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I don’t usually comment but I feel like this encapsulates how I feel towards my relationship with my mother. I am currently NC with her but I recently found out that she’s undergone surgeries for potential breast cancer which has opened up the wounds I’d concealed regarding mending the damages she’d done to me and the guilt surrounding abandoning her the same way she did emotionally. I used to grow up being told that if she succumbed to Alzheimer’s (family illness) or stress it’d be because of me (and my siblings). As I grew up, she continued to be extremely high maintenance, nitpicky, image-oriented, hyper-critical of my every action; it’s like she never knew how to be positive or receptive to other people’s emotions. She always talked about herself, and if not herself, she’d criticize others. She would verbally berate me especially as the only daughter, and eventually it got to the point of extreme physical abuse until I hit her back and she stopped. I barely come home now, but when I do mention it, she’d justify it with me being a hardheaded and rowdy teenager. It hurts a lot because as an adult woman now it’s so easy to slip into her fate. I know how she grew up; women weren’t allowed to eat at the dinner table, they’d start cooking at 5 years young, her dad was extremely patriarchal and beat her mother and laid hands on his children too. She refuses therapy out of pride. I knew she was fargone even as a teenager, when she told me not to confide in others and ruin our image when my little brother attempted suicide. Now, she refuses to tell relatives that her body is deteriorating out of preservation. I understand, and I don’t want to lose her, but the sickly woman who is trying to connect now doesn’t look like my mother… I already laid our relationship to rest, but I don’t want her to die. I wish she’d try to look inwards but she’s still back in Vietnam mentally. I haven’t called her since her second surgery.

nobody gets me like LadyBird gets me

Great video! "Because when we're able to see ourselves we're able to see each other." 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 Self-love is the key! Loved the references. ❤❤❤

This was really beautiful. I felt so much grief and compassion through watching it. Thank you for such a healing and holistic perspective. ❤

Lloré con todo el video jajajaja. Gracias

Nah, my mom sucks IDGAF

Okay the end of this did make me cry ❤❤

I always hated being compared my mother. All my life i have, both good and bad and it just makes me so infurated. I want to be seen as my own person, not a mini her. I love yet resent her so its hard. I try to explain that comparisons makes me feel like im not my own person snd she doesnt understand. Her ego taking it as I should feel glad to be compared to her now that she's "better" in her eyes.

I can't explain what happened or why, but I lost that unconditional, unassailable love that only a child can have for her mother when I was only 4. It broke me in so many ways, I have never been able to love my mother the same way ever since. I'm 28 now. I feel like I'll always be searching for the answer

EEAAO is also a story about Mom struggling with ADHD and with that, how to cope with undiagnosed ADHD, interpersonal relationships, time blindness, internal restlessness and problematic decision making. This is confirmed by the duo directors of the movie, the two Daniel’s.

I miss you mum 😢

Didnt expect to cry watching this

As someone with family estrangement who is white it's really interesting to see how culture and race has an impact on the mother daughter dynamic. Lady bird was an incredibly powerful film to me although my experiences differ, I might watch everything everywhere all at once now. I can't help but think of Turning red and the addition of magical realism can add to the dynamic

i knew it was over for me when I started tearing up minutes into the video

a sentence my mother said will always haunt me, "as a woman, i understand why my mom did everything she did but the little girl inside me will never forgive her." it struck me like lightning when i first heard this because i think i feel the same way

I SOBBED to this video ❤️😭

As a Joy with mommy issues, EEAAO hit SO HARD 😅

this video is amazing. thanks for making it.

I'm a mother, my daughter sent me this. Fir all the daughters that read this, I never once did anything with the intention of hurting physically or emotionally my child. As God is my witness, because he knows the love I have for her, it's hard to see this💔. I thought I did my best😭

My mom speaks spanish, I would really love to share this video with her, I know she can be open to learn from it. I would be very grateful if spanish subtitles can be added, or if I can have the chance to translate it.

i might just watch this with my mom

Woow, this video is soo amazing, can't image the amount of effort that was put into making this masterpiece.

I wish this was in Spanish so my mom could understand me

I'm in my 30s and still struggling with many things mentioned here in regards to having a power conflict with my mother. I've been coming back to this video over and over and have cried at so many moments. Thank you for making this. To hear someone break down everything eloquently is very cathartic.

