Holding a grudge/Adult child acting disrespectfully

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  • Опубликовано: 5 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 190

  • @traceyvega-freeman8510
    @traceyvega-freeman8510 6 лет назад +58

    I cried when l had to put my Narcissistic 24 yrs old son out. He didn't and doesn't respect my boundaries. His twin brother is still at home and paying rent. I cried but, l had NO other choice... His sister was put out at 18...The two of them are now living at her apartment. I hate that l had to do it but l don't have use for DISRESPECTFUL children in my life. Right now they are kicking my back in on social media, I've been told...but l DON'T give a rats tail, I'm good over here.

    • @StevenPettisMin
      @StevenPettisMin  6 лет назад +1

      I think you'll like this video as well: ruclips.net/video/ib0ysEs73to/видео.html

    • @petitpois8813
      @petitpois8813 6 лет назад +4

      Good for you. I wish my mom would do the same with my brother who is 40 & doesn't want to work & stolen money from her.

    • @cyntaraleblanc7079
      @cyntaraleblanc7079 6 лет назад +8

      Sometimes you gotta do what gotta do.!!!

    • @mteed
      @mteed 5 лет назад +4

      It's been a year..is it any better? I'm going thru the exact thing with a 24 year old and it's been extremely painful..

    • @carlawilliams8136
      @carlawilliams8136 4 года назад +1

      Amen Good for u.

  • @msve5636
    @msve5636 4 года назад +20

    Although this video is years old it hit home for me, I just let go of my son and turned him over to God, I will help anyone till the end but once you disrespect me I'm out and the sad part is when a child is involved and they use it against you, and sad when you don't have the support of Your husband it's like you been violated twice..

  • @TS-xv3jn
    @TS-xv3jn 7 лет назад +96

    Sometimes they pull your other kids in and they gang up on you... grown kids I mean.. its the most heartbreaking thing ever...

    • @R3_ILJ
      @R3_ILJ 7 лет назад +6

      Exactly! I'm going through that right now. I know God won't like it, but I plan not to be in thier lives when they turn 18

    • @TS-xv3jn
      @TS-xv3jn 7 лет назад +8

      I have struggled with this for 2 years... The Lord has been moving and things are starting to change. I encourage you both to be faithful to God and walk as obediant as you can. I dont mean chase them though. I have been in couseling for over a year . The pain is horrid.But, God is first and he wants us to put him first. Psalms is very helpful. Blessings and hugs ladies..

    • @TS-xv3jn
      @TS-xv3jn 7 лет назад +11

      I also feel that 2 Timothy 3 is right where we are at... a generation that is growing worse in regards to the family..

    • @StevenPettisMin
      @StevenPettisMin  6 лет назад

      I think you'll like this video as well: ruclips.net/video/ib0ysEs73to/видео.html

    • @christinadasilva8082
      @christinadasilva8082 6 лет назад

      Yes this is so true

  • @legaldoc19
    @legaldoc19 6 лет назад +54

    It's even harder when your ex spouse encourages this behavior with the kids for years.... time to let them go.

    • @StevenPettisMin
      @StevenPettisMin  6 лет назад

      I think you'll like this video as well: ruclips.net/video/ib0ysEs73to/видео.html

    • @mymusic4425
      @mymusic4425 6 лет назад +3

      Legal Doc OMG I never thought I would be going through this🤔

    • @stevewells8646
      @stevewells8646 5 лет назад +5

      I dealt with this for 2.5 years from my mid 20's daughter. I do believe her mom had something to do with it, but mainly it is her fault, as she is an adult now. I am so done with her and her drama, my life is drama free - 7mos and growing!

    • @Keepdapocket
      @Keepdapocket 4 года назад +4

      @@stevewells8646 I'm glad you did it my brother. My daughter was so disrespectful during her early and late teens. But, I was the adult. I figured when she becomes a woman, she will approach me and ask me questions, and then I'll let her know the truth.
      Well, she turned 23, and posted some absolutely disrespectful things on Myspace. I didn't have Myspace, but someone told me and I saw it. So, I came back into town to my parents, got all the documents, calendars, and tapes together. Then, I stopped at her house and asked her to go to dinner with me.
      At dinner, I pulled out everything.socuments how I went for custody three times. Tape recordings of when I would visit her the abuse I had to take from her grandparents and mother. A calendar showing all types of this.
      She started crying, but wait for it. She didn't cry because she found out the truth. She cried because she didn't believe it, and I was trying to down her family. I'm like these are court documents sweetheart. Notorized and signed by judges. The papers are yellow. These tapes are old as hell. These are their voices. Her comeback was I had to give them a reason for them to be that way. I said this was before you could even walk. Still didn't matter to her.
      At that point, I had to do something hard. I said, verbatim, "there is nothing I can do. I thought when you became an adult I could finally show my side. My mama kept all of this in hopes one day you would find out the truth, but that doesn't matter to you. I tried to have a relationship with you, but I have a wife and two kids. We live drama free, and I won't short change them. So, from this day forth, given this event that happened tonight, Im washing my hands of it. My hope for us to have a relationship is done. You're grown, and I don't do disrespect from any kid; especially a child that's mine. So, I love you, but you will not be hearing from me again".
      Her comeback to that was this: you've been married for years. You're a lawyer, and you've paid pennies in child support when I was growing up. It's not fair my family had to struggle when you have all this money. It's not fair when your parents had all this money. It's not fair my mom loved you, but you're married to another woman". So, I said your mother and I were in high school when we had you. And, I know you remember, she wasn't even sure if the baby was mine, or two other dudes. I was with your mother once. Your mother wasn't marriage material. I was a boy, had a slip up, and became a man after college. My wife and kids have nothing to do with your family. I tried having you for years. You wouldn't allow t as proof of these documentations. So, conversation is over. I'm taking you home.
      That was when she was 23. She is now 32, and I haven't tried speaking to her or anything.

    • @cephas5053
      @cephas5053 4 года назад

      @@Keepdapocket You sound like a narcissist

  • @tjodogify
    @tjodogify 6 лет назад +46

    THANK YOU...I choose ME...I have had enough..back and forth with BOTH my children, who are adult's..time to choose me..I am sick, physically SICK, and they do NOT care...why should I??...

