Imposter syndrome is a real and tough. Even though she’s a successful and popular Vtuber for the largest vtubing company in the world. She will always believe that her success isn’t earned, that all kindness shown is business formalities, etc etc.
Also there was the foot-in-mouth over Sally during the Girls' Talk a few months back. Probably left an awkward aftertaste and given I've seen much more self-assured people endlessly flagellate themselves over far lesser gaffes it's only too easy to see how Kiara's inner demons could've spun that into "she totally hates me now"...
@@DinnerForkTongue "Putting your foot in your mouth" is a figure of speech for thoughtlessly blurting out something inappropriate if not offensive. In this case Wawa made an offhand joke about "stealing away" Sally, who for the benefit of those new to Blue Clock Woman is Kronii's IRL BFF since childhood. _Unfortunately_ Kronii is SRS FKN BZNS degrees of extremely protective of her (as in I'm pretty sure she was only half joking when she said she'd _kill and die_ for her) and took that, uh, not very well. Kind of eerily impressive how much sudden anger she projected through her model for a second despite being completely silent, really.
@@broadbandislife I know that it's a figure of speech and what it means. I just wanted to know what specific incident you were referring to. Thanks for pointing it out. Yeap, that was irrational anger at play. I don't doubt Kiara picked up on it, either on the spot or from having it relentlessly rubbed in her nose by comments or tweets.
A lot of newer fans don't realize how heavily hated she was among certain circles when Myth debuted. She was painfully aware of that, acknowledging it on stream in ways of varying subtlety. She also has really bad experiences with these same online sewers in her PL, which certainly contributes to this as well. =(
you're right they have good chemistry, but kiara has bad self-esteem at times. Not helped that a lot of the Holos are shy and don't want to be a bother to each other.
Indeed - but it's very easy to convince fans that you're two friends, when it's just a professional relationship. And when you're colabing thousands of miles away, through an avatar, it's very easy to hide negative body language. So if you have Imposter Syndrome like Kiara does (she STILL seems to feel she doesn't deserve to be in Hololive) it's very, very easy to get a strange signal from Kronii (and she gives a LOT of strange signals; I'd bet she's hard to read even in person) and immediately think the absolute worst. "She hates me, but she's so professional that she won't let that get in the way of either of our career's but she hates me oh my god she hates me." And virtually nothing will convince you otherwise.
@@Earliersphere could be a cultural thing too. Maybe in Austria, people are more open about their feelings, while asians (Kronii is asian Canadian) are more reserved and don't express their feelings as well. So when Kiara doesn't receive open love, she thinks people hate her. 😂
@@bipolar-tiger Culture might be a part of it, but prolly not the main reason. I used to have the same brain worm, that Wawa is talking about (they sound similar, at least), and I used to think that EVERYONE around me either disliked me, or merely tolerated my presence. Even when they made it abundantly, and unequivocally clear, that they liked and appreciated me. It really screws with your perception of reality in a way that is hard to explain. You just KNOW that they dislike you, and any evidence to the contrary is just them being polite, or taking pity. It's a disease. Something in your brain just isn't working how it's supposed to.
Kronii can be pretty deadpan/ironic at times (a charm point imo). Kiara has said before that she has trouble reading her sometimes through their voice-chat interactions. I think meeting in person made all the difference.
@@Bam_Bizzlernot really, they can opt out of performing if they really wanted to. Ayame and Choco both did in the past. Must give a really good reason to do it though.
More like bit sad, particularly in the case of someone like Kiara who's constantly tormented by self-doubts. And they're two _entirely_ different kinds of interactions anyway; concerts are large-scale organised company events and insofar personal relationships go the only requirement is tolerating each other enough to be able to work together. Personal collabs are far more _personal_ from the get go and duly subject to all the usual hurdles of interpersonal contact. For example Kronii herself has said she finds it awkward to propose collabs to others, in the "I don't want to be a bother" version, and is much more comfortable letting others take the initiative. (And she's at the less introverted end of the roster.) So in that respect already her floating the suggestion is Kind Of A Big Deal. Likely doubly so for Kiara who is nigh certainly still kicking herself over the gaffe about Sally during the Girls' Talk some months back (I've seen much more self-confident people torment themselves over lesser things IRL), which her brainworms have likely spun into "she totally hates me now" - not sure if they're collabed after that time either (larger group stuff aside) which if true would only have fed into the impression. No idea if Kronii saw it as such or even much thinks about the incident in the first place (and should she then if anything she's probably just herself embarrassed of knee-jerk overreacting to innocent banter) but for Kiara this suggestion may well amount to a greatly relieving extension of the proverbial olive branch.
Kind of like the time she had to specifically assure IRyS she was genuinely complimenting her and not being sarcastic (though tbf IIRC the context made it very easy to assume so), a combination of dry and snarky sense of humour with difficult to read deadpan affect can do that I guess. She's also described herself as actually something of an introvert who feels awkward proposing collabs to others (in the "am I being a bother" over-thinking way) and thus prefers letting others take the initiative in such matters. Only too easy to see how that'd interact rather unfortunately with the kinds of self-doubts Kiwawa is frequently tormented by.
Most of EN are introverted and have said at least once they are bad at communicating or taking initiative, as you say they don't want to be a bother plus they know Kiara is busy with stuff so that compounds the lack of action. than Kiara's timezone isolation, it's easy to see why her doubts get the better of her, let a lone the Anti's saying shit that her self doubt agrees with.
after 4 years of EN I wouldn't expect this level of tee tee to still be possible, especially since they've been meeting IRL a bit more frequently for events. this is the good stuff.
