i have been coming back to this video over the course of years, all through my teens and now at 26, it is one of the tentpoles of hope that someday some dude will love me.
Hey it's me, seven years later! I lost 110 pounds, got plastic surgery to fix the remaining disfiguration, and and guess what? Men like me just fine now. I no longer look as unwell on the outside as I was on the inside. Sobriety, diet, exercise, and refusing to give up have given me the life I wanted when I wrote this comment so many years ago. Now that I'm unfettered by feeling disgusting and unworthy in the body I'm in, I no longer desperately seek out male validation. I have an enormous community of friends, fellows and workmates who care about me and to whom I matter. I am so glad I hung in there, and I am glad this video was there to give me hope before I could make for myself the life I have now.
@@pastoral_landscapeI’m the girl who asked Dan the question I’m 2009. I was 23, and well I’ll be 39 in July. I’ve been wanting to write him. It’s funny in 2010, I sort of had a boyfriend but it fell apart. My weight stayed between 210 and 250 lbs. I ended up at my highest weight of 277 in 2017. And it was pretty bad. My weight roller coastered up and down. In 2019, after some health issues, I threw down and started a journey. I got weight loss surgery. I went from 267 to 166. I weigh less now than I did in high school or middle school. Last time I weighed 150 was in the 5th grade in 1995. So that’s my ultimate goal. I did this for me, because I have lupus. You have to take care of yourself. Something else I didn’t know I am autistic. There was suspicion something was up because I had Learning disabilities in school, but at the age of 28 I got answers. Should I be on love on the spectrum? I’ve wondered. I am chronically single. It’s lonely. I do get bitter at times, but I figure that’s life. And hey! Congrats on being healthy and sober. Keep doing you 💜
Fun fact: I've always loved "bigger" girls, and I wasn't even aware of it myself until I was about 20. Even though every girl I was attracted to was on the bigger side, I just never made the connection. When I was a little older, I was in a convenience store and saw a porno magazine of plus-size models and I was like, "oh my god, that's like, a thing? There are people who actually have this attraction? Everything makes so much sense now..... THAT is me. THAT is what I identify with."
He's right. As men enter their 30s and older, they begin to appreciate women of all shapes and sizes. I weigh almost 200 pounds but I have a small waist and a big ass and it has a fan club. LOL
And that is perfectly okay. You can be attracted to whoever you want to be attracted to as long as you don't put others down. And Keira Knightley is beautiful the way she is.
The willingness to admit that you are attracted to someone, even if your friends think that person is ugly, is also something that comes with age to most people. Some are born having it, but for most people it can be hard to challenge the statu quo.
i totally agree with this video! love it! at the same time. we need to learn to look within and notice how food is a massive response to emotions. if people ate only for sustenance they'd eat at least 30% less and probably eat totally different food than most people do. some people are just built bigger and are going to be larger but the majority of people who are fat, it is because they are carrying tons of emotional baggage, don't cleanse, don't fast, and eat total crap and too much or it.
A lot of it is confidence. If you feel beautiful, and dress and clean up nice, that makes a hell of a lot of difference. I was never a supermodel body-wise, but I'm tall,take care of my hair, clothes, have a pretty face...and I always got to be with the men I wanted to be with, once bloody high school was over. Confidence is sexy. Knowing what you want is sexy. There are ugly people who have really gorgeous partners because of their charisma!
its easy to forget, sometimes, that no matter what you look like, or how far you look from what is considered 'attractive', there is always someone out there who is attracted to EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE. like not too long ago i was talking to one of my guy friends and he seemed shocked when i told him that i LOVE it when guys have just a little bit of pudge, as opposed to being 100 percent jacked. DRESS WELL, STAY CLEAN AND POSITIVE, AND YOU WILL FIND THEM!
Why not seek out men who are older, more mature, more self-confident etc while you're younger? Don't waste the majority of your twenties waiting for your peers to grow up, find someone who's already grown up, even if they're a good few years older than you.
