Snobbish woman to Churchill: “If you were my husband, sir, I’d poison your tea” Churchill to snobbish woman: “If you were my wife, madam, I’d drink it”
Lady Astor: "Mr. Churchill your drunk!" Mr. Churchill: "And you, Lady Astor, are ugly. As for my condition, it will pass by the morning. You, however, will still be ugly." (I shall do my best to avoid commenting on your unfortunate Nom-de-plume)
My Granddads ex-sniper mate during an interview with the Imperial War Museum (I apologise for being unable to remember his name or the German unit); IWM "I understand that you misdirected a German advance in Normandy?" "Yes." IWM "How?" "I saw some German military police putting up signs." "What did you do?" "I shot them all and turned the signs round."
Yep, that quote's from the legendary Chesty Puller: "We've been looking for the enemy for some time now. We've finally found him. We're surrounded. That simplifies things." (Breakout: The Chosin Reservoir Campaign Korea 1950, Martin Russ, 1998)
@Neil Griffiths: General Oliver P. Smith, CO of 1st MARDIV during the Chosin Reservoir Campaign: "Retreat, hell! We're not retreating, we're just advancing in a different direction."
London firefighter during the Blitz, to a woman who had just been rescued, along with her children, from a bombed house: "Ma'am, ma'am - where's your husband?" Housewife: "Fighting in Libya, the bloody coward."
My dad was in africa.........as a chef .... all he did was fight with recipes !... probably killed more vicariosly. (A platoon just came in ! ... throw another bucket of water in the stew)
10 June 1940. Italian Foreign Minister Ciano presents British Ambassador Sir Percy Loraine the declaration of war. Sir Percy's Reply: "I have the honour to remind Your Excellency that England is not in the habit of losing her wars."
There are indeed mistakes, but despite correction and outright ridicule the stuffy little island dwellers insist on putting extra vowels in words that don't need them, inventing utter garbage terms to obfuscate their intent, and insisting that it's everyone else who's doing it wrong.
My favourite quote from the queen : on being approached by a group of american tourists in Balmoral village and asked if she had ever met the queen, she nodded to her bodygaurd & said "No, but he has" 🤣🤣
Another one from the Queen from a documentary I watched. A woman tapped her on the shoulder (in a post office!!) and said, "I hope you don't mind me saying but you look an awful lot like the Queen." The Queen responded, "Well thank goodness for that."
"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. We have a small problem. All four engines have stopped. We are doing our damnedest to get them going again. I trust you are not in too much distress." - Captain Eric Moody, at cruising altitude in a 747. British Airways flight 009 was a flight from London to Auckland, with several stops along the way. The crew had joined the aircraft at Kuala Lumpur and were flying to Perth, Australia. Shortly after crossing the Indonesian island of Java, the crew noticed an eerie glow, called St Elmo's Fire, on the windscreen of the aircraft. Then the passenger cabin started to fill with smoke but the crew thought it was cigarette smoke, as smoking was still permitted. Then, about two minutes after the St Elmo's fire appeared, one of the engines began to surge and then stopped working. Another stopped and then to the disbelief of the crew, the remaining engines also stopped working. The crew turned back to Java and tried to restart the engines. During the repeated attempts to restart the engines, Captain Moody took time to quickly speak to his passengers, and made his infamous announcement. After several minutes, the plane was close to the point where the crew would have to turn around and ditch in the ocean, as Java has volcanoes that require a plane be above 11,500 ft to clear them. Suddenly, one of the engines restarted, which allowed the crew to slow their descent. Then another engine restarted, which allowed them to start climbing, quickly followed by the two remaining engines restarting. The crew began to climb to a higher altitude but after a minute the St Elmo's fire reappeared, quickly followed by one of the engines stopping. The crew quickly descended to just 12,000 ft, where there was no St Elmo's fire and the remaining engines continued to work. On approach to Jakarta airport, the crew were puzzled by poor visibility, as if there was fog, although other aircraft reported no problems. The equipment that would allow a safe landing even in poor visibility wasn't working, so the crew had to improvise. As they got close enough to see the landing lights, the crew realised that the windows of the cockpit were now opaque. Captain Moody used a two-inch strip at the side of the window, which was fairly clear, to land the aircraft. Proving that he was full of great lines, Captain Moody described the final approach as "a bit like negotiating one's way up a badger's arse."
I'll add an American quote from the Apollo 13 mission to the moon, when the astronauts knew a horrible explosion had ruined their chances of a simple return to Earth. Uh...Houston....we have a problem
"This is Glasgow, we'll set aboot ye!" Airport worker after the failed terrorist attack at Glasgow airport. The worker kicked a burning terrorist in the galls so hard he broke a tendon in his foot. The most Scottish thing I've ever seen
"F*** you, I'm Millwall". Football fan Roy Larner, as he attacked a group of knife-wielding Islamic terrorists who invaded the pub where he was having "a quiet night out". Despite being stabbed eight times, he was so ferocious that the terrorists eventually fled back into the street, where they were gunned down by armed police special officers. Apparently, being shot dead by the police was preferable to going hand to knife with a Millwall supporter. :-)
How about when Anthony Eden was trying to get an MP to support his coup de'etat against Churchill; "You can't still support the Old Man, he's completely gaga!"; he hadn't seen Churchill, who had crept up behind him and whispered, "And they say he's going deaf too1" Eden; "EeeeeeeK!" (brown trousers)
I was very disappointed this one wasn't included: " Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. We have a small problem. All four engines have stopped. We are doing our damnedest to get them going again. I trust you are not in too much distress." -Captain Eric Moody, British Airways Flight 009, 1982. This was the captain's address to the cabin after they'd flown through some Volcano ash, causing all four engines on the jet to stop at 37,000 ft.
I want to give credit to the American, Sullenberger, who landed his aircraft on the Hudson, after losing his engines to a flock of geese. Asked by Katie Couric if he prayed at all while doing this, he said "I thought there'd be enough people behind me in the 'plane, doing that."
David Hart to be fair, he could probably do 10 clips this size with suitably British quotes..... wasn’t there one from the Royal Navy from a senior officer on board a ship that was going into a very precarious situation to evacuate some troops during WW2 (I can’t remember the exact details) - he was questioned on his decision by a junior officer who was worried about the ship(s) safety. The quote was something like “it takes years to build a ship but centuries to build a reputation* - we’re going back in’. *reputation of the Royal Navy
The stoicism in that quote might have more to do with the fact that he was the pilot and absolutely had to speak calmly and downplay the seriousness of the situation in order to prevent panic among the passengers, who might not have responded to the sudden silence by requesting another cup of tea.
"I think we shall visit the museum". Backstory, a father of two on vacation in London was aboard one of the Underground trains when it exploded on 7th July, 2005. A journalist asked what he and the family would do next.
Talking of Regal sass: years ago my mum went into a cake shop in Windsor and in front of her at the counter was a lady wearing a paisley headscarf and sunglasses. My mum, ever the conversationalist, commented, "I'm sorry, I'm sure you must get this all the time but you look so like the Queen." The lady smiled wryly and replied "how very reassuring".
She was also once spotted on the Balmoral estate and asked if she’d ever met the Queen and said she hadn’t, but pointed to one of her protection officers and said “he has”
That was at Balmoral in a sweet shop....the queen told that story herself on a bbc documentry in the 70s.....it wasnt at windsor the queen wouldnt go to a shop in Windsor....
Sorry Geoff Geoff, unfortunately Mad Jack was already a prisoner of war by D Day. The footage of him landing with sword in hand is from a training exercise. Sorry to ruin a beautiful myth :( On the other hand he did fight until his capture in 1944 with long bow, broad sword and bag pipes.
You forgot the best one: While touring a small village Queen Elizabeth was ushered into a local shop. A female customer inside looked at her and exclaimed, "Why, you look just like the Queen." Without missing a beat Elizabeth replied, "How very reassuring."
My favorite British quote is from the Queen Mother, during WWII. When asked if her children would be leaving Britain for Canada, during the Blitz, she said... "The children will not leave unless I do. I shall not leave unless their father does, and the King will not leave the country in any circumstances whatsoever ..."
One of my favourite quotes from her is one time when she was in South Africa. A politician from an old Boer family, whose ancestors had fought in both Boer Wars, said to her “We South Africans think of the British as invaders.” She said “Yes, I’m Scottish, we feel the same way.” I mean, honestly.
Battle of Arnhem: (We're completely surrounded and to fight would be suicide) SS Panzer Officer: My general says there is no point in continuing this fighting! He is willing to discuss a surrender! [Short pause} Maj. Harry Carlyle: We haven't the proper facilities to take you all prisoner! Sorry! SS Panzer Officer: [confused] What? Maj. Harry Carlyle: We'd like to, but we can't accept your surrender! Was there anything else? [German officer walks off silently]
@@josephsdale3724 That year the Germans declared war in all directions. "Bang!" they said. "Bang!" we said but it was too late. They said it first! Milligan. After your "This means War" Sellers said, in the voice of Major Bloodknock " WAR? WAR? I must write my memoirs!"
