Dude I'm also 5 years on T (well, in June) and the dysphoria goblin in my brain ALSO screams "GIRL EYES! GIRL EYES!" at me whenever I catch a glimpse of just the top half of my face. I have a full beard on the bottom half. I think because our eyes don't really change with transition it can be something WE recognise from pre-transition but other people would never think about it. But solidarity with the brain goblins.
@@herrickinman9303 dysphoria isn't commonly referred to as an "attack", that's:s more a characteristic of panic, you knoe night on nothing about the original commenter (Felix, I presume), you clearly do not understand the motivation behind transition and care not to learn them. why do you give enough of a shit to comment? why would you care what a fellow man is doing with his mind when it has absolutwly no effect on you?
@@herrickinman9303 Do you like just click on trans-related videos to shitpost & preach? Any established association or "scientific understanding" of the trans experience is by nature flawed, biased, and incomplete. That's why people like Jackson make videos like this - there is so much we don't know, & so much that changes from person to person. Just because it's something others can't understand or have language for yet doesn't make it any less real. If you don't believe trans issues are valid & important then I doubt there's much any of us could do to convince you. But if your commenting habits are any indication, I suggest taking a deep look within as to why invalidating the experiences & reality of trans folks appeals so much to you.
I think nice eyes are Not a Girl or Boy thing….some people are just lucky enough to have Nice Eyes! I am a cisfemale & I wish I had some of my cismale’s eyes with the long eyelashes & all. Perhaps a different shaped glasses or something could cause the desired look.
So you don't get misgendered while wearing a mask, try drawing a mustache on the mask. Hell, go overboard with it. Draw a ridiculous handlebar mustache with a pointy evil-twin goatee.
David Farrey as someone who embroidered mustaches onto masks they look a bit better if you give them a little bit of a mouth. Even if its just a line/something simple and cartoony. Otherwise without just having the hovering mustache can look weird and more silly.
The whole experimentation thing is weird. For years I identified as non-binary but the further I get in my transition, the more I feel like a dude. I don't know if it's about my own thoughts on gender or gender roles, or about other people's expectations of me or getting older or what. But the feeling has definitely changed. And I'm not even on hormones yet. It really puzzles me.
I agree! I started taking T three months ago and I wanted to achieve a more androgynous appearance as a nonbinary person. But the more changes I get, the more changes I want. I originally thought I didn't want facial hair and now I kinda dig it?? It's interesting for sure.
Same, I indentifyed as Non Binary for like 4-5 months, because I 100% am not a woman but the idea of being a man, like the grown ones didnt appeal to me. But it changed and its been 2.5 years now and I know I am a guy
Wow, 5 years?? I distinctly remember being 13 and watching your coming out video on the way home from school one day. I knew I was trans but I didn't think I'd ever be able to come out. I remember watching all the T update videos and wondering if I'd ever get to that point. Flash forward to now, I came out, I'm starting college in the fall, and will be starting T soon. I know it's a bit silly and cheesy, but being able to see you just living your life, happily as a trans guy gave me a lot of hope back then. So yeah, thank you for being visible and sharing your story (+ that bit of dad-like advice at the end of the video) and I'm glad you're doing well, aside from the craziness that has been this pandemic.
this video helped me more then i thought. I'm 1y4m on T. and well i don't pass. but the most important thing for me is that i can still find happiness even when i don't pass. i still like the changes and feel at peace when i'm by myself. and i never thought i would find that. I have 5 dark facial hairs and am hella shot (5'2). change did take a long time for me. I have been noticing that changes are coming but they came really late. as in the most changes started when i hit the 1 year mark. my voice didn't drop until i was at least 8 months on T (i did get to a male range). My body has reshaped itself a little but that has been something i started noticing just a month and a half ago. so finding people online who didn't have a full beard after 5 moths on T is so reassuring.
I dunno if this is helpful, but as a cis guy I started growing ear hair in the latter half of my 20s. (turning 30 this month) Also my beard is still growing in lol... it's taken years and years for my mustache & beard area to connect and become thicker. My cheeks are still really thin though. I dunno if that will ever properly grow in. My mustache has thickened in my 20s and beard hair has started to grow very slowly further down my neck. It's about to the bottom of my Adam's apple and I don't think it will grow much further. Lastly... back hair is becoming more of a thing as I enter my 30s. Le sigh. For context I started going through puberty at like 13. All this to say that if you're still waiting on changes don't give up.
Actually I was going to make a similar comment, in the 6 years I've been dating my boyfriend (cis hispanic male) I've seen him going from almost no back hair to noticeable patches of hair. He is now entering his 30's and the patches are merging together!! So I think it might be an age thing. In case an extra experience might help?