She is a total sweetheart that underestimates how much she has done for the EN and EU community. She’s put in so much work and brought thousands together.
yeah at some point, she was even considering to graduate cuz a ton of sh*t happened which caused a lot of stress in the first half year (forgot which year) but luckily the 2nd half got better, especially when her wish finally got true to become an oshi in hololive when nerissa appeared, also ollie started to realise that wawa became her oshi as well and started to support her so much where wawa appreciated that so much that she thanked her on the last EN concert and made her cry on stream, it was very wholesome
@@7shinta7 yeah and wawa supports her a lot as well, caring for her when she got really down on a stream once and wawa joined her stream in a call and cheered her up, I just love them
It was 2023 the whole year seemed rough on most of EN. Nerissa joining an being so openly supportive of Wawa did her a lot of good. Both Kiara and Ollie were thinking of graduation last year. Considering how rough 2024 has been I'm glad we didn't see them leave on top of all the others.
@@Earliersphere oh yeah now wawa and ollie support eachother even more nowadays since they shared the same thought of graduation and had similar feelings, rly great for us and her friends that they stayed
Man, Kiara's personality sure is interesting. One one hand, sometimes she has serial killer level of confidence like that one time she told chat that she came up to a random girl just to tell her she like her fashion. On the other hand, situations like this.
IIRC she's described herself as an introvert who's basically learned to "fake it" convincingly, though that's probably not directly related to the self-doubts dogging her.
I feel like Kronii underestimates her impact a lot and paired with Wawa's delusions and self-deprecation it was only a matter of time before this kind of hijinks occured
It's more that Kronii's rather deadpan manner and dry, sarcastic sense of humour can make her pretty difficult to "read" (Kiara has specifically noted as much in the past) and in her own words she's bit of an introvert who feels awkward proactively approaching people. Not hard to see how that could result in an aloof impression that plays havoc with Kiara's brainworms.
@@7shinta7 Also Kiara was likely worrying she might've irreparably damaged their relationship in the unfortunate Sally joke incident some months back - it was the kind of gaffe even people with far healthier self-esteems absolutely would kick themselves over for a long time. Her inner demons probably had a field day with it.
@@broadbandislife A more recent gaff was in the off-collab they had in Japan, IRyS was complementing Kronii's IRL looks and Kiara made a joke about Kroniis model, here was a moment of confusion before Kronii got the joke wasn't about her IRL self. She deflected by complimenting Kiara, but I saw multiple comments on the VOD of people jumping on Kiara being rude. I'm sure that just added to the worms acting up that Kronii doesn't like her and she ruined a chance.
Kiara really needs to understand that people don't secretly hate her. She's seriously talented, hardworking, and does a lot for the whole of Hololive. I love her honesty and have a huge amount of respect for her even though I'm not a regular.
I mean it's the Internets, no shortage of people who _openly_ hate her for any variety of BS reasons and will enthusiastically tell her as much on social media and whatnot. You occasionally run into some pretty toxic comments under these clips too. Also as you may know she recently had a pretty harrowing experience IRL in her other life and is doubtless still pretty shaken over it. In this particular case tho I suspect it's primarily the always slightly awkward communication between the two of them - Kiara has explicitly said she finds Kronii difficult to "read", especially when they aren't interacting face to face (what with the habitual monotone and general deadpan affect), which ought to be particularly troubling to an insecure introvert like her who's probably constantly trying to gauge others' moods and reactions. And then there was that incident some months back during Girls' Talk when Wawa blundered onto one of Kronii's few actual triggers with an offhand joke about Sally, which ought to have left everyone involved with a pretty awkward aftertaste. No idea if Kronii even thinks much of the whole thing (and if she does she's probably just embarrassed of her own behaviour) but I'll eat my hat if Kiara isn't still kicking herself over it - and given AFAIK they haven't collabed much since then her brainworms have near certainly spun that into "she totally hates me now"... Kronii herself self-reports as introverted enough to feel uncomfortable approaching others for collabs which can't have helped the dynamic there one bit, though it does add significance to her floating the offer.
@@broadbandislife a more recent one would be the Offcollab in Japan Kronii, IRyS and Raora had. IRyS was commenting on Kronii's IRL figure and Kiara made a joke about Kronii's model. There was a awkward pause before Kronii realized she was mistaking the comment and deflected her offence into complimenting Kiara. There were a number of comments on Kiara's channel being offended on Kronii's behalf, so Kiara saw those plus what you've talked about and the fact Kronii doesn't communicate to others much. In general Kiara feels forgotten by the others when not in the same physical area AKA Japan, that's mostly down to the EN's just being terrible at communicating. Though that really doesn't help her brain worms twisting it. In some ways it can feel worse dealing with indifference or feeling like being taken for granted than knowing someone doesn't like you. Coming back here now after Ame left, how many EN's had on stream break downs over their regrets of taking Ame being in the company for granted. That they missed out on doing things? That's part of why Kiara's emotional reaction was so strong, as she knows they will talk less and they were barely talking while Ame was still in hololive. Other members respect Kiara as she is part of Myth and does a lot BTS for the branch, but they take for granted that she will always be around. They have shyness of not wanting to be a bother, and are letting contentment steal time and opportunities to do thing before the next person graduate's. Kiara only has a few more goal's she want's to do in hololive, after she achieves those she'll likely leave.
She's likely also still kicking herself over the Sally thing during the Girls' Talk some months ago, that one ought to have left an awkward aftertaste. And I think her and Kronii haven't really collabed much since then either...? Given the degree to which decidedly more self-assured people can torment themselves over much lesser gaffes (that in some cases are seriously ancient history) it's only too easy to see how her inner demons might start whispering "she totally hates you now"... Assuming my Kitchen Psych 101 speculation here has any truth to it then from Kiara's perspective Kronii floating the suggestion probably amounts to an offer of the proverbial olive branch - if so no wonder she got rather emotional.
