I've always considered something like that an honor - someone confiding in you a vulnerable side of themselves I always think is an honor that I try my best to respect.
It hit me like a brick, I was listening while riding my bike and heard her tone change and was like "omfg she was masking the whole time". Oscar-worthy reveal lmao
whenever Jade is on the channel it really *does* feel like an honour. i can't describe it but she just has such an aura that both scares me, but also intrigues me. i wish i could explain this better
“It is alright to struggle to unmask”. Thank you Jade. As an autistic person learning to unmask, as a trauma coping mechanism, I feel seen and heard. Thank you for another very informative video ❤
Hi, so im 8 months later to discuss this here for some reason :| Im also autistic and i literally cannot unmask unless im completely alone. Its impossible, it just feels natural to mask and i dont even force it at this point (it was way harder for me when i was younger), luckily to me my autism isnt severe at all (im sorry if im using the wrong words im not english) so my mask isnt really that diferent from the actual "me" its mostly just my non-vocal expressions i try to supress because they are weird and some of them seem agressive, but i would like to unmask atleast with my near family and my other autistic friend. So, what are you doing to improve it? Hows it going? Im asking because im completely lost. Edit: i forgot, i need to be completely alone and only in my room. I cant even fully unmask in my own house when im alone. Its that bad.
13:50 "And that's why we made this video" The change of tone of voice. The voice. The cadance... LEGIT goosebumps. Thank you for this video guys, you are all incredible!
When Seraphina was in the video, I 10000000% thought it was kya. I could watch this twenty times and I couldn’t find a single second of jade. You have my utmost respect.
When an alter unmasked in front of me for the first time. my stomach dropped. At first i was confused with myself. i masked my own episode of panic because they were my friends and friends should tolerate important moments in the other’s life. i couldnt stop trembling tho. it took me some therapy to understand that i was taken aback from the sudden presence of a complete stranger. they were so alike and different at the same time. and intense contradiction triggers my derealization. despite this: i treasured that memory from the very moment
Wasn’t expecting Jade! She has such a strong personality I would’ve expected part of that to leak through. I’ve been following since Chole was host, and still can’t tell. It’s good to see you Jade!
I even remember thinking near the beginning of the video "I can't see people like Jade or Ruby being able to mask, they're just so unique", so I'm shocked that Jade masked so well.
@@bunnylovesapples same, but it makes sense looking at the title. I wasn’t sure at first but thinking about it I was just waiting for them to say “because I am XYZ”. Jade is so intense but she masked so well, really interesting to see. 🥰
Jade's mannerisms are so different from Kya's, it's amazing how perfect she played the part and it's crazy to see just how different she acts when she switches back to herself
@@conorfrancome4420 yea... I was diagnosed pretty late in life (at 25) so then I really struggled with my own identity. I didnt realize I was masking the entire time. I thoungt thats normal and everyone does it. So now I'm still trying to figure out what I do is masking and what is my actual intention.
What a throwback to Chloe’s intro! You really nailed her tone of voice when she would say hello to start out the video, it caught me so off guard cause I hadn’t heard it in a while, but I would never have guessed it was because of masking. That was such a wonderful video and really made me rethink how I and others interact with the outside world. Thank you, Jade!
I never assume who is fronting for this reason entirely. Jade is probably the last person I expected and it just goes to show how little singlets know/realize about masking as a DID system. Thanks for always keeping us educated and aware. Stay safe, everyone.
Yes! All I could notice in the difference between Kya and Jade in this video is that I thought they seemed to speak slightly lower and have stiffer facial expressions in this video. Also how they looked around/eye movements were different but I cant explain how. And thats a thing I only notice because I've followed them for years and I have friends IRL with DID and I've learned to pick up on very subtle things. Even then I could never have possibly guessed WHO, just that something was different
Jade is absolutely amazing, she cares and loves her system so much, it was amazing to find out that jade was the one fronting the whole time. Jade's personality is extremely different from the masking personality, it shows how long and how often the system masks and how important it is. Others shouldn't be able to tell when someone is masking it is such a difficult and important protective function. I admire how much Jade cares and it is beautiful how seriously she takes her role, because that's how serious and important her role is. Also, Seraphina is adorable, my cat is just as wonderful and accidentally destructive as her.
See, I don't know why, but I knew it was either Kya or it was Jade masking as Kya. Assuming it couldn't be Kya, for some reason, Jade felt like the best fit to me. Maybe just because I'm quite familiar with her, as opposed to some of the other alters. All the "original" alters I'm super familiar with are now part of Kya, Sally, or Jade.
Almost shit myself (figuratively) when Jade stopped masking. She has such a strong presence and tone, genuinely thought it was someone else. What a built in coping mechanism masking is. When I talk about dark subjects or trauma I’ve gone through myself, I have a smile on my face, when I cry it also shows. I’m not happy or comfortable, it’s just there and hard to get rid of. Reminds me of that and it can get annoying. Im glad you’ve made a space where you can unmask. Love you all.
As someone who is dating the host of a rather small system I try to understand what my girlfriend and her system are going through in daily life and alot of the time she and everyone else don't even know themselves. Watching your guys' videos has helped me understand my girlfriend, her system, and their experiences a bit better and I will forever be grateful for that. Our 9month is this month and I don't know if we'd be this far in our relationship if I didn't have your guys' videos to help me understand her experiences so I just wanted to say thank you, to everyone who makes videos discussing your system and DID as a whole
Hey, I had a question since you mentioned you specifically date the host. What happens if you're together on a date, watching a movie or just kissing but another alter fronts, do they tell you and you spend the rest of the time in awkward silence or as friends chilling. Apologies if it's too personal of a question, do not feel obligated to answer if your partner is not okay with sharing info online
@uditabhattacharya2824 I'm fine sharing. So I am pretty much friends with everyone in her system so if one of them does end up fronting during the situation given we'd probably just end up hanging out, after we've figured out what made them switch but It really could've been anything. Thx for the question sorry if this isn't the answer u were looking for
I honestly had no idea it was Jade. It honestly was wild when she dropped the mask. I could have sworn it was Maeri, or maybe a mix of Maeri and Kya. Jade is such a good protector for the system.
One thing I’ve always seen and found very interesting about jade is she is so confident in her words that, unlike many other people In general, she is very still. She doesn’t use hand motions or move much at all. You can clearly see why she has her part in the system.
The way my jaw dropped when jade said it was her , the way she is able to completely mask is both impressive and upsetting because it shows how long she's done it for To kya and Co , I hope u are one day able to completely let down that mask when it is safe for u all to do so.
I got actual chills, when she revealed herself. It truly is a skill. Though I always wish that so many of our learned skills in the mental health world wouldn't have to be for protection. Wishing Dissociadid system, you, and anyone who reads this a little bit more love and safety today 💜
Personally when I saw what this video was about I already had the idea that this would probably happen but I still had no idea who it was until she said who she was really goed to show how completely someone can mask themselves
When you said "masking, even when we're in our own house" I stopped what I was doing and paid full attention. I totally mask even when alone, I realize it's because for all these years I have masked to myself. My therapist has confronted the fact that our system is totally in denial and definitely I need to talk to her about masking at home.
The idea that to general society you have to mask as 'Chloe', and around your friends at times you might have to mask as Kya, is something that never occurred to me. That's so complex.
"but for those of you who struggle, we see you, and at least in one way you are like us" never knew I needed to hear those words so much today... thank you jade
As a long time follower of the channel, I felt quite proud that I had a feeling, from about 3-4 minutes in, that it was Jade talking. It was just something about the intensity in her eyes. Very subtle that if you didn’t watch a lot of your videos, you could never tell.
I also guessed it was Jade based of the intensity she was giving. For me it was less so to do with the eyes and more face and body I guess. My thought process was kind of like "okay the "chloe voice" sounds natural, but the shimmering of kyle's accent is such an amazing level of detail" and I was so stunned and then I kind of went "who would be this good and deliberate at impersonating another member of the system. It needs to be somebody who has been around for some time and knows Kya well" which admittedly could have been a lot of different alters as well but I figured it had to be someone we, as viewers, knew and was comfortable themselves to be on camera. Lastly the way they subtly collect themselves/regain their focuss after every sentence or so (best way I can describe it) and a bit of that thoughtful/deliberateness behind their words. Just the slightest micro hints I would've never noticed if not for the video title, that together contribute to this "feeling". I'm probably still most shocked by Jade faking the laugh so perfectly though... TL:DR; somewhat similarly I too guessed it was Jade
I definitely couldn't tell because kyle had a similar intensity albeit not as... steely as jade. Like a friend who won't let you talk bad about yourself
@@phoebesmith8154 who's Mike? I've seen old followers mention him sometimes but I started watching Dissociadid's videos last year and I have no idea :/
Hi! The Jade unmasking moment hit me like a train. I was expecting a reveal that it wasn't Kya, but Jade's graveness in her tone and eyes always leaves a strong impression on me... I remember feeling the same when she did videos back when DissociaDID was younger as a channel. I really hope you are doing well Jade! You are right, it takes a lot of energy and will to unmask, and I am happy you pointed it out so clearly and fully. You don't front for frivolous reasons, and I really think bringing this issue to light is not a frivolous thing. Please keep supporting Kya, it does make a difference in the system's quality of life I believe!