Cis man in my late thirties here, ditto on the nose and ear hairs, but even my eyebrows now need grooming. Also, I developed chest hair in my early thirties, didn't have it before in my 20s. Also, I've only recently started shaving with razor blades and notice that my beard is thicker and coarser now. Before I used to just trim with an electric shaver.
You're actually from my hometown apparently but that makes me so happy to know that you're from a... judgmental area (that area is a strange one and has made me feel like I needed to be a certain way most of my life) and able to come out and be authentic to yourself. Your situation is very similar to me and it gives me hope. Thanks for making your videos and being so chipper about it.
oh my gosh thank YOU for talking about finasteride--literally everything you were talking about in terms of periods and changes applied to me and my journey the past 4 years and I just never linked it, but hearing you talk about it, it just clicked that the same thing was happening to me. Thank you SO much for bringing that up
You are amazing. I have two amazing people in my life that are trans male as well. And they are all doing spectacular in their own journeys. Lesson for everyone- support your trans friends. They may just be a good friend of yours or someone you’ve known and loved for years. I am unbelievably proud in both of them in everything they’ve accomplished in their lives, and I love them even more as friends for the young men they’ve become. Both have incredibly supportive families, and I couldn’t be happier for them. I really hope both of them find your channel because you have such clarity and transparency and are just you.
Not entirely sure why The Algorithm recommended this at me, as a blah-blah straight cisgendered male*, but this video was still compelling and thoughtful throughout, so it's been time well spent. Thanks, Jackson! (*But I do have long beautiful curly hair that girls are often kinda jealous of, and I too was "ladies'ed" this August as well for just that reason. So at least we share that in common! ;p )
it's crazy, i started t not even a year ago and at like 7 or 8 months i stopped doing voice updates because i simply forgot. i keep forgetting i'm trans and then it pops up in random moments and i'm like: oh shit that's a things ooops lol :D
He transitioned to hide from the government and convince them he’s his own twin brother. The government has officially dropped the charges of the crimes he committed pre T
I've been on T for 5.5 months now and I had some symptoms come really early, some come when the doctor said they should and some I am still hoping desperately for. I initially wasn't going to go on T because I am scared of needles but now I do my own injections (it's still terrifying but I manage). The biggest change for me is that I feel more like myself since starting T and I am looking forward to that continuing!
Jack, this was such a beautiful video. My first video of yours was when you came out as trans! It's been remarkable to watch you grow and change and getting to meet you at Yule Ball in Boston. So happy for you!!
Wow. I watch your videos from time to time and I'm so happy to see you with facial hair now! Time flies, I guess last time I watched one of your vids I was not on T yet and I'm now four months on T. Good luck to those who are currently struggling to get hormones or surgeries, I hope the best for y'all. You are legitimate, whether you want hormones, surgeries or not.
I also had negative effects on Finasteride. It made me feel really weird: paranoid, anxious, insomnia, confusion, depression, memory loss, headache. My pain killer and anti-depressant, pregabalin made me gain weight going from 165 to 210Lb. Not much help from back pain caused from pressurized disks resting on damaged nerve endings made wore with the heavier weight. Pregablin also caused me extreme sweating, paranoia, nausea. I talk about all this in one of my transition videos. I'm glad to hear you talk about this too and that you are doing better now. Stay safe.
I know how it sucks looking young when your actually more mature, educated, and experiemced than you're being treated. I started hrt at 35 and eventually you'll look your age. It may take some time. I'm now 43 and feel like I finally kinda look 43. But it also sucks going from looking 18 to looking 40 - something. I lost my whole 30s in the process. I also lost my boyhood by not being allowed to transition. So there sometimes a lot of pain and greeving to go through. Just know you're safe now, and thats whats important.
I'm so on the fence about going on T. I really want to, but also don't. Theres so much I want from it, and so much I don't! Watching videos like this help, giving me information with a point of view, and different experiences, and not just words on a screen. I still don't know, I'm the most indecisive person ever, but I love seeing the update videos from people, nonetheless. Thanks for the update! And Happy Early Birthday!
