Women wanting it to be all about them ? Shocking !!!!!! We men already knew about this fantasy. We've lived with it our whole life. Fantasy #4. A man who is tall, handsome, muscular with wealth and status. He will give her anything she wants and do everything possible to make her happy. While not asking for anything in return and not having her take any accountability for her actions or decisions.
One thing I’ve learned about women is when they are young, their expectations are through the roof. Why? If you 25 and reasonably attractive, the world treats you like a movie star so why wouldn’t you expect Brad Pitt. Now when looks fade they start to come back down to earth. The power dynamic changes and suddenly the kind thoughtful man becomes the catch.
OP is only half-right. Women may say they want such a man to cater to them, but they will lose interest and respect if you do. Example: Tom Brady. He treated Gisele too nice, and women translate nice = weak. So Tom got treated like a "nice guy" that's still 16-years-old.
Oof, someone's been hurt and hasn't healed from it. Go figure yourself out. From one man to another, you are wayyyy too negative. Definitely showing some trauma.
My wife has decided the kids are grown and she doesn’t want to do sex anymore. This has gone on for three years. I’m seriously thinking about leaving or finding a willing woman outside my marriage. I feel fully justified now. I’ve waited long enough. So now I’ll be the jerk, but I don’t care anymore. I didn’t enter the priesthood via marriage.
That really sucks man. There are so many reasons that a marriage can fail, but I'm quite certain that this one is very high up there. What's crazy to me is that if you take the time to really pleasure your woman AND she admits that it feels very good to her, why on earth would a woman not want to engage in sex anymore? Sexual intimacy is a huge deal to most men, and quite a few women as well. It's no wonder that when it's withheld, people may stray. Maybe you can lovingly explain to her how much hurt this causes you and you can't go in without sex in your marriage? Good luck man. I feel for you.
About 6 years ago my wife of 26 years and I took an online quiz on a whim. We found several fantasies and desires that were completely unexpected. Communication is KEY
My wife has this fantasy that I will, unsolicited, tear apart our existing, nice, wooden shed with its own existing wooden ramp and totally build a new one just so we can "put our stamp on it." Now that's sheer fantasy.
My very messy and disorganized GF got on my nerve so once i told her a bit irritated that "can't you just get your shit together or you will stand naked cooking and get spanked"..and she .."eh yes .."...
Unfortunately most women won’t share a fantasy with a husband because she doesn’t want him to know that about her but she will tell it to the one night stand she met on a girls trip.
Exactly. Women think the man will not respect them, take advantage of her if they know, and think she is a sex crazed slut. If you want to turn up the heat, initiate getting far nastier than you think when you do the nasty.
@@mikemuha7537 Correct. Do you think women tell their girlfriends, "Yeah, it was pretty vanilla, some of the most average sex of my life" when they want to brag or compare notes? No. They want, "Wow, it was great, I lost count of how many times Zi came. He just ripped my panties off and took me like a wolf, then spent all weekend using me like a sex toy!" Nice guys think women are all nicey-nice. Most men think a girl really getting into giving a BJ is beyond anything they imagined. The typical woman has more dark psyche stuff going on than 95% of men.
Or, at least to her girlfriends. Love how Sarah and these content creators talk and talk about 'communication', but I never hear them talk about failures to communicate by women as if only men are the ones who don't communicate.
@@bobcharles7933 Here's the gospel. About 1 in every 7 or 8 men can carry a conversation. About 1 in 80 women might be able to. Not 1 woman in a hundred can flirt for shit. And almost none will initiate anything verbally, but almost all will be body language. As a man, you have to do all the heavy lifting and approach. If the girl decides to reject you because of whatever, she wants plausible denialability and say "I was just being nice and he misunderstood." Now, it's easy as man to be in the Top 30%, I can teach you that in under twenty minutes. In 6 weeks, you can be Top 20%, but virtually no one will make the effort. Women are easy to understand. It's not that hard. And you should use that understanding to be highly selective.
Mine is to aquire a Cessna Skymaster 337, with the pressurised cabin, live in a place with large enough clear land to land and keep my plane home, and own a replica of Quint's boat, the Orca MS 15 MF. They are simple desires. The sex crap has never inspired me. Sex is the most over rated, over hyped, experience there is. It is nothing like what it is hyped to be. It is simply only okay. Welcome aboard the Orca, let's go sword fishing!
@@kbanghartI know. Have you priced a Cessna Skymaster 337 with a pressurized cabin? That fantasy will never happen. Owning a replica of the Orca would probably cost the same. My fantasies are too expensive to realise them.
The last one ,,, Threesome??? What do you think about a ((( Foursome ))) ??? Years ago my friends girlfriend suggested truth or dare ,,now my girlfriend was there at our apartment the four of us agreed on a game of truth or dare ,,,one thing let to another so we ended up having sex on the same bed and I Do believe all of us wanted to switch up only because our girlfriends agreed to sex on the same bed what a lovely experience!! Taboo ??? Maybe however to this day I wonder if everyone wanted to switch like me and his girl and my friend and my girlfriend!!! What a rush !
I dated a woman who had the "grape" fantasy, and it was hard for me to do it since I've always been taught not to cross that line. We ended up doing it, and it went so well we did it a couple of times. I still remember the first time she told me to slap her in the face. I was shocked. Sure, on the butt but in the face? She opened my eyes to what some woman really want.
I had a thing with a GF where i would slap her, and she was into it. But I made a mistake of doing it in public. I was lucky, I could have gotten my asp kicked.
Those fantasies only work out as long as she is into you and feels respected by you. It can be dangerous if she changes her mind about who you are later on... such as, if you were to later cheat on her, now she'll think back on those events differently.
Coming from my experience being married for 25 years. Fantasy 1, not only should you make sure your partner hasn't had any sexual abuse history you need to make sure your husband hasn't had either. Fantasy number 2, I agree toys should be implemented. Women do get in their heads very often especially for my wife who has ADHD. A simple solution albeit boring is to simply take turns. I normally get my wife off first then it's my turn and then she gets one more sometimes two more. Sexual fantasy number 2 needs to remain a fantasy and never allowed to become a reality. Simply put it's counterintuitive marriage. Every person I know that has tried a threesome has ended their marriages. If your wife is seriously trying to get you to do something like this you should be very concerned as it is a major red flag.
My wife is bi, we've been together 20+ yrs, have had quite a few mff and 4 mfm threesomes over last 15+ yrs. Last mfm was 3 yrs ago, but we have a "special lady" who joins us from time to time, including this past wkend. If the relationship is solid, the kinks can be fun as well as strengthening.
I'd be concerned if she wants to add another MAN to be the 3rd, and refuse. I sure as hell won't mind if she agrees to another woman, with the understanding that anything goes in all combos, not with the limitations this Sarah placed on the 3some, which is typical.
@@bettermouztrap9459disagree, that all depends. My wife and I were separated for a while, and were both intimate with others, and now we are back together, very happy and sharing our fantasies.
First one has been reported as a top 5 fantasy for women for years, with the two main theories being the removal of guilt regarding the act and the idea that the guy finds them so desirable he cannot control himself. Thing to keep in mind of course is that as these are fantasies so even though the fantasy is to have no control they are in fact still in control, it is their imagination after all, so don't go trying it with a woman without significant prior discussion.
Yes, the discussion on rules, so the woman may actually have more control than many think. And know what physical danger there may be. Things like "safe words" and what is OK and not. But it can also help men as it gives them "control" and the idea (illusion) they can do what they want is freeing and may help some who may have some ED issues. And some woman if they have some senses removed can focus more on others. Something like a blindfold cuts off sight and can help the woman, or man, create a fantasy since they do not have to overcome their sight imputs. Like many things there is a huge trust issue, not just during but before and after. If the people do not know and trust each other it can blow up in very bad ways that can ruin a relationship and more. How easy is it for people to make "bed fun" not just lust but play? Perhaps the biggest fantasy is that it can be done to start with. In the current relationship scene, trust may just not be possible. Today, how many people can you really trust? Disclaimer; the previous is conecture and not to be taken as anything I have actually done or experianced. It wasn't me I didn't do it.
Jack Nicholsonin in as good as it gets was right, though. Number 1 is ALSO a fantasy for women because if they were 'forced' they are not responsible for the results...often a baby. And who does that leave to once again have responsibility...but no control?
The reverse is on the top 5 of men's fantasy as well, just not quite as high as the opposite. Feeling desired to this level is a huge ego boost, and for all those raised within shame/guilt environment regarding sex and their role in it can feel the abandonment of not being "to blame". There can be many variation on how this unfold, weiter the woman is being raptured or the man is, (brute force, weapon, drugged, blackmailed, tied up during sleep, obeying a boss or a cop or teacher or any situation where you feel like you are not in control.) at the end of the day, the main element is usually that he or she feel desired rather than scorned, that he or she get to enjoy one or more orgasm without the guilt of being responsible for them to have happened, and in some ways their submission may have won them "affection" from the rapturer. Usually a person they found attractive enough that they would do it with them anyway if they were asked to consent. (But pretending they didn't give consent is the whole point in this game.) It's relatively different from full on Bdsm where contempt and degradation are put into the mixt in a darker way, feeding a self destructive persona rather than looking for an ego boost of "Oh, I'm so beautiful /dashing that this person went crazy over me and had to have me by any means necessary." Regarding what she said about past dark experiences, people should know that it can either deter the person from any such games whatsoever, or in the opposite, push them to try and recreate the situation with variant, perhaps trying to regain some control over their past. Those are usually less "fun" and more trauma related though, and you should really talk it trough with the person before exploring those. Because sometimes, the part of them that want this isn't necessarily a part of them that think of their best interests.
Lol basically. Just imagine a guy who said these things. Want oral with no recip. Want 3 some but both have to focus solely on him. Seems like a jerk not built for a relationship. Don't let your girl's pretty smile fool you. Girls can be jerks too
A young woman should be very aware of this quote as it applies to them. “My candle burns at both ends it will not last the night. But ah my foes and oh my friends it gives a lovely light”
To be honest, I'm frankly kind of disappointed. There was no mention of having a robot butler, a talking monkey friend, or a bank heist. And especially disappointed by no mention of a talking robot monkey butler friend who helps you plan the bank heist and volunteers to drive the getaway van. Smh. Y'all ladies is dull.
For me, sexual intimacy with someone should be a reward for building healthy trust and emotional intimacy. Emotional intimacy arises within communications within the containment that happens between a man and a woman. As an analogy, it should be the desert at the end of a very satisfying meal. I believe in touching, hugging, and cuddling as a necessary prelude to this because that builds desire and verifies your mutual attraction.
DON'T bring another person in your bedroom. The key is arousal and nothing else. Fantasy is mental. Turn the lights off, tell her a story of that happening. Let her mind focus on the story and your achieving everything without the infidelity. This way the fantasy stays alive. Don't risk a sure thing for an hour of fun.
I agree with this. All the benefit of the fantasy and none of the after guilt/jealousy/drama. Talking about things and fantasizing are miles away from the actual act.
The first one is absolutely true. They especially like to record it while encouraging their man to make it look real. That way, when they get pissed at their man for something totally unrelated, they have evidence when they decide it's time to ruin his life.
I feel if a woman fantasizes about bringing someone else in sexually, she's obviously not solely interested in you anymore, sexually. Once you cross the threshold of desire, it's hard to go back. Always the wonder and thirst will be
Yup... if you want an open relationship do it from the start. Her asking to open an existing closed relationship is a sign she is probably already cheating on you.
bringing in a woman vs a man is completely different. Completely. having a secure woman and secure in yourself is imporant. Many younger girls ( as she mentions numerous times because they are more mature) NOW are a different bread. She explains in the beginning nicely WHO this applies to and their state of mind and security with the other person. But bringing a woman in on a threesome vs another man, totally different.
Na... my wife and I crossed that bridge once 20 years ago. Now very very happily married 20 years. We talk about the incident fondly, but no repeat performance. It's like a lot of 1-off experiences. Been there, tried that.