I highly doubt most men in their late 20s or early thirties would have any problem dating a woman in her early 20s. Obviously individuals vary and some women in their early 20s are immature and older men would steer clear, but some women are still very immature in their 30s, 40s, and 50s. Some people just don't grow out of certain traits. Anyway, older men dating younger women is hardly something most people would be averse to on principle.
Curious. This has never been a problem for me. I remember being in high school, hearing my friends say that some girl I liked was fat, and telling that they're full of shit.
I have something to add. I'm not 100 lbs, and I prefer to date other young women. The first girl I was ever with was definitely one of the little girls, and I wasn't comfortable standing with her. I think that's important to remember for guys who aren't 100lbs, that comparison is key. I'm with a new girl now who is built like me, and I think she's the most beautiful person on the planet. People actually enjoy dating people who look like them.
I've had more than one friend who has confided in me that they like BBW, or bigger women, and were even repulsed by what they called 'pretentious, teeney boppers', and self absorbed conventional looking women. When I share my taste in women - cutesy, pretty and girlie in the extreme - I often find they have a more difficult time accepting me I do them.
@rudedog46: No, he says that plenty of guys won't pursue the women they are actually attracted to because they are afraid that other people will disapprove, and that it takes them some time to get over it.
Young girls, I don't know if this helps, but I have this to say. In my twenties I you skinny, pretty and had a miserable love life. In my late 30's I got heavy and had more attention than I could deal with- including from men in their early 20's. It's out there. Love who you are now. Enjoy who you are now. Your confidence will be the sexiest thing about you.
That's interesting because I've had the opposite experience. I'm over 200 pounds though, don't know if that makes a difference. I get plenty of attention from guys that just want sex, but not a relationship
Maybe women once they hit their 30's? like what this presenter says about men in this video. But "girls" in their 20's act just the same way. If that's the case I wouldn't hear so many complaints about how their boyfriends treats them poorly and yet they still go out with them. Unless I am hanging out with the wrong people there are plenty of girls who want an attractive tall guy so they can show them off. Again I am not being a misogynist but I am saying it does work both ways.
i must say as a big girl, big girls are very appreciative, not saying little girls aren't their beautiful too ladies, but you love who you love, love know no size, gender, race or religion, it just knows love. i love skinny guys as much as big guys, but i'm scared to date thin guys who do want to date me because im a size 20 at 5'7, i'm afraid of what people may say to me and to him.
I’m one of those guys, I was really embarrassed to date big girls cuz all the guys around me were judgmental. Now I’m 26 and I have the most beautiful and wonderful gf. She is 280lbs give or take and her body is exactly my type
How can you expect to have a healthy relationship with another person when you can't hold one with yourself. When you're content in your own person, others will follow, which in the end may lead to something that we all strive for in some shape or another.
I'm not sure if I agree with this I don't think shallowness ever really fades. It's just that a lot of guys get to a point in their lives when they have to face the harsh truth: either find a fuckin partner, or be alone for the rest of your life
Yaknow what I think? People can talk until they're blue in the face about how they like personality, how they like all kind of people, don't judge others based on looks blah blah blah... But when it comes right down to it people still lust after good looking people, are envious of their partners, and worry about what friends think of their personal conquests. UNLESS they have the guts to go after exactly the kind of person they desire (whatever that might be), those people are just fine.
IMO, he's dead on about this. I know anecdotal =/= evidence, but I can certainly relate 100%. I spent 8 years from 19-27 in an on again off again relationship full of nothing but bullshit with 'the ideal attractive girl' (slim, curves in the right places, etc). Over the last year I've fallen in love with someone whom is a bit bigger/chubby (in her words even. shes not obese, but not slim either), and frankly I find her to be absolutely beautiful.
@hithisishades And btw, I'm not a "stick" girl or boy. I've actually got a good amount of meat on my bones, but it's not from sitting on the couch all day and eating twinkies, it's from working out!