    • @StevenPettisMin
      @StevenPettisMin  6 лет назад

      I think you'll like this video as well: ruclips.net/video/ib0ysEs73to/видео.html

    • @hothartzdh
      @hothartzdh 3 года назад

      Hell Yes!!!! Me to!

  • @negritainthejungle1625
    @negritainthejungle1625 6 лет назад +15

    I drlt with this for over a decade while battling MS. I finally told my daughter, I can't do this anymore. Call your dad you sent, you cousin, friend whoever. But you got to get out my house YoDay. I was tired of stresding, in and out the hospital. That was ttwo years ago. I'm at a point. I don't want her in my life anymore. Not like this. She has got to deal with whatever issue she keeps pretending doesn't exist. If you don't deal with your issues, that we all have. They will deal with you.

    • @SonjaElizabethTeal
      @SonjaElizabethTeal 5 лет назад +2

      I pray everything has gotten better. If not know that you chose YOU!

    • @---nj7hl
      @---nj7hl 2 года назад

      Amen. Those 2 Last sentences ..is what did it for me.
      I'm dealing w a situation where my daughter is in denial w her husband disrespecting me. And she is also acting like nothing happened when she knows her father tried to kill both of us several times.
      She now has a baby and decided to be back in contact w her abusive "father."
      I Pray nothing happens to the baby. But what can you expect from 2 Jezebels. I know I won't be hearing the last of it once the "honeymoon" period is over. Just as he never cared for her when she was a baby..I know he's only there out of some type of convenience.

  • @latrenawright754
    @latrenawright754 4 года назад +6

    This generation is lost... It's like our young adults act like it's cool to disrespect their parents... They curse you out, they act like it's nothing... and they say i'm sorry but never change their behavior. They try to use everything they can to manipulate you... You tell them you not taking it anymore then they wanna say you hate them SMH.. They can be so draining acting like that! You know you taught them right but something wrong with this generation!!

  • @curtistinemiller1560
    @curtistinemiller1560 5 лет назад +18

    When you raise kids especially alone and they grow up and go out in the world I did my best I I help you because you need assistance Don't disrespect the place you lay your head and take my help from granted sometimes you have to let go and let God. .....

  • @girthbrooks4730
    @girthbrooks4730 6 лет назад +12

    Exactly what's going on in my household with my 19 year old stepdaughter.
    Gets away with EVERYTHING, drives that wedge between me and my wife, and it seems like my wife is scared the girl might leave.
    I say GOOD!!.....better her than me.

    • @girthbrooks4730
      @girthbrooks4730 6 лет назад

      Maude Zelma
      Thank you very much.
      And thank you for taking the time to send me that comment.

    • @grind-n-find214
      @grind-n-find214 6 лет назад

      Girth Brooks exactly what Im going through.

    • @angelaburress8586
      @angelaburress8586 4 года назад +1

      Couldn't be over 18 living with me disrespecting me no ma'ma🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️!!!!!! What is wrong with y'all as parents to have grown children living with y'all and disrespecting y'all 🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️???

  • @parisfare7815
    @parisfare7815 4 года назад +3

    Children shouldn't disrespect parents but parents shouldn't disrespect their kids either. It goes both ways!!!

  • @MJ-my9sg
    @MJ-my9sg 6 лет назад +3

    My adult daughter's have treated me worse than a disease for over 15 years. I'm nothing but a bank, babysitter and hotel to them. They ignore Mothers Day, my birthday and Christmas. No gifts, cards or invites. They freeze me out over and over and over again if I'm not at their back and call every minute. My health has failed, I simply cannot live this way any longer. God give me the strength to accept who they are and live my life alone. This all started 17 years ago when I divorced their dad then he died 2 years later. In hindsight I see he taught them to disrespect me because he did. I moved 1200 miles away from daughter's, trying so hard to start over but it's excruciating.

  • @thatclover123
    @thatclover123 3 года назад +6

    my crazy sick grown daughter asked to move back in then set to destroy the whole house, turned her sisters against me, worst experience ever. Destroyed me financially, emotionally, every way possible the worst experience of my life. I’m a single mom. Let me show you you don’t 🙌 yes. I don’t need to suffer, it’s nuts. I am and was a good mom and the chaos and disrespect gotta go.

  • @englishtaylors4994
    @englishtaylors4994 4 года назад +5

    I spoiled my kids so much out of guilt that they are very disrespectful . They are not grown yet so I still have time to fix it and this popped up at two in the morning I needed this. Thank you.

  • @Imso_fierce
    @Imso_fierce 4 года назад +6

    I just disowned my daughter yesterday because she wants to be able to curse at me and when she talks to me or talk to me any kind of way. I threw ALL her pictures out as many as I could find. To hell with loving her, I'll do my very best to block out anything I feel for her, told her I was done. She gave me a thumbs up. I told her to keep that same energy until I'm dead.

    • @Theinsomniac826
      @Theinsomniac826 4 года назад

      Wow. How old is she?

    • @Imso_fierce
      @Imso_fierce 4 года назад +6

      @@Theinsomniac826 38 y.o. Its terrible to sacrifice all your life for someone who turns out to think they're above their own mother

    • @ricksold88s
      @ricksold88s 3 года назад +4

      @@Imso_fierce i am going through the same thing and i am done it has begun to make me ill in my body i choose me !!!! my daughter is 30 years old and thinks she can destroy my property at my home and curse at me like we in the alley no no more i choose me .

