Marriage is ideal, faithful and loving until death. ❤ However, if your spouse is violent and cheating on you-you need to escape your marriage the orthodox church knows this and therefore gives room for divorce and also provides healing for you after the divorce. oikonomia. It’s a tragic reality in this present time that murders by domestic partners is ever increasing. Yes we can aim and focus on the beauty of the ideal but we cannot forget the reality of the culture that we live in. There are boundaries that when crossed that party in the marriage has chosen to destroy their marriage and their spouse. Their spouse should not feel obligated to endure violence in the name of the ideal. May God bless all of our marriages and may he protect anyone who is in harms way at this time.
The ideal is not merely “beautiful”. It is ESSENTIAL. We are supposed to aim for holiness, and not consider our own fallenness to be “OK”. That ideal means that you might have to see a spouse locked up in prison or an insane asylum, or simply die - but he/she remains your husband/wife. Not only is the scenario you describe not grounds for remarriage, but is not even really grounds for divorce. In the hardcore ultimate ideal, even unfaithfulness of the other should not be seen as ending your own faithfulness, even if it means lifelong celibacy from then on.
@@grant2149most of us who’ve escaped these relationships are normally too traumatised to let anyone get that close to us ever again. The Lord is the only one who can be trusted to be close to our hearts.
keep telling yourself that… “violence” yes but male cheating is not a thing in the Bible… have fun being divorced single mom in the modern dating scene with most men wanting to “keep it casual”… no priest is going to tell you this because they are mostly clueless…
Some 36 years ago, my wife at the time committed adultery with both my own Dad and another man, later leaving me and filing for divorce (against my wishes even after all of that). Now, 29 years later I am celebrating my 29th anniversary with a woman I met at Church - a good Christian woman who has been faithful and given me four wonderful children. I have carried rejection and condemnation by Churches for that long --- today, watching this video, I am hearing something I don't think I have ever heard: I can be healed? We have been thinking of becoming Orthodox here in the UK, and investigating and watching and reading as much as we can. I have held back because I just don't see a way through for me. And then you say I can be healed? Is this real???
NOTHING is more real than what Christ can do with your heart and your life. Come to Him just as you are, for He will not reject you, nor will His Holy Orthodox Church.
Thank you Metropolitan Jonah. Your point that a church, that doesn’t honour and celebrate consecrated virginity, is ultimately a church that doesn’t honour and celebrate marriage, was profound. I will be chewing on that word for a while. All praise His All-Holy Name.
When I was in 10th grade I got married to someone 10 years older than me. It wasn’t a marriage from love, but instead guilty, manipulation, and grooming a child. I was very depressed because I tried to force myself to love him intimately, but no matter what I couldn’t. Intercourse was painful because I didn’t want it, I begged God to change my heart, I saw a psychiatrist and was put on meds, I even asked my doctor for advice, nothing worked. I finally got away years after, we have 2 kids together. I’m currently living with my bf and we have a kid together too. I believe in God though and I’m just now learning about orthodoxy and want to go to the church but I feel unworthy because of my situation. The thought of me having to be married to him again makes me physically unwell. 😔 so I don’t know if I can do what God asked me.
@@katydeckervocalstudio5084 yes. But I’m afraid to go. I’m afraid the priest will tell me I can’t join the church because I left my husband. I was just a kid, 2 weeks after I turned 18, he was 28, knowing I was a confused child. I had no family or guidance, I didn’t know how seriously God spoke about marriage. I’m afraid it’s too late for me now. I can beg for forgiveness everyday but in his eyes I’m an adulterous woman. I wish I never got married so young. This pain I feel is too much to bear. 😔 but maybe it’s my test, or what I’m supposed to do? I don’t know 😔 the thought of going back to that makes me feel sick.
I will simply repeat what has been said earlier, and strongly urge you to speak with an Orthodox priest. As to your state, don't try to heal yourself, for you will fail. Come to Jesus just as you are, put all your trust in Him, and begin to follow Him, and He will cleanse your soul and make you a new person.
