Thank you so much Dee, I needed to hear this today, you are correct, selfcare is healthcare. I hope your day is a lovely one. Warm regards from Jacqui in Perth Australia. x
Hi Jacqui - am listening to my body today and have a day of doing a basic minimum of 'tasks'. I have at long last learnt that it is fine to do this and not to feel guilty. The world carries on and the housework is still around to be done the next day. Warm regards back to you - take care. Dee
My mother once told me.....its no ones "job" to love you, so learn to love yourself. Its no ones job to create happiness for you, so create it for yourself. If someone comes along and chooses to participate in 'your' self love and 'your' happiness creations, then enjoy that, but if they begin to implement their versions of love and happiness that demand that you set yours aside, respectfully decline and move on. But keep moving, to sit in a rut and expect someone else to pull you out because again.....thats no ones 'job' but yours! With great independence comes great personal responsibility! When you own that, you own yourself, and in turn....you will never allow anyone else to own you!
I wish my mum gave me positive advice. Hers is all “don’t trust anyone. All men are bastards. Prepare for EVERYTHING to go wrong. “ I guess I’m hanging onto her criticisms and judgements and negativity … 58 years later 🙄
Thank you so much for your comments - they mean a lot to me. Sitting by daffodils took me back to a field course from uni when I had a photograph taken sitting in a field of daffodils... 55 years ago. Must look it out now that the memory has been triggered!
@@KC-lg8qf Unnecessary comment. You couldn’t just like their be some love for old women when they’re already so overlooked? It’s not only “some of them” it’s MAJORITY and overall they are sweet and wise.
True …. My mum mum started hoarding after my sister died at 20 Her whole house is literally full of stuff to the roof now It’s from trauma …. it’s a disease in the mind 😫
No one can make you feel anything without your permission. Rather, it’s how you feel when you around that person. Your feelings, good or bad, will be known immediately in their presence. That will tell you more about yourself, than the other person. 💕
One of the most genuine and real videos I have seen on YT in forever. No over-dramatics, no script, no big clip shifts. Just like the talking to somone as if they were right next to you. The information is spot on. Love it!
As a 22 year old young woman, trying to find her way in this world, I definitely needed this. Am holding on to things and people that are truly not vital and beneficial for my mental health and am starting to see the impact it has had on me for these past 4 years. I need to let those dead leaves fall. Thank you for creating this video. May God bless your sweet soul ❤
Take care young lady - I am hoping that doesn't sound patronising! Letting those leaves fall is good - but also recognise the new green growth - be honest and recognise your strengths and be proud of them. This isn't being boastful, rather being truthful to yourself. D
What a lovely lady you are. I seem to have spent most of my life caring for others but as I get older, I realise that I need to start taking better care of me.
Absolutely! You really need to - an occasional treat to start with? Doesn't have to be big. I remember talking this through with a client many, many years. I was encouraging him to treat himself better. We dicussed what he could do and after struggling to think of anyting he settled on -I'll have a cream cake on Thursday. And he did! D
It is refreshing to read the many positive comments about this lady. Perhaps older women sharing their wisdom on YT may lead Americans to hold older people in higher regard.
My husband died. Ive never had health issues until the anxiety and grief came..it can do nasty things to your body! I found comfort in your words. Thank you so much
Bereavement can affect us in so many ways. As Dee mentions, being kind to yourself is very important. Cruse bereavement is a very supportive organization, if you feel you need to reach out for support. I worked as a volunteer with them for several years. They are a wonderful organization. I'm glad to hear these gentle words from this lovely lady have been helpful. Take care.😊
I’m 24 in a year and half marrying and after alot of pain and disappointment..I’m realizing that I am the love of my life and my source of happiness comes from within. It is a hard lesson but I’m learning. Thank you for your wisdom 💗
Listening to you speak brings tears to my eyes. I feel so much warmth, wisdom and love while watching your videos. Thank you for sharing your wisdom. I am so grateful I came across your channel. Wish I could hug you through the screen ♥️
Thank you so very much - I appreciate your comment - am sure I felt a hug come through the ether! Do take care - and apologies for only just having seen your comment. D
I just found your page and the amount of help you've provided me in a short timeframe is like a breathe of fresh air as if I'm being heard for the first time. Thank you
This is why I journal a lot when my mind ruminates over things or things bother me and I can't stop twisting and turning the issue in my head. Writing things down in a journal really helps to give the head space from the situation.
Thank you Dee…the advice about cutting off toxic relationships is so true It is vital…it is not selfish It’s an absolute necessity The bible clearly states to surround yourself with like minded people who edify you lift you up….to stay away from angry selfish people Iron sharpers Iron 😀
It is a blessing that the algorithm brings me here in times where I needed the most. I am grateful to have people like you in this world to spread wisdom and remind people to be kind to themselves. Your videos have tremendously helped me through tough times, and I am eternally grateful to you. Cheers from Malaysia.
Gas lighting! must be a narcissist. Me too 34 years. Letting Go was something I so much needed to hear. I got fibromyalgia and knew time to go. self love is hard when you are not used to doing it but only around takers. 🙏 Thank you.
