@notasaint6770 That makes sense. The biggest issue with trauma dumping is that it enables people to dwell on their trauma rather than working through it. This inhibits personal growth and by extension, self improvement.👍
@mikevasquez1103 yes I agree. Also I looking back, I see myself as very selfish, for just over sharing and not being strong for others. Honestly don't even know when or who a man should share to. I know everyone has problems.
For a generation laser focused on "consent", "boundaries" and "empathy", they sure don't have a clue how either of those work. Narcissists and main-characters all around.
To be fair, people with NPD often realize they are narcissistic. Narcissists usually aren’t that self-aware. People use that word so much to describe people who are just self-centered or shallow. Also realize that NPD is a personality disorder that affects a person’s everyday life. While they can be abusive it’s not something they can magically cure, and so often they have to get therapy and possibly medication to treat certain behaviors. Just a thought :)
It’s attention seeking behavior pure and simple. How do you get more attention than everyone else? Make sure they feel sympathy for you. That’s the formula.
most people with actual persistent trauma usually being more and more closed, sometimes even to their own family and friends(which makes the trauma even worst) but all this clips nothing have to do with the path to healing. Oh i just wish that my trauma of losing one of my parent can just go away with screaming, like in hollywood movies or that clips. Already try it, nothing works.
100%! Their lives are happy and boring, so they look for drama.....for f*cking content. Meanwhile if something absolutely terrible happened to them, they would not act so flippant...
Seriously, you only get one mom, Taylor will tour again, there will always be another pop star to fawn over. No perspective on what's important in life
Well they were brainwashed into thinking that family only restricts you and prevents you from living your best life according to your own selfish wishes and desires
that one should really backfire on them. All they're doing is showcasing their obsession over material things and attention. Why are people supposed to feel bad for you? you had the opportunity to be with your mom, but you decided to go to a concert instead so you could get a text that your mom died.
Have you experience in hospice or people dying? Some people hang around for their loved one and only die when the loved one leaves. Hearing their loved ones voice keeps them fighting to stick around. That is why talking to somebody badly injured sometimes keeps them alive long enough to receive proper medical care and survive a traumatic injury. For the moms sake them not being around her was likely a blessing.
My biggest issue with that clip is how they were talking about it like it was nothing more than a "shit happens"-kind of a situation and not their mom dying. They showed about as much care and love for their mom as if they were talking about accidentally burning a piece of toast.
@@caseymcalister5016Nahhh.....they all set up their equipment long *BEFORE* they decide to have their meltdowns. And I specifically mean "they" and "their" in the multiple sense.
In my experience. People with genuine trauma, don’t go around advising it or talk about it. Because it’s traumatic for them! They don’t want to relive it in their mind.
We do bring it up when relevant. It's healthy to be able to admit it happened and to warn others of the red flags. Treating it like any other event is a sign of personal progress, not minimizing what happened but that the scars are closing! What's improper is posting a video all about it for likes, sliding it in for attention (aka fishing for compliments) or making your identity all about it. IMHO I have no problem with people having conversations on their break up/ cheating drama on relevant Reddit videos, or mentioning their experiences with predators on videos about cyber stalking and such. I do take issue when it's out of the blue or used like some sort of badge of honor, "I survived so you're weak," kind of attack. You can warn people about creeps in fursuits at conventions, but turning it all about yourself and how the furry movement stalked you and forced you and pity points gimme attention makes it about you rather than a warning/ discussion.
We bring it up when it's relevant with trusted family members or close friends. I think it's bizzare when people share it freely with strangers in person or online or treat it like a personality or style, but you never know if listening to that person dump that one time could help them in the future. Some people won't talk about it at all, but others are so shaken up and confused that they can't stop focusing on it. They want answers and don't trust their own feelings because of the past experiences and desperately need outside opinions. I didn't know what happened to me was that bad until I told some friends at college. I had been staying silent about it for years because I was convinced that I was being sensitive and it wasn't bad at all. I still apologize for dumping on them that day, but at least I learned what happened wasn't normal and that I needed to get help for it. It's exhausting and we do everything we can to move on and not talk about it anymore. To say someone doesn't have real trauma because they're able to talk about it instead of silently bottle it up is a bit unfair. We're not a monolith.
Trauma survivors don't WANT to have trauma. We want to be normal. Trauma dumping is my last option when neither concealing my emotions nor leaving the situation has worked.
As a therapist who specializes in treating trauma, dumping your trauma on the wrong person or wrong setting can actually be harmful. I spend a lot of time helping people learn healthy boundaries and know when and with whom its safe to be vulnerable with.
Where I grew up, it was common to look for people like that and deliberately exploit them. The common people quite recently clicked on and started calling it "trapping", but I've always seen it is a modern manifestation of natural selection - like we don't want people like that living around us, because they're detrimental, so we'd try to at least get some use out of them and then eventually they'd end up getting framed or blamed for something, and then you'd never see them again.
I mean, you can be aware that you’re going to have a breakdown, and prepare yourself and others accordingly. I choose to isolate myself when I’m feeling that way. It’s definitely ridiculous to record yourself having a breakdown for social media. People took “raising awareness” and turned it into this unhinged nonsense.
"My hubby was brutally ended 😭" "Oh, gosh, I'm so sorry... how are you doing?" "Say "Hi" to the internet 🤭" "I see... you're exploiting my compassion for views..."
Trauma bonding - is a psychological phenomenon that occurs when a person develops strong emotional ties to someone who has caused them harm. It is a complex bond that forms between an abuser and their victim, characterized by a cycle of abuse and intermittent reinforcement of reward and punishment. This bond can be so powerful that the victim may feel emotionally dependent on the abuser, making it difficult for them to leave the toxic relationship. (Before, I misunderstood the term to mean, individuals who had traumatic experiences that came together to share their traumatic experiences.)
Funny enough the girl whos dad “abandoned her” to become a break-dancer got exposed by her own father who made a response to it and proved this was a complete lie. I guarantee a lot of these traumas people post online are highly fabricated.
But then the daughter refuted it with her own video saying that he was lying, not only that but he had no "proof", literally all of the stuff both the daughter and the father said is hearsay. Then the father refuted the daughter response video by going into a transphobic and generally distasteful rant. Not to mention the fact that in both of the dad's videos he ended them with a promo of him breakdancing sooooo...... No one to really believe here since neither of them have proof. But ngl I believe the daughter more personally.
@@switz_m3dic317 Of her claim that he was absent and did not help her financially? He proved pretty thoroughly that at least in her younger years he was relatively present, and says leading into her teens she was really the one who created distance, which I believe cuz thats kinda what angsty teens do with their parents. He provided 5M dollars of child support, helped buy her a car, paid her way through college, gave her start up funds out of college, and up until this whole tiktok thing happened their recent text conversations had been nice. She was asking him for money up until only a few months ago and the medical bills he wouldnt cover were for “trauma counseling” over a break up. I believe her feelings and thoughts towards her dad are genuine, but I also think they are not objectively true and really shes a spoiled brat. As someone who comes from a (less fortunate) broken family as well, I spent nearly a decade from the age of 13 hating my mom and thinking she was an awful person. I grew up and realized I was wrong and we have mended our relationship. I hope these 2 will do the same, but airing this out on social media is never how this should have been handled.
@@pamelawilliams2846 Little older. Boomer/GenX cusp. You luckily missed the horrid trends in the 1970s list EST, Primal Scream Therapy, and others which were eerily similar to this. It just wasn't televised but you had people meeting in hotels doing this in front of strangers. We made horrible fun of them as teens. Lol
I worked with an annoying 20 something year old woman who dumped trauma on me. We were talking about music, and I brought up a fun cover song that was released by the Vengaboys, "1999 (I Wanna Go Back)." It was released in 2021. She said she doesn't want to go back to 1999 because she almost died at birth, and starting going into detail about it, and so on. I had to stop her and said, "Be happy and thankful you're here now. I know your parents are thankful, too." She continued to go on and on, and I just ignored her. She made me very uncomfortable and had to create an image of a baby expiring in my head. She was crazy, and loved to make everything all about herself. She didn't care to understand she made people uncomfortable with her trauma dumping.