SvenTviking it's stated somewhere that the respect was earned during the house to house fighting, the Germans said they had never had to fight so hard, and that was after fighting in Stalingrad.
"Frankly, I enjoyed the war"- Lt General, Sir Adrian Carton de Wiart, VC. His reply to a question about his experiences in WWI. A war in which he was shot in the eye, skull and chewed his mutilated fingers off after a surgeon refused to amputate.
Mojos Bigstick He also said “any soldier who goes into battle without his sword is improperly dressed”. And he also took a bow and arrow as well as a set of bagpipes and the sword
It's an urban legend but I'll share it anyway. When the BBC re-took over the broadcasts on the radio (they had been under government control for the duration of the second word war) the presenter declares "we apologise for the interruption"
"We apologise for the interruption" probably does qualify for the list anyway. It's the standard quote used when interrupting some filler TV show for top-level, country-stands-still sort of breaking news (11 September, Diana's death, 7/7, that sort of thing)
David McMullan what is this second WORD war you speak of? For that matter, when was the first? Sounds like something I might like to know more about...
‘Makes you proud to be British’ Winston Churchill, context: Back in the 50s when he was Prime Minister, and such things were illegal, was told the police had caught an MP In Flagrante Delicto with a Guardsman in the London park during the night. He asked what the weather was like and being told it was one of the coldest nights of years, made the above remark.
As First Lord of the Admiralty, Churchill's retort about the most ancient traditions of the Royal Navy was that they were "Rum, Buggery, and the Lash".
As a prosecutor (aka Queen's Consul), I would note that the MP would have been abusing his position of trust. As for the the Guardsman, any soldier would understand field expediency.
"Things are a bit sticky, sir," Brigadier Tom Brodie of the Gloucestershire Regiment. The 600 men were being attacked by around 30,000 Chinese soldiers at the Imjin River in Korea. Unfortunately, he was talking to his American superior, who took that to mean everything was fine. It resulted in a last stand which saved Seoul from falling, but which also resulted in more than 500 of them being captured when their ammo ran out.
I recall hearing a story from back in the 80's when Queen Elizabeth was visiting Ronald Reagan at his ranch in California. They were horseback riding when the queen's mount hoisted its tail and let loose with a thunderous fart. Elizabeth responded with 'Oh dear. Forgive me. There are some things even a queen cannot control.' Reagan's response was 'Oh....I just assumed it was the horse.'
Was quite surprised (and a wee bit disappointed) that Capt Oates' quote, "I am just going out and may be some time," wasn't #1. It's what this Yank recognizes as the very epitome of British understatement ... .
How could they have known what he said? What, if anything, he said, was heard only by people who would be dead an hour later. Scott's journal? Written by a dying, hallucinating, delirious man.
‘it takes the Navy three years to build a new ship … it will take 300 years to build a new tradition’ - Admiral of the Fleet Viscount Cunningham, regarding the suggestion to save his ships rather than send them to almost certain destruction in support of the evacuation of Crete.
There was a great quote from Spencer Percival, I believe. He was only really famous for being the only British Prime Minister to be assassinated. After having been shot, his last words were, "Oh. I have been murdered."
"...best known for being one of the foremost experts at one of England's oldest and most popular hobbies: dunking on the French military." This killed me. Simon, you could feature in your own list.
The Queen is not daft when she insists on recognisable colours. I read in a newspaper she was once refused entry to her own property. She was behind the steering wheel of her vehicle, decked out in tweed and wearing a headscarf like any upper class British matron. Apparently the guard said: "You can't come in dear, this is private property." According to the newspaper, Her Majesty and everyone in the Land Rover burst into laughter.
Nick Heyns Just saw a photo of her getting out of her Jaguar. I was amazed that she still drove herself, when Obama just admitted that he hasn't gotten behind the wheel once since he became president. I'm not slamming him for that, just emphasizing how restrictive & confining being a world leader can be
She was a motor mechanic during the second world war and remains an auto enthusiast. I was under the impression she only drove on her estates these days or in small towns close to them. Kudos to her!
She also has a private gate at Ascot, so she can drive her Range Rover right up to the track and sit in it to watch the (horse) races without being disturbed.
Thank you Tom. That is my new favourite story now. I think the whole royal family has training in advanced driving for emergencies like a terrorist attack . Go Liz, go!!
tag1462 - "A birthday card to the USA that was pure Brit." Indeed it is. Many thanks for sharing that one with us Siblings Across the Pond !! Great stuff................................
MY favorite quote from Sir Winston Churchill "A dog will look up to a man, a cat will look down on him, but a pig will look him in the eye and greet him as an equal." He may have been an obese, chronically depressed ginger nob, but Sir Winston Churchill had a way with words!
I also love his reply to a woman who told him " if you were my husband I'd poison your coffee" which was "..and if you were my wife, I'd drink it". Classic.
Is this true? : According to the Daily Mail, after being disturbed while at the toilet by the Lord Privy Seal, Winston Churchill replied, "Tell him I can only deal with one s**t at a time."
My favorite, suitable for many occasions: A member of Parliament, "The honourable member has proven that there is no such thing as unutterable nonsense."
I have always loved a quote attributed to Sir Winston Churchill, "If I had Canadian Troops, British Officers and American know how I could conquer the world!" I think that's right, something like that anyway. Roll on Britain! Greetings from Canada.
"Gentlemen of France, perhaps you would care to fire first?" Lord Hay, British general, 11 May 1745, Battle of Fontenoy. Splendid stuff. And even better - it was a genuine offer!
@@hansgruber788 That was indeed the theory - because the people who fired first would then take return fire while they were reloading. And hence, according to Voltaire, the French replied to Lord Charles Hay, Captain of the English Guards, who had called out ‘Gentlemen of the French Guards, fire.’ with the response ‘Gentlemen, we never fire first, open fire yourselves.’ If Voltaire's account is correct - and there are several different ones - the theory didn't work, because the first of the British volleys which followed killed nineteen French officers, disrupting their formation sufficiently that they broke and ran.
Larry Jones. "Er-Captain Oates. A few words before you so nobly leave us? "You're not going to leave that bloody recording of Michael MacIntyre..are you?"
@@jpgrumbach8562 I've also seen it attributed to Winston Churchill and Mark Twain. But Shaw did say (in Pygmalion) that Americans haven't spoken English for years.
The Queen was referring to "being recognized from a great distance." She was talking about being seen by people in a large crowd. She was being kind in the comment, showing respect for those "who take time out of their day to come out to see their Queen."
Harry Balzack "Monty Python's The Holy Grail" - SO MUCH better than "The life of Brian." Obviously my own opinion, which doesn't actually count too much! Hehehe
mikes5637 Ya, I know, I even said it in my head in a French accent while typing. But it is a favorite, and an inside joke about being notified of the video.
I think Life of Brian was the better movie...until I'm watching The Holy Grail...I've seen them both dozens of times...I think I can match any funny line from one movie with the other...two of my personal favorites from LOB..."Let's face it...as empires go, this is the big one." "We tell Pilate he has three days to dismantle the entire imperialist system...or we send her back in pieces." I'm cracking up just thinking about that movie right now
Things are a bit sticky, sir," Brig Tom Brodie of the Gloucestershire Regiment His men were outnumbered eight to one, stranded on every side by human waves of Chinese Communist infantry attackers at the height of the Korean war. But when the British brigadier reported the position to his American superior in the United Nations joint command, he did so with classic and -as it turned out - lethal British understatement.
British soldier known as Sherlock in Afgan in 2007, stood upright on top of a house, silhouetted against the light. No body armour, no helmet, under fire from the Taliban, rifle jammed against his hip loosing bursts of automatic fire whilst lighting a cigarette with his other hand; his LT, prone and in cover, looks up at him and shouts "bloody hell, Sherlock!", Sherlock drops down, looks a little sheepish, fishes out another cigarette and holds it out to the LT, "sorry sir, should have offered". (Junior Officers' Reading Club - Patrick Hennessey).
The Americans were asking very seriously rather or not the Gloucestershire needed reinforcement. That understatement caused those reserves to go elsewhere. Even without any hope of reinforcement the Gloucestershire practically fought to the last man. American Korean War veterans always speak very highly of British and Commonwealth troops.
Drake finished his game because he was a sailor in a wind-powered vessel. He knew perfectly well that there was absolutely nothing to be done until the tide changed. That's why he had time to finish his game.
And lesser commanders would have rushed off to prepare, then sat in port waiting for the wind giving all the sailors time to think how bad the fight would be and the chances of getting hung for desertion if they made a break for it
Somebody just had to go and get all serious, this was a light hearted look at British wit and dry humour throughout history, not a debate and the chuffing direction of the wind .
Nelson's famous quote "Let me alone: I have yet my legs and one arm. Tell the surgeon to make haste and his instruments. I know I must lose my right arm, so the sooner it's off the better." After being wounded during the attack on Santa Cruz, Tenerife in 1797.