@@IaconDawnshire IF she feel confident in the relationship to express it, she is likely very much into you, otherwise she would hide it. Study after study shows that couples who are least likely to break up or divorce are highly religious and swingers who enjoy adding variety into their sex and social lives. Statistically couples in swinger life style report the most long term partner satisfaction. Those two life styles might seem opposite but they have common the important common feature of honest communications and security in the relationship. If your girl expresses her fantasy of being with another woman it shows she feels safe to express feelings to you without judgment. That is a key to lasting quality relationships. The swinger couples I know have the best, most loving and solid bonds. Variety and experimenting only really is possible when the core relationship is solid. We all have fantasies but we only share the with people who we know are very committed to us where they would never hide anything. We have all had girls ask what we think of a pretty girl walking past, and when a relation is not solid she is trying to test you and you are going to lie about thinking she was hot. A great relation is one where you can opening admit you thought the girl was hot and it only brings you two together more. That is why couples who have honest communications can act out fantasies and only bond closer. Go to an lifestyle event, and notice how many couples are older, been solidly devoted to each other for decades and talking with them it shows even if one or both want variety and fun playing with others, and they share their impressions and sensations with their partner. It is about connecting, sensations and acting out fantasies and not love or sneaking around.
Words are my tools of trade, and I really enjoy the verbal gymnastics you go through avoiding RUclips’s rules while still saying what you want to. You are very skilful at it, I must add.
It's difficult to put this into words. I had several GFs who really wanted to be slapped/pushed around (at the right time/place), to be a sex object and nothing more. One wanted way more than I was comfortable doing. She even enjoyed the bruises the next day. She earned much more than me and could have any choice of how to spend her personal time. To see her in public you would never imagine that this is what she enjoyed which made it more exciting. I imagine girls with all the p*rn star tattoos (such a turn off) are the opposite at home. Maybe I'm wrong since I never had any interest in girls who are heavily inked and avoided them.
Tattoos aren’t attractive on women. It just screams the opposite of feminine beauty. Like are you a heavy drug user or are you playing as one. Regardless both are a mental problem.
That was a great read until you mentioned the tattoo thing. I mean WTF do tattoos have to do with porn? There are plenty of women in porn without tatts and plenty of women with tatts who don't work in porn...c'mon! You should just be happy to have had that great opportunity there
Triangulation rarely works for the majority of people in a LTR. When the relationship hits rough periods, what was fun in the moment ALWAYS gets redefined as a betrayal (even years or decades down the road). It is difficult to cross that line and maintain trust.
The toy thing is 💯 fact. My 52 year old GF throws pillows when I use the toys and then just hold her. You think “what’s in that for me”? Wait 1/2 hour and then she WANTS to reciprocate. Trust me…
Glad that works for you. My experience with my ex wife was quite the opposite. I did that for her, and she didn't care in the slightest if I got anything out of it, and had no interest in reciprocating. Then again, she was a full on narcissist, so maybe the moral there is don't marry a narcissist...
I don't need reciprocation that same day, but do need some time to myself afterwards, lol. I'll get mine and have been getting mine. It's fun. Try keeping all your clothes on the entire time, and at the end your woman will will be embarrassed that she's the only one not wearing clothes. It's awesome and hilarious and endearing. It's almost like dominating them without the dark side.
@@trevorhall6061 I’m divorced because she’s mentally unstable. She was fine in the beginning but over the years she went downhill. The proverbial daddy issues just got worse. I found medical paperwork that proves that. She was abusive to the kids, a liar, and a cheater. I just talked to one daughter yesterday about some of the abuse that happened. Now it is my understanding she’s becoming a drunk and refuses to get help. Another daughter has stated that she thinks her mom has narcissistic personality disorder. She’s taking classes in such things.
@@NtDs90sorry mate, for some reason l thought you where a woman and l was being sarcastic. I went through something similar to you 33 years wasted. Good luck
@@trevorhall6061 no worries. I’m happily divorced. Kids are somewhat happy how the divorce played out. I’ve got the last two in therapy because I care about their mental health and they’re seeing that. Hope everything is going good for you.
My wife introduced toys earlier on in our relationship , it started out slow , but wow now it added a whole another level to the bedroom and our role plays .
Overall we like a lot of things sexual, we each wrote down 10 ideas put in a bucket for our list to draw from, some was fantasy type and some was on the edge lol.
@@1Whitetail That’s a good idea , we usually end up playing a dice game for play or sexual play , which I’d imagine is considered on the edge . I’d like to try it a little edgier , simply for the experience .
@@markwolo2524 To us it's all fun, we love the blindfolds a lot being touched by what or whom. Once at a hot tub gathering one night the girls blindfolded the guys and stood near the tub while the ladies would suck about 2 minutes then moved to the next one and repeat again. We the guys didn't know which one did what. Just fun stuff. My favorite has to be master and slave, one in control and obeys the order. Yes it goes both ways being in control. Hope you both get comfortable with it, opens a new world of excitement.
@@markwolo2524 we love it too, sometime we go places just public bars & clubs outside of town and play it there. Wife gets a chance to show she's a good sub.... which I like also.
As for the first point, it more likely results from the woman being made from the man and wanting to return or join to him. If he does it because she wants it, it isn't fantasy, its reality. The woman prefers being controlled by the man because she assumes it expresses his desire for her. The second point makes no sense. Men can finish much earlier than women and every woman will know that because they almost never finish at all, when he's done, its over. However, women are able to repeat the experience several times, so oral or toys doesn't reduce the woman's desire for another round. The reason for oral/toys, would be for the man to develop a better understanding of the woman's tension dynamic and be able to 'regulate' it with some skill. This can then be used to reduce the gap to (almost) simultaneous and/or closely successive timing. But the woman's concern is unfounded, all men operate on confidence, so any show of submission is guaranteed to deliver the desired outcome, in fact young men(16 - 25) don't need confidence, the thought of it is enough. The third fantasy cannot be reality because you're dealing with two women who expect the encounter to be only about her, which is impossible. It cannot end well, regardless of the man involved. These fantasies aren't helpful in a long term relationship, but they can be adjusted to provide a better union by finding it more exciting to improve the intimacy rather than reduce it. However, since these are fantasies that most women may prefer to keep that way, it means the option is always open to consideration when she gets bored. Does the thought of these fantasies kick her back to reality, or leave her uninterested?
Well said - thanks for the share on the rules. My ex-wife told me on our 3rd date that she was bi and wanted an open relationship. We would be with other women together but she wanted to see other couples on her own. She was open and honest as to what she wanted and I had the choice to take it or leave it. I chose the lifestyle with her, it was not always easy, jealousy for both of us at time but I would not change any part of what we had together. We had rules and were straight up with others. We were together 12 years and broke-up over money matters.
As for the element of force, it works as a fantasy because she can always use a "safe word" or just tell her partner to stop, at any time. Toys are useful to explore, or have pleasure "on demand". However, there is NOTHING like sharing yourself with another person, together. Toys can be included. The ONLY time to invite someone into 3(+) playtime is to when you recognize"you aren't enough". At which time, you SHOULD "hire" someone, to leave afterwards!
Totally disagree on the "threesome only when u recognize u arent enough!" Thats asking for disaster! In fact my wife and I do not do anything with anyone else UNTIL we are at a mutual "place" with each. And the "hire" part is called prostitution and illegal! Smh
Well, drawing upon my 50+ years of experience with women, I felt I had to weigh in on these ideas. I am from the era of Free Love, Swinging, Swapping, and Open Relationships, so I do know what I am talking about. The first one, grape/domination fantasies, yes, quite common. BUT only as a role playing fantasy, not in real life, obviouly. Think about it, women's trashy, romance novels are most commonly referred to as "Bodice Rippers" for a reason. The second one, playing with her toys. Trust me on this one, once you figure what she likes, really likes - especially the things she reluctant to admit she really likes - you'll have her clawing the sheets, babbling incoherently, and thrashing around like you were performing an exorcism on her. And, once you discover just how much power you have, you won't need to take your pants off to be satisfied. The third one, you and another woman making your woman the center of attention. Be very, very careful with this one. Done this with a couple women. One liked it as a "one and done" fantasy. The other one liked it a bit more. I came home from work a few days later to find she had left me and moved in with the other woman. Oddly, the fantasy you didn't mention, making her the center of attention with another guy, never once caused any relationship problems. And it seemed to be a more common fantasy.
Really good points. I will add some more information about domination as a professional BDSM Master. "Grape" and Domination are two completely diffirent things. When it comes to grape fantasies these are usually performed in a very controlled and safe envoriment with high amounts of turst. When it comes to True Domination however, people should be really careful. Women have died because idiots attempts to perform these acts. Unlike our "Dominant" counterpart, True Master's are educated torturists. When we speak of "domination" it's often reffered to as dominating her sexually, meaning body and mind. When you master the art of BDSM literally all women will come crawling back for more. And one last thing. That a woman have had unplesant experiences with men that abused their power, does not mean that the gates are closed forever. Power is a heavy burden to carry, don't let the crown play you as a fool.
@@khps9176 I have a favorite meme which puts the whole Dom/sub scene (vs BDSM) in perspective. A scantily clad woman, wearing a collar, kneeling with her hands behind her back. The caption reads "She's not tied up . . . Just well trained"
@@nahkohese555 Although i've never seen that meme. I get an amusing feeling about it. Kinda like the sterotypical Dom/sub. As Master's it's very common for us to make slaves kneel. Collars are quite interesting, because they can often contain a symbol that is uniqe to their Master. As we control everything in their life, it's not uncommon for us to present them publicly in sophisticated and elegant dresses. The really fantastic views, are when Master's walk around publicly in city centurms with slaves. We often walk in syncronization and if the Master stops. The slaves will kneel and wait untill he starts walking again.
Except the toy fantasy in the video was all about her being selfish, with the man specifically expecting and receiving nothing in return. The selfishness was the whole point. So saying it's fine ... as long as she's not being selfish doesn't make a lot of sense. "It's fine...as long as it's nothing like you described it."
No, you don't keep score or try to make your sex "equal". Sometimes you just do things for each other. Different things at different times. Mix it up. Experiment.
Seduction is the process of going from a state of resistance to complete surrender. Thats why that fantasy is such a turn on for women because it recreates that entire process in a very condensed timeline.
For the first one, women who have been essayed tend to cope by seeking that same sort of experience. They can feel control and power over it by making it their decision. It can definitely strengthen that kink/ desire
exactly how every girl but one i know and have had on this 🐔 and used me to get over trauma say exactly this and then they go get the happy life they deserve and all i got now is a kink for CNC type stuff
So true. I remember my ex once had a smokey eye. Afterwards, for a short period of time, she was afraid of getting pinned in a corner and letting someone to her neck. She also couldn't say "no" anymore. Back then, I was blinded by her "just a friend", "we just talked", "I dont know how to flirt", "your jealous and controlling" etc gaslighting, but in retrospect it seems like she got around the wrong guy to play her games
I've never had a problem with a woman who needs/likes to use toys, the problem is if I (or a guy she was with) had his own male-specific sex toys or even a sex doll, she would perceive that as a threat. Also women, at least in my experience, haven't been very open about what they like. It's like they want you to already know because they don't want to have to tell you, it's up to the guy to have telepathic powers.
i feel you bro, fukn bs i want her to blind fold me an use me to he hearts desire LOL most guys don't want to be InControl 24/7 I want the woman to control an dominate the whole scene do some freaky shit and having me guessing what that feeling is coming from Cancel Reply Cancel Reply
I don't quit understand the entire use a sex toy on my mate. When in fact she could easily and more accurately use it on herself. The vast majority of the time I'm being told I did it wrong. It seems to me that why should I even be there when she could do it better herself.
There was an episode of Stat Trek enterprise, in it, Orion slave girls were trying to get the crew to take over the enterprise for them. One of the lines one of the girls used on a crewman was "I like the kind of Man who TAKES what he wants". I think some Women feel that way in Real Life.
9:08 What you just said here. "What if he enjoys it with her more than you" is *proobably* why alot of guys dont like when girls want to use toys.. because.. "What if she enjoys it more than me?"
Fantasy #4. A man who is tall, handsome, muscular with wealth and status. He will give her anything she wants and do everything possible to make her happy. While not asking for anything in return other than SEX and not having her take any accountability for her actions or decisions. SHE is willing to find that man any way she can, and will DUMP her current mate in a heartbeat.
