And she didn’t call the police immediately like she should’ve… for me this call all comes down to this: she was attracted to him (this explains why she didn’t call the police on him when he showed up to her apartment) if he was not physically attractive to her she would have called the police The main question of this call: the big mystery is: why is she attracted to him There are 2 ways for her attraction to him 1. He sexually abused/groomed her when she was 15 and he was dating her Mom 2. She just finds him attractive naturally without any grooming etc Based on the evidence we have from the call I think there was grooming going on but we don’t have 100% proof I had to edit the comment cuz i forgot One more thing Since he took her virginity she is attached to him now, and he sexually imprinted her, which is why she is saying she can’t leave and that she loves him and that he is her world
@@tjmcavoy-jensen871 That's what concerns me - he showed up after she gave a clear no to going out with him, and she told nobody?? She wasn't alarmed that he found her location so easily?? She didn't want to move?? It does appear that we're missing part of the story like you said. She said that he only met her 3 times when he was dating her mom, but I wonder if he was keeping tabs on her somehow - maybe through social media or something? ETA: As for why she's attracted to him, she mentions being average and feeling insecure and not making friends at her first school. I definitely understand that, and felt it especially hard in college when everyone was hooking up. It can be great to feel like you finally have someone's attention. It's probably validating to have such a "mature" man be so attracted to her, want to spend time with her, invest in her, "need" her because he's so lonely etc.
@@theshunnedBandersnatch yeah he had to have stalked her through social media, glad to hear your perspective from a different spectrum on the attraction part, im on the other perspective as you cuz I’m a 22 year old male. I agree with you, because she feels like he is the best she can do for long term relationship because tbh young men like my age don’t really want to commit and add that to the fact that she has Low self image so she is taking the first man she can get aka settling because she is also thinking very emotionally cuz of all her mental issues. I also don’t think she will leave him anytime soon, poor girl is in a mess
This man knows what game to play and use on a woman that is yearning to be loved and craving attention from a man. He is a predator and manipulator. By him getting the mother pregnant and walking away without remorse or not having a conscience, tells what kind of a man he is. Single mothers, be careful who you bring into your home! I'm sure if he would have married her mother, he still would have gone after the daughter. As the saying goes, " many wolves in sheep's clothing".There ARE good men out there but you have to be patient and wait for the right man before getting involved with just any man that gives you attention.
She's 23. Shady and I don't know what he would have in common with her, but if the roles were reversed I feel like a lot of women would be cheering her on. Still screwed up though
- He’s known her since she was 15 - Parents for a divorce - First serious relationship - Struggled making friends & succeeding in college - First guy she slept with - Deep insecurity issues Yeaa she’s obviously in a very vulnerable situation. Her life feels chaotic & so of course she’s going to attach herself to the person who brings her “peace” even if it’s her mom’s ex
"I don't want you to do anything you're not comfortable with." From the guy who shows up at her apartment when she says no. Never heard of a better example of actions, not words.
Women, if you have kids in your home, please be very very careful in the men you date. It is way more common than you imagine they date mothers to prey on your kids.
@@slothisasin8240 I not the society that treats all women with no accountability, princesses and can do no wrong. Pray for me if you like. I had more women globally than 101 dalmatians. Women are just puppets to use.
Anyone who dated the mother, who insisted she kill his baby, and who stalks the daughter at home until she says "yes" isn't exactly husband material. If anything, he's earned a restraining order.
Exactly my thought, if a boy/man her age had shown up at her apartment like that would alarm bells have gone off? Not many men get to “score” an innocent young woman when they are in their fifties. I expect she added a couple of years to hers and subtracted a couple on his too.
This sorta happen to me. My mom’s ex kept running into me and one day he showed up at a appt I had. He had the audacity to tell me how bad of a gf my mom had been and he thought to himself, “I should have dated the daughter.” Right then and there I told him to fck off and to get the fck away from me. I called both of my parents and told them. My dad ran into him and told him I don’t care if you date my ex but I do care if you bother any of my daughters. Along with some lovely threats. This guy never bothered me again. This is extremely predatory behavior. Dad’s teach your daughter’s their self worth and mom’s be careful who you allow in your life as well as your kids. I realize this video is from a year ago and I hope Annalise cut this guy off from her entire world.
She is a grown adult capable of making her own decisions. Men at 18 are forced to register for war but this poor girl can't consent at 23 years old according to most women. This is insane the amount of females taking up for her. She called this show and explained her situation knowing how it would look to everyone listening and yet there are so many people taking her side. She knew this guy was 28 years older than her, dated her mom and knocked her up and would not take responsibility for said child. How are both legal adults not responsible for this situation?
@@noregertsyamsayin8011 He's taking advantage of the fact that she's emotionally vulnerable right now, and has never been with a man before and doesn't know what signs to look out for. If she was thinking clearly, she wouldn't be with this creep. Age gap doesn't bother me, it's his whole situation.
No way he was in her mom's life for 3 years and she only saw him 3 times. This man knows exactly what he's doing. He was watching her when he was dating mom.
@@murdahmammiez I would not allow any male I dated to see my kids. NO NEED. One man got angry at me for doing that. He said he would not date me, unless I introduced my kids to him. Then we didn't. Years later, I figured I 'saved' my kids from a predator. No need for kids to meet a bunch of males, till maybe, it was a connection. Marriage minded.
He would most likely try to guilt her into an abortion, leave her if she refuses to have one, leave her if she does have an abortion (her mother obviously had an abortion)
As a daughter of divorced parents, also in my early 20’s this call got me HEATED. I really hope she gets OUT NOW. This guy is absolutely a predator and groomer in my eyes. Truly revolting behavior to take advantage of her like this.
"...groomer" for *what*, exactly? While I can (and do) object to his advances, she is completely capable of making her own choices. SHE IS AN ADULT!!! I can definitely hear this ADULT person playing. She is aware of what she's doing and is, nevertheless, doing what she know is wrong. Stop excusing her.
@9INE PLANETS Groomers work on children, not adults. Since she has the capacity to know and to DO something about the relationship (i.e she's an ADULT) she's nobody's victim. She likely feels flattered that someone who merited her mom's attention, now is attentive to her. Tell me this; how do you KNOW, that he's been "...after her..."? This sounds like some kind of projection, on your part. Is he selfish? Yup. Is he egotistical? You bet! Is he lacking in morals and character? Absolutely! But a groomer? Where do *you* draw the line; when the "victim" is 30? 50? 100? At some point, we HAVE to be responsible for our decisions. The law says it happens when we turn 18, at the latest. For you (or anyone) to decide when something is "proper and correct" is pretty egotistical and wrong. Your entire response is replete with contradictions; either she's an adult, or she's not
@@siegfriedbraun5447 Written by groomer hands. Kidding aside, legally there's no issue you're right. Isn't that not what grooming is though? You raise someone to be of age to be a sexual partner. There's really no laws against this, good luck to anyone trying to prove anything. I can't really say it's immoral either since arranged marriages are nearly the same thing.
She was 15!!!!!! When he met her!! He knew her as a child! I can’t find it in my heart to see this man as anything but a predator. My heart breaks for this young woman. Sickening
@@nahbruh139 🤦 learn your laws pedo 16 is only up to a certain age a 16 year old can only be with someone 4 or less years older than her only at 18 is when any age gap is legal not acceptable but leagal
@chaboi7 you're sick.. you can tell by that call she has issues ... she sounds 17... either way that man is twice her age !! Followed her around and who know what else she's not saying...she's trying really hard to make him look good but Dr right she needs to go to therapy.
Showed up at her apartment? Multiple times “bumped into her”, knew her since she was 15? Red flags all across the board. Borderline predatory behavior. Praying she gets help and finds her worth in Jesus.
@@areyouseriousholmes 100% agree. Also wonder if he is trying to get revenge on her mother, his ex. Sounds like he ego wanted mother to chose him over baby by having abortion, she did have abortion but dropped him too. This young lady might very well find herself in the same situation with an unwanted pregnancy.
I can't listen to her and make my brain believe she's a grown woman. The idea of sex with her seems pedophilic, and I'm 38. I'm disgusted by the idea a 50something year old man could bring himself to do that.
She's desperately looking for belonging. She hasn't found it in college, or with her family. This is so sad. He was her quick fix. She deserves more. She's better off alone than with him but she doesn't know it.
If she continue to waste away her life on him she will learn hard way. He will use her as his old age diaper changer, already mentioned "health problems" and possibly he will baby trap her to make her less desirable for other men while he is alive and after when she will be single mother. Most single old men who go for much younger women are predators and exploiters.
Everyone told my mum that she was dysfunctional for not dating after my dad left. She never dated again and she was 40. Brought both of us up alone. Everyone said she was showing a poor example of what healthy sexuality meant. I am so grateful for her because my brother and I haven’t had to deal with any of this toxic crap and we love her so much
@@Celisar1 and why would that be? Because you think mothers should risk bringing these freaks into a home with children? The stats prove that mothers should ABSOLUTELY do this.
The biggest thing that creeped me out is that he asked her to come to a function, she said no, and then he shows up at her apartment?! Wtf?! I'm a bit disappointed that John didn't expand on that point at all.
We're obviously not getting the full story. He knew where she lived which meant that she invited him over previously. She is playing like she has no responsibility in this situation.
@@daltonbrasier5491maybe, maybe not. I wish John went after more info. Regardless though, if she said "no" that should have been the end of it. Even if she did give her address or have him over before she said "no" that should be that last word.
She is literally dating the "Father" of her deceased sibling 🤦🏽♀🤷🏽♀how is this not clicking for her???? Broken families create broken children who grow up to continue the cycle...long sigh.
People who stay together "for the kids" end up doing just as much damage. One time, my parents had a fight and didn't speak to each other for 2 years - while living in the same house. Us 4 girls watched this for 2 years thinking this was normal behaviour. When the relationship is over, admit it and leave. Don't hang around and poison the house with anger and contempt
@@CyeOutsider - Im so sorry this happened to you and your sisters. “At least he didn’t abandon us.” Us five sisters share a lot of trauma. When it was my turn, I knew exactly what to do. It’s not easy either way, but healthier seems a better measurement and lesson to teach my own children.
@@CyeOutsiderexactly! Studies have shown that children growing up in toxic homes are worse off than kids from a broken home. Adult children also say they wish their parents split up when things started going downhill in their relationship, than "staying together for the kids" for the same reason.