@sheLovesG um... Savage isn't exactly saying that. weight is an issue (see my comment) but don't toss out all of his videos. so many of them are totally on point. i think both perspectives are important.
I think gay guys know more about men than anyone else. They are guys AND they date them. I've recieved some of the best advice ever from gay guys. My girlfriend and myself love going out with them too. I never have to worry about another guy eyeing up my girl the wrong way.
@sheLovesG also, on many of the videos i've seen of his, he's talking about 'gay' issues and doing them justice. his perspectives seem cool headed and intelligent. his thoughts on gay parenting are really good and seem rather unique as far as videos on youtube. he may have nothing to say that interests you, and that's fine. it happens to me all the time... especially with music. some video where everyone's fawning over some band and i'm just like "wuh?!? this is pretentious and boring". : )
@EthMicFink No no, the analogy is perfectly logical and legitimate. Just like cancer, being overweight can be a serious health risk and potentially life threatening.
@sillykatz totally, and i didn't want to make it sound like genes didn't play some role! some people are built bigger. for sure. we have to look at things from many perspectives. : )
So no, it's not always about wanting to impress your friends or make them jealous. Sometimes it's just about having to realizing what you're actually attracted to yourself. It can be like realizing you're gay in that regard. In high school, I turned down a LOT of girls that I would KILL to be with now. Pretty sad.
@sillykatz And btw, the ONLY person here I've put down is Dan Savage, and I stand by all my previous statements where he's concerned. You're attributing sentiments to me that I have not expressed which is completely dishonest.
How did you get that from this video ? what i got from it is that eventually someone will like you for who you are and like you just the way you look. guys just take longer to admit to what they find attractive if it is not what everyone else likes. and im sure there are exceptions to guys who don't take that long (late 20's).
umm ok but what about the guy's side? A lot of girls want to show off their tall. dark and handsome boyfriends to their girlfriends as well. It works both ways.
@saintangelsin thats great i'm doing the same thing, its for me, not a stupid man. and i love myself and my body the way it is, i probably will never be a size 4 or 6 or a skinny girl, but thats ok, i got me and my health!
@EthMicFink I have just as much right to post my dissenting opinion on a public forum such as YT as Savage has to post his tripe. In fact, I'm the one who is honest enough to point out that being over weight is a health risk while Savage is telling you to accept things as they are regardless of the health risk.
@caseyforever i agree on some level, there are ive lost 100 pounds just by lookin at me from the inside and figuring out why i turn to food. i was always a fat kid and got tormented not just by kids but my moms thins side genes which i did not get, thanks dad.
I'm really attracted to women that don't look like skeletons, there is just nothing to see in my opinion. Still, society worships underweight women. I really don't see the point. It's a shame beautiful women go through life thinking that they're ugly. Same goes for men. I am not attracted to big, muscular guys that go to the gym multipble times a week. Smaller guys are way more attractive to me.
@sheLovesG hmmm. well, first, it seems Dan is basically an advice columnist, and aside from speaking tours it would be hard to pin-point what he's 'peddling'. regarding sex, i think sex and sexuality is central to being human and having people around who state what maybe should be obvious but apparently isn't to many is a good thing. maybe you grew up with a lot of information around and maybe parents that speak frankly about this subject that has a lot of people confused but most didn't
you like what you like, you can pretend to be attracted to someone, and theres a lot of that going on today. I find myself having to say you're fine or pretty to women I don't think are pretty or in shape. but women can tell me if I'm ugly or not. men are vilified if they don't think every woman is attractive. you have to lie all the time. can a man just say I don't find you attractive, without being called a woman hater!
why can't she date an older guy? Someone who got over his hangups. I mean maybe not as a potential life partner but as a summer thing or a nice few years. I did this and it was great. i don't know, it would work in my head.