My ex-best friend did something similar. For a bit of context, she's Russian, and we were in history class and the teacher brought up the nazis. Out of nowhere she started trembling and I asked her what was wrong and she, deadass, turned to me and said "Well, when the nazis invaded Russia, my great grandma sacrificed herself to let some kids scape" and I was like "So what?" And she said, while tearing up "That means that there would've been a chance that I wouldn't had been born" and I just looked at her and said "But... you are here" and she just tried to keep making excuses and calling it "familiar trauma" (though neither her nor her parents experienced it)
Zamn, Vengaboys still exist. This is information I never wanted to know or cared about but am now forced to rember 💀 because it is so unexpected to find here. Well anyway, should have just played the song on max volume over her talking.
@@adrianavanhoofrodriguez576 Eh that's pretty understandable. To you it's like a case of not understanding until it personally affects or affected your life.
@@Un1234l Uhh..i think there's a difference between being triggered by something that actually happened to you in your lifetime, versus being triggered by something that happened 3 generations ago. It just sounds like the ex friend is thinking too deep into it and needs to return to the reality that what her great-gran experienced doesn't really have anything to do with her. Imagine her great-gran actually going through the traumas of war and seeing her great-grandkid reacting as if she'd been there. It would feel rather insulting because it's like the ex-friend is appropriating her great-gran's actual real trauma for her own use. And with he ex-friend's logic, why doesn't her whole family have that trauma then? Just imagine someone saying, omfg, I'm the product of genkhis khan's reign. Every time he's mentioned I feel that trauma of being the product of death and invasion. Yeah, sure, you and 16 million others. Come on now. That's absolutely ridiculous.
@@bn9611 Being one or 2 generations removed from a historical event that could have meant you, your parents, or grandparents would never exist hits close to home. Especially if you live within the lifetime of the person... Raised by grandma. That's way different than being far removed from Genghis Khan. Learning from history and remembering your roots and privileges and not taking them for granted is better than what we have now with modern society taking for granted their freedoms and liberties fought for them by those who came before... living ignorant and entitled and obnoxious because they weren't taught history. They repeat mistakes made throughout history. Pretty much all of our problems now are rooted in people being far removed from history and being sheltered from the brutality of life.
@@holderrrrnameI mean.... technically? Yeah...? Cus the scssors are essentially his hands/fingers, so he would cut your hair by moving his fingers together and apart which would technically be pinching. Dang, this is borderline philosophical, pal. I need to sit on this one.
I read this recently: "Do y’all remember, before the internet, that people thought the cause of stupidity was the lack of access to information? Yeah. It wasn’t that." - And this is 100% true
We've gone from toxic positivity and a 'nobody likes negative people' mentality to being more emo than emo. It's like going to an AA meeting because you want the sympathy rather than your life to get any better. Misery loves company. Nowadays people are narcissistically desperate for company.
We've also gone from "I don't want my history to define who I am / people to feel sorry for me" to making stories up and provoking strangers ("I am a THEY!!) for attention. That's a mental stage appropriate for ten year olds and younger. No shame among these "victims" who want to feel special by doing and contributing nothing
Not only that but with the algorithm and visible engagement through likes and comments and all that it drags others into that circle. Like the Q+ community and "not every disability is visible" people are seeing the attention and jumping on digital trends. Social contagion
My best friend passed away two years ago. You would NEVER catch me posting a tiktok on the subject. Instead of posting my traumatic experience for the whole world to see, I go to my family, friends and therapist like one should. Think about the time these people took to make these tiktoks, including editing them!
I feel your pain, my best friend also died in 2019. Once a year I make a memorial post, nothing too exposing etc. people are insane. A girl I know had a premie that passed away and she set up a camera and filmed herself walking in a hospital gown scream crying. Of course I understand how horrifying that is but like picturing her setting up the camera first is so cringe and makes it feel not genuine
Ok? Some people actually want their friends to be remembered. And if they died in a horrible way, many want to spread awareness. Lost my bestie almost 3 years ago, and 2 more friends since then. I posted about their deaths, but I didn’t post about my attempts after their deaths.
My family barely escaped a brutal civil war. My parents experienced the worst, they watched friends being executed, lost everything and after escaping, they were skin and bones. I have NEVER heard anyone in my family called themselves traumatized, never.
@@zurirobinson2749 Not a flex. You're right, getting help matters. But after not knowing whether my parents were alive or not for months, we were just so happy and thankful to be together again. It's about perspective, we knew kids that never saw their parents again and parents that lost children. Those were the folks with real trauma. We went through a tough time but were so lucky to all have survived.
@@shawna5706 True narcissistic people will always find themselves running out of their favorite junk food more important of a crisis than you getting into a car accident and losing a limb. People looking for attention are histrionic or borderline.
I believe it is due to how society has become more accepting of mental health issues which has slowly morphed into oversharing trauma to strangers on the internet (bonus points if it's purely for sympathy)
@doesthisIookinfected I think for me it has gone full circle tho... "mental health issues" is an excuse for every bad behaviour now and lack of accountability. I am actually sick of people using it and talking about it all the time 🤷♀️
They don’t keep anything private because the modern West has no sense of shame whatsoever. It doesn’t even occur to them that filming themselves screaming is an inherently embarrassing act
@@doesthisIookinfectedyeah I don’t think we are accepting in a healthy way. We’re over correcting from back in the day when mental illness was much less understood. Now we’re going full circle and people think it’s fake more than ever because of people faking it. If people don’t believe me these days I can’t really blame them
In my opionion; those who fake trama, and post it for likes, views, for the "aesthetic", just make it a million times harder, for those who expririence real trama to be belived.
The thing is that 99% of the “trauma” that people go on about online these days isn’t even trauma. It’s a mild inconvenience they blow out of proportion. As if not getting everything they want is traumatizing. Now the word has been used so much it’s starting to lose its meaning, which is sad for those who *have* experienced real trauma.
Recently I read a book on psychology. The way trauma and how to handle traumatised individuals were so extensively detailed disturbed me. As someone who has been traumatised and is studying the darker aspects of human psychology, I can't help but ask why? Why do these 14 year old ａｅｓｔｈｅｔｉｃ✨️she/they✨️ TikTokkers feel the need to say that someone commenting the n word was traumatic? I wish education was more wellspread.
I think filming it is creepy and weird And it sucks because people like that are why mental health or moments of vulnerability are just now seen as attention grabs
As a therapist, it is actually pretty normal for people to hold back and not trauma dump the first session. But some people do and that is okay. As a person, it is a hard sometimes to hear what people go through. I tell my clients to say things that they are comfortable with talking about. Most people hold back from the trauma dumping and that is normal, especially when it comes to a stranger they just met. I find it weird that people trauma dump online. They really need to find an outlet by talking to people they know or finding a therapist to talk to. Posting online doesn't really do much to help with the problem. Sometimes people don't get the validation they are hoping for and that must be hard.
Annoying are those people who tell _everyone_ they meet about their trauma within the first 10 min of conversation. A girl I know then always gets angry months later, when that new friendship fizzles out. It's a false sense of connection.
@@halfbloodprincess989 same thing happened to me. I met this guy on Facebook and he was cool at first, but after like 10 minutes of chatting he started telling me all his trauma and mentall illness. I told him that a therapist can help him, that I can't give him any advice and he was like "yeah that's true", and kept going 😒
That song also saved my life, I leaned over to change the radio in the passenger seat of a car and a metal pole came through the windshield and missed me, if I hadn't changed the channel, I'd be dead, thank you Taylor 😥
When I was a teenager, I was in rehab, and we would hike up the mountain and do scream therapy! It helped with a lot of anger issues, but I never would have filmed It for views. It was such a personal moment to share with the other girls in rehab with me away from our families and technology. It really made a difference. It's so sad people wearing trauma as a costume....
admittedly I have a problem with trauma dumping, tho more so when I was a teen and afterwards I'd be like 'oh shit why did I just say that???' like mouth would work faster than my brain. Now that I'm older if I need to talk about trauma with friends, I warn them on the basics of the issue before I talk so they have a chance to back out because I dont want to risk my trauma affecting them emotionally. thinking on it, it probs stems from my mom and gram trauma dumping on me growing up so to a degree saying fucked up things casually felt normal but yeh I'd see my friend's faces and remember that it is /not/ casual conversation
Oh boy here we go! As a millennial, I am tired of the trauma dumping omg. Glad to see you make a video on this! Also, as a former starbucks barista and server, I can confirm this happens often
I cope with dark humor regarding my own trauma WITH PEOPLE WHO ARE FINE WITH IT OR MYSELF. I don’t see a reason to bring up my trauma unprompted?? I mean, yeah, if I think it’d help, I’ll try to relate to folks who need consolation to let them know they aren’t alone, or share something if asked (and there’s a reason for it), BUT I’M NOT GOING TO GO TO BURGER KING AND EXPLAIN MY LIFE FROM 2011-PRESENT??
my rules to live by; Don't ask for my opinion if you don't want to hear it, I avoid sharing for a reason. And don't press to know why I'm laughing at my phone, it could be seriously messed up, but I don't show people unless I know that's their jam too.