The duality of being close enough to give Kronii a unique nickname but also anxious enough to worry if her feelings are reciprocated. Man I love this birb. 😂 But seriously, it's just a matter of directness. She's easily the most direct communicator in EN, so if things aren't communicated just as directly to her, it'd give those nasty brain worms some wiggle room.
To be fair, just because they're in hololive doesn't mean they have to like each other. Like if you work at a decently sized place, you don't expect everyone to like you.
Imposter Syndrome and Anxiety does not discriminate. It happens to all sorts of people in all sorts of places. And Hololive, while seeming to be a good workplace all around, seems to have a much more corporate vibe than most other agencies combined with its size, so its probably better even among the talents to assume the standard rule with coworkers that while they may be friendly and are not backstabbers or bullies like in Nijisanji, they are not inherently your friend until proven otherwise.
@@skrubknight884 I believe Towa and a couple of JP members have straight up said they aren't friends with others, but that they don't hate anyone it's just work. Which is at least an honest answer. I worry for Calli as she keeps trying to act like everyone is friends but there are over 100 holo members now, that's just not reality.
She still gets a lot of open hate on twitter and even on clips comment sections. that combo with her own negative esteem is a bad pairing. least year(2023) was really bad for her before Nerissa joined.
in lore, time and death do have something on immortals, its more towards "this is unnatural and not in my job scope what should i do?" rather than hate
Isn't this like the 2nd or 3rd time Kiara has thought something like this with other members? This isn't an attack, but it's kind of sad she feels this way at times.
Mmm more than 2 or 3 times. It is a very common thing since her debut, she has self-esteem problems. KPF fights against those intrusive thoughts of her everyday o7
a lot of it is other EN's are shy to the point of not reaching out, plus time zone de-buff or they know she's busy with projects and don't want to bother. Even her and Calli have been bad about messaging each other cause they don't want to be a bother. I remember chat spamming both that they need to actually message each other as they on screen clearly wanted to but wouldn't send a message.
I cannot imagine being in a position where millions of people like me and feel like no one likes me, when I have like no friends and no one ever talks to me and I think everyday about how no one likes or cares about me.
chat is just impersonal numbers on a stat sheet. We aren't real out side meet and greats, Human brains aren't wired to understand influencing number this big. one of the things I like about Kiara is she saves photos of KFP's with user names so she can keep the fact we are actually real a present thing in her mind.
I can get where those "brain worms" are coming from the last year plus has been really hard on kiara in a lot of ways, Myth mostly being MIA in 2023 from burn out, life and projects. the other ENs being busy or not wanting to bother her while she was grinding away on projects and her album. She felt Isolated and at times forgotten by the others, so not really a surprise the "brain worms" feeding on those thoughts and her self doubt. Plus she's always had a hard time gaging Kronii. I really hope the gals work on talking and doing things together more, not just leaving things to when they are convenient.
Kiara's inferiority complex is wild even after coming this far! Being one of the actual EN og's. Gurl needs to build up her confidence and not put herself down! She's done soo many wonderful things within and out of Hololive.
Yeah her talk show with JP should continue, calli and herself are the bridge that's needed for JP, EN, and ID to really get to know one another without being too intrusive to a point. She needs to understand that, and her impact on Hololive as a whole. As little as I've seen her, I like her.
You know i feel like most of Myth feel like this lol. Calli seems to have gotten better, Kiara still has it, Ame and Gura seem to be more distant from the rest of EN. Gura in particular seems to want to interact but seems to pull back quite fast. Ina is hmmm not sure for Ina honestly.
Is this a story about like, “My secret crush asked me out on a date” kind of thing? I thought they had a significant relationship over the years beyond business? Wait, that was Mori or something.
It's more that - both are kind of introverted - Kronii's deadpan manner and dry sarcastic humour can make her quite hard to "read" - Kiara is plagued by severe and persistent self-esteem issues ...kinda adds up to it being only too easy for Wawa to start second-guessing when her self-doubts are acting up. Probably not currently helped _at all_ by being kinda rattled from some bad stuff that recently happened in her other life.
@@sutor9529 Stuff she does _outside_ her primary job under Cover Corp as "Takanashi Kiara". On the same vein when people talk about a Vtuber's "past life/lives" they're referring to what they did previously under different personas. That kind of stuff tends to get jokingly called "forbidden knowledge" because in principle it's supposed to be secret to some degree; in practice it's usually a very _open_ secret indeed.
I'm not 100% sure if Kiara is an extrovert, but as an extrovert with severe social anxiety I always worry I'm not good enough for my friends or that I'm annoying them at least moreso when I was growing up, I still have it now, but it's more managed. Also imposter syndrome is so real, Kiara's comes off really energetic while Kronii feels more laid-back with her moments that are outlandish, but I feel like those two types of personalities get along the best usually! That's how me and my best friend are, she's really not super expressive, but she always tells me such sweet things or does smth really nice for me. I'm assuming Kronii's the type of person who shows her appreciation and love for people through her actions according to how Kiara and other people have described her (:
Damn who broke her that you have everytime the feeling thqt nobody likes you really and everything would be Business related. Dont misunderstand, thats a genuine question. You wont be like this per default, its something that becomes part of you by experience 😅
Wawa parses as someone who carries a lot of emotional baggage and poorly healed old wounds. 😟 Though in this specific case she was probably worrying she might have alienated Kronii for good in the unfortunate Sally joke incident some months back. (That they IIRC haven't had personal collabs since then can't have helped.) That one had to have left everyone involved with an awkward aftertaste and given how people with decidedly healthier self-esteems can torment themselves over much lesser gaffes it's probably a safe bet Kiara's inner demons have been whispering her some dark things about it.