A man willing to put a very vulnerable young woman through the pain of this kind of secrecy and shame sounds like an incredibly self-absorbed and questionable character to me.
Extremely selfish and a user. Predatory because he clocked the vulnerability, got her isolated, and was persistent in grooming her. Personally, I know it's technically legal as everyone is a consenting adult, but if your in the working adult world (no more college), dating anyone under the age of 25 is questionable to me and major red flag behavior.
Especially after he did it to her own mother and must be flooded with memories of the mother and abortion when he is trying to relive his "youth* with the daughter.
SHE also knows what she is doing. Some people are actually victimized in this world. People who make bad choices get bad outcomes. That is the way it has always been and always will be
I had my mom's friend's husband contact me on FB when I was around 29 and was still completely grossed out. He wanted to see where "life had taken me" I read the message, told my mother, and blocked and deleted the pervert. This man is repulsive!
This is not outlandish. She is a young lady who is probably attention starved from her father and is projecting. This man, however, is definitely taking advantage of a vulnerable young woman and should be ashamed.
Just think of the positive influence this man could have had on her life if he wanted to. Instead of grooming her he could have been a father figure to her and taught her to love and respect herself and help her grow into a confidant young woman. Like a father daughter relationship.
If this man is taking advantage of this vulnerable young woman why would it not be considered outlandish?I do see how it could happen if she was searching for a father figure but that does not make it right. There are many men in the world without "recycling" family and friends ex.
There both nasty . She’s not a child. Why are we so quick to blame man and not hold women accountable. He doesn’t owe loyalty to the ex , she does . That’s her mother ! 🤢
What's disgusting is there are grown adults who think "legal" adults can't be groomed. My ex wife cheated and destroyed our family to pursue a 19 year old teenager she was 36. Just disgusting. Our son is with me 100% of the time and no longer speaks to her. This was 2 years ago.
A 19 year old was definitely groomed by your 36 yo ex. The brain isn't fully developed until 25. Your easy to manipulate when you're young. Thats why predators love 18 year olds.
So sorry Jake that this happened to you. Good riddance though Jake. Your ex sounds like someone with no moral compass, cruel and has no good judgment. Glad that you have good relationship with your son. Be a strong, kind and positive role model for him. There are intelligent, compassionate and loyal women out there in the world. I hope this one experience doesn’t destroy faith and hopes for you or your child. When they can turn you bitter, they win. Don’t let them. ❤
She sounds very immature but moreover you can hear she's weak minded, he absolutely saw that weakness and gnawed at it...this is sick. This girl needs help with self esteem
it seems less like immaturity and closer to some form of developmental disability. I knew of someone similar, and it heavily impeded her normal processing ability. Plus this girl mentioned things about struggling in school, difficulty being on her own, etc. she most likely needs help.
He only dated the mother to get at her child, and he’s definitely a predator. Why would an old man date a younger woman if he forced her mother to have an abortion and claims he wants no children? Young girls want children. He’s a monster.
She sounds extremely immature and the guy tricked her with suave & deceit. He knows that she is MUCH less likely to share her story with anyone because he dated the Mom. Manipulation at it's worst. Very sad.
She's a grown adult so she needs to accept her part of the responsibility in their relationship. It takes two to tango. The fault is not all his. She decided to be with him, she wasn't forced into the relationship, she could've end it at anytime if she wanted to.
1. He's been grooming her since 15. I imagine this relationship started then. 2. He managed to trauma bond her so well that she lost loyalty to her mother. 3. He, and maybe even she, get aroused by the taboo nature of the affair. 4. She most likely won't be leaving or ending things with him anytime soon. 5. He insists on keeping the "relationship" private and pretends it's because he doesn't want to "hurt" others like, her mom. 6. She sounds VERY immature. She is stuck at 15, when the abuse actually started. She's learned to lie to protect him.
First of she said she was close with her mom, but she only meet him three times. I barely had anything about her dad so I doubt she grew up with her dad. Too many inconsistencies in her stories, so it more than likely the relationship started when she was younger.
So this fifty something old guy plucked one of his ex’s daughters and to top it off took her virginity? Did I hear that correctly???? This fifty something year old also does not love her. He loves the idea of her being with him. This is very sad.
@@sagepirotess6312 you didn't know her as a child or been with her mom. This guy probably knew her lack of a father figure/social life and exploited that to get with a girl that doesn't know any better/has been listing over since she was a minor
It's so sad that her first intimate relationship is with someone who doesn't give a crap about her. That just breaks my heart, and anyone can be manipulated and taken advantage of and shame on that man for taking advantage of her and using her kind soul to feel bad for him and to become closer to him just so he can have his fun. I hate to see people go through this, we all deserve to be truly loved for who we are inside and out and to not be taken advantage of or used.
I had the same at 24, first ‘boyfriend’, I was so naive, he chased me for months, finally convinced me give him a chance, that he’d be a great boyfriend. I eventually slept with him and from that point on he treated me like absolute garbage and even said it was ‘his thing’ to convince virgins to give it up 😢🤬 I hope he dies early and incredibly painfully with no one around him. That experience had a knock-on effect for every subsequent relationship. I’m single and have been for years now which I’m fine with but man I wish I’d had just the smallest amount of self-worth back then in order to feel strong enough to say no. No one ever talks about how ruthless, cruel and manipulative some men can be with women but they are always quick to blame the woman for falling for it.
@@4JaayTvJesus is coming back. Believe He died for your sins and rose again then repent to be saved.For it is written, As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to Me, and every tongue shall confess to God [acknowledge Him to His honor and to His praise].😊❤
He was vile for telling her that her mother had an abortion. That was not his place to tell her. This girl has no intention of leaving him. She just wants to know if or how she should tell her mother.
I'm in my forties also and there's no way I could date a twenty something year old. Twenty something year olds seem like children to me. I'm old enough to be their mom. So I definitely couldn't bump into someone who used to be my step child and feel attraction. That's super creepy! SUPER CREEPY!
I agree with you. I'm 44. Although my husband is 43 and I just found out he is having an affair with a 23 year old employee. I have no idea how that is even appealing.
@@melsmith3662 oh my goodness!! I'm so sorry! I feel sick to my stomach about that and I don't even know you. It's just I know what kind of pain you must feel. Prayers for your strength, healing and courage to make it through this!
I see myself in this young girl. I had a lot of shamed due to repressed memories of sexual abuse. And I grew up not feeling good about myself and got involved with some bad guys. I feel freed from my past as I get older. So it’s a long journey but it’s worth it. I’m praying for her healing.
The man is a manipulator. If he loved her, he wouldn't be manipulating her. She needs to see that this is a man who is committed to himself only. Otherwise, she would have a little brother or a little sister. Manipulators DO NOT love the person that they are using. My best to Annaliese.
She's sleeping with a stalker who previously got her Mom pregnant & is so delusional to the dangerous situation she is in that all she is worried about is how to go public with her love. Maybe she should so more people can talk her out of this but maybe then she would cut them off. Scary!
Red flags EVERYWHERE!!! I hope this girl gets the courage to break up with him even though she might not understand the red flags yet. This is dangerous territory. I also hope she tells her mom despite the shame it might bring so she has support and protection.
This guy knew what he was going to do as soon as he saw her. I feel like he could be a groomer in this situation. She is obviously below average when it comes to maturity issues and she needs counseling and get out of this relationship before she gets hurt or pregnant. Terrible how a young lady like this feels her only chance at love is a 50 something old guy who dated her mother.
This is sad. Young lady, respect your mom. What goes around comes around. Your mom comes first, and this man is taking advantage of you. Take care of your life my dear ❤. I am glad you are seeking help.
Annalise needs to respect HERSELF FIRST. She has so little connection to reality. She might already believe she’s too worthless to get any man so she’s gonna keep this very wrong man. She doesn’t owe her mom respect until Annalise gets the respect of herself that mom was seemingly teaching her was wrong. Men first. Self later. Not healthy for anyone!
I know she’s 23 and the guy did take advantage. But I think she should hold some responsibility for betraying her mom like that. It’s not like she fell in love with him without knowing they dated. She knows her mom had a possibly traumatic experience with the man. You chose who you allow yourself to get close to. She could have never saw him again but she engaged in it.
Her mother is the one that brought this creep into her life. He clearly had his eye one her the whole time he was with the Mom. That's how these guys work,
I would agree if it weren't for her saying no and him showing up at her apartment and continuing to insist. She is a vulnerable person based on the college struggles she described. She's the victim of a stalker. She does not love him. She thinks she does because she was a virgin. Women are psychologically bonded to the first person they have sex with. That's not love, it's more like Stockholm syndrome.
Goodness Annalise, I pray you come to know your worth. This was me at 18 dating a (what I found out to be) married 36 year old. This is naivety mixed with grooming and manipulation at it's best. It's good you recognize this is wrong. Next step is valuing yourself higher than flattery. ❤
That's how us men are. We love going for the 16-18 year olds because thats when they are their most obedient. That's also when they are their most youthful and fertile. All is fair in love and war!
@@chuckgamble5696 Oh no, the sooner you get to them the better. You begin the grooming process at 16, and you consummate the relationship at 17-18, once it’s legal. Every man knows this.
@@sehoujay that's literally what pee doughs do, groom em when it's illegal then hit it when it's legal.... You're absolutely disgusting and if you said that around many dudes I know, you'd be in the ICU
This situation is creepy, but saying you’re an average girl is fair, considering most girls are average. If anything that’s extremely self aware of her considering most girl think they are way more attractive than they actually are.
"And his silver, thinning hair just caught your attention?" 😂😂So glad they added Dr. John to the show!!! And I am with you 100%....I am also in my forties and when I see a 23 year old I think-"I am old enough to be your mother!" 🤦♀️👩👦
He knew how to pull her strings like a puppet. Using his sob story, history with her mom and her insecurity to reel her in was so predictable. Whaf a jerk!
Obviously with this situation the fact that he knew her since she was 15 he knew he was waiting for a few years past 18 before he gets with her. This man pretty much saw her as an easy piece of meat but he knew he had to wait a few years after she became legal before he tried his moves on her. Her mother could disown her even for not knowing the severity of the situation. Not to mention it could cause major major suspicion in the mother's mind of that they do something before she turned 18. The girl is too naive to realize it but the man knows what he's doing
I disagree. Only in the west do they think 10 year difference bad. My wife is 13 younger. And 10 to 20 year age difference is preferred in many parts of asia. You are a product and slave to your culture beliefs, but not globally accepted or practiced.