I work a retail job and while im working im at a counter with a case full of cheeses so I have a ton of customer interactions and you wouldnt believe how often people walk up to me and tell me horrible things they are going through. Im just a lady selling cheese WHY its so akward.
@@ConservativeGrouch you poor baby! I hope you can recover from this highly traumatic experience. May I interest you in some traumacore moodboards to ease the pain? Perhaps some earrape literal ear cancer "music" that's trending on TikTok?
Misha you are 100% right, we don’t know whether or not these people are lying. As someone who has associated with someone like this irl, it has trickled into the everyday world and it’s even more exhausting. I don’t like to throw the word around, but it is very narcissistic & I think this is a big reason why so many friendships and relationships can’t last; people are ridiculously self centered. Let’s not mention how some of these people use their trauma to manipulate others. ETA: The “collective trauma” is also very problematic. You have people who haven’t experienced something at all, who are just experiencing life, or who are going through said event getting depressed, discouraged, or suffering even more because they’re on social media listening to & consuming content of other people’s trauma, whom as you said we don’t know whether or not these people are lying. It’s energy vampirism. Connecting with people online about issues we as humans go through is helpful & I’m not discounting true victims or issues, but lately it’s been very draining and dark. It’s a lot of professional victimhood afoot.
My opinion about the two girls going to the Taylor Swift concert while their mother was at the hospice differs a bit from the majority here. Firstly, they explained that they were at their mother's side 24/7 for a few weeks, so it's not that they didn't spend time with her before she died. Secondly, when a close family member of me died, they wanted us to live and experience beautiful things and not sit around, waiting for death to happen. They would have sent me personally to go to a concert just to enjoy myself a bit. And often, people who are already dying, are able to "let go" easier when they know their loved ones are not sitting around them, crying. So I don't really blame them for going to the concert. I'm sure their dad was also fine with it, probably even suggested it to cheer them up a little bit. Being young and being surrounded by death (of a close family member) for many days is very difficult and depressing. Thirdly, while I think not making a video about it at all would be the best, their awkward laughing came across to me as that - being awkward and nervous. And maybe playing down their grief. It's not uncommon for people to awkwardly laugh and giggle when they feel uncomfortable. That's my interpretation of this situation.
100% I stayed by my grandmothers side until 2 hours before she died as i headed home to sleep If i had magically known shed die 2 hours later, id have stayed of course You cant just pause life because someone is in hospice and she was there for a very long time I dont think their video was that bad either, they awkwardly shared something, in a somewhat honest manner WITHOUT exploiting some baristas empathy lol. I couldnt really care if people make videos where they are the only subject, because theres no victims or bystanders and you can only really blame the viewers for endorsing idiots If attention seeking wasnt so lucrative itd stop
There is a phenomenon of people seeming to wait to die until loved ones step away, its like they don't want to burden them with those final breath memories or just want a bit of privacy and peace as they exit
I stock shelves and helped an older gentleman find some products to clean his oven. It somehow turned into a conversation about how his daughter had an abortion and he doesn't talk to her any more because he feels like she murdered his grandbaby. Like sir please I just work here 😶
1:26;OK look it's the Hollywood screenwriter who lied about her dad twice and when he defended himself with receipts she privatized her account and one of her sisters called her out as a liar.
Her dad was there for her more than my dad was for me growing up, and I have a great relationship with my dad and I love him very much lol she has some serious delusions, her dad seems so cool and like an awesome dad. I would have felt so blessed to have a dad like that.
I once matched with a girl on tinder and within five minutes she was like “Hey can we talk on the phone?” And she proceeded to talk my ear off about how her ex got her pregnant, hired his buddies to beat the crap out of her to cause a miscarriage; and when that didn’t work, her ex kicked her down the stairs and killed the baby. I knew this person for 60 minutes. This conversation went on so long it killed my phone battery which was at like 48% at the start.
my sister who is a teacher calls this "attention-seeking behavior." Children who have a bad home life seek attention whether its from their good or bad behavior. alot of times it is easier to acquire the attention theyre seeking from misbehaving or causing an outburst. some don't grow out of it I guess. I wonder if this is a byproduct of the high Gen X divorce rates.
I think its a biproduct of children (particularly those who were children when i was one) consulting the internet and oversharing, making cuddle spaces on there where its ok to be toxic and demanding of others attention They grew up neglected and doing this and now its normal
Those of us with actual trauma don’t have time to record a physical trauma reaction and we also don’t feel the need to share our traumatic experiences with the world… because they are traumatic. These people who make “trauma dumping” videos have no respect for people who have been through traumatic events and make a mockery out of trauma itself. It’s disgusting and they have no clue about what actually happens in the world.
On the therapy note. There's a difference between seeking help by speaking with a therapist and trauma dumping. These people trauma dumping DON'T want a resolution. They are seeking attention and sympathy. The point of therapy is to help identify the issues you have and work towards resolving or at the very least, managing them.
Exactly. Therapy will not work for someone who doesn't want to heal. Once they heal from their trauma they no longer have that source of attention/social leverage.
It’s like so many things people struggle with, narcissists devoid of any actual personality “adopt” them as some cute, trendy fashion statement that dilutes it. Speaking from my own struggles, it sucks and I wish I didn’t have to deal with them. I even find them kind of embarrassing and I certainly wouldn’t use them as a way to go “look at how quirky I am”
Trauma dumping feels similar to oversharing, which is a common trait in people with ADHD. And tons of people have ADHD so I'm not surprised this is happening.
I think it's more that ADHD is the new quirky thing that people want (alongside autism and BPD) and doctors will happily diagnose their patients with it for more money. Mmm gotta love that money 🤑
As someone who has been through some messed up things, I just want to point out that 'laughing' about one's own trauma is kind of a defense mechanism when one is super overloaded, it doesn't mean the person thinks it's actually funny.
Seems like people are either becoming lonelier and have fewer or less close friends they can talk about this to, or people aren't getting raised properly to understand social boundaries and propriety.
Even before social media, I was always suspicious of people who shared very personal things soon after meeting. I don’t see how it’s not manipulative and a bit unhinged.
worked in the only coffee shop/food not from a vending machine, that was open 24/7 in a hospital and i did the graveyard shift. wed get alot of people just burst into tears and just start dumping on us. "ive been here for hours", " my X person is here today for X reason" , " my drunk friend fell down the stairs". it just made my shift sadder and i couldnt help them. i didnt have a secret pass to make things better. i really didnt need that then, i had my own problems and its a dark time of my life now.
5:37 she’s already getting attention and care from the girls around her. Why did she post it? I’ll tell you why, because this is textbook narcissism, I know that word has been thrown around a lot in the past five years, but this is actual narcissism.
thank you!!! all these people do not have trauma!!! if they had, they’d be doing the exact opposite of this bullshit! it makes me feel so fucking ridiculous
I literally would've sat there next to her 24/7. I dunno why people in my generation are so careless about things that actually matter and they throw a hissy fit or scramble over things that are so insignificant
The girls in the Taylor swift concert just seemed so... Dismissive over their mother dying, like I would be with my mother as long as I can, and I would stay up with her and hold her hand.. so many people have lost their mothers and fathers to cancer and they had a chance to be with their mother but they didn't take it and it's awful of them
Agree with everything besides the part about the therapists. It may depends on an a type of therapy but most of the times the first sessions are not for trauma dumping and there is a reason to that. Psychologist need to know the background, context and other information to be able to accually help you with the problem. Furthermore, when you trauma dumping first, the specialist may have difficulty to even make a calming and favorable environment for this. Please guys take it into account when you about to go on therapy
As someone who just recently reduced oversharing online, um...oh dang, these videos made me uncomfortable 😭. I owe my remaining twitter/x followers an apology. Thank you as always for your service and patience, Misha.