  • @sarahdavies3690
    @sarahdavies3690 5 лет назад +8

    Thank you for this, bless you, I needed this message. I agree actions speak louder than words at times. So so very helpful. My adult daughter's disrespectful behaviour has gone on for a year and a half now, not turning up to university lectures, to be with her druggie boyfriend (he doesn't study or work). I pray she will come to herself, and realise how loved and supported she was at home. It's affecting the health and happiness of our family 🙏🏼

  • @tmoni7839
    @tmoni7839 6 лет назад +16

    Omg I thought I was the only one who’s experiencing this situation. I have two kids I was fully involved in their lives. Both kids had different challenges meaning one kids dad fought me in the court system for 11 years for custody & the other kids dad was mia. I gave them a protective childhood and structure. One tried to slander me thru their church acting out & the oldest is mouthy and disrespectful slandered me on social media & our community. My hubby runs to both of them when they are in need but afterwards they disappear. They don’t call me they call him. They are 18 & 20 years old and I am heartbroken bc I wanted them to just be good and loving to us but at this point I’m ready to file for divorce and walk away from my husband and these kids and pick up the pieces of my life bc I sacrificed a lot for my family and I feel like it’s not appreciated and I’m not being respected in my home. I am tired & done. 😔😔😔😔

    • @7heavendoor924
      @7heavendoor924 2 года назад

      Mom, they are nacrisstist, extra extra read all about the word them nacrisstist, this is what you are dealing with, dear mom, you have too, stop thinking about me hat you have done for them this is a heavey, weight too carry,just know all the hat you have done and done your best and let it go, just know that you done your best stop dwelling upon the past, it will make you sick worrying and move on y'all study about nacrisstist, more nacrisstist God pulling the wool off of them, and hey are angry and bitter about thing they have not told you as of yet, and I they have not forgotten, and they are holding past stuff against you, things that has happened to them that you will never ever know.

  • @bobbygordenakaredneckbilly3856
    @bobbygordenakaredneckbilly3856 5 лет назад +3

    I am experiencing an adult stepson that is disrespectful to our home, to me and manipulates his mother. In-spite of holding a good paying job he and his wife never have any money. I am in the very position of the mother that asked the question. I never thought it as resentment but I do feel unsupported since he and his wife have destroyed our carpet in their room and my wife says "it's just one room, we can put in new flooring." Signed frustrated and depressed.

  • @mangorawhoney1981
    @mangorawhoney1981 2 года назад +1

    This is a good word. My 20 year old son is causing all kind of chaos in my home. He needs to get out of here.

  • @aliciasaracino1233
    @aliciasaracino1233 5 лет назад +6

    So true, how far do you go to help your adult son and at what expense. Health, spirituality, marriage, friendships, finances. And at the end, no change, no commitment to get help nothing.

  • @nychick5069
    @nychick5069 7 лет назад +36

    Been going through this for years. She comes around when she wants or needs something but if I need anything she is no where to be found. It hurts a lot. When I try to confront her about her behavior she becomes even more disrespectful. She is 30 now. When I was diagnosed with cancer she was no where to be found and then lashed out at me and told me it was because her father died (my deceased ex husband)- meanwhile, it was two months after her dad died that I had the surgery- she was still AWOL. I saw photos on social media of her out with her friends. It broke my heart. I have had to learn the hard way to let her go. I'm there again. I have to let her go for my own good. All I can do is pray for her. Only God can turn her around and change her.

    • @SonjaElizabethTeal
      @SonjaElizabethTeal 7 лет назад +4

      Dee D I'm sorry youre going thru this.
      I understand your pain.

    • @StevenPettisMin
      @StevenPettisMin  6 лет назад +1

      I think you'll like this video as well: ruclips.net/video/ib0ysEs73to/видео.html

    • @Kathryn1209
      @Kathryn1209 6 лет назад +6

      My son is disrespectful to the point of screaming at me. I am sad but I need to stop expecting him to act right and just let him go...grandchild and all

    • @djc621
      @djc621 6 лет назад +4

      Saved By Grace I have a 32 ur old daughter that is the same. Her dad is facing a health crisis but she can't be bothered. And when we can't give her what she demands she goes full on with a smear campaign.

    • @truepeace3
      @truepeace3 6 лет назад +4

      Please know that you are not alone. My daughter and I have been like oil and water ever since her senior year in high school. She’s 30 now and the single mother of my precious grandson. Her father coddles her so much and tolerates her disrespectful attitude towards me. I’m a born again Christian who loves the Lord and has seen to it that she was raised in the church and went to Christian schools through high school. But when she began to rebel, I seemed to be the only one on her hit list, except for God. She has turned her back on everything that has to do with the Lord and it breaks my heart. I’m just thankful she’s ok with me training up our grandson in the Lord. But she can be so hateful toward me and I just don’t understand why.
      As a mother, it’s painful to go through this. All we can do is pray that the Lord will soften their hearts to receive the gospel. The Holy Spirit is the only one who can change them. And pray that we continue to be faithful in our Christian walk and in love.
      I have to remind myself that perfect love casts out fear. Because she intimidates me so much that often I’m afraid to say what I want to say as her mother, because of her temper and my husband’s defense of her.
      Be strong in the Lord. He’s our only true rock of defense.

  • @blesseddaily9651
    @blesseddaily9651 6 лет назад +13

    Grown kids can be disrespectful, as parents you love you children, but 1st of all of you are grown and of age and disrespectful, you should be on your own, why fight and worry your parents. My motto is if you're grown, you're on your own. When I was growing up, I was raised to fear and respect any adult, but what the problem is our children are blessed, they don't remember sacrifices, they feel privileged, sometimes they don't give a care.

    • @CP-hb4ff
      @CP-hb4ff 5 лет назад

      Kimberly Johnson why were you taught to respect out of fear, that’s the difference between your generation and ours. We are all struggling, we are in this together, as a parent you shouldn’t have to say “oh you’re of age” what age? This child came from your choice to lay down with someone and they are your responsibility. With my mom we struggled but I was a kid, I grew up homeless in a shelter and swung from aunt to aunts house. My mom was very materialistic due to that and I grew up very superficial. When I was an adult I realized something was missing. It seems my mom never settled down and actually loved emotionally. Parents that are adults seem to forget that TOGETHER YOU WIN. KIDS DONT DISRESPECT FOR NO REASON. The pastor is sick “I chose you when I raised you” you Chose lord have mercy that’s your obligation the work starts when your baby is a grown up. When you have to prove that you still can love beyond the external cause this is your child. Not the worlds child.