#1 There are DANGERS in the "punishment action" though, because you can get to NERVE DAMAGE by improperly doing it. *START SLOW ... or EDUCATE YOURSELF before starting it!* PAIN results in "reward DOPAMINE" ... which is why marathon runners are REALLY HAPPY after they cross the finish line. "Forcefully cycling" will also demonstrate this effect, when you had to struggle up a hill and then can "relax" downhill.
I’m 53 and my GF is 34, she is completely submissive in the bedroom. She introduced me to BDSM and being my “sub”….The sex is freaking insane. She wears anything I ask for, does anything I want and is the most fulfilling partner I’ve ever had. She cooks and cleans to so this is going to be a very long relationship….
I think it would be understood that it woukd be consensual though. I mean obviously you both would know when it was gonna happen. Don't go out and just rape your gd or wife because a lady on yt said she'd like it. Also talk it out it may not be the rape thing but wanting to be controlled and man handled.
@@fordshojoe8080 I don’t care if it’s someone’s wife of 20 years and she writes a 20 page dissertation about how she wants to try the fantasy. That’s still way to risky for a man 😂.
Bringing someone else into the bedroom is a recipe for disaster. If you love your partner and have a great relationship with them you should be open to acting out fantasies that are accommodating to both parties.
Sarah, you did a good job at explaining these. I've heard others try as well. I don't think I'll ever be on board with the grape thing. It was requested of me from a long-term, headed for marriage, girlfriend and it basically ended our relationship. At first I thought she needed therapy but I searched for answers and found videos like yours. So, it is a thing but I still don't know why. Ever since the request, I realized I wasn't fulfilling her desires and felt very inadequate. I'm wondering, if most women are like this, will I ever be able to truly satisfy a woman? It really is a mind-f to me because she was so feminist, girl-boss, etc... I've heard her lament about "toxic masculinity" but then asks me to do that. What's more toxic than that?!?
I've had it brought up to and you know what sucked for me the most? Is knowing that I could never be that guy she doesn't know. It was a shitty feeling. She wanted to be kidnapped in a van and bound and everything. Its to much to deal with and could go wrong to fast
!!@@jtkilowatt9941 Geez what is WRONG with you guys !! The girls want to play and you go all righteous on them ! No wonder girls are so inhibited about this type of thing. Its fantasy guys - wake up! Sex play is a wonderful wonderful thing - in all its manifestations.
The most we did was my wife's bf knock on door wearing a balaclava thing, he'd pretend to bust in, order me to stand in the corner while he forced himself on her, she pretending to be shocked etc etc etc. Haha fun times. Now ex-wife lol
You highlight talking and many comments here do as well. Communication is key. I saw a short quiz that had some outlandish things, but was very explicit. I decided to expound upon this and come up with a very big list and it was very eye opening to see and talk about the results of each of us. I highly recommend that.
Threesomes, I've never known a couple to do that where cheating and divorce didn't follow. 3 good friends each relationship somebody said you opened up the marriage and I like it.
This is a great production. Also, you do a great job. Thank you for your candor. I'm saving the link, so that I can share it with certain people, in order to broach the subject.
What's funny for me, is out of every woman that I have ever been with and what (there hasn't been to many) I remember of. Lol. In ref. to your #3 scenario, not even one of them was ever open to any kind of open relationship with another woman. They only wanted to be with me during our relationship. No one else lol.
Several times in the office i heard men and women talk about their fantasies or turn ons. Contrary to what most people could imagine, basically guys were like "i guess it could be cool to have sex with like a really hot woman,like unbelievable hot woman" or "you know dude,like having two hot chicks all for yourself". When i heard women talking about their "fantasies" i heard shit that would make your stomach turn. There is people i distrust and avoid since those days cause of that. I felt revolt.
@@jibbityjab2469 - it was at this moment that he knew he'd effed up. But I'm still waiting to read about these sick fantasies. Btw, I recently heard of one where a girl wanted her bf to hold a knife to her throat. Now that IS wacko.
Before my wife died of Covid October 18, 2019, we were married for 15 years and we did all three of those things numerous times that you’re talking about. I miss talking about the uncomfortable stuff with her thanks a lot. I just came from a funeral and you made me feel a lot better, thank you for sharing
This seems to apply far more to those women who would consider themselves to be 'modern' women. And not to those who have a more traditional mindset and lifestyle. There was a study that I saw, (I wish I could find that again), which found that, the more one-nights-stands or s*x partners a woman has had through her lifetime, her sensitivity to any stimuli was greatly decreased, including the feel-good hormones that are normally released. Since it is a stimuli and like caffeine in coffee, you can get too used it. The hormones won't have the same effect as they normally would. It would make sense then, that one would have to find 'new' ways to create stimulation.
Oxytocin is the hormone you are referring to. However, you are a little off the mark. The effects you describe are only in drugs, not hormones. The receptors for hormones can become less responsive when constantly exposed to an agonist (in this case oxytocin) but that is never permanent. Remove the agonist for a time and the responsiveness returns. The correlation of oxytocin levels and number of partners is not actually relevant. The fact that women with high body counts progressively become less likely to permanently pair-bond is likely more part of their psychological makeup and personality than hormone levels, as well as the effects of social conditioning.
@@bobcharles7933 No, you are a little off the mark and not entirely correct on that. Oxytocin specifically decreases the sensation to pain. The hormone you are referring to is endorphins which is the pleasure inducing hormone in sex and correctly is not a form of a drug stimulant/amphetamine like in coffee.
Yeah - this only happened to me ONCE . In her defense ; she had never gotten off by either ex husband by oral stimulation . Well I changed all that . BUT she enjoyed the experience SO much that when she got through ; it was like basically over . After getting to know her better , I finally said after a handful of satisfying sessions for HER ONLY - “ hey , today how about you returning the favor “ ? She gladly reciprocated , from then on ! All along she was waiting for me to TELL her to take care of me . Try THAT , or you’ll become a simp .
Lulz divorce her lulz Also lulz sleep with her best friend and sister and mother and grandmother lulz Have you tried communicating with her? I know that is an exercise in frustration and possibly futile, but if you want her to initiate, have you expressed this to her, have you tried to encourage her, or asked her why she hasn't or won't? It could be any infinite number of reasons with an infinite number of underlying variables. Maybe she can change it, maybe she will want to change it. Maybe she can learn to initiate. Without being her personal therapist and psychiatrist, and knowing her full history, nobody here can tell you anyway yes or no with any certainty. But that's almost besides the point. If she can or does, great. The more important question to consider is what if she can't, or won't, for whatever reason? It may ultimately end up being, worst case scenario, that she just literally cannot or will not initiate, ever. Worst case scenario. Is that a deal breaker? Is that the hill the relationship dies on? If you're willing to accept that, down to the worst case scenario, then it's on you to learn cope, stop malding and seething, git gud, skill issue, etc. If it comes down to this is absolutely her nature and she can't or otherwise is unable or unwilling to change it, then it's up to you to either accept that's who she is and how she is, or find someone else. You don't get to stay with someone who can't change or won't change, as backed by factual evidence and history, and get upset when they don't or won't change. You see she has a pattern of behavior. Either she changes it, you accept that's just how it is, or you leave. Or.lulz option you do something reckless and stupid lulz. You can want and ask and hope all you like, but if she can't or if she won't, then you have to decide if that's the deal breaker or not. Because if it's not, then you're going to have to learn to deal with it. Otherwise you're only setting yourself up for endless frustrations and disappointments and probably lots of unnecessary arguments and eventually resentments, which will breed more misery and counter resentments. And if she ain't initiating now, once she really gets tired of your resentment she REALLY will not initiate, and you won't have even the smallest crumb of it.
Time for you to pack up and find a better partner Let her know you’re replacing her too and no chance of getting back with her. They cannot stand rejection.
Have you talked with her about it? The horizontal tango is about give to each other. It should be mutual. If she dismiss your concern she is not reciprocating, which seems like a deeper issue than just the bed. I would start with discussing your desires and how to meet each person's needs.
Gotta let her know that it’s not a rejection of her ideas to take care of you too,just a pause till later and that it fills you to be part of her “time “
Agreed. This is an excellent summary of my experiences as well. However, I have found that instead of referring to it as "punishment", to instead refer to it as "Discipline" - WOW! The word seems to remove the sense of guilt or that the woman has done something to disappoint her partner - as opposed to doing something nearly correct, but just not 'as correct' or perfect as possible. And women frequently want to do better, try harder, etc., not only in the bedroom but in everyday life. Give it a try, I've had amazing results ;-)
It also keeps you from getting a bad feeling about yourself. I never wanted to feel I punished her. I would tell her I wanted to make sure she stayed good. i would tell her I wanted her to keep being good. Some times she wanted me to punish her harder but I would tell her I can not do it to you.
@@roberts2099 I have an ex that asked to be punched hard in the face while going down. I had been in a similar position before and couldn't do it, this time I thought I'm not gonna appear weak and back handed the crap out of her and busted her lip. She went down crazy on me after that. They really are into this stuff and love it.
@@off6848 It’s just a plain fact. Women (well at least quite a few women) never want to admit it openly, but they enjoy abuse. (In bed, not everyday life) I’m not talking permanent damage, psychopathic type of abuse, but the type that reels them back out of their comfort zones. I think it turns women into being wild, wanted, raw sexual creatures, which all women secretly desire. It in a way it actually allows them to embrace their femininity for these reasons. It’s that thrill/danger/pain type of experience that releases the hormones endorphin that increases pleasure from pain and oxytocin which decreases the sensation to pain. You trigger high levels of both of these and it’s no wonder women feel like their experiencing similar thrills on a roller coaster ride while experiencing abuse at the hands of a dominant man and also explains why they lose themselves into wild uncontrollable sexual urges. It becomes a drug to them and like any pleasurable drugs creates a craving for it and a sexual high that releases inhibitions.
@@roberts2099Me and my wife have fantasies about threesomes or hotwife sometimes, so when we're in the middle of it I ask if she's been good or naughty and then it goes from there lol.
When men suggest something, it's "sick, disgusting, disturbing and disrespecting". When women suggest the same, it's "exciting, new, different, sexy and romantic". That's reality.
I would not provide anything that could easily be twisted into an assault or battery. She would have to request on video in advance that I fulfill her specific fantasy.
As a guy, I actually love to use toys with my partner. I've always said my pleasure comes from her pleasure which I've honestly heard a lot of "Yeah...sure" to until they experience what I mean.
@@0l_pops531 I sort of agree but there is a flip side to where the woman may start to prefer the toy over any "normal" sex stuff. I mean a toy buzzing & moving at many times the speed any guy can is bound to be very pleasurable but that can also make her desire for the guy expendable (and more "get the vibrator out" all the time).
Exact same. I discovered this at a very young age and it has served me well. Every woman I’ve been with , and that is many , love this kind of sex. *** After she gets off 1 or 2 times then be dominant and powerful with her while you devour her for YOUR own pleasure as if you’re Graping her. 100% fire every time. 😎👍
THE LAW.... Once alcohol touches a woman's lips she CAN NOT 'consent' to sex. MEANING.. even if she does consent, she was legally impaired, and can have you arrested and tried for rape.... More specifically, in the State of California, a NEW LAW, states a woman has UP TO 10 YEARS.. to decide if she was raped or not. The point was, a woman might be too embarrassed to come forward immediately after a rape. Now she has up to 10 YEARS to decide... This makes women absolutely TOXIC... Dont even be alone with one. Assume they have a very contagious disease, and keep your distance, even in public.
LPT: If you ever have need of a riding crop for ... ummm ... science. Don't waste your money going to the sex store, hit up the equine section at Fleet Farm.