I just found this channel this morning, although I feel like it found me. I lost my mother when I was 20 about 5 years ago & often wish I was able to go to her for advice & guidance & wisdom. Finding another beautiful woman willing to share your lessons & life experiences makes me feel closer to her & like I can still find that guidance in other ways. Thank you for sharing these beautiful videos and for sharing your vulnerability & lessons. I am so grateful for people like you 🫶❤️
Thank you for this video. Taking your advice. My mom died out of no where 3/7/24. I miss her so much. I realize life is too short and cannot keep going on in this marriage. He’s a narcissist and will never change. 13 years he keeps cheating. I caught him on 5/30/24 having an online long distance relationship with my ex friend. I put off our divorce because of the debt and his legal troubles. He doesn’t value me or our relationship it’s time to thrive not survive anymore. Ready for divorce.
I’m so sorry for your loss. It like your eyes have been opened. I’ve had several friends who divorced in their 50s and 60s. That meant it had been bad for a long time. How awful that is. One’s already fallen in love again, in her 60s! Good for her. Who knows what life has for you, if you cut out the negativity?
God bless you, I hope you find the courage to leave and realize that you are worth more than what you’re putting up with. But don’t put yourself down for trying to make it work and giving him chances. That’s beautiful that you cared and loved someone that deeply. Wear that love around your neck like it says in the bible It’s your love. It will always be your love.
Hello from New Zealand. I watch a lot of things on you tube about the two World Wars. I also watch Russians singing or dancing. I get a feeling of extraordinary beauty and strength from these people who practise so hard. I am very amazed by the strength of some Peoples like Russian people. I have briefly known only 3 Russian people in my life in New Zealand, and they were all very, very special people to me. I have a beautiful impression of the people. So I am very interested in what they write in comments. Most of the time I cannot understand any of their comments. I think what other people write in English can be rude, so that might be why very little is written in English. But I am happy reading a comment from your country that I admire so much. It is a rare opportunity to say hello. Or Kia ora, which we also say here.
@@barbsmart7373 Thank you so much for all the kindest words. I strongly believe they are sincere. In our days when hatred is so often in the air, it's absolutely crucial and invaluable to hear warm words from anyone, even from a stranger.
@@Юлия-у5з2ж I truly look up to the Russian people, because the things I look at and the people I have met are all so wonderful. I learned that we can choose our thoughts and to always keep thoughts that make us feel better. The thoughts that make us feel worse can be changed with happier thoughts. But I also will devote time to looking at myself honestly. That is not pleasant at first till I have found lots of positives in it all.
Youre such a blessing in my life right now 🙏❤ I have longed for a grandmother a mother to have these conversations with and you’re filling that void for me . Thank you ❤🙏
You have a lovely speaking style, your past students were lucky to have had you as their teacher. Being kind to ourselves is increasingly more important as time rages on faster and faster it seems.
Thank you for your wisdom. I recently found your channel, I’m 21 years old and I was just broken up with by someone who I really cared about. Your message is helping me move forward and realize to let people go when they want to leave your life no matter how much it hurts.
You are very young but wise already. My best advice is when someone shows you who they really are, believe them the first time. Always trust your gut🙏🏻💕
A lovely reminder that we ALL can eventually realise that we have the resources to 'heal' our troubled selves. Thank YOU for sharing what you realised.
Aunt Dee and this community is so kind, i loved the comments section too. How pure hearted and the light(peaceful) feeling i am in. Learning through others too❤ All the things i longed my heart to hear and see this new feeling like it somehow heals my heart and mind that me myself never felt my entire life.💕
Thank you Dee. So honest and sometimes you think you will never get rid of these feelings and thoughts. Especially over a long period of your life hard to get the real you back. "They are very stubborn! You know you have to keep trying. That stress is a real thing!!!!!
Oh dear, this made me cry hard. I relate to you because I'm 24 and have been going through so much pressure, stress, and strong feelings towards my own career and family problems, plus the end of the most important friendships i had, i feel abandoned, unloved, invisible for the people i thought i was valuable to. I almost became obssesed trying to understand what was wrong with me, or dealing with the idea that life is just that way and letting go is part of it. But now, after all this emotional discharge, i'm having health problems that made me understand inmediatly that I had to stop, i let all those situation drain my energy, i'm exhausted and scared for being diagnosed with some serious issues. But this was limit, i promise focusing on myself, my health, positive thoughts and loving the right people, thanks for your words
Worded exactly what I’m going through. I’ve done a deep dive into trauma to try to heal, but now my body is giving in. I can’t do this anymore. My body demands that I don’t. I have to go back to my old self: loving, caring, positive. Cautious, discerning, observant.
@@benephysiologytm4144 Your old self sounds lovely - very positive characteristics. I am confused about what makes returning to this? Sorry if I have misread. D
@@benephysiologytm4144 Why do you feel that loving, caring and positive person wasn't right? I feel that's precious, and any situation should take that away from you.
Thank you, I currently let go of someone who was hurting me. It is so hard to move on from. I am trying to care for myself and consider what I like and what makes me happy. I am trying to forgive myself for my own mistakes. This video is everything I needed to hear right now. ❤️
I am 70 and survived cancer last fall. I look at life differently now. Letting go is a process. Love this lady I just discovered ❤. Now if I could get my husband on board 😱
Your energy is so so beautiful Dee, thank you kindly and most warmly for sharing your story with us, alongside your thoughts as well as advice. The words you say are like threads being sown together by the angels of heaven. And your energy is of upmost authenticity and love. Thanks for being here, your presence and aura have given plenty of hope, warmth and reassurance to my day. Many blessings and hugs as well 🙏🙏❤❤❤
In France where I live… we still have leaves on the trees that haven’t fallen off over the autumn and winter.. new leaves have bloomed with the old ones.. maybe this is a representation of life right now. I hope you are feeling better within yourself. Thank you for your thoughts.