My first thought was Maeri, but I also thought of Jade, cause in the video she said the words 'my system' at least once. I think I've only heard Jade refer to her headmates as 'my system'.
People forget that no matter what a person seen online ≠ that person irl and that the relationship formed with them is purely parasocial. I think it's even easier to forget with you all, as you seem very transparent in your videos, especially considering the topic of this channel puts you in a vulnerable space.
Let's just take a moment to appreciate not only the DissociaDID system, but also [spoiler] for making this video and being the incredible alter that they are ❤
Jade is so eloquent; I feel her gravity through her careful words and those severe eyes. I feel like I should be intimidated by her but instead I am comforted by her presence. I can tell she is someone who cares immensely about her system as well as those that she is speaking to in this video. 🖤🖤
Jade masking as Kya doing the Chloe intro for the first line of the video really speaks to the 5D chess levels of masking. Very insightful video. My respect for Jade, her job and her dedication is neverending. I wish you all the best and send love ❤️
13:50 my jaw dropped. Something in the body’s eyes changed, I don’t know what, but I could really feel that abrupt change and it terrified me, not only because I wasn’t expecting it, but also because it was like looking in a mirror for a moment and the reality of how much I mask slapped me across the face. I’ve recently re-entered a situation where I have to regularly interact with other humans and the constant masking is so incredibly tiring and I now I know why I can’t stop doing it. I don’t feel safe, despite the fact that I know I am, the mask refuses to drop unless I’m alone in a bathroom with my headphones on. Idk where I was going with this comment but damn Jade just gave me a massive wake-up call - one which I cannot be more thankful for.
I only expected Jade because of the cadence of her voice. Jade's deliberateness with her words lends to a very slow and methodical cadence (which is incredibly intense, yet simultaneously soothing). I felt that cadence a bit in certain parts of the video, but I was never 100% sure that she wasn't Kya! It's incredible, the talents we adapt to protect ourselves. Thank you, Jade, for making such a vulnerable video. Coming from you especially (but also from the system as a whole) this truly feels like an honor.
'Thank you, Jade, for making such a vulnerable video. Coming from you especially (but also from the system as a whole) this truly feels like an honor.'👆
The beginning of this video is amazing "welcome back to another video about dissociaDID... well yeah but no, anyways!" Also this video is amazing. Masking even extends to people like me on the autism spectrum. I didn't know I was masking until this video. Thank you so much! You all are so amazing kindred souls!!
Masking is primarily used as an autism term; I’m not sure how I feel about it being used for other disorders? I know there was friction recently about ADHDers using the term
@@mirandaking1618 this is true but masking, to me, is more of an umbrella term for anyone who feels they need to hide a part of themselves that others may not like. If you watch the anime Spy x Family that is a great allegory to masking as all the main characters mask parts of themselves. Granted that is a anime so take this response with a grain of salt lol
@@mirandaking1618 I'm AuDHD and I see no problems with anyone using the term masking if it's fits. It's mainly used for autistics cuz we're traumatized from society and hide who we are or how we feel by masking but that means any other disorder that has been traumatized into not feeling safe about being themselves will also mask. I think it's more a trauma response than an autistic one. We shouldn't gatekeep how people express themselves and the terms they use.
Masking has become a huge part of my life. While I myself don't have DID, I started masking at a very young age as a response to my depression and struggles with PTSD(even though I didn't know it yet, and didn't even know what those meant). I remember thinking something was wrong with me, but I always tried so hard to seem happy, or just generally okay, and I still do. It's nice to know I'm not the only one who struggles with this, even though I wish other people didn't have to. Thank you so much, Jade. The videos you and your system have actually helped me understand both DID and myself so much better. I have so much respect for you all
As someone with a "scary" cluster B personality disorder, I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to unmask, with all the stigma and negativitiy about my disorder being so deeply ingrained in society. I'm not even really sure if I fully know who I am under the mask, which also makes it incredibly difficult. I appreciate you for bringing awareness to this and showing people how some of us have to live our lives. Much love. ❤
I believe I have undiagnosed BPD and a dissociation and/or derealization disorder, so masking is a HUGE part of my life. It's gotten to the point where I don't even know where one mask ends and the next one begins. It's great to know I'm not alone, but I'm sorry that you also have to suffer like this
I am the same i totally get it. Its super hard and i am still scared to unmask around people i know really well. I noticed in my last talk to my mentor that i was still holding up a facade that i was fine. I also have bpd but also paranoid and schizo personality disorder. Its hard people seem to automaticaly stigmatise me. So its really hard for me to actually even getting close to people.
I’m sorry you feel you are scary because you have a cluster b. That is something out of your control. It’s only “scary” if you use it to make poor choices. It’s not if you are just trying to be the best person you can be while admitting mistakes. Then you are an amazing example of the disorder not taking control.
Dealing with peoples disbelief over my chronic pain is awful, I’m constantly masking my pain until it gets so bad that I can’t bare to do it anymore. You’re so brave for showing us and telling us the truth, it’s scary. Mad respect for your system, for surviving and educating. Much love.
this. all of this. me too. idk about your pain but mine doesn't have an underlying cause and when I try to explain that to people they usually come back with "then how can you be in pain?" /disbelief. I also spent my entire high school years (13 til 18) with not just kids who didn't believe me but the ADULTS didn't believe me either - despite the numerous hospital appointments and sick notes from said doctors. and you KNOW that if the teachers don't believe me, I've got 0 chance with the kids. so your comment (and Jade's comment) about masking pain (especially chronic pain) really hit me. so again; this. all of this.
Happy to see Jade back on the channel, I’ve always been so impressed by how raw and strong she is. It was cool of her to put this out there even as someone who seems much more comfortable handling things from behind the scenes rather than being in the spotlight. Thanks for sharing your experience, this was very informative and beautifully done and I hope we get to see more of you on the channel!
Jade, you have such a penetrating gaze. It comes right through the screen. Reading through the comments, you clearly have a lot of people happy to see you in this video. Obviously we all appreciate your role in the system, but I have this sense that when you are fronting as yourself, we all feel instantly sobered but also almost safer ourselves being in your presence. You epitomize strength. You are all beautiful souls. Thank you.
I like this approach and this information, DID is not a mental illness it's a Complex coping mechanism. I have a very covert crew, they existed for 56 years before i was aware of them. My daughter knew there were "5 mom's" ( each one very different) when she was 8 yrs old, I have had co-workers who had noticed "differences" and mentioned them, but it was not until i had a cluster of trauma's in 2015 that opened the mental gate to their presence and i began to meet them.
We're recently diagnosed and have thought we had this for a while but struggled to be believed. Except we had a neighbour whom we miss dearly who always noticed when we switched even when we were masking. They were ND and just picked up on us switching, sometimes before we had even grasped it. And over time they were even able to tell who we'd switched too sometimes. They were so special to us, first person to make us feel heard, seen and safe. Gave us the confidence to fight for diagnosis that we now have. And even though we're not believed and we want to live authentically, we're still masking daily to keep safe due to the ablism of the supposed "support" around us.
Masking even while at home or with safe people is a mood. Neurodivergence is so exhausting. I was forced to mask so much growing up I am still learning who I am without the mask. Thank you for this, Jade , and the rest of you. Learning to balance safety and owning your truth is so hard.
Omg I could tell from the overwhelming sense of calm I got that it was Jade, just by the words and feelings, Jade just gives such a stern but calming mood over all, and I’ve been following since Chloe was host, I am so proud of the whole system!
I know I will never be able to fully understand the experiences of someone with DID but I do know what it feels like to struggle better intellectually knowing I'm safe but emotionally feeling in danger. When your brain can't accept that you're in a safe space even when you're alone in your house. Hardwired emotional responses make you feel really silly, "why am I afraid? I'm safe, I'm so stupid, its fine!" It's hard but sometimes I just have to take a deep breath and let it be how it is. My brain and my body are just trying to protect me, so I hate the way it makes me unable to participate in many societal things, it's hard but you learn to not hate yourself. I wish you guys luck in being your authentic selves in a world that doesn't think it's normal. It's okay to be in a safe environment and not unmask, I think I speak for all of your subscribers when I say we're proud of you for doing what you do. :)
We really needed this today. Thank you, Jade. It feels really validating to hear that the constant masking, being blendy 99% of the time, being unsure of... well, most things, is normal and okay. We find that unmasking in general only tends to happen (for us) when we journal. That is our singular true safe place to do so, to be who we are with zero fear of judgment or the constant fear of, "I don't really know who you are," or, "What do you really want?" Because, in all honesty, our answer to those things is usually a muddled mess of "Uhhhh..." with confused noises. So, thank you.
Jade's videos always give me chills. She's so strong and intense, but so caring and smart. She's a force to be reckoned with and I appreciate her so much.