Never lived in Japan but been part of an association in my uni back in the day to help south east Asian to feel included and navigate around university in France back in the day and work with Japanese because of it and had to take care of Japanese students too. It's hard to explain but . . . You may think that you are pretty close friend with a Japanese but realizing one day that it was just that person way to get a positive response from you, it was just to have positive work environment not really friendships which can hurt a lot when you approach people with an open heart. With time you manage to understand what is a positive work attitude or a way to milk advantage out you and real tokens of affection from a Japanese. But a lot of students who went alone in Japan came back with psychological scars because of that. Not saying that all Japanese are this way of course and I don't say that's what happened to Kiara. But that permanent questioning about how people really think about you is something that I often saw from people who jumped alone in Japan at a very young age without being prepared for that specificity of Japan style relationship. Keep in mind that we're talking about french students here so I let you imagine how destructive that thing can be 😅
@@Tiavals She's talked of having rather harsh bullying growing up, and than has had Anti's since being 15 when she became an underground Idol in Japan and online ones when she became a content creator and cosplayer. I's say that's enough of her childhood to have cause Psychological harm.
HoloLive having so many talents who are so busy all the time probably creates so many misunderstandings. Like how do you find the time to collab with more than a handful of your fellow Idols in the span of a month?
Its not the first time she addresses this "everybody hates me" mentality I'm gladly shes getting over it it seems She said the first time when all En got 1mil subs and she was the only one behind After that and some other smalls talks I started to see a really concerning pattern but she looks better now
Overall she’s much better now. She’s been improving herself since the day she joined hololive but every once in a while she will have these moments where her brain worms get to her. She’s done much better though like I said and the New York trip overall has given her lots of amazing memories and deepened her bonds with many members
It's very funny that Kronii was designed by the same artist that did Nero in Fate: while Nero likes presents herself as this really cool person but is actually a huge dork, Kronii likes to present herself as a huge dork but everybody who's met her agrees that she's actually incredibly cool.
@@Anteo4ever I will take losing remote jobs, even my own, for this fake economy to finally come crashing down if that means people go outside and I don't have to see comments like this anymore
Raora's dad knocked on her door during her first hololive interview
clip: ruclips.net/video/IExzOKR1hqU/видео.html
She's so sweet and talented. But she suffers from self-esteem issues. I hope the best for Kiawa
thats why its on us to be there to support her when shes feeling down.
Not really this seems normal! Only hyper autists like me have infinite confidence!
She seems to have a healthy level of confidence and scepticism
@@ThefrozenarrowAnd Rissa And the Jailbird KFP's. 😊
Indeed , must save her at all costs.
MANN I LOVE KIARA
Imposter syndrome is a real and tough. Even though she’s a successful and popular Vtuber for the largest vtubing company in the world. She will always believe that her success isn’t earned, that all kindness shown is business formalities, etc etc.
Well, to her defense, Kronii does give a sassy aura "ew you like me?" That, of course, mixed with Kira's impostor syndrome she would believe that.
Resting Bitch Demeanor
Also there was the foot-in-mouth over Sally during the Girls' Talk a few months back. Probably left an awkward aftertaste and given I've seen much more self-assured people endlessly flagellate themselves over far lesser gaffes it's only too easy to see how Kiara's inner demons could've spun that into "she totally hates me now"...
@@broadbandislife What foot-in-mouth?
@@DinnerForkTongue "Putting your foot in your mouth" is a figure of speech for thoughtlessly blurting out something inappropriate if not offensive.
In this case Wawa made an offhand joke about "stealing away" Sally, who for the benefit of those new to Blue Clock Woman is Kronii's IRL BFF since childhood. _Unfortunately_ Kronii is SRS FKN BZNS degrees of extremely protective of her (as in I'm pretty sure she was only half joking when she said she'd _kill and die_ for her) and took that, uh, not very well. Kind of eerily impressive how much sudden anger she projected through her model for a second despite being completely silent, really.
@@broadbandislife I know that it's a figure of speech and what it means. I just wanted to know what specific incident you were referring to. Thanks for pointing it out.
Yeap, that was irrational anger at play. I don't doubt Kiara picked up on it, either on the spot or from having it relentlessly rubbed in her nose by comments or tweets.
I dont know that much about Kiara but I feel like she is the type of person who thinks that no one likes her
Self esteem problems can be a bitch sometimes
Literally me frfr
most relatable
A lot of newer fans don't realize how heavily hated she was among certain circles when Myth debuted. She was painfully aware of that, acknowledging it on stream in ways of varying subtlety. She also has really bad experiences with these same online sewers in her PL, which certainly contributes to this as well. =(
@@joshthefunkdoc no asked about 4chan feelings about Kiara nor about what goes on in her "PL"
That "What do you mean!?" is just so Kronii to says. LOL
I hear it it her voice even 😅
Through Kiara and Kronii's past interactions I always thought Kronii was quite fond of Kiara myself
you're right they have good chemistry, but kiara has bad self-esteem at times. Not helped that a lot of the Holos are shy and don't want to be a bother to each other.
Indeed - but it's very easy to convince fans that you're two friends, when it's just a professional relationship. And when you're colabing thousands of miles away, through an avatar, it's very easy to hide negative body language.
So if you have Imposter Syndrome like Kiara does (she STILL seems to feel she doesn't deserve to be in Hololive) it's very, very easy to get a strange signal from Kronii (and she gives a LOT of strange signals; I'd bet she's hard to read even in person) and immediately think the absolute worst. "She hates me, but she's so professional that she won't let that get in the way of either of our career's but she hates me oh my god she hates me." And virtually nothing will convince you otherwise.