Hey I don't know if this will help but my advice (I'm 14 tryna get on T currently) is to not go on T unless you're 100% sure you're ok with all the changes cuz there are some you can't reverse or avoid. You don't needa get it right away and if you're still unsure maybe go on hormone blockers so you don't gotta worry bout getting more female 'stuff' and kinda procrastinate the decision. Good luck:)
If you're indecisive in the way I am/was, you might never be 100% sure about the effects of T. My advice is that you don't have to be 100% sure about T. You have to be 100% sure about *going on* T. You have to be sure you'll be happy with your choice, even if you don't like the consequences of that choice. In my case, I hit a point where I wasn't sure I would be happy with T 5 years down the line, but I couldn't be more sure about T without actually trying it, and I couldn't tolerate NOT taking T anymore. I decided that even if in the end I wished for my old voice/body back, I would be able to stand by my decision. I took a low dose my entire first year, to give myself as much opportunity as possible to think over whether I wanted to keep going. I also did gels instead of shots, so that every day I had the choice whether to keep going forward with this. That was about 3.5 years ago, and so far I'm still on T.
So, coming months late to the game with this since for some reason this is where my quarantine binging ended up this evening. I just wanted to send some love and say this is totally okay and probably more normal than the videos from trans RUclips let on. For me, I spent 2 years deciding whether to go on hormones after coming out. I spent 3.5 deciding if I wanted top surgery (plus another 6 months on a waiting list for surgery). I didn't go into either decision 100% sure. In fact, I remember being rolled into the operating room as they were about to put me under being terrified I'd regret it. It's 6 years later now. Those two decisions were the two best decisions I've made in my life thus far (just after the decision to come out at all of course). After years of researching, weighing pros/cons, talking to my therapist, etc, both I just had to make with my gut, not my head. Sometimes, that's what you just have to trust. Which is shit cause it's really hard to do. Anyway, I hope this gives you some solace, or at least some peace of mind knowing that the indecisiveness on this is not just you. It's a big life decision. Everyone has shit they don't want out of it (I dare you to find someone that really wants to just flip a coin on going bald when they could avoid it). But if your gut is saying it will make shit better, make you happier and make it easier to live in this world, go with that.
I'm three years on T this month, and I also think that where I am now is where I thought I would be one year on T. I think one of the reasons for that is the way people talk about T. People say most of the changes happen within the first year, and most youtubers stop doing monthly updates after the first year. And for some changes it's true, but I've definitely grown body and facial hair, and I've had enough other changes in just the last year that I feel MUCH more comfortable now than I did after Year One. And honestly, I'm still waiting on more fat redistribution and stuff. So yeah, I felt that when you said it. ALSO I was 14 when you came out, and had only told my mom at that point, so seeing your video at 14 right before I came out made me feel like I was less alone, especially in a small town where I never really had any trans friends. I'm so glad you're at a point where you're feeling happy and confident. Congrats on five years, Jack!
Thank you for making videos like this. I'm a little over 1 year on T and I've had to stop following other trans people online because I kept seeing one kind of body type of people with way active lifestyles that pass quicker in transition, and I just don't see others like me often.
CW: Periods I would like to say for people who may still get their periods while being on T for a while without having conflicting medications, I'm 3.5 years on T and even with nothing conflicting, my period never went away, it just got really irregular (I don't have it now because my endo put me on a progesterone pill that stops it but even that took like 6 months to work) so if you're new and still experiencing it, know that this can happen and it's not just you, everyone reacts differently to HRT
I came back to your channel because I was watching another trans RUclipsr and remembered you exist, and found this video, and damn time flies. I was subscribed 5 years ago, remember you coming out and starting testosterone, it’s incredible to see your journey!
Wow 5 years! 🤩 I just hit my year mark on T and finished watching all of your update vids in order 😊 Idk if you can hear it, but I noticed after watching the 3 year video that I do hear a difference in your voice between then and the 5 year video, and I think that’s really cool :)
Finally someone with a similar experience of mine. I’m 2y on T and feeling hopeless and suicidal for not passing. Knowing other guys that went through this helps me a little bit. I’m sick of videos of guys passing at 6 months on T and having a super deep voice with 1 year.