Many of us have been guilty of this honestly its why its good a conversation has opened about it, we live and learn! I have some very embarassing memories of oversharing, im glad i at least never did it in front of a camera.
this is just another chapter in a long process - several years ago, I was one of 7 performers (poets/comedians) at a spoken word night and the only one who didn't talk about suicidal thoughts and attempts as part of my act. People evidently think that feeling bad makes them special.
The girl crying at the TS concert can’t act to save her life. I miss (and wish) the days in the 90s where the only thing that the intent was used for was school essays, grainy and cringy MySpace photos. 10:56 Apt etc for Rent: No TikTokers need apply. Can you imagine the neighbours who have to hear that? 🙄🤦🏻♀️
I've been through my shit, but I don't flat out just post it... I only talk about it if it relates to something. Like... Why do people do this? Most people who have actually been through something traumatic don't WANT to talk about it...
I think most people have shared more online than they should at some point. I don't think that's uncommon at all. The issue is when you do it for attention and, on learning that you receive a dopamine hit, continue to do so. As someone who grew up in a household run by a narcissist, I encourage those who don't have trauma in their lives to get a hobby. Crochet is a hobby; writing is a hobby; skateboarding is a hobby; photography is a hobby. You know what's not a hobby? Pretending that you have trauma because you had a pretty okay life and now you're having meltdowns that are more serious than my autistic ones (I was diagnosed at the University of Michigan hospital in the '90s) so that you can get clicks.
Holy crap I'm glad there wasn't a willing audience for every cringey thing I may have been compelled to share when I was fhat age. I can barely handle the cringey things that one or two people saw me do in person over the last 30 years.
2:33 I disagree, a lot of these people who make the traumacore videos are deeply lost. I was in that position once. Due to lack of counseling or therapy, I had nowhere or nobody to turn to. Eventually it stopped being a serious matter to me and I would consistently turn the matter of my mental health into a joke. I remember posting text of personal things on public TikTok videos and using a comedic video or sound over it.
Not even a closest friend or family member. sometimes they don’t wanna hear it. Ask,”hey can I tell you my trauma” or “can I tell you something personal” don’t just assume the closest and most trustworthy person you know wants to always hear your struggle or trauma
It's atrocious that these types of people don't recognize that every day folks are not equipped to provide the appropriate level of support and has serious impacts on the people who are forced to listen.
thanks for this video. I used to do trauma dumping, but only in a particular setting: if someone asked me for a personal question but they meant to make small talk, for example I did tell them the whole story. My logic is, don’t want to hear the answer don’t ask. But you are definitely right and it also takes a lot of energy so now I just reply to every personal question: I don’t want to talk about it
Thanks for being rational for the internet, I am grateful for your voice of reason along with subscribers who agree. Thank you also for reminding me why I will never watch TikTok.
The most cringe trauma dump is from years ago. There's a room full of gamers and this girl was knitting, she announces to whole room that the reason she's knitting is because her nan died. It makes everything uncomfortable for everyone else, time and a place
Trauma dumping is a variant of main character syndrome.
Exactly.
I use too tramua dump long time ago. I stopped it. I've become a better person
YES!! It's just total narcissism
@notasaint6770
That makes sense. The biggest issue with trauma dumping is that it enables people to dwell on their trauma rather than working through it.
This inhibits personal growth and by extension, self improvement.👍
@mikevasquez1103 yes I agree. Also I looking back, I see myself as very selfish, for just over sharing and not being strong for others. Honestly don't even know when or who a man should share to. I know everyone has problems.
For a generation laser focused on "consent", "boundaries" and "empathy", they sure don't have a clue how either of those work. Narcissists and main-characters all around.
@benice222me Stop hating on your mom. She tried her best with you.
@benice222me oh look if it isn't the narcisistic behavior of blaming everybody else but yourself
@benice222me someone sure didn't get smacked as a kid...
As a fan of Kanye West and a narcissist, I'd say it's all Kanye's fault.
To be fair, people with NPD often realize they are narcissistic. Narcissists usually aren’t that self-aware. People use that word so much to describe people who are just self-centered or shallow.
Also realize that NPD is a personality disorder that affects a person’s everyday life. While they can be abusive it’s not something they can magically cure, and so often they have to get therapy and possibly medication to treat certain behaviors.
Just a thought :)
People are obsessed with being traumatized. They love being pitied.
That's how you can tell they haven't actually gone through it.
@@Sapanator So true.
Victim mentality
They should watch I Survived.
I despise my generation.
As a person with severe clinically diagnosed ptsd, I do NOT understand why you would *want* to be traumatized. It wrecks your damn life.
Throwing the term "trauma" around also significantly undermines the severity of the actual diagnosis
It’s attention seeking behavior pure and simple. How do you get more attention than everyone else? Make sure they feel sympathy for you. That’s the formula.
most people with actual persistent trauma usually being more and more closed, sometimes even to their own family and friends(which makes the trauma even worst) but all this clips nothing have to do with the path to healing. Oh i just wish that my trauma of losing one of my parent can just go away with screaming, like in hollywood movies or that clips. Already try it, nothing works.
They want to feel special as if they’re the main character
100%! Their lives are happy and boring, so they look for drama.....for f*cking content. Meanwhile if something absolutely terrible happened to them, they would not act so flippant...
The two girls who went to the Taylor Swift concert while their mom was in hospice make me really, really sad.
Seriously, you only get one mom, Taylor will tour again, there will always be another pop star to fawn over. No perspective on what's important in life
Well they were brainwashed into thinking that family only restricts you and prevents you from living your best life according to your own selfish wishes and desires
that one should really backfire on them. All they're doing is showcasing their obsession over material things and attention. Why are people supposed to feel bad for you? you had the opportunity to be with your mom, but you decided to go to a concert instead so you could get a text that your mom died.
Have you experience in hospice or people dying? Some people hang around for their loved one and only die when the loved one leaves. Hearing their loved ones voice keeps them fighting to stick around. That is why talking to somebody badly injured sometimes keeps them alive long enough to receive proper medical care and survive a traumatic injury. For the moms sake them not being around her was likely a blessing.
My biggest issue with that clip is how they were talking about it like it was nothing more than a "shit happens"-kind of a situation and not their mom dying. They showed about as much care and love for their mom as if they were talking about accidentally burning a piece of toast.
Anyone who purposefully sets up a camera and films themselves screaming or crying is to be avoided at all costs.
100% agreed I’ve always said this and anytime I point this out on a video everyone despises me and says I’m just a bully.
@ani-ma-tion5326
The individuals who called you a bully, are actual cry-bullies. So consider the source.
imagine being in a middle of a mental breakdown and suddenlly thinking "oh wait, I need to grab my camera and film it!"
@@caseymcalister5016Nahhh.....they all set up their equipment long *BEFORE* they decide to have their meltdowns. And I specifically mean "they" and "their" in the multiple sense.
In my experience.
People with genuine trauma, don’t go around advising it or talk about it.
Because it’s traumatic for them!
They don’t want to relive it in their mind.
We do bring it up when relevant. It's healthy to be able to admit it happened and to warn others of the red flags. Treating it like any other event is a sign of personal progress, not minimizing what happened but that the scars are closing! What's improper is posting a video all about it for likes, sliding it in for attention (aka fishing for compliments) or making your identity all about it.
IMHO I have no problem with people having conversations on their break up/ cheating drama on relevant Reddit videos, or mentioning their experiences with predators on videos about cyber stalking and such. I do take issue when it's out of the blue or used like some sort of badge of honor, "I survived so you're weak," kind of attack. You can warn people about creeps in fursuits at conventions, but turning it all about yourself and how the furry movement stalked you and forced you and pity points gimme attention makes it about you rather than a warning/ discussion.