You say important things around 3:00 . Men don't get this (let alone women), but the Yin Power (Submission, Passivity) only works when the woman (in relationships women must express Yin and men Yang) is relaxed. And she can only truly relax if she doesn't have really complicated problems to solve, doesn't carry too much responsibility, and doesn't have to work too hard. And men and women must organize this together, and the men must take the responsibility for everything. This is they key to truly profound and satisfying and productive relationships. In this zone of relaxation and surrender, is when the woman truly begins to radiate her beauty, inner and outer. But it requires real respect for the Yin Power, instead of seeing it as 'oppression', 'victimhood' and bs about 'equality'. Men take the responsibility for everything, women help with everything. It's not about 'work for men' or 'work for women'. Both can do everything (except the most complicated/innovative, that's for the men), it's about both Yang expressing his power (domination through initiative) and Yin. Submission is not 'weak', it's the second greatest power in the Universe, that together with Yang creates EVERYTHING. Men also must learn submission. To God, to their boss, to men who are stronger than them, to their customers, etc. Jesus, btw, was the Great Teacher of the Power of Submission, and most men (let alone women) still don't get it today. That is, with his previous manifestation 2k years ago. When he returns next decade, he will express Yang power.
Threesomes are a gateway to women loving to do it without you. Men should know and worry about this more than worrying about her insecurities. Especially when their friends are the same way. Happens all the time. If she just wants you watch she actually doesn't really want you there and comes from an unhealthy foundation from the start. Any "noise" to the contrary is just not true even if they believe it themselves. Seen it destroy not just relationships but whole families. This is something that should never be underestimated in already established monogamous relationships. It will change the whole dynamics going forward. Been there done that and seen that even more. It should NEVER be just about her but BOTH of you and caution changing everything going forward. Men really don't get the depths of this subject and what it can lead to. Bad advise
Exactly...the only time that stuff might work or be understandable would be if both people were already practicing swingers and met each other thru something like that. But in a monogamous relationship it's like introducing a mutating virus with unknown outcomes.
@jibbityjab2469 That is absolutely a perfect analogy. You hit it spot on and seem to grasp the potential gravity that can have. I personally believe it's horrible to suggest something like that by not really thinking about the layers it can have that you don't see until someone is there. It will have an affect. Even if it's only one of the two people.
Yeah...well, it's only my take, but I'd just take a pass on the toy dependent and lusting for another chick type of gals. Once I would hear about these preferences, it would be; "Pleasure to meet you, have a nice life." Out.
I noticed women I’ve been with like it when I put them in the position I want them to be in rather firmly and without asking and hold them in place as long as it’s not with the intention of harming or causing discomfort. There are several positions that cater to this and they seem to work really well if you sense that she’s into it.
I once had a girlfriend's hands pinned together up above her head as I basically forced her to go down on me. No prior discussion or anything. It was just kind of fun for me and I took a chance that it would be acceptable to her. What I was NOT expecting was afterwards when she quietly told me how much she liked that part ...
I don't want to go to prison next time she's in a bad mood. If I'm not good enough for her, she can just let the "toy" pay the bills, fix her car, and work on the house from now on. If she wants another woman in bed, fine ! I guess again that I'm just not good enough. I'll move the bed out to the yard with the rest of her stuff and change the locks !
Gentlemen, be VERY careful with the "its all about you" thing with the ladies. At a certain point you will confront Nice Guy accusations and you will have caused that. That has been the beginning of the end for me more than once. Also, lets be cautious around the "women sre more nurturing" thing. Just saying. Sarah is very high value and we know more about how less-than-high-value women can behave than she does.
Sarah, look I understand, my machismo and magnetic appeal would want to make you salsa dance for hours. But sadly, sorry to disappoint you, I’m recovering from Achilles surgery. I’m so glad you’re doing this and your presentation is unique in the sense you’re not bullying men. Hearing women say I don’t care about your feelings! Wow! Breath of fresh air
That Dr you had on the lovely lady with the blue and silver hair was great. I truly can see how I’ve failed in my own relationships by making different mistakes
I had a live in GF for yrs...broke up she liked the whole bdsm thing 50 shades so I had this duffel bag of toys....so I met this new girl and we been going out for a few weeks and I think ....should I throw all this out or show her...? so I went for show her...her reaction was... wow awesome...so off we went....ya never know.
Many if not most want that and not restricted to those with a safe history. First young girl to get me into it had a tragic history, told her it made me want to treat her like a refugee (a guardian not a lover) and she immediately twisted that into a sex fantasy scenario, lol.
my new gf got into the bdsm right away. and said she always had a grape fantasy and wanting a knife held against her. we havent gone that far yet but im teaching her about everything and shes been a good sub and wears her collar everyday.
@@SgtJoeSmith Yeah that could be a bit much, I had trouble with real choking even, haven't even done it on request. Pinning her down, *holding* throat, tying up...that's all titillating. But whatever works for the two of you without harm.
@@Mrbfgray I told her maybe a butter knife. But let's work up to it to make sure she still wants it. I'm her 1st guy. She only had a girlfriend before. And never done any this stuff before
@@Mrbfgray: Yeah, kinda old school here. If I ever choked a woman I'd feel the need to beat the crap outta myself and haul my arse to the fuzz to be arrested. Just couldn't do it. I have never understood this inclination to bring violence into these things... but maybe because I've seen quite a lot of violence over my life I am jaded towards it.
You rotate between your real boy toy and her toy.....she will explode. Ask her if she's "comfortable being uncomfortable" and she gives you that look of curiousity... well.
The third one DEFINITELY is NOT a fantasy of mine... yuck! No one I know would be into that. Most women want men who are faithful to them, as they are to their man. Anything that smacks of polygamy would be a deal breaker to me. If my husband even MENTIONED that as a possibility I'd start considering the end of that relationship was near and I'd no longer trust him= less sex.
If she shares her fantasy, she is likely to be a narcissist because it is all about her own enjoyment and not his. If she doesn't share her fantasy and you find out, she is more likely a giver, not a taker.
The problem with #3 is that to have those exclusions will make the man feel ugly, there’s two women here and none are interested in me. It’s better to allow some attention. As with everything, you have to allow for the humanity of a man as well.
I had a girlfriend that fantasized of murder and cannibalism. She never told me in those words. But, she would often say things like, "Floor it and kill him! Then let me out and let me eat his liver!" "That girl looking at you might be looking down the blade of my knife is she keeps, that up! Then I will skin her and throw out the bones!" I was rather afraid to break up with her. But she was never cruel to me. That was my next girlfriend that had that distinction.
@@kbrewski1 She was never evil to me. But I was rather nervous to leave her when she knew where I lived. I think she was all talk. She was a much better girlfriend than my last one. She moved to New York City. A few years later, I moved to northern Saskatchewan. I will likely never see Leiah, my cannibal, again. She actually liked when I called her that. Hopefully, I will never see Angela, my last girlfriend, again.
@@ericwarren7719Leiah was crazy but kind. Angela was Satin's top student in Hell. I would not mind seeing Leiah again. Angela, is the one I hope I never see again.
My wife surprised me one afternoon. She had a rope and said, "tie me up and you can do whatever you want." So I tied her up and went fishing.
5 Min. Later ..... I'm STILL L.M.A.O. !! 🤣👌
So what did you fish out of her? Lol Perhaps a big tuna?
Superb. Help yourself to a Scotch🥃
Hahahaaaaa
Lol hysterical
Women wanting it to be all about them ? Shocking !!!!!! We men already knew about this fantasy. We've lived with it our whole life. Fantasy #4. A man who is tall, handsome, muscular with wealth and status. He will give her anything she wants and do everything possible to make her happy. While not asking for anything in return and not having her take any accountability for her actions or decisions.
Yep..once again she tells men to suck it up and give it all to the selfish ladies
One thing I’ve learned about women is when they are young, their expectations are through the roof. Why? If you 25 and reasonably attractive, the world treats you like a movie star so why wouldn’t you expect Brad Pitt. Now when looks fade they start to come back down to earth. The power dynamic changes and suddenly the kind thoughtful man becomes the catch.
@@lettuceboy2382even then, they think they “settled”. Many women are delusional enough to think their value goes up as they age.
OP is only half-right. Women may say they want such a man to cater to them, but they will lose interest and respect if you do.
Example: Tom Brady. He treated Gisele too nice, and women translate nice = weak. So Tom got treated like a "nice guy" that's still 16-years-old.
Oof, someone's been hurt and hasn't healed from it.
Go figure yourself out. From one man to another, you are wayyyy too negative. Definitely showing some trauma.
My wife has decided the kids are grown and she doesn’t want to do sex anymore. This has gone on for three years. I’m seriously thinking about leaving or finding a willing woman outside my marriage. I feel fully justified now. I’ve waited long enough.
So now I’ll be the jerk, but I don’t care anymore. I didn’t enter the priesthood via marriage.
She is cheating
@@maddskillz5177 Bingo.
Shes having sex, jus not with you. Sucks but happens ALL the time. If the kids R yours be thankful and move on with your own life. Without that anchor
That really sucks man. There are so many reasons that a marriage can fail, but I'm quite certain that this one is very high up there. What's crazy to me is that if you take the time to really pleasure your woman AND she admits that it feels very good to her, why on earth would a woman not want to engage in sex anymore? Sexual intimacy is a huge deal to most men, and quite a few women as well. It's no wonder that when it's withheld, people may stray. Maybe you can lovingly explain to her how much hurt this causes you and you can't go in without sex in your marriage? Good luck man. I feel for you.
@@bosoxer4eva женщина вышла замуж из выгоды, а не любви. Он милый парень. Она не дает ему, но давала всем без разбора в молодости .
About 6 years ago my wife of 26 years and I took an online quiz on a whim. We found several fantasies and desires that were completely unexpected. Communication is KEY
Yeah, well she's a woman so you can forget that communication noise
Gotta be able to talk to ur woman. 100 percent.
My wife has this fantasy that I will, unsolicited, tear apart our existing, nice, wooden shed with its own existing wooden ramp and totally build a new one just so we can "put our stamp on it." Now that's sheer fantasy.
@@Tubes12AX7k do what? 😂
@@Tubes12AX7k THAT SOUNDS EVAN MORE EXCITING than the women who want a submissive to wash their car.
My very messy and disorganized GF got on my nerve so once i told her a bit irritated that "can't you just get your shit together or you will stand naked cooking and get spanked"..and she .."eh yes .."...
Yeah, I've noticed my evening play will vary when I ask my wife to do something and she responds with "okay" versus "yes, sir."
Unfortunately most women won’t share a fantasy with a husband because she doesn’t want him to know that about her but she will tell it to the one night stand she met on a girls trip.
Exactly. Women think the man will not respect them, take advantage of her if they know, and think she is a sex crazed slut.
If you want to turn up the heat, initiate getting far nastier than you think when you do the nasty.
Then it's up to you to create the fantasy.
@@mikemuha7537 Correct. Do you think women tell their girlfriends, "Yeah, it was pretty vanilla, some of the most average sex of my life" when they want to brag or compare notes?
No. They want, "Wow, it was great, I lost count of how many times Zi came. He just ripped my panties off and took me like a wolf, then spent all weekend using me like a sex toy!"
Nice guys think women are all nicey-nice. Most men think a girl really getting into giving a BJ is beyond anything they imagined. The typical woman has more dark psyche stuff going on than 95% of men.
Or, at least to her girlfriends. Love how Sarah and these content creators talk and talk about 'communication', but I never hear them talk about failures to communicate by women as if only men are the ones who don't communicate.
@@bobcharles7933 Here's the gospel. About 1 in every 7 or 8 men can carry a conversation. About 1 in 80 women might be able to.
Not 1 woman in a hundred can flirt for shit. And almost none will initiate anything verbally, but almost all will be body language.
As a man, you have to do all the heavy lifting and approach. If the girl decides to reject you because of whatever, she wants plausible denialability and say "I was just being nice and he misunderstood."
Now, it's easy as man to be in the Top 30%, I can teach you that in under twenty minutes. In 6 weeks, you can be Top 20%, but virtually no one will make the effort.
Women are easy to understand. It's not that hard. And you should use that understanding to be highly selective.
My 3 fantasies are spending a month surfing/fishing in Indonesia, Fiji, & Tahiti.
😂 good times
Mine is to aquire a Cessna Skymaster 337, with the pressurised cabin, live in a place with large enough clear land to land and keep my plane home, and own a replica of Quint's boat, the Orca MS 15 MF. They are simple desires. The sex crap has never inspired me. Sex is the most over rated, over hyped, experience there is. It is nothing like what it is hyped to be. It is simply only okay. Welcome aboard the Orca, let's go sword fishing!