So very relatable……. Oh those toxic relationships 😢. Cheerio to those! Hello Shakespeare and classical music, more reggae and laughter too 😊. Thank you ❤🙏🏻
I had to walk away from my NPD family when I was 52. I should have done it decades before. It's not dispresctful. Its self preservation. If some one is treating you like a door mat you have to walk away. No matter who they are ❤
I had to do the same at 58. And 2 yrs later walked into a stage 4 cancer diagnosis. I am so grateful for the lessons despite the challenges along the learning path
Funny thing is i have never really thought of myself, i now just think of my son and others. I am not unkind to myself its just that i made it hard to be kind to myself. Thank you, i guess i needed to hear this and i wish you all the best this life has to offer.
Thankyou for such a helpful video. I said goodbye to a long term friendship at the start of the year and the situation still mills round my head which I find rather draining. It took me six years to finally realise that being around her was toxic and making me unhappy. She is in a highly abusive marriage .
Thank you for this video 💖I had a narcissist mother , that I cut contact with over 5 years ago or more now , I believe it’s part of the way brought up .. Conditioning makes me overthink things & negative self talk . I appreciate listening to this as coping skills on just let things go , as it is beneficial to self care & self help . It takes a lot practice ❤️🔥
Thank you, I’ve just found your channel. It’s refreshing to find content from a woman with courage to speak out who wants to share and pass on the wisdom. ❤
I appreciate this lady so much. I would have loved to get this kind of advice from my mother or nan so it helps a lot to hear them from a lovely wise person on a youtube channel that I came across just randomly. Thanks for what you're doing! x
From the deepest parts of my heart - Thank you so much, Dee. I cannot tell you how much finding your channel has helped me during this time. Lots and lots of love to you
Thank you so much for your delightful videos. I was diagnosed with MS at the age of 17--I am now 57. Your words of wisdom have helped me to get through the angst that being kind to myself IS acceptable and actually responsible. I worked until my body ran out (33). It's not been easy to accept that even though my family is gone and I am now alone I CAN do it ( I only need GODs strength to flow through me now!! And remind myself to "let the dead leaves fall" ❤❤(Thank you maame', your channel is lovely)
Such a beautiful lady and such a gentle voice. Thank you for your wise words. I appreciated that message today as am tussling with a decision regarding letting go of a toxic relationship. I’m almost 75 and sometimes it holds me back from letting go. There are no guarantees in life but I know that I’m not happy as things are. X
Get that tussle out of your head -make a pros and cons list about letting go. It can help to clarify things - especially if 1 column is way longer than the other. Take care D
oh Dee I did that too. We have a lot in common. Be kind to yourself. Spot on. I visualise my inner child and nurture her. It's very calming. Lots of love. xx
Those inner children deserve TLC don't they! In my garden the other day, I was watering using my hose pipe - she encouraged me to imagine a statue was an old bully and I squirted her. Well, sounds like a good excuse and I did nothing to stop it! D
As a young man who has a lot of growing that still needs to be done. This advice from someone who clearly understands what it takes to bring strength to oneself is so incredible. I’m continually humbled, and continually grateful for the strength of people like you.
i recently had to do this--let go of a friendship that brought me so much joy but also so much pain, to the point where the pain disturbed my peace on a monthly basis. It hasn't been that long since I walked away and, even though i'm sad about it, i still feel so much peace about my decision. one thing I respectfully disagree with in this video is always pushing away thoughts. David Hawkings said, "Thoughts are rationalization of the mind to explain the presence of feelings." Yes, 100%, don't stay in a victim mode, but thinking through those thoughts is your brain's way of processing your emotions. If we don't address them, they turn into rumination and can send us spiraling. This isn't about obsessing over and over-- Instead, address them. Pause what you're doing to ask them, what are you trying to tell me? Often, we just need to hear what they have to say. Process though them by stepping outside of you mind as an observer. Our minds are only trying to protect ourselves, so discover what it wants to say--it needs to be heard. Then, if necessary, give in to your sadness and anger--obviously only if it's not harming yourself or others--by crying, dancing, shaking your hands, anything to let out those emotions in our bodies. They are chemicals stored in the body that need to be released. I've had a lot of experience with this, and I promise you--if you do this, you WILL move on. let it out in a healthy way, and you will find peace. Is it easy? no. Does it take time? Yes. You might need to do it several times. It will not happen on your timeine. And that's okay because it's worth it. Future you will thank you.