    • @ahulto6403
      @ahulto6403 5 лет назад +1

      @@CP-hb4ff Some parents, as children, were taught respect/fear because they learned that as aboriginal peoples of this land (Big picture). There were life or death consequences. This information gave us the respect necessary for those who came before us...recognizing what they endured for us to be here. Three generations later, due to buying into the larger society's values, and losing a sense of who we were, there are youngish people who think their job is to make life hard on their parents. We all do the best we can AT THE TIME. One person's best at a given time will never be the best of whoever is telling the story. However, the truth is, parents owe their offspring nothing. In this society age 18 or 21 is considered adult. Stop looking across the fence to see what others have--to which you think you are entitled, as well. Spend the rest of your life working on yourself. Respect your parents. Most of them did NOT have a choice. Biology made the choice and they made the best of the choice available. Anyone who falls back on "...made the choice to lay down..." Must not have a very clear picture of the Creator's design of life.

    • @CP-hb4ff
      @CP-hb4ff 5 лет назад

      A Hulto if we all do our best all the time then why at 18 and 19 if you’re not where your parents want you to be you get the boot...what happens if you lose your house at 27 but your parents have cash are you disrespectful for needing to come back home? Divorce at 35 and need some down time or a loan from your retired dad. Too much to ask ? Be homeless while your parents sleep with 3 extra rooms? A parent is a parent forever , they are banks, providers, listeners, and above all forgivers. Too many people relying on what society says about family and life instead of navigating from the soul.

  • @rhouse4958
    @rhouse4958 4 года назад +4

    Love “I chose you when I raised you,know I choose me” 👍

  • @lhmai8217
    @lhmai8217 3 года назад +2

    Thanks for the support... So heart breaking....to seeing my 20s yrs old child treating like i am dead...

  • @DIAMONDGIRL57
    @DIAMONDGIRL57 4 года назад +4

    Allowed my soon to be 41 year old son to move back home as he was going to be homeless during the Pandemic. My brother and I had been in quarantine for a month. I explained the expectations and he agreed. My brother dismantled his study and converted it into a bedroom for him. Recently, he insisted that he bring his children to the house. I told him now is not the time as I am over 60 and do not feel comfortable with the children coming over during this Corona Pandemic. He cussed me out in front of my brother. Two weeks prior, he cussed out my brother because my brother told him to take care of his court issues as the Sheriff’s office had been to my house looking for him three months prior. I told him he must leave! Now I don’t feel safe in my own home. He must go!

    • @---nj7hl
      @---nj7hl 2 года назад

      Get a Wyze camera..its cheap and send you notifications. At least you have an extra pair of eyes in case anything were to happen.

  • @venessatalbert4602
    @venessatalbert4602 6 лет назад +10

    Lord Jesus.....thank you for this video. This message was for me! I receive this wisdom, encouragement, and reasserted parental power in the mighty name of Jesus! I saved this to my favs.

    • @StevenPettisMin
      @StevenPettisMin  6 лет назад

      I think you'll like this video as well: ruclips.net/video/ib0ysEs73to/видео.html

  • @judymarshall3661
    @judymarshall3661 6 лет назад +3

    Thank you for this video. I needed this biblical message concerning my 22 yr. old son.

  • @lisabeatty7778
    @lisabeatty7778 3 года назад +2

    Living this right now! Thank you for sharing this! Definitely words I needed to hear!

  • @jillm.3027
    @jillm.3027 3 года назад +2

    I miss my daughter and her children, but have decided to create a boundary of not talking to her unless she can talk in a respectful manner without blaming, shaming, and judging me for her estranged relationship with her sister.

  • @jacquelineklinger3886
    @jacquelineklinger3886 4 года назад +2

    Sounds like what I’m going through. :Lord... thank you for blessing me. Please keep her alive until she comes to her sense, please make her see that I am not her enemy ! Amen

  • @limapodima7534
    @limapodima7534 2 года назад

    Praise God! Thank You for sharing the wisdom of our Father in Heaven 🙏❤️🤗

  • @charlesmartin7347
    @charlesmartin7347 4 года назад +2

    What love can't teach you pain will . A bought lesson is sometimes better than a taught lesson.

  • @patiencekrayee9101
    @patiencekrayee9101 4 года назад +3

    My 20 year old burn my furniture and break my things when he can't get weed to smoke.im so tired of him till now im going no contact.i cant keep a man cause he don't want nobody around me or want me to be happy.he only happy when im sad or lonely

  • @tanyamackey467
    @tanyamackey467 3 года назад +2

    Thank y’all so much for this it really is opening my reality of what I’m dealing with God bless you both!🙏🙏🙌🏻🙌🏻

  • @gypsyfirefly8009
    @gypsyfirefly8009 6 лет назад +3

    My experience with my daughter who continually makes large life mistakes is that it doesn’t matter what I do for her & her child it’s never enough. The child is out of control & I’m exhausted with the both of them & physically sick from the stress if it.

  • @feliciaadams3134
    @feliciaadams3134 3 года назад +2

    Good Evening Tuning in from Hagerstown Maryland I am experiencing this right now as I am watching this video I have a disrespectful 20 year old daughter she is the oldest out of my 4 I have raised all my children without any help from their fathers

  • @neshebaadams
    @neshebaadams 3 года назад +1

    I love this...Thank you!!!
    My daughter just recently had a baby...she's very disrespectful with that mouth now she disrespectful to me in front of her boyfriend who i let come into my home everyday from 8Am to 10pm but its getting to be to much...he doesn't say anything when she is being disrespectful...she recently got out of control with her mouth in front of him again so i told her her company has to go..she replied no he's not going anywhere he visiting his son....im like what ..this is my house since you want to be disrespectful again he has to go ..so she sat on his lap and said he's not..so that's when i called the police ..but i hung up and called my son....which came over however her boyfriend left..now he is not allowed over my house ..I don't care if he is the baby father..he is very much disrespectful to for listening to my daughter and not leaving when i asked him to...I told my daughter she has to go however i felt bad because of my grandbaby ...however im done with this..its to much im 46 and my daughter is 23...

    • @mymusic4425
      @mymusic4425 3 года назад +1

      @Neshaba I posted on here 3 years ago and it has gotten worse with my daughter. She has my grandbaby now I only saw her once and I might not see her again because I'm DONE!

  • @denisesummers6909
    @denisesummers6909 3 года назад

    I am going through this right now. And I needed to hear this. Thank you. It is so difficult.