This is guy IS a Predator. He was told No, and he forced himself into her apartment and life. This makes me sick. She needs to kick him out of her life, and she needs counseling and healing. My heart goes out to her, and God please help her 🙏
Oof. I'm the same age as Dr John and I don't miss being 23, naive, vulnerable, inexperienced, and blind to predators. It's scary being young. Age and wisdom are true blessings.
Honestly, this may be my huge empathetic side of me just talking, but my heart actually aches for her so much because I feel like she’s terrified of the heartbreak to come. It is her first, and we all know firsts hurt real bad, never mind of all men someone like him being her first… just awful on his end. If he cared for her, wouldn’t have he realized how this all affects her and puts her in a horrible situation? She doesn’t deserve that. She’s lost and he’s taking advantage of that :(
@lesliegibbons1364it’s 100% a factor. That her whole reason for calling in. Her mother probably will never trust her again. I know I wouldn’t. Was she preyed on…yes. Is she also an adult…YES
Run, run fast. You know it’s not a good situation, you’re asking for validation on it being wrong, listen to your instincts, run. The guy is a creep. You owe him nothing by walking away and no contact.
When I was very, very young (I'm 65 now), I dated and lived with for a short time a 42 year old boyfriend. He was very good to me and seriously spoke of marriage. One morning I wised up and realized that in 20 years I would be 38 and he would be 62!!!! That revelation caused me to move out and get real. And though I was attracted to older men, fortunately the older I got, the ages in relationships got closer together. I eventually married in my 30's and my husband was 5 years older than me. To Annalise, my recommendation is to run the other direction. One reason is you don't want to end up taking care of an old man while you are still young and vital, and the other reason is it is not cool to be dating an ex of your mom's. Very disrespectful to her and you are disrespecting yourself while you are at it. Being arm candy can be very exciting and wonderful, but you are kidding yourself. It is just short of pedophilia IMHO. I did get into therapy in my mid-20's and my shrink told me I was looking for a father figure and while I didn't agree with him at the time, as I grew older and gained much wisdom, I could admit to myself he was absolutely right. Quit allowing sugar daddies into your life and find someone closer to your age that you can build a life with. I wish you all the best.
Run, girl, run!! I’m also 65, and just months before turning 21 years old, I began a two year relationship with a man nearly 20 years older than me. I was finishing my final year of college, working nearly full-time, but somehow I managed to allow this distraction into my life. While my college friends were at keggers, I was at nightclubs drinking cocktails. Cool! I wasn’t even carded, as I was with this older, sophisticated man. As the relationship continued, he began planning our future together. There were three distinct marriage proposals; however, a ring never materialized. He wanted me to move in with him after college graduation (he lived 50 miles south of me) and secure a job so that I could begin my career and we could start building our life together. He already had a name chosen for a boy that he planned for us to have in the near future, while he was still ‘young enough’ to enjoy having a child. He’d accomplished most of what he wanted in life, but I was only beginning. I should have listened to my intuition. Between my full-time studies and my now full-time job, I still managed to set aside time for him. Yeah, at a year into the relationship, I had finally come to the conclusion that I was his ‘arm candy’. I saw the way other women looked at us when we entered the room. When he would leave my side, other married men would sidle up to me, whisper in my ear that they were available, or simple asked if I intended to leave the event with him, and - if not - I was welcome to leave with them. What the flip!! I was angry, embarrassed, and ashamed. Unknown to him, as I neared graduation, I searched for and secured my dream career job. It was 50 miles further away from my school, putting 100 miles between us. I secured my own apartment, putting a disappointing damper on his plans for our life together. Graduation came and went, still with loads of talk about our future, but no signs of commitment from him. It took 3 months before he decided to visit me at my apartment, which he considered a waste of his time. Here’s the BIG clue about knowing when to pull the plug, and I wish I’d done it earlier than deal with a six-month extrication: When you don’t introduce him to your very trusted friends to simply hang out with the group (go to a movie, out for a drink, maybe dinner as a double date) because you’ve become embarrassed, or you’re feeling controlled, by being in the presence of this guy, it’s time to stop everything. You should be proud of the person you’re with. Break up now. Tell the truth, such as “we’re incompatible”, “I don’t see the future that you’ve mapped out”, “Our age difference has me thinking of a challenging future as we age at different rates”. The guy I was seeing was disrespectful of my accomplishments, often treated me with indifference, especially when I was recuperating from being hit by a car while in a crosswalk (didn’t call or visit for 2 weeks), and accused me of welcoming the advances of other men. I wish I’d had the courage to break up much earlier than two years in.
@@probablynot1368 Thanks for sharing your story. I enjoyed reading it. I trust it is all behind you and you have created a great life. I have to honestly say that all the men I dated and/or lived with were very good to me and I have no negative stories to tell other than the age difference. One guy still sends me a birthday email without fail every single year. I enjoy hearing from him. It's a sweet remembrance on his part. I guess when I stop getting them, I'll know he's passed on. It will be bittersweet.
@@9liveslisa Thank you. I moved forward with my life, meeting a wonderful man of my age (three years after the breakup with the older fellow), and moved 1,800 away to build a very happy life together. Fast forward another 18 years and my mother calls to tell me he’d died. I contacted his family to give my condolences, only to be met with accusations of ruining his life (no, I took nothing from him, nor asked him for anything), and thus was responsible for his suicide! What? That’s how I discovered he’d written two suicide notes, one to his sister and one to his octogenarian parents, shot himself in his head, and told them where they could find his body. I had neither seen nor heard from him in 21 years, so this came as a surprise. Useless to argue or defend myself to someone in such grief and disbelief. I was simply the first woman in his entire dating life that had been the one to break up with him before he had a chance to end the relationship. His family had often told me that they hoped he was turning over a new page and growing up during our relationship. At 23 years of age, I came to the conclusion that he was a man-child. His suicide was difficult for his family, as he told them he couldn’t face growing older without having a woman by his side.
I lowkey feel bad for her. I can hear insecurities in her speech patterns and while she knows she’s doing wrong, I can bet that her dating an older guys is her way of denying those insecurities. Most Men her age don’t want nothing more than a hookup but sadly that’s all this older guy wants too, he probably just has more money to present that cold fact easier. But how could she possibly lose her virginity to man whom got her mom pregnant and didn’t even want the baby. That should tell her that she’s screwed if she gets pregnant. Damn. I hate that we as women can be so emotionally driven that we can’t even see the fire behind the smoke
That is a great comment. I, as a father, put alot of blame on her dad. A dad protects his daughter throughout her life - no matter what. If you get a flat tire you call me. If you ever need a ride at 2 am I am there. I will be the first to bail you out of jail (once). And I will be the last one in the world to let anything bad happen to my daughter. And me and her mom are not together but it doesn't matter because we are still a team.
@@pimaggot Couldn't agree more. My dad changed my life when he told me, "You are worth being happy." It's such a simple thing but changed my entire perception of myself, and that's a dad's job for his daughter.
So...he broke up with her Mom when this young lady turned 18. I think he had his heart set on her then. This whole situation will ruin the Mother- Daughter relationship. SMH.
People could save themselves so much trouble if they would just not have sex outside of marriage. It would avoid most of the issues discussed on this show. Too many people have accepted the cultural position that it's ok as long as you're "ready." That's too subjective. There needs to be the objective reality of marriage to make it properly ordered. John needs to address the fact that it's morally wrong. People need to flee from sexual immorality just like the Bible says. It's very destructive.
My initial thought was that she wasn't very smart but as the call went on I felt really bad for her. She got taken for a ride and was very heavily manipulated. This guy is awful. I hope she gets the help she needs.
23 y/o is not a 15 or 16 y/o she knows right from wrong, there is something she is leaving out in the conversation. She did not have to tell him where she is living or even give out her number. I strongly think she started linking with him for money and what he could buy her; but now she is feeling guilty and ashamed and do not want to take responsibility for her own actions
This makes me wonder if the caller has daddy issues. A lot of times when girls grow up without a father they tend to be attracted to older men. I truly pray that she decides to leave the relationship and talk to your mom about it afterwards.
why is it an automatic assumption that she has daddy issues? maybe she just likes older men. what’s the big deal? she’s an adult and can date and see whoever she wants. This particular situation isn’t good because he’s known her since she was 15. either way the point is, if it wasn’t a man who dated her mother and has known her since she was 15 it wouldn’t be an issue because she’s an adult
Infuriating. Predator identified his prey and then exploited her. Makes me sick that he was her first sexual relationship, knowing exactly how that would bind her to him emotionally. What an asshole!!! Hope she has found an amazing therapist to help her see all the red flags and that she’s worth so much more.
I'm not even done with the episode yet, but did anyone else notice that Dr. Deloney just happened sing an R. KELLY song TWICE during this call? So fitting! 😂
Y'all only talking about him grooming her, he's been stalking her too. It was not coincidence that he bumped into her at the function,, showed up at her appartment unanounced and kept popping up here and there just when she happened to be around. My guess is that he lusted after her when he was still with her mum then stalked her after leaving. He waited for her to reach legal age then pounced!! The tought of him makes me sick.
I’d like John to stop the noisy judgements early on in the phone calls. He needs to wait until he knows more. This girl’s story is a good example, she’s been groomed by a predator and she’s very naive. She needed a listener to start with, not a bunch of judgements.
I felt the same as someone who has suffered abuse and grooming at a young age. She needed a listening ear and needed advice. She got advice only after she first heard someone who kept making jokes out of her situation for the audience..
I dated a guy who was almost 50 when I was 30. They really don’t have any serious thoughts about you. Just taking advantage of you when he can for how long he can. Get out! (I found a great man months after getting out, and we are now happily married.)
He's not doing anything she isn't allowing. I think she is either extremely manipulative, or knows so little about life that she should be under the supervision and care of her mother.
An age gap that wide will always have a distorted power dynamic. Everything else about it, especially him knowing her at 15 makes it even worse, but she is a grown woman in her 20’s, she cannot 100% put this on him, she has to take some responsibility for her actions.
