminder to all those in the comments (since y'all are going through it), there's always something good about life. It could be the weather, it could be your soft clothes, hell it could be purely that you're still alive. Don't throw away your life because of this. It hurts, trust me I know, but it's not going to suck forever. It may suck for a while, I'm not going to tell you that it won't, but it isn't worth it. You got this! I believe in you. Your family/friends will be happy to see you tomorrow. If you don't have those, then hit me up damn it. I'll be your friend. I'll be glad to see you tomorrow.

Life has put me through the worst recently, yet all I can do around others is act like it’s okay, because if I break my act and ask for help or get emotional I’m asking for too much and a “over dramatic attention seeker” it’s exhausting and I’m slowly losing all of myself and I don’t know what to do anymore, I just want someone to allow me to stop acting even for a few short minutes

i jst wanna confess my feelings through this. Its pretty hard for me being the oldest, because like everytime chores, school, no time for friends, I have strict parents they never let me speak when im tryying to tell them the truth espically my dad. I just wonder why ppl see me happy all times even though im just pretending to be happy im dying inside my heart is like collapsing, i just hate that some people make fun of me how i eat, how i walk, how i play, how i act, how i do stuff, like im just being my self i just wanna be perfect, i wanna be good for them, i wanna be smart, i wanna be great for them, i just want to see them how i feel why can't they just be like other's happy, not strict, will comfort you, I cannot handle this anymore. Im just the fatty waste that they toss to the dogs can't believe it i was being used by other ppl they always take my money, when I dont give them money they will take it out from my pocket and run even though i said no, im trying to save my money but everyone keeps asking for money just because i gived them money they will think that im rich so it continues keep asking money like "hey give me 50" i just wanan end my life, life is so tiring i just wish i have the courage to kill myself when im old..

being put on the internet at 6 years old because your brother wanted to play an innocent game with you but he unlocked you chat and that was the start of your life going down and you thought that he wouldnt do something to you because it was just your online friends cousin but he really was just there because he wasnt a normal person and he was actually 18 but you cant get off the internet and you couldnt for years and you were just a 6 year old with insecurites about being fat watching every other kid your age being stupid and a kid but you never got to experience that and you had deppression and still do and you never got/get help because nobody knows because you know what would happen if you told anyone how you feel because you'd just get unvalidated and told "You need to get off the internet" because your dad was never really in your life and he put you on the internet so he wouldnt have to pay attention to you and you have a identity crisis before you even hit double digits and you cant go a day without a mental breakdown cause you know if anyone was told this they'd just tell you "get off the internet your to young" and nobody would understand because it doesnt happen to anyone else you know and watching other kids your age being stupid and unknowledgable and just caring about they're dolls but you threw away your dollhouse at 8 to have a "pretty" room but seeing every other kids room filled with messy toys makes you almost breakdown cause you never got to have that and you'll never get that back now and you wanted it to just stop at 7-8 because now you cant just sit down normally without thinking to your self how lazy you are and how you'll never get the chance to just be a kid and its all they're fault

“Caring friends” Something we need so much more. “Comfort” Something we get from the internet more than our parents. “Depression” Something most of us have. “Fake friends” Something we have to many of. “Freedom” Something most of us barely have any of. “Love” Something we don’t feel like we’re getting. “Being ourself” Something hard to do. “Fitting in” Something most of us try to do but can’t accomplish. “Being happy” Something we have a hard time doing. Something that’s hard to be. “Friends” Something we have to many fake of.

I'm so tired of being bossed around and literally under control of everyone. It feels like its not me that matters anymore, its just the role i play in their lives that matters. I am so exhausted why cant people just get off my ass for five seconds. Everything i do is a problem or i did it wrong.

I wishhhh Ik never had sex in the first place or watched anything inappropriate to corrupt my mind or feel the need to need a romantic relationship or friends to feel happy I wish I never left school I wish I wasn’t such a sacred kid and went into this4 art classes I always wanted to get into as a kid I wish I was carried to bed and never woke up

It's gotten so bad I can't even hide my cuts anymore. My family found out and told my therapist and made sure my schools staff knows

Tired too tired ......

This is the first vent playlist I really listened to it feels good to cry I’m just so used to hiding it

Should i end it all?

For me, it’s when you can’t pretend anymore

You know... It was all good, until he came into my life. I had high expectations for this year, thinking i would actually be happy, i would be better, i woud be good to others and myself. But now,look at me, sitting here, hearing this song overthinking again. I can't sleep correctly, always when i try he appears there, in my mind always with his stupid voice, his jokes, and when i try to forget about it it just gets worse and WORSE EVERY TIME, I JUST WANT TO BE FREE I DON'T WANT TO SEE HIM EVERYDAY AND EVERYDAY AGAIN AND AGAIN, i just wanted to be happy again, to be understood. Last year at least only my psychological deteriorated, now this torture is phisical and mental. I want to, i try to, but at what cost? They won't hear me anyways. Everytime i try to get better and i finally achieve it he sucks all of it from me taking me back to the start.its so hard to be like this ...

I am supposed to be happy but it has all been a lie and a story I made up hoping that someone would see through this lie but never did and they always assumed my smile was real

Sometimes life doesn’t feel worth it right? 16 years of what? Torture? Loneliness? Regret? Maybe all of them. What I would give to go back in time just 2 days. Maybe that could have helped. Just 2 fucking days. Maybe she would still love me.