Thank you so much for this video. You are always very honest and I appreciate it very much. I really needed this especially the last two points of the video. I am really feminine in reality but I can't express it yet because I get misgendered daily by my family so I try to be as masculine as possible to feel valid. And oh my god I relate to your last point. I'm 8 months on T, I know you might think "that's not much", but the changes have been so slow, that I'm pretty sure it's not going to drastically change anytime soon. I'm going to look pretty much like this on my 1 year mark. I'm 23 and I see younger guys 1 year on T having full beards and stuff like that and it makes me feel really insecure. I have to accept the fact that my transition is different (as everyone's is) and appreciate the changes that have happened instead of complaining of what hasn't. Everyone is different and valid, much love to all my trans brothers, sisters and enby siblings 🏳️🌈
i'm a (mostly?) cis woman but i appreciate how educational these videos are! i know you're just one person, but hearing about the more unexpected changes is really interesting. like the stuff about sweating and smelling, or not crying- it's not just "ugh guys are gross and don't shower enough" or "men think they aren't allowed to cry", it's an actual physiological thing caused by testosterone! i mentioned that to my (transwoman) housemate because she was having A Time with emotions when she first started on hormones. it's just an estrogen thing apparently lol
i will start t on saturday. it feels unreal and i'm so fucking excited, and grateful to all my fellow trans siblings who have been out there sharing and educating. so thank you so much, jackson, you are one of those thanks to whom i've felt more and more empowered to start my journey. :)
I'm 6 months on T and hearing that changes can take longer than u think and seeing someone at 5 years on T acknowledging that is really important I think. idk I find myself always comparing to the people who get really fast changes and I think a reminder to be patient is important as well as acknowledging that wherever you're at thats okay
I just had my 1 year on T anniversary during the pandemic too. I didn't expect to be celebrating this milestone during times like these! Your video is so great though and I really appreciate the realness and honestly. Thank you for sharing! ... also very reassuring to hear that you can cry now. It's been over a year and I haven't been able to cry once yet!
Glad I found your channel. I'm one month on T tomorrow :) The patience thing is so important. Not that I thought I was going to have changes after day one haha, but changes will take a lot of time and learning to be patient with the slow process is vital I also learned pretty much everything I know from trans men and non-binary people who make RUclips videos. When I expect medical professionals to speak candidly about bodies and the changes to bodies on T, they haven't been as candid as the content creators I've been watching. And it's sad because I want my doctor to be as candid as possible. I know a lot of people don't want that and they are super valid for not wanting their health care providers to be candid. Also, I'll probably binge your content over the next few days lol Cheers
Jack, I really like how you approach topics and how insightful you speak. Will you buy yourself the mindful masculinity book? I'm not from the US, so ordering it for me is a bit more expensive and I want to see some reviews beforehand. And I like your approach to masculinity and stuff a lot.
Marek Z Depending on where you live and stuff: I sometimes buy books used so they're cheaper. Just a thought in general; you'll know best if that works for you
Thank you for this video. It is hard not to compare yourself to other transgender people sometimes, but hearing different stories and seeing that everybody reacts differently to HRT is so important. For me, my voice was the first change I notice, anout 6-8 weeks after the first shot. But that might have been because I had a deeper voice to begin with. On the other hand I did not grow any body hair whatsoever because of genetics, which is often one of the first changes a lot of transgender guys report. Everybody is different, and though it can be hella frustrating sometimes it is also normal and changes will come, just be preoared you might not get everything you wish for, or maybe just later than others. Be safe, be you, and keep up the fight, you will get there.
From a straight married 33 year old woman with two kiddos who for some reason was recommended this channel 😂 I wouldn't think of you as looking like girl at all, your eyes don't give you away. My husband has big brown 'girly' eyes and fantastic eye lashes.. So jelly.. last time I checked he's always been a dude 😂, but seriously your a very attractive man! Your eyes just make you more attractive 😊♥️
I'm so envious of how quickly your voice dropped like holy crud! 9 months and I still have a girly voice! And i'm MAD. It's so wierd how T is so different for everyone. I mean in my case I have lost the estrogen swelling (oedema), my hips have gotten a bit smaller and my waist thicker and body hair is nuuuuts but I always had a lot of body hair anyway. I'm still waiting to pass even once *sigh* I still get "m'aam" and "miss" constantly and it's disheartening honestly. at 35 i still get mistaken for a teenager, but so did my father well up into his 40s lol. It's shortness and a round ol' face. Definitely found the not being able to cry really interesting, I have to really try to FORCE those tears out and oh man it's hard. It kinda hurts! I wonder if the reason why we think it'll be quicker is because a lot of the guys we see DID get faster results, either because genetics or because of transitioning in their teens anyway. I do find it disheartening at times to not have the big changes and I really would love to be at a point where I passed regularly but I acknowledge it's a fair way off and genetically I may simply not be lucky enough to lose a lot of the softness that leads to me being read as female. That's just life though isn't it? And the mental and physical benefits of T have made such a difference for me that I can't say it's been a waste even if I always get misgendered for the rest of my life. I'm not in pain anymore so ... yeah.