We bring it up when it's relevant with trusted family members or close friends. I think it's bizzare when people share it freely with strangers in person or online or treat it like a personality or style, but you never know if listening to that person dump that one time could help them in the future. Some people won't talk about it at all, but others are so shaken up and confused that they can't stop focusing on it. They want answers and don't trust their own feelings because of the past experiences and desperately need outside opinions. I didn't know what happened to me was that bad until I told some friends at college. I had been staying silent about it for years because I was convinced that I was being sensitive and it wasn't bad at all. I still apologize for dumping on them that day, but at least I learned what happened wasn't normal and that I needed to get help for it. It's exhausting and we do everything we can to move on and not talk about it anymore. To say someone doesn't have real trauma because they're able to talk about it instead of silently bottle it up is a bit unfair. We're not a monolith.
Exactly, I repress that nonsense 😂
Trauma survivors don't WANT to have trauma. We want to be normal. Trauma dumping is my last option when neither concealing my emotions nor leaving the situation has worked.
I've been through some shit. I don't even like to think about it let alone speak of it
As a therapist who specializes in treating trauma, dumping your trauma on the wrong person or wrong setting can actually be harmful. I spend a lot of time helping people learn healthy boundaries and know when and with whom its safe to be vulnerable with.
Can confirm, I learned that lesson the hard way.
Where I grew up, it was common to look for people like that and deliberately exploit them. The common people quite recently clicked on and started calling it "trapping", but I've always seen it is a modern manifestation of natural selection - like we don't want people like that living around us, because they're detrimental, so we'd try to at least get some use out of them and then eventually they'd end up getting framed or blamed for something, and then you'd never see them again.
A breakdown is spontaneous. Planned spontaneity is an oxymoron.
I mean, you can be aware that you’re going to have a breakdown, and prepare yourself and others accordingly. I choose to isolate myself when I’m feeling that way. It’s definitely ridiculous to record yourself having a breakdown for social media. People took “raising awareness” and turned it into this unhinged nonsense.
😂😂😂😂
"My hubby was brutally ended 😭"
"Oh, gosh, I'm so sorry... how are you doing?"
"Say "Hi" to the internet 🤭"
"I see... you're exploiting my compassion for views..."
trauma dumping as well as trauma bonding is doing this society so much harm atm.
What is the alternative? 🤨
Edit: My apologies I didn’t know what trauma bonding meant, I misunderstood the term.
@@saftheartist6137 Being a normal human and working through those issues by yourself with the support of people you know
Most people misuse the term trauma bonding, these people don’t even know what it means
@@Someone_call_Ron you have a point, I recently misunderstood the term.
Trauma bonding - is a psychological phenomenon that occurs when a person develops strong emotional ties to someone who has caused them harm. It is a complex bond that forms between an abuser and their victim, characterized by a cycle of abuse and intermittent reinforcement of reward and punishment. This bond can be so powerful that the victim may feel emotionally dependent on the abuser, making it difficult for them to leave the toxic relationship.
(Before, I misunderstood the term to mean, individuals who had traumatic experiences that came together to share their traumatic experiences.)
Funny enough the girl whos dad “abandoned her” to become a break-dancer got exposed by her own father who made a response to it and proved this was a complete lie. I guarantee a lot of these traumas people post online are highly fabricated.
But then the daughter refuted it with her own video saying that he was lying, not only that but he had no "proof", literally all of the stuff both the daughter and the father said is hearsay. Then the father refuted the daughter response video by going into a transphobic and generally distasteful rant. Not to mention the fact that in both of the dad's videos he ended them with a promo of him breakdancing sooooo...... No one to really believe here since neither of them have proof. But ngl I believe the daughter more personally.
@@switz_m3dic317 Of her claim that he was absent and did not help her financially? He proved pretty thoroughly that at least in her younger years he was relatively present, and says leading into her teens she was really the one who created distance, which I believe cuz thats kinda what angsty teens do with their parents.
He provided 5M dollars of child support, helped buy her a car, paid her way through college, gave her start up funds out of college, and up until this whole tiktok thing happened their recent text conversations had been nice. She was asking him for money up until only a few months ago and the medical bills he wouldnt cover were for “trauma counseling” over a break up.
I believe her feelings and thoughts towards her dad are genuine, but I also think they are not objectively true and really shes a spoiled brat. As someone who comes from a (less fortunate) broken family as well, I spent nearly a decade from the age of 13 hating my mom and thinking she was an awful person. I grew up and realized I was wrong and we have mended our relationship. I hope these 2 will do the same, but airing this out on social media is never how this should have been handled.
Both parties sound like real winners to me.
Imagine arguing with your daughter on toktok for millions to see instead of just grounding her and removing phone privileges.
@@switz_m3dic317bro what is this bs this sounds straight out from family guy
I prefer to have my meltdowns in the privacy of my shower. Where no one can hear me crying. 😂😂
Same but it's a bath. Or both sometimes 😂
You were raised right! Lol 😂😂😂
@@donpietruk1517 I’m on the gen x/millennial cusp. I swear it’s mainly gem z. We were lucky to be raised before smart phones.
@@pamelawilliams2846 Little older. Boomer/GenX cusp. You luckily missed the horrid trends in the 1970s list EST, Primal Scream Therapy, and others which were eerily similar to this. It just wasn't televised but you had people meeting in hotels doing this in front of strangers. We made horrible fun of them as teens. Lol
The good ole fashion way.
Peace to All
Schroëdinger's feelings: they only take form and become real when others can see them.
Meow
This is the very epitome of "Sir, this is a Wendy's" meme
"I don't get paid enough."
Or "Sorry about your personal life mam but here's your fries"
Was looking for this 😂
“I missed the part where that’s my problem”
I worked with an annoying 20 something year old woman who dumped trauma on me. We were talking about music, and I brought up a fun cover song that was released by the Vengaboys, "1999 (I Wanna Go Back)." It was released in 2021. She said she doesn't want to go back to 1999 because she almost died at birth, and starting going into detail about it, and so on. I had to stop her and said, "Be happy and thankful you're here now. I know your parents are thankful, too." She continued to go on and on, and I just ignored her. She made me very uncomfortable and had to create an image of a baby expiring in my head. She was crazy, and loved to make everything all about herself. She didn't care to understand she made people uncomfortable with her trauma dumping.
My ex-best friend did something similar. For a bit of context, she's Russian, and we were in history class and the teacher brought up the nazis. Out of nowhere she started trembling and I asked her what was wrong and she, deadass, turned to me and said "Well, when the nazis invaded Russia, my great grandma sacrificed herself to let some kids scape" and I was like "So what?" And she said, while tearing up "That means that there would've been a chance that I wouldn't had been born" and I just looked at her and said "But... you are here" and she just tried to keep making excuses and calling it "familiar trauma" (though neither her nor her parents experienced it)
Zamn, Vengaboys still exist. This is information I never wanted to know or cared about but am now forced to rember 💀 because it is so unexpected to find here. Well anyway, should have just played the song on max volume over her talking.
@@adrianavanhoofrodriguez576
Eh that's pretty understandable. To you it's like a case of not understanding until it personally affects or affected your life.
@@Un1234l Uhh..i think there's a difference between being triggered by something that actually happened to you in your lifetime, versus being triggered by something that happened 3 generations ago. It just sounds like the ex friend is thinking too deep into it and needs to return to the reality that what her great-gran experienced doesn't really have anything to do with her. Imagine her great-gran actually going through the traumas of war and seeing her great-grandkid reacting as if she'd been there. It would feel rather insulting because it's like the ex-friend is appropriating her great-gran's actual real trauma for her own use. And with he ex-friend's logic, why doesn't her whole family have that trauma then?
Just imagine someone saying, omfg, I'm the product of genkhis khan's reign. Every time he's mentioned I feel that trauma of being the product of death and invasion. Yeah, sure, you and 16 million others. Come on now. That's absolutely ridiculous.
@@bn9611
Being one or 2 generations removed from a historical event that could have meant you, your parents, or grandparents would never exist hits close to home. Especially if you live within the lifetime of the person... Raised by grandma. That's way different than being far removed from Genghis Khan.
Learning from history and remembering your roots and privileges and not taking them for granted is better than what we have now with modern society taking for granted their freedoms and liberties fought for them by those who came before... living ignorant and entitled and obnoxious because they weren't taught history. They repeat mistakes made throughout history. Pretty much all of our problems now are rooted in people being far removed from history and being sheltered from the brutality of life.