You know it’s bad when I’ve prayed day and night to be terminally ill….

- es sorprendente. cuando estoy triste y quiero llorar, vengo aquí. no puedo llorar delante de mis amigos...

POV: You're supposed to be the funny, crazy, cr@khead freind, but you feel like its just a mask of how you want to feel I feel tired....i just want to sleep but im listening to this at 10:00 at least theres a snow day tmrw :D

Been crying everyday all night n cutting myself . I am being a burden to everyone my mom wished that i was dead . Today i am cutting myself again feeling the pain that i used to feel when i was in 6th grade.

I'm tired of pretending I want to smile that I want to laugh it's constant acting when I myself no one likes me no one because I think too 'deep' my friends don't like me anymore so I just act my parents don't like me it sucks and I do hundreds of things that are good for your mental health but it's brought me nothing I'm not happy but like Frederick Nietzsche said to live is to suffer and to survive is to have meaning sadly it feels like I have none. farewell random person hope your life is better than mine Update: I'm getting worse my body hurts all over my head feels like it's being like split in half and I've tried to talk to someone but they don't listen and also since I believe in something different (I'm not going to say what it is)I'm basically outcasted I've lost my friends my family are starting to catch on and are being very passive aggressive about it and I keep having these thoughts I'm pretty sure you know what thoughts I'm talking about. maybe I'll update this again if I'm alive

I can’t do this anymore i can’t I’m done I’m done i quit everything i quit 6th grade i quit smiling i quit pretending i quit being nice i quit caring i quit bushing my teeth i quit brushing my hair i quit not being angry at this i should’ve been i quit trying myBEST i quit i quit i hate this why can’t i be someone else and just let my body no this stupid body die and rot i tired I’m fucking tired i hate how they do thing and the next day act ok after what they said or done i can’t even trust anyone i can’t even trust my mom my dad my sister my momo my Popo my tete my cousins my entire family not the counselor last time i did that it did not go good i just get in trouble form so many god damn things that are fucking stupid i can’t take this I’m just a kid i am trying i am i really am but you don’t understand that i sorry I’m sorry for things i did not do I’m so fucking sorry i just wanted to help i was trying to make sure you were ok i thought you wanted ice cream but you didn’t you were just doing something wrong and did not want me to see i hate you and i hate you mom and dad i really do you guys hurt me so much mentally y’all make me think i dont do anything right and that I’m not trying or giving it my all so that’s why i give up we can’t even be happy together on trips and it’s always because of me ALLWAYS me why does my life have to be like this I’m only 11 I’m a kid understand that fucking understand that get i though your fucking head please just understand

hey there i dont know you but.. i love you hair. i love your nose. i love your mouth. i love your acne. i love your face. i love your eyes. i love your smile. i love your laugh. i love your teeth. i love your legs. i love your personality. i love your character. i love your style. i love your weight. i love your insecurities. i love your accomplishments. i love your failures. i love the way you dance. i love the way you act. love your taste in music. i love your taste in movies. i love your taste in tv shows. i love the way you think. i love your creativity. i love your voice. i love you hand gestures. i love your scars. i love your past. i love your art. i love your honesty. i love the way you look. i love you in the day. i love you in the night. i love you at midnight. love the little things you do. i love everything about you. you are not the problem. you are not ugly. you are not fat. you are not too skinny. you don't have a ugly smile. you don't have ugly teeth. you don't have an ugly face. you scars are not ugly ( they make you strong 💕). you are not useless. you are not dumb. you are not annoying. you are not worthless. you are not foolish. you are not ridiculous. you are not absurd. you are not a fool. you are not a mistake. you are not clingy. you are not crazy. you are not demented. you are not nasty. you are not awkward. you are not embarrassing. you are not unattractive ( they just not your type ). you are not unsightly. you are not unlovely. you are not repulsive. I'm proud of you for waking up. I'm proud of you for brushing your hair. I'm proud of you for breathing. I'm proud of you for making your bed. I'm proud of you for eating. I'm proud of you for trying to eat. I'm proud of you for drinking water. I'm proud of you for being here. I'm proud of you for being you. I'm proud of you for smiling. I'm proud of you for continuing on even when things are difficult for you. I'm proud of you for standing up. I'm proud of you for blinking. I'm proud of you for getting out of bed after spending the whole day in bed. I'm proud of you for brushing your teeth. I'm proud of you for standing up. I'm proud of you for sitting down. I'm proud of you for defending yourself. I'm proud of you for believing in yourself. I'm proud of you for simply trying. I'm proud of you for being alive. i love you, you are beautiful, I'm proud of you, you deserve better don't think so bad about yourself, you are beautiful and you will always be beautiful ❤!! if you want to talk my insta is "_0mgalice" feel free to text me I'm not going to judge. also feel free to replie and vent ❤

hi😔😔😔😔

Hey whoever is reading this I want to ask you a question is it weird that I have trust issues with a lot of people even my closest friends I just feel weird if I tell them about my feelings. Pretty much every time something goes over my feelings I just joke it off and act like nothing happened. Anyways I just wanted to see if anyone understands you know.

POV you’re the therapist friend but you feel like a filing cabinet :(

It's getting worse. Why should i live my life this way? I could just end it all here can i? Maybe it's the best solution to this never ending pain

Its funny, I went from the "Therapist of the group" to the "suicidal friend"