Love what you said about cutting off toxic relationships esp if they cause negative stress. And I'll remember the 'cheap and cheerful' quote to remind myself to take good care. 🎉❤
Thank you Dee.. listening to you now makes me feel better…you seem such a lovely person..I would love to know someone like you in my life…also your friend who went with you to the doctors…truly is what I would call a real friend..and I would like to have one like that too…also I will try writing down my worries and then throw them away, and I will try to be more kind to myself more too…Thank you so much ❤
Dee you are an absolute queen. You offer the wisdom and compassion I always craved - and never received - from my own toxic, dysfunctional family. You and your life advice are such a blessing in my life!! ❤
Thank you so much for making these videos, they bring so much comfort to people ❤You remind me so much of my Grandma, who I grew up very close with but sadly lost a few years ago. I've been going through a difficult time recently and miss her wisdom and guidance everyday.
Thank you for this - your voice and thoughts are beautiful - you really strike a cord in a me. I’m very grateful to have come across your channel. God Bless you 🩷🙏🏼
I just saw when the video was done. But initially I was like Spring?!! It’s so short lived now it’s summer. Sorry about the disruption. I love how you celebrate Spring. I worry about declutter in winter so I can set up for Spring Summer and nearly ever happens that way. Maybe for a few years. Life has changed drastically and since that happened I decluttered so well… I have a chance now to maybe buy flowers and welcome Spring in. I’m going to watch the rest now. I’m in a middle of decluttering again. Takes me like FOREVER!!!! Now it does because I am sorting out my past too like relationships. Sorry so talkative- it’s sort of because of the drastic changes. I changed scenery in my room to go a long with the tough task. I guess you can’t go wrong with a couple of formula one drivers and there cars right as you’re focus point. I cut my social life down. Just processing through it.
Thank you so much Dee, I needed to hear this today, you are correct, selfcare is healthcare. I hope your day is a lovely one. Warm regards from Jacqui in Perth Australia. x
Hi Jacqui - am listening to my body today and have a day of doing a basic minimum of 'tasks'. I have at long last learnt that it is fine to do this and not to feel guilty. The world carries on and the housework is still around to be done the next day. Warm regards back to you - take care. Dee
Beautifully wise; beautifully said. xxoo
Thank you - I try my best.
My mother once told me.....its no ones "job" to love you, so learn to love yourself. Its no ones job to create happiness for you, so create it for yourself. If someone comes along and chooses to participate in 'your' self love and 'your' happiness creations, then enjoy that, but if they begin to implement their versions of love and happiness that demand that you set yours aside, respectfully decline and move on. But keep moving, to sit in a rut and expect someone else to pull you out because again.....thats no ones 'job' but yours! With great independence comes great personal responsibility! When you own that, you own yourself, and in turn....you will never allow anyone else to own you!
Wise words from your mother. Development of resilience to cope with things that life throws at you is a vital life skill. Thanks for sharing.D
Love this. 😌
Yes people want you to exchange your authentically being true to yourself for their plastic facades.
I wish my mum gave me positive advice. Hers is all “don’t trust anyone. All men are bastards. Prepare for EVERYTHING to go wrong. “ I guess I’m hanging onto her criticisms and judgements and negativity … 58 years later 🙄
Your mom gave excellent advice. It's great you've held onto it and shared it with us.
What a wonderful friend you have. Love your message. Looking lovely today too 🌷🌤️
Sadly my friend now lives on the other side of the world. Thanks for the compliment - I just sort of stick my hair behind my ears and it worked!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us Dee. Your example is well taken and very appreciated 😊. You are lovely as your daffodils.
Thank you so much for your comments - they mean a lot to me. Sitting by daffodils took me back to a field course from uni when I had a photograph taken sitting in a field of daffodils... 55 years ago. Must look it out now that the memory has been triggered!
What a lovely lady you are & so right in what you are saying . 💚
I love elderly women. So full of wisdom, such beauties they are.
So true ❤
Nah ...it's not all of them. Some of them are very wise, and sweet. It's definitely not all of them though. This one here is one of the good ones.
💯‼️ So true 🥰
As an aspiring elderly woman, I wholeheartedly agree.❤
@@KC-lg8qf Unnecessary comment. You couldn’t just like their be some love for old women when they’re already so overlooked? It’s not only “some of them” it’s MAJORITY and overall they are sweet and wise.
When you have had a lot of loss, you hang onto everything.
True …. My mum mum started hoarding after my sister died at 20
Her whole house is literally full of stuff to the roof now
It’s from trauma …. it’s a disease in the mind 😫
It’s the memories that hug you each morning when you rise.
It’s not how you feel about someone, it’s how they make you feel - listen carefully ❤
Yes, such a vital insight, succinctly expressed ❤
No one can make you feel anything without your permission. Rather, it’s how you feel when you around that person. Your feelings, good or bad, will be known immediately in their presence. That will tell you more about yourself, than the other person. 💕
"Let those dead leaves fall". A fabulous way to describe letting negative destructive thoughts go ❤
One of the most genuine and real videos I have seen on YT in forever. No over-dramatics, no script, no big clip shifts. Just like the talking to somone as if they were right next to you. The information is spot on. Love it!
Glad you liked it! I hope you stay around with us. D
As a 22 year old young woman, trying to find her way in this world, I definitely needed this. Am holding on to things and people that are truly not vital and beneficial for my mental health and am starting to see the impact it has had on me for these past 4 years. I need to let those dead leaves fall. Thank you for creating this video. May God bless your sweet soul ❤
Take care young lady - I am hoping that doesn't sound patronising! Letting those leaves fall is good - but also recognise the new green growth - be honest and recognise your strengths and be proud of them. This isn't being boastful, rather being truthful to yourself. D
What a lovely lady you are. I seem to have spent most of my life caring for others but as I get older, I realise that I need to start taking better care of me.