@@indridcold8433lol sorry about that
@@kbanghartI know. Have you priced a Cessna Skymaster 337 with a pressurized cabin? That fantasy will never happen. Owning a replica of the Orca would probably cost the same. My fantasies are too expensive to realise them.
@@indridcold8433 WOW! The Skymaster! Have not heard this one before but again, people don't know about my fantasy which is to own an OV-10 Bronco...
Okay, so now we know Sarah's top 3 fantasies.
Bingo! 😂
Lol
Yep, 100%! Must be. They can't be based on data about OTHER women because women will never admit to them remember 😄
Mommy son is a good boy and he was going for it and my mom is doing the same
The last one ,,,
Threesome???
What do you think about a
((( Foursome ))) ???
Years ago my friends girlfriend suggested truth or dare ,,now my girlfriend was there at our apartment the four of us agreed on a game of truth or dare ,,,one thing let to another so we ended up having sex on the same bed and I Do believe all of us wanted to switch up only because our girlfriends agreed to sex on the same bed what a lovely experience!!
Taboo ??? Maybe however to this day I wonder if everyone wanted to switch like me and his girl and my friend and my girlfriend!!!
What a rush !
I dated a woman who had the "grape" fantasy, and it was hard for me to do it since I've always been taught not to cross that line. We ended up doing it, and it went so well we did it a couple of times. I still remember the first time she told me to slap her in the face. I was shocked. Sure, on the butt but in the face? She opened my eyes to what some woman really want.
😳😲😲
I had a thing with a GF where i would slap her, and she was into it. But I made a mistake of doing it in public. I was lucky, I could have gotten my asp kicked.
Goes to show why so many women are attracted to O.J. Simpson in spite of what he has done.
Those fantasies only work out as long as she is into you and feels respected by you. It can be dangerous if she changes her mind about who you are later on... such as, if you were to later cheat on her, now she'll think back on those events differently.
So you eat grapes while having sex? That's absolutely disgusting and a waste of grapes
Coming from my experience being married for 25 years. Fantasy 1, not only should you make sure your partner hasn't had any sexual abuse history you need to make sure your husband hasn't had either.
Fantasy number 2, I agree toys should be implemented. Women do get in their heads very often especially for my wife who has ADHD. A simple solution albeit boring is to simply take turns. I normally get my wife off first then it's my turn and then she gets one more sometimes two more.
Sexual fantasy number 2 needs to remain a fantasy and never allowed to become a reality. Simply put it's counterintuitive marriage. Every person I know that has tried a threesome has ended their marriages. If your wife is seriously trying to get you to do something like this you should be very concerned as it is a major red flag.
BUT WHAT IF THE HUSBAND WANTS THE 3 SOME FANTASY, MFM?
My wife is bi, we've been together 20+ yrs, have had quite a few mff and 4 mfm threesomes over last 15+ yrs. Last mfm was 3 yrs ago, but we have a "special lady" who joins us from time to time, including this past wkend.
If the relationship is solid, the kinks can be fun as well as strengthening.
I'd be concerned if she wants to add another MAN to be the 3rd, and refuse. I sure as hell won't mind if she agrees to another woman, with the understanding that anything goes in all combos, not with the limitations this Sarah placed on the 3some, which is typical.
@@kbrewski1So why wouldn't you agree to another man, if you'll be fine with another woman?
@@bettermouztrap9459disagree, that all depends. My wife and I were separated for a while, and were both intimate with others, and now we are back together, very happy and sharing our fantasies.
First one has been reported as a top 5 fantasy for women for years, with the two main theories being the removal of guilt regarding the act and the idea that the guy finds them so desirable he cannot control himself. Thing to keep in mind of course is that as these are fantasies so even though the fantasy is to have no control they are in fact still in control, it is their imagination after all, so don't go trying it with a woman without significant prior discussion.
Yes, the discussion on rules, so the woman may actually have more control than many think. And know what physical danger there may be. Things like "safe words" and what is OK and not. But it can also help men as it gives them "control" and the idea (illusion) they can do what they want is freeing and may help some who may have some ED issues. And some woman if they have some senses removed can focus more on others. Something like a blindfold cuts off sight and can help the woman, or man, create a fantasy since they do not have to overcome their sight imputs.
Like many things there is a huge trust issue, not just during but before and after. If the people do not know and trust each other it can blow up in very bad ways that can ruin a relationship and more.
How easy is it for people to make "bed fun" not just lust but play?
Perhaps the biggest fantasy is that it can be done to start with. In the current relationship scene, trust may just not be possible. Today, how many people can you really trust?
Disclaimer; the previous is conecture and not to be taken as anything I have actually done or experianced. It wasn't me I didn't do it.
Jack Nicholsonin in as good as it gets was right, though. Number 1 is ALSO a fantasy for women because if they were 'forced' they are not responsible for the results...often a baby. And who does that leave to once again have responsibility...but no control?
Yeah, i don't buy the "just a fantasy" thing.
The reverse is on the top 5 of men's fantasy as well, just not quite as high as the opposite.
Feeling desired to this level is a huge ego boost, and for all those raised within shame/guilt environment regarding sex and their role in it can feel the abandonment of not being "to blame".
There can be many variation on how this unfold, weiter the woman is being raptured or the man is,
(brute force, weapon, drugged, blackmailed, tied up during sleep, obeying a boss or a cop or teacher or any situation where you feel like you are not in control.)
at the end of the day, the main element is usually that he or she feel desired rather than scorned, that he or she get to enjoy one or more orgasm without the guilt of being responsible for them to have happened, and in some ways their submission may have won them "affection" from the rapturer.
Usually a person they found attractive enough that they would do it with them anyway if they were asked to consent. (But pretending they didn't give consent is the whole point in this game.)
It's relatively different from full on Bdsm where contempt and degradation are put into the mixt in a darker way, feeding a self destructive persona rather than looking for an ego boost of "Oh, I'm so beautiful /dashing that this person went crazy over me and had to have me by any means necessary."
Regarding what she said about past dark experiences, people should know that it can either deter the person from any such games whatsoever, or in the opposite, push them to try and recreate the situation with variant, perhaps trying to regain some control over their past. Those are usually less "fun" and more trauma related though, and you should really talk it trough with the person before exploring those. Because sometimes, the part of them that want this isn't necessarily a part of them that think of their best interests.
@@Galatorm it's not just equal. It's valued and worth the effort that YOU are putting out. You as a person matter, not just as a sex servant
The main theme is selfishness. As long as she is the center of attention and you expect nothing in return, THAT is what she wants.
Basically"She" wants to be used(as if she was a toy) by a bunch of barbaric men
Lol basically. Just imagine a guy who said these things. Want oral with no recip. Want 3 some but both have to focus solely on him. Seems like a jerk not built for a relationship. Don't let your girl's pretty smile fool you. Girls can be jerks too
I was literally just thinking that
Yep, all the attention, none of the accountability.
Yes it’s called a fantasy for a reason…or do you not get that?
A young woman should be very aware of this quote as it applies to them. “My candle burns at both ends it will not last the night. But ah my foes and oh my friends it gives a lovely light”
To be honest, I'm frankly kind of disappointed.
There was no mention of having a robot butler, a talking monkey friend, or a bank heist.
And especially disappointed by no mention of a talking robot monkey butler friend who helps you plan the bank heist and volunteers to drive the getaway van.
Smh. Y'all ladies is dull.
LOL 😂😂😂😂
For me, sexual intimacy with someone should be a reward for building healthy trust and emotional intimacy. Emotional intimacy arises within communications within the containment that happens between a man and a woman. As an analogy, it should be the desert at the end of a very satisfying meal. I believe in touching, hugging, and cuddling as a necessary prelude to this because that builds desire and verifies your mutual attraction.
you are a normal helath being among weirdos and people who use sex as an addiction to escape reality
I am a woman. I agree with you.
For a woman, the only thing worse than being sexually harassed is not being sexually harassed.
-Denny Crane, Boston Legal
@@BurningPhoenix1995 Only - if they think he's attractive?
Nope say the game is rude this time that explains it better
The biggest danger is that the women will later use these as reasons for divorce and restraining orders.
“Harass” is one word, not two😏
@@DC05570I am using it in the plural form, not singular form.
DON'T bring another person in your bedroom. The key is arousal and nothing else. Fantasy is mental. Turn the lights off, tell her a story of that happening. Let her mind focus on the story and your achieving everything without the infidelity. This way the fantasy stays alive.
Don't risk a sure thing for an hour of fun.
I agree with this. All the benefit of the fantasy and none of the after guilt/jealousy/drama.
Talking about things and fantasizing are miles away from the actual act.
SURE THING?
YOU ARE A GENUIS WITH AN I.Q. OF 198. SERIOUSLY I MADE MY BONES AND REPUTATION DOING JUST THAT. 700 WOMEN CAN'T BE WRONG. GIVE OR TAKE 50.
LMAO! It's not the 19th Century anymore.
True! People have trouble to distinguish fantasy from desire and reality 😕
The first one is absolutely true. They especially like to record it while encouraging their man to make it look real. That way, when they get pissed at their man for something totally unrelated, they have evidence when they decide it's time to ruin his life.
Yep
Amber Heard that kinky kinkerson!
Nah, she won't be calling out her guy's name (cos its a stranger in the fantasy) so there's nothing to say it's actually him...
okay incel
Damn bro. Who hurt you?
They'd not wanna share but they wanna be shared. 😂
I feel if a woman fantasizes about bringing someone else in sexually, she's obviously not solely interested in you anymore, sexually. Once you cross the threshold of desire, it's hard to go back. Always the wonder and thirst will be
Yup... if you want an open relationship do it from the start. Her asking to open an existing closed relationship is a sign she is probably already cheating on you.
bringing in a woman vs a man is completely different. Completely. having a secure woman and secure in yourself is imporant. Many younger girls ( as she mentions numerous times because they are more mature) NOW are a different bread. She explains in the beginning nicely WHO this applies to and their state of mind and security with the other person. But bringing a woman in on a threesome vs another man, totally different.
Na... my wife and I crossed that bridge once 20 years ago. Now very very happily married 20 years. We talk about the incident fondly, but no repeat performance. It's like a lot of 1-off experiences. Been there, tried that.
If she fantasized that then time to dump her. She's for the streets!
@@IaconDawnshire IF she feel confident in the relationship to express it, she is likely very much into you, otherwise she would hide it. Study after study shows that couples who are least likely to break up or divorce are highly religious and swingers who enjoy adding variety into their sex and social lives. Statistically couples in swinger life style report the most long term partner satisfaction. Those two life styles might seem opposite but they have common the important common feature of honest communications and security in the relationship. If your girl expresses her fantasy of being with another woman it shows she feels safe to express feelings to you without judgment. That is a key to lasting quality relationships. The swinger couples I know have the best, most loving and solid bonds. Variety and experimenting only really is possible when the core relationship is solid. We all have fantasies but we only share the with people who we know are very committed to us where they would never hide anything. We have all had girls ask what we think of a pretty girl walking past, and when a relation is not solid she is trying to test you and you are going to lie about thinking she was hot. A great relation is one where you can opening admit you thought the girl was hot and it only brings you two together more. That is why couples who have honest communications can act out fantasies and only bond closer. Go to an lifestyle event, and notice how many couples are older, been solidly devoted to each other for decades and talking with them it shows even if one or both want variety and fun playing with others, and they share their impressions and sensations with their partner. It is about connecting, sensations and acting out fantasies and not love or sneaking around.
Words are my tools of trade, and I really enjoy the verbal gymnastics you go through avoiding RUclips’s rules while still saying what you want to. You are very skilful at it, I must add.
Just wait, some fruit market channel is going to get a strike for talking about a grape 🍇.
I have a fantasy of a recliner with a built in crapper and fridge stocked with ice cold beer.
Typical guy fantasy.
@@jacksong8131 it would be total bliss!
With a built in washroom also?
Amen
Oh, dude. That is the funniest comment I have ever heard. You should do stand-up 😅😅😅😅😅
It's difficult to put this into words. I had several GFs who really wanted to be slapped/pushed around (at the right time/place), to be a sex object and nothing more. One wanted way more than I was comfortable doing. She even enjoyed the bruises the next day. She earned much more than me and could have any choice of how to spend her personal time. To see her in public you would never imagine that this is what she enjoyed which made it more exciting. I imagine girls with all the p*rn star tattoos (such a turn off) are the opposite at home. Maybe I'm wrong since I never had any interest in girls who are heavily inked and avoided them.
