Asking Men to Roll in Jiu Jitsu
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- Опубликовано: 7 сен 2024
- I think most women at one point or another have been intimidated being in a room filled with mostly men - especially when you've recently started and you have to ask the guys to roll. How do we navigate this? What happens if they say no? Here's my two cents :)
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Im usually the only woman at my gym & I’m the oldest (47) so the comfort level varies regarding each… I just watch them roll with others first and then go up and ask if they want to roll yes or no, it’s ok, everyone has that choice…don’t take it personal….it is awkward sometimes, but I try to ignore it & roll so don’t get hurt… do what your comfortable with, so your mind is on learning & technique ❤
It's good to hear from a woman about the concerns of rolling with a man. I'm 48 years old, man, and began BJJ 3 months ago. My major concern with asking women is the same issue raised by the guy that Kimberly quoted. In our context, men have to be careful so that they don't come across as creepy or that they are trying to hit on the women in the gym. Though I think it's also true that I'm far more comfortable going harder on the men than on the women who are much smaller. I'm not a big guy (5'8'' and 200 pounds, more fat than muscle), but most of the women are a lot smaller. A couple of them have tapped me out (and I'm fine with that), but I try to put more emphasis on skill than on brute strength or my body weight. But if women are shy, then I should go out and ask them to roll with me--especially if they are blue belts or higher. I'm wary of rolling with the white belts because neither of us (I'm a white belt too) know what we are doing.
I've never had to roll with a woman or had the opportunity to. When I started BJJ there was one blue belt and she eventually moved which put the gym back to mainly guys (there's two middle school girls but unless you're a coach you're not supposed to roll with them)w. Not wanting to be considered a creep is definitely a thing and we can only build rapport by sharing the same space with vulnerability and honesty. It would be great to have gyms host ways to roll with each other so the awkward aspect is shouldered by the gym or coach and we're seeing live examples and having a community agreement or something! Just a thought.
That's so crazy that you've never had the opportunity to roll with a woman! I guess I'm so used to there being so many girls in my gym that I forget a lot of smaller gyms don't have a lot of women. I would try to attend some open mats at different schools so you can diversify your training partners :)
This is a very fair and balanced response and I completely agree! When I first started at my gym, none of the men took the initiative to ask me to roll, so I would have to ask every time. It was awkward as hell sometimes and a couple of them didn’t roll with women and it was not easy to put myself out there time after time. But it’s hard for them too and I get why most don’t ask women to roll. But in my experience very few men have minded rolling with me, they just didn’t want to initiate it. just had to find my courage and keep asking and it really didn’t take long to figure out who I was comfortable with, who I liked rolling with, make friends, etc. Now I have lots of men I roll with regularly who ask me to roll and even new guys will occasionally since they see me being comfortable with and a good roll with the other guys too.
I agree there’s lots of reasons, from them not knowing how to roll with you, not being certain how hard to go, not wanting to look like a creep, etc. For women who are very new I definitely think asking higher ranking men to roll is the way to go at first, they’ll be able to match your pace, not just smash or muscle things, and teach you stuff hopefully. And it will help get you more comfortable rolling with men if it’s something that makes you nervous.
THIS COMMENT! 100% agree with everything you said!
Oh my goodness. I am just running a bath and wanting to de stress and was shining man I wish there was a new jiujitsu blog from Kim I could watch and bam ! Wish come true. Thanks for the video gonna watch now!!
Hahah appreciate you!!
I love these Q&A type videos you've been putting out.❤️ Very helpful and informative. Keep it up!
Thank you!! So happy they're helpful :)
I do think it gets easier the higher belt you are. I used to feel like it was inappropriate to ask the guys to roll because they were all higher ranked than me. Now I'm a purple belt and I'll ask no problem. That higher belt can give a lot of confidence!
Definitely, completely agree!!
I'm a male 5th ku in Aikido and have no problems training with female partners as it's not close up and personal. Don't know much about BJJ. I would never get aggressive or ever try try to harm a female in any way. My only concern is that I might become sexually aroused and feel so ashamed and embarrassed being in close contact, rolling around with someone of the opposite sex. Don't know if you have ever experienced this and what can I do about it? If I were to try BJJ, I was thinking it might be a good idea to wear a cup or supporter so it won't show so much!
I've never experienced this happening to any males that I've rolled with. When I've asked my husband about this topic in the past, he says his thoughts in jiu jitsu are so far away from anything sexual, so rolling with women has never been an issue. As far as a cup goes, I actually don't think it's recommended or that you should even be wearing one - not 100% though.
@kimberlykinch Thanks! Also I didn't know if striking, hitting or attacking the groin is allowed in BJJ, though I'm sure it can happen and contact can be made. In Aikido we don't do that and are trained to protect that area at all times. Maybe I should just wear protection anyway in a Martial Arts sport like BJJ, when in physical contact with other opponents, however I don't want to restrict my manuverability!
@@butchmccain1771 no there’s no striking/kicking of any sorts in jiu jitsu 👍🏻
I'm new and my go to is ask my coach it's like the best because I tell him "coach I don't want to get murdered" and he knows how everyone rolls so I have had great partners. (I am super new so I really like asking my coach for help he's awesome) I don't know whats happening so this is such a great method.
That's really great that you feel comfortable with your coach and that he knows his students really well!!
i have a few people i flock to but i would like to roll with other people there. maybe i'll work up the courage one day but for now i'll just stick to my people or stand there until i'm chosen lol
Lol! Work up that courage!
I don’t know if you will see this comment as it is four days after this video but I am hoping you do. It is about recovering from hamstring surgery. I go in today to talk to orthopedic and I’m hoping I can get surgery soon as I talk tendons completely. my question was after surgery using the brace how do use the bathroom??
Hi! I'm so sorry that you're going through this. Get a raised toilet seat!! I wouldn't have survived without it lol. The first couple of weeks, sitting down is really difficult so that raised toilet seat makes things a little easier.
@@kimberlykinch OK thank you I was wondering if it would help. I am two weeks past injury, and I can sit on the toilet finally without pain. I was wondering though do you take the brace off when you use the toilet or do you just put the waist part above your pants so that you can pull them down?
@@user-fc7pr5yc8c Aw yeah I hear you. Unfortunately when you get surgery, it's probably going to feel like you've taken 10 steps backwards. I remember feeling like my leg was getting better before surgery but knowing that after surgery I was going to start right back at step 1. When I was home, I just wore sweatpants or loose shorts right over the brace so that I could easily use the bathroom. I only put my brace over my pants when I left my house to look a little more put together lol.
@@kimberlykinch thank you that is so helpful. I was thinking about being my sweat over the brace as well but wasn’t sure. I also wanted to thank you so much for your videos. I am currently watching them again. Your attitude and vulnerability with the process has really helped me ❤️
@@user-fc7pr5yc8c I’m so happy they’ve been helpful! It’s a tough journey but you’ll get through it ❤️ Let me know if you have any other questions!
Just Curious! Is Jiu-jitsu a competitive submissive sport with tournaments? I think that I'd be very uncomfortable being in close contact, rolling around with a female and would definitely feel so extremely embarrassed and ashamed being beaten by an experienced girl in a competition, especially in front of a crowd.