Absolutely! You really need to - an occasional treat to start with? Doesn't have to be big. I remember talking this through with a client many, many years. I was encouraging him to treat himself better. We dicussed what he could do and after struggling to think of anyting he settled on -I'll have a cream cake on Thursday. And he did! D
This Lady knows exactly what she is talking about.
This lady says thank you - D
I chanced upon your clip and it's so heartwarming. I could feel your gentleness and love💕. Thank you.
It is refreshing to read the many positive comments about this lady. Perhaps older women sharing their wisdom on YT may lead Americans to hold older people in higher regard.
Such a lovely, kind, gentle, wise woman.
My husband died. Ive never had health issues until the anxiety and grief came..it can do nasty things to your body! I found comfort in your words. Thank you so much
Thank you - and do take care. D
When my husband passed, doing mindfulness helped me a lot over time. The body can heal itself, hope this makes sense to you. 🙋
❤❤❤ It will get better. Hang in there.
@@nancye7520I’m so sorry 😢
Bereavement can affect us in so many ways. As Dee mentions, being kind to yourself is very important. Cruse bereavement is a very supportive organization, if you feel you need to reach out for support. I worked as a volunteer with them for several years. They are a wonderful organization. I'm glad to hear these gentle words from this lovely lady have been helpful. Take care.😊
"Being kind to yourself is vital"
Thank you. I hope anyone reading this has a beautiful day. 🍂🌿
Thanks & back to you 🙏👵
Thank you Katie, the sameto you from this Katie😂
And may you have a lovely day as well ❤
I’m 24 in a year and half marrying and after alot of pain and disappointment..I’m realizing that I am the love of my life and my source of happiness comes from within. It is a hard lesson but I’m learning. Thank you for your wisdom 💗
You got this! You are the person with whom you spend most time. Take care. D
“Let those dead leaves fall.”🍂🙌🏻
you are like the grandmother i always needed
You are such a lovely lady and I’ve learned so much. Thanks for
Thank you so much! D
Loving oneself is the most important thing to do because God loved us before we loved ourselves
Listening to you speak brings tears to my eyes. I feel so much warmth, wisdom and love while watching your videos.
Thank you for sharing your wisdom. I am so grateful I came across your channel.
Wish I could hug you through the screen ♥️
Thank you so very much - I appreciate your comment - am sure I felt a hug come through the ether! Do take care - and apologies for only just having seen your comment. D
@@Cheshirelass that makes me happy to hear 🥰
You are very welcome !
And no worries at all ✨
I just found your page and the amount of help you've provided me in a short timeframe is like a breathe of fresh air as if I'm being heard for the first time. Thank you
This is why I journal a lot when my mind ruminates over things or things bother me and I can't stop twisting and turning the issue in my head. Writing things down in a journal really helps to give the head space from the situation.
Really a pleasure to listen to you. Thank you for all your advice and wise words. Love the authenticity and calmness ❤
Thank you so much. D
absolutely wisdom!!! Its so hard to turn it off.
Thank you Dee…the advice about cutting off toxic relationships is so true
It is vital…it is not selfish
It’s an absolute necessity
The bible clearly states to surround yourself with like minded people who edify you lift you up….to stay away from angry selfish people
Iron sharpers Iron 😀
I am 42, living in USA. I am a Teacher. How lovely you share your loving words from your own experience. This is what we need. Thank you❤
You are so welcome! D
“Be kind to yourself.” I needed to hear that 😭😭😭 I love your channel Dee. I love you ❤
Thank you. D
It is a blessing that the algorithm brings me here in times where I needed the most. I am grateful to have people like you in this world to spread wisdom and remind people to be kind to themselves. Your videos have tremendously helped me through tough times, and I am eternally grateful to you. Cheers from Malaysia.
Take care. D
Gas lighting! must be a narcissist. Me too 34 years. Letting Go was something I so much needed to hear. I got fibromyalgia and knew time to go. self love is hard when you are not used to doing it but only around takers. 🙏 Thank you.
Take care - yes my gaslighter coud be described that way! Keep working on the self- love. Baby steps will get you there, D
I hope you feel better soon and i bet you will, because life without the toxic is such freedom.
I just found this channel this morning, although I feel like it found me. I lost my mother when I was 20 about 5 years ago & often wish I was able to go to her for advice & guidance & wisdom. Finding another beautiful woman willing to share your lessons & life experiences makes me feel closer to her & like I can still find that guidance in other ways. Thank you for sharing these beautiful videos and for sharing your vulnerability & lessons. I am so grateful for people like you 🫶❤️
You are so welcome. D
Fellow teacher. Yep, we love to hold onto things.
Thank you for this video. Taking your advice. My mom died out of no where 3/7/24. I miss her so much. I realize life is too short and cannot keep going on in this marriage. He’s a narcissist and will never change. 13 years he keeps cheating. I caught him on 5/30/24 having an online long distance relationship with my ex friend. I put off our divorce because of the debt and his legal troubles. He doesn’t value me or our relationship it’s time to thrive not survive anymore. Ready for divorce.