@@Earliersphere could be a cultural thing too. Maybe in Austria, people are more open about their feelings, while asians (Kronii is asian Canadian) are more reserved and don't express their feelings as well.
So when Kiara doesn't receive open love, she thinks people hate her. 😂
@@bipolar-tiger Culture might be a part of it, but prolly not the main reason.
I used to have the same brain worm, that Wawa is talking about (they sound similar, at least), and I used to think that EVERYONE around me either disliked me, or merely tolerated my presence.
Even when they made it abundantly, and unequivocally clear, that they liked and appreciated me.
It really screws with your perception of reality in a way that is hard to explain. You just KNOW that they dislike you, and any evidence to the contrary is just them being polite, or taking pity.
It's a disease. Something in your brain just isn't working how it's supposed to.
Kronii can be pretty deadpan/ironic at times (a charm point imo). Kiara has said before that she has trouble reading her sometimes through their voice-chat interactions. I think meeting in person made all the difference.
The dichotomy of doing concerts together and the pressure of asking each other if they want to play video games is hilarious
Tbf one is company required
@@Bam_Bizzlernot really, they can opt out of performing if they really wanted to. Ayame and Choco both did in the past. Must give a really good reason to do it though.
@@CrowitzerTheHoloFanYes, they can opt for potentially career suicide.
@@CrowitzerTheHoloFan I seriously doubt you can opt out from something like this lol.
More like bit sad, particularly in the case of someone like Kiara who's constantly tormented by self-doubts. And they're two _entirely_ different kinds of interactions anyway; concerts are large-scale organised company events and insofar personal relationships go the only requirement is tolerating each other enough to be able to work together.
Personal collabs are far more _personal_ from the get go and duly subject to all the usual hurdles of interpersonal contact. For example Kronii herself has said she finds it awkward to propose collabs to others, in the "I don't want to be a bother" version, and is much more comfortable letting others take the initiative. (And she's at the less introverted end of the roster.)
So in that respect already her floating the suggestion is Kind Of A Big Deal.
Likely doubly so for Kiara who is nigh certainly still kicking herself over the gaffe about Sally during the Girls' Talk some months back (I've seen much more self-confident people torment themselves over lesser things IRL), which her brainworms have likely spun into "she totally hates me now" - not sure if they're collabed after that time either (larger group stuff aside) which if true would only have fed into the impression. No idea if Kronii saw it as such or even much thinks about the incident in the first place (and should she then if anything she's probably just herself embarrassed of knee-jerk overreacting to innocent banter) but for Kiara this suggestion may well amount to a greatly relieving extension of the proverbial olive branch.
To be fair, Kronii does just naturally exude that sardonic , ojou-sama villainess, "the worst thing she can say is no; ew" charisma.
Kind of like the time she had to specifically assure IRyS she was genuinely complimenting her and not being sarcastic (though tbf IIRC the context made it very easy to assume so), a combination of dry and snarky sense of humour with difficult to read deadpan affect can do that I guess.
She's also described herself as actually something of an introvert who feels awkward proposing collabs to others (in the "am I being a bother" over-thinking way) and thus prefers letting others take the initiative in such matters. Only too easy to see how that'd interact rather unfortunately with the kinds of self-doubts Kiwawa is frequently tormented by.
Most of EN are introverted and have said at least once they are bad at communicating or taking initiative, as you say they don't want to be a bother plus they know Kiara is busy with stuff so that compounds the lack of action. than Kiara's timezone isolation, it's easy to see why her doubts get the better of her, let a lone the Anti's saying shit that her self doubt agrees with.
after 4 years of EN I wouldn't expect this level of tee tee to still be possible, especially since they've been meeting IRL a bit more frequently for events. this is the good stuff.
with how comfortable she is, one sometimes forget kiara has serious self-esteem issues, cute phoenix deserves the best
She is a total sweetheart that underestimates how much she has done for the EN and EU community. She’s put in so much work and brought thousands together.
3:07 that edit caught me off guard lol 😂
yeah at some point, she was even considering to graduate cuz a ton of sh*t happened which caused a lot of stress in the first half year (forgot which year) but luckily the 2nd half got better, especially when her wish finally got true to become an oshi in hololive when nerissa appeared, also ollie started to realise that wawa became her oshi as well and started to support her so much where wawa appreciated that so much that she thanked her on the last EN concert and made her cry on stream, it was very wholesome
Ollie bawling her eyes out because of Kiara mentioning her in her MC section was so wholesome.
The Fenix and the cute Zombie deserve all the love!
@@7shinta7 yeah and wawa supports her a lot as well, caring for her when she got really down on a stream once and wawa joined her stream in a call and cheered her up, I just love them
@@VNRG1993
Yeah, I remember that. That was so sweet.
Ollie is precious, and Wawa too.
It was 2023 the whole year seemed rough on most of EN. Nerissa joining an being so openly supportive of Wawa did her a lot of good. Both Kiara and Ollie were thinking of graduation last year. Considering how rough 2024 has been I'm glad we didn't see them leave on top of all the others.
@@Earliersphere oh yeah now wawa and ollie support eachother even more nowadays since they shared the same thought of graduation and had similar feelings, rly great for us and her friends that they stayed
"My brainworms tell me that everybody hates me" FELT 😔
I feel like everyone's relationships deepened on this long trip to America. They need to come back soon!