So when we see women with circular bruises on their arms and things. This could be from rough sex?
I hate tattoos on a woman especially
Tattoos aren’t attractive on women. It just screams the opposite of feminine beauty. Like are you a heavy drug user or are you playing as one. Regardless both are a mental problem.
That was a great read until you mentioned the tattoo thing. I mean WTF do tattoos have to do with porn? There are plenty of women in porn without tatts and plenty of women with tatts who don't work in porn...c'mon! You should just be happy to have had that great opportunity there
You lost me at tattoo
Triangulation rarely works for the majority of people in a LTR. When the relationship hits rough periods, what was fun in the moment ALWAYS gets redefined as a betrayal (even years or decades down the road). It is difficult to cross that line and maintain trust.
It IS a betrayal. That may not be the end of the story.
@@msimon6808what's a betrayal?
@@kbanghart Triangulation
The toy thing is 💯 fact. My 52 year old GF throws pillows when I use the toys and then just hold her. You think “what’s in that for me”? Wait 1/2 hour and then she WANTS to reciprocate. Trust me…
Glad that works for you. My experience with my ex wife was quite the opposite. I did that for her, and she didn't care in the slightest if I got anything out of it, and had no interest in reciprocating. Then again, she was a full on narcissist, so maybe the moral there is don't marry a narcissist...
Wait...women reciprocate? 😮😮😮
😋😂
@@rmcclure21
Selfish 💯💯💯
@@rmcclure21: The modern world does seem to create narcissists at an alarming rate these days, doesn't it?
I don't need reciprocation that same day, but do need some time to myself afterwards, lol. I'll get mine and have been getting mine. It's fun. Try keeping all your clothes on the entire time, and at the end your woman will will be embarrassed that she's the only one not wearing clothes. It's awesome and hilarious and endearing. It's almost like dominating them without the dark side.
This all sounds like a lose/lose situation to me.
Thankfully, I am happily divorced.
@T-elegrammeMrs_Sarah_dawnmoore do you not understand how RUclips works? You’re not the owner of the channel.
Go scam yourself.
Probably why your divorced
@@trevorhall6061 I’m divorced because she’s mentally unstable. She was fine in the beginning but over the years she went downhill. The proverbial daddy issues just got worse. I found medical paperwork that proves that. She was abusive to the kids, a liar, and a cheater. I just talked to one daughter yesterday about some of the abuse that happened.
Now it is my understanding she’s becoming a drunk and refuses to get help.
Another daughter has stated that she thinks her mom has narcissistic personality disorder. She’s taking classes in such things.
@@NtDs90sorry mate, for some reason l thought you where a woman and l was being sarcastic. I went through something similar to you 33 years wasted. Good luck
@@trevorhall6061 no worries. I’m happily divorced. Kids are somewhat happy how the divorce played out. I’ve got the last two in therapy because I care about their mental health and they’re seeing that.
Hope everything is going good for you.
One day it's a turn on the next it's SA even with a long-term GF or wife. Don't do it!
My wife introduced toys earlier on in our relationship , it started out slow , but wow now it added a whole another level to the bedroom and our role plays .
Overall we like a lot of things sexual, we each wrote down 10 ideas put in a bucket for our list to draw from, some was fantasy type and some was on the edge lol.
@@1Whitetail That’s a good idea , we usually end up playing a dice game for play or sexual play , which I’d imagine is considered on the edge . I’d like to try it a little edgier , simply for the experience .
@@markwolo2524 To us it's all fun, we love the blindfolds a lot being touched by what or whom. Once at a hot tub gathering one night the girls blindfolded the guys and stood near the tub while the ladies would suck about 2 minutes then moved to the next one and repeat again. We the guys didn't know which one did what. Just fun stuff. My favorite has to be master and slave, one in control and obeys the order. Yes it goes both ways being in control. Hope you both get comfortable with it, opens a new world of excitement.
@@1Whitetail Sounds exciting , we’ve never done any group thing , but we’ve dabbled in the dom/ sub both of us enjoyed it .
@@markwolo2524 we love it too, sometime we go places just public bars & clubs outside of town and play it there. Wife gets a chance to show she's a good sub.... which I like also.
As for the first point, it more likely results from the woman being made from the man and wanting to return or join to him. If he does it because she wants it, it isn't fantasy, its reality. The woman prefers being controlled by the man because she assumes it expresses his desire for her.
The second point makes no sense. Men can finish much earlier than women and every woman will know that because they almost never finish at all, when he's done, its over. However, women are able to repeat the experience several times, so oral or toys doesn't reduce the woman's desire for another round. The reason for oral/toys, would be for the man to develop a better understanding of the woman's tension dynamic and be able to 'regulate' it with some skill. This can then be used to reduce the gap to (almost) simultaneous and/or closely successive timing. But the woman's concern is unfounded, all men operate on confidence, so any show of submission is guaranteed to deliver the desired outcome, in fact young men(16 - 25) don't need confidence, the thought of it is enough.
The third fantasy cannot be reality because you're dealing with two women who expect the encounter to be only about her, which is impossible. It cannot end well, regardless of the man involved.
These fantasies aren't helpful in a long term relationship, but they can be adjusted to provide a better union by finding it more exciting to improve the intimacy rather than reduce it.
However, since these are fantasies that most women may prefer to keep that way, it means the option is always open to consideration when she gets bored. Does the thought of these fantasies kick her back to reality, or leave her uninterested?
Thanks sometimes we'd like to think of things that shouldn't do. Endless regret can be part of it
Well said - thanks for the share on the rules. My ex-wife told me on our 3rd date that she was bi and wanted an open relationship. We would be with other women together but she wanted to see other couples on her own. She was open and honest as to what she wanted and I had the choice to take it or leave it. I chose the lifestyle with her, it was not always easy, jealousy for both of us at time but I would not change any part of what we had together. We had rules and were straight up with others. We were together 12 years and broke-up over money matters.
As for the element of force, it works as a fantasy because she can always use a "safe word" or just tell her partner to stop, at any time.
Toys are useful to explore, or have pleasure "on demand". However, there is NOTHING like sharing yourself with another person, together. Toys can be included.
The ONLY time to invite someone into 3(+) playtime is to when you recognize"you aren't enough". At which time, you SHOULD "hire" someone, to leave afterwards!
Totally disagree on the "threesome only when u recognize u arent enough!" Thats asking for disaster! In fact my wife and I do not do anything with anyone else UNTIL we are at a mutual "place" with each.
And the "hire" part is called prostitution and illegal! Smh
Totally agree to hire someone. You aren't paying them for sex, you're paying them to leave.
@@1twistedcpl6575 "illegal"? Everywhere? Are you speaking for the whole planet? This is the Internet after all.
Well, drawing upon my 50+ years of experience with women, I felt I had to weigh in on these ideas. I am from the era of Free Love, Swinging, Swapping, and Open Relationships, so I do know what I am talking about. The first one, grape/domination fantasies, yes, quite common. BUT only as a role playing fantasy, not in real life, obviouly. Think about it, women's trashy, romance novels are most commonly referred to as "Bodice Rippers" for a reason. The second one, playing with her toys. Trust me on this one, once you figure what she likes, really likes - especially the things she reluctant to admit she really likes - you'll have her clawing the sheets, babbling incoherently, and thrashing around like you were performing an exorcism on her. And, once you discover just how much power you have, you won't need to take your pants off to be satisfied. The third one, you and another woman making your woman the center of attention. Be very, very careful with this one. Done this with a couple women. One liked it as a "one and done" fantasy. The other one liked it a bit more. I came home from work a few days later to find she had left me and moved in with the other woman. Oddly, the fantasy you didn't mention, making her the center of attention with another guy, never once caused any relationship problems. And it seemed to be a more common fantasy.
Really good points. I will add some more information about domination as a professional BDSM Master. "Grape" and Domination are two completely diffirent things. When it comes to grape fantasies these are usually performed in a very controlled and safe envoriment with high amounts of turst. When it comes to True Domination however, people should be really careful. Women have died because idiots attempts to perform these acts. Unlike our "Dominant" counterpart, True Master's are educated torturists. When we speak of "domination" it's often reffered to as dominating her sexually, meaning body and mind. When you master the art of BDSM literally all women will come crawling back for more. And one last thing. That a woman have had unplesant experiences with men that abused their power, does not mean that the gates are closed forever. Power is a heavy burden to carry, don't let the crown play you as a fool.
@@khps9176 I have a favorite meme which puts the whole Dom/sub scene (vs BDSM) in perspective. A scantily clad woman, wearing a collar, kneeling with her hands behind her back. The caption reads "She's not tied up . . . Just well trained"
@@nahkohese555 Although i've never seen that meme. I get an amusing feeling about it. Kinda like the sterotypical Dom/sub. As Master's it's very common for us to make slaves kneel. Collars are quite interesting, because they can often contain a symbol that is uniqe to their Master. As we control everything in their life, it's not uncommon for us to present them publicly in sophisticated and elegant dresses. The really fantastic views, are when Master's walk around publicly in city centurms with slaves. We often walk in syncronization and if the Master stops. The slaves will kneel and wait untill he starts walking again.
The 'toy fantasy' is fine as long as she's not being selfish. Sex is a two-way street and both partners should receive pleasure.
Except the toy fantasy in the video was all about her being selfish, with the man specifically expecting and receiving nothing in return. The selfishness was the whole point. So saying it's fine ... as long as she's not being selfish doesn't make a lot of sense. "It's fine...as long as it's nothing like you described it."
It doesn't *always* need to be a two-way street. Focusing on your partner solely isn't some crazy thing, unless it's *every time* (and not a kink).
No, you don't keep score or try to make your sex "equal". Sometimes you just do things for each other. Different things at different times. Mix it up. Experiment.
Seduction is the process of going from a state of resistance to complete surrender. Thats why that fantasy is such a turn on for women because it recreates that entire process in a very condensed timeline.
For the first one, women who have been essayed tend to cope by seeking that same sort of experience. They can feel control and power over it by making it their decision. It can definitely strengthen that kink/ desire
exactly how every girl but one i know and have had on this 🐔 and used me to get over trauma say exactly this and then they go get the happy life they deserve and all i got now is a kink for CNC type stuff
For men and women, fantasy becomes something completely different when reality hits. In experimenting with the fantasy, care must be taken.
This is a good way to appear weak. Give them exactly what they want and they'll love you if you can stomach it.
Yup cause they will hold it against you later on
So true. I remember my ex once had a smokey eye. Afterwards, for a short period of time, she was afraid of getting pinned in a corner and letting someone to her neck. She also couldn't say "no" anymore. Back then, I was blinded by her "just a friend", "we just talked", "I dont know how to flirt", "your jealous and controlling" etc gaslighting, but in retrospect it seems like she got around the wrong guy to play her games
I've never had a problem with a woman who needs/likes to use toys, the problem is if I (or a guy she was with) had his own male-specific sex toys or even a sex doll, she would perceive that as a threat. Also women, at least in my experience, haven't been very open about what they like. It's like they want you to already know because they don't want to have to tell you, it's up to the guy to have telepathic powers.
i feel you bro, fukn bs i want her to blind fold me an use me to he hearts desire LOL most guys don't want to be InControl 24/7 I want the woman to control an dominate the whole scene do some freaky shit and having me guessing what that feeling is coming from
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I don't quit understand the entire use a sex toy on my mate. When in fact she could easily and more accurately use it on herself. The vast majority of the time I'm being told I did it wrong. It seems to me that why should I even be there when she could do it better herself.
@@basromd in that case I would find a different woman.
@@basromdoh that's awful. My wife and I love to use sex toys with each other.
@@julius-starkwomen want two kinds of men and they use various test to sniff out these men
There was an episode of Stat Trek enterprise, in it, Orion slave girls were trying to get the crew to take over the enterprise for them. One of the lines one of the girls used on a crewman was "I like the kind of Man who TAKES what he wants". I think some Women feel that way in Real Life.
Maybe...but if not then it's an arrest and jail time.