I am sorry for your loss. Take care - take control. D
I’m so sorry for your loss. It like your eyes have been opened. I’ve had several friends who divorced in their 50s and 60s. That meant it had been bad for a long time. How awful that is. One’s already fallen in love again, in her 60s! Good for her. Who knows what life has for you, if you cut out the negativity?
God bless you, I hope you find the courage to leave and realize that you are worth more than what you’re putting up with. But don’t put yourself down for trying to make it work and giving him chances. That’s beautiful that you cared and loved someone that deeply. Wear that love around your neck like it says in the bible It’s your love. It will always be your love.
I don't know why RUclips has recommended me your channel, but I think it's just in time. I really enjoy watching it. Hello from Moscow, Russia.
Hello from New Zealand.
I watch a lot of things on you tube about the two World Wars.
I also watch Russians singing or dancing. I get a feeling of extraordinary beauty and strength from these people who practise so hard.
I am very amazed by the strength of some Peoples like Russian people.
I have briefly known only 3 Russian people in my life in New Zealand, and they were all very, very special people to me. I have a beautiful impression of the people.
So I am very interested in what they write in comments.
Most of the time I cannot understand any of their comments.
I think what other people write in English can be rude, so that might be why very little is written in English.
But I am happy reading a comment from your country that I admire so much.
It is a rare opportunity to say hello. Or Kia ora, which we also say here.
@@barbsmart7373 Thank you so much for all the kindest words. I strongly believe they are sincere. In our days when hatred is so often in the air, it's absolutely crucial and invaluable to hear warm words from anyone, even from a stranger.
@@Юлия-у5з2ж
I truly look up to the Russian people, because the things I look at and the people I have met are all so wonderful.
I learned that we can choose our thoughts and to always keep thoughts that make us feel better. The thoughts that make us feel worse can be changed with happier thoughts. But I also will devote time to looking at myself honestly. That is not pleasant at first till I have found lots of positives in it all.
Youre such a blessing in my life right now 🙏❤ I have longed for a grandmother a mother to have these conversations with and you’re filling that void for me . Thank you ❤🙏
You have a lovely speaking style, your past students were lucky to have had you as their teacher. Being kind to ourselves is increasingly more important as time rages on faster and faster it seems.
I think I’ve watched this before, but I absolutely love it. Thank you for your wise words.xxo
Glad you enjoyed it! D
thank you for sharing your bravery and self love in the face of gaslighting and its devastating repercussions
Thank you for your wisdom. I recently found your channel, I’m 21 years old and I was just broken up with by someone who I really cared about. Your message is helping me move forward and realize to let people go when they want to leave your life no matter how much it hurts.
Look after yourself. D
You are very young but wise already. My best advice is when someone shows you who they really are, believe them the first time. Always trust your gut🙏🏻💕
Youth is also wasted on the young. A wrong turn takes you on another journey. But is life abd with it enriched with differences.
A lovely reminder that we ALL can eventually realise that we have the resources to 'heal' our troubled selves. Thank YOU for sharing what you realised.
You are so welcome! D
Aunt Dee and this community is so kind, i loved the comments section too. How pure hearted and the light(peaceful) feeling i am in. Learning through others too❤ All the things i longed my heart to hear and see this new feeling like it somehow heals my heart and mind that me myself never felt my entire life.💕
That sounds good Julia - I am so glad as this is what I hoped for for this channel. D
I wish i had someone in my life like this lady. Thank you
Thank you Dee. So honest and sometimes you think you will never get rid of these feelings and thoughts. Especially over a long period of your life hard to get the real you back. "They are very stubborn! You know you have to keep trying. That stress is a real thing!!!!!
Oh dear, this made me cry hard. I relate to you because I'm 24 and have been going through so much pressure, stress, and strong feelings towards my own career and family problems, plus the end of the most important friendships i had, i feel abandoned, unloved, invisible for the people i thought i was valuable to. I almost became obssesed trying to understand what was wrong with me, or dealing with the idea that life is just that way and letting go is part of it.
But now, after all this emotional discharge, i'm having health problems that made me understand inmediatly that I had to stop, i let all those situation drain my energy, i'm exhausted and scared for being diagnosed with some serious issues. But this was limit, i promise focusing on myself, my health, positive thoughts and loving the right people, thanks for your words
Take care - I have just published a 40 minute piece of relaxation - things like this will help. It is for people like you that it is there. D
Worded exactly what I’m going through. I’ve done a deep dive into trauma to try to heal, but now my body is giving in. I can’t do this anymore. My body demands that I don’t. I have to go back to my old self: loving, caring, positive. Cautious, discerning, observant.
@@benephysiologytm4144 Your old self sounds lovely - very positive characteristics. I am confused about what makes returning to this? Sorry if I have misread. D
@@Cheshirelass Thank you so much 🧡 you're a sunshine
@@benephysiologytm4144 Why do you feel that loving, caring and positive person wasn't right? I feel that's precious, and any situation should take that away from you.
Thank you 🙏. Self-forgiveness is a difficult one for me.
Sadly, it is for many - we easily take on board guilt and self-blame and find it hard to kick away, D
Thank you, I currently let go of someone who was hurting me. It is so hard to move on from. I am trying to care for myself and consider what I like and what makes me happy. I am trying to forgive myself for my own mistakes. This video is everything I needed to hear right now. ❤️
Do take care and be kind to yourself.. D
I love this lady!