When I was 6 years old my mother had a boyfriend. They dated for about 8 years. They broke up when he migrated to this country. My sister and I liked him very much and wished he was our father. So went I came to this country I searched for him on facebook. He lives in Florida with a wife and two adult children. We talked everyday on the phone. I love him as a father figure. One day he just said he was having feelings for me and wants me to be his girlfriend. I told him NO. I can never ever betrayed my mother by sleeping with her ex man. That he can never see the mother nakedness and also the daughter nakedness. He said she didn't have to know. I never told my mom and he never mention it again. Have some respect for your self and others will also respect you.
The 50 year old dating his ex-girlfriend’s daughter is a predator! He didn’t respect her boundary and showed up at her apartment and convinced her to do something she wasn’t comfortable with. He manipulated her and got his emotional hooks in her. Offer her free counseling please!
If you are reading these comments Annalise, ignore the shaming. We all screw up. Especially when we are desperate to be loved. We are so vulnerable in that state. You are stronger than you know.
This gave me anxiety. I can’t believe this guy. I hope she can seek counseling she had so much to say with so little time. I always can tell if someone talks like that they just need someone to talk to. My heart goes out to her
Stupid people that will always make stupid mistakes aren’t ‘kids’. That’s really downgrading the severity of their bad decisions. Clearly the mom makes bad decisions too. I know people that never made a decent decision in their life. You can’t just call them kids because of that. 23 is NOT young! People are perfectly capable of understanding what is wrong and right. She’s not innocent
What are you taking about? We are all learning everyday. She has no business going there. She is in for the financial help. That is nasty. What if she gets pregnant? Is she going to have an abortion like the mom.
@@JamesJohnson-nc7ih you cannot convince me that any relationship that involved one party meeting the other AS A CHILD, doesn’t include some form of grooming.
Dear God he coerced the mother into an abortion and now she’s sleeping with her other adult child?!!! Am I hearing this right ??? Her sibling is dead in part due to this dude. What is going on here ? This is bad.
I’m 25 and this girl talks like she’s at least 6 years younger than me. She may be 23 but she’s socially stunted to where she’s more like a kid who just graduated high school
He has no empathy, no remorse, completely shameless, self centered, manipulative dude! He is using her and getting back at his ex!!!!!! This is sick. She is young and naive. He stalked her and hunted her down. I hope she blocks him. He is making her feel sorry for him and responsible for his sadness. End this please for your own good. This guy is a 🐍 snake! Who would date his ex’s child?!?!?!?! 🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍
He showed up *at her apartment* after she refused to go somewhere with him?! Girl. RUN.
And she didn’t call the police immediately like she should’ve… for me this call all comes down to this:
she was attracted to him (this explains why she didn’t call the police on him when he showed up to her apartment) if he was not physically attractive to her she would have called the police
The main question of this call: the big mystery is: why is she attracted to him
There are 2 ways for her attraction to him
1. He sexually abused/groomed her when she was 15 and he was dating her Mom
2. She just finds him attractive naturally without any grooming etc
Based on the evidence we have from the call I think there was grooming going on but we don’t have 100% proof
I had to edit the comment cuz i forgot One more thing
Since he took her virginity she is attached to him now, and he sexually imprinted her, which is why she is saying she can’t leave and that she loves him and that he is her world
@@tjmcavoy-jensen871 That's what concerns me - he showed up after she gave a clear no to going out with him, and she told nobody?? She wasn't alarmed that he found her location so easily?? She didn't want to move?? It does appear that we're missing part of the story like you said. She said that he only met her 3 times when he was dating her mom, but I wonder if he was keeping tabs on her somehow - maybe through social media or something?
ETA: As for why she's attracted to him, she mentions being average and feeling insecure and not making friends at her first school. I definitely understand that, and felt it especially hard in college when everyone was hooking up. It can be great to feel like you finally have someone's attention. It's probably validating to have such a "mature" man be so attracted to her, want to spend time with her, invest in her, "need" her because he's so lonely etc.
@@theshunnedBandersnatch yeah he had to have stalked her through social media, glad to hear your perspective from a different spectrum on the attraction part, im on the other perspective as you cuz I’m a 22 year old male. I agree with you, because she feels like he is the best she can do for long term relationship because tbh young men like my age don’t really want to commit and add that to the fact that she has Low self image so she is taking the first man she can get aka settling because she is also thinking very emotionally cuz of all her mental issues. I also don’t think she will leave him anytime soon, poor girl is in a mess
This man knows what game to play and use on a woman that is yearning to be loved and craving attention from a man. He is a predator and manipulator. By him getting the mother pregnant and walking away
without remorse or not having a conscience, tells what kind of a man he is. Single mothers, be careful who you bring into your home! I'm sure if he would have married her mother, he still would have gone after the daughter. As the saying goes, " many wolves in sheep's clothing".There ARE good men out there but you have to be patient and wait for the right man before getting involved with just any man that gives you attention.
@@nmedina7978 YES to all of this 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
“I said no and then he just showed up” “We kept bumping into each other” 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Wish she would have called the police for him to get the h... out and to leave her alone 😔
Like Mike Birbiglia once said, "We kept running into each other, cause I was following her"
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
He probably stalked her for a while
She's clearly a vulnerable adult. Easily manipulated
I can’t imagine having sex with someone my MOM had sex with. Its quite disgusting and even shameful
i have a buddy that has banged 2 mother daughter combos, one at the same time
ME also! I had the same thought - it feels like incest
She never mentions her father. Go figure. The behavior you describe is for girls who grew up without a father.
My thoughts too
She says she feels guilty but keeps doing it! It's been a whole year!! Throw them both all the way out 🤮
Men…if you have daughters…THIS is why it’s important to be a strong and positive influence in their lives!!!
Men ... Whatever your reproductive history ... THIS is why it's important you don't be a predator, just ever. Just back off.
EXACTLY
She's 23. Shady and I don't know what he would have in common with her, but if the roles were reversed I feel like a lot of women would be cheering her on. Still screwed up though
Tell feminists to stop with the man hatred and single motherhood promotion
Men if you have sons THIS is why its important to be a strong and positive influence in their lives!! So they don't become groomers and pure filth.
- He’s known her since she was 15
- Parents for a divorce
- First serious relationship
- Struggled making friends & succeeding in college
- First guy she slept with
- Deep insecurity issues
Yeaa she’s obviously in a very vulnerable situation. Her life feels chaotic & so of course she’s going to attach herself to the person who brings her “peace” even if it’s her mom’s ex
Yoube worded this the best in these comments. Too many ppl making fun of her when it’s obv that she has deep rooted issues not just with the divorce
Don't forget the 20# weight gain
He takes advantage of her 😔
Not cool
Yeah, he showed up to her apartment after she declined his request to go out with him... RED FLAG.
@@noellebatista3896 The bigger question is how’d he find out where she lived.
"I don't want you to do anything you're not comfortable with." From the guy who shows up at her apartment when she says no. Never heard of a better example of actions, not words.
Women, if you have kids in your home, please be very very careful in the men you date. It is way more common than you imagine they date mothers to prey on your kids.
My favorite podcast are a man who dates mother then claims her daughters. Usually he is killed or jail. But women so gullible and desperate its funny.
Single mothers are the world's greatest source of crime. If you have kids, you shouldn't be dating.
@@sagepirotess6312 It's funny to you that some people use others to pray upon vulnerable people? I will pray for you, because you definitely need it.
@@slothisasin8240 I not the society that treats all women with no accountability, princesses and can do no wrong. Pray for me if you like. I had more women globally than 101 dalmatians. Women are just puppets to use.
Don't date if you have children in the home. No matter how nice.. they seem
Anyone who dated the mother, who insisted she kill his baby, and who stalks the daughter at home until she says "yes" isn't exactly husband material. If anything, he's earned a restraining order.
At 23 years old it’s odd to me that she wants her moms sloppy seconds
That is also on the Mother, she ultimately decided to kill the baby that was growing inside of her.
Exactly my thought, if a boy/man her age had shown up at her apartment like that would alarm bells have gone off? Not many men get to “score” an innocent young woman when they are in their fifties. I expect she added a couple of years to hers and subtracted a couple on his too.
@joanarc7963 people are stupid and absent good judgement.
@@traceejohnson290not a baby if it was never born
This sorta happen to me. My mom’s ex kept running into me and one day he showed up at a appt I had. He had the audacity to tell me how bad of a gf my mom had been and he thought to himself, “I should have dated the daughter.” Right then and there I told him to fck off and to get the fck away from me. I called both of my parents and told them. My dad ran into him and told him I don’t care if you date my ex but I do care if you bother any of my daughters. Along with some lovely threats. This guy never bothered me again. This is extremely predatory behavior. Dad’s teach your daughter’s their self worth and mom’s be careful who you allow in your life as well as your kids. I realize this video is from a year ago and I hope Annalise cut this guy off from her entire world.
This comment is underrated. Thanks for sharing.
Powerful 🔥
Having a strong father in kids lives is what's needed to stop predators from getting to these kids lives!
Good that you told your parents! You have a great dad that protected you.
Amen
The difference between you and this young lady in the video is that you have a great dad who knows how to do his job
Dating someone twice your age who got your mom pregnant and walked out?? 🤮🤮🤮
He is taking advantage of this girl. Good advice, John.
Hold on so she is her half sisters step mother ?
She is a grown adult capable of making her own decisions. Men at 18 are forced to register for war but this poor girl can't consent at 23 years old according to most women. This is insane the amount of females taking up for her. She called this show and explained her situation knowing how it would look to everyone listening and yet there are so many people taking her side. She knew this guy was 28 years older than her, dated her mom and knocked her up and would not take responsibility for said child. How are both legal adults not responsible for this situation?
@@unnamedchannel1237 She didn't mention that her mom actually had the baby, so I don't know.
@@noregertsyamsayin8011 He's taking advantage of the fact that she's emotionally vulnerable right now, and has never been with a man before and doesn't know what signs to look out for. If she was thinking clearly, she wouldn't be with this creep. Age gap doesn't bother me, it's his whole situation.
@@noregertsyamsayin8011 I agree
I’m revolted that this man took her virginity. That part broke my heart.
She betrayed her mother
@@jzwalz51robin45Sure did. Yikes
Exactly… this girl is dirt. So desperate that she did this and KNEW she was wrong.
@@themacandcheese2240she clearly has low self esteem.