9:08 What you just said here. "What if he enjoys it with her more than you" is *proobably* why alot of guys dont like when girls want to use toys.. because.. "What if she enjoys it more than me?"
Wow, never have I heard so many absolutely absurd concepts bundled together.
And there in is your problem Or don’t you think!
Chic is a total grifter and looks like a nut job
Don't yuck on someone else's yum. We aren't all carbon copies of each other.
Complicated at best,lmao. It's a puzzle that can never be solved😂😊❤
Fantasy #4. A man who is tall, handsome, muscular with wealth and status. He will give her anything she wants and do everything possible to make her happy. While not asking for anything in return other than SEX and not having her take any accountability for her actions or decisions. SHE is willing to find that man any way she can, and will DUMP her current mate in a heartbeat.
#1 There are DANGERS in the "punishment action" though, because you can get to NERVE DAMAGE by improperly doing it. *START SLOW ... or EDUCATE YOURSELF before starting it!*
PAIN results in "reward DOPAMINE" ... which is why marathon runners are REALLY HAPPY after they cross the finish line. "Forcefully cycling" will also demonstrate this effect, when you had to struggle up a hill and then can "relax" downhill.
All this pressure for women to be...adults.
I’m 53 and my GF is 34, she is completely submissive in the bedroom. She introduced me to BDSM and being my “sub”….The sex is freaking insane. She wears anything I ask for, does anything I want and is the most fulfilling partner I’ve ever had. She cooks and cleans to so this is going to be a very long relationship….
I think I speak for every straight dude when I say: "You lucky son of a bitch motherf*cker!!!'
Congratulations on being rich. Much richer than her.
She have any sisters?
Lol
You must have 💰
Too much sex kills the sex later on in the relationship.
Man idgaf what anyone says y’all better not even think about trying that first fantasy. You’re asking for a case.
I think it would be understood that it woukd be consensual though. I mean obviously you both would know when it was gonna happen. Don't go out and just rape your gd or wife because a lady on yt said she'd like it.
Also talk it out it may not be the rape thing but wanting to be controlled and man handled.
@@fordshojoe8080 I don’t care if it’s someone’s wife of 20 years and she writes a 20 page dissertation about how she wants to try the fantasy. That’s still way to risky for a man 😂.
You can meet a woman you think is completely normal, then two weeks later she's screaming at you, "untie me!" 🤣
@@fordshojoe8080 in a world where consent can be withdrawn retrospectively it is just not worth the risk!
Bringing someone else into the bedroom is a recipe for disaster. If you love your partner and have a great relationship with them you should be open to acting out fantasies that are accommodating to both parties.
the #2 toy time one is accurate and fun. Sarah is right on this one.
ahhhh she said it the ultimate thing " its only and all completely just about her and she doesnt have to worry about you"....truer words...
Sarah, you did a good job at explaining these. I've heard others try as well. I don't think I'll ever be on board with the grape thing. It was requested of me from a long-term, headed for marriage, girlfriend and it basically ended our relationship. At first I thought she needed therapy but I searched for answers and found videos like yours. So, it is a thing but I still don't know why. Ever since the request, I realized I wasn't fulfilling her desires and felt very inadequate. I'm wondering, if most women are like this, will I ever be able to truly satisfy a woman? It really is a mind-f to me because she was so feminist, girl-boss, etc... I've heard her lament about "toxic masculinity" but then asks me to do that. What's more toxic than that?!?
I've had it brought up to and you know what sucked for me the most? Is knowing that I could never be that guy she doesn't know. It was a shitty feeling. She wanted to be kidnapped in a van and bound and everything. Its to much to deal with and could go wrong to fast
@@off6848 That's even worse than mine!
!!@@jtkilowatt9941 Geez what is WRONG with you guys !! The girls want to play and you go all righteous on them ! No wonder girls are so inhibited about this type of thing. Its fantasy guys - wake up! Sex play is a wonderful wonderful thing - in all its manifestations.
I've heard that some women in positions of power can want to relinquish power and be submissive in the bedroom...
The most we did was my wife's bf knock on door wearing a balaclava thing, he'd pretend to bust in, order me to stand in the corner while he forced himself on her, she pretending to be shocked etc etc etc. Haha fun times. Now ex-wife lol
You highlight talking and many comments here do as well. Communication is key. I saw a short quiz that had some outlandish things, but was very explicit. I decided to expound upon this and come up with a very big list and it was very eye opening to see and talk about the results of each of us. I highly recommend that.
So all three tips are that when it comes to your sexual partner, they only want it to be about them. Healthy advice. Cool story. 👍
Threesomes, I've never known a couple to do that where cheating and divorce didn't follow. 3 good friends each relationship somebody said you opened up the marriage and I like it.
This is a great production. Also, you do a great job. Thank you for your candor. I'm saving the link, so that I can share it with certain people, in order to broach the subject.
Good thoughtful presentation, very nice, very polished....good work !
Hey guys, listen up. This is how to end up in prison.
Yeah... definitely want any of that stuff on video. For fun purposes and also CYA if she turns out to be a psycho.
Ha oh probably. Yeah wait about 4 years before trying....
And that might be the fantasy of some men. Prison can be a magical place...
@@elderchili1trade interest not allowed
Trade interest not allowed@@adamfindlay7091
What's funny for me, is out of every woman that I have ever been with and what (there hasn't been to many) I remember of. Lol. In ref. to your #3 scenario, not even one of them was ever open to any kind of open relationship with another woman. They only wanted to be with me during our relationship. No one else lol.
Duh! That's why this vid is called fantasies they will never admit to! She's not gonna tell you dude
Several times in the office i heard men and women talk about their fantasies or turn ons. Contrary to what most people could imagine, basically guys were like "i guess it could be cool to have sex with like a really hot woman,like unbelievable hot woman" or "you know dude,like having two hot chicks all for yourself". When i heard women talking about their "fantasies" i heard shit that would make your stomach turn. There is people i distrust and avoid since those days cause of that. I felt revolt.
I'm not being facetious when I say do you mind expanding on some of the stuff you heard?
You gotta tell us what you heard!!! We're waiting with baited breath.
Why would anyone talk about this in an office? Great way to get a report from HR and lawsuit.
@@28pbtkh23 It's actually "bated" breath....not baited....but, I'll allow it.
@@jibbityjab2469 - it was at this moment that he knew he'd effed up. But I'm still waiting to read about these sick fantasies. Btw, I recently heard of one where a girl wanted her bf to hold a knife to her throat. Now that IS wacko.
Before my wife died of Covid October 18, 2019, we were married for 15 years and we did all three of those things numerous times that you’re talking about. I miss talking about the uncomfortable stuff with her thanks a lot. I just came from a funeral and you made me feel a lot better, thank you for sharing
50 years ago, Nancy Friday covered this topic extensively in her book "My Secret Garden".
Worth a read. Certainly raised my eyebrows at times. Mainly the amount of bestiality
Little women with large dogs always gets my curiosity going.@@JezaLoki
This seems to apply far more to those women who would consider themselves to be 'modern' women. And not to those who have a more traditional mindset and lifestyle. There was a study that I saw, (I wish I could find that again), which found that, the more one-nights-stands or s*x partners a woman has had through her lifetime, her sensitivity to any stimuli was greatly decreased, including the feel-good hormones that are normally released. Since it is a stimuli and like caffeine in coffee, you can get too used it. The hormones won't have the same effect as they normally would. It would make sense then, that one would have to find 'new' ways to create stimulation.
Oxytocin is the hormone you are referring to.
However, you are a little off the mark. The effects you describe are only in drugs, not hormones. The receptors for hormones can become less responsive when constantly exposed to an agonist (in this case oxytocin) but that is never permanent. Remove the agonist for a time and the responsiveness returns.
The correlation of oxytocin levels and number of partners is not actually relevant. The fact that women with high body counts progressively become less likely to permanently pair-bond is likely more part of their psychological makeup and personality than hormone levels, as well as the effects of social conditioning.
Its not the hormones, its the feel good pleasure chemicals of dopamine, serotonin, etc, that can become a bit subdued with constant novelty and ONS.
True
@@bobcharles7933Hormones can be as addictive as drugs. There are many adrenaline and serotonin junkies.
@@bobcharles7933 No, you are a little off the mark and not entirely correct on that. Oxytocin specifically decreases the sensation to pain. The hormone you are referring to is endorphins which is the pleasure inducing hormone in sex and correctly is not a form of a drug stimulant/amphetamine like in coffee.
I tried the grape thing and it didn’t work out. She ate the grapes and we watched a movie and snuggled. What did I do wrong??
Nothing. Some women do not have an imagination and are 100% practical
Were they seedless grapes? That could make a huge difference.
Regarding the 2nd tipp.... what to do as a man if she's always on the receiving end but never initiates anything towards you?
Yeah - this only happened to me ONCE .
In her defense ; she had never gotten off by either ex husband by oral stimulation .
Well I changed all that . BUT she enjoyed the experience SO much that when she got through ; it was like basically over .
After getting to know her better , I finally said after a handful of satisfying sessions for HER ONLY - “ hey , today how about you returning the favor “ ?
She gladly reciprocated , from then on !
All along she was waiting for me to TELL her to take care of me .
Try THAT , or you’ll become a simp .
Lulz divorce her lulz
Also lulz sleep with her best friend and sister and mother and grandmother lulz
Have you tried communicating with her? I know that is an exercise in frustration and possibly futile, but if you want her to initiate, have you expressed this to her, have you tried to encourage her, or asked her why she hasn't or won't?
It could be any infinite number of reasons with an infinite number of underlying variables. Maybe she can change it, maybe she will want to change it. Maybe she can learn to initiate. Without being her personal therapist and psychiatrist, and knowing her full history, nobody here can tell you anyway yes or no with any certainty.
But that's almost besides the point. If she can or does, great. The more important question to consider is what if she can't, or won't, for whatever reason?
It may ultimately end up being, worst case scenario, that she just literally cannot or will not initiate, ever. Worst case scenario. Is that a deal breaker? Is that the hill the relationship dies on?
If you're willing to accept that, down to the worst case scenario, then it's on you to learn cope, stop malding and seething, git gud, skill issue, etc.
If it comes down to this is absolutely her nature and she can't or otherwise is unable or unwilling to change it, then it's up to you to either accept that's who she is and how she is, or find someone else.
You don't get to stay with someone who can't change or won't change, as backed by factual evidence and history, and get upset when they don't or won't change.
You see she has a pattern of behavior. Either she changes it, you accept that's just how it is, or you leave. Or.lulz option you do something reckless and stupid lulz.
You can want and ask and hope all you like, but if she can't or if she won't, then you have to decide if that's the deal breaker or not.
Because if it's not, then you're going to have to learn to deal with it.
Otherwise you're only setting yourself up for endless frustrations and disappointments and probably lots of unnecessary arguments and eventually resentments, which will breed more misery and counter resentments. And if she ain't initiating now, once she really gets tired of your resentment she REALLY will not initiate, and you won't have even the smallest crumb of it.
Time for you to pack up and find a better partner
Let her know you’re replacing her too and no chance of getting back with her. They cannot stand rejection.
Have you talked with her about it? The horizontal tango is about give to each other. It should be mutual. If she dismiss your concern she is not reciprocating, which seems like a deeper issue than just the bed. I would start with discussing your desires and how to meet each person's needs.
She fantasy about her dream man while you do it. She had no love for you to do it. Divorce her.
It's great we can talk about these thing and understand each other better.
Gotta let her know that it’s not a rejection of her ideas to take care of you too,just a pause till later and that it fills you to be part of her “time “
Agreed. This is an excellent summary of my experiences as well. However, I have found that instead of referring to it as "punishment", to instead refer to it as "Discipline" - WOW! The word seems to remove the sense of guilt or that the woman has done something to disappoint her partner - as opposed to doing something nearly correct, but just not 'as correct' or perfect as possible. And women frequently want to do better, try harder, etc., not only in the bedroom but in everyday life. Give it a try, I've had amazing results ;-)
It also keeps you from getting a bad feeling about yourself. I never wanted to feel I punished her. I would tell her I wanted to make sure she stayed good. i would tell her I wanted her to keep being good. Some times she wanted me to punish her harder but I would tell her I can not do it to you.