As an American I always loved British aplomb, your way of shrugging your shoulders during the most dire of circumstances as if to say "It was nothing." I guess that's why Mrs. Miniver is one of my all time favorite movies. Hats off to the British!
AuNSHiVA Gibbons I have to say as a Brit I would do more than that if you knocked my tea over. It is the elixir of life you know. Of course it would be PG Tips or Yorkshire to get that response. Lol
another favorite: An American film crew had rented part of a castle for a shoot, but actor/writer Charles Grodin had strayed into a part that hadn't been rented and was idly talking to another cast member. The owner of the castle approached them with the gentlest admonishment she could muster and/or the most euphemistically caustic: "IT WOULD BE SO NICE IF YOU WEREN'T HERE." That, to me, sounds veddy British.
Winston Churchill was famous for responding to someone critiquing one of his speeches for ending a sentence with a preposition. His reply below this in the margin was, "This is the sort of thing, up with which I will not put." Never underestimate the British sense of humo(u)r. ;)
You missed Gloucester Hill Brigadier Thomas Brodie and the "Bit sticky" quote. 650 men of the Gloucester Regiment vs a Chinese division, estimated at 10,000 men
I was going to suggest this, being overrun by an entire army, being forced back everywhere, running out of ammo, guns overheating, fighting with ration cans, on the verge of being cut off and annihilated. When asked about his situation: "Things are a bit sticky, sir," Unfortunately the general was American and understood this to mean 'We're having it a bit rough but we're holding the line'. Any hopes of relief were dashed by an American misunderstanding of British understatement, I guess it can be a drawback too thus xD
Or the half starved, surrounded and seriously out gunned paratroopers at Arnhem, who..... (responding to a German surrender proposal) said, "Sorry, but we simple do not have the facilities .....to take you all prisoner". "Was there anything else"?
Absolutely the best - I was going to comment on it myself. But having done some research, I can't find out if it was ever really said, or is just an inspired piece of film script-writing (I do so hope not). The quote directly comes from a Bridge Too Far, and in the movie is said by Major Carlyle, who is a fictional character heavily based on a real character Major Digby Taham-Warter - he was just the man to have said something like this, in the action he led a charge across the bridge with his umbrella, and ushered a man to safety protecting him with that umbrella - a real British character, brave as a lion, and he survived. But I can't find any verification he said the famous surrender line, unfortunately.
The American reply to the Germans inviting them to surrender at Bastogne when surrounded: "Nuts". Philip of Macedon (father of Alexander the Great) "If I enter Laconia, I will raze Sparta to the ground," the Spartans' reply was, "If." At Thermopylae in 1941 the Australian comment was "Here we are and here we bloody well stay" as they fought a rearguard against the German invasion of Greece.
You missed one of the all-time British quotes: The circumstances: British Airways flight 9, a 747-200 with service between London, UK and Aukland, NZ, with stops in Bombay and Madras, India, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, and Perth and Melbourne Australia, was at cruising altitude over Indonesia (perhaps coincidentally close to the erupting Mount Galunggung). The weather radar was showing clear skies, which shouldn't be a surprise since weather radar registers precipitation and not volcanic a"vsh. As the engines became clogged with said ash, they began to flame out one after another. While attempting to restart, the captain uttered one of the classic instances of British understatement: "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. We have a small problem. All four engines have stopped. We are doing our damnedest to get them going again. I trust you are not in too much distress." -- Captain Eric Moody, captain of British Airways flight 9 and charter member of The Mount Galunggung Glider Club
It's times like this I'm even prouder to be a Brit. Honestly have no problems with any nationality on the planet, I even like the French (;-)), but being British is damned cool.
What's more they eventually got 3 of the engines restarted, and landed the plane without incident, but without any visibility at all because the windscreen was so sandblasted they had to land on instruments or as he put it " "a bit like negotiating one's way up a badger's arse."" ....
A friend of mine, who is in his nineties but still as sharp as a tack, was the test navigator during the trials of the prototype versions of a number of key British military aircraft in the post-war period. I have heard him describe the situation on one test flight, when there was a loud bang and the engine failed, as "A little local difficulty."
Sir; how dare you! You know perfectly well that Britannia Rules the Waves, and the Navy is regarded by all who know as 'the Senior Service! Choose your weapons!
@@josephsdale3724 It is the Senior Service. The Royal Navy traces back to 1546 and the Army only to 1645. Also, the British Army is essentially expeditionary and when they want to go somewhere for a scrap, they need a lift. But they don't like to be reminded
My favorite (although it's not a single sentence) is from the 16th Duke of Norfolk, who while on a trip to Australia said, "Gentlemen, I wish this to be an entirely informal tour. You will merely address me as 'Sir. '" The context: by being a duke, he was in possession of the highest rank of nobility outside the royal family. As such he was entitled to be called not just My Lord or Your Lordship like a mere earl or baron but Your Grace. On top of that, he was also the senior duke (with the oldest title going back the most generations) and thus was individually the highest ranking member of the entire British aristocracy, and whose family had been at the highest level of privilege the longest. Ordering other people to call him "Sir" was thus in his mind a hugely generous relaxation of norms, and a way to show he wasn't stuffy.
@@MICKEYISLOWD I terms of humanity. Lennon was a vicious, hypocritical abuser. As for their music, I rather think Lennon thought himself the leader of the band. His attitude towards Ringo shows his terrible attitude towards those he collaborated with.
One famous comment from the First World War. 'Sir we are coming under intense artillery fire'. Response -'Yes, they are allowed to do that. It is in the rules'.
Then I’ve won it twice lol. My father who’s entire family emigrated from England then he was born 2 years later was American by virtue of his place of birth. 19 years later he was stationed in southern England married me mum and I was born a year later. So my blood is 100% British but I’m a dual national and spent half my childhood in England and half in America. I have the best of both counties lol
This reminds me of the most American quote I've ever seen. "Sex is a lot like killing people; It grosses you out the first time you see someone else do it, but damned if it ain't always fun when you do it." Wait, did I say American? I meant psychotic, it's the most psychotic quote I've ever seen.
You left out one of the greats, from Captain Lawrence Edward Grace "Titus" Oates (not making that up): "I'm just going outside. I may be some time." The context: Robert Scott's ill-fated 1912 Antarctic expedition The story: Suffering from frostbite and in the middle of a blizzard that hit the despondent team of explorers after they had reached the South Pole just days after a Norwegian team had become the first to get there, Oates decided he was reducing his companions' chances of survival. He said these words to his fellows, stepped out of the tent and was never seen again.
Dear Simon Thanks for being kind towards the Queen. As a citizen of the colonies (Australia) I'm fiercely supportive of our Queen and have been known to become combative if anyone within earshot takes it upon themselves to aim scorn (or anything worse than scorn) at our beloved Queen. This got me in trouble a number of times at random pubs around the turn of the millennium, when the notion of forming a republic was put to a referendum.
Razer Campbell as an American, I envy the Brits their queen. We often elect presidents who are way too full of themselves and desperately need to be taken down a peg by an unflappable little old lady.
The British Queen has much less power that the American President so the solution to you problem is to remove most of their power until they flap, then take away more of their power until they flap a little less, then take away some more of their power until they stop flapping. Then they will be unflappable.
@Noel Pucarua Yes... it's convenient when people with your anti-British Constitutional views actually believe they are right, is it not? As you say: when people are in any way threatening, take away their power - with the best method of achieving this being, of course, to let them believe that they still retain said power. For example, it may interest you to know that in the last year of the Cameron Government (i.e. the year before he fell on his own sword following the Brexit disaster which he caused), the Queen refused at least twelve laws presented to her for Royal Asent - including one which proposed transferring ultimate control of the Armed Forces (including the right to declare or end wars) from the Crown (that's her) to the Prime Minister. I wonder why she didn't like that idea? PS: Remember that *NO* revolution has ever succeeded without the support of the Armed Forces - and ours swear allegiance to the Crown, not the Government. And long may that safeguard - and many others the Queen ensures - last.
"Duty called and called me to obey" Captain Noel Chavasse - Was the only man to be awarded both a Victoria cross and Bar for his service in WW1 and one of only three men to have achieved this distinction.
British Veteran in Normandy for the 60th D-Day anniversary celebration, Upon meeting an American Lady at Pont du Hoc. AL. My word sir you have so many medals on your chest, you must have done something very brave. BV. Yes madam, I saved the lives of over 50 men in my regiment, AL. How on earth did you do that? BV. I shot our cook! I laughed for over an hour as I pushed him around in his wheelchair. RIP “Dolly”.
I once read an observation from the first world war that when the war started men were either full of bravado or afraid and safety seeking when faced with combat. Towards the end of the war these men had reversed roles. I think it says something about bravery and cowardice and how people react differently in different contexts so I don't like to judge people on these descriptions as i don't even know what i would be like in the situation.