@@katydeckervocalstudio5084 there is one an hour away the Greek holy trinity Orthodox Church I’m going this Sunday but I think they want me to attend a few times before I talk with a priest
Some of us did not grow up in healthy families and had to endure divorce hardships like our parents sleeping around, constantly bringing new partners in, creating an unsafe environment because they were both working to take care of their own homes leaving the kids by themselves or with strangers, etc. My parents instead of parenting took me and my siblings to psychiatrists from a young age and we were drugged up. My brother eventually died from one of the drugs he became addicted to and I am permanently in bad health because I grew up on a cocktail of pharmaceutical amphetamines that were unnecessary. It's almost impossible for loving Christian families to relate or even connect with those who by the time they were adults had a ton of emotional, physical and spiritual defects from essentially being not properly nurtured.
0:00 The Moral Code nurtures Healthy Families, Healthy Individuals, Healthy Children. 0:24 Identity, Unique Persons. Personhood comes from Relationships. 1:00 Breaking of Relationships damages one’s self-concept. 1:33 Divorce disrupts Family. It was unthinkable until around the 1940s. + Husbands and Wives work out their difficulties, and maintain a Forever Union In Christ. 2:47 Marriage is a Sacred, Consecrated, Union, between 2 people who have united themselves to one and other in Christ by The Spirit. 3:23 The Lord’s Teaching is strict about Divorce. - Lust is already committing adultery. - divorce is committing adultery 4:36 Through the weakness of the flesh, The Church grew more lenient. “Is it unto Salvation?” 6:03 People get themselves involved in all sorts of things. We all sin, we all fall short, join the club. 8:00 Ideal • Couple love in their youth • Full dedication to each other • Remain Married until death. 10:00 10-15 Children. It’s alot of work, but it creates very strong families. It needs to be as God gives, not my selfishness. 11:55 Divorce is Pain, no wonder our culture is nuts, you’ve got people who are hurting so much. Looking for consolation wherever they can find it. 12:18 This is a grave problem.
My wife was unfaithful and left me. I dont want to get remarried. Im contemplating monasticism, but I won't be free to as long as I must pay alimony. Lord have mercy!
Christ is quoted in the Gospel as saying that divorce is permissible in the case of adultery. Paul says in 1 Corinthians that if an unbelieving spouse abandons you then you a not bound in such circumstances. However, neither of them say if remarriage is permissible in such circumstances. Surely if you have been abandoned or cheated on by your spouse it would be reasonable to remarry without it effecting one's salvation? Please clarify.
The orthodox teaches you can remarry under certain circumstances though its not viewed very well. The catholic church completely condemns this only allowing remarriage after annulments or when one spouse dies. Divorce in the catholic church means separation between spouses but without the ability to remarry unless the other dies. Divorce in the orthodox church means separation between spouses while allowing one to remarry but on the condition that the divorce is for a valid reason according to them like fornication, etc. However, in the Bible, matthew 5:32 explicitly condemns remarriage for divorced people where both spouses are still alive.
As a Roman Catholic, this is a bit confusing. You said on the one hand that it’s a myth that an orthodox Christian can marry up to 3 times, then you say the church allows it. But then you say it is “not unto salvation”. I have no idea how to reconcile those three statements. I do not want to caricature orthodoxy so please clarify- 1) does orthodoxy allow for divorce and remarrriage or is that a myth? 2) does orthodoxy recognize the second )or third) marriage as legitimate AS WELL AS the 1st or ONLY the new marriage? 3) what do you mean by “not unto salvation”? 4) given that Christ calls remarriage “adultery”, does orthodoxy agree with Him? Thanks. Peace.
Marriage is ideal, faithful and loving until death. ❤
However, if your spouse is violent and cheating on you-you need to escape your marriage the orthodox church knows this and therefore gives room for divorce and also provides healing for you after the divorce. oikonomia. It’s a tragic reality in this present time that murders by domestic partners is ever increasing. Yes we can aim and focus on the beauty of the ideal but we cannot forget the reality of the culture that we live in. There are boundaries that when crossed that party in the marriage has chosen to destroy their marriage and their spouse. Their spouse should not feel obligated to endure violence in the name of the ideal. May God bless all of our marriages and may he protect anyone who is in harms way at this time.