"Is it okay if I touch you" reasonable request if your hairdresser is Edward Scissorhand's
😂😂 yessss
Or Sweeney Todd.
@@holderrrrnameI mean.... technically? Yeah...? Cus the scssors are essentially his hands/fingers, so he would cut your hair by moving his fingers together and apart which would technically be pinching. Dang, this is borderline philosophical, pal. I need to sit on this one.
I read this recently: "Do y’all remember, before the internet, that people thought the cause of stupidity was the lack of access to information? Yeah. It wasn’t that." - And this is 100% true
Information is good, the bad thing is that amount of bs that is on the internet
We've gone from toxic positivity and a 'nobody likes negative people' mentality to being more emo than emo. It's like going to an AA meeting because you want the sympathy rather than your life to get any better.
Misery loves company. Nowadays people are narcissistically desperate for company.
It's like bringing a six-pack to an AA meeting.
Easier than actually trying to deal with your emotions and issues in a healthy way. That requires discipline and willpower
We've also gone from "I don't want my history to define who I am / people to feel sorry for me" to making stories up and provoking strangers ("I am a THEY!!) for attention. That's a mental stage appropriate for ten year olds and younger. No shame among these "victims" who want to feel special by doing and contributing nothing
Not only that but with the algorithm and visible engagement through likes and comments and all that it drags others into that circle. Like the Q+ community and "not every disability is visible" people are seeing the attention and jumping on digital trends. Social contagion
My best friend passed away two years ago. You would NEVER catch me posting a tiktok on the subject. Instead of posting my traumatic experience for the whole world to see, I go to my family, friends and therapist like one should. Think about the time these people took to make these tiktoks, including editing them!
I feel your pain, my best friend also died in 2019. Once a year I make a memorial post, nothing too exposing etc. people are insane. A girl I know had a premie that passed away and she set up a camera and filmed herself walking in a hospital gown scream crying. Of course I understand how horrifying that is but like picturing her setting up the camera first is so cringe and makes it feel not genuine
I'm so sorry 😢❤
We caught you posting on RUclips comments section... 🤷🏻♂️
@@sterlingarcher2366 You don’t see me going into detail about it though, that’s the difference.
Ok? Some people actually want their friends to be remembered. And if they died in a horrible way, many want to spread awareness. Lost my bestie almost 3 years ago, and 2 more friends since then. I posted about their deaths, but I didn’t post about my attempts after their deaths.
The screaming lady is insane lmfao.
I was wondering the same as Misha, if the lady was possessed and this was an actual exorcism.
That lady is the reason why I think demons exist lmfao
Which one? Lol
@@DeRone22what i was going o say😅
@@mamc1986or someone who thinks everyone needs to hear her mind-blowing orgasm
My family barely escaped a brutal civil war. My parents experienced the worst, they watched friends being executed, lost everything and after escaping, they were skin and bones. I have NEVER heard anyone in my family called themselves traumatized, never.
That's horrible... I'm so sorry.
That's actually horrible and not a flex? Not getting the help you need does not make you a stronger person.
@@zurirobinson2749 Not a flex. You're right, getting help matters. But after not knowing whether my parents were alive or not for months, we were just so happy and thankful to be together again. It's about perspective, we knew kids that never saw their parents again and parents that lost children. Those were the folks with real trauma. We went through a tough time but were so lucky to all have survived.
@@MtnMig 👏 👏 👏 YES!
@@DutchIsraeli Thanks. It's all good. We made it through and we are thankful for still having each other.
Nobody knows how to keep anything to themselves these days. That's why you see so many obnoxious people online.
@@shawna5706 True narcissistic people will always find themselves running out of their favorite junk food more important of a crisis than you getting into a car accident and losing a limb. People looking for attention are histrionic or borderline.
I believe it is due to how society has become more accepting of mental health issues which has slowly morphed into oversharing trauma to strangers on the internet (bonus points if it's purely for sympathy)
@doesthisIookinfected I think for me it has gone full circle tho... "mental health issues" is an excuse for every bad behaviour now and lack of accountability. I am actually sick of people using it and talking about it all the time 🤷♀️
They don’t keep anything private because the modern West has no sense of shame whatsoever. It doesn’t even occur to them that filming themselves screaming is an inherently embarrassing act
@@doesthisIookinfectedyeah I don’t think we are accepting in a healthy way. We’re over correcting from back in the day when mental illness was much less understood. Now we’re going full circle and people think it’s fake more than ever because of people faking it. If people don’t believe me these days I can’t really blame them
In my opionion; those who fake trama, and post it for likes, views, for the "aesthetic", just make it a million times harder, for those who expririence real trama to be belived.
Her swifty tears sound about as genuine as Dane Cook's laughter.🙄
I’m an embarrassed Aussie after watching that Swifty nutter. Luckily she is 4,000 km from me. Luckily for her I mean.
@@classicscustomsandhotrodso600 lol. Truth.
@@classicscustomsandhotrodso600lmaooo
If the set list was posted, it was all staged for likes clicks and comments
@@UncleMikeDrop timestamp?
The thing is that 99% of the “trauma” that people go on about online these days isn’t even trauma. It’s a mild inconvenience they blow out of proportion. As if not getting everything they want is traumatizing. Now the word has been used so much it’s starting to lose its meaning, which is sad for those who *have* experienced real trauma.
Recently I read a book on psychology. The way trauma and how to handle traumatised individuals were so extensively detailed disturbed me. As someone who has been traumatised and is studying the darker aspects of human psychology, I can't help but ask why? Why do these 14 year old ａｅｓｔｈｅｔｉｃ✨️she/they✨️ TikTokkers feel the need to say that someone commenting the n word was traumatic? I wish education was more wellspread.
Strange, I remember having one absolute mental breakdown, but never thought of filming that low point of my life for internet.
I think filming it is creepy and weird
And it sucks because people like that are why mental health or moments of vulnerability are just now seen as attention grabs
As a therapist, it is actually pretty normal for people to hold back and not trauma dump the first session. But some people do and that is okay. As a person, it is a hard sometimes to hear what people go through. I tell my clients to say things that they are comfortable with talking about. Most people hold back from the trauma dumping and that is normal, especially when it comes to a stranger they just met. I find it weird that people trauma dump online. They really need to find an outlet by talking to people they know or finding a therapist to talk to. Posting online doesn't really do much to help with the problem. Sometimes people don't get the validation they are hoping for and that must be hard.
Annoying are those people who tell _everyone_ they meet about their trauma within the first 10 min of conversation. A girl I know then always gets angry months later, when that new friendship fizzles out. It's a false sense of connection.
They are the Vegans of trauma.
I don't believe that the people who trama-dump online are actually interested in healing their trama. They just want to re-establish their victimhood.
@@halfbloodprincess989 same thing happened to me. I met this guy on Facebook and he was cool at first, but after like 10 minutes of chatting he started telling me all his trauma and mentall illness. I told him that a therapist can help him, that I can't give him any advice and he was like "yeah that's true", and kept going 😒
That song also saved my life, I leaned over to change the radio in the passenger seat of a car and a metal pole came through the windshield and missed me, if I hadn't changed the channel, I'd be dead, thank you Taylor 😥
Oh my dear god 😱
rofl
#Swifty #LivingMyBestLife
Way to trauma dump my friend, get a therapist please
Thanks a lot for that, now I’m traumatised by your trauma-dumping smh
When I was a teenager, I was in rehab, and we would hike up the mountain and do scream therapy! It helped with a lot of anger issues, but I never would have filmed It for views. It was such a personal moment to share with the other girls in rehab with me away from our families and technology. It really made a difference. It's so sad people wearing trauma as a costume....
Society is literally regressing before our eyes...
The televised, so to speak, mental institution known as TikTok.
Anyone with a TikTok account should really do themselves a favor by deleting it.
We as humans like problems. We like to solve them. If we don't have problems, we create them.
the duality of man, serving its created purpose
Yep. This.
Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it.