At a function given by the Queen and the body guard had farted when a Lord of the rolls said "I say what are you doing farting before the Queen" ? Body guard "Oh Sorry I did not know it was her turn"
Top Tenz does RUclips the way it should be done. Casual, professional interesting and full of well put and succinct content. I am wanting to start a blog (different interests). I like your style and the pace is perfect. Thanks
Buckingham Palace Guard: Bloody hell, Your Majesty, I nearly shot you! The Queen: That's quite all right. Next time I'll ring through beforehand so you don't have to shoot me.
"I have to tell you now that no such undertaking has been received, and that consequently this country is at war with Germany." Chamberlain's method of informing his people that they were at war with a country with a larger economy, a much larger army and air force, and nearly twice as many people, must rank in the top 11 most British sentences in history. Apparently there was an air raid warning the same day, too: The full quote: "This morning the British Ambassador in Berlin handed the German Government a final Note stating that, unless we heard from them by 11 o'clock that they were prepared at once to withdraw their troops from Poland, a state of war would exist between us. I have to tell you now that no such undertaking has been received, and that consequently this country is at war with Germany."
The air raid happened almost immediately. It was a test of the warning system. A bit pointless as no German airfields, or aircraft were in range of Britain at that time.
London and most British cities were well within the range of unescorted bombers flying from Germany. In 1939, the new British radar system was top secret, and still in development. Night fighters were nonexistent. Consequently, a German attack on British in September 1939 was considered likely, not just possible.
I'd have to say, on hearing that message, the thoughts of the British people could be summed up in two sentences. "Oh bloody hell, not again." and... "This is your fault, you twat."
Snobbish woman to Churchill: “If you were my husband, sir, I’d poison your tea”
Churchill to snobbish woman: “If you were my wife, madam, I’d drink it”
Snobbish woman was Lady Astor.
Lady Astor: "Mr. Churchill your drunk!" Mr. Churchill: "And you, Lady Astor, are ugly. As for my condition, it will pass by the morning. You, however, will still be ugly." (I shall do my best to avoid commenting on your unfortunate Nom-de-plume)
Ot snobbish woman,the MP NANCY ASTOR
@@1515327E that is the best response ever
That would be MP Lady Astor
"...being aboard a sinking ship is no excuse to forget your manners." If that isn't British...
Best one I ever heard of was from a tea lady, during WWII, to a member of European royalty: "Where did you say you were king of, luv?"
My Granddads ex-sniper mate during an interview with the Imperial War Museum (I apologise for being unable to remember his name or the German unit); IWM "I understand that you misdirected a German advance in Normandy?" "Yes." IWM "How?" "I saw some German military police putting up signs." "What did you do?" "I shot them all and turned the signs round."
Lieutenant: "Sir, we are surrounded!"
Commander: "Fantastic, we can fire in all directions."
That’s a quote from an American.
Chesty Puller, USMC, I believe.
Which American officer was quoted as saying "We're not retreating. We're just attacking in a different direction!" Korean war? Great stuff.
Yep, that quote's from the legendary Chesty Puller:
"We've been looking for the enemy for some time now. We've finally found him. We're surrounded. That simplifies things."
(Breakout: The Chosin Reservoir Campaign Korea 1950, Martin Russ, 1998)
@Neil Griffiths:
General Oliver P. Smith, CO of 1st MARDIV during the Chosin Reservoir Campaign:
"Retreat, hell! We're not retreating, we're just advancing in a different direction."
London firefighter during the Blitz, to a woman who had just been rescued, along with her children, from a bombed house: "Ma'am, ma'am - where's your husband?"
Housewife: "Fighting in Libya, the bloody coward."
Non-Plussed look from Firefighter
My dad was in africa.........as a chef .... all he did was fight with recipes !... probably killed more vicariosly. (A platoon just came in ! ... throw another bucket of water in the stew)
Sheepdog Smokey lol finally someone who knows how to use that word in its appropriate context. I was starting to lose faith
@glyn hodges hmmm ... i still do that to this day.
Mmmmmm, quite. LMAO!
10 June 1940. Italian Foreign Minister Ciano presents British Ambassador Sir Percy Loraine the declaration of war. Sir Percy's Reply:
"I have the honour to remind Your Excellency that England is not in the habit of losing her wars."
Absolutely savage...
He wasn't lying either.
Frank Clarke you dont build the biggest empire of all time by getting rescued
Yes, you obviously have no idea how large the British Empire was. All you need is to search it up.
The phrase 'The sun never sets on the British empire' comes to mind: it was the largest recorded empire.
"But tomorrow I will be sober, and you will still be ugly."
Never forget: "There is no such thing as 'American English'. There is English. And there are mistakes."
Elisabeth Windsor
There are indeed mistakes, but despite correction and outright ridicule the stuffy little island dwellers insist on putting extra vowels in words that don't need them, inventing utter garbage terms to obfuscate their intent, and insisting that it's everyone else who's doing it wrong.
@@Tomyironmane woah there bud.
@@Tomyironmane stfu it's our language. If u don't like it then make ur own.
@@UK-Government It is our language. Don't like it? Learn to speak German, or quit hiding behind us in every war.
@@Tomyironmane there's a reason it's called English and not American, it's because England made the language. America should make it's own language
John Lennon being interviewed by a US journalist
‘Your haircuts aren’t very American’
‘We’re not Americans’😜
"What would you say to people who called you UnAmerican?"
"That's very observant of them"
He was also asked "When was the last time you had a haircut?" He replied, "I believe I had it cut just yesterday." :)
My favourite quote from the queen : on being approached by a group of american tourists in Balmoral village and asked if she had ever met the queen, she nodded to her bodygaurd & said "No, but he has" 🤣🤣
I never heard this one, but it's a great quote.
Funniest thing I've seen today.
Another one from the Queen from a documentary I watched. A woman tapped her on the shoulder (in a post office!!) and said, "I hope you don't mind me saying but you look an awful lot like the Queen." The Queen responded, "Well thank goodness for that."
Michael Rollinson I'd always heard her response was, "How very reassuring..."
Andrew Cox She sounds entertaining. I'd love to meet her. Or the Pope, he seems like an alright guy too.
"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. We have a small problem. All four engines have stopped. We are doing our damnedest to get them going again. I trust you are not in too much distress." - Captain Eric Moody, at cruising altitude in a 747.
British Airways flight 009 was a flight from London to Auckland, with several stops along the way. The crew had joined the aircraft at Kuala Lumpur and were flying to Perth, Australia. Shortly after crossing the Indonesian island of Java, the crew noticed an eerie glow, called St Elmo's Fire, on the windscreen of the aircraft. Then the passenger cabin started to fill with smoke but the crew thought it was cigarette smoke, as smoking was still permitted.
Then, about two minutes after the St Elmo's fire appeared, one of the engines began to surge and then stopped working. Another stopped and then to the disbelief of the crew, the remaining engines also stopped working. The crew turned back to Java and tried to restart the engines.
During the repeated attempts to restart the engines, Captain Moody took time to quickly speak to his passengers, and made his infamous announcement.
After several minutes, the plane was close to the point where the crew would have to turn around and ditch in the ocean, as Java has volcanoes that require a plane be above 11,500 ft to clear them. Suddenly, one of the engines restarted, which allowed the crew to slow their descent. Then another engine restarted, which allowed them to start climbing, quickly followed by the two remaining engines restarting. The crew began to climb to a higher altitude but after a minute the St Elmo's fire reappeared, quickly followed by one of the engines stopping. The crew quickly descended to just 12,000 ft, where there was no St Elmo's fire and the remaining engines continued to work.
On approach to Jakarta airport, the crew were puzzled by poor visibility, as if there was fog, although other aircraft reported no problems. The equipment that would allow a safe landing even in poor visibility wasn't working, so the crew had to improvise. As they got close enough to see the landing lights, the crew realised that the windows of the cockpit were now opaque. Captain Moody used a two-inch strip at the side of the window, which was fairly clear, to land the aircraft.
Proving that he was full of great lines, Captain Moody described the final approach as "a bit like negotiating one's way up a badger's arse."
Yes! Someone who is interested in aviation ! And in BA flight 9
Thank you for sharing!:-) 🖖
The Guy sounds cool as Permafrost
I'll add an American quote from the Apollo 13 mission to the moon, when the astronauts knew a horrible explosion had ruined their chances of a simple return to Earth.
Uh...Houston....we have a problem
"This is Glasgow, we'll set aboot ye!" Airport worker after the failed terrorist attack at Glasgow airport. The worker kicked a burning terrorist in the galls so hard he broke a tendon in his foot. The most Scottish thing I've ever seen
Alba gu bràth
Kieran Tierney Enthusiast.
Aye, Mon Correr peens fie 'im
"F*** you, I'm Millwall". Football fan Roy Larner, as he attacked a group of knife-wielding Islamic terrorists who invaded the pub where he was having "a quiet night out". Despite being stabbed eight times, he was so ferocious that the terrorists eventually fled back into the street, where they were gunned down by armed police special officers. Apparently, being shot dead by the police was preferable to going hand to knife with a Millwall supporter. :-)
Outstanding. It's not for nothing they call it a 'Glasgow smile'.