  • @sincereiam
    @sincereiam 5 лет назад +7

    I think it's easier for a father to walk away than a mother. A mother have a different connection with the child. We housed them while they developed for 10 months.

  • @TS-xv3jn
    @TS-xv3jn 6 лет назад +4

    this is a 2 month update. yes things started to change....but they cut me to the quick for trying to work, talk or mend. They want to be in total control of what I say or do. So I feel like a puppy getting kicked if I say anything more then the weather is nice. I believe its the entitlement time in their lives and I have to learn how to brave new waters.. I just need the pain to go away... love and prayers teri

  • @carlawilliams8136
    @carlawilliams8136 4 года назад +1

    Good morning praise the Lord came across your page this morning was listening to this this was excellent I went through some of this and yes you really have to be firm with your children if not they will try to walk all over you but thanks be to God everything is okay for me now watching from Maryland

  • @kaicigavin5050
    @kaicigavin5050 6 лет назад +10

    What about when they have your grand children and you know it will hurt the grandbaby? 💔

    • @blesseddaily9651
      @blesseddaily9651 6 лет назад +1

      Always be sweet and loving to the baby, children a gifted and can since love through anything.

    • @queenstatus3049
      @queenstatus3049 5 лет назад +5

      My daughter used to keep me from my grandchild to hurt me. I stood my ground and she eventually came back around.

    • @angelaburress8586
      @angelaburress8586 4 года назад +5

      You have let go and let God PERIODT!!!!!!!

    • @neshebaadams
      @neshebaadams 3 года назад +1

      Look at my comment love i to just had a grandson y my disrespectful daughter

  • @reddlucciana7832
    @reddlucciana7832 4 года назад +3

    Ive let My Disrespectful Daughters come home more than once. The Last Time My Grown Married Daughter w 3 Kids Let Their Home Go Without Securing Another Home. So I Set Boundaries w MY Daughter. I gave her 30 days to find a place, i told her that Her Husband was Not gon be Sleeping on My Couch w You, clean up after your kids, and be Respectful. She Broke Every Boundary We Set. Her Husband and Her Have GOOD jobs. So 1 Whole 8 days Goes By and Im Waiting on the Kids Hand n Foot while Her n Her Husband layin on my Couch Watching Love n Hip-Hop Hollywood🤦 I work from home talking to people in crisis. So i told her on those days she would have to take the 2 youngest boys out. Go look for Apartments. Go put in some applications. Bcuz i need to Have Quiet when im Tryin to Support these Callers.
    My oldest Gbaby is Quiet when im on a Call.
    Sooooo She Exploded cussing me out Yelling at me in front of my babies that i put her out. No i told you to put some 🔥 under yo tail and make somethin happen. And i dangone sure aint gonna have a grown man laying on my couch while HIS Family is Struggling. But when she said F#@$ u B!+€# That was it. My other Grown Daughter Is back n forth w her Drama n negativity n Stress. But Afterwards I Always FEEL Like im A Horrible Mother💔😭.
    Please Pray 4 Me

  • @MsChicagobears1
    @MsChicagobears1 6 лет назад +6

    My middle son has been angry with me for years. He was always tearing his little brother down. I got tired of him doing this and made him move in with his dad - he was in his 20's by then.. We discovered the little brother has Aspergers. He was bullied at school and didn't need to have his brother belittling him. Now my middle son loves to find fault with me. Yesterday it was over a key. Before that it's been over pizza. Small things. I finally told him I was sick and tired of it and if he didn't like what I did or how I am he can stay home.
    I am thinking of cutting ties with him.

    • @CP-hb4ff
      @CP-hb4ff 5 лет назад

      MsChicagobears1 maybe they both have aspergers

    • @MsChicagobears1
      @MsChicagobears1 5 лет назад

      C P, unfortunately no. The older one likes being a jerk to his family. The one with aspergers is very sweet.

    • @karenwiggins8512
      @karenwiggins8512 5 лет назад +1

      Mschicagobear choose life, before this child send you to a early grave or mental, physical pain..pray for him bc.its only so much u can do.
      Choose whts.best for you.thts.not ungodly or selfish..i learn the hard way.it only gets worst cause you continue to let it happen.am praying for you sistah.

    • @CP-hb4ff
      @CP-hb4ff 5 лет назад

      MsChicagobears1 jerk how do? And how old

  • @angelagilstrap4453
    @angelagilstrap4453 4 года назад +1

    Awesome ,helpful spirit filled , pure advice.

  • @TM-lm6qv
    @TM-lm6qv 2 года назад

    Praise GOD I found this. Everything about the disrespectful adult child is/was this parent. God brought me here. I'm crying so hard. Ive had cancer and even molested multiple times by multiple people growing up and NOTHING has hurt me more than my adult childs disrespect. My family has told me to distance myself and even cut off communication with her. I can't because of my grandson. My daughter has threatened my life, broke in my home. She's been violent to her father. We are divorced. My daughter is no longer welcome in my home. I pray for her constantly. That God show her the way. It's been relieving and rough. But Today, I decided to live for me now. I will keep praying for my daughter. I know the Bible says to honor thy parents and my daughter doesn't. She disrespects everyone even Police and older people. I am afraid for her because she doesn't see the seeds she's sowing. I could go on forever about this. I am going to live for me now. I definitely understand how the female pastor felt. I guess because we're mom's and know we broke our neck to provide the best and beyond and to be cursed by your own child that you loved before the womb..it just crushes you so much. Noone can understand the heartache a mother goes thru with a disrespectful child. It's a different kind of pain. Almost like death of the child you gave birth to when you watch them become a stranger you don't know. Please pray for me and my small family. I will pray for all those parents who are going thru this too. Sorry this so long.

  • @creativeminds7527
    @creativeminds7527 4 года назад +1

    Tell the truth and shame the enemy!!! Tough love is the Greatest love, Ole school! Only those who have lived it will understand...... keep a living as my dad always says..

  • @stephaniedegange2737
    @stephaniedegange2737 4 года назад +1

    i love you for this message! thank you...my son has been killing me

    • @davisholman8149
      @davisholman8149 2 года назад

      My son is an alcoholic. I cannot stop his drinking - he has to. So worried about him. Scares me to death. I was a good parent - did t all for my kids.