Getting into his mind by expertly knocking down his psychological walls and making him tingle with feelings of pleasure, means you're doing it right. There are many so called "canned phrases" to make it happen, for example go’ogling something like Celestine Dessike's Words of Desire was the perfect formula for me
@caseyforever Most of the time when DS is "on point" as you put it, he's simply pointing out the obvious. My problem isn't so much DS himself(even though I see as not much more than a cheesy snake oil peddler), it's that his success, and others like him, is symptomatic of a society that has placed sex way too high on it's list of priorities. Western society's neurotic preoccupation with sex and sexual/gender identities are diseases of affluence.
Maybe he's right about this, but this "status dating" thing goes just as much for girls this age. To be honest, to me it seems like they're even worse..
@sillykatz So if you want to listen to DS's "good advice"(New agey, PC psychobabble) because it makes you feel good about yourself, knock yourself out but don't expect anyone to respect you for it. Btw, you've already lost 100 lbs. and are still a size 20 at 5'7"(still quite, umm, round)? You must have been HUGE! LOL!
Good stuff, watching them melt away within 48 hours felt so good, and yes, I used what I mentioned the other day. It actually took a bit more to make them totally disappear, I just go’ogled Melissa Thanderski and days after I still can't believe the comfort.
@hithisishades " Im overweight, so is my girlfriend, we are happy..." And it's that's a good thing! It demonstrates that you're both realists and you've admitted to yourselves that neither of you has the self- discipline to lose the weight and get in shape. So you've both settled. It's good to be self-aware enough to know one's limits. And yes, Savage is a fraud who makes his living telling sad people like you what he thinks they want to hear. And he's obviously good at it!
Lastly, hetero men are shallow? WOW. Do you think this queen's partner is at all overweight? I'd bet his 'partner' has, at very least, a six pack which I'm sure he's not so subtly encouraged to maintain.
Don't listen to this charlatan. This is how he makes his living, preying on they insecurities of people who are under the spell that "the grass is always greener..." Sorry, but sex(although, a lot of fun) is not a primary need. The only time sex is required is for procreation. And if you're a fat girl, he's telling you what you want to hear. Life is short, harsh and unfair. If you're fat, eat less calories than you burn in a day and exercise regularly. There is no panacea.
@keyki421 My boyfriend would dispute this. More cushion for the pushin', man. :D He loves me and all my yummy chubness. Check out thethickness on tumblr and lookit all the love-love-lovin' happening.
Getting into his mind by expertly knocking down his psychological walls and making him tingle with feelings of pleasure, means you're doing it right. There are many so called "canned phrases" to make it happen, for example go’ogling something like Celestine Dessike's Words of Desire was the perfect formula for me
i have been coming back to this video over the course of years, all through my teens and now at 26, it is one of the tentpoles of hope that someday some dude will love me.
Sup.
You have to love yourself first
I guess you are 30 now. Happy birthday
Hey it's me, seven years later! I lost 110 pounds, got plastic surgery to fix the remaining disfiguration, and and guess what? Men like me just fine now. I no longer look as unwell on the outside as I was on the inside. Sobriety, diet, exercise, and refusing to give up have given me the life I wanted when I wrote this comment so many years ago. Now that I'm unfettered by feeling disgusting and unworthy in the body I'm in, I no longer desperately seek out male validation. I have an enormous community of friends, fellows and workmates who care about me and to whom I matter. I am so glad I hung in there, and I am glad this video was there to give me hope before I could make for myself the life I have now.