@@jzwalz51robin45the fact that her mother told her the reason for the break up and she still went there. What if she gets pregnant?
No way he was in her mom's life for 3 years and she only saw him 3 times. This man knows exactly what he's doing. He was watching her when he was dating mom.
Mom couldve been smart n not bring her kids around à New man often. If so shes a good mom
@@murdahmammiezwhich makes it even worse that she is about to get this absolute bomb dropped on her. ☹️☹️
100%
@@murdahmammiez I would not allow any male I dated to see my kids. NO NEED. One man got angry at me for doing that. He said he would not date me, unless I introduced my kids to him. Then we didn't. Years later, I figured I 'saved' my kids from a predator. No need for kids to meet a bunch of males, till maybe, it was a connection. Marriage minded.
@@littleme3597that’s WILD to get angry that you wouldn’t introduce each other. Oof, that immediately didn’t feel right. Good on you 💜
She’s one night from officially ruining her life by having a child with him. So many awful decisions!!!
Yup. Sad.
And I’m sure he won’t tell her to kill her child
She may already be pregnant. 😢
He would most likely try to guilt her into an abortion, leave her if she refuses to have one, leave her if she does have an abortion (her mother obviously had an abortion)
As a daughter of divorced parents, also in my early 20’s this call got me HEATED. I really hope she gets OUT NOW. This guy is absolutely a predator and groomer in my eyes. Truly revolting behavior to take advantage of her like this.
Definite groomer vibes.
"...groomer" for *what*, exactly? While I can (and do) object to his advances, she is completely capable of making her own choices. SHE IS AN ADULT!!! I can definitely hear this ADULT person playing. She is aware of what she's doing and is, nevertheless, doing what she know is wrong. Stop excusing her.
@9INE PLANETS Groomers work on children, not adults. Since she has the capacity to know and to DO something about the relationship (i.e she's an ADULT) she's nobody's victim.
She likely feels flattered that someone who merited her mom's attention, now is attentive to her.
Tell me this; how do you KNOW, that he's been "...after her..."? This sounds like some kind of projection, on your part.
Is he selfish? Yup. Is he egotistical? You bet! Is he lacking in morals and character? Absolutely! But a groomer? Where do *you* draw the line; when the "victim" is 30? 50? 100? At some point, we HAVE to be responsible for our decisions. The law says it happens when we turn 18, at the latest.
For you (or anyone) to decide when something is "proper and correct" is pretty egotistical and wrong. Your entire response is replete with contradictions; either she's an adult, or she's not
@@siegfriedbraun5447 Written by groomer hands.
Kidding aside, legally there's no issue you're right. Isn't that not what grooming is though? You raise someone to be of age to be a sexual partner.
There's really no laws against this, good luck to anyone trying to prove anything. I can't really say it's immoral either since arranged marriages are nearly the same thing.
You are right. I hope she end it now
She was 15!!!!!! When he met her!! He knew her as a child! I can’t find it in my heart to see this man as anything but a predator. My heart breaks for this young woman. Sickening
then youre really gonna hate hearing this, 16 is the legal age of consent in many parts of the world
@@nahbruh139 🤦 learn your laws pedo 16 is only up to a certain age a 16 year old can only be with someone 4 or less years older than her only at 18 is when any age gap is legal not acceptable but leagal
@@nahbruh139 you’re gonna hate hearing this, but just because it is technically legal, doesn’t mean it is moral.
@@doireallyhavetoask like abortion?
@@nahbruh139 yeah dude. Kind of like that
"He showed up to my apartment and convinced me to go with him..." MAJOR RED FLAGS!
More red flags than in the red flag factory.
True but she's an adult and agreed to it, can't say she isn't at fault also, she's got to be as disgusting as him to have sex with him
@@chaboi7 Exactly 💯
@chaboi7 you're sick.. you can tell by that call she has issues ... she sounds 17... either way that man is twice her age !! Followed her around and who know what else she's not saying...she's trying really hard to make him look good but Dr right she needs to go to therapy.
@@thebiasedkpoper No she's fine
Showed up at her apartment? Multiple times “bumped into her”, knew her since she was 15?
Red flags all across the board. Borderline predatory behavior. Praying she gets help and finds her worth in Jesus.
Yea he was probably following her and knew where she would be and followed her. He probably wanted her when she was 15.
@@areyouseriousholmes 100% agree. Also wonder if he is trying to get revenge on her mother, his ex. Sounds like he ego wanted mother to chose him over baby by having abortion, she did have abortion but dropped him too. This young lady might very well find herself in the same situation with an unwanted pregnancy.
Amen. She needs Jesus
We just don’t know that detail. It’s very likely she told him where she lived and is saying he “showed up” unplanned BUT she did tell him her address
It’s 100% grooming and predatory
She doesn’t sounds like a typical 23 year old more like age 14. He took complete advantage of her innocence.
Exactly! She sounds like a literal child.
I can't listen to her and make my brain believe she's a grown woman. The idea of sex with her seems pedophilic, and I'm 38. I'm disgusted by the idea a 50something year old man could bring himself to do that.
She is just as guilty. Stop making excuses for her. They both are fucked up
When you said "no" and he showed up anyway, was a COMPLETE lack of respect of your boundaries.
Exactly 👍
He knew he can get away with that.
i doubt it
She's desperately looking for belonging. She hasn't found it in college, or with her family. This is so sad. He was her quick fix. She deserves more. She's better off alone than with him but she doesn't know it.
Agreed
She sounds like she’s on the spectrum
If she continue to waste away her life on him she will learn hard way. He will use her as his old age diaper changer, already mentioned "health problems" and possibly he will baby trap her to make her less desirable for other men while he is alive and after when she will be single mother. Most single old men who go for much younger women are predators and exploiters.
Everyone told my mum that she was dysfunctional for not dating after my dad left. She never dated again and she was 40. Brought both of us up alone. Everyone said she was showing a poor example of what healthy sexuality meant. I am so grateful for her because my brother and I haven’t had to deal with any of this toxic crap and we love her so much
Such an intelligent comment .
@@josiedickson6959 there’s no need to be rude
I'm the same. If my husband died that's it until my kids grow up, I don't need to bother with another man until both my kids are in college
It’s OK if it worked out for her, but I would not take this as a general recommendation for mothers!
@@Celisar1 and why would that be? Because you think mothers should risk bringing these freaks into a home with children? The stats prove that mothers should ABSOLUTELY do this.
The biggest thing that creeped me out is that he asked her to come to a function, she said no, and then he shows up at her apartment?! Wtf?! I'm a bit disappointed that John didn't expand on that point at all.
We're obviously not getting the full story. He knew where she lived which meant that she invited him over previously. She is playing like she has no responsibility in this situation.
He playing the game
@@daltonbrasier5491 that or her address could easily be found online, many are.
I agree, that's super creepy.
@@daltonbrasier5491maybe, maybe not. I wish John went after more info. Regardless though, if she said "no" that should have been the end of it. Even if she did give her address or have him over before she said "no" that should be that last word.
I’m an architect and “buildings are my babies” is the dumbest thing I’ve heard in my life!
LMAO 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
That's a great line
Yeah, it's a cop-out, piss poor excuse of a weak childman.
You're a deadbeat building dad!! Abandoning your children after they're built!!
Screams nutjob doesn't it?
This poor girl needs some straight talk without sugar coating. Thank you Dr. Delony.
She is literally dating the "Father" of her deceased sibling 🤦🏽♀🤷🏽♀how is this not clicking for her???? Broken families create broken children who grow up to continue the cycle...long sigh.
It’s not like dating her father. This is like dating the pedo neighbor next door.
People who stay together "for the kids" end up doing just as much damage.
One time, my parents had a fight and didn't speak to each other for 2 years - while living in the same house.
Us 4 girls watched this for 2 years thinking this was normal behaviour.
When the relationship is over, admit it and leave. Don't hang around and poison the house with anger and contempt
@@CyeOutsider - Im so sorry this happened to you and your sisters. “At least he didn’t abandon us.” Us five sisters share a lot of trauma. When it was my turn, I knew exactly what to do. It’s not easy either way, but healthier seems a better measurement and lesson to teach my own children.
@@CyeOutsiderexactly! Studies have shown that children growing up in toxic homes are worse off than kids from a broken home. Adult children also say they wish their parents split up when things started going downhill in their relationship, than "staying together for the kids" for the same reason.
I had to come to the comments to confirm I heard that right, that is insane
A man willing to put a very vulnerable young woman through the pain of this kind of secrecy and shame sounds like an incredibly self-absorbed and questionable character to me.
I hate when older guy takes advantage of much much younger women
What a loser
Extremely selfish and a user. Predatory because he clocked the vulnerability, got her isolated, and was persistent in grooming her. Personally, I know it's technically legal as everyone is a consenting adult, but if your in the working adult world (no more college), dating anyone under the age of 25 is questionable to me and major red flag behavior.
more like stalker
Especially after he did it to her own mother and must be flooded with memories of the mother and abortion when he is trying to relive his "youth* with the daughter.
Ya think?
I’m 32 now and trust me at 23 I was a dumbfounded child . HE knows what he is doing .
Same
Same
Yup.
23 is not a child. Words have meaning. You may have been a naive 23 year old ADULT, but you were not a child at that age.
SHE also knows what she is doing. Some people are actually victimized in this world. People who make bad choices get bad outcomes. That is the way it has always been and always will be
The fact he's known her since 15 🤮
Right he was waiting for the time to make the move
I bet mom met him online. These type of men date single moms with kids at home for a reason.
He might be a great guy.
@@ericmaye2757are you kidding me, he was intimate with her MOM. He is like her father. Do you have no morals.
A great guy doesn’t walk away after getting a woman pregnant then turns around and stalks her daughter. I notice it’s men defending this p.o.s.
Girl… please. Listen to what is being said. This man showed up AT YOUR APARTMENT. Run. Very fast. Please.
she probably invited him, how would he know
I had my mom's friend's husband contact me on FB when I was around 29 and was still completely grossed out. He wanted to see where "life had taken me" I read the message, told my mother, and blocked and deleted the pervert. This man is repulsive!
This is not outlandish. She is a young lady who is probably attention starved from her father and is projecting. This man, however, is definitely taking advantage of a vulnerable young woman and should be ashamed.
Just think of the positive influence this man could have had on her life if he wanted to. Instead of grooming her he could have been a father figure to her and taught her to love and respect herself and help her grow into a confidant young woman. Like a father daughter relationship.