Kiwawa: *self esteem issues*
just like me fr
Man, Kiara's personality sure is interesting. One one hand, sometimes she has serial killer level of confidence like that one time she told chat that she came up to a random girl just to tell her she like her fashion. On the other hand, situations like this.
IIRC she's described herself as an introvert who's basically learned to "fake it" convincingly, though that's probably not directly related to the self-doubts dogging her.
Serial killer level of confidence 😭
As much as this is some cute crybaby Kiwawa stuff, use it as a reminder to tell your loved ones that you appreciate them.
Including your oshis. You don't know when a Mel situation might happen again.
@@DinnerForkTongue True. These girls work super hard and could use more genuine positivity and support.
She has that Aqua's "she must love me so much" moments lol See you later, Aqua 🥲
o7
Ateshi sukisugi~
🥲
It always felt like Kiara has an insanely huge crush on Kronii, so it makes it difficult for her to approach her.
* Virtual hugs Kiwawa *
I feel like Kronii underestimates her impact a lot and paired with Wawa's delusions and self-deprecation it was only a matter of time before this kind of hijinks occured
It's more that Kronii's rather deadpan manner and dry, sarcastic sense of humour can make her pretty difficult to "read" (Kiara has specifically noted as much in the past) and in her own words she's bit of an introvert who feels awkward proactively approaching people. Not hard to see how that could result in an aloof impression that plays havoc with Kiara's brainworms.
@@broadbandislife
This!
Quite accurate summary.
@@7shinta7 Also Kiara was likely worrying she might've irreparably damaged their relationship in the unfortunate Sally joke incident some months back - it was the kind of gaffe even people with far healthier self-esteems absolutely would kick themselves over for a long time. Her inner demons probably had a field day with it.
@@broadbandislife A more recent gaff was in the off-collab they had in Japan, IRyS was complementing Kronii's IRL looks and Kiara made a joke about Kroniis model, here was a moment of confusion before Kronii got the joke wasn't about her IRL self. She deflected by complimenting Kiara, but I saw multiple comments on the VOD of people jumping on Kiara being rude. I'm sure that just added to the worms acting up that Kronii doesn't like her and she ruined a chance.
Kiara really needs to understand that people don't secretly hate her. She's seriously talented, hardworking, and does a lot for the whole of Hololive. I love her honesty and have a huge amount of respect for her even though I'm not a regular.
I mean it's the Internets, no shortage of people who _openly_ hate her for any variety of BS reasons and will enthusiastically tell her as much on social media and whatnot. You occasionally run into some pretty toxic comments under these clips too.
Also as you may know she recently had a pretty harrowing experience IRL in her other life and is doubtless still pretty shaken over it.
In this particular case tho I suspect it's primarily the always slightly awkward communication between the two of them - Kiara has explicitly said she finds Kronii difficult to "read", especially when they aren't interacting face to face (what with the habitual monotone and general deadpan affect), which ought to be particularly troubling to an insecure introvert like her who's probably constantly trying to gauge others' moods and reactions. And then there was that incident some months back during Girls' Talk when Wawa blundered onto one of Kronii's few actual triggers with an offhand joke about Sally, which ought to have left everyone involved with a pretty awkward aftertaste. No idea if Kronii even thinks much of the whole thing (and if she does she's probably just embarrassed of her own behaviour) but I'll eat my hat if Kiara isn't still kicking herself over it - and given AFAIK they haven't collabed much since then her brainworms have near certainly spun that into "she totally hates me now"...
Kronii herself self-reports as introverted enough to feel uncomfortable approaching others for collabs which can't have helped the dynamic there one bit, though it does add significance to her floating the offer.
@@broadbandislife a more recent one would be the Offcollab in Japan Kronii, IRyS and Raora had. IRyS was commenting on Kronii's IRL figure and Kiara made a joke about Kronii's model. There was a awkward pause before Kronii realized she was mistaking the comment and deflected her offence into complimenting Kiara. There were a number of comments on Kiara's channel being offended on Kronii's behalf, so Kiara saw those plus what you've talked about and the fact Kronii doesn't communicate to others much. In general Kiara feels forgotten by the others when not in the same physical area AKA Japan, that's mostly down to the EN's just being terrible at communicating. Though that really doesn't help her brain worms twisting it. In some ways it can feel worse dealing with indifference or feeling like being taken for granted than knowing someone doesn't like you.
Coming back here now after Ame left, how many EN's had on stream break downs over their regrets of taking Ame being in the company for granted. That they missed out on doing things? That's part of why Kiara's emotional reaction was so strong, as she knows they will talk less and they were barely talking while Ame was still in hololive.
Other members respect Kiara as she is part of Myth and does a lot BTS for the branch, but they take for granted that she will always be around. They have shyness of not wanting to be a bother, and are letting contentment steal time and opportunities to do thing before the next person graduate's. Kiara only has a few more goal's she want's to do in hololive, after she achieves those she'll likely leave.
wawa, if you find your way to this clip, we loooooove yooooooooooooou
Massage 😳
Awww poor Kiara, ofc no one can hate you for being this precious. Kronii is so sweet 😭😭
Dealing with impostor syndrome is pretty tough sometimes. Kiara is just like me fr
If there's one thing Kiara is the queen of its overthinking. Her eternal battle with the brain worms continues.
Kiara you are loved. Its okay.
She's likely also still kicking herself over the Sally thing during the Girls' Talk some months ago, that one ought to have left an awkward aftertaste. And I think her and Kronii haven't really collabed much since then either...?
Given the degree to which decidedly more self-assured people can torment themselves over much lesser gaffes (that in some cases are seriously ancient history) it's only too easy to see how her inner demons might start whispering "she totally hates you now"...