Not having a problem seems to be their problem
admittedly I have a problem with trauma dumping, tho more so when I was a teen and afterwards I'd be like 'oh shit why did I just say that???' like mouth would work faster than my brain. Now that I'm older if I need to talk about trauma with friends, I warn them on the basics of the issue before I talk so they have a chance to back out because I dont want to risk my trauma affecting them emotionally. thinking on it, it probs stems from my mom and gram trauma dumping on me growing up so to a degree saying fucked up things casually felt normal but yeh I'd see my friend's faces and remember that it is /not/ casual conversation
literally same but when I was like 12
Oh boy here we go!
As a millennial, I am tired of the trauma dumping omg. Glad to see you make a video on this!
Also, as a former starbucks barista and server, I can confirm this happens often
There's a version of "I Knew You Were Trouble" with a screaming goat. It still makes me laugh when I listen to it. 10/10. That goat needs an agent.
That sounds hilarious do you have a link?
@@LegendWolfA as a matter of fact m.ruclips.net/video/-aLYvZ5sX28/видео.html
ruclips.net/video/-aLYvZ5sX28/видео.html@@LegendWolfA
I listened to it like 10 years ago
I cope with dark humor regarding my own trauma WITH PEOPLE WHO ARE FINE WITH IT OR MYSELF.
I don’t see a reason to bring up my trauma unprompted?? I mean, yeah, if I think it’d help, I’ll try to relate to folks who need consolation to let them know they aren’t alone, or share something if asked (and there’s a reason for it), BUT I’M NOT GOING TO GO TO BURGER KING AND EXPLAIN MY LIFE FROM 2011-PRESENT??
my rules to live by;
Don't ask for my opinion if you don't want to hear it, I avoid sharing for a reason.
And don't press to know why I'm laughing at my phone, it could be seriously messed up, but I don't show people unless I know that's their jam too.
@@Transformers2Fan1 *THIS*
I work a retail job and while im working im at a counter with a case full of cheeses so I have a ton of customer interactions and you wouldnt believe how often people walk up to me and tell me horrible things they are going through. Im just a lady selling cheese WHY its so akward.
if someone starts “trauma dumping” with their cell phone out for TikTok im going to make it really weird. it is my duty “my calling” if you will 😂
I lost a quarter down a sewer grate last month. I need for someone to start a GoFundMe so I can cope with this.
@@ConservativeGrouch you poor baby! I hope you can recover from this highly traumatic experience. May I interest you in some traumacore moodboards to ease the pain? Perhaps some earrape literal ear cancer "music" that's trending on TikTok?
@@Twiddle_thingsI'm recovering, thanks! My stocks rebounded by over $3,800 so my grief has been assuaged.
@@Twiddle_thingsI thanked you for your support the other day and my comment was deleted! Seriously!
Misha you are 100% right, we don’t know whether or not these people are lying. As someone who has associated with someone like this irl, it has trickled into the everyday world and it’s even more exhausting. I don’t like to throw the word around, but it is very narcissistic & I think this is a big reason why so many friendships and relationships can’t last; people are ridiculously self centered. Let’s not mention how some of these people use their trauma to manipulate others.
ETA: The “collective trauma” is also very problematic. You have people who haven’t experienced something at all, who are just experiencing life, or who are going through said event getting depressed, discouraged, or suffering even more because they’re on social media listening to & consuming content of other people’s trauma, whom as you said we don’t know whether or not these people are lying. It’s energy vampirism. Connecting with people online about issues we as humans go through is helpful & I’m not discounting true victims or issues, but lately it’s been very draining and dark. It’s a lot of professional victimhood afoot.
These people are awesome. They're telling everyone publicly they should be avoided at all costs.
My opinion about the two girls going to the Taylor Swift concert while their mother was at the hospice differs a bit from the majority here.
Firstly, they explained that they were at their mother's side 24/7 for a few weeks, so it's not that they didn't spend time with her before she died.
Secondly, when a close family member of me died, they wanted us to live and experience beautiful things and not sit around, waiting for death to happen. They would have sent me personally to go to a concert just to enjoy myself a bit. And often, people who are already dying, are able to "let go" easier when they know their loved ones are not sitting around them, crying.
So I don't really blame them for going to the concert. I'm sure their dad was also fine with it, probably even suggested it to cheer them up a little bit. Being young and being surrounded by death (of a close family member) for many days is very difficult and depressing.
Thirdly, while I think not making a video about it at all would be the best, their awkward laughing came across to me as that - being awkward and nervous. And maybe playing down their grief. It's not uncommon for people to awkwardly laugh and giggle when they feel uncomfortable.
That's my interpretation of this situation.
I agree with you.
100%
I stayed by my grandmothers side until 2 hours before she died as i headed home to sleep
If i had magically known shed die 2 hours later, id have stayed of course
You cant just pause life because someone is in hospice and she was there for a very long time
I dont think their video was that bad either, they awkwardly shared something, in a somewhat honest manner WITHOUT exploiting some baristas empathy lol.
I couldnt really care if people make videos where they are the only subject, because theres no victims or bystanders and you can only really blame the viewers for endorsing idiots
If attention seeking wasnt so lucrative itd stop
There is a phenomenon of people seeming to wait to die until loved ones step away, its like they don't want to burden them with those final breath memories or just want a bit of privacy and peace as they exit
gonna be honest if i was a cashier and some rando was trauma dumping. id just quit.
I stock shelves and helped an older gentleman find some products to clean his oven. It somehow turned into a conversation about how his daughter had an abortion and he doesn't talk to her any more because he feels like she murdered his grandbaby. Like sir please I just work here 😶
Nothing is private anymore... it's actually making me have less empathy for people 🙃
1:26;OK look it's the Hollywood screenwriter who lied about her dad twice and when he defended himself with receipts she privatized her account and one of her sisters called her out as a liar.
Who would have thought a Hollywood screenwriter was an attention seeking liar
Her dad was there for her more than my dad was for me growing up, and I have a great relationship with my dad and I love him very much lol she has some serious delusions, her dad seems so cool and like an awesome dad. I would have felt so blessed to have a dad like that.
I once matched with a girl on tinder and within five minutes she was like “Hey can we talk on the phone?” And she proceeded to talk my ear off about how her ex got her pregnant, hired his buddies to beat the crap out of her to cause a miscarriage; and when that didn’t work, her ex kicked her down the stairs and killed the baby. I knew this person for 60 minutes. This conversation went on so long it killed my phone battery which was at like 48% at the start.
my sister who is a teacher calls this "attention-seeking behavior." Children who have a bad home life seek attention whether its from their good or bad behavior. alot of times it is easier to acquire the attention theyre seeking from misbehaving or causing an outburst.
some don't grow out of it I guess.
I wonder if this is a byproduct of the high Gen X divorce rates.
either from the high divorce rates, just horrible parenting in general, or could be both && it’s horrible co-parenting 🫠
I think its a biproduct of children (particularly those who were children when i was one) consulting the internet and oversharing, making cuddle spaces on there where its ok to be toxic and demanding of others attention
They grew up neglected and doing this and now its normal
Those of us with actual trauma don’t have time to record a physical trauma reaction and we also don’t feel the need to share our traumatic experiences with the world… because they are traumatic. These people who make “trauma dumping” videos have no respect for people who have been through traumatic events and make a mockery out of trauma itself. It’s disgusting and they have no clue about what actually happens in the world.
Your comment has to be on the top.
On the therapy note. There's a difference between seeking help by speaking with a therapist and trauma dumping. These people trauma dumping DON'T want a resolution. They are seeking attention and sympathy. The point of therapy is to help identify the issues you have and work towards resolving or at the very least, managing them.
Exactly. Therapy will not work for someone who doesn't want to heal. Once they heal from their trauma they no longer have that source of attention/social leverage.
I have trauma. It's not cool. It sucks.
It’s like so many things people struggle with, narcissists devoid of any actual personality “adopt” them as some cute, trendy fashion statement that dilutes it. Speaking from my own struggles, it sucks and I wish I didn’t have to deal with them. I even find them kind of embarrassing and I certainly wouldn’t use them as a way to go “look at how quirky I am”
I'm so so sorry but I'm so proud of you, keeping you in my prayers❤
"Look at me!" syndrome.
to be honest trauma core videos with those empty rooms and weird places help me process events in my life that i struggle to face on my own.
Trauma dumping has always existed. It's just a bigger audience now.
as someone with legitimate horrific childhood trauma its so annoying how losers want to claim trauma just to justify being losers.good video.