  • @gwendolynwehage6336
    @gwendolynwehage6336 3 года назад +3

    Forgiveness is not for unrepentant people. Forgiveness is two sides of the same coin. In order to forgive, there must be repentance. The purpose of forgiveness is to restore a relationship that was broken. It cannot be restored when someone will not be sorry for what they did. We do not automatically become bitter as so many say because someone will not allow us to forgive them because of their lack of repentance. We pray for our enemies, we love them through prayer but we do not maintain a relationship with those who are wicked and mean. The psychology of today says forgive for your own sake, but that is not Biblical and is a form of enabling.
    We must allow the wicked person to experience consequences through the broken relationship. Reconciling without repentance does nothing except entitle the person to keep on being what they are that is evil.
    Isaiah 26:10 "10Though grace is shown to the wicked man, he does not learn righteousness. In the land of righteousness he acts unjustly and fails to see the majesty of the LORD. "I do not hate those who refuse to do what is right, but I do protect myself from them by removing myself. If I happen to see them on the street I am kind but not over the top friendly. They have broken the relationship so there is no connection there until they sorrow over their sin against us. Matthew 8:15-16 "15 If your brother sins against you, go and confront him privately. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. 16But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’…"
    The fact that someone expects forgiveness when they have not been sorry proves they will keep doing the same things over and over again. Get away from these people when possible. I agree with the people who counsel the parents to put their adult child out. This child has no business living with parents, they must earn their own way. When the husband will not do what he should then the mother must.

  • @chandrasingh7030
    @chandrasingh7030 5 лет назад +1

    Well said well done Steven ministries I totally agree with you may god bless you both

  • @MaryMicheleful
    @MaryMicheleful 4 года назад +1

    I enjoyed the discussion about disrespectful adult children.

  • @oliviabarr2986
    @oliviabarr2986 3 года назад +1

    I have a 24 for year old next month. I put her out at 18 and for the last 6 years it’s been messed up. She told me on Mother’s Day it’s been about her and she doesn’t need me. Mother’s Day is my mother’s bday and she also passed away on that day. I thought for a long time I wouldn’t get over it but I did. This kid became disrespectful drunk like her father. Maybe one day she will find her way.

  • @jamiestumps6146
    @jamiestumps6146 3 года назад

    Thank God for you Dr. and Pastor!

  • @paulletterose6171
    @paulletterose6171 3 года назад +1

    This video is old but it help me a lot i put out my 21yrs old son for begin direspecful to me , he is my first i love him very must but i have to love myself first he doesn't want to work he sleep and want to be with friend dont help me do nothing i have a small business he dont we to help me .

  • @888hereandnow
    @888hereandnow 3 года назад

    God gave me the scripture promise that "all your children shall be taught by The Lord & great will be there peace."Isaiah 54 :13 💞 this is my go to!

  • @expatfamilyjoubert1183
    @expatfamilyjoubert1183 6 лет назад +4

    Thanks for this ...help me a lot was always feeling guilty but I had enough... I choice me ..

  • @bridgetruth
    @bridgetruth 4 года назад

    This guidance is gold. Thank you! 😄🤗👏

  • @Sagicorn24
    @Sagicorn24 4 года назад +1

    I appreciate that- when helping you is hurting me

  • @yvonnewhite5798
    @yvonnewhite5798 3 года назад +2

    She's dealing with some NARCISSISTIC the one that has a disrespectful adult child living in the homeI do not agree that she should sit there passively and try to work things out she's going to have to get proactive the husband is an enabler and frankly that would be some serious problems in my marriage either she would have to go or I will go

  • @zobella8392
    @zobella8392 3 года назад

    All facts! I needed to hear this♥️

  • @gwendolynwehage6336
    @gwendolynwehage6336 6 лет назад +11

    Forgiveness is conditional! God tells us to forgive when the offender confesses. They not forgiven if they are not sorry.

    • @dearmaya939
      @dearmaya939 4 года назад +3

      Gwendolyn Wehage I think it isn’t the forgiveness that is conditional. It’s the putting yourself out there again that’s conditional of them being sorry and changing ☀️

    • @has892
      @has892 4 года назад +1

      I agree this was well put.

    • @marshabenjamin-hawaaboo5778
      @marshabenjamin-hawaaboo5778 2 года назад

      God NEVER said that! 🤨
      READ THE WORD AGAIN!
      Forgiveness is NOT conditional.

    • @gwendolynwehage6336
      @gwendolynwehage6336 2 года назад

      @@marshabenjamin-hawaaboo5778 Luke 17:3-5 "…3Watch yourselves. If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. 4Even if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times returns to say, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.” 5The apostles said to the Lord, “Increase our faith!”
      This clearly states that "if he repents forgive him."
      1 John 1:9 "9If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. "
      Clearly again; "if you confess your sins will be forgiven."

  • @ellebrowne
    @ellebrowne 4 года назад

    Fathers; provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

    • @shel0016
      @shel0016 3 года назад

      True but the most high speaks against tolerating disrespect on any level for adult children who step over boundaries. It's crazy if you have good woman or good husband and let them rruin your marriage and best believe your life will be ruined next. But of course you pray on it but never let someone come between you and your spouse who disrespectful
      . blessings all. And if you don't feel protected by your spouse then you may have a serious meeting with your partner.

  • @naturemom57
    @naturemom57 6 лет назад

    Thank you for this very important teaching God bless you

  • @CP-hb4ff
    @CP-hb4ff 5 лет назад +1

    In retrospect I am a 26 year old who has been taking care of my mom and sister for many years. Without me my younger sister would be alone 89% of the time while my mom worked job after job. Been working since I was 13 but When I lost my first long job I suddenly because the useless child. My apartment was taken at 22 and suddenly I became the failure who needs to go right back out there working to get another apartment. My dad is a retired man with 2 cars and a purchased house. He lives alone. To me that is a problem while I struggle to feed myself. When I switched from college to technology trade I was making the wrong choice. When I asked for help with a car after my father promised I let it go because that’s childish. But it was a broken promise. When my mom called my teenage style weird, my natural talents “lacking in ability to get paid”. No hugs no kisses no you look beautiful - nothing. It really hurt me. When I told my mom about my sexual assault as a kid she didn’t believe me. When I told her how I felt being hidden by my dad and his other family I was ignored. My older brother left the family and no longer talks to anyone. Without God I wouldn’t be able to keep the strength i have been in therapy, volunteering , self awareness, writing, entrepreneurial learning, reading , studying. When my mom talks to me her voice is always at a 8-10. And she speaks Down not rise me up as a woman. I know it’s not her fault and when I’m angry it isn’t disrespect - it is feeling. Feeling for myself finally understanding that for 20 years I have never seen the soul of my mom, only the hard shell of who the world has made her become. And it has been passed down to me. Blessings to the adult children 22-35. This generation has been through so much and nobody can see it but us. I love my mom but at this point my heart attack may come at 27.