Assuming my Kitchen Psych 101 speculation here has any truth to it then from Kiara's perspective Kronii floating the suggestion probably amounts to an offer of the proverbial olive branch - if so no wonder she got rather emotional.
The duality of being close enough to give Kronii a unique nickname but also anxious enough to worry if her feelings are reciprocated. Man I love this birb. 😂 But seriously, it's just a matter of directness. She's easily the most direct communicator in EN, so if things aren't communicated just as directly to her, it'd give those nasty brain worms some wiggle room.
1:34 chat : did you marry her
I loved their Diablo collab, so I look forward to more collabs from them
How not to love this loveable sempai.
Jeez she worries a lot
To be fair, just because they're in hololive doesn't mean they have to like each other. Like if you work at a decently sized place, you don't expect everyone to like you.
Imposter Syndrome and Anxiety does not discriminate. It happens to all sorts of people in all sorts of places. And Hololive, while seeming to be a good workplace all around, seems to have a much more corporate vibe than most other agencies combined with its size, so its probably better even among the talents to assume the standard rule with coworkers that while they may be friendly and are not backstabbers or bullies like in Nijisanji, they are not inherently your friend until proven otherwise.
Do you not realize how openly disliked she was early on? And now people want to act like that didn't happen
@@skrubknight884 I believe Towa and a couple of JP members have straight up said they aren't friends with others, but that they don't hate anyone it's just work. Which is at least an honest answer. I worry for Calli as she keeps trying to act like everyone is friends but there are over 100 holo members now, that's just not reality.
She still gets a lot of open hate on twitter and even on clips comment sections. that combo with her own negative esteem is a bad pairing. least year(2023) was really bad for her before Nerissa joined.
"I felt so touched"
*zoom the camera out to see Kronii just started another massage*
Man, she's so sweet!
Thank you so very much for clipping again!!!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
Kronii is like that cool boyfriend among the girls, giving cool vibes.
Fucking protect her
the Imposter syndrome be as brigth as her hair fr
Remember mommy fox....it seems this kind of career really makes you feel that way
the career requires being terminally online and the toxicness of that is not great for mental health.
Queen of Impostersyndrom
“I’m feeling emotional 😭 come and give me a hug and a kiss”
The two ladies are just winning 😂
Kiara...if you read this...please know...literally everyone loves you. Just be you. That's what we love. You, being you.
Clockanashi is real!
"its always me asking"
Yeah... kiara suffers from beeing an extrovert in a introvert world
Its like Ryo and Kita from Bocch the Rock
We need a collab stream where they massage each other
3:07 I went from Ahh wawa of course people like you to laughing like an idiot because you put Kronii’s head on a croissant
in lore, time and death do have something on immortals, its more towards "this is unnatural and not in my job scope what should i do?" rather than hate
Kiara receiving a lengthy back massage from her coworker "Is this... a purely business relationship?"
Ah, too cute.
Kronii and Chicken massaging each other over and over again? very wholesome but maybe a little bit spicy too.
You prefer sweet and sour chicken 😂
I love kiwawa
I originally thought Kiara meant message and just pronounced it as massage on accident.
That's a lot of "like you know" 😭😭
Double hololive chest massage
Ah yes, the unstoppable force v immovable object of neurodivergence.
Flat affect vs imposter syndrome.
1:51 business relationship is the best kiara
that's my parasocial vtuber
I hate to break it to you Kiara but everyone loves you except one person. Anya is the only one who hates you 😂
Lmao
Kiara: But shes the cool type you know?
Kronii: But why?
brain worms. me too prez.
Isn't this like the 2nd or 3rd time Kiara has thought something like this with other members? This isn't an attack, but it's kind of sad she feels this way at times.
Mmm more than 2 or 3 times. It is a very common thing since her debut, she has self-esteem problems. KPF fights against those intrusive thoughts of her everyday o7
a lot of it is other EN's are shy to the point of not reaching out, plus time zone de-buff or they know she's busy with projects and don't want to bother. Even her and Calli have been bad about messaging each other cause they don't want to be a bother. I remember chat spamming both that they need to actually message each other as they on screen clearly wanted to but wouldn't send a message.
@@caBr010 It's an eternal battle against a Hydra, but we'll never give up! 💪🐥
I cannot imagine being in a position where millions of people like me and feel like no one likes me, when I have like no friends and no one ever talks to me and I think everyday about how no one likes or cares about me.
chat is just impersonal numbers on a stat sheet. We aren't real out side meet and greats, Human brains aren't wired to understand influencing number this big. one of the things I like about Kiara is she saves photos of KFP's with user names so she can keep the fact we are actually real a present thing in her mind.
I can get where those "brain worms" are coming from the last year plus has been really hard on kiara in a lot of ways, Myth mostly being MIA in 2023 from burn out, life and projects. the other ENs being busy or not wanting to bother her while she was grinding away on projects and her album. She felt Isolated and at times forgotten by the others, so not really a surprise the "brain worms" feeding on those thoughts and her self doubt. Plus she's always had a hard time gaging Kronii. I really hope the gals work on talking and doing things together more, not just leaving things to when they are convenient.
Poor Kiara...
I really want to know why she feels that way :/
Kiara's inferiority complex is wild even after coming this far! Being one of the actual EN og's. Gurl needs to build up her confidence and not put herself down! She's done soo many wonderful things within and out of Hololive.
Calli's the same as well she had super imposter mode acting up in her post album release stream. A lot of Vtubers seem to have it.
Yeah her talk show with JP should continue, calli and herself are the bridge that's needed for JP, EN, and ID to really get to know one another without being too intrusive to a point.
She needs to understand that, and her impact on Hololive as a whole. As little as I've seen her, I like her.