I love it!!
Falklands War. 'I've lost my foot!' 'No you haven't. It's over there.'
*General Montgomery:* "I neither drink nor smoke, and I am 100% fit!"
*Winston Churchill:* "Well I both drink and smoke and I'm 200% fit."
How about when Anthony Eden was trying to get an MP to support his coup de'etat against Churchill; "You can't still support the Old Man, he's completely gaga!"; he hadn't seen Churchill, who had crept up behind him and whispered, "And they say he's going deaf too1" Eden; "EeeeeeeK!" (brown trousers)
Another from Churchill: "Mr Atlee is a very modest gentleman...with much to be modest about!"
I'd shed a manly tear in sentiment to this video, but I'm British so a simple 'Well done, sir' will suffice.
i agree
steweygrrr It's ok to cry on the inside.
steweygrrr How about the slightest hint of a tremor on your stiff upper lip?
dafttool but not on the outside?
"Permission for lower lip to wobble, sir?"
"They have us surrounded? Those poor bastards."
I was very disappointed this one wasn't included:
" Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. We have a small problem. All four engines have stopped. We are doing our damnedest to get them going again. I trust you are not in too much distress." -Captain Eric Moody, British Airways Flight 009, 1982.
This was the captain's address to the cabin after they'd flown through some Volcano ash, causing all four engines on the jet to stop at 37,000 ft.
Lmao i remember hearing about that one xD
Damn. I apologise sir, I commented before I found this one. I'm in full agreement with you on this. :-)
I want to give credit to the American, Sullenberger, who landed his aircraft on the Hudson, after losing his engines to a flock of geese. Asked by Katie Couric if he prayed at all while doing this, he said "I thought there'd be enough people behind me in the 'plane, doing that."
David Hart to be fair, he could probably do 10 clips this size with suitably British quotes..... wasn’t there one from the Royal Navy from a senior officer on board a ship that was going into a very precarious situation to evacuate some troops during WW2 (I can’t remember the exact details) - he was questioned on his decision by a junior officer who was worried about the ship(s) safety. The quote was something like “it takes years to build a ship but centuries to build a reputation* - we’re going back in’. *reputation of the Royal Navy
The stoicism in that quote might have more to do with the fact that he was the pilot and absolutely had to speak calmly and downplay the seriousness of the situation in order to prevent panic among the passengers, who might not have responded to the sudden silence by requesting another cup of tea.
"I think we shall visit the museum". Backstory, a father of two on vacation in London was aboard one of the Underground trains when it exploded on 7th July, 2005. A journalist asked what he and the family would do next.
delancyj67 they never did find his body did they?
'shall' really ?
Talking of Regal sass: years ago my mum went into a cake shop in Windsor and in front of her at the counter was a lady wearing a paisley headscarf and sunglasses. My mum, ever the conversationalist, commented, "I'm sorry, I'm sure you must get this all the time but you look so like the Queen." The lady smiled wryly and replied "how very reassuring".
Your Mum has the best anecdote ever! My hubby laughed when I read it out to him too.
She was also once spotted on the Balmoral estate and asked if she’d ever met the Queen and said she hadn’t, but pointed to one of her protection officers and said “he has”
Charlie boy funny, because I’ve heard just that anecdote before. It appears to be an urban myth.
That was at Balmoral in a sweet shop....the queen told that story herself on a bbc documentry in the 70s.....it wasnt at windsor the queen wouldnt go to a shop in Windsor....
@@Tiddybeth really that tag line is no longer unknown
"Any officer who goes into action without his sword is improperly dressed."
That guy (Jack Churchill) also got a couple of confirmed kills on German soldiers with a longbow!
"If it wasn't for those damn Yanks, we could have kept the war going for another 10 years!"
There is a picture of "Mad Jack" storming the beach on D-Day, claymore in hand.
"They don't like the cold steel!"
Sorry Geoff Geoff, unfortunately Mad Jack was already a prisoner of war by D Day. The footage of him landing with sword in hand is from a training exercise. Sorry to ruin a beautiful myth :( On the other hand he did fight until his capture in 1944 with long bow, broad sword and bag pipes.
Geoff Geoff
"They don't like it up 'em! DON'T PANIC Mr Mainwaring!"
You forgot the best one: While touring a small village Queen Elizabeth was ushered into a local shop. A female customer inside looked at her and exclaimed, "Why, you look just like the Queen." Without missing a beat Elizabeth replied, "How very reassuring."
My grandma could come back like that. :)
The quotation: "Well, well, well, what's all this then?"
The context: A British cop
Couldn't have said it better myself
Damn grass..
Or - hello hello hello, what's all this then
give over govna
"Move along, nothing to see here!" is also a classic, especially when there is usually definitely something to see when this sentence is uttered.
My favorite British quote is from the Queen Mother, during WWII. When asked if her children would be leaving Britain for Canada, during the Blitz, she said... "The children will not leave unless I do. I shall not leave unless their father does, and the King will not leave the country in any circumstances whatsoever ..."
And of course, "Oh, he's still King."
@hrothgleas1: Yes, that's an admirable use of the classic Greek "sorite". . .
She also said (after the bombing of Buckingham Palace in 1940), "I am glad we have been bombed. Now we can look the East End in the eye."
One of many reasons for her immense popularity till the day of her death.
One of my favourite quotes from her is one time when she was in South Africa. A politician from an old Boer family, whose ancestors had fought in both Boer Wars, said to her “We South Africans think of the British as invaders.” She said “Yes, I’m Scottish, we feel the same way.” I mean, honestly.
Battle of Arnhem: (We're completely surrounded and to fight would be suicide)
SS Panzer Officer: My general says there is no point in continuing this fighting! He is willing to discuss a surrender!
[Short pause}
Maj. Harry Carlyle: We haven't the proper facilities to take you all prisoner! Sorry!
SS Panzer Officer: [confused] What?
Maj. Harry Carlyle: We'd like to, but we can't accept your surrender! Was there anything else?
[German officer walks off silently]
Even if the entire operation was a clusterfuck the Brits got the last burn in!
"What? Surrender??? This means WAR!" - Harry Secombe - The Goon Show.
The SS treated the captured Paras with absolute respect, a very rare thing.
@@josephsdale3724 That year the Germans declared war in all directions.
"Bang!" they said.
"Bang!" we said but it was too late. They said it first!
Milligan.
After your "This means War" Sellers said, in the voice of Major Bloodknock " WAR? WAR?
I must write my memoirs!"
SvenTviking it's stated somewhere that the respect was earned during the house to house fighting, the Germans said they had never had to fight so hard, and that was after fighting in Stalingrad.
"Frankly, I enjoyed the war"-
Lt General, Sir Adrian Carton de Wiart, VC.
His reply to a question about his experiences in WWI. A war in which he was shot in the eye, skull and chewed his mutilated fingers off after a surgeon refused to amputate.
It's also the first line of his war memoirs.
well said for a Belgian. Clearly got the hang of the lingo.
"If it wasn't for those damn Yanks, we could have kept the war going another 10 years." Captain Jack Churchill (no relation).
Mojos Bigstick He also said “any soldier who goes into battle without his sword is improperly dressed”. And he also took a bow and arrow as well as a set of bagpipes and the sword
It's an urban legend but I'll share it anyway. When the BBC re-took over the broadcasts on the radio (they had been under government control for the duration of the second word war) the presenter declares "we apologise for the interruption"
I think it was the TV service
"We apologise for the interruption" probably does qualify for the list anyway. It's the standard quote used when interrupting some filler TV show for top-level, country-stands-still sort of breaking news (11 September, Diana's death, 7/7, that sort of thing)
David McMullan what is this second WORD war you speak of? For that matter, when was the first? Sounds like something I might like to know more about...
@@FriendlyNeighborhoodNitpicker Yawn.
When BBC was British.
‘Makes you proud to be British’ Winston Churchill, context: Back in the 50s when he was Prime Minister, and such things were illegal, was told the police had caught an MP In Flagrante Delicto with a Guardsman in the London park during the night. He asked what the weather was like and being told it was one of the coldest nights of years, made the above remark.
As First Lord of the Admiralty, Churchill's retort about the most ancient traditions of the Royal Navy was that they were "Rum, Buggery, and the Lash".
As a prosecutor (aka Queen's Consul), I would note that the MP would have been abusing his position of trust. As for the the Guardsman, any soldier would understand field expediency.
@@harryohrt5255
If you were even a court usher, you'd know it was Queen's Counsel.
"Things are a bit sticky, sir," Brigadier Tom Brodie of the Gloucestershire Regiment. The 600 men were being attacked by around 30,000 Chinese soldiers at the Imjin River in Korea. Unfortunately, he was talking to his American superior, who took that to mean everything was fine. It resulted in a last stand which saved Seoul from falling, but which also resulted in more than 500 of them being captured when their ammo ran out.