If this man is taking advantage of this vulnerable young woman why would it not be considered outlandish?I do see how it could happen if she was searching for a father figure but that does not make it right. There are many men in the world without "recycling" family and friends ex.
There both nasty . She’s not a child. Why are we so quick to blame man and not hold women accountable. He doesn’t owe loyalty to the ex , she does . That’s her mother ! 🤢
They are both adults and both benefiting from the same situation
You understand more than this joker Deloney. Is he really a therapist?
One of my professors had said that if a guy is “really good with your kids” or “he’s so nice to my kids” then you should keep an eye on that
What's disgusting is there are grown adults who think "legal" adults can't be groomed. My ex wife cheated and destroyed our family to pursue a 19 year old teenager she was 36. Just disgusting. Our son is with me 100% of the time and no longer speaks to her. This was 2 years ago.
A 19 year old was definitely groomed by your 36 yo ex. The brain isn't fully developed until 25. Your easy to manipulate when you're young. Thats why predators love 18 year olds.
So sorry Jake that this happened to you. Good riddance though Jake. Your ex sounds like someone with no moral compass, cruel and has no good judgment. Glad that you have good relationship with your son. Be a strong, kind and positive role model for him. There are intelligent, compassionate and loyal women out there in the world.
I hope this one experience doesn’t destroy faith and hopes for you or your child. When they can turn you bitter, they win. Don’t let them. ❤
Thank God your son is with you.
Bro, you need to get a clue and stop being a victim.
Gross.
She sounds very immature but moreover you can hear she's weak minded, he absolutely saw that weakness and gnawed at it...this is sick. This girl needs help with self esteem
This is very sad; Annalise was groomed and victimized without her realizing it.
annalise was probably annalized too.....hopefully she realized that
@@nahbruh139are you making a rape joke?
@@KCDCish 🤣
@@nahbruh139 I'll take that as a yes 😬
@@KCDCishrape jokes is soooo foul
The fact that this girl can't say a sentence without saying the word "LIKE" should say everything about her maturity level.
it seems less like immaturity and closer to some form of developmental disability. I knew of someone similar, and it heavily impeded her normal processing ability. Plus this girl mentioned things about struggling in school, difficulty being on her own, etc. she most likely needs help.
I could and would never… Wow 😮 this guy sounds gross he’s probably had a thing for her since she was 15…
Probably groomed her
Unfortunately was thinking the same thing
Groomer alert
He only dated the mother to get at her child, and he’s definitely a predator. Why would an old man date a younger woman if he forced her mother to have an abortion and claims he wants no children? Young girls want children. He’s a monster.
He probably dated the mom just to be closer to the daughter
She sounds extremely immature and the guy tricked her with suave & deceit. He knows that she is MUCH less likely to share her story with anyone because he dated the Mom. Manipulation at it's worst. Very sad.
She's a grown adult so she needs to accept her part of the responsibility in their relationship. It takes two to tango. The fault is not all his. She decided to be with him, she wasn't forced into the relationship, she could've end it at anytime if she wanted to.
She was a Virgin too
Man's got game. Ain't nothing wrong with that. Also shes a grown woman so it's her decision if she dates him or not.
@@bralex970 got game on a emotionally deranged young woman? If that is game that's sad
@@JustActNormal
If she's emotionally deranged then he's got the shorter end of the stick.
I don’t have a good relationship with my mom but I would NEVER do something like this to her
I agree. A guy that was talking to my mom asked me for my number and I told him absolutely not! It was sickening.
Not only to but, to you as well.
1. He's been grooming her since 15. I imagine this relationship started then.
2. He managed to trauma bond her so well that she lost loyalty to her mother.
3. He, and maybe even she, get aroused by the taboo nature of the affair.
4. She most likely won't be leaving or ending things with him anytime soon.
5. He insists on keeping the "relationship" private and pretends it's because he doesn't want to "hurt" others like, her mom.
6. She sounds VERY immature. She is stuck at 15, when the abuse actually started.
She's learned to lie to protect him.
She barely met the guy three times when he was with her mom. So I think you’re off base there.
I know. I know they want to turn him into a complete monster. That's the whole goal here
Her mom had a pregnancy with this guy. She is dating a man that got her mother pregnant. It’s really off..
@@romans52345-cy3tq He is a monster. He's also a dirt bag.
First of she said she was close with her mom, but she only meet him three times.
I barely had anything about her dad so I doubt she grew up with her dad.
Too many inconsistencies in her stories, so it more than likely the relationship started when she was younger.
So this fifty something old guy plucked one of his ex’s daughters and to top it off took her virginity? Did I hear that correctly???? This fifty something year old also does not love her. He loves the idea of her being with him. This is very sad.
So I was 35 and took a 22 virgins virginity. What's the problem. Oh and we are married. I even waited til marriage.
@@sagepirotess6312 you didn't know her as a child or been with her mom. This guy probably knew her lack of a father figure/social life and exploited that to get with a girl that doesn't know any better/has been listing over since she was a minor
@@JKPrimetime spot on Sir. 👍
He's a playa. Loving that game
And he has no problem helping destroy the relationship between her and the mom. The worst person
I’m so glad this girl called the show, John is out here saving lives!!
It's so sad that her first intimate relationship is with someone who doesn't give a crap about her. That just breaks my heart, and anyone can be manipulated and taken advantage of and shame on that man for taking advantage of her and using her kind soul to feel bad for him and to become closer to him just so he can have his fun. I hate to see people go through this, we all deserve to be truly loved for who we are inside and out and to not be taken advantage of or used.
I had the same at 24, first ‘boyfriend’, I was so naive, he chased me for months, finally convinced me give him a chance, that he’d be a great boyfriend. I eventually slept with him and from that point on he treated me like absolute garbage and even said it was ‘his thing’ to convince virgins to give it up 😢🤬
I hope he dies early and incredibly painfully with no one around him. That experience had a knock-on effect for every subsequent relationship. I’m single and have been for years now which I’m fine with but man I wish I’d had just the smallest amount of self-worth back then in order to feel strong enough to say no. No one ever talks about how ruthless, cruel and manipulative some men can be with women but they are always quick to blame the woman for falling for it.
She doesn't sound like a 23 year-old. She sounds very immature and this is wrong and disgusting. The guy's a creep.
yea, sounds like some 17 year old
@@4JaayTvJesus is coming back. Believe He died for your sins and rose again then repent to be saved.For it is written, As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to Me, and every tongue shall confess to God [acknowledge Him to His honor and to His praise].😊❤
She has the voice of a child, really
@@IloveJesus777j77 I understand the grind, but that was very inappropriate.
She might be a little bit slow motion
He was vile for telling her that her mother had an abortion. That was not his place to tell her. This girl has no intention of leaving him. She just wants to know if or how she should tell her mother.
I'm in my forties also and there's no way I could date a twenty something year old. Twenty something year olds seem like children to me. I'm old enough to be their mom. So I definitely couldn't bump into someone who used to be my step child and feel attraction. That's super creepy! SUPER CREEPY!
I'm 34 and can't see myself with someone under 33!!! Lol like he's just gross 🤢
I agree with you. I'm 44. Although my husband is 43 and I just found out he is having an affair with a 23 year old employee. I have no idea how that is even appealing.
You're a woman. Its the opposite for us men!
That's cuz you're a well adjusted adult and normal. The guy in the video is worthless trash
@@melsmith3662 oh my goodness!! I'm so sorry! I feel sick to my stomach about that and I don't even know you. It's just I know what kind of pain you must feel. Prayers for your strength, healing and courage to make it through this!
The man is an absolute PREDATOR. He’s going to use you as his toy, and toss you aside, when you are looking for a serious relationship
nigga a year is longer than most and i didnt hear one complaint besides what ppl would think
Or when she's pregnant
@@macpduff2119 my comment about younger chicks being predatory toward older men with money got deleted?
I see myself in this young girl. I had a lot of shamed due to repressed memories of sexual abuse. And I grew up not feeling good about myself and got involved with some bad guys. I feel freed from my past as I get older. So it’s a long journey but it’s worth it. I’m praying for her healing.
The man is a manipulator. If he loved her, he wouldn't be manipulating her.
She needs to see that this is a man who is committed to himself only. Otherwise, she would have a little brother or a little sister.
Manipulators DO NOT love the person that they are using.
My best to Annaliese.
You have nailed this tragic situation perfectly!
She's sleeping with a stalker who previously got her Mom pregnant & is so delusional to the dangerous situation she is in that all she is worried about is how to go public with her love. Maybe she should so more people can talk her out of this but maybe then she would cut them off. Scary!
If she went public one of two things would transpire, he would run or cut her off from any outside influences.
He took advantage of her. It's sad. 😢😢 I hope she can get the strength to get free of him
plot twist the got married and are really happy
Red flags EVERYWHERE!!! I hope this girl gets the courage to break up with him even though she might not understand the red flags yet. This is dangerous territory. I also hope she tells her mom despite the shame it might bring so she has support and protection.
This guy knew what he was going to do as soon as he saw her. I feel like he could be a groomer in this situation. She is obviously below average when it comes to maturity issues and she needs counseling and get out of this relationship before she gets hurt or pregnant. Terrible how a young lady like this feels her only chance at love is a 50 something old guy who dated her mother.
This is sad. Young lady, respect your mom. What goes around comes around. Your mom comes first, and this man is taking advantage of you. Take care of your life my dear ❤. I am glad you are seeking help.
Annalise needs to respect HERSELF FIRST. She has so little connection to reality. She might already believe she’s too worthless to get any man so she’s gonna keep this very wrong man. She doesn’t owe her mom respect until Annalise gets the respect of herself that mom was seemingly teaching her was wrong.
Men first. Self later. Not healthy for anyone!
I know she’s 23 and the guy did take advantage. But I think she should hold some responsibility for betraying her mom like that. It’s not like she fell in love with him without knowing they dated. She knows her mom had a possibly traumatic experience with the man. You chose who you allow yourself to get close to. She could have never saw him again but she engaged in it.
I agree 💯
Idk she sounds a little slow to me
Her mother is the one that brought this creep into her life. He clearly had his eye one her the whole time he was with the Mom. That's how these guys work,
I would agree if it weren't for her saying no and him showing up at her apartment and continuing to insist. She is a vulnerable person based on the college struggles she described. She's the victim of a stalker. She does not love him. She thinks she does because she was a virgin. Women are psychologically bonded to the first person they have sex with. That's not love, it's more like Stockholm syndrome.