@@pastoral_landscapeI’m the girl who asked Dan the question I’m 2009. I was 23, and well I’ll be 39 in July. I’ve been wanting to write him. It’s funny in 2010, I sort of had a boyfriend but it fell apart. My weight stayed between 210 and 250 lbs. I ended up at my highest weight of 277 in 2017. And it was pretty bad. My weight roller coastered up and down. In 2019, after some health issues, I threw down and started a journey. I got weight loss surgery. I went from 267 to 166. I weigh less now than I did in high school or middle school. Last time I weighed 150 was in the 5th grade in 1995. So that’s my ultimate goal. I did this for me, because I have lupus. You have to take care of yourself. Something else I didn’t know I am autistic. There was suspicion something was up because I had Learning disabilities in school, but at the age of 28 I got answers. Should I be on love on the spectrum? I’ve wondered. I am chronically single. It’s lonely. I do get bitter at times, but I figure that’s life. And hey! Congrats on being healthy and sober. Keep doing you 💜
Fun fact: I've always loved "bigger" girls, and I wasn't even aware of it myself until I was about 20. Even though every girl I was attracted to was on the bigger side, I just never made the connection. When I was a little older, I was in a convenience store and saw a porno magazine of plus-size models and I was like, "oh my god, that's like, a thing? There are people who actually have this attraction? Everything makes so much sense now..... THAT is me. THAT is what I identify with."
He's absolutely right on in his answer.
He's right. As men enter their 30s and older, they begin to appreciate women of all shapes and sizes. I weigh almost 200 pounds but I have a small waist and a big ass and it has a fan club. LOL
And that is perfectly okay. You can be attracted to whoever you want to be attracted to as long as you don't put others down. And Keira Knightley is beautiful the way she is.
that is so true wow.
The willingness to admit that you are attracted to someone, even if your friends think that person is ugly, is also something that comes with age to most people. Some are born having it, but for most people it can be hard to challenge the statu quo.
i totally agree with this video! love it! at the same time. we need to learn to look within and notice how food is a massive response to emotions. if people ate only for sustenance they'd eat at least 30% less and probably eat totally different food than most people do. some people are just built bigger and are going to be larger but the majority of people who are fat, it is because they are carrying tons of emotional baggage, don't cleanse, don't fast, and eat total crap and too much or it.
As a bigger girl, this explains a lot.
Dan is awesome.
A lot of it is confidence. If you feel beautiful, and dress and clean up nice, that makes a hell of a lot of difference.
I was never a supermodel body-wise, but I'm tall,take care of my hair, clothes, have a pretty face...and I always got to be with the men I wanted to be with, once bloody high school was over.
Confidence is sexy. Knowing what you want is sexy. There are ugly people who have really gorgeous partners because of their charisma!
bless you dan savage
its easy to forget, sometimes, that no matter what you look like, or how far you look from what is considered 'attractive', there is always someone out there who is attracted to EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE. like not too long ago i was talking to one of my guy friends and he seemed shocked when i told him that i LOVE it when guys have just a little bit of pudge, as opposed to being 100 percent jacked. DRESS WELL, STAY CLEAN AND POSITIVE, AND YOU WILL FIND THEM!
Why not seek out men who are older, more mature, more self-confident etc while you're younger? Don't waste the majority of your twenties waiting for your peers to grow up, find someone who's already grown up, even if they're a good few years older than you.
I highly doubt most men in their late 20s or early thirties would have any problem dating a woman in her early 20s. Obviously individuals vary and some women in their early 20s are immature and older men would steer clear, but some women are still very immature in their 30s, 40s, and 50s. Some people just don't grow out of certain traits. Anyway, older men dating younger women is hardly something most people would be averse to on principle.
great advice!
Curious. This has never been a problem for me. I remember being in high school, hearing my friends say that some girl I liked was fat, and telling that they're full of shit.
Thank you Dan!
I have something to add. I'm not 100 lbs, and I prefer to date other young women. The first girl I was ever with was definitely one of the little girls, and I wasn't comfortable standing with her. I think that's important to remember for guys who aren't 100lbs, that comparison is key. I'm with a new girl now who is built like me, and I think she's the most beautiful person on the planet. People actually enjoy dating people who look like them.
I've had more than one friend who has confided in me that they like BBW, or bigger women, and were even repulsed by what they called 'pretentious, teeney boppers', and self absorbed conventional looking women. When I share my taste in women - cutesy, pretty and girlie in the extreme - I often find they have a more difficult time accepting me I do them.