I recall hearing a story from back in the 80's when Queen Elizabeth was visiting Ronald Reagan at his ranch in California. They were horseback riding when the queen's mount hoisted its tail and let loose with a thunderous fart. Elizabeth responded with 'Oh dear. Forgive me. There are some things even a queen cannot control.' Reagan's response was 'Oh....I just assumed it was the horse.'
Her Majesty never breaks wind. She has aides who do that sort of thing for her.
The punchline I heard was Reagan saying "That's all right. I just blame it in my horse"
Somebody got a point for that one! LOL
Thats an old joke actually from queen victoria in her carriage with a foreign diplomat ..... true story
@@thomaslowdon5510 Yep. And it resurfaced more recently with HM and Obama, too.
Was quite surprised (and a wee bit disappointed) that Capt Oates' quote, "I am just going out and may be some time," wasn't #1. It's what this Yank recognizes as the very epitome of British understatement ... .
Honestly man that story sends a single British tear down my cheek every time I hear it.
@George Bennett: Right you are . . .
It's because it could be considered "suicidal".
How could they have known what he said? What, if anything, he said, was heard only by people who would be dead an hour later. Scott's journal? Written by a dying, hallucinating, delirious man.
Don't wish to be pedantic here, but Scott died about 13 days after Oates.
‘it takes the Navy three years to build a new ship … it will take 300 years to build a new tradition’ - Admiral of the Fleet Viscount Cunningham, regarding the suggestion to save his ships rather than send them to almost certain destruction in support of the evacuation of Crete.
The Navy must NOT let the Army down
"heavy fog in Channel, continent isolated"
Ally Sloper pure gold
I forgot that one. Thanks, it's wonderful! :D Pretty sure I heard it first-hand, long ago.
There was a great quote from Spencer Percival, I believe. He was only really famous for being the only British Prime Minister to be assassinated. After having been shot, his last words were, "Oh. I have been murdered."
"...best known for being one of the foremost experts at one of England's oldest and most popular hobbies: dunking on the French military." This killed me. Simon, you could feature in your own list.
The Queen is not daft when she insists on recognisable colours. I read in a newspaper she was once refused entry to her own property. She was behind the steering wheel of her vehicle, decked out in tweed and wearing a headscarf like any upper class British matron. Apparently the guard said: "You can't come in dear, this is private property." According to the newspaper, Her Majesty and everyone in the Land Rover burst into laughter.
Nick Heyns Just saw a photo of her getting out of her Jaguar. I was amazed that she still drove herself, when Obama just admitted that he hasn't gotten behind the wheel once since he became president. I'm not slamming him for that, just emphasizing how restrictive & confining being a world leader can be
She was a motor mechanic during the second world war and remains an auto enthusiast. I was under the impression she only drove on her estates these days or in small towns close to them. Kudos to her!
She also has a private gate at Ascot, so she can drive her Range Rover right up to the track and sit in it to watch the (horse) races without being disturbed.
Thank you Tom. That is my new favourite story now. I think the whole royal family has training in advanced driving for emergencies like a terrorist attack . Go Liz, go!!
She is renowned for having a wicked sense of humour, including doing impersonations of Thatcher (whom she is said to have hated!)
My all time favorite was and still is "Happy Birthday, love Mum" A birthday card to the USA that was pure Brit.
tag1462 -
"A birthday card to the USA that was pure Brit."
Indeed it is. Many thanks for sharing that one with us Siblings Across the Pond !!
Great stuff................................
" I may be drunk but you are ugly, and in the morning I will be sober but you will still be ugly " Winston Churchill
I believe the quote ends after but in the morning i will be sober.
Lady Astor : " Winston, if I was your wife I would poison your cup of tea."
Churchill : " And if I was your husband I would drink it! "
MY favorite quote from Sir Winston Churchill "A dog will look up to a man, a cat will look down on him, but a pig will look him in the eye and greet him as an equal." He may have been an obese, chronically depressed ginger nob, but Sir Winston Churchill had a way with words!
I also love his reply to a woman who told him " if you were my husband I'd poison your coffee" which was "..and if you were my wife, I'd drink it". Classic.
Is this true? : According to the Daily Mail, after being disturbed while at the toilet by the Lord Privy Seal, Winston Churchill replied, "Tell him I can only deal with one s**t at a time."
"It's only a flesh wound."
-The Black Knight
does fiction count though? because i hate to break it to you but monty python characters arent real
@@saxrendell Yes they are, did you book the full hour argument?
If he ain't British, no one is.
The large mosquito that bit off a leg...from the same group of loonies that worked in a Circus... Said leg was supposed to grow back...
"Really? It looked like a bullet wound to me!" - Peter Sellars (The Goon Show)
"If Hitler invaded hell I would make at least a favourable reference to the devil in the House of Commons."
Churchill.
@liar liarliar Hah! Very true.
Much the *Churchillian, British upper lip.*
During the Falklands war " OE I've lost my leg..!""...no you haven't, there it is..!!"
the crew o one of the sunken ship also started to sing "always look at the bright side of life"
'Tis but a scratch!
My favorite, suitable for many occasions: A member of Parliament, "The honourable member has proven that there is no such thing as unutterable nonsense."
Weather report in a newspaper from the 1950's, "Fog in the Channel; Continent cut off".
I have always loved a quote attributed to Sir Winston Churchill, "If I had Canadian Troops, British Officers and American know how I could conquer the world!" I think that's right, something like that anyway. Roll on Britain! Greetings from Canada.
Deutche Offiziren, Britische Soldaten und Americanische Geld..........
"I can't wear pastels, nobody would know who I am!"
~Lindybeige.
Except you have to lengthen the quote to sixty minutes, with lots of asides.
@@iceguy9723 Yes but they would be interesting asides
"Gentlemen of France, perhaps you would care to fire first?"
Lord Hay, British general, 11 May 1745, Battle of Fontenoy.
Splendid stuff. And even better - it was a genuine offer!
Steve Harrison
More accurately "
"Monsieur ... Pour vous l'honneur du premier coup?"
oh for sure, I can't remember why but whoever fired second with 18th century muskets would certainly have an advantage
@@hansgruber788 That was indeed the theory - because the people who fired first would then take return fire while they were reloading. And hence, according to Voltaire, the French replied to Lord Charles Hay, Captain of the English Guards, who had called out ‘Gentlemen of the French Guards, fire.’ with the response ‘Gentlemen, we never fire first, open fire yourselves.’ If Voltaire's account is correct - and there are several different ones - the theory didn't work, because the first of the British volleys which followed killed nineteen French officers, disrupting their formation sufficiently that they broke and ran.
Steve Harrison
Or more accurately:
"To you the honour of the first shot, Monsieur.
WE FART IN YOUR GENERAL DIRECTION!
When the Queen can say "Annus horribilis" in her Christmas speech(1992)
And no one giggles
That's power
No, that's respect.
"I'm just going outside, i may be some time." - lawrence oates on walking to his death on the 1912 antarctic expedition
Might have been Eddie Izzard (not sure) who said he'd have beaten another guy to death and tossed him out.
I was crestfallen when this quote was not mentioned. As a child it was Oats and Moshe Dayan that made want to sign up with the army.
Larry Jones.
"Er-Captain Oates. A few words before you so nobly leave us?
"You're not going to leave that bloody recording of Michael MacIntyre..are you?"
Exactly who came home and quoted that ?
@@andrewgalloway7344 . I think Capt Scott entered it into his diary.
"The United States and Great Britain are two countries separated by a common language". George Bernard Shaw.
No, oscar wilde, me thinks.
@@jpgrumbach8562 I've also seen it attributed to Winston Churchill and Mark Twain. But Shaw did say (in Pygmalion) that Americans haven't spoken English for years.
The Queen was referring to "being recognized from a great distance." She was talking about being seen by people in a large crowd. She was being kind in the comment, showing respect for those "who take time out of their day to come out to see their Queen."
"Now go away or I will taunt you a second time."
Harry Balzack "Monty Python's The Holy Grail" - SO MUCH better than "The life of Brian." Obviously my own opinion, which doesn't actually count too much! Hehehe
Harry Balzack That was a French sentence, technically.
mikes5637 Ya, I know, I even said it in my head in a French accent while typing. But it is a favorite, and an inside joke about being notified of the video.
I fart in your general direction
I think Life of Brian was the better movie...until I'm watching The Holy Grail...I've seen them both dozens of times...I think I can match any funny line from one movie with the other...two of my personal favorites from LOB..."Let's face it...as empires go, this is the big one." "We tell Pilate he has three days to dismantle the entire imperialist system...or we send her back in pieces." I'm cracking up just thinking about that movie right now
The funniest thing I ever heard a Brit say was “I can’t wait to hoover with my new Dyson“.
We literally call every vacuum a hoover.
This would be like a Yank saying "I can't wait to photocopy with my new xerox"
When you realize everyone speaks English in the marvel universe, which means Britain must have *civilized* the whole universe
FBI Special agents I guess one could say “The sun never reaches the ends of the British Empire,”. Cheers.
@@remyhocage9854 👏🤣
Civilised, my dear friend civilised.
