Report: Economy Just One Speech Away From Recovery
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- Опубликовано: 3 окт 2024
- The Onion Review: Week of July 29, 2013
Dick Van Dyke finally confesses to the Zodiac killings, the open dialogue two Americans are having about race is pretty hilarious, and a fucking loser is at a movie all by himself.
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It's about time The Onion mentioned us mooching thankless viewers.
"The Onion Week in Review was paid for, funded, and entirely created by the Onion and in no way benefited from cheap thankless viewers like you."
How the HELL do people take the Onion seriously?!?!?!?! xD
Well Im using Adblock so they are 100% correct right there
i thought this was a vsauce video when i first glanced at the screenshot
The area man who's too poor to afford movers looks like Michael Stevens.
Is that vsauce in the tumbnail?
Depressed Vsauce maybe.
Mid-life crisis Michael
Vsauce's less successful brother
The reason I never go to the movies by myself is because I think everybody is saying that behind my back.
Now I know it's true :(
I was like, "Dick Van Dyke was still alive in 2013?" All to find out that he's still alive on 11-07-2021.
Still waiting on that speech
Thanks Obama!
I hate how there aren't more activities for loners. Not everybody out there cares to go see a movie or eat out with a friend. Some people prefer doing most stuff alone, but we are looked at funny when we do.
"A fucking loser is at a movie all by himself."
that... stung.
zerg0s and to rub it in, a movie poster of Turbo is in the background
That bit at the end "and a fucking loser is at the movies by himself" made me lose it hahahaha
I just want someone to tell me that I'm doing things the right way or not... and no politicians, Soul Eater to have more episodes, my very own Office Depot and Barns and Nobel, a Japanese permanent residency Visa, the ability to speak Hindi, Russian, and Japanese fluently, my own pet Wabbafet, Gundams to be real but no war, Mega Man Legends 3 to be released, and no more first person shooters... and Final Fantasy XIII to stop making stupid sequels. maybe a Guinness faucet in my kitchen too...
Just win Holy Grail War and you will get all of it, especially the no war part
its all about the timing, NEVER go to an evening showing alone. It has to be during the day, its way more appropriate and less depressing. lol
I was about to go to a movie tonight by myself 😭
I went to the cinema the other day myself ;_;
i went to cinema by myself all the time because i have no friends
I was going to one tomorrow by myself too 😭
All you're doing is staring at the screen anyway.
Don't worry. We're not losers. We're worse.
I miss those days
That escalated quickly....
Thank you, The Onion, for your unfailingly funny videos. :)
↑↑↑↑↑↑↑↑↑↑ "a fucking loser is at a movie all by himself"
''Cheap thankless viewers like you'' after that did anyone else pressed the like button instantly like me ?
Poor area man, I'll help him move!
Sorry to hear about that. It must be terrible living with prosopagnosia.
one of the best onion videos in a while
good luck ! i went on a onion watching spree and i can tell you its very satisfying esp the old onion stuff
Now it's all old Onion stuff. 😔
1:37 this guy has the best ideas of them all.
definitely below the belt.
0:12 Vsauce, Micheal?
I'm still waiting
It's better than staying at home all by yourself.
I do too, at least you can meet people that way... sometimes
Dick van Dkye fit confesses to Zodiac killings
That's a winner
the fifth weezer ahahaha
That loser watching that movie alone ... is me.
>___
Well, I was going to go see a movie by myself this weekend, but I guess I'll just stay home and pirate it now.
pause it at 2.09, the smile of a serial killer there
legit thought that was michael from vsauce
I think that's the guy who bought 22 million tickets to see Avatar.
...but if the government isn't going to make speeches, then what is it going to do?
As sea levels rise beach front property will not only be affordable but difficult to unload.
Breaking News! Economy just one Rockenboks Ad away from recovery : P
> "Experts at the bureau of economics confirmed the American economy is just one great speech away from full recovery."
How brilliant is that quote? That is going everywhere I can put it :D
covid news? nah fam, im getting my juice right here
ONION SATIRE IS SO REAL NOW IT'S SCARY
Hey! I like going to the cinema alone occasionally... no one is bothering me with random s#it through the whole movie.
haha weezer
that was one BAD FUCKING DAY ! lol
I have a splendid time at the movies by myself, even if Sakura doesn't show up after I invite her to join me!
I'm down for healthy fast food. Make it happen Obama
more realistic than... reality?
wait a minute
As absurd as inhumane humans.
Lots of people had their nerves played with after viewing that thing about the lone movie goer. =D
you're on the right track.
"Hey, Vsauce, Michael here!"
I'd just be happy with the big happy dog.
well in the back you don't have to worry about people kicking your seat, and being to close to the screen is something I never liked
I always suspected that Dick Van Dyke was a serial killer.
Granted I thought he was the Boston Strangler not the Zodiac Killer, but I was still right to be suspicious.
...I go to the movies alone
damn rough bro, hope it picks up towards the middle
is it wrong that I'm in the 30% that want a big happy cat?
I would sign up for the next season of sex house if they're planning on having this guy narrate the whole thing
Nations of the world agree tomorrow will be a re-do of yesterday.
The healthy fast food part was funny.
The only movie I ever saw by myself was The Last Airbender. It was the saddest day of my life.
But it is!
Hey! I'm that guy at the cinema.
Big happy dog ;-)
hey man i watched the video! this is so crazy i mean it's like we're brothers or something
I recently watched his video about creepy things and was thinking that. don't watch his videos a lot so i wasn't sure.
lol, havent missed out on much other than jurassic park 3-d.
You said we'd crack and start paying for these videos but I guess we showed you!
This is brilliant
You rock Lee! No pun intended...
This was going so well until 2:42
Thank you Onion! I wont pay you anything though! :D
Love the end
What's wrong with weezer?
Consumer sentiment does have an affect..
This is what I thought.
I'm that cheap fucking loser who went to cinema all alone....
Smoke a joint. Works great alone AND in a group.
this is how ppl think
Lol! wayyy out there!
hahahaha oh my god what?
Liked. Subscribed. You're welcome.
Aww, I'll go to the movies with you.
a bald creepy white dude, yup that sounds about right..lol
Ouch...I watch movies alone as well
I thought the guy in the thumbnail was Michael from Vsauce.
the moviemakers are the losers in this case
exercise feels good, its just the time it takes that sucks
Thanks, I hate going to the movies alone. What city are you in?
Maybe it's just the local fox news station in my area that has it's head in the dirt.
No
I can't wait until the economy returns to the pell mell churning out of emptiness.
True story.
Get that fucking dog away from me!
It is ironic how the onion nevertheless speaks the truth.
excuse me?
download ad block , u can thank me later.
Reality is creeping up on Onion from time to time - one can do shit about it.
I'm a married man with children, I could give a rats ass if I'm sitting in an action movie alone at the cinemas, but if it was a comedy I would feel kinda awkward, but still its doable. I guess in my teenage and early 20's years I would find it awkward to go to the movies alone, but age and having to worry about more important things I'll take any opportunity to just sit back, relax, watch a good movie, even if I'm by myself.
Maybe that one great speech is not that far off - IF the speech supported the grass roots idea of a National Hiring Day. Maybe thousands of jobs are just a speech away - no really.
v....vsauce?