I just found you through the youtube rabbit hole. I found your video from 2018 about being both trans and gay/bisexual. I also grew up in Texas and, though my family was quite open-minded, I also didn't know that gay trans-men existed lol. Now, I am 28 and am an openly non-binary trans person who is pan-romantic and ace. I know...it's a lot. When someone asks me for my "labels," I like to just say "I'm Evan. That's all." Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you for making videos about being trans. It makes me, and I'm sure others, feel more confident in being who we are. (Also, where in Texas are you from? I'm from Denton, and though the town is pretty liberal, when I went to get my name changed, I was denied. They didn't say it was because I'm trans, but it was implied -_-)
Great information here! Thank you!!! I was taking Saw Palmetto supplements to help prevent hair loss, which I have read helps to block DHT, but I have since stopped because I felt it might be hindering any progress I could be making on testosterone. There is female and male pattern baldness in my family, so I just finally embraced the fact that I’m probably gonna be bald and shaved it all off, which was pretty darned liberating! Baldcafe on RUclips rocks for the going bald discussion and there are other videos about it which have been helpful. I’m almost 51 and only two months on T, so I’m new on this journey and excited for the changes that are happening and to finally be able to be 100% me! Thanks again for the good work you’re doing here!
Hi Jackson! I just finished reading your book, Sorted, and I wanted to tell you how much I liked it. You write and speak so eloquently. I appreciated the definitions and explanations you provided. I’m recommending your book to all my friends!
I am a trans woman, but i have a lot of acne issues and wrinkles as well. I have found a daily treatment that has cured acne and majorly helps with oily skin and wrinkles. 1 cup virgin cold press coconut oil 6 lemons peeled (make lemon-aid with the rest!) simmer peels and oil in a double boiler for 3 hours, store in a glass jar for up to 30 days. use daily on acne prone areas. can make skin sensitive to sunlight so best used before bed. i have a very deep forehead wrinkle that is almost invisible and zero acne or oily skin.
Hi Jackson! I just found your channel and wanted to say thank you for your thoughtful insights and reflections. I'm a trans woman going the other direction and I haven't had much window into the similarities and differences of the ftm experience. The finasteride story was interesting because all my mtf friends swear by it for the same reasons that you had to stop. I'm glad the topical substitute worked out well for you, though! Crying, too ... before I started HRT I couldn't cry no matter how I felt, and now it's like, the drop of a dime lol. So it's gotta have something to do with it. Anyway thank you again, I really appreciate hearing from someone further along in the transition process (even if it's a different transition)!
I have no experience with transitioning, so this may be something you have already explored and is part of vocal coaching. I will just share my experience, because the distinction might help you read man in a mask more clearly. I am a woman with a very deep booming voice. I wanted to be able to sing at summer camp, satsangs and in just a casual singalong context, but always felt super awkward because my voice was so much louder, but not well tuned. I went to a vocal coach, and she taught me to sing through my nose. Initially it required a lot of conscious attention, but eventually found my groove and significantly improved. That said, I think you talk through your nose. If you learned to speak from your chest/throat, it would change the quality of your voice and read as less “different”. I hope that is received with the positive intention that it was offered. It’s something that would never have occurred to me, and I acknowledge that I am projecting that’s a thing you don’t know about either. Just trying to be helpful. You are a very cute guy with a nice voice. Nothing about my comment was saying that your voice is wrong, or that you should endeavor to change it. Just opening a discussion about subtle distinctions that contribute to the particular experience you seek.
I started watching your channel 5 years ago, actually when your coming out video was released. man, how time has gone by. so interesting to reflect on how your life (and mine) have changed
this was really helpful to hear! I'm currently in the process of taking labs and getting my first testosterone injection and I have been pretty nervous about it, I'm really excited but it's also a big step for me. Thanks for bringing up the less talked about stuff, it's really helpful.
I started watching you when you first came out. So, it has been so great to watch your journey. All of your videos have been so enlightening and I am happy to see you are happy and becoming the person you are. Thanks for the update!
If I go bald, in cool with it. I feel like the only one, I'm sexy af without my hair. I experimented and shaved bald during October and I am a snack. (Was a bad idea considering I haven't had started t yet at that time, so i looked considerably more femmy bald)
I agree wholeheartedly with the photos. I am finally meeting with the gender clinic and hoping to start t soon. I have been despairing for the last couple years that I would never get here and preparing for my first appointment, I looked back on photos. Even without t, I have changed so much. Just finding myself and being more comfortable with who I am has allowed me to look so different already and seeing that helped me feel better about where I'm at now. I can't even begin to imagine what that will feel like to look back at now in a year, two or five years after being on t!
I’m 9mo on T and hopefully I’ll be getting a consult visit for top surgery next month assuming the quarantine isn’t still going. With that said I has made a world of difference seeing videos of others transitioning. I’ll be 29 this aug so I do feel late on the boat but I’m still excited for my journey. As for being read as younger, I totally get that I work at a middle school and I’m always mistaken as a student the look on parents faces when I tell them I’m 28 is both hilarious and endlessly frustrating.