You know i feel like most of Myth feel like this lol. Calli seems to have gotten better, Kiara still has it, Ame and Gura seem to be more distant from the rest of EN. Gura in particular seems to want to interact but seems to pull back quite fast. Ina is hmmm not sure for Ina honestly.
Ina sort of follows her own beat if that makes sense. I wish Gura would interact more. I miss that shark.
Is this a story about like, “My secret crush asked me out on a date” kind of thing?
I thought they had a significant relationship over the years beyond business?
Wait, that was Mori or something.
It's more that
- both are kind of introverted
- Kronii's deadpan manner and dry sarcastic humour can make her quite hard to "read"
- Kiara is plagued by severe and persistent self-esteem issues
...kinda adds up to it being only too easy for Wawa to start second-guessing when her self-doubts are acting up. Probably not currently helped _at all_ by being kinda rattled from some bad stuff that recently happened in her other life.
@@broadbandislife Other life, does Kiara live in a parallel universe?
I am still completely new to this VTuber thing.
@@sutor9529 Stuff she does _outside_ her primary job under Cover Corp as "Takanashi Kiara". On the same vein when people talk about a Vtuber's "past life/lives" they're referring to what they did previously under different personas.
That kind of stuff tends to get jokingly called "forbidden knowledge" because in principle it's supposed to be secret to some degree; in practice it's usually a very _open_ secret indeed.
@@broadbandislife Thanks. What ever you say, doc.
I'm not 100% sure if Kiara is an extrovert, but as an extrovert with severe social anxiety I always worry I'm not good enough for my friends or that I'm annoying them at least moreso when I was growing up, I still have it now, but it's more managed. Also imposter syndrome is so real, Kiara's comes off really energetic while Kronii feels more laid-back with her moments that are outlandish, but I feel like those two types of personalities get along the best usually! That's how me and my best friend are, she's really not super expressive, but she always tells me such sweet things or does smth really nice for me.
I'm assuming Kronii's the type of person who shows her appreciation and love for people through her actions according to how Kiara and other people have described her (:
😂
Damn who broke her that you have everytime the feeling thqt nobody likes you really and everything would be Business related. Dont misunderstand, thats a genuine question. You wont be like this per default, its something that becomes part of you by experience 😅
antis mostly. her current and previous personas had quite the antis. I'm pretty sure she has seen many of the posts.
Psychologically speaking, usually that sort of personality comes from childhood experiences rather than adult ones.
Wawa parses as someone who carries a lot of emotional baggage and poorly healed old wounds. 😟
Though in this specific case she was probably worrying she might have alienated Kronii for good in the unfortunate Sally joke incident some months back. (That they IIRC haven't had personal collabs since then can't have helped.) That one had to have left everyone involved with an awkward aftertaste and given how people with decidedly healthier self-esteems can torment themselves over much lesser gaffes it's probably a safe bet Kiara's inner demons have been whispering her some dark things about it.
Never lived in Japan but been part of an association in my uni back in the day to help south east Asian to feel included and navigate around university in France back in the day and work with Japanese because of it and had to take care of Japanese students too. It's hard to explain but . . . You may think that you are pretty close friend with a Japanese but realizing one day that it was just that person way to get a positive response from you, it was just to have positive work environment not really friendships which can hurt a lot when you approach people with an open heart. With time you manage to understand what is a positive work attitude or a way to milk advantage out you and real tokens of affection from a Japanese.
But a lot of students who went alone in Japan came back with psychological scars because of that. Not saying that all Japanese are this way of course and I don't say that's what happened to Kiara. But that permanent questioning about how people really think about you is something that I often saw from people who jumped alone in Japan at a very young age without being prepared for that specificity of Japan style relationship. Keep in mind that we're talking about french students here so I let you imagine how destructive that thing can be 😅
@@Tiavals She's talked of having rather harsh bullying growing up, and than has had Anti's since being 15 when she became an underground Idol in Japan and online ones when she became a content creator and cosplayer. I's say that's enough of her childhood to have cause Psychological harm.
😳
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Is massage a euphemism in this case?
I think a better title for this would have been "Kiara didn't realize how much Kronii liked her". The current title is kinda click-baity
I mean... it's pretty much what she _said._ She kinda gets like that when her brainworms start acting up, unfortunately.
Senpai massaging me??!??!?!? 😢
Well, Kronii is much nicer to Kronii
Kiki got a new crush 😊
HoloLive having so many talents who are so busy all the time probably creates so many misunderstandings. Like how do you find the time to collab with more than a handful of your fellow Idols in the span of a month?
Its not the first time she addresses this "everybody hates me" mentality
I'm gladly shes getting over it it seems
She said the first time when all En got 1mil subs and she was the only one behind
After that and some other smalls talks I started to see a really concerning pattern
but she looks better now
Overall she’s much better now. She’s been improving herself since the day she joined hololive but every once in a while she will have these moments where her brain worms get to her. She’s done much better though like I said and the New York trip overall has given her lots of amazing memories and deepened her bonds with many members
It's very funny that Kronii was designed by the same artist that did Nero in Fate: while Nero likes presents herself as this really cool person but is actually a huge dork, Kronii likes to present herself as a huge dork but everybody who's met her agrees that she's actually incredibly cool.
Wish she still thought that🙏
Foreplay cycle
maybe don't comment anymore and go outside
@@BronzeAgePepper havent gone outside in weeks. Work from home plus delivery for the rest of my life pog
@@Anteo4ever I will take losing remote jobs, even my own, for this fake economy to finally come crashing down if that means people go outside and I don't have to see comments like this anymore
@@BronzeAgePepper He even said ''pog'' too in his reply. This guy might be a lost cause