Jade is so good at masking, and has done it for so long, that I feel like I can even see bits of previous hosts in there along with the Kya face. Little bits of Chloe leaking through, ya know? I'm glad your system has such a powerful alter as a protector. Jade is a force of nature, like a hurricane or a tsunami. She has a hard job, but I hope she has peace as well. Idk if I interpret this correctly as a singlet, but I view alters as individual people who deserve peace and happiness just as much as anyone who doesn't have to share a body. Keep being your amazing self Jade, anyone who isn't a fool can see how valuable you are to your system and how seriously you take your job. Much love to the whole system!
as a highly traumatized person, i have to notice tiny changes in people (for safety). i noticed that kya wasn’t the maker of this video even tho she called herself kya, but i wouldn’t have guessed jade was fronting. i really appreciate this video and all the dissociadid content
when I tell you that when jade stopped masking my stomach dropped- I've been watching this channel for years and I feel that some of the time I can recognize when a new alter has fronted- but this time I was completely caught off guard
Initial thought is Sally... Ok now I'm seeing Jade's mannerisms/tone a bit The laughter was throwing me off, I don't think jade has ever laughed on camera she is so sincere
this was such a powerful video. when Jade stopped masking, at first i was in a state of surprise and awe. it really just goes to show how different an alter can be from the “default” mask they put up. seeing that change made me realize how DID is very complex, which i find amazing to learn about through your videos. lots of love to you all!!
even with our host's partner, I can't help but mask because I'm not fully comfortable with them (not any fault of theirs, I simply haven't gotten the chance to get to know them) in reality, I know I'm safe, however it's still hard to let myself, be myself. thank you for making this video and educating not only us but others too. hope you're having a nice day :)
This made me very emotional, i mask a lot when it comes to my mental and physical issues. I don’t have severe disorders but i still say that im fine when im not etc. It took and still takes a lot of time to open up and feel save to talk about myself and my health around people. Thank you for this video, i hope more people see this and know about it.
Wait, this makes so much sense now, we mask around everyone but also sometimes, depending on alter, they don't mask as much, this explains so much, until now we were frustrated about why can't we feel like ourselves around people, i can't stress enough how much this video has helped explain this and calm me down. Thank you so much
I could tell from the beginning "Kya usually has a bit more energy. Which alter is with us right now?" Jade, you did an amazing job with helping to understand what masking is because I was so confused when I read the title. Thank you so much. I have so much respect for you. Thank you for keeping your system safe.
I remember my psychiatrist telling me she couldn't help me if she didn't know what I was actually dealing with. I didn't realize how much I was masking until that moment. Thank you Jade and everyone else for talking about this
I like hearing that she told you that. If it was me, I would feel so relieved and grateful that I could emotion-dump on her, of course if I trusted her. Good wishes to you!
Jade, as a fellow system I want to thank you for this video. We have watched you for a few years now and learned so much as altars and our host. We were diagnosed in our 20s and now almost 50. We can never stop learning and you have been a wonderful way for us to communicate to our host how we feel as well. Bless you and all of your amazing selves. We are all entitled to a voice and you have helped us all ❤ keep up the amazing work you all do
I recently found out I am plural and have Chronic Complex Dissociative Disorders. Your videos were really helpful for me in telling my therapist about my experiences and finally getting the help we need, thank you.
I felt so seen I got nauseous. Feeling like we're unmasking wrong is a constant worry for us. I had to stop doing my makeup to have a bit of a cry. Thank you. ♡
hard same. i started rocking and shaking and going a bit ... yknow it can be a lot to hear the nice thing if youhavent had it even though it's THE GOOD. [/respectful. if wanted] warmth to you and good luck w the fall out/ emotional care associated.
The only "unnatural kya" thing I saw was the way you interacted with Saraphena it wasn't what I've seen when we know Kya is fronting and she comes in the room while you're filming. I had thought of Jade while watching because I remember her Meet the Alters video and she was very straight to the point and stern with us, but I was unsure of whom else could have been split or formed we don't know of that could have that same demeanor. Thank you for what you do and the courage and bravery it takes. We love you all.
I agree as well. I also thought the word "host" and a few other words was slightly odd and that was why I knew from the beginning it wasnt Kya. I just.. I just hope people dont think I am just saying it simply but I cant help it that I notice small details. I dont know if it is because I am an empath or just very darn observant!
Same, the interaction with Seraphina is what initially did it for me. We already knew it wasn’t Kya, but I think if it weren’t for the title, little things like that and a few other key things in the video would definitely tip some viewers off who pay attention to certain mannerisms/quirks.
Watching this back after already knowing who is fronting, I can spot super tiny signs that it’s Jade. Her eyes are piercing but in a good way. I’ve heard people say her stare can see your soul, but I also see some emotion. I adore Jade so much and she is most definitely a fan favorite. (I’m coming from your most recent video where Jade fronts and doesn’t understand how much people love her). I didn’t understand that I masked around people even without having DID. My therapist and doctor helped me realize that masking wasn’t just a DID thing and you have explained it to me and helped me be so much more comfortable in my own body sometimes. My default is to mask so that I don’t have to be vulnerable. It took eight years for my partner to fully break down my walls where I wasn’t masking around him still. He’s the one person that I can FULLY be myself around. I want to thank you and everyone else in the system for putting yourself out here; while risking everyone to help others. Thank you for posting and putting yourself out here to help others. While I don’t have DID, I have other mental health issues and you have helped me so much more than you will ever realize. I’m beyond grateful for your channel and your system. Everyone has done such a wonderful job. Give everyone in your system hugs or love, whatever they are more comfortable with. 🤍
okay so since I'm a longtime subscriber I kind of knew it wasn't Kya who was fronting and depending on how you talked it reminded me a little very little bit of Chloe but I DID NOT expect it to be jade since jade voiced before that she wasn't comfortable filming herself for a yt video. You gave me goosebumps. You mask so perfectly and after this revelation, it really reflected what you said previously about masking. I hope Dissociadid find someone they truly and wholly feel safe around because masking might be tremendously tiring and maybe sometimes lonely. Much love for you all, each and every alter. You inspire me a lot ❤
I see some comments about masking and not having DID and I wanted to add my voice. Though I do not have DID, I completely understand and validate this disorder because of my own disorder. I have generalized anxiety disorder, which means I am anxious over things when I shouldn't be. And I mask that anxiety. I make sure no one knows my inner world is self imploding. I am only one personality in one body and yet I don't want anyone on the outside to know the trauma and chaos going on inside of my mind. It only makes sense that a system would do the same to protect not only themselves but every alter in the system and the body of the system. And unmasking that protection means we are allowed to he ourselves for just a moment. No trauma, no stigma, no pressure. Of course a protector like Jade would know how to protect the system in the outside world. I have to do the same for me and my mental health. The only difference is the outside perspective the system or myself allows you to see. It doesn't change the defense mechanism or the trauma that developed that mechanism. We are all just defending ourselves. So be kind. Everyone you know is battling something you will never see, so don't add to it. Allow yourself to be a space where we can rest and heal. You will never know how much it means to someone when they are allowed to unmask and rest.
Everytime I fall back into that place of believing I’m going insane and am making everything up. I find another dissociaDID video that explains how what I’m going through is normal and a part of this disorder. Thank you @dissociaDID
It was definitely the title or thumbnail that tuned me in, but I knew that it wasn’t Kya from the start. Because of that I was combing the video looking for little discrepancies, proof of you will. After all maybe it really was Kya and I was being reverse physiologied. Anyway I noticed that their voice was a little higher at times, the way our beloved host spoke in old Chloe and Nin videos. Kya is just a bit more butch and taxed for lack of better words, at least that’s what I’ve observed, maybe I’m seeing and hearing things. Obviously I adore Jade but I couldn’t remember if she was still in the system, though I figured she must be, and with Kyle and Nin now fuzed into Kya I figured Jade would be the only one to make a vid like this. I hoped it would be here, but by the time she revealed herself I had let the hard down a little and Jade you gave me goosebumps!! Jade I truly hope that none of this offends or triggers you, I’m not trying to be cocky or say “haha I knew it” or anything stupid like that. I’m Neurodivergent myself ADHD as the main one, and as a trauma response and safety/masking ability I psychoanalyze people a lot. I watch faces and tones of voice very closely. Since I sometimes struggle with reading a room I’ve overcompensated and the Video’s title and thumbnail made me turn on that radar. I fear being deceived and and fear seeming wrong or incompetent. I wanted to share this little part of my experience because I’m laying in bed, safe, and here I am using a defense mechanism while watching through a screen. Thank you for sharing about masking. We are very very different, and yet I have never felt more seen. So much love to the whole system, and I’m eternally sorry if I used incorrect pronouns at any point in this ramble, I proffered but I’m an idiot when it comes to words so big whoops. 💗💗💗
15:07 i deal with this sm. when Jade said "we see you" i could've cried because we relate to the struggle of unmasking so much. 95% of the time we have no idea who we are & we just feel fuzzy, and even when we do know we're scared we're making it up despite having amnesia and different opinions on things. this video made me feel so valid, thank you so much. and you all look really pretty 💚. -alira
Jade just has a way of holding onto my attention that I don’t understand. I was looking out the window at snow, which usually just zones me out of everything, but I still heard every single word. That’s impressive
I'm tired of this dualism when people tell you to be and love yourself and at the same time, when you open up, they say that it's wrong or it's "too much" or that you're begging for attention. But thank you for opening up to us and doing this video! I've learnt a lot today from you and I'm waiting to learn more ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ !
My heart jolted when Jade revealed that is was her fronting the entire time. Like that change in expression and everything just gave me a sense of my world turning on its head since I wasn't expecting it. Jade you mask so well and did what you do best. Protect.
tw suicide mention I had a friend who was the host of a system, she had DID and was aware of it but was undiagnosed despite being in and out of psychiatric wards for most of her life. It would have been 100% impossible to tell her alters apart from her without knowing she was part of a system, and even after I knew the differences were very subtle. I was only able to identify an alter once and that was because she was openly suicidal and my friend warned me about one of the alters being suicidal. Back then I felt bad that the other alters didn't feel comfortable being themselves around me, but as I got older, I realized that I also hadn't been fully myself with them. I'm autistic and have been masking basically my entire life, even around my close friends and family. My sibling is the only person I unmask around easily. Having that experience made me realize that it's not about trust or familiarity, it's about how safe you felt in the moment, and school (where I saw my friend most often) wasn't a safe place to unmask.
Oh wow! Jade has such an intense stare, I feel like watching it back it slipped in some bits but holy shit I had no idea on the first time watch. Jade, you are doing your job so amazingly and your system is lucky to have you. Thank you for protecting everyone and thank you for this video 💖. Hope all of you are safe and as happy as you can be, and that life shines on you more and more. Much love!
Jade is incredible! She's the last alter I expected to be fronting because there was such a lack of eye contact with the camera at the beginning and Jade always has such piercing, intense, and focused eye contact. You are wonderful Jade, thank you for being comfortable enough with us to unmask. Wishing you and the rest of the system, peace and happiness today ✨️
I don't have DID but this video almost made me cry because it feels like someone has put into words something I feel all the time. I'm autistic and mask all day everyday. I really am trying to learn to unmask. My friends are so so supportive and know I'm autistic but I still struggle to unmask around them because I was never allowed to be myself before without punishment or ridicule. This video means so much to me. Thank you Jade for filming and thank you to the rest of the system for just being yourselves when you can. ❤️❤️
The slight details like the beginning not telling you which alter was speaking was an indication of this being another alter masking. Jade is so powerful when she removes the mask & I cannot thank you enough for showing us this sort of thing that we wouldn’t know about without this video
I have masked myself for so long during my childhood and I still do this as an adult. It is exhausting doing it for so long. The things that are going on inside is not revealed to other people. Like you said, unmasking in front of others is not an easy task. Thanks Jade for this great video. It's always a pleasure to see you. :)
I love that you bring up masking even when home and/or in a safe space. There are times where I'll be completely alone and forcing myself to hold in fidgety moments and watching my facial expressions and tone (when speaking to my cat or myself) and then be like "...?? Nobody is here why am I doing this?" And relax a bit.. .still before I know it I'm back to masking ^.^;
I expected this to relate to me as someone who couldn't explain why they didn't act the way they wanted to for years (autistic-spectrum related) but it ended up hitting way closer to home as a trans individual. Thank you for this, Jade. I learned something about myself as well as about did
I have autism but I only found out last year. The masking is definitely different than DID masking, but I relate to several things from this video. I still mask when I'm by myself most of the time. I don't even know who my unmasked self is. I'm trying to learn who that is, but it's a very slow process and it's so hard! Thank you so much for this video, Jade. So important and validating.
I only found you all within the last few days and I can already tell you're all wonderful. The first I saw of you was your interview with Anthony Padilla and it was so well done. Keep up the great work.
I havent even finished the video yet, but i needed to mention that I audibly gasped when Jade introduced herself. I have always loved jades presense in these videos and from the moment this video started I felt soooo drawn into a sense of protection, and just truly saying the words I need to hear. I have severe ptsd amongst many other diagnoses, and was rearended in June leaving me with a concussion and many physical injuries. My message may seem rather disjointed, and for that I apologize. But I wanted to truly Thank you Jade, for giving me words that I can show others to express how I've been experiencing the world these last few months. You are doing a remarkable job in vocalizing your role in your system and allowing the public to view how difficult And how powerful masking and unmasking can impact a person's daily life. Thank you for your message, and I thank your whole system for creating a space where I can see the words "you are safe" while I am receiving the message you give us today. Immaculate. Brilliant. And thank you for your trust, as well. It means everything. Thank you 💖✨️
This video and your diagnosis video really helped me. I'm only early in my journeys of discovering being a system. And I had a lot of activity but recently its been no alter activity other than dissociation
Masking is such a big thing without people even knowing it! I know I present a different version of myself in front of people as a safety mechanic, even if its with my closest friends, and it took me forever to realise that I was masking and I'm still breaking down this mask years after knowing its there
Jade, thank you so much for this video. I have a friend and while we aren’t very close, they did disclose to me that they have DID. Over the years I have never been able to tell if/when they had switched outside of a specific discord mod we use and after watching this I know understand that they are most likely masking. While I don’t think this will change much about our current dynamic im thankful that you have educated me so that I can work to be a more respectful ally to them and to anyone with DID I may meet in the future. Thank you Jade and the rest of disociadid for all of the educational content you provide!
Ello Jade This really helped us a lot this week we have distracted through our the whole month or so now. Our partner tries his best to understand us, but I /we barely understand any of this. Hope you are well. We were feeling your vibe through out, I'm glad and hope you are well. I wish everyone could understand this. Love from our Llama system ☺️💜 Thank you for all you do for your system and all of ours ❤️💜
I was quite surprised I actually managed to guess correctly! If I hadn't known it wasn't Kya from the start I wouldn't have noticed at all. At first I thought it might have been Sally due to the way Jade spoke to Seraphina (hope I'm spelling that right) but as the video went on I could hear Jade's intonation just a little here and there (I find she speaks very eloquently and pronounces words in a deliberate manner if that makes sense). But it was such a tiny detail I assumed I was wrong. Thank you for making this video Jade, it was nice to see you! We appreciate the hard work you do, even if we don't know what exactly it entails.
Throughout the video i caught the vibe of "Hm, the structure is a bit different" and then Jade introduced herself. Masking is sad but necessary to keep you guys safe
"this isn't a good representation because it doesn't fit my expectations" I think is more... To the heart of it. Thanks for sharing this video, we really needed it. We'd been watching your content for so long. We never understood why it resonated with us so much but I thought. Idk what I thought. But now I'm seeing a DID specialist. I still convince myself I am none of that, none of this. It is hard.
The whole “if someone unmasks around you its an honor” really struck a cord with me
it means they're safe with you
I've always considered something like that an honor - someone confiding in you a vulnerable side of themselves I always think is an honor that I try my best to respect.
You should make the statement a merch piece like a sweater or shirt with you disociaDID logo on it
Goosebumps..
Same, I have a friend who doesn’t mask around me and I never realised how big a thing that was, planning to go thank them for trusting me after this
When Jade was like "and that's why we made this video" I SCREAMEDDD. Like I understand and it's a mechanism for safety but she killed that shit fr.
This made me laugh 😂
@@DissociaDID I hope that was respectful, I just love yall and yalls videos 💕
@@DissociaDID 🌈🌟⭐🌛✨🌜💯☄️🌄
It hit me like a brick, I was listening while riding my bike and heard her tone change and was like "omfg she was masking the whole time". Oscar-worthy reveal lmao
“It’s hard living someone else’s life” really struck me
Yeah this was such a huge line for me too, I've felt this so personally
whenever Jade is on the channel it really *does* feel like an honour. i can't describe it but she just has such an aura that both scares me, but also intrigues me. i wish i could explain this better
I feel the same
“It is alright to struggle to unmask”. Thank you Jade. As an autistic person learning to unmask, as a trauma coping mechanism, I feel seen and heard. Thank you for another very informative video ❤
As another autistic person, I feel this! Glad to see another Autie relating to this
Hi, so im 8 months later to discuss this here for some reason :| Im also autistic and i literally cannot unmask unless im completely alone. Its impossible, it just feels natural to mask and i dont even force it at this point (it was way harder for me when i was younger), luckily to me my autism isnt severe at all (im sorry if im using the wrong words im not english) so my mask isnt really that diferent from the actual "me" its mostly just my non-vocal expressions i try to supress because they are weird and some of them seem agressive, but i would like to unmask atleast with my near family and my other autistic friend. So, what are you doing to improve it? Hows it going? Im asking because im completely lost.
Edit: i forgot, i need to be completely alone and only in my room. I cant even fully unmask in my own house when im alone. Its that bad.
13:50 "And that's why we made this video"
The change of tone of voice. The voice. The cadance... LEGIT goosebumps.
Thank you for this video guys, you are all incredible!
When Seraphina was in the video, I 10000000% thought it was kya. I could watch this twenty times and I couldn’t find a single second of jade.
You have my utmost respect.
When an alter unmasked in front of me for the first time. my stomach dropped. At first i was confused with myself. i masked my own episode of panic because they were my friends and friends should tolerate important moments in the other’s life. i couldnt stop trembling tho. it took me some therapy to understand that i was taken aback from the sudden presence of a complete stranger. they were so alike and different at the same time. and intense contradiction triggers my derealization. despite this: i treasured that memory from the very moment
Wasn’t expecting Jade! She has such a strong personality I would’ve expected part of that to leak through. I’ve been following since Chole was host, and still can’t tell.