This lady says - thank you - D
I am 70 and survived cancer last fall. I look at life differently now. Letting go is a process. Love this lady I just discovered ❤. Now if I could get my husband on board 😱
Something like a life threatening illness really puts a different slant on things - hope your powers of persuasion work! D
“I’ll call for pen and ink and write my mind” - Shakespeare, 1 Henry VI
I love this image: " Let old leaves fall".......................................
I love listening to this woman..I tune in to this beautiful wisdom as I drift off to sleep..thank you ma’am for sharing with us.❤
You are so welcome D
Read this before...and just had to listen again this morning.....thank you..wish i had a friend like u near by. 😊😊.
My pleasure D
Your energy is so so beautiful Dee, thank you kindly and most warmly for sharing your story with us, alongside your thoughts as well as advice. The words you say are like threads being sown together by the angels of heaven. And your energy is of upmost authenticity and love. Thanks for being here, your presence and aura have given plenty of hope, warmth and reassurance to my day. Many blessings and hugs as well 🙏🙏❤❤❤
I hope my lap top is waterproof as your very kind words brought tears to my eyes. You are so very kind. D
@@Cheshirelass Naww all is goods Dee. Hoping you have a wonderful day 🙏🙏❤❤
In France where I live… we still have leaves on the trees that haven’t fallen off over the autumn and winter.. new leaves have bloomed with the old ones.. maybe this is a representation of life right now. I hope you are feeling better within yourself.
Thank you for your thoughts.
Thank you for your encouraging words,
They bring me peace and hope for the many challenges in my life
Yes! Retired teacher with many hobbies!
So very relatable……. Oh those toxic relationships 😢. Cheerio to those!
Hello Shakespeare and classical music, more reggae and laughter too 😊. Thank you ❤🙏🏻
What a great mix - especially with the laughter. D
I had to walk away from my NPD family when I was 52. I should have done it decades before. It's not dispresctful. Its self preservation. If some one is treating you like a door mat you have to walk away. No matter who they are ❤
You do to retain your self-respect. D
I had to do the same at 58. And 2 yrs later walked into a stage 4 cancer diagnosis. I am so grateful for the lessons despite the challenges along the learning path
Funny thing is i have never really thought of myself, i now just think of my son and others. I am not unkind to myself its just that i made it hard to be kind to myself. Thank you, i guess i needed to hear this and i wish you all the best this life has to offer.
And to you too. D
Self care/kindness = self preservation
Thankyou for such a helpful video. I said goodbye to a long term friendship at the start of the year and the situation still mills round my head which I find rather draining. It took me six years to finally realise that being around her was toxic and making me unhappy. She is in a highly abusive marriage .
Get a good tool kit going with things to interest and divert you. D
Have just discovered you, and you are a gem! Your voice, your advice, all of it relevant to women of our age. I thank you. ❤
Welcome!! D
Thank you for this video 💖I had a narcissist mother , that I cut contact with over 5 years ago or more now , I believe it’s part of the way brought up .. Conditioning makes me overthink things & negative self talk . I appreciate listening to this as coping skills on just let things go , as it is beneficial to self care & self help . It takes a lot practice ❤️🔥
It does - but time that is spent on practise is so worthwhile as time spent on making you the person you want to be. D
Thank you, I’ve just found your channel. It’s refreshing to find content from a woman with courage to speak out who wants to share and pass on the wisdom. ❤
Thank you. D
I appreciate this lady so much. I would have loved to get this kind of advice from my mother or nan so it helps a lot to hear them from a lovely wise person on a youtube channel that I came across just randomly. Thanks for what you're doing! x
@stef3022 You are so welcome - I hope you stay around. D
My new saying let those dead leaves fall!!! How wise!!! ❤
From the deepest parts of my heart - Thank you so much, Dee. I cannot tell you how much finding your channel has helped me during this time. Lots and lots of love to you
And back to you too. Take care D.
You literally feel like a wise grandmother to me. ❤️ (im 29)
So blessed that you popped up on my timeline. God bless you.
Thank you so much for your delightful videos. I was diagnosed with MS at the age of 17--I am now 57. Your words of wisdom have helped me to get through the angst that being kind to myself IS acceptable and actually responsible. I worked until my body ran out (33). It's not been easy to accept that even though my family is gone and I am now alone I CAN do it ( I only need GODs strength to flow through me now!!
And remind myself to "let the dead leaves fall" ❤❤(Thank you maame', your channel is lovely)
Thank you - and take great care of yourself. D
Thanks for such heartfelt words.. the universe sent me this for a reason 🖤
Such a beautiful lady and such a gentle voice. Thank you for your wise words. I appreciated that message today as am tussling with a decision regarding letting go of a toxic relationship. I’m almost 75 and sometimes it holds me back from letting go. There are no guarantees in life but I know that I’m not happy as things are. X
Get that tussle out of your head -make a pros and cons list about letting go. It can help to clarify things - especially if 1 column is way longer than the other. Take care D
I so agree with you..and as we get older it's harder.. but little things make such difference to your wellbeing ❤ thanks lovey video,
Dee, what a lovely lady you are. 🩷
I taught her how to love herself, once she got the idea she stopped loving me
oh Dee I did that too. We have a lot in common. Be kind to yourself. Spot on. I visualise my inner child and nurture her. It's very calming. Lots of love. xx
Those inner children deserve TLC don't they! In my garden the other day, I was watering using my hose pipe - she encouraged me to imagine a statue was an old bully and I squirted her. Well, sounds like a good excuse and I did nothing to stop it! D
Beautiful words and a beautiful kitty cat!❤
As a young man who has a lot of growing that still needs to be done. This advice from someone who clearly understands what it takes to bring strength to oneself is so incredible. I’m continually humbled, and continually grateful for the strength of people like you.