@@roberts2099 I have an ex that asked to be punched hard in the face while going down. I had been in a similar position before and couldn't do it, this time I thought I'm not gonna appear weak and back handed the crap out of her and busted her lip. She went down crazy on me after that. They really are into this stuff and love it.
@@off6848 It’s just a plain fact. Women (well at least quite a few women) never want to admit it openly, but they enjoy abuse. (In bed, not everyday life) I’m not talking permanent damage, psychopathic type of abuse, but the type that reels them back out of their comfort zones. I think it turns women into being wild, wanted, raw sexual creatures, which all women secretly desire. It in a way it actually allows them to embrace their femininity for these reasons. It’s that thrill/danger/pain type of experience that releases the hormones endorphin that increases pleasure from pain and oxytocin which decreases the sensation to pain. You trigger high levels of both of these and it’s no wonder women feel like their experiencing similar thrills on a roller coaster ride while experiencing abuse at the hands of a dominant man and also explains why they lose themselves into wild uncontrollable sexual urges. It becomes a drug to them and like any pleasurable drugs creates a craving for it and a sexual high that releases inhibitions.
@@off6848wow. I have held my wife down but haven't hit her like that lol
@@roberts2099Me and my wife have fantasies about threesomes or hotwife sometimes, so when we're in the middle of it I ask if she's been good or naughty and then it goes from there lol.
Isn't a woman wanting all the focus on her pleasure a form of dominance?
As a man, I will NEVER do the grape. Those are dice I will never roll.
You can just think it while doing it. They can't put you in jail for thoughts.
When men suggest something, it's "sick, disgusting, disturbing and disrespecting". When women suggest the same, it's "exciting, new, different, sexy and romantic". That's reality.
Ahh my daily dose of Sarah Dawn wisdom!
I would not provide anything that could easily be twisted into an assault or battery.
She would have to request on video in advance that I fulfill her specific fantasy.
The third one kills LTR. I would never suggest this to anyone that’s serious about their relationship
As a guy, I actually love to use toys with my partner. I've always said my pleasure comes from her pleasure which I've honestly heard a lot of "Yeah...sure" to until they experience what I mean.
Agreed 100%! It seems that we men who derive pleasure from giving our ladies pleasure are in a minority....
@@0l_pops531 I sort of agree but there is a flip side to where the woman may start to prefer the toy over any "normal" sex stuff. I mean a toy buzzing & moving at many times the speed any guy can is bound to be very pleasurable but that can also make her desire for the guy expendable (and more "get the vibrator out" all the time).
Exact same. I discovered this at a very young age and it has served me well. Every woman I’ve been with , and that is many , love this kind of sex. *** After she gets off 1 or 2 times then be dominant and powerful with her while you devour her for YOUR own pleasure as if you’re Graping her. 100% fire every time. 😎👍
I hate it I've went along with it before but I won't do it anymore its not for me.
@@jibbityjab2469I guarantee this happens far more often than women would like to admit. Especially from those in LTR
In today's age, if she's wanting a fantasy like that, then run as fast as you can. Women deserve less.
Very informative Sarah, thanks for sharing this and hopefully some guys out there can make use of it. I thankfully just have Wristina to deal with 😎
THE LAW.... Once alcohol touches a woman's lips she CAN NOT 'consent' to sex. MEANING.. even if she does consent, she was legally impaired, and can have you arrested and tried for rape.... More specifically, in the State of California, a NEW LAW, states a woman has UP TO 10 YEARS.. to decide if she was raped or not. The point was, a woman might be too embarrassed to come forward immediately after a rape. Now she has up to 10 YEARS to decide... This makes women absolutely TOXIC... Dont even be alone with one. Assume they have a very contagious disease, and keep your distance, even in public.
Thousands of men will forget what you said.
Thank you for your very frank discussion.
Well done on a touchy subject
LPT: If you ever have need of a riding crop for ... ummm ... science. Don't waste your money going to the sex store, hit up the equine section at Fleet Farm.
The look on the girls face when all I bought was a riding crop at Cal Ranch... I'll never forget it haha
😂, I've dated 2 horse riding women and I think you're right, I think all that bouncing up and down on the horse makes them Horny, best lovers ever.
Thanks thrifty pal.
Shades of Grey.
Amazon carries them...not joking.
You say important things around 3:00 . Men don't get this (let alone women), but the Yin Power (Submission, Passivity) only works when the woman (in relationships women must express Yin and men Yang) is relaxed. And she can only truly relax if she doesn't have really complicated problems to solve, doesn't carry too much responsibility, and doesn't have to work too hard.
And men and women must organize this together, and the men must take the responsibility for everything. This is they key to truly profound and satisfying and productive relationships. In this zone of relaxation and surrender, is when the woman truly begins to radiate her beauty, inner and outer. But it requires real respect for the Yin Power, instead of seeing it as 'oppression', 'victimhood' and bs about 'equality'.
Men take the responsibility for everything, women help with everything. It's not about 'work for men' or 'work for women'. Both can do everything (except the most complicated/innovative, that's for the men), it's about both Yang expressing his power (domination through initiative) and Yin. Submission is not 'weak', it's the second greatest power in the Universe, that together with Yang creates EVERYTHING. Men also must learn submission. To God, to their boss, to men who are stronger than them, to their customers, etc.
Jesus, btw, was the Great Teacher of the Power of Submission, and most men (let alone women) still don't get it today. That is, with his previous manifestation 2k years ago. When he returns next decade, he will express Yang power.
Threesomes are a gateway to women loving to do it without you. Men should know and worry about this more than worrying about her insecurities. Especially when their friends are the same way. Happens all the time. If she just wants you watch she actually doesn't really want you there and comes from an unhealthy foundation from the start. Any "noise" to the contrary is just not true even if they believe it themselves. Seen it destroy not just relationships but whole families. This is something that should never be underestimated in already established monogamous relationships. It will change the whole dynamics going forward. Been there done that and seen that even more. It should NEVER be just about her but BOTH of you and caution changing everything going forward. Men really don't get the depths of this subject and what it can lead to. Bad advise
Exactly...the only time that stuff might work or be understandable would be if both people were already practicing swingers and met each other thru something like that. But in a monogamous relationship it's like introducing a mutating virus with unknown outcomes.
@jibbityjab2469 That is absolutely a perfect analogy. You hit it spot on and seem to grasp the potential gravity that can have. I personally believe it's horrible to suggest something like that by not really thinking about the layers it can have that you don't see until someone is there. It will have an affect. Even if it's only one of the two people.
This is great Sarah, but I’ve made my own way through, and for some reason I don’t remember, dropped my subscription.
Yeah...well, it's only my take, but I'd just take a pass on the toy dependent and lusting for another chick type of gals. Once I would hear about these preferences, it would be; "Pleasure to meet you, have a nice life." Out.
I noticed women I’ve been with like it when I put them in the position I want them to be in rather firmly and without asking and hold them in place as long as it’s not with the intention of harming or causing discomfort. There are several positions that cater to this and they seem to work really well if you sense that she’s into it.
Being aggressively taken is a big fantasy I’ve picked up on over the years. It’s not for me, I’m not into that per say but a lot of women are.
I once had a girlfriend's hands pinned together up above her head as I basically forced her to go down on me. No prior discussion or anything. It was just kind of fun for me and I took a chance that it would be acceptable to her. What I was NOT expecting was afterwards when she quietly told me how much she liked that part ...
I don't want to go to prison next time she's in a bad mood.
If I'm not good enough for her, she can just let the "toy" pay the bills, fix her car, and work on the house from now on.
If she wants another woman in bed, fine ! I guess again that I'm just not good enough. I'll move the bed out to the yard with the rest of her stuff and change the locks !
Girls love to have fun some people don't get . I like your shows u make lots of sence pretty lady
Gentlemen, be VERY careful with the "its all about you" thing with the ladies. At a certain point you will confront Nice Guy accusations and you will have caused that. That has been the beginning of the end for me more than once. Also, lets be cautious around the "women sre more nurturing" thing. Just saying. Sarah is very high value and we know more about how less-than-high-value women can behave than she does.
Sarah, look I understand, my machismo and magnetic appeal would want to make you salsa dance for hours. But sadly, sorry to disappoint you, I’m recovering from Achilles surgery. I’m so glad you’re doing this and your presentation is unique in the sense you’re not bullying men. Hearing women say I don’t care about your feelings! Wow! Breath of fresh air
That Dr you had on the lovely lady with the blue and silver hair was great. I truly can see how I’ve failed in my own relationships by making different mistakes
I had a live in GF for yrs...broke up she liked the whole bdsm thing 50 shades so I had this duffel bag of toys....so I met this new girl and we been going out for a few weeks and I think ....should I throw all this out or show her...? so I went for show her...her reaction was... wow awesome...so off we went....ya never know.
Many if not most want that and not restricted to those with a safe history. First young girl to get me into it had a tragic history, told her it made me want to treat her like a refugee (a guardian not a lover) and she immediately twisted that into a sex fantasy scenario, lol.
my new gf got into the bdsm right away. and said she always had a grape fantasy and wanting a knife held against her. we havent gone that far yet but im teaching her about everything and shes been a good sub and wears her collar everyday.
@@SgtJoeSmith Yeah that could be a bit much, I had trouble with real choking even, haven't even done it on request. Pinning her down, *holding* throat, tying up...that's all titillating. But whatever works for the two of you without harm.
@@Mrbfgray I told her maybe a butter knife. But let's work up to it to make sure she still wants it. I'm her 1st guy. She only had a girlfriend before. And never done any this stuff before
@@Mrbfgray: Yeah, kinda old school here. If I ever choked a woman I'd feel the need to beat the crap outta myself and haul my arse to the fuzz to be arrested. Just couldn't do it. I have never understood this inclination to bring violence into these things... but maybe because I've seen quite a lot of violence over my life I am jaded towards it.
You rotate between your real boy toy and her toy.....she will explode. Ask her if she's "comfortable being uncomfortable" and she gives you that look of curiousity... well.
No rotation needed. She have multiple holes
There is a fine line between kinky and perverse. Using a feather is kinky. Using the whole chicken is perverse ....
Lol - well put
Funny!
The third one DEFINITELY is NOT a fantasy of mine... yuck! No one I know would be into that. Most women want men who are faithful to them, as they are to their man. Anything that smacks of polygamy would be a deal breaker to me. If my husband even MENTIONED that as a possibility I'd start considering the end of that relationship was near and I'd no longer trust him= less sex.
If she shares her fantasy, she is likely to be a narcissist because it is all about her own enjoyment and not his. If she doesn't share her fantasy and you find out, she is more likely a giver, not a taker.
The problem with #3 is that to have those exclusions will make the man feel ugly, there’s two women here and none are interested in me. It’s better to allow some attention. As with everything, you have to allow for the humanity of a man as well.
If you're a Mom, dog owner.... you know stuff like that. This woman has no idea what she's talking about
Great video!!
I had a girlfriend that fantasized of murder and cannibalism. She never told me in those words. But, she would often say things like, "Floor it and kill him! Then let me out and let me eat his liver!" "That girl looking at you might be looking down the blade of my knife is she keeps, that up! Then I will skin her and throw out the bones!" I was rather afraid to break up with her. But she was never cruel to me. That was my next girlfriend that had that distinction.
Wow. If true, which is doubtful, I'd be out of there faster than you can say "I ate his liver with a nice chianti and fava beans".
@@kbrewski1 She was never evil to me. But I was rather nervous to leave her when she knew where I lived. I think she was all talk. She was a much better girlfriend than my last one. She moved to New York City. A few years later, I moved to northern Saskatchewan. I will likely never see Leiah, my cannibal, again. She actually liked when I called her that. Hopefully, I will never see Angela, my last girlfriend, again.
That's fckn metal 🤘
Holy shit Dude!!!
@@ericwarren7719Leiah was crazy but kind. Angela was Satin's top student in Hell. I would not mind seeing Leiah again. Angela, is the one I hope I never see again.
Well done on tackling a tough subject.
I tried number three, it absolutely destroyed a really nice relationship. Don’t recommend it to anyone.
A lot make them work and enjoy them but requires security, non jealousy, and communication