It’s good to see you Jade!
Same! The way jade speaks is so distinct! Guess it just shows how skilled they all really are!
I would have guessed Sally. Not expecting Jade. Even though I love her.
I even remember thinking near the beginning of the video "I can't see people like Jade or Ruby being able to mask, they're just so unique", so I'm shocked that Jade masked so well.
I was confused who is talking right now but I knew it wasn't Kya
@@bunnylovesapples same, but it makes sense looking at the title. I wasn’t sure at first but thinking about it I was just waiting for them to say “because I am XYZ”. Jade is so intense but she masked so well, really interesting to see. 🥰
Jade's mannerisms are so different from Kya's, it's amazing how perfect she played the part and it's crazy to see just how different she acts when she switches back to herself
As an autistic person I can say we do mask as well but it goes a bit differently. Love to all NDs, we are amazing people.
Yeah i can confirm that as another aautistic person and can confirm that unmaskig is not something you can simply turn off.
Yes, I am Autistic and DID. so I mask alot, especially my alters.
Autistic person here as well, it feels so nice that they talked about it in general, just to be seen is so warming!
@@conorfrancome4420 yea... I was diagnosed pretty late in life (at 25) so then I really struggled with my own identity. I didnt realize I was masking the entire time. I thoungt thats normal and everyone does it. So now I'm still trying to figure out what I do is masking and what is my actual intention.
@@dominikuhlir2347 i was diagnosed at 18 so yeah i understand what you are saying also struggeling to find my identity
I noticed that Jade never slipped into Kya's "Kyle" accent. It really took me back to when Nin was the host. Thank you for this insightful video.
Yes! I thought this too! I recognized Nin right away i had to check the date of the video
What a throwback to Chloe’s intro! You really nailed her tone of voice when she would say hello to start out the video, it caught me so off guard cause I hadn’t heard it in a while, but I would never have guessed it was because of masking. That was such a wonderful video and really made me rethink how I and others interact with the outside world. Thank you, Jade!
it was scary haha it felt like nothing has changed
In fairness, they have had a long time to practice haha
That's what it was, I knew she didn't sound like Kya and that it was just, different. But it sounds like Chloe from the beginning.
May I just say you all are awesome! I am so so thankful that you all are able to educate on Dissociative Identity Disorder !
I never assume who is fronting for this reason entirely. Jade is probably the last person I expected and it just goes to show how little singlets know/realize about masking as a DID system.
Thanks for always keeping us educated and aware. Stay safe, everyone.
hi, can I ask, is "singlets" what you call ppl without DID? so, I would be a singlet? can I call myself that?
@@sonia625 pretty sure
Yes! All I could notice in the difference between Kya and Jade in this video is that I thought they seemed to speak slightly lower and have stiffer facial expressions in this video. Also how they looked around/eye movements were different but I cant explain how. And thats a thing I only notice because I've followed them for years and I have friends IRL with DID and I've learned to pick up on very subtle things. Even then I could never have possibly guessed WHO, just that something was different
@@sonia625 singlets are anyone who are not in a plural system. not all plurals have did.
Jade is absolutely amazing, she cares and loves her system so much, it was amazing to find out that jade was the one fronting the whole time. Jade's personality is extremely different from the masking personality, it shows how long and how often the system masks and how important it is. Others shouldn't be able to tell when someone is masking it is such a difficult and important protective function. I admire how much Jade cares and it is beautiful how seriously she takes her role, because that's how serious and important her role is. Also, Seraphina is adorable, my cat is just as wonderful and accidentally destructive as her.
See, I don't know why, but I knew it was either Kya or it was Jade masking as Kya. Assuming it couldn't be Kya, for some reason, Jade felt like the best fit to me. Maybe just because I'm quite familiar with her, as opposed to some of the other alters. All the "original" alters I'm super familiar with are now part of Kya, Sally, or Jade.
Almost shit myself (figuratively) when Jade stopped masking. She has such a strong presence and tone, genuinely thought it was someone else. What a built in coping mechanism masking is. When I talk about dark subjects or trauma I’ve gone through myself, I have a smile on my face, when I cry it also shows. I’m not happy or comfortable, it’s just there and hard to get rid of. Reminds me of that and it can get annoying. Im glad you’ve made a space where you can unmask. Love you all.
(figuratively) 😂😂😂
I like the way you put that. It’s a very good physical demonstration of almost a literal mask.
As someone who is dating the host of a rather small system I try to understand what my girlfriend and her system are going through in daily life and alot of the time she and everyone else don't even know themselves. Watching your guys' videos has helped me understand my girlfriend, her system, and their experiences a bit better and I will forever be grateful for that. Our 9month is this month and I don't know if we'd be this far in our relationship if I didn't have your guys' videos to help me understand her experiences so I just wanted to say thank you, to everyone who makes videos discussing your system and DID as a whole
Hey, I had a question since you mentioned you specifically date the host. What happens if you're together on a date, watching a movie or just kissing but another alter fronts, do they tell you and you spend the rest of the time in awkward silence or as friends chilling. Apologies if it's too personal of a question, do not feel obligated to answer if your partner is not okay with sharing info online
@uditabhattacharya2824 I'm fine sharing. So I am pretty much friends with everyone in her system so if one of them does end up fronting during the situation given we'd probably just end up hanging out, after we've figured out what made them switch but It really could've been anything. Thx for the question sorry if this isn't the answer u were looking for
I honestly had no idea it was Jade. It honestly was wild when she dropped the mask. I could have sworn it was Maeri, or maybe a mix of Maeri and Kya. Jade is such a good protector for the system.
One thing I’ve always seen and found very interesting about jade is she is so confident in her words that, unlike many other people In general, she is very still. She doesn’t use hand motions or move much at all. You can clearly see why she has her part in the system.
The way my jaw dropped when jade said it was her , the way she is able to completely mask is both impressive and upsetting because it shows how long she's done it for
To kya and Co ,
I hope u are one day able to completely let down that mask when it is safe for u all to do so.
I got actual chills, when she revealed herself. It truly is a skill. Though I always wish that so many of our learned skills in the mental health world wouldn't have to be for protection. Wishing Dissociadid system, you, and anyone who reads this a little bit more love and safety today 💜
Personally when I saw what this video was about I already had the idea that this would probably happen but I still had no idea who it was until she said who she was really goed to show how completely someone can mask themselves
When you said "masking, even when we're in our own house" I stopped what I was doing and paid full attention. I totally mask even when alone, I realize it's because for all these years I have masked to myself. My therapist has confronted the fact that our system is totally in denial and definitely I need to talk to her about masking at home.
Their face whenever Seraphina is around is just the sweetest thing! Pets make the world go 'round! Go Seraphina!
I’m really grateful Jade took that time to sit down and discuss this because it’s definitely a hard topic. Thank you for this one Jade
The idea that to general society you have to mask as 'Chloe', and around your friends at times you might have to mask as Kya, is something that never occurred to me. That's so complex.
"but for those of you who struggle, we see you, and at least in one way you are like us"
never knew I needed to hear those words so much today... thank you jade
As a long time follower of the channel, I felt quite proud that I had a feeling, from about 3-4 minutes in, that it was Jade talking. It was just something about the intensity in her eyes. Very subtle that if you didn’t watch a lot of your videos, you could never tell.
I also guessed it was Jade based of the intensity she was giving. For me it was less so to do with the eyes and more face and body I guess.
My thought process was kind of like "okay the "chloe voice" sounds natural, but the shimmering of kyle's accent is such an amazing level of detail" and I was so stunned and then I kind of went "who would be this good and deliberate at impersonating another member of the system. It needs to be somebody who has been around for some time and knows Kya well" which admittedly could have been a lot of different alters as well but I figured it had to be someone we, as viewers, knew and was comfortable themselves to be on camera. Lastly the way they subtly collect themselves/regain their focuss after every sentence or so (best way I can describe it) and a bit of that thoughtful/deliberateness behind their words. Just the slightest micro hints I would've never noticed if not for the video title, that together contribute to this "feeling".
I'm probably still most shocked by Jade faking the laugh so perfectly though...
TL:DR; somewhat similarly I too guessed it was Jade
I definitely couldn't tell because kyle had a similar intensity albeit not as... steely as jade. Like a friend who won't let you talk bad about yourself
The give away for me was the way jade speaks. Early on in particular there were a few leaks of the steely resolve, the authoritative tone
@@Jrow215 yeah I caught that too. Though I thought I heard a bit of Mike in there too.
@@phoebesmith8154 who's Mike? I've seen old followers mention him sometimes but I started watching Dissociadid's videos last year and I have no idea :/
Hi! The Jade unmasking moment hit me like a train. I was expecting a reveal that it wasn't Kya, but Jade's graveness in her tone and eyes always leaves a strong impression on me... I remember feeling the same when she did videos back when DissociaDID was younger as a channel. I really hope you are doing well Jade! You are right, it takes a lot of energy and will to unmask, and I am happy you pointed it out so clearly and fully. You don't front for frivolous reasons, and I really think bringing this issue to light is not a frivolous thing. Please keep supporting Kya, it does make a difference in the system's quality of life I believe!