  • @johndelvecchio5245
    @johndelvecchio5245 5 лет назад

    my children disrespect me now because i was a single dad and i punish them and hit them on their butt and they recent me for that now .they are both adult children now and i will always love them .I hope god keeps them safe always.

  • @bonniebrown6960
    @bonniebrown6960 6 лет назад +2

    I am definitely having to deal with my husband's son being disrespectful to me . I ignored a lot of things he did when he was growing up. He was 5 when I met my husband. He is 35 years old now . He's on drugs . He won't work . He won't go for help . He just wants to lay in the bed until it's time to go partying again. I don't know where he gets his money from . He lost his kids . His wife lives with an older man , because he won't take care of her
    She's on drugs too . I use to think things had changed some . I use to pray that they would straightened up their live and get their kids back . After seeing what I seen....NO .....!! Drugs or no drugs they shouldn't ever get their kids back . I have never seen someone that is so self centered as my husband's son . That's the way he was raised. His mom and My husband just let's him do what ever he wants . He doesn't offer to work . He doesn't offer to help around the house . He doesn't offer to help his dad work and his dad is 63 years old. He has to work out in the heat or freezing temperatures. I can't believe my husband is letting this go on. If it was anyone else...he would talk about them like a dog . Last week my step son stayed gone partying and came home all messed up on drugs . Today he want us to buy his cigarettes. I tell him no , but my husband give them to him . My husband has gotten where he talks to me like a dog . But if my stepson ask him a question he's just as nice as he can be to him. I'm usually very quiet person and I don't bother no one , but this has definitely caused some arguments between us . That's exactly what my stepson wants . I know he's laughing under his breath . He steals from us and he's cussed my husband just because my stepson went to jail . It's not our fault because he went to jail . We tried to get him to go get help . When he got out he denied stealing from us and my husband just brushed it off . So....I am worried that I'm going to have to get a divorce and I'm going to have to leave MY home that we built together for 30 years . If things don't change soon I will be homeless . My stepson messed his life up and I have to pay the price ? That's not fair and my husband doesn't care . I could understand if he was still a kid , but he's not . I don't know what to do . I have prayed to God....please God make him leave our home . Please don't let him ruin my marriage. In Jesus's Name i pray . Amen .

    • @leem9281
      @leem9281 5 лет назад +1

      Be strong dear

    • @patiencekrayee9101
      @patiencekrayee9101 4 года назад

      Omg I hope my son don't have to live in my home that long cause im so depressed cause of him.

  • @karenfreeman5731
    @karenfreeman5731 2 года назад

    I'm dealing wit the same thing my oldest daughter is very disrespectful and I hate how it makes me feel we argue a lot and butt heads a lot

  • @BedfordFalls7
    @BedfordFalls7 6 лет назад +2

    This guy is great. He makes so much sense.

  • @animus3328
    @animus3328 5 лет назад +1

    My son is 26...yells at me and his mother....he does not respect us at all...he lives with us...i am so sad...excuse my english

  • @yourhighness3627
    @yourhighness3627 4 года назад

    People should mind there own business unless they can walk in your shoes!! Forgiveness is everything but just cuz u forgive someone don’t mean u gotta smile in there face or deal with them!!

  • @saranagh7097
    @saranagh7097 7 лет назад +1

    Thks the Lord for small favors.

    • @StevenPettisMin
      @StevenPettisMin  6 лет назад

      I think you'll like this video as well: ruclips.net/video/ib0ysEs73to/видео.html

  • @virginiajones-finley2199
    @virginiajones-finley2199 4 года назад +1

    I have an adult son 35 does not live with me. Has in the last 5 years decided that he hates me to death. He hates the Jesus I love. He says I was a terrible parent. My husband and I his father and Idid live in an abusive relationship. I live in New York I am a retired law enforcement. His father and I separated when my children were about 6 and 9. From that point I took care my children on my own. I feel I did the best I can with what I had, what I knew. All of a sudden he gets with some woman who hates her family now he hates me and brings up anyway mistake I have made along the way. I feel if he is happy why is he harboring so much hate. I do not like his woman. He feels I should apologize to her because she has lied and said I smacked her and he is lying saying he saw it. This is an absolute lie. The girl said something disrespectful to me and I did get in her face to see if she had the nerve to repeat it. This is the third time my son had chosen this woman over me. Whst really pisses me off is my son and her went to Thialand for 3 years to follow him with his dream. As soon as they returned he dropped her and told me I don't really know her. I told my son this was wrong this girl has given up 3 years of her life for you it is not correct for your to drop her. After that I allowed them to live in my apartment for 6 months free. Than I remarried and told them I would pay there rent for a year in Florida. I did this work for overtime. All while my son has continued calling me a low life unachiever

  • @purpleladybug4645
    @purpleladybug4645 6 лет назад +1

    My 22 yesr old desrepectful son want leave. We WANT him to go. VERY Desrepectful. Scared of him

    • @bridgetmcdowell1992
      @bridgetmcdowell1992 5 лет назад

      @Purple Ladybug please remove the disrespectful son, before he hurts you.

  • @sincereiam
    @sincereiam 5 лет назад +3

    She lost me when she said her husband comes before her children. That man could leave you in an instant.

    • @shel0016
      @shel0016 5 лет назад +1

      If you follow gods law. The husband does come before the kids. But he has to be a man really trying to be a son of The Most High

    • @SonjaElizabethTeal
      @SonjaElizabethTeal 5 лет назад

      I know it sounded harsh but I see what she meant.