God bless you!
Still NOT gtounds for remarriage.
The ideal is not merely “beautiful”. It is ESSENTIAL. We are supposed to aim for holiness, and not consider our own fallenness to be “OK”. That ideal means that you might have to see a spouse locked up in prison or an insane asylum, or simply die - but he/she remains your husband/wife. Not only is the scenario you describe not grounds for remarriage, but is not even really grounds for divorce. In the hardcore ultimate ideal, even unfaithfulness of the other should not be seen as ending your own faithfulness, even if it means lifelong celibacy from then on.
@@grant2149most of us who’ve escaped these relationships are normally too traumatised to let anyone get that close to us ever again. The Lord is the only one who can be trusted to be close to our hearts.
keep telling yourself that… “violence” yes but male cheating is not a thing in the Bible… have fun being divorced single mom in the modern dating scene with most men wanting to “keep it casual”… no priest is going to tell you this because they are mostly clueless…
Some 36 years ago, my wife at the time committed adultery with both my own Dad and another man, later leaving me and filing for divorce (against my wishes even after all of that). Now, 29 years later I am celebrating my 29th anniversary with a woman I met at Church - a good Christian woman who has been faithful and given me four wonderful children. I have carried rejection and condemnation by Churches for that long --- today, watching this video, I am hearing something I don't think I have ever heard: I can be healed? We have been thinking of becoming Orthodox here in the UK, and investigating and watching and reading as much as we can. I have held back because I just don't see a way through for me. And then you say I can be healed? Is this real???
God bless you!
NOTHING is more real than what Christ can do with your heart and your life. Come to Him just as you are, for He will not reject you, nor will His Holy Orthodox Church.
Thank you Metropolitan Jonah. Your point that a church, that doesn’t honour and celebrate consecrated virginity, is ultimately a church that doesn’t honour and celebrate marriage, was profound. I will be chewing on that word for a while. All praise His All-Holy Name.
a man doesn’t have to be a virgin at marriage because he can have multiple wives
When I was in 10th grade I got married to someone 10 years older than me. It wasn’t a marriage from love, but instead guilty, manipulation, and grooming a child. I was very depressed because I tried to force myself to love him intimately, but no matter what I couldn’t. Intercourse was painful because I didn’t want it, I begged God to change my heart, I saw a psychiatrist and was put on meds, I even asked my doctor for advice, nothing worked. I finally got away years after, we have 2 kids together. I’m currently living with my bf and we have a kid together too. I believe in God though and I’m just now learning about orthodoxy and want to go to the church but I feel unworthy because of my situation. The thought of me having to be married to him again makes me physically unwell. 😔 so I don’t know if I can do what God asked me.
Definitely consider Orthodoxy. Talking to a priest at an Orthodox Church may really help as well. Do you have one near you ?
@@katydeckervocalstudio5084 yes. But I’m afraid to go. I’m afraid the priest will tell me I can’t join the church because I left my husband. I was just a kid, 2 weeks after I turned 18, he was 28, knowing I was a confused child. I had no family or guidance, I didn’t know how seriously God spoke about marriage. I’m afraid it’s too late for me now. I can beg for forgiveness everyday but in his eyes I’m an adulterous woman. I wish I never got married so young. This pain I feel is too much to bear. 😔 but maybe it’s my test, or what I’m supposed to do? I don’t know 😔 the thought of going back to that makes me feel sick.
I will simply repeat what has been said earlier, and strongly urge you to speak with an Orthodox priest. As to your state, don't try to heal yourself, for you will fail. Come to Jesus just as you are, put all your trust in Him, and begin to follow Him, and He will cleanse your soul and make you a new person.
@@katydeckervocalstudio5084 there is one an hour away the Greek holy trinity Orthodox Church I’m going this Sunday but I think they want me to attend a few times before I talk with a priest
@@slytlygufy amen to that. I plan on going to the Orthodox Church Sunday. I don’t know if I can speak with the priest right away though.