I thought it was Sally or Maeri! Jade crossed mind but I was like nah there's no way she could pull off Kya so perfectly and boy was I wrong!
Jade was my first thought and sally was my second choice!
My first thought was Maeri, but I also thought of Jade, cause in the video she said the words 'my system' at least once. I think I've only heard Jade refer to her headmates as 'my system'.
People forget that no matter what a person seen online ≠ that person irl and that the relationship formed with them is purely parasocial. I think it's even easier to forget with you all, as you seem very transparent in your videos, especially considering the topic of this channel puts you in a vulnerable space.
Let's just take a moment to appreciate not only the DissociaDID system, but also [spoiler] for making this video and being the incredible alter that they are ❤
noooo spoilers!!!! XD
Oh no, I saw this too early, and now I’m like… shit, yeah, that IS Jade, isn’t it? 😅
@@inu4771 Oh shoot! I didn't think about that! Sorry!
Jade is so eloquent; I feel her gravity through her careful words and those severe eyes. I feel like I should be intimidated by her but instead I am comforted by her presence. I can tell she is someone who cares immensely about her system as well as those that she is speaking to in this video. 🖤🖤
I did too! That's exactly right: her gravity and her eyes made me feel seen and comforted, not intimidated at all.
I felt like crying when Jade unmasked, I just want to give her a hug, honestly you all have been through a lot. You're so brave.
Jade masking as Kya doing the Chloe intro for the first line of the video really speaks to the 5D chess levels of masking. Very insightful video. My respect for Jade, her job and her dedication is neverending. I wish you all the best and send love ❤️
13:50 my jaw dropped. Something in the body’s eyes changed, I don’t know what, but I could really feel that abrupt change and it terrified me, not only because I wasn’t expecting it, but also because it was like looking in a mirror for a moment and the reality of how much I mask slapped me across the face. I’ve recently re-entered a situation where I have to regularly interact with other humans and the constant masking is so incredibly tiring and I now I know why I can’t stop doing it. I don’t feel safe, despite the fact that I know I am, the mask refuses to drop unless I’m alone in a bathroom with my headphones on. Idk where I was going with this comment but damn Jade just gave me a massive wake-up call - one which I cannot be more thankful for.
❤️❤️❤️
I only expected Jade because of the cadence of her voice. Jade's deliberateness with her words lends to a very slow and methodical cadence (which is incredibly intense, yet simultaneously soothing). I felt that cadence a bit in certain parts of the video, but I was never 100% sure that she wasn't Kya! It's incredible, the talents we adapt to protect ourselves. Thank you, Jade, for making such a vulnerable video. Coming from you especially (but also from the system as a whole) this truly feels like an honor.
The cadence stuck out to me too!
'Thank you, Jade, for making such a vulnerable video. Coming from you especially (but also from the system as a whole) this truly feels like an honor.'👆
The beginning of this video is amazing "welcome back to another video about dissociaDID... well yeah but no, anyways!" Also this video is amazing. Masking even extends to people like me on the autism spectrum. I didn't know I was masking until this video. Thank you so much! You all are so amazing kindred souls!!
Like they said even non neurodivergents mask its a very normal thing. Its nice that you recognised it though 👍
@@trehernesimpson4124 Seriously it is amazing how Jade touched base on all the ways an human can mask it feels so nice to just be seen!
Masking is primarily used as an autism term; I’m not sure how I feel about it being used for other disorders? I know there was friction recently about ADHDers using the term
@@mirandaking1618 this is true but masking, to me, is more of an umbrella term for anyone who feels they need to hide a part of themselves that others may not like. If you watch the anime Spy x Family that is a great allegory to masking as all the main characters mask parts of themselves. Granted that is a anime so take this response with a grain of salt lol
@@mirandaking1618 I'm AuDHD and I see no problems with anyone using the term masking if it's fits. It's mainly used for autistics cuz we're traumatized from society and hide who we are or how we feel by masking but that means any other disorder that has been traumatized into not feeling safe about being themselves will also mask. I think it's more a trauma response than an autistic one. We shouldn't gatekeep how people express themselves and the terms they use.
Masking has become a huge part of my life. While I myself don't have DID, I started masking at a very young age as a response to my depression and struggles with PTSD(even though I didn't know it yet, and didn't even know what those meant). I remember thinking something was wrong with me, but I always tried so hard to seem happy, or just generally okay, and I still do. It's nice to know I'm not the only one who struggles with this, even though I wish other people didn't have to. Thank you so much, Jade. The videos you and your system have actually helped me understand both DID and myself so much better. I have so much respect for you all
As someone with a "scary" cluster B personality disorder, I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to unmask, with all the stigma and negativitiy about my disorder being so deeply ingrained in society. I'm not even really sure if I fully know who I am under the mask, which also makes it incredibly difficult. I appreciate you for bringing awareness to this and showing people how some of us have to live our lives.
Much love. ❤
yeah same :(
I believe I have undiagnosed BPD and a dissociation and/or derealization disorder, so masking is a HUGE part of my life. It's gotten to the point where I don't even know where one mask ends and the next one begins.
It's great to know I'm not alone, but I'm sorry that you also have to suffer like this
Not everyone will find this scary. Sending you love and hope u find people u feel safe to be urself around x
I am the same i totally get it. Its super hard and i am still scared to unmask around people i know really well. I noticed in my last talk to my mentor that i was still holding up a facade that i was fine. I also have bpd but also paranoid and schizo personality disorder.
Its hard people seem to automaticaly stigmatise me. So its really hard for me to actually even getting close to people.
I’m sorry you feel you are scary because you have a cluster b. That is something out of your control. It’s only “scary” if you use it to make poor choices. It’s not if you are just trying to be the best person you can be while admitting mistakes. Then you are an amazing example of the disorder not taking control.
"And that's why we filmed this video." Gave me chills
Dealing with peoples disbelief over my chronic pain is awful, I’m constantly masking my pain until it gets so bad that I can’t bare to do it anymore. You’re so brave for showing us and telling us the truth, it’s scary. Mad respect for your system, for surviving and educating. Much love.
this. all of this. me too. idk about your pain but mine doesn't have an underlying cause and when I try to explain that to people they usually come back with "then how can you be in pain?" /disbelief. I also spent my entire high school years (13 til 18) with not just kids who didn't believe me but the ADULTS didn't believe me either - despite the numerous hospital appointments and sick notes from said doctors. and you KNOW that if the teachers don't believe me, I've got 0 chance with the kids. so your comment (and Jade's comment) about masking pain (especially chronic pain) really hit me. so again; this. all of this.
Happy to see Jade back on the channel, I’ve always been so impressed by how raw and strong she is. It was cool of her to put this out there even as someone who seems much more comfortable handling things from behind the scenes rather than being in the spotlight. Thanks for sharing your experience, this was very informative and beautifully done and I hope we get to see more of you on the channel!
Jade, you have such a penetrating gaze. It comes right through the screen. Reading through the comments, you clearly have a lot of people happy to see you in this video. Obviously we all appreciate your role in the system, but I have this sense that when you are fronting as yourself, we all feel instantly sobered but also almost safer ourselves being in your presence. You epitomize strength. You are all beautiful souls. Thank you.
I like this approach and this information, DID is not a mental illness it's a Complex coping mechanism.
I have a very covert crew, they existed for 56 years before i was aware of them. My daughter knew there were "5 mom's" ( each one very different) when she was 8 yrs old, I have had co-workers who had noticed "differences" and mentioned them, but it was not until i had a cluster of trauma's in 2015 that opened the mental gate to their presence and i began to meet them.
Wow, throwback to Chloe's days. Very unsettling, but amazingly done. Great demonstration!
I was thinking that. I was like... It sounds like Chloe more then Kya
We're recently diagnosed and have thought we had this for a while but struggled to be believed. Except we had a neighbour whom we miss dearly who always noticed when we switched even when we were masking. They were ND and just picked up on us switching, sometimes before we had even grasped it. And over time they were even able to tell who we'd switched too sometimes. They were so special to us, first person to make us feel heard, seen and safe. Gave us the confidence to fight for diagnosis that we now have. And even though we're not believed and we want to live authentically, we're still masking daily to keep safe due to the ablism of the supposed "support" around us.
Masking even while at home or with safe people is a mood. Neurodivergence is so exhausting. I was forced to mask so much growing up I am still learning who I am without the mask. Thank you for this, Jade , and the rest of you. Learning to balance safety and owning your truth is so hard.
Me too, I don't know who I am without the mask
Same!
Omg I could tell from the overwhelming sense of calm I got that it was Jade, just by the words and feelings, Jade just gives such a stern but calming mood over all, and I’ve been following since Chloe was host, I am so proud of the whole system!