@rudedog46: No, he says that plenty of guys won't pursue the women they are actually attracted to because they are afraid that other people will disapprove, and that it takes them some time to get over it.
Young girls, I don't know if this helps, but I have this to say. In my twenties I you skinny, pretty and had a miserable love life. In my late 30's I got heavy and had more attention than I could deal with- including from men in their early 20's. It's out there. Love who you are now. Enjoy who you are now. Your confidence will be the sexiest thing about you.
That's interesting because I've had the opposite experience. I'm over 200 pounds though, don't know if that makes a difference. I get plenty of attention from guys that just want sex, but not a relationship
Maybe women once they hit their 30's? like what this presenter says about men in this video. But "girls" in their 20's act just the same way. If that's the case I wouldn't hear so many complaints about how their boyfriends treats them poorly and yet they still go out with them. Unless I am hanging out with the wrong people there are plenty of girls who want an attractive tall guy so they can show them off. Again I am not being a misogynist but I am saying it does work both ways.
i must say as a big girl, big girls are very appreciative, not saying little girls aren't their beautiful too ladies, but you love who you love, love know no size, gender, race or religion, it just knows love. i love skinny guys as much as big guys, but i'm scared to date thin guys who do want to date me because im a size 20 at 5'7, i'm afraid of what people may say to me and to him.
I’m one of those guys, I was really embarrassed to date big girls cuz all the guys around me were judgmental. Now I’m 26 and I have the most beautiful and wonderful gf. She is 280lbs give or take and her body is exactly my type
Nothings shallow about not wanting to be with a super overweight chick. Most women don’t like super overweight guys either.
i fucking love Dan Savage
How can you expect to have a healthy relationship with another person when you can't hold one with yourself. When you're content in your own person, others will follow, which in the end may lead to something that we all strive for in some shape or another.
I'm not sure if I agree with this
I don't think shallowness ever really fades. It's just that a lot of guys get to a point in their lives when they have to face the harsh truth: either find a fuckin partner, or be alone for the rest of your life
now I know THANK YOU
Yaknow what I think? People can talk until they're blue in the face about how they like personality, how they like all kind of people, don't judge others based on looks blah blah blah...
But when it comes right down to it people still lust after good looking people, are envious of their partners, and worry about what friends think of their personal conquests. UNLESS they have the guts to go after exactly the kind of person they desire (whatever that might be), those people are just fine.
IMO, he's dead on about this.
I know anecdotal =/= evidence, but I can certainly relate 100%. I spent 8 years from 19-27 in an on again off again relationship full of nothing but bullshit with 'the ideal attractive girl' (slim, curves in the right places, etc).
Over the last year I've fallen in love with someone whom is a bit bigger/chubby (in her words even. shes not obese, but not slim either), and frankly I find her to be absolutely beautiful.
@hithisishades And btw, I'm not a "stick" girl or boy. I've actually got a good amount of meat on my bones, but it's not from sitting on the couch all day and eating twinkies, it's from working out!
@sheLovesG
um... Savage isn't exactly saying that. weight is an issue (see my comment) but don't toss out all of his videos. so many of them are totally on point. i think both perspectives are important.
gaaaawd, i know me 2!! it sucks, feel kinda broken, lol....but im so cool w/being alone now (more times then not i am, lol)
@garycalgary No, he's telling the truth. Shallowness fades with maturity.
I think gay guys know more about men than anyone else. They are guys AND they date them. I've recieved some of the best advice ever from gay guys. My girlfriend and myself love going out with them too. I never have to worry about another guy eyeing up my girl the wrong way.
YES I LOVE THIS FUCKING GUY.