Some of us did not grow up in healthy families and had to endure divorce hardships like our parents sleeping around, constantly bringing new partners in, creating an unsafe environment because they were both working to take care of their own homes leaving the kids by themselves or with strangers, etc. My parents instead of parenting took me and my siblings to psychiatrists from a young age and we were drugged up. My brother eventually died from one of the drugs he became addicted to and I am permanently in bad health because I grew up on a cocktail of pharmaceutical amphetamines that were unnecessary.
It's almost impossible for loving Christian families to relate or even connect with those who by the time they were adults had a ton of emotional, physical and spiritual defects from essentially being not properly nurtured.
0:00 The Moral Code nurtures Healthy Families, Healthy Individuals, Healthy Children.
0:24 Identity, Unique Persons. Personhood comes from Relationships.
1:00 Breaking of Relationships damages one’s self-concept.
1:33 Divorce disrupts Family. It was unthinkable until around the 1940s.
+ Husbands and Wives work out their difficulties, and maintain a Forever Union In Christ.
2:47 Marriage is a Sacred, Consecrated, Union, between 2 people who have united themselves to one and other in Christ by The Spirit.
3:23 The Lord’s Teaching is strict about Divorce.
- Lust is already committing adultery.
- divorce is committing adultery
4:36 Through the weakness of the flesh, The Church grew more lenient.
“Is it unto Salvation?”
6:03 People get themselves involved in all sorts of things. We all sin, we all fall short, join the club.
8:00 Ideal
• Couple love in their youth
• Full dedication to each other
• Remain Married until death.
10:00 10-15 Children. It’s alot of work, but it creates very strong families. It needs to be as God gives, not my selfishness.
11:55 Divorce is Pain, no wonder our culture is nuts, you’ve got people who are hurting so much. Looking for consolation wherever they can find it. 12:18 This is a grave problem.
How many children 😮
Thank you Metropolitan Jonah
My wife was unfaithful and left me. I dont want to get remarried. Im contemplating monasticism, but I won't be free to as long as I must pay alimony. Lord have mercy!
This is a nice ideal. I wish it were the reality. Or, that the Church would actually hold the offending spouse accountable.
Awesome talk. Truth❤ so i guess i am divorced till i leave this world.
I'm right there with you
What do you mean when you say something is or is not unto salvation?
Christ is quoted in the Gospel as saying that divorce is permissible in the case of adultery. Paul says in 1 Corinthians that if an unbelieving spouse abandons you then you a not bound in such circumstances. However, neither of them say if remarriage is permissible in such circumstances. Surely if you have been abandoned or cheated on by your spouse it would be reasonable to remarry without it effecting one's salvation? Please clarify.
The orthodox teaches you can remarry under certain circumstances though its not viewed very well. The catholic church completely condemns this only allowing remarriage after annulments or when one spouse dies. Divorce in the catholic church means separation between spouses but without the ability to remarry unless the other dies. Divorce in the orthodox church means separation between spouses while allowing one to remarry but on the condition that the divorce is for a valid reason according to them like fornication, etc.
However, in the Bible, matthew 5:32 explicitly condemns remarriage for divorced people where both spouses are still alive.
everything said here is accurate.. but married men having
Sex with another woman is not the Biblical definition of “adultery”…
As a Roman Catholic, this is a bit confusing. You said on the one hand that it’s a myth that an orthodox Christian can marry up to 3 times, then you say the church allows it. But then you say it is “not unto salvation”. I have no idea how to reconcile those three statements. I do not want to caricature orthodoxy so please clarify-
1) does orthodoxy allow for divorce and remarrriage or is that a myth?
2) does orthodoxy recognize the second )or third) marriage as legitimate AS WELL AS the 1st or ONLY the new marriage?
3) what do you mean by “not unto salvation”?
4) given that Christ calls remarriage “adultery”, does orthodoxy agree with Him?
Thanks.
Peace.