Sorry you're going through that pal, but I'm glad I could help with the lightbulb moment. I couldn't believe I hadn't put two and two together until I heard someone else say it either. That's just how it goes sometimes! Definitely talk to your doctor before taking advice from a dude on RUclips!
I'm wondering about your experience with your patience and irritability/anger. I am about... 7 months on T and find myself getting frustrated and irritated more... it's especially hard for me because I identify strongly as a caretaker and patience is a virtue that I need in my workplace and home life. What has been your experience? I am also starting to struggle with my skin! I am non-binary and am beginning to get a little facial hair, and trying new products to shave is harrowing! Thanks for making this video, it was very informative and entertaining as well!
wow, I would have never guessed that you are nervous about your eyes being 'too feminine' on their own. I only subscribed to you yesterday and your beautiful eyes were part of the reason for that -- I don't know if eyes can be gendered (they probably can since there are gendered q-tips...), but your gaze felt so comforting, inviting, and open that it just swept me off my feet. (I'm a gay guy, btw (I'll also turn 30 this year, crazy times) [or a trans women with a not-so-freshly-cracked egg; who even knows at this point; I just feel like I'm way too late and wish I were already 5 years 'in' =( ]) -- what I wanted to say: very masculine gaze that's melting hearts around the world! =]
Nice video and I'm looking forward to seeing your 5 year timeline video when it comes out. Also, like you, I have had very slow changes from testosterone. I'm close to 4 years on t, but don't see as many changes as some people do after 1 year. I have never taken finasteride, but I attribute my slow changes to the age at which I started my transition. I didn't start until I was 55, but hopefully eventually I'll see all of the changes I would like.
It’s nice to hear your experience on finestride because I’ve worried about my head hair. I’m a year younger than you I think. I don’t mind slower changes as a result so the hair loss prevention is nice. I look half my age. I’ll have to wait to transition until my 30s but I’m living out some bucket list things in the meantime and maybe in part due to my age I’ve already come to terms with certain things and have accepted myself even pre t. I love your content.
i see some ppl in the comments abt eye dysphoria and the "top part of your face" dysphoria aka mask dysphoria and genuinely thought i was the only one who feels this way😭😭 every single time i have to go in public i have the mask on and i feel so dysphoric and u feel like im going to get misgendered so hard [take note i havent been publicly misgendered with or without mask for over 2 years but dysphoira never fades i think] but ive still never gotten misgendered and still normal "hello sir" and "young man" and it baffles me. i dont think i pass this well like we all know and LoVE the classic "GIRL EYES" thought in the back of our brains but i still cease to have been misgendered because of it, or anything else for this matter
Thanks for sharing this major important information with us jackson ♥ It has been so helpful to hear about ur experience! It made me realize it's okay not to fit in the golden standard . Thank you so much 😊 Like for a thousand times👍
Hi Jacksonbird I'm fairly new to your channel and I love it so far!Would you ever consider talking more about the differences your experience between being gendered female vs male? if it is something you'd rather leave behind it's understandable its only a curiosity of mine
Hey do you still have voice dysphoria ? I transitioned in my 20s too and talking from my chest is something I still have to think about a lot. My voice is definitely not as deep as I like it unless I focus on it. Anyway, you’re one of my public trans idols and thank you for sharing your journey ❤️ 🏳️⚧️
i would have been on T for almost 10 yrs by now, however I have never stayed on it continually so I often wonder what changes might have come if I had stayed on it for this whole time. I often wonder if my voice would have gone lower then it did , would I be more bald, would i have been able to grow the epic beard I have always wanted. Thanks for sticking with it and sharing it with us.