I think that’s pronounced ‘conquered’ old bean....
Did Pluto have a Brexit ?
"... and was once sung by an entire ship while it was sinking'
OK, that one wins.
HMS Coventry, blown up by argentines in the Falklands war
British mentality in one exchange.
"Went to dinner party last night"
"Oh yes, how was the food?"
"Awful, but at least there was lots of it"
Nah. More like, "Awful. Apart from the pudding!"
Ah, the days of rationing... perpetual hunger without ever managing to starve
Things are a bit sticky, sir," Brig Tom Brodie of the Gloucestershire Regiment
His men were outnumbered eight to one, stranded on every side by human waves of Chinese Communist infantry attackers at the height of the Korean war.
But when the British brigadier reported the position to his American superior in the United Nations joint command, he did so with classic and -as it turned out - lethal British understatement.
British soldier known as Sherlock in Afgan in 2007, stood upright on top of a house, silhouetted against the light. No body armour, no helmet, under fire from the Taliban, rifle jammed against his hip loosing bursts of automatic fire whilst lighting a cigarette with his other hand; his LT, prone and in cover, looks up at him and shouts "bloody hell, Sherlock!", Sherlock drops down, looks a little sheepish, fishes out another cigarette and holds it out to the LT, "sorry sir, should have offered". (Junior Officers' Reading Club - Patrick Hennessey).
Lord, I hope that's true about Sherlock.
+E. A. Deasar where can I find record of this?
The Americans were asking very seriously rather or not the Gloucestershire needed reinforcement. That understatement caused those reserves to go elsewhere. Even without any hope of reinforcement the Gloucestershire practically fought to the last man. American Korean War veterans always speak very highly of British and Commonwealth troops.
Yelloh Gezek
You just got it from E.A Deaser. You can trust him...He's English.
Drake finished his game because he was a sailor in a wind-powered vessel.
He knew perfectly well that there was absolutely nothing to be done until the tide changed.
That's why he had time to finish his game.
True - but still cool!
It's true that he had the time, but I think most people would have been too concerned about an impending invasion to finish their game. :p
And lesser commanders would have rushed off to prepare, then sat in port waiting for the wind giving all the sailors time to think how bad the fight would be and the chances of getting hung for desertion if they made a break for it
he also knew that the armada would be within range of his artillery anyway and the ships would have bottomed out before they made progress
Somebody just had to go and get all serious, this was a light hearted look at British wit and dry humour throughout history, not a debate and the chuffing direction of the wind .
Nelson's famous quote "Let me alone: I have yet my legs and one arm. Tell the surgeon to make haste and his instruments. I know I must lose my right arm, so the sooner it's off the better." After being wounded during the attack on Santa Cruz, Tenerife in 1797.
Loved the video. I'd have loved it more if the quotes were repeated at the end of each anecdote than just at the beginning. Cheers!
As an American I always loved British aplomb, your way of shrugging your shoulders during the most dire of circumstances as if to say "It was nothing." I guess that's why Mrs. Miniver is one of my all time favorite movies. Hats off to the British!
caspence56 me too! Mrs Miniver is the saddest film ever. Even just writing the words there choked me up a little.
Just don’t ever knock tea out their hands or you will be written a sternly worded letter and be asked to kindly leave
AuNSHiVA Gibbons I have to say as a Brit I would do more than that if you knocked my tea over. It is the elixir of life you know. Of course it would be
PG Tips or Yorkshire to get that response. Lol
Thanks for noticing, At the moment the rest of Europe thinks we're a pain in the arse.
@@prepperjonpnw6482 We might even tut! And you wouldn't want that
"To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness" - although Oscar Wilde was Anglo-Irish.
What about, "A Haaaaaaaandbaaaaaaaag?"
This is an awesome idea but I think I’d have enjoyed hearing the story first then the quote a lot more.
I am Tammy-Sue
We would have all enjoyed it a bit if you'd included the comment!
Or as the British would put it, “Fine content, but let us discuss the format.”
This makes me so proud to be British!
another favorite: An American film crew had rented part of a castle for a shoot, but actor/writer Charles Grodin had strayed into a part that hadn't been rented and was idly talking to another cast member. The owner of the castle approached them with the gentlest admonishment she could muster and/or the most euphemistically caustic: "IT WOULD BE SO NICE IF YOU WEREN'T HERE." That, to me, sounds veddy British.
Winston Churchill was famous for responding to someone critiquing one of his speeches for ending a sentence with a preposition. His reply below this in the margin was, "This is the sort of thing, up with which I will not put." Never underestimate the British sense of humo(u)r. ;)
You missed Gloucester Hill Brigadier Thomas Brodie and the "Bit sticky" quote. 650 men of the Gloucester Regiment vs a Chinese division, estimated at 10,000 men
canadianhe'stan brilliant
I was going to suggest this, being overrun by an entire army, being forced back everywhere, running out of ammo, guns overheating, fighting with ration cans, on the verge of being cut off and annihilated.
When asked about his situation: "Things are a bit sticky, sir,"
Unfortunately the general was American and understood this to mean 'We're having it a bit rough but we're holding the line'. Any hopes of relief were dashed by an American misunderstanding of British understatement, I guess it can be a drawback too thus xD
Or the half starved, surrounded and seriously out gunned paratroopers at Arnhem, who..... (responding to a German surrender proposal) said, "Sorry, but we simple do not have the facilities .....to take you all prisoner". "Was there anything else"?
Absolutely the best - I was going to comment on it myself. But having done some research, I can't find out if it was ever really said, or is just an inspired piece of film script-writing (I do so hope not). The quote directly comes from a Bridge Too Far, and in the movie is said by Major Carlyle, who is a fictional character heavily based on a real character Major Digby Taham-Warter - he was just the man to have said something like this, in the action he led a charge across the bridge with his umbrella, and ushered a man to safety protecting him with that umbrella - a real British character, brave as a lion, and he survived. But I can't find any verification he said the famous surrender line, unfortunately.
The American reply to the Germans inviting them to surrender at Bastogne when surrounded: "Nuts". Philip of Macedon (father of Alexander the Great) "If I enter Laconia, I will raze Sparta to the ground," the Spartans' reply was, "If." At Thermopylae in 1941 the Australian comment was "Here we are and here we bloody well stay" as they fought a rearguard against the German invasion of Greece.
You missed one of the all-time British quotes:
The circumstances: British Airways flight 9, a 747-200 with service between London, UK and Aukland, NZ, with stops in Bombay and Madras, India, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, and Perth and Melbourne Australia, was at cruising altitude over Indonesia (perhaps coincidentally close to the erupting Mount Galunggung). The weather radar was showing clear skies, which shouldn't be a surprise since weather radar registers precipitation and not volcanic a"vsh. As the engines became clogged with said ash, they began to flame out one after another. While attempting to restart, the captain uttered one of the classic instances of British understatement:
"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. We have a small problem. All four engines have stopped. We are doing our damnedest to get them going again. I trust you are not in too much distress."
-- Captain Eric Moody, captain of British Airways flight 9 and charter member of The Mount Galunggung Glider Club
Volcanic ash apparently doesn't qualify as "British" enough vs the French or the Germans.
It's times like this I'm even prouder to be a Brit. Honestly have no problems with any nationality on the planet, I even like the French (;-)), but being British is damned cool.
What's more they eventually got 3 of the engines restarted, and landed the plane without incident, but without any visibility at all because the windscreen was so sandblasted they had to land on instruments or as he put it " "a bit like negotiating one's way up a badger's arse."" ....
A friend of mine, who is in his nineties but still as sharp as a tack, was the test navigator during the trials of the prototype versions of a number of key British military aircraft in the post-war period. I have heard him describe the situation on one test flight, when there was a loud bang and the engine failed, as "A little local difficulty."
Weird flex but ok
Pretty sure Sea Lord is the rank right before Time Lord.
@@eXa12
X
Which follows which rank depends on whom is asked.
@@anttibjorklund1869 I think, actually, the British joke went over your head.
Sir; how dare you! You know perfectly well that Britannia Rules the Waves, and the Navy is regarded by all who know as 'the Senior Service! Choose your weapons!
@@josephsdale3724 It is the Senior Service. The Royal Navy traces back to 1546 and the Army only to 1645. Also, the British Army is essentially expeditionary and when they want to go somewhere for a scrap, they need a lift. But they don't like to be reminded
My favorite (although it's not a single sentence) is from the 16th Duke of Norfolk, who while on a trip to Australia said, "Gentlemen, I wish this to be an entirely informal tour. You will merely address me as 'Sir. '"
The context: by being a duke, he was in possession of the highest rank of nobility outside the royal family. As such he was entitled to be called not just My Lord or Your Lordship like a mere earl or baron but Your Grace. On top of that, he was also the senior duke (with the oldest title going back the most generations) and thus was individually the highest ranking member of the entire British aristocracy, and whose family had been at the highest level of privilege the longest. Ordering other people to call him "Sir" was thus in his mind a hugely generous relaxation of norms, and a way to show he wasn't stuffy.