I know I will never be able to fully understand the experiences of someone with DID but I do know what it feels like to struggle better intellectually knowing I'm safe but emotionally feeling in danger. When your brain can't accept that you're in a safe space even when you're alone in your house. Hardwired emotional responses make you feel really silly, "why am I afraid? I'm safe, I'm so stupid, its fine!" It's hard but sometimes I just have to take a deep breath and let it be how it is. My brain and my body are just trying to protect me, so I hate the way it makes me unable to participate in many societal things, it's hard but you learn to not hate yourself. I wish you guys luck in being your authentic selves in a world that doesn't think it's normal. It's okay to be in a safe environment and not unmask, I think I speak for all of your subscribers when I say we're proud of you for doing what you do. :)
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
We really needed this today. Thank you, Jade. It feels really validating to hear that the constant masking, being blendy 99% of the time, being unsure of... well, most things, is normal and okay. We find that unmasking in general only tends to happen (for us) when we journal. That is our singular true safe place to do so, to be who we are with zero fear of judgment or the constant fear of, "I don't really know who you are," or, "What do you really want?" Because, in all honesty, our answer to those things is usually a muddled mess of "Uhhhh..." with confused noises. So, thank you.
Jade's videos always give me chills. She's so strong and intense, but so caring and smart. She's a force to be reckoned with and I appreciate her so much.
Jade is so good at masking, and has done it for so long, that I feel like I can even see bits of previous hosts in there along with the Kya face. Little bits of Chloe leaking through, ya know? I'm glad your system has such a powerful alter as a protector. Jade is a force of nature, like a hurricane or a tsunami. She has a hard job, but I hope she has peace as well. Idk if I interpret this correctly as a singlet, but I view alters as individual people who deserve peace and happiness just as much as anyone who doesn't have to share a body. Keep being your amazing self Jade, anyone who isn't a fool can see how valuable you are to your system and how seriously you take your job. Much love to the whole system!
The strength in Jade's eyes when she speaks sents shivers down my spine. She's such a strong,brave person. I wish the whole system the absolute best
and how articulate she is! wow
her whole aura just absorbed me
as a highly traumatized person, i have to notice tiny changes in people (for safety). i noticed that kya wasn’t the maker of this video even tho she called herself kya, but i wouldn’t have guessed jade was fronting. i really appreciate this video and all the dissociadid content
when I tell you that when jade stopped masking my stomach dropped- I've been watching this channel for years and I feel that some of the time I can recognize when a new alter has fronted- but this time I was completely caught off guard
This was a very smart way to make a point. Thank you, Jade. It's really great to see you again!
My jaw literally dropped when Jade revealed it was her! It is so sad to think that you guys may have to do it almost everyday just to love normally 😔
Initial thought is Sally...
Ok now I'm seeing Jade's mannerisms/tone a bit
The laughter was throwing me off, I don't think jade has ever laughed on camera she is so sincere
this was such a powerful video. when Jade stopped masking, at first i was in a state of surprise and awe. it really just goes to show how different an alter can be from the “default” mask they put up. seeing that change made me realize how DID is very complex, which i find amazing to learn about through your videos. lots of love to you all!!
even with our host's partner, I can't help but mask because I'm not fully comfortable with them (not any fault of theirs, I simply haven't gotten the chance to get to know them) in reality, I know I'm safe, however it's still hard to let myself, be myself. thank you for making this video and educating not only us but others too. hope you're having a nice day :)
This made me very emotional, i mask a lot when it comes to my mental and physical issues. I don’t have severe disorders but i still say that im fine when im not etc. It took and still takes a lot of time to open up and feel save to talk about myself and my health around people. Thank you for this video, i hope more people see this and know about it.
Wait, this makes so much sense now, we mask around everyone but also sometimes, depending on alter, they don't mask as much, this explains so much, until now we were frustrated about why can't we feel like ourselves around people, i can't stress enough how much this video has helped explain this and calm me down. Thank you so much
I'm so glad it helped! ❤️❤️❤️
I could tell from the beginning "Kya usually has a bit more energy. Which alter is with us right now?" Jade, you did an amazing job with helping to understand what masking is because I was so confused when I read the title. Thank you so much. I have so much respect for you. Thank you for keeping your system safe.
I remember my psychiatrist telling me she couldn't help me if she didn't know what I was actually dealing with. I didn't realize how much I was masking until that moment. Thank you Jade and everyone else for talking about this
I like hearing that she told you that. If it was me, I would feel so relieved and grateful that I could emotion-dump on her, of course if I trusted her. Good wishes to you!
Jade, as a fellow system I want to thank you for this video. We have watched you for a few years now and learned so much as altars and our host. We were diagnosed in our 20s and now almost 50. We can never stop learning and you have been a wonderful way for us to communicate to our host how we feel as well. Bless you and all of your amazing selves. We are all entitled to a voice and you have helped us all ❤ keep up the amazing work you all do
I recently found out I am plural and have Chronic Complex Dissociative Disorders. Your videos were really helpful for me in telling my therapist about my experiences and finally getting the help we need, thank you.
I told my counselor about the channel and they said theyd have a look so they can see where i get my information from
I've never heard of this, I'm gonna do some research!
I felt so seen I got nauseous. Feeling like we're unmasking wrong is a constant worry for us. I had to stop doing my makeup to have a bit of a cry. Thank you. ♡
hard same. i started rocking and shaking and going a bit ... yknow it can be a lot to hear the nice thing if youhavent had it even though it's THE GOOD. [/respectful. if wanted] warmth to you and good luck w the fall out/ emotional care associated.
The only "unnatural kya" thing I saw was the way you interacted with Saraphena it wasn't what I've seen when we know Kya is fronting and she comes in the room while you're filming. I had thought of Jade while watching because I remember her Meet the Alters video and she was very straight to the point and stern with us, but I was unsure of whom else could have been split or formed we don't know of that could have that same demeanor.
Thank you for what you do and the courage and bravery it takes. We love you all.
I agree as well. I also thought the word "host" and a few other words was slightly odd and that was why I knew from the beginning it wasnt Kya. I just.. I just hope people dont think I am just saying it simply but I cant help it that I notice small details. I dont know if it is because I am an empath or just very darn observant!
Same, the interaction with Seraphina is what initially did it for me. We already knew it wasn’t Kya, but I think if it weren’t for the title, little things like that and a few other key things in the video would definitely tip some viewers off who pay attention to certain mannerisms/quirks.
Really enjoying hearing what you guys picked up on that was different or "off"!
Yeah the cat was definitely what gave it away.
@@DissociaDID haha so you can improve next time? 😜
Watching this back after already knowing who is fronting, I can spot super tiny signs that it’s Jade. Her eyes are piercing but in a good way. I’ve heard people say her stare can see your soul, but I also see some emotion. I adore Jade so much and she is most definitely a fan favorite. (I’m coming from your most recent video where Jade fronts and doesn’t understand how much people love her). I didn’t understand that I masked around people even without having DID. My therapist and doctor helped me realize that masking wasn’t just a DID thing and you have explained it to me and helped me be so much more comfortable in my own body sometimes. My default is to mask so that I don’t have to be vulnerable. It took eight years for my partner to fully break down my walls where I wasn’t masking around him still. He’s the one person that I can FULLY be myself around. I want to thank you and everyone else in the system for putting yourself out here; while risking everyone to help others. Thank you for posting and putting yourself out here to help others. While I don’t have DID, I have other mental health issues and you have helped me so much more than you will ever realize. I’m beyond grateful for your channel and your system. Everyone has done such a wonderful job.
Give everyone in your system hugs or love, whatever they are more comfortable with. 🤍
okay so since I'm a longtime subscriber I kind of knew it wasn't Kya who was fronting and depending on how you talked it reminded me a little very little bit of Chloe but I DID NOT expect it to be jade since jade voiced before that she wasn't comfortable filming herself for a yt video. You gave me goosebumps.
You mask so perfectly and after this revelation, it really reflected what you said previously about masking. I hope Dissociadid find someone they truly and wholly feel safe around because masking might be tremendously tiring and maybe sometimes lonely.
Much love for you all, each and every alter.
You inspire me a lot ❤
I see some comments about masking and not having DID and I wanted to add my voice. Though I do not have DID, I completely understand and validate this disorder because of my own disorder. I have generalized anxiety disorder, which means I am anxious over things when I shouldn't be. And I mask that anxiety. I make sure no one knows my inner world is self imploding. I am only one personality in one body and yet I don't want anyone on the outside to know the trauma and chaos going on inside of my mind. It only makes sense that a system would do the same to protect not only themselves but every alter in the system and the body of the system. And unmasking that protection means we are allowed to he ourselves for just a moment. No trauma, no stigma, no pressure. Of course a protector like Jade would know how to protect the system in the outside world. I have to do the same for me and my mental health. The only difference is the outside perspective the system or myself allows you to see. It doesn't change the defense mechanism or the trauma that developed that mechanism. We are all just defending ourselves. So be kind. Everyone you know is battling something you will never see, so don't add to it. Allow yourself to be a space where we can rest and heal. You will never know how much it means to someone when they are allowed to unmask and rest.
Everytime I fall back into that place of believing I’m going insane and am making everything up. I find another dissociaDID video that explains how what I’m going through is normal and a part of this disorder. Thank you @dissociaDID
You're valid and real, it's our pleasure ❤️
It was definitely the title or thumbnail that tuned me in, but I knew that it wasn’t Kya from the start. Because of that I was combing the video looking for little discrepancies, proof of you will. After all maybe it really was Kya and I was being reverse physiologied. Anyway I noticed that their voice was a little higher at times, the way our beloved host spoke in old Chloe and Nin videos. Kya is just a bit more butch and taxed for lack of better words, at least that’s what I’ve observed, maybe I’m seeing and hearing things.