hej, i just wanted to chime in and say that it helps tremendously to hear someboby talk about their expierience that started their tranistion relatively late in their live. i have been jumping around a lot between numerous ftm youtubers to get a better feeling for the whole thing, but the one bit that always irritates me is that most know that they wanted to transition in their teens. i am now the same age as you when you started your T-journey and i am still far away from knowing where i personally stand, apart from the fact that I am definitely not cis. when you go through adolescence, you have to sort out a lot in your life and learn how to adult and work with that fancy brain and body you were given, but that calms down at least a little when you are through the turbulence of hormones and feelings that is puberty (thats at least my impression). But now i feel like i kinda have to do it all over again, deciding if and when and hormones and/or surgeries and whathaveyou. other people seem to manage it just in one go, and by the point they are settled into their identity they also somewhat sorted their life path?! I know that both is of course highly fluctuating, as is all the aspects of humans, it just seems like those milestones often fit together and then play out roughly at the same time. anyway, what this whole ramble is about is: you make me feel less old with where i stand xD have a nice time of day
Congrats!!! You are amazing I just saw your video for the transgender books recommendation. Very helpful!!! I literally bought two of them right away after watching that video haha thanks a lot
I transitioned back in 2011 and have been on and off T for 10 years. I also have epilepsy but was well controlled (seizure-free) up until my transition. I went off hormones to see if the seizures would stop. Unfortunately, they didn’t but my doctor said it was safe to go back on as the hormones was not the cause. Years later we discovered that finasteride had dramatically lowered my threshold and increased seizures. PLEASE IF YOU HAVE EPILEPSY DO NOT TAKE FINASTERIDE WITHOUT FIRST HAVING A THOROUGH DISCUSSION WITH YOUR DOCTOR. This is not the case for everyone and I do not claim to be a medical professional. This drug does increase epileptogenic activity in the brain and should be throughly discussed with your healthcare provider
Probably should do a quick search on "post-finasteride syndrome" and make sure you know the symptoms in case any pop up for you. I very briefly took saw palmetto (DHT blocker) and it made my period come back INSTANTLY so I got right off it. At 3.5 years I do not have much more facial hair than you even though I barely touched DHT blockers and I suspect I come from much hairier stock being latinx. I don't seem to respond any more to weight lifting than I did pre-T. The voice drop let me pass briefly as long as my hair was short, but I like long hair. I was counting on my beard to make me pass, but just like you, no one can see my beard now! And my hair is long enough to tie up and I refuse to cut it because it took a year and half to get here. I've been working on my voice and working out and I hope that's going to help...
5 months on T and relate to "you will be sweatier, hairier and smellier than before" literally dealing with this now... now if only my voice could finally drop
As soon as you said that you often well up over happy moments I said out loud "yeah same, that stupid golden buzzer." Then you said it and I was like wowwwww what a moment i've been so validated hahahah
Hey Jackson, I have an awkward question for you and I was wondering if you had the answer. I identify as Genderfluid, so sometimes I go by Cami and other times I go by Dan, and I like the pronouns to be changed. I tell people white shoes mean I'm Dan and black shoes mean I'm Cami. So, I was curious if you had an answer for this: I hate walking into the girls locker room and bathroom at school when I don't feel feminine. Do you know if the school is allowed to let me use the boys locker room and bathroom when I go back? I hope to hear back from you. Cami-Dan
I 100% understand the eye thing. Somebody once told me that the reason they would clock me as trans was because of my feminine eyes, and it was ALL OVER after that. I used to love my eyes, but now they’re an insecurity of mine. 😕
I think part of you expecting the change earlier is that you always see change in others more clearly than you do in yourself. So you expected to have your one year change the same impact as the one year change in other people? Does that make sense?
Dude I'm also 5 years on T (well, in June) and the dysphoria goblin in my brain ALSO screams "GIRL EYES! GIRL EYES!" at me whenever I catch a glimpse of just the top half of my face. I have a full beard on the bottom half. I think because our eyes don't really change with transition it can be something WE recognise from pre-transition but other people would never think about it. But solidarity with the brain goblins.
@@herrickinman9303
dysphoria isn't commonly referred to as an "attack", that's:s more a characteristic of panic, you knoe night on nothing about the original commenter (Felix, I presume), you clearly do not understand the motivation behind transition and care not to learn them. why do you give enough of a shit to comment? why would you care what a fellow man is doing with his mind when it has absolutwly no effect on you?
@@herrickinman9303 Do you like just click on trans-related videos to shitpost & preach? Any established association or "scientific understanding" of the trans experience is by nature flawed, biased, and incomplete. That's why people like Jackson make videos like this - there is so much we don't know, & so much that changes from person to person. Just because it's something others can't understand or have language for yet doesn't make it any less real. If you don't believe trans issues are valid & important then I doubt there's much any of us could do to convince you. But if your commenting habits are any indication, I suggest taking a deep look within as to why invalidating the experiences & reality of trans folks appeals so much to you.
ruclips.net/video/CDRQ9a_nvZ4/видео.html
Watch that and tell me what you think. I'm curious if you'd like it
Very true, you can still see his girl eyes.
I think nice eyes are Not a Girl or Boy thing….some people are just lucky enough to have Nice Eyes! I am a cisfemale & I wish I had some of my cismale’s eyes with the long eyelashes & all. Perhaps a different shaped glasses or something could cause the desired look.
So you don't get misgendered while wearing a mask, try drawing a mustache on the mask. Hell, go overboard with it. Draw a ridiculous handlebar mustache with a pointy evil-twin goatee.