@sheLovesG also, on many of the videos i've seen of his, he's talking about 'gay' issues and doing them justice. his perspectives seem cool headed and intelligent. his thoughts on gay parenting are really good and seem rather unique as far as videos on youtube. he may have nothing to say that interests you, and that's fine. it happens to me all the time... especially with music. some video where everyone's fawning over some band and i'm just like "wuh?!? this is pretentious and boring". : )
@EthMicFink No no, the analogy is perfectly logical and legitimate. Just like cancer, being overweight can be a serious health risk and potentially life threatening.
he's so amazing! i love his attitude on things! (except monogamy but what are you gonna do?:P)
@sillykatz
totally, and i didn't want to make it sound like genes didn't play some role! some people are built bigger. for sure. we have to look at things from many perspectives. : )
So no, it's not always about wanting to impress your friends or make them jealous. Sometimes it's just about having to realizing what you're actually attracted to yourself. It can be like realizing you're gay in that regard.
In high school, I turned down a LOT of girls that I would KILL to be with now. Pretty sad.
@saintangelsin it is soooooooooo true. im glad he posted this foe everyone
@sillykatz And btw, the ONLY person here I've put down is Dan Savage, and I stand by all my previous statements where he's concerned. You're attributing sentiments to me that I have not expressed which is completely dishonest.
Pog
How did you get that from this video ?
what i got from it is that eventually someone will like you for who you are and like you just the way you look. guys just take longer to admit to what they find attractive if it is not what everyone else likes. and im sure there are exceptions to guys who don't take that long (late 20's).
I agree. Date an older guy. They also tend to be more experienced.
umm ok but what about the guy's side? A lot of girls want to show off their tall. dark and handsome boyfriends to their girlfriends as well. It works both ways.
what makes him an expert?
@saintangelsin thats great i'm doing the same thing, its for me, not a stupid man. and i love myself and my body the way it is, i probably will never be a size 4 or 6 or a skinny girl, but thats ok, i got me and my health!
@EthMicFink I have just as much right to post my dissenting opinion on a public forum such as YT as Savage has to post his tripe. In fact, I'm the one who is honest enough to point out that being over weight is a health risk while Savage is telling you to accept things as they are regardless of the health risk.
Dan Savage, you are extremely level headed.
@caseyforever i agree on some level, there are ive lost 100 pounds just by lookin at me from the inside and figuring out why i turn to food. i was always a fat kid and got tormented not just by kids but my moms thins side genes which i did not get, thanks dad.
I'm really attracted to women that don't look like skeletons, there is just nothing to see in my opinion. Still, society worships underweight women. I really don't see the point. It's a shame beautiful women go through life thinking that they're ugly. Same goes for men. I am not attracted to big, muscular guys that go to the gym multipble times a week. Smaller guys are way more attractive to me.
DutchMaureen Curvy girls will want you
@sheLovesG hmmm. well, first, it seems Dan is basically an advice columnist, and aside from speaking tours it would be hard to pin-point what he's 'peddling'. regarding sex, i think sex and sexuality is central to being human and having people around who state what maybe should be obvious but apparently isn't to many is a good thing. maybe you grew up with a lot of information around and maybe parents that speak frankly about this subject that has a lot of people confused but most didn't
*than I do, them.
you like what you like, you can pretend to be attracted to someone, and theres a lot of that going on today. I find myself having to say you're fine or pretty to women I don't think are pretty or in shape. but women can tell me if I'm ugly or not. men are vilified if they don't think every woman is attractive. you have to lie all the time. can a man just say I don't find you attractive, without being called a woman hater!
My late 20's is when I STRATED to loose weight.
Huh, I must be lucky then. I'm only 22, and I don't give a fuck what my friends think, I love so many kinds of women why discriminate?
Bbw lovers represent.
@garycalgary not the grown up ones I CONFESS
@420fireitup it is lol!
Damn I wish I had heard this when I was that younger more curvacious girl!!!1
why can't she date an older guy? Someone who got over his hangups. I mean maybe not as a potential life partner but as a summer thing or a nice few years. I did this and it was great. i don't know, it would work in my head.