"I say, old chap, I understand that you buried your wife last week." "Yes, dead you know."
John Lennon on Ringo Starr: He's not even the best drummer in the Beatles.
Lennon was also a man outclassed, despite his belief otherwise.
@@shebbs1 Outclassed? By whom..? It wasn't McCartney because they scored the same amount of hits.
@@MICKEYISLOWD I terms of humanity. Lennon was a vicious, hypocritical abuser. As for their music, I rather think Lennon thought himself the leader of the band. His attitude towards Ringo shows his terrible attitude towards those he collaborated with.
John Lennon never said that but it's still funny
When are these people going to learn? HMS stands for Her Majesty's Ship so when you are talking about a ship you do NOT use "the" in front of HMS!!!!!
@Matthew Smith why aren't I surprised? You obviously were never in the RN. But more to the point, it is excruciatingly BAD grammar.
Except when it means “His Majesty’s Ship”, of course.
One famous comment from the First World War. 'Sir we are coming under intense artillery fire'. Response -'Yes, they are allowed to do that. It is in the rules'.
“To be born British is to win the lottery of life” -Cecil Rhodes
I'd rather say that shows uncharacteristic arrogance.
Then I’ve won it twice lol. My father who’s entire family emigrated from England then he was born 2 years later was American by virtue of his place of birth. 19 years later he was stationed in southern England married me mum and I was born a year later. So my blood is 100% British but I’m a dual national and spent half my childhood in England and half in America. I have the best of both counties lol
Yeah, Cecil wasn’t the nicest guy...
"The male genitalia, as we can all agree, I think, is, upon first sight, relatively alarming." -- Emma Thompson. 7th Sept 2018
This reminds me of the most American quote I've ever seen.
"Sex is a lot like killing people; It grosses you out the first time you see someone else do it, but damned if it ain't always fun when you do it."
Wait, did I say American?
I meant psychotic, it's the most psychotic quote I've ever seen.
@@ericisprobablyfullofshit7797 - American, psychotic. Same thing, innit?
@@waltergrimminger6191 - Innit though? 😁
What a disappointingly poor command of English Ms Thompson has. I think we all ought to be able to agreee that genitalia, of either sex, are plural.
When HMS Coventry sank during the Falklands war 1982 the lads in the life rafts broke in to
Always look on the bright side of life!
You left out one of the greats, from Captain Lawrence Edward Grace "Titus" Oates (not making that up):
"I'm just going outside. I may be some time."
The context: Robert Scott's ill-fated 1912 Antarctic expedition
The story: Suffering from frostbite and in the middle of a blizzard that hit the despondent team of explorers after they had reached the South Pole just days after a Norwegian team had become the first to get there, Oates decided he was reducing his companions' chances of survival. He said these words to his fellows, stepped out of the tent and was never seen again.
This is why I like the British.
Dear Simon
Thanks for being kind towards the Queen. As a citizen of the colonies (Australia) I'm fiercely supportive of our Queen and have been known to become combative if anyone within earshot takes it upon themselves to aim scorn (or anything worse than scorn) at our beloved Queen. This got me in trouble a number of times at random pubs around the turn of the millennium, when the notion of forming a republic was put to a referendum.
Razer Campbell as an American, I envy the Brits their queen. We often elect presidents who are way too full of themselves and desperately need to be taken down a peg by an unflappable little old lady.
The British Queen has much less power that the American President so the solution to you problem is to remove most of their power until they flap, then take away more of their power until they flap a little less, then take away some more of their power until they stop flapping. Then they will be unflappable.
@Noel Pucarua
Yes... it's convenient when people with your anti-British Constitutional views actually believe they are right, is it not? As you say: when people are in any way threatening, take away their power - with the best method of achieving this being, of course, to let them believe that they still retain said power. For example, it may interest you to know that in the last year of the Cameron Government (i.e. the year before he fell on his own sword following the Brexit disaster which he caused), the Queen refused at least twelve laws presented to her for Royal Asent - including one which proposed transferring ultimate control of the Armed Forces (including the right to declare or end wars) from the Crown (that's her) to the Prime Minister. I wonder why she didn't like that idea?
PS: Remember that *NO* revolution has ever succeeded without the support of the Armed Forces - and ours swear allegiance to the Crown, not the Government. And long may that safeguard - and many others the Queen ensures - last.
Razar Campbell
A republic?! What a dreadful idea. It's just not British.
@@NellSmith A fine summary, even though I support Brexit!
" We shall never surrender"
... and still true today...
winston churchill was a terrible 'man'.
go away snow flake
why?
Because you are a bell end.
"Duty called and called me to obey" Captain Noel Chavasse - Was the only man to be awarded both a Victoria cross and Bar for his service in WW1 and one of only three men to have achieved this distinction.
As a Brit this both amuses me and makes chuffed to be British!
I love hearing Brits talk about British stuff!
British Veteran in Normandy for the 60th D-Day anniversary celebration, Upon meeting an American Lady at Pont du Hoc.
AL. My word sir you have so many medals on your chest, you must have done something very brave.
BV. Yes madam, I saved the lives of over 50 men in my regiment,
AL. How on earth did you do that?
BV. I shot our cook!
I laughed for over an hour as I pushed him around in his wheelchair. RIP “Dolly”.
It would have been so much funnier to give the story and THEN the quote
My favorite English sentence is "Don't duck it won't do any good an the men don't like lt" said by a British officer in World War 1.
Because he didn't duck.
I once read an observation from the first world war that when the war started men were either full of bravado or afraid and safety seeking when faced with combat. Towards the end of the war these men had reversed roles. I think it says something about bravery and cowardice and how people react differently in different contexts so I don't like to judge people on these descriptions as i don't even know what i would be like in the situation.
Winston Churchill was a favourite with the ladies during WW2 when he said, "It will be long, it will be hard and we will not withdraw."
"I begin every sentence with an apology - sorry that's the case, it's just British policy."
- Professor Elemental,
"I'm British"
I do love you Brits.
Kathryn Blodgett ooh thank you 😊
"Well he would say that, wouldn't he?"
Mandy Rice-Davies.
context?
@Ken Hudson John Profumo changed his name to Fumo, he promised his wife he would drop the Pro.
I use this quote all the damn time. I adore it.
At a function given by the Queen and the body guard had farted when a Lord of the rolls said "I say what are you doing farting before the Queen" ? Body guard "Oh Sorry I did not know it was her turn"
Ian Robertson
School boy joke in 1956.
Austin Powers 1996
By the time you've explained the context I've lost track of what the quote was.
Matthew Morris agreed he should repeat the quote again at the end
Wow... How short is your attention span?
Matthew Morris.
I felt exactly the same.
Siera Mike
Cheap Shot!
BTW It's Sierra not Siera.
Top Tenz does RUclips the way it should be done. Casual, professional interesting and full of well put and succinct content. I am wanting to start a blog (different interests). I like your style and the pace is perfect. Thanks
I believe you've forgotten one, Simon, "More tea, Vicar?"
US TV Host: Have you heard of Nicaragua?
Noel Fielding: Yes because we were educated in England
Buckingham Palace Guard: Bloody hell, Your Majesty, I nearly shot you!
The Queen: That's quite all right. Next time I'll ring through beforehand so you don't have to shoot me.
As a Marine stationed at Pearl Harbor I was asked by an older Japanese tourist couple "Where is the Arizona?" I replied "Right where you left it."
LMFAO!!!
OUCH
Awwww yeah
Well played.
I was in Rome in the forum area and an American lady asked me if this was the way out. I replied "well, all roads lead to Rome." She didn't get it.
"I have to tell you now that no such undertaking has been received, and that consequently this country is at war with Germany."
Chamberlain's method of informing his people that they were at war with a country with a larger economy, a much larger army and air force, and nearly twice as many people, must rank in the top 11 most British sentences in history. Apparently there was an air raid warning the same day, too:
The full quote:
"This morning the British Ambassador in Berlin handed the German Government a final Note stating that, unless we heard from them by 11 o'clock that they were prepared at once to withdraw their troops from Poland, a state of war would exist between us.
I have to tell you now that no such undertaking has been received, and that consequently this country is at war with Germany."
Did the air raid happen before 11 o'clock? I think that would constitute a response.
The air raid happened almost immediately. It was a test of the warning system. A bit pointless as no German airfields, or aircraft were in range of Britain at that time.
London and most British cities were well within the range of unescorted bombers flying from Germany. In 1939, the new British radar system was top secret, and still in development. Night fighters were nonexistent. Consequently, a German attack on British in September 1939 was considered likely, not just possible.
What a quote. Should have been on the list. It's 2017 and the country is still at war with Germany.
I'd have to say, on hearing that message, the thoughts of the British people could be summed up in two sentences. "Oh bloody hell, not again." and... "This is your fault, you twat."
I had them play 'Who wants to live forever' at my son's funeral. It was one of his favourite songs.
Love love love all ur vids & channels. Keep em up mate. From ur biggest Aussie fan. Oxoxox