  • @jasmineanderson9307
    @jasmineanderson9307 2 года назад

    We keep confusing distrust and forgiveness please keep them seperate
    They are seperate things trust is important in any relationship
    Forgive all persons everyone but please please please don't trust some of them ever it will hurt n break you
    Child leave my location fast peeps let them leave your house n location

  • @DawnMaxwell-y4z
    @DawnMaxwell-y4z 2 года назад

    How do I honor my mother that doesn’t want to have anything to do with me ? It’s not bc of my disrespect to her it’s something about her .

  • @7heavendoor924
    @7heavendoor924 2 года назад

    Y'all need too start reading your bible and still pray for them, and ask God for his protection for them you don't have too be friend them,if these are not the case, you see the devil don't want you too pray from to have there souls, because he want their souls, PRAYFORThem, read psalm 23: for the heir protection, the devil is causing them too act this, and so you can completely have his way with them,, so he can have their souls,while they are not having Ng any thing too do with you, ask God to keep them safety,and not let and harm or danger come too them

  • @zenaidarodriguez332
    @zenaidarodriguez332 7 месяцев назад

    Say it again pastor cause my children feel they have a right to disrespect me pastor

  • @debbiekiser7178
    @debbiekiser7178 6 лет назад

    Amen !THANK YOU!!!

    • @StevenPettisMin
      @StevenPettisMin  6 лет назад

      I think you'll like this video as well: ruclips.net/video/ib0ysEs73to/видео.html

  • @mlightfoot
    @mlightfoot 3 года назад +1

    👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

  • @T2010_
    @T2010_ 5 лет назад +1

    I need that sermon about hurting yourself while helping others, Pastor. Where can I find it?

  • @cheryljune1603
    @cheryljune1603 5 лет назад

    I am raising a granddaughter who is now 19, her mother hit her a lot
    She has become hostile disrespectful makes my spouse and I argue, will not help us even now when we both have had surgery. I want her to move, she only makes 500 a month. I am going crazy, please help me get her to move oit

  • @joemoore6818
    @joemoore6818 4 года назад

    I believe you are right. But what do you do when the adult/kid have kids of their own. And kicking them out you kick out your grandkids to.

  • @xanthaalston4295
    @xanthaalston4295 3 года назад

    My husband adult son is disrespectful and argumentative with him about me no being around his grand kid. I don’t want to be around them but my husband chooses his kid and allows him to speak negative about me and says nothing we’ve been married 16 years

  • @teishaguillen1217
    @teishaguillen1217 6 лет назад

    My 18 move out my house on Nov 22 2017 she left me and her 9 year sister and have seen her for almost two month and have heat voice and she hold grudges towards me from keep always her father mother I was protection her from people put things in head and text there granddaughter say didn't like Mon bully you and I hope like life your mother is give you her grandma put through hell now my daughter betrayed and went live with her now and my 9 year is hurting wnd I'm still hurting

    • @StevenPettisMin
      @StevenPettisMin  6 лет назад

      I think you'll like this video as well: ruclips.net/video/ib0ysEs73to/видео.html

  • @candicemelson1139
    @candicemelson1139 4 года назад

    Don’t have anything nice to say than don’t say shit at all parent or child Practice what is preached

  • @samonaseymore9940
    @samonaseymore9940 4 года назад

    Good message.

  • @iamshesheisi70
    @iamshesheisi70 6 лет назад +1

    AWESOME VIDEO!

  • @brotherfirst4388
    @brotherfirst4388 4 года назад

    Feel free to see my playlist titled BroFIRST .....my street work. Salute

  • @coollikethat2691
    @coollikethat2691 3 года назад

    Y'all know it's videos talking about how moms are toxic and destroying their kids ? and here are the moms on here saying the kids are toxic and destroying them. 🤦‍♀️

    • @PkGam
      @PkGam 3 года назад

      Well, it's possible both are right depending on their scenarios as there can be toxic kids or toxic parents. Sometimes both at the same time. On the flip side, they could be wrong and are merely venting that they aren't getting what they want. That again depends on the scenario.

  • @LovelyyyNay
    @LovelyyyNay 5 лет назад

    Hello! I am that 24 year old daughter.......have you parents thought “what have I don’t to push my child to feel such way to me” other than crying that “I have sacrificed so much for you, I would never do this to my mom” etc. ? Have you parents reflect on how you acted towards us growing up? Or how your dumb ass mistakes have affected your children? Do y’all look at how your attitude towards you children placed a dint in how we look at you?

  • @tdecarlo7395
    @tdecarlo7395 4 года назад

    No, forgiveness is trust. You are to forgive like God forgives. When the Lord forgives you he forgives you completely. Imagine you seek the Lord and repent, and the Lord said “ok, I forgive you but I still don’t trust you”. That means Jesus’s resurrection was worthless. You guys are wrong. The things your are saying in this video is not biblical.

    • @shel0016
      @shel0016 3 года назад

      I suggest you read proverbs and esphesians. Blessings. They are very right.

  • @weirdone8784
    @weirdone8784 6 лет назад +1

    Why is your adult child an addict to begin with? What about the relationships within the family led to the child being addicted and so irresponsible?

    • @CP-hb4ff
      @CP-hb4ff 5 лет назад

      10:37

    • @CP-hb4ff
      @CP-hb4ff 5 лет назад

      A child has a right to be upset . You can be disrespectful because respect comes from equality. If your parent put you in the corner and made you feel off you have the right to be mad.

    • @ahulto6403
      @ahulto6403 5 лет назад +4

      @@CP-hb4ff No. Once a "child" calls themselves an adult, they are responsible for their well-being and behavior. No parent was put on this earth to be responsible for another adult...FOREVER! Whatever caused the addictions, or mental illness, or whatever, the adult CAN get help from some other source. Indeed, if they feel the parent did not do enough (their opinion) then they have the option to leave the parent alone. The problem comes when they want the benefits of being a child, then raise their adult head and guilt the parent into doing more. In reality, If some of these millennial were not blood, a lot of us would not associate with them at all. Totally unlikable people. THEY think they are entitled to YOUR blood, sweat and tears, without reciprocating!