David Farrey as someone who embroidered mustaches onto masks they look a bit better if you give them a little bit of a mouth. Even if its just a line/something simple and cartoony. Otherwise without just having the hovering mustache can look weird and more silly.
That mustache though 10 outta 10 jack is the 1% that can pull it off.
agreed that was the first thing i thought
Jackson bird you have the most kindest heart and soul than anyone else on this earth please don't ever change it I beg you.
@Based Log why
The whole experimentation thing is weird. For years I identified as non-binary but the further I get in my transition, the more I feel like a dude. I don't know if it's about my own thoughts on gender or gender roles, or about other people's expectations of me or getting older or what. But the feeling has definitely changed. And I'm not even on hormones yet. It really puzzles me.
I agree! I started taking T three months ago and I wanted to achieve a more androgynous appearance as a nonbinary person. But the more changes I get, the more changes I want. I originally thought I didn't want facial hair and now I kinda dig it?? It's interesting for sure.
Same, I indentifyed as Non Binary for like 4-5 months, because I 100% am not a woman but the idea of being a man, like the grown ones didnt appeal to me. But it changed and its been 2.5 years now and I know I am a guy
Wow, 5 years?? I distinctly remember being 13 and watching your coming out video on the way home from school one day. I knew I was trans but I didn't think I'd ever be able to come out. I remember watching all the T update videos and wondering if I'd ever get to that point. Flash forward to now, I came out, I'm starting college in the fall, and will be starting T soon. I know it's a bit silly and cheesy, but being able to see you just living your life, happily as a trans guy gave me a lot of hope back then.
So yeah, thank you for being visible and sharing your story (+ that bit of dad-like advice at the end of the video) and I'm glad you're doing well, aside from the craziness that has been this pandemic.
I was 13 as well!
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this video helped me more then i thought. I'm 1y4m on T. and well i don't pass. but the most important thing for me is that i can still find happiness even when i don't pass. i still like the changes and feel at peace when i'm by myself. and i never thought i would find that. I have 5 dark facial hairs and am hella shot (5'2). change did take a long time for me. I have been noticing that changes are coming but they came really late. as in the most changes started when i hit the 1 year mark. my voice didn't drop until i was at least 8 months on T (i did get to a male range). My body has reshaped itself a little but that has been something i started noticing just a month and a half ago. so finding people online who didn't have a full beard after 5 moths on T is so reassuring.
Same... my voice dropped 2 years on T and my passing needed also 2 years to happen.
I highly doubt you remember me but I met you when you were about 3 months on T and getting to see you grow into the man you are has been such an honor
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I dunno if this is helpful, but as a cis guy I started growing ear hair in the latter half of my 20s. (turning 30 this month) Also my beard is still growing in lol... it's taken years and years for my mustache & beard area to connect and become thicker. My cheeks are still really thin though. I dunno if that will ever properly grow in. My mustache has thickened in my 20s and beard hair has started to grow very slowly further down my neck. It's about to the bottom of my Adam's apple and I don't think it will grow much further. Lastly... back hair is becoming more of a thing as I enter my 30s. Le sigh. For context I started going through puberty at like 13.
All this to say that if you're still waiting on changes don't give up.
Actually I was going to make a similar comment, in the 6 years I've been dating my boyfriend (cis hispanic male) I've seen him going from almost no back hair to noticeable patches of hair. He is now entering his 30's and the patches are merging together!! So I think it might be an age thing. In case an extra experience might help?
Ah yes, second puberty. When our body decides to make hair grow EVERYWHERE and forgets how to properly metabolize. Hello, dad bod.
Thanks for sharing!
Cis man in my late thirties here, ditto on the nose and ear hairs, but even my eyebrows now need grooming. Also, I developed chest hair in my early thirties, didn't have it before in my 20s. Also, I've only recently started shaving with razor blades and notice that my beard is thicker and coarser now. Before I used to just trim with an electric shaver.
@@lilygarralon7926 I always joke that the hair migrates from a man's head to his back :D
You're actually from my hometown apparently but that makes me so happy to know that you're from a... judgmental area (that area is a strange one and has made me feel like I needed to be a certain way most of my life) and able to come out and be authentic to yourself. Your situation is very similar to me and it gives me hope. Thanks for making your videos and being so chipper about it.
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oh my gosh thank YOU for talking about finasteride--literally everything you were talking about in terms of periods and changes applied to me and my journey the past 4 years and I just never linked it, but hearing you talk about it, it just clicked that the same thing was happening to me. Thank you SO much for bringing that up
I