She’s horrible. I can’t believe the comments are on her side.
Goodness Annalise, I pray you come to know your worth. This was me at 18 dating a (what I found out to be) married 36 year old. This is naivety mixed with grooming and manipulation at it's best. It's good you recognize this is wrong. Next step is valuing yourself higher than flattery. ❤
That's how us men are. We love going for the 16-18 year olds because thats when they are their most obedient. That's also when they are their most youthful and fertile. All is fair in love and war!
@joshua bitz Dude...at least say 18...
@@chuckgamble5696 Oh no, the sooner you get to them the better. You begin the grooming process at 16, and you consummate the relationship at 17-18, once it’s legal. Every man knows this.
@joshua bitz Im married anyways but ima pass on that 🤣. Guess that's why it's the Bride and GROOM.
@@sehoujay that's literally what pee doughs do, groom em when it's illegal then hit it when it's legal....
You're absolutely disgusting and if you said that around many dudes I know, you'd be in the ICU
When she said “average girl” I wanted to cry. She feels bad about herself and this man is making her feel like she’s beautiful 😞😢😢😢😢
ya I agree its a bummer theyve both been making each other happy for a year but are afraid of what people will think
I see myself as average girl honestly, but I would never do or even consider dating a 50 year old man
This situation is creepy, but saying you’re an average girl is fair, considering most girls are average. If anything that’s extremely self aware of her considering most girl think they are way more attractive than they actually are.
Low self esteem
"And his silver, thinning hair just caught your attention?" 😂😂So glad they added Dr. John to the show!!! And I am with you 100%....I am also in my forties and when I see a 23 year old I think-"I am old enough to be your mother!" 🤦♀️👩👦
They have baby fat still on their faces!!! Seriously, they look like grown kids.
I’m 25 and when I see a 23 year old, I’m like, “you’re a baby.”
@@kylaj3602 I'm a 23 year old 😢 but turning 24 this week 😎
I wish he spent less time doing that joking stuff. It will only make the caller feel judged and they might not tell the truth going forward.
As a therapist, if I joked like this within the first five minutes of speaking to a client, they'd probably never come back.
Hearing John (attempt to) sing R. Kelly(twice) made my week
He made me laugh so loud at work 😂
My mind telling me noooo, but my bodyyyyy…: 😂
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Made me feel sick
I was almost choked on my tea!💀☠️💀☠️
He knew how to pull her strings like a puppet. Using his sob story, history with her mom and her insecurity to reel her in was so predictable. Whaf a jerk!
Obviously with this situation the fact that he knew her since she was 15 he knew he was waiting for a few years past 18 before he gets with her. This man pretty much saw her as an easy piece of meat but he knew he had to wait a few years after she became legal before he tried his moves on her. Her mother could disown her even for not knowing the severity of the situation. Not to mention it could cause major major suspicion in the mother's mind of that they do something before she turned 18. The girl is too naive to realize it but the man knows what he's doing
The guys is basically a pedo, her mother should protect her.
Yeah I'm shure he stalked her for 8 years.
I disagree. Only in the west do they think 10 year difference bad. My wife is 13 younger. And 10 to 20 year age difference is preferred in many parts of asia. You are a product and slave to your culture beliefs, but not globally accepted or practiced.
People lie. This started much earlier than she states.
@@sagepirotess6312 Stay in your own country then.
This is guy IS a Predator. He was told No, and he forced himself into her apartment and life. This makes me sick. She needs to kick him out of her life, and she needs counseling and healing. My heart goes out to her, and God please help her 🙏
Does he cloak himself in the jungle too?
Why did she let him in?
@@Avogadros_number Because she is under age of 25 and doesn't know any better
@@romans52345-cy3tq didn’t realize we were infantilizing adults under 25
@@romans52345-cy3tq your honor
Oof. I'm the same age as Dr John and I don't miss being 23, naive, vulnerable, inexperienced, and blind to predators. It's scary being young. Age and wisdom are true blessings.
Honestly, this may be my huge empathetic side of me just talking, but my heart actually aches for her so much because I feel like she’s terrified of the heartbreak to come. It is her first, and we all know firsts hurt real bad, never mind of all men someone like him being her first… just awful on his end. If he cared for her, wouldn’t have he realized how this all affects her and puts her in a horrible situation? She doesn’t deserve that. She’s lost and he’s taking advantage of that :(
End it today, now, asap. Betraying your mom this way is not worth it over a man. Self love first.
Shine A. Absolutely agree. But it's self love first, thennnn LOVE for your mom second. No excuses for this.
@@girlygirl1890 Good. You get the point!
Amen
@lesliegibbons1364 No morals
@lesliegibbons1364it’s 100% a factor. That her whole reason for calling in. Her mother probably will never trust her again. I know I wouldn’t. Was she preyed on…yes. Is she also an adult…YES
Run, run fast. You know it’s not a good situation, you’re asking for validation on it being wrong, listen to your instincts, run. The guy is a creep. You owe him nothing by walking away and no contact.
When I was very, very young (I'm 65 now), I dated and lived with for a short time a 42 year old boyfriend. He was very good to me and seriously spoke of marriage. One morning I wised up and realized that in 20 years I would be 38 and he would be 62!!!! That revelation caused me to move out and get real. And though I was attracted to older men, fortunately the older I got, the ages in relationships got closer together. I eventually married in my 30's and my husband was 5 years older than me. To Annalise, my recommendation is to run the other direction. One reason is you don't want to end up taking care of an old man while you are still young and vital, and the other reason is it is not cool to be dating an ex of your mom's. Very disrespectful to her and you are disrespecting yourself while you are at it. Being arm candy can be very exciting and wonderful, but you are kidding yourself. It is just short of pedophilia IMHO. I did get into therapy in my mid-20's and my shrink told me I was looking for a father figure and while I didn't agree with him at the time, as I grew older and gained much wisdom, I could admit to myself he was absolutely right. Quit allowing sugar daddies into your life and find someone closer to your age that you can build a life with. I wish you all the best.
re: "IMHO" - You label the above as ... In My Humble Opinion?!?
Run, girl, run!! I’m also 65, and just months before turning 21 years old, I began a two year relationship with a man nearly 20 years older than me. I was finishing my final year of college, working nearly full-time, but somehow I managed to allow this distraction into my life. While my college friends were at keggers, I was at nightclubs drinking cocktails. Cool! I wasn’t even carded, as I was with this older, sophisticated man. As the relationship continued, he began planning our future together. There were three distinct marriage proposals; however, a ring never materialized. He wanted me to move in with him after college graduation (he lived 50 miles south of me) and secure a job so that I could begin my career and we could start building our life together. He already had a name chosen for a boy that he planned for us to have in the near future, while he was still ‘young enough’ to enjoy having a child. He’d accomplished most of what he wanted in life, but I was only beginning. I should have listened to my intuition.
Between my full-time studies and my now full-time job, I still managed to set aside time for him. Yeah, at a year into the relationship, I had finally come to the conclusion that I was his ‘arm candy’. I saw the way other women looked at us when we entered the room. When he would leave my side, other married men would sidle up to me, whisper in my ear that they were available, or simple asked if I intended to leave the event with him, and - if not - I was welcome to leave with them. What the flip!! I was angry, embarrassed, and ashamed. Unknown to him, as I neared graduation, I searched for and secured my dream career job. It was 50 miles further away from my school, putting 100 miles between us. I secured my own apartment, putting a disappointing damper on his plans for our life together. Graduation came and went, still with loads of talk about our future, but no signs of commitment from him. It took 3 months before he decided to visit me at my apartment, which he considered a waste of his time. Here’s the BIG clue about knowing when to pull the plug, and I wish I’d done it earlier than deal with a six-month extrication: When you don’t introduce him to your very trusted friends to simply hang out with the group (go to a movie, out for a drink, maybe dinner as a double date) because you’ve become embarrassed, or you’re feeling controlled, by being in the presence of this guy, it’s time to stop everything. You should be proud of the person you’re with. Break up now. Tell the truth, such as “we’re incompatible”, “I don’t see the future that you’ve mapped out”, “Our age difference has me thinking of a challenging future as we age at different rates”. The guy I was seeing was disrespectful of my accomplishments, often treated me with indifference, especially when I was recuperating from being hit by a car while in a crosswalk (didn’t call or visit for 2 weeks), and accused me of welcoming the advances of other men. I wish I’d had the courage to break up much earlier than two years in.
@@probablynot1368 Thanks for sharing your story. I enjoyed reading it. I trust it is all behind you and you have created a great life. I have to honestly say that all the men I dated and/or lived with were very good to me and I have no negative stories to tell other than the age difference. One guy still sends me a birthday email without fail every single year. I enjoy hearing from him. It's a sweet remembrance on his part. I guess when I stop getting them, I'll know he's passed on. It will be bittersweet.
@@9liveslisa Thank you. I moved forward with my life, meeting a wonderful man of my age (three years after the breakup with the older fellow), and moved 1,800 away to build a very happy life together. Fast forward another 18 years and my mother calls to tell me he’d died. I contacted his family to give my condolences, only to be met with accusations of ruining his life (no, I took nothing from him, nor asked him for anything), and thus was responsible for his suicide! What? That’s how I discovered he’d written two suicide notes, one to his sister and one to his octogenarian parents, shot himself in his head, and told them where they could find his body. I had neither seen nor heard from him in 21 years, so this came as a surprise. Useless to argue or defend myself to someone in such grief and disbelief. I was simply the first woman in his entire dating life that had been the one to break up with him before he had a chance to end the relationship. His family had often told me that they hoped he was turning over a new page and growing up during our relationship. At 23 years of age, I came to the conclusion that he was a man-child. His suicide was difficult for his family, as he told them he couldn’t face growing older without having a woman by his side.
Sucks to be you. 10 to 20 year difference is common in Asia and preferred. My wife is 13 years younger. No I didn't chase her.