Trauma dumping feels similar to oversharing, which is a common trait in people with ADHD. And tons of people have ADHD so I'm not surprised this is happening.
It’s not remotely the same thing. Trust me I don’t trauma dump but I do over share and I do have ADHD.
Trauma dumping is a form of over sharing, it’s oversharing but just about “trauma”.
I think it's more that ADHD is the new quirky thing that people want (alongside autism and BPD) and doctors will happily diagnose their patients with it for more money. Mmm gotta love that money 🤑
As someone who has been through some messed up things, I just want to point out that 'laughing' about one's own trauma is kind of a defense mechanism when one is super overloaded, it doesn't mean the person thinks it's actually funny.
Seems like people are either becoming lonelier and have fewer or less close friends they can talk about this to, or people aren't getting raised properly to understand social boundaries and propriety.
Also a sign of weakness and an insatiable need for pity.
Even before social media, I was always suspicious of people who shared very personal things soon after meeting. I don’t see how it’s not manipulative and a bit unhinged.
Content... Anything for content. They get to feel special for a moment. I guess they never look at all the others and realise they're one among many.
It’s one reason people like social media. Everyone’s telling you how important you are. But in real life you’re just another tool to be used.
Normalize having private moments and talking about traumatic things with loved ones instead of putting them online
I agree, only a few people on this earth know what ails me.
I’m a big fan of your endlessly acrobatic cat -it’s like a bonus to the great content
There’s 3 things I refuse to give out because I can’t get it back: 1) money, 2) time, 3) my personal information
Thank God for young ladies like you.
I’m a simple man
I see a fresh misha upload
I click play
I'll admit, I like seeing her fashion choices too.
I’m simple too, I’ve been watching the cats fight in the background instead of listening 😂
I absolutely love trauma dump videos.
It is a great reassurance that our opponents are the lunatics.
If you have truly experienced trauma you do not want to talk about it, let alone post it online for strangers.
worked in the only coffee shop/food not from a vending machine, that was open 24/7 in a hospital and i did the graveyard shift. wed get alot of people just burst into tears and just start dumping on us. "ive been here for hours", " my X person is here today for X reason" , " my drunk friend fell down the stairs". it just made my shift sadder and i couldnt help them. i didnt have a secret pass to make things better. i really didnt need that then, i had my own problems and its a dark time of my life now.
5:37 she’s already getting attention and care from the girls around her. Why did she post it? I’ll tell you why, because this is textbook narcissism, I know that word has been thrown around a lot in the past five years, but this is actual narcissism.
thank you!!! all these people do not have trauma!!! if they had, they’d be doing the exact opposite of this bullshit! it makes me feel so fucking ridiculous
The sisters who went to go to a TS concert while their mom is in hospice? That is beyond messed up imo.
Sad and disturbing. 😢 Poor mom.
tfw a Taylor Swift concert is more important to you than being there for your mom in her final moments
I literally would've sat there next to her 24/7. I dunno why people in my generation are so careless about things that actually matter and they throw a hissy fit or scramble over things that are so insignificant
And being dolled up in nightclubbing outfits while they talk about it
The girls in the Taylor swift concert just seemed so... Dismissive over their mother dying, like I would be with my mother as long as I can, and I would stay up with her and hold her hand.. so many people have lost their mothers and fathers to cancer and they had a chance to be with their mother but they didn't take it and it's awful of them
This is exactly why I’m no longer on Facebook. Way too much of this and coddling. Love your content!
I love your cat being silly in the background😂
Agree with everything besides the part about the therapists. It may depends on an a type of therapy but most of the times the first sessions are not for trauma dumping and there is a reason to that. Psychologist need to know the background, context and other information to be able to accually help you with the problem. Furthermore, when you trauma dumping first, the specialist may have difficulty to even make a calming and favorable environment for this.
Please guys take it into account when you about to go on therapy
Omg TS singing one of her songs at her concert. The unexpected trauma!
Excellent broadcast 👏 happy international woman's day 🎉
Almost everybody had tragic moments in their life.
If i were to worry about every tik-tok about this i wouldn't be able to worry about myself...
No one has time to hear everyone’s story. No one can remember everyone’s story.
How did I not find ur channel earlier. Ur actually based and like I love ur content
Reverse empathy: you must care what i think and feel. You feelings don't matter.
As someone who just recently reduced oversharing online, um...oh dang, these videos made me uncomfortable 😭. I owe my remaining twitter/x followers an apology.
Thank you as always for your service and patience, Misha.
Many of us have been guilty of this honestly its why its good a conversation has opened about it, we live and learn!
I have some very embarassing memories of oversharing, im glad i at least never did it in front of a camera.
Dude I have legit trauma and I’m embarrassed as shit of it you won’t catch me sharing it
this is just another chapter in a long process - several years ago, I was one of 7 performers (poets/comedians) at a spoken word night and the only one who didn't talk about suicidal thoughts and attempts as part of my act. People evidently think that feeling bad makes them special.
This one made me subscribe, you’re so spot on.
The girl crying at the TS concert can’t act to save her life. I miss (and wish) the days in the 90s where the only thing that the intent was used for was school essays, grainy and cringy MySpace photos. 10:56 Apt etc for Rent: No TikTokers need apply. Can you imagine the neighbours who have to hear that? 🙄🤦🏻♀️
I've been through my shit, but I don't flat out just post it... I only talk about it if it relates to something. Like... Why do people do this? Most people who have actually been through something traumatic don't WANT to talk about it...
I think most people have shared more online than they should at some point. I don't think that's uncommon at all. The issue is when you do it for attention and, on learning that you receive a dopamine hit, continue to do so. As someone who grew up in a household run by a narcissist, I encourage those who don't have trauma in their lives to get a hobby.
Crochet is a hobby; writing is a hobby; skateboarding is a hobby; photography is a hobby. You know what's not a hobby? Pretending that you have trauma because you had a pretty okay life and now you're having meltdowns that are more serious than my autistic ones (I was diagnosed at the University of Michigan hospital in the '90s) so that you can get clicks.
I do so appreciate you Misha, it gives me hope there are at least a few members of your generation are sane!
Trauma is not cute it isn't quirky it is a life long crap fest that I thank God he got me through
Holy crap I'm glad there wasn't a willing audience for every cringey thing I may have been compelled to share when I was fhat age. I can barely handle the cringey things that one or two people saw me do in person over the last 30 years.
2:33 I disagree, a lot of these people who make the traumacore videos are deeply lost. I was in that position once. Due to lack of counseling or therapy, I had nowhere or nobody to turn to. Eventually it stopped being a serious matter to me and I would consistently turn the matter of my mental health into a joke. I remember posting text of personal things on public TikTok videos and using a comedic video or sound over it.
Not even a closest friend or family member. sometimes they don’t wanna hear it. Ask,”hey can I tell you my trauma” or “can I tell you something personal” don’t just assume the closest and most trustworthy person you know wants to always hear your struggle or trauma
7:16 i said "oooh she has a cat!!" and then the other one popped out and i said "OOOOOH THERE'S TWO OF THEM!!"
The level of narcissism is unfathomable
It's atrocious that these types of people don't recognize that every day folks are not equipped to provide the appropriate level of support and has serious impacts on the people who are forced to listen.
thanks for this video. I used to do trauma dumping, but only in a particular setting: if someone asked me for a personal question but they meant to make small talk, for example I did tell them the whole story. My logic is, don’t want to hear the answer don’t ask. But you are definitely right and it also takes a lot of energy so now I just reply to every personal question: I don’t want to talk about it
4:31 me hearing the lyrics:
_'Strumming my pain with his fingers, singing my life with his words...'_
Thanks for being rational for the internet, I am grateful for your voice of reason along with subscribers who agree. Thank you also for reminding me why I will never watch TikTok.
"I sympathize, but you should talk to someone else about that cause I'm here to provide fast food drive through service."
Is what I would say.
The most cringe trauma dump is from years ago. There's a room full of gamers and this girl was knitting, she announces to whole room that the reason she's knitting is because her nan died.
It makes everything uncomfortable for everyone else, time and a place
I don't understand Taylor Swift fans...her music is horrible. Just an opinion.