What exactly is your point?
I used to be super bitter, it can go away. ;9
haha, too late for me, I'm already "crazy and embittered and psychotic" :)
Getting into his mind by expertly knocking down his psychological walls and making him tingle with feelings of pleasure, means you're doing it right. There are many so called "canned phrases" to make it happen, for example go’ogling something like Celestine Dessike's Words of Desire was the perfect formula for me
@keyki421: Oh, so we are all just a figments of your imagination?
@gnulen I tried that already. The potato just fell apart. Plus there's just something about human flesh, it's so... infatuating.
@caseyforever Most of the time when DS is "on point" as you put it, he's simply pointing out the obvious. My problem isn't so much DS himself(even though I see as not much more than a cheesy snake oil peddler), it's that his success, and others like him, is symptomatic of a society that has placed sex way too high on it's list of priorities. Western society's neurotic preoccupation with sex and sexual/gender identities are diseases of affluence.
Maybe he's right about this, but this "status dating" thing goes just as much for girls this age. To be honest, to me it seems like they're even worse..
@sillykatz So if you want to listen to DS's "good advice"(New agey, PC psychobabble) because it makes you feel good about yourself, knock yourself out but don't expect anyone to respect you for it. Btw, you've already lost 100 lbs. and are still a size 20 at 5'7"(still quite, umm, round)? You must have been HUGE! LOL!
@keyki421: Except for the ones who don't.
Well, how about finding an older man into big girls?
Unfortunately guys are still shallow into their 30s
#masculinitysofragile
It's not "guys", its "shallow guys".
Women like bragging about how well their guy treats them not much there looks.
@420fireitup truth
Or date older guys.
Men may learn to appreciate women but too bad women never learn to appreciate unconventionally attractive men. :/
💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙
Good stuff, watching them melt away within 48 hours felt so good, and yes, I used what I mentioned the other day. It actually took a bit more to make them totally disappear, I just go’ogled Melissa Thanderski and days after I still can't believe the comfort.
@hithisishades " Im overweight, so is my girlfriend, we are happy..." And it's that's a good thing! It demonstrates that you're both realists and you've admitted to yourselves that neither of you has the self- discipline to lose the weight and get in shape. So you've both settled. It's good to be self-aware enough to know one's limits. And yes, Savage is a fraud who makes his living telling sad people like you what he thinks they want to hear. And he's obviously good at it!
@sillykatz I don't hate anyone. You're the one who is hateful and bitter, and you're projecting.
@keyki421 you couldn't be more wrong. just check out bbwchan for one example
@yvonmul aw - u can unembitter. Its way funner. PROMISE
Or.... just date older men. :)
@afroclamn You shouldn't marry. It'll make you sad.
Lastly, hetero men are shallow? WOW. Do you think this queen's partner is at all overweight? I'd bet his 'partner' has, at very least, a six pack which I'm sure he's not so subtly encouraged to maintain.
@afroclamn a potato !
Don't listen to this charlatan. This is how he makes his living, preying on they insecurities of people who are under the spell that "the grass is always greener..." Sorry, but sex(although, a lot of fun) is not a primary need. The only time sex is required is for procreation. And if you're a fat girl, he's telling you what you want to hear. Life is short, harsh and unfair. If you're fat, eat less calories than you burn in a day and exercise regularly. There is no panacea.
@keyki421 My boyfriend would dispute this. More cushion for the pushin', man. :D He loves me and all my yummy chubness. Check out thethickness on tumblr and lookit all the love-love-lovin' happening.
Don't know what to think about this, seems like a lot of generalizations.
Dan Savage has Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Getting into his mind by expertly knocking down his psychological walls and making him tingle with feelings of pleasure, means you're doing it right. There are many so called "canned phrases" to make it happen, for example go’ogling something like Celestine Dessike's Words of Desire was the perfect formula for me