Obviously I adore Jade but I couldn’t remember if she was still in the system, though I figured she must be, and with Kyle and Nin now fuzed into Kya I figured Jade would be the only one to make a vid like this. I hoped it would be here, but by the time she revealed herself I had let the hard down a little and Jade you gave me goosebumps!!
Jade I truly hope that none of this offends or triggers you, I’m not trying to be cocky or say “haha I knew it” or anything stupid like that.
I’m Neurodivergent myself ADHD as the main one, and as a trauma response and safety/masking ability I psychoanalyze people a lot. I watch faces and tones of voice very closely. Since I sometimes struggle with reading a room I’ve overcompensated and the Video’s title and thumbnail made me turn on that radar. I fear being deceived and and fear seeming wrong or incompetent. I wanted to share this little part of my experience because I’m laying in bed, safe, and here I am using a defense mechanism while watching through a screen. Thank you for sharing about masking. We are very very different, and yet I have never felt more seen. So much love to the whole system, and I’m eternally sorry if I used incorrect pronouns at any point in this ramble, I proffered but I’m an idiot when it comes to words so big whoops. 💗💗💗
15:07 i deal with this sm. when Jade said "we see you" i could've cried because we relate to the struggle of unmasking so much. 95% of the time we have no idea who we are & we just feel fuzzy, and even when we do know we're scared we're making it up despite having amnesia and different opinions on things. this video made me feel so valid, thank you so much. and you all look really pretty 💚. -alira
Jade just has a way of holding onto my attention that I don’t understand. I was looking out the window at snow, which usually just zones me out of everything, but I still heard every single word. That’s impressive
I'm tired of this dualism when people tell you to be and love yourself and at the same time, when you open up, they say that it's wrong or it's "too much" or that you're begging for attention. But thank you for opening up to us and doing this video! I've learnt a lot today from you and I'm waiting to learn more ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ !
Yeah... Recently been dealing with that. It's hard but I'm trying to accept that they have emotional needs that just can't "handle" the real me...
My heart jolted when Jade revealed that is was her fronting the entire time. Like that change in expression and everything just gave me a sense of my world turning on its head since I wasn't expecting it. Jade you mask so well and did what you do best. Protect.
tw suicide mention
I had a friend who was the host of a system, she had DID and was aware of it but was undiagnosed despite being in and out of psychiatric wards for most of her life. It would have been 100% impossible to tell her alters apart from her without knowing she was part of a system, and even after I knew the differences were very subtle. I was only able to identify an alter once and that was because she was openly suicidal and my friend warned me about one of the alters being suicidal. Back then I felt bad that the other alters didn't feel comfortable being themselves around me, but as I got older, I realized that I also hadn't been fully myself with them. I'm autistic and have been masking basically my entire life, even around my close friends and family. My sibling is the only person I unmask around easily. Having that experience made me realize that it's not about trust or familiarity, it's about how safe you felt in the moment, and school (where I saw my friend most often) wasn't a safe place to unmask.
I don't think people realize how hard it is to unmask.
Oh wow! Jade has such an intense stare, I feel like watching it back it slipped in some bits but holy shit I had no idea on the first time watch. Jade, you are doing your job so amazingly and your system is lucky to have you. Thank you for protecting everyone and thank you for this video 💖. Hope all of you are safe and as happy as you can be, and that life shines on you more and more. Much love!
Jade is incredible! She's the last alter I expected to be fronting because there was such a lack of eye contact with the camera at the beginning and Jade always has such piercing, intense, and focused eye contact.
You are wonderful Jade, thank you for being comfortable enough with us to unmask.
Wishing you and the rest of the system, peace and happiness today ✨️
I don't have DID but this video almost made me cry because it feels like someone has put into words something I feel all the time. I'm autistic and mask all day everyday. I really am trying to learn to unmask. My friends are so so supportive and know I'm autistic but I still struggle to unmask around them because I was never allowed to be myself before without punishment or ridicule. This video means so much to me. Thank you Jade for filming and thank you to the rest of the system for just being yourselves when you can. ❤️❤️
The slight details like the beginning not telling you which alter was speaking was an indication of this being another alter masking. Jade is so powerful when she removes the mask & I cannot thank you enough for showing us this sort of thing that we wouldn’t know about without this video
i really thought it was Kya!! this is such an interesting video, and hello Jade! it’s very good to see you again.
Thank you for protecting more than just YOUR system, Jade 😘💙
You're so appreciated 🥰
I have masked myself for so long during my childhood and I still do this as an adult. It is exhausting doing it for so long. The things that are going on inside is not revealed to other people. Like you said, unmasking in front of others is not an easy task. Thanks Jade for this great video. It's always a pleasure to see you. :)
We are in the process of getting a diagnosis and everything you said is so relatable. Thank you for giving us some validation; we really needed that.
I love that you bring up masking even when home and/or in a safe space. There are times where I'll be completely alone and forcing myself to hold in fidgety moments and watching my facial expressions and tone (when speaking to my cat or myself) and then be like "...?? Nobody is here why am I doing this?" And relax a bit.. .still before I know it I'm back to masking ^.^;
I expected this to relate to me as someone who couldn't explain why they didn't act the way they wanted to for years (autistic-spectrum related) but it ended up hitting way closer to home as a trans individual. Thank you for this, Jade. I learned something about myself as well as about did
I have autism but I only found out last year. The masking is definitely different than DID masking, but I relate to several things from this video. I still mask when I'm by myself most of the time. I don't even know who my unmasked self is. I'm trying to learn who that is, but it's a very slow process and it's so hard! Thank you so much for this video, Jade. So important and validating.
I only found you all within the last few days and I can already tell you're all wonderful. The first I saw of you was your interview with Anthony Padilla and it was so well done. Keep up the great work.
I havent even finished the video yet, but i needed to mention that I audibly gasped when Jade introduced herself. I have always loved jades presense in these videos and from the moment this video started I felt soooo drawn into a sense of protection, and just truly saying the words I need to hear.
I have severe ptsd amongst many other diagnoses, and was rearended in June leaving me with a concussion and many physical injuries.
My message may seem rather disjointed, and for that I apologize. But I wanted to truly Thank you Jade, for giving me words that I can show others to express how I've been experiencing the world these last few months.
You are doing a remarkable job in vocalizing your role in your system and allowing the public to view how difficult And how powerful masking and unmasking can impact a person's daily life.
Thank you for your message, and I thank your whole system for creating a space where I can see the words "you are safe" while I am receiving the message you give us today. Immaculate. Brilliant.
And thank you for your trust, as well. It means everything.
Thank you 💖✨️
This video and your diagnosis video really helped me. I'm only early in my journeys of discovering being a system. And I had a lot of activity but recently its been no alter activity other than dissociation
Masking is such a big thing without people even knowing it! I know I present a different version of myself in front of people as a safety mechanic, even if its with my closest friends, and it took me forever to realise that I was masking and I'm still breaking down this mask years after knowing its there
Thanks so much Jade and the whole system sending love to y'all and anyone watching or reading here 💞💝🌸🌺💖
This is the most compelling video I think I’ve ever watched. Thank you for sharing.
Jade, thank you so much for this video. I have a friend and while we aren’t very close, they did disclose to me that they have DID. Over the years I have never been able to tell if/when they had switched outside of a specific discord mod we use and after watching this I know understand that they are most likely masking. While I don’t think this will change much about our current dynamic im thankful that you have educated me so that I can work to be a more respectful ally to them and to anyone with DID I may meet in the future. Thank you Jade and the rest of disociadid for all of the educational content you provide!
Ello Jade
This really helped us a lot this week we have distracted through our the whole month or so now. Our partner tries his best to understand us, but I /we barely understand any of this. Hope you are well. We were feeling your vibe through out, I'm glad and hope you are well.
I wish everyone could understand this.
Love from our Llama system ☺️💜
Thank you for all you do for your system and all of ours ❤️💜
I love how Jade slipped a little when Seraphina came into frame, if I didn't know beforehand that Jade made this video I wouldn't have noticed
Glad to see you all looking well! Love to all of you and happy to see you back. Thank you all 💙
I was quite surprised I actually managed to guess correctly! If I hadn't known it wasn't Kya from the start I wouldn't have noticed at all.
At first I thought it might have been Sally due to the way Jade spoke to Seraphina (hope I'm spelling that right) but as the video went on I could hear Jade's intonation just a little here and there (I find she speaks very eloquently and pronounces words in a deliberate manner if that makes sense). But it was such a tiny detail I assumed I was wrong. Thank you for making this video Jade, it was nice to see you! We appreciate the hard work you do, even if we don't know what exactly it entails.
Throughout the video i caught the vibe of "Hm, the structure is a bit different" and then Jade introduced herself. Masking is sad but necessary to keep you guys safe
"this isn't a good representation because it doesn't fit my expectations" I think is more... To the heart of it. Thanks for sharing this video, we really needed it. We'd been watching your content for so long. We never understood why it resonated with us so much but I thought. Idk what I thought. But now I'm seeing a DID specialist. I still convince myself I am none of that, none of this. It is hard.