Видео

I'd love more resources on this topic.

Talk about honoring YOURself w compassion, Dude.

Too much focus on "wickedness" and little on helpful action

Excellent concepts. VERY well presented. Surprised there are not more comments.

I was my mother's surrogate husband from the age when I was old enough to understand what my father was doing to fail her. I would mediate in their conflicts and dry her tears. I felt responsible for her. I think she 'stole' me on to her side, and my father stole my younger brother on to his. I enjoyed Patria's story. You become hyper-aware of both parents' non-verbal cues. I now realise the reason my brother and I missed out on each other was and is because of this tacit arrangement within the family. No one has ever acknowledged what it cost child me to referee and witness all that. Now I'm physically ill, after years of counselling, which failed to treat the CPTSD I've only recently realised I have. I'm weary on every level. My brother's attitude to me is bad, and he is not on my side in general. He doesn't acknowledge our shared past, saying he can't remember any of it, yet something turned him against me (he won't admit that either). Only lately have I learned about how this kind of emotional abuse early on, typically leads to siblings - who are each other's only witnesses, and should be allies - to instead, becoming enemies. I found this video through a search for 'parental triangulation'.

To cause harm means that: (i) parents meant to ignore their children or (ii) they meant to hurt us emotionally Which one or both ?

@adamyoungcounseling361 Excellent, could you please direct me to the episode about reconciliation

... on May 21 ... is spoken / read out as ... on May 21st ... because calendar dates take ordinal numerals, not cardinal numbers. This is basic literacy and numeracy. Don't let ignorant media influence how we speak.

There are other types of triangles, though, right? Like one parent having a pattern of blaming the other parent to the children (even the adult children). Or secondary abuse, where one spouse pulls in an unwitting counselor to collude with him against the other spouse. So your "goodness" can be utterly destroyed.

Vivaldi's Four Seasons

Some people are almost always in a state of fight / flight / freeze. This condition affects competency / competent functioning.

Profound

Amazing riches in so short a conversation - thank you

And this is why men care so much about body count

I listened to this from the beginning to the very end, even though almost every sentence is hopelessly out of date, as of mid 2020 at the latest. Res ipsa loquitur is Latin for The facts speak for themselves.

97% recovery rate, even without hospitalization. All deaths had at least three co-morbities.

In 2020 hospitals were empty, not overwhelmed. Those blue masks ate teflon coated. One molecule different from teflon, after DuPont was sued successfully for selling carcinogens.

Look up the 1919 Rosenthal Experiment. q.v. The Asch Test The Miligram Experiment.

Episodes 160 & 161 ?

Is there a 154 ?

Is there a 147 ?

Could there possibly be a way to fit any MORE ads into this??? I have lost count!! Every few minutes AD. Crazy.

... the younger of the two ... ... the youngest of the three (or more) ...

Damn this is really astute.

No Session 55 ?

The irony of the meaning of her name ...

10:46 like Job 😢

Thank you

this made me break down thank you so much for putting this up

If this were more commonly known & understood, inter-generational childhood trauma could be considerably lessened.

On the end of the podcast she mentioned a domain she was starting called the grief project. I couldn't find it. Would someone be able to share a link for that? Thank you!

I quit hoping. It hurts too much.

Thank you

It's crazy how deeply I resonate with both being chosen and the unchosen at different points in my story. I'd love to hear more on how triangulation affects sexuality

my parents got divorced when i was a baby and i was raised by a single mom (dad likely has npd/aspd and she was abused by him). the experience of being married to my dad made my mom traumatized and afraid of men, so she never remarried or even dated again. my older brother had behavioral problems and we had money problems, and my mom confided about all of this, and interpersonal issues at work and within the family, like her being insulted and demeaned by my aunt, from a very young age. i remember it starting when i was in elementary school and continues to this day (im 37 and i truly feel like i am her therapist, since she refuses to seek a real therapist). you are absolutely right that this "closeness and love" is not real closeness or love. our extremely close relationship primarily serves her. she ignored signs that i was being s.a.'d by my older brother from the ages of 7-13. i recently found out he told her what he was doing to me soon after it began, and he was in tears, but she did not stop him. she said she brought it up with me and i cried, and she dropped it because she thought she was making me uncomfortable. and the topic made her so uncomfortable she would rather pretend it wasn't happening than protect me. it's something i am trying to come to terms with. that although she is my closest relationship in my life, it's not a healthy one and is not equal. i believe i have avoidant personality disorder. i flee from closeness and have almost a phobia of socializing, but at the same time i get lonely and crave friendship. i am very lucky that i have a few wonderful friends who understand me and push through my avoidance to make me feel loved.

Am I correct in thinking the link to the handouts no longer works?

I'm just starting to understand what it looks like to engage my story... Gary mentioned looking at memories and evaluating how they made me feel... What else should I do after that?

Yeah the answer was no to a lot of these. They'd always say they know what it's like to be me, but they were so off the mark.

Profound..I left the Church as a Leader and Pastor for 20 years 5 years ago. I have CPTSD as well, and now know I am have a Disorganized Fearful Avoidant Attachment style. It is ridiculous to me that I can research in Hebrew and Greek....quote entire chapters etc. Yet, I still have NO feeling of connection to God.

You also cannot forgive properly as long as you do not acknowledge the fullness of how they wronged you. And thus cannot heal

love how you sit there and talk us through this difficult awkward like everyday human ty!

Ty 🙏

Your counselling is so good WITHOUT being preachy or creepily moralistic. Not going through a great time. Your counselling helps so much. Supported a little by buying a year of your podcasts on libsyn. Thank you.

I was homeless for 30 years living alone in the woods or under a bridge. Was in an accident and my face was messed up. It's still messed up. The phantom pains and the scaring is a thing. The isolation of it all affects me still today. Old guy now I guess probably not much longer left due to health concerns. Any story I might have is to be deleted when i leave. It's all about nothing anyway.

Thank you.

Thank you very much. For some time the Lord has been pointing at things about my relationship with my Mother, I did not fully understand. What you said makes perfect sense with what I felt and puts words on it. So yes it is my same sex parent, single mom... but when my step father arrived he felt in competition with me. I understand now. Now my question is, should I discuss it with my mom? I know she did not do it on purpose. Also how should I know what boundaries to put with her since my perception of relationships is affected?

❤❤❤❤ the most enlightening video about our attachment with God

What is it called when you’re a 9 year old girl and your crazy ass dad talks nonstop shit about your normal mom to you every time you’re in the car alone together? You keep telling him to stop talking about your mom like that but he keeps going on trashing her all the time… Then he hates you for being close to your mom even though you’re really not that close to her at all…

This guy actually said that every couple who do not get along or have a good connection triangulate their child. Give me a break.

Thank you for encouraging healing! ❤️‍🩹 . I love your message , “take your story as seriously as God takes it”