@@Cheshirelass my heart goes out to you.
@@josiahbarnhart7932 That reply disappeared from another post - apologies that it got to yours instead D
You are such a lovely lady. God bless you. Thank you ❤🙏
Every few months when I go food shopping I buy fresh flowers for myself and it always brightens up the house and my energy💗🦋☺️
Love that! D
i recently had to do this--let go of a friendship that brought me so much joy but also so much pain, to the point where the pain disturbed my peace on a monthly basis. It hasn't been that long since I walked away and, even though i'm sad about it, i still feel so much peace about my decision.
one thing I respectfully disagree with in this video is always pushing away thoughts.
David Hawkings said, "Thoughts are rationalization of the mind to explain the presence of feelings."
Yes, 100%, don't stay in a victim mode, but thinking through those thoughts is your brain's way of processing your emotions. If we don't address them, they turn into rumination and can send us spiraling.
This isn't about obsessing over and over--
Instead, address them. Pause what you're doing to ask them, what are you trying to tell me?
Often, we just need to hear what they have to say. Process though them by stepping outside of you mind as an observer. Our minds are only trying to protect ourselves, so discover what it wants to say--it needs to be heard.
Then, if necessary, give in to your sadness and anger--obviously only if it's not harming yourself or others--by crying, dancing, shaking your hands, anything to let out those emotions in our bodies.
They are chemicals stored in the body that need to be released.
I've had a lot of experience with this, and I promise you--if you do this, you WILL move on. let it out in a healthy way, and you will find peace.
Is it easy? no. Does it take time? Yes. You might need to do it several times. It will not happen on your timeine.
And that's okay because it's worth it. Future you will thank you.
Thank you so much for sharing that. Very true. D
What a wonderful lady, so heartening and welcome, and so true. Thank you xx
Love what you said about cutting off toxic relationships esp if they cause negative stress. And I'll remember the 'cheap and cheerful' quote to remind myself to take good care. 🎉❤
Thank you Dee.. listening to you now makes me feel better…you seem such a lovely person..I would love to know someone like you in my life…also your friend who went with you to the doctors…truly is what I would call a real friend..and I would like to have one like that too…also I will try writing down my worries and then throw them away, and I will try to be more kind to myself more too…Thank you so much ❤
Good for you. D
Wise and sweet lady. I am sure this video touched many. ❤❤
This is my life to Dee
You are still lucky to have a friend to take you to the doctor and others who really care for you
Absolutely. My friends mean the word to me. D
Thank you so much ❤. Your videos are beautiful.
You are so wise- and just what I needed to hear.🙏
You are very kind. D
I just discovered this channel, and it is one of the best things I have ever found! The content is such an eye-opener… 🥺💝
Welcome aboard! D
@@Cheshirelass 🫶🏻
You are a beautiful human being to me, outside and inside. Even without hearing your wise message, it already felt so from the very first second.
Wow, thank you D
Love the word collywobbles!
Dee you are an absolute queen. You offer the wisdom and compassion I always craved - and never received - from my own toxic, dysfunctional family. You and your life advice are such a blessing in my life!! ❤
Take care. D
Thank you so much for making these videos, they bring so much comfort to people ❤You remind me so much of my Grandma, who I grew up very close with but sadly lost a few years ago. I've been going through a difficult time recently and miss her wisdom and guidance everyday.
Thank you! Your words and voice are awesome! Whatever you said resonated with me. ❤️🙏🏽
Thank you for this - your voice and thoughts are beautiful - you really strike a cord in a me. I’m very grateful to have come across your channel. God Bless you 🩷🙏🏼
I just saw when the video was done. But initially I was like Spring?!!
It’s so short lived now it’s summer.
Sorry about the disruption. I love how you celebrate Spring.
I worry about declutter in winter so I can set up for Spring Summer and nearly ever happens that way. Maybe for a few years.
Life has changed drastically and since that happened I decluttered so well… I have a chance now to maybe buy flowers and welcome Spring in.
I’m going to watch the rest now. I’m in a middle of decluttering again. Takes me like FOREVER!!!! Now it does because I am sorting out my past too like relationships.
Sorry so talkative- it’s sort of because of the drastic changes.
I changed scenery in my room to go a long with the tough task.
I guess you can’t go wrong with a couple of formula one drivers and there cars right as you’re focus point.
I cut my social life down. Just processing through it.
you have a beautiful channel. thank you for this heartfelt content.
You are so welcome. D
Thank you for sharing. Much wisdom from your experiences. Greatly appreciated by me❤❤
What a lovely lady.Listen to her just lifted my spirit.❤
Thank you. D