INSTANT subscribe i loved this

I'm only 11 minutes in and I'm just sitting on my couch crying

Thank you for this excellent video! ❤️😭

I've been depressed all my life and was passively suicidal. By the age of 22, I was starting to see my mother for who she really was and resenting her for it. Then she killed herself, and the whole "i'm never going to end up like you" is what pulled me through those years. I kept going out of spite, I felt like she'd stolen my emergency exit, since I saw her suicide has pathetic. She ran away from her problems, instead of trying to fix them. She let me her son to rise, which she'd been doing since I was 12 anyway. I was _furious_ when she died, and decided I was never going be as pathetic as her. It forced me to live, and I was angry about it. She killed herself over some narcissistic man and instead of being an adult and leaving him and learn to be alone, she decided to die. It's been almost 10 years, and I've made a good amount of peace with it now, but I still am angry to some extent. I know she was a daughter too, and she had a shit life. Her own relationship with her mother was shit, but she doesn't get to kill herself and hurt us in this way, and expect me not to be angry about it. Occasional kindness doesn't erase abuse, am I right? No, her death wasn't about me, it wasn't "abuse", it still traumatized me though. Actions have consequences. It strikes me as extremely ironic that she's dead and I'm still going through the love-hate cycle. I miss her, yet I'm glad she's gone.

"As a woman, I have so much empathy for my mother, but as a daughter I have so much anger."

You really did not understand the movie even remotely

Wow thank you for this video. Great job

Cool 4 mins in and I feel like sobbing. Get out of my head lol.

With my extremely abusive mother whose presence suffocated me so much, I am glad and absolutely happy to live far away from her. I do not even wish to visit her, even answer her calls. I am at peace without her. And one thing about her, she’s very performative, likes acting the nicest person to outsiders, overcompensating, giving them things probably to get validation. While we her kids , the people living experienced her abuse daily. I remember saying “she is giving other people things she withholds from us i.e food, she does not know that charity begins at home “

damn I wanna support - this was an amazing analysis w top tier editing. where the paypal or patreon at?

This healed something in me

this is such a beautiful video

i had a complicated relationship with my mother as a child. I am now the age of 19 and i can finally feel the love she feels for me. She learned how she hurt me and i learn how my resentment hurt her. And she have finally accepted how she treated me and neglected me even if that was never her intention . And even if we aren’t blood she is my mother and will always be

Watching this, I realized when I watched these movies, I always saw myself as the daughter (even after becoming a mom). I now have a 5yo daughter and… I can see myself becoming the moms if I don’t make more intentional choices than my mother made. Thank you for this. It’s given me a good think.

I still haven't recovered from Everything Everywhere All at Once. It reflects my family to a tee. Without the happy ending, unfortunately.

The way this made me sob, this year I’ve started to accept the disconnect n brokenness between me and my mom. having to grieve a relationship you wont get with a parent runs so deep

thank you so much for making this video❤ as someone who has had ossues with their mother thwir entire life and as an adult am now trting to reconnect with mine (and only because shes now allowed herself to see me as a person, not just the child she qas teting to raise( albeit painfully) this video mwans a lot to me.❤

Oh the thought daughters are gonna love this one

You did such a great job at this video thank you so much for clarifying so much for me.

the way i cried watching this video.

This is a criminally underrated channel!

This video is fucking amazing

Interesting, highly quotable and addressing important issues. Thank you for your analysis. Following. As a nonbinary person that has been perceived as a daughter, the intelectual, moral and emotional dissonance of people treating me like something I am not while trying to erase my will, my thoughts and my voice has been a big obstacle. I have been oppressed by people trying to force me to be a woman and a mediocre one. I feel most ideas mentioned here. But also I do not fit the positive side of it in a way the average person would understand. Because my gender and way of thinking is the opposite to what it is expected of me. I am not particularly wired to take on abuse or to be submissive. Nor good in a feminine way, and even if I was, the person my mother would be hugging would be someone I am not. It has layers and layers of invisibility. I just with adults would have been able to learn to regulate their own feelings so I would have been able to express mine when I was a toddler or a kid.

What happens when a mother never learns? When a mother never apologizes because she really believes she's done nothing wrong?!? When she is so bitter at her own life choices she becomes envious and jealous of the future her daughter has she goes out of her way to sabotage the daughter's life too?

Thanks for the essay, now im crying.