I lowkey feel bad for her. I can hear insecurities in her speech patterns and while she knows she’s doing wrong, I can bet that her dating an older guys is her way of denying those insecurities. Most Men her age don’t want nothing more than a hookup but sadly that’s all this older guy wants too, he probably just has more money to present that cold fact easier. But how could she possibly lose her virginity to man whom got her mom pregnant and didn’t even want the baby. That should tell her that she’s screwed if she gets pregnant. Damn. I hate that we as women can be so emotionally driven that we can’t even see the fire behind the smoke
I don’t believe she knew about her mothers pregnancy until after sleeping with the predator, scum bag, SOB.
That is a great comment. I, as a father, put alot of blame on her dad. A dad protects his daughter throughout her life - no matter what. If you get a flat tire you call me. If you ever need a ride at 2 am I am there. I will be the first to bail you out of jail (once). And I will be the last one in the world to let anything bad happen to my daughter. And me and her mom are not together but it doesn't matter because we are still a team.
@@pimaggot Your daughter is lucky to have you, good on you!!
@@pimaggot Couldn't agree more. My dad changed my life when he told me, "You are worth being happy." It's such a simple thing but changed my entire perception of myself, and that's a dad's job for his daughter.
💯
I felt more and more rage as this story went on
You can literally see him so worried and making sure he uses the right terms and words
This is so nasty. The same moves he practiced on her mother he's using on her..🤮
And in ..... 😮
@@JakeStewart1343devious 😂
Singing R Kelly was so apt 😂
Surprisingly he knows the song
@@leslietarter2096We all have a dark side 🤷♂️
So...he broke up with her Mom when this young lady turned 18. I think he had his heart set on her then. This whole situation will ruin the Mother- Daughter relationship. SMH.
Not his heart...
This is so sad. Dr. John is so right. Praying for this girl.
People could save themselves so much trouble if they would just not have sex outside of marriage. It would avoid most of the issues discussed on this show. Too many people have accepted the cultural position that it's ok as long as you're "ready." That's too subjective. There needs to be the objective reality of marriage to make it properly ordered. John needs to address the fact that it's morally wrong. People need to flee from sexual immorality just like the Bible says. It's very destructive.
Yes, I agree. There is NO WAY this ends well for her. I really, really, hope she finds some good help.
have a feeling she ends up pregnant and alone...
Julia, your cat on your icon is adorable!
My initial thought was that she wasn't very smart but as the call went on I felt really bad for her. She got taken for a ride and was very heavily manipulated. This guy is awful. I hope she gets the help she needs.
23 y/o is not a 15 or 16 y/o she knows right from wrong, there is something she is leaving out in the conversation. She did not have to tell him where she is living or even give out her number. I strongly think she started linking with him for money and what he could buy her; but now she is feeling guilty and ashamed and do not want to take responsibility for her own actions
This makes me wonder if the caller has daddy issues. A lot of times when girls grow up without a father they tend to be attracted to older men. I truly pray that she decides to leave the relationship and talk to your mom about it afterwards.
Naaaaaa no daddy issues found here
@@DavidMedic447 🤣🤣🤣🤣
A lot of women are attracted to older men. Not sure if 27 year difference like in this case but a 10 year difference is pretty common.
why is it an automatic assumption that she has daddy issues? maybe she just likes older men. what’s the big deal? she’s an adult and can date and see whoever she wants. This particular situation isn’t good because he’s known her since she was 15. either way the point is, if it wasn’t a man who dated her mother and has known her since she was 15 it wouldn’t be an issue because she’s an adult
@@winnytheeangel she’s dating her moms ex…who’s 27 years older than her…and she’s admitted to self
Esteem issues. This screams daddy issues
He wanted her when he was with her mom! He is a disgusting predator!
Infuriating. Predator identified his prey and then exploited her. Makes me sick that he was her first sexual relationship, knowing exactly how that would bind her to him emotionally. What an asshole!!! Hope she has found an amazing therapist to help her see all the red flags and that she’s worth so much more.
..Didn't feel attractive enough to be with anyone, sad
I don’t think so. He was three years with the mother and he didn’t make a move then.
I'm not even done with the episode yet, but did anyone else notice that Dr. Deloney just happened sing an R. KELLY song TWICE during this call? So fitting! 😂
Yes annoying and rude to the girl trying to tell her story
What a sick bastard to groom this poor lady. He knows exactly what he is doing and she is to naive to see it.
She will see it when she is 40 and think to herself "what was I thinking"?
Y'all only talking about him grooming her, he's been stalking her too.
It was not coincidence that he bumped into her at the function,, showed up at her appartment unanounced and kept popping up here and there just when she happened to be around.
My guess is that he lusted after her when he was still with her mum then stalked her after leaving. He waited for her to reach legal age then pounced!! The tought of him makes me sick.
Bingo
I’d like John to stop the noisy judgements early on in the phone calls. He needs to wait until he knows more. This girl’s story is a good example, she’s been groomed by a predator and she’s very naive. She needed a listener to start with, not a bunch of judgements.
👏🏻
Yeah, I totally agree, she is being manipulated and John's constant interruption was annoying
I felt the same as someone who has suffered abuse and grooming at a young age. She needed a listening ear and needed advice. She got advice only after she first heard someone who kept making jokes out of her situation for the audience..
I dated a guy who was almost 50 when I was 30. They really don’t have any serious thoughts about you. Just taking advantage of you when he can for how long he can. Get out! (I found a great man months after getting out, and we are now happily married.)
I had a very similar story and couldn't agree more!
Run from that guy girl, run!! There will be someone out there who will actually care about you.
Anything that’s been in my mom is not welcome here. Period! This dude I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s hurting her in and outside the bedroom.
Right?! This is so gross!
He's not doing anything she isn't allowing. I think she is either extremely manipulative, or knows so little about life that she should be under the supervision and care of her mother.
@@texan903 She is manipulative? That man is 30 years older than her! How is he the victim here?
@rbaj001 Yes, she probably enticed him or there's a jealousy, a competition between mother and daughter.
She is not ready to let go. I feel badly for her.
One reason it’s scary to date as a single mom. Too many predators out there. If he wasn’t familiar with her he probably wldnt have approached her.
I hope this girl listens back to this, and reads the messages. This guy is bad in all ways. Grooming doesn’t even describe it!
Correct. Age gap isn't the issue, its the predatory behavior that is cringe.
An age gap that wide will always have a distorted power dynamic. Everything else about it, especially him knowing her at 15 makes it even worse, but she is a grown woman in her 20’s, she cannot 100% put this on him, she has to take some responsibility for her actions.
When I was 6 years old my mother had a boyfriend. They dated for about 8 years. They broke up when he migrated to this country. My sister and I liked him very much and wished he was our father.
So went I came to this country I searched for him on facebook. He lives in Florida with a wife and two adult children. We talked everyday on the phone. I love him as a father figure.
One day he just said he was having feelings for me and wants me to be his girlfriend.
I told him NO. I can never ever betrayed my mother by sleeping with her ex man. That he can never see the mother nakedness and also the daughter nakedness. He said she didn't have to know.
I never told my mom and he never mention it again. Have some respect for your self and others will also respect you.
I’m glad you stood your ground!
He never mentioned it again? So did you continue talking to him
@@roxyj3182right… keeping loose ties is the same thing
@@roxyj3182right… a man who “develops feelings” for you after he helped raise you is a disgusting pos and a disgrace to men everywhere.
And the fact he had a family and tried to have a girlfriend with the ex girlfriends daughter...
The 50 year old dating his ex-girlfriend’s daughter is a predator!
He didn’t respect her boundary and showed up at her apartment and convinced her to do something she wasn’t comfortable with.
He manipulated her and got his emotional hooks in her.
Offer her free counseling please!
It looks like she dont have money.
If you are reading these comments Annalise, ignore the shaming. We all screw up. Especially when we are desperate to be loved. We are so vulnerable in that state. You are stronger than you know.
This gave me anxiety. I can’t believe this guy. I hope she can seek counseling she had so much to say with so little time. I always can tell if someone talks like that they just need someone to talk to. My heart goes out to her
Makes you wonder how many other women he has done this to. Bet the mom met the creeper online and this isn't his first grooming.
He needs counseling. But maybe she just wanted that D🤷🏼♂️
I think we can all agree that she's still a kid, even at 23. We are all learning still and developing who we are still
Everyone is different. It is clear this young woman is under developed for her age.
A kid? Y’all excuse the most depraved things
Bad judgment just like her mother.
Stupid people that will always make stupid mistakes aren’t ‘kids’. That’s really downgrading the severity of their bad decisions. Clearly the mom makes bad decisions too. I know people that never made a decent decision in their life. You can’t just call them kids because of that. 23 is NOT young! People are perfectly capable of understanding what is wrong and right. She’s not innocent
What are you taking about? We are all learning everyday. She has no business going there. She is in for the financial help. That is nasty. What if she gets pregnant? Is she going to have an abortion like the mom.
Im 36 ........one of the best thing about getting into my 30s was dating women in their 30s.....finally everyone was mature. Cant imagine this.
He groomed her, no doubt. Took total advantage the trust she put in him.
How do you know that for sure? Maybe he pays for everything and she's taking advantage of him, 🤷🏼♂️
@@JamesJohnson-nc7ih you cannot convince me that any relationship that involved one party meeting the other AS A CHILD, doesn’t include some form of grooming.
Women have no agency.
@@abark He is 30 years older. Give me a break.
@@JamesJohnson-nc7ih Because everything she is describing about him is predatory. Sorry, there's a power imbalance and it's not in her favor.
Dear God he coerced the mother into an abortion and now she’s sleeping with her other adult child?!!! Am I hearing this right ??? Her sibling is dead in part due to this dude. What is going on here ? This is bad.
I didn’t hear her directly say an abortion - she could have had a miscarriage. Either way, so very messed up 😬
I know it would have been a total rabbit hole so it all worked out, but I’m glad I wasn’t the only one who thought that detail was huge and ambiguous.
I’m 25 and this girl talks like she’s at least 6 years younger than me. She may be 23 but she’s socially stunted to where she’s more like a kid who just graduated high school
The guy is a sociopath, narcissist, and is majorly manipulative. Get away girl!!!!!!
He has no empathy, no remorse, completely shameless, self centered, manipulative dude! He is using her and getting back at his ex!!!!!! This is sick. She is young and naive. He stalked her and hunted her down. I hope she blocks him. He is making her feel sorry for him and responsible for his sadness. End this please for your own good. This guy is a 🐍 snake! Who would date his ex’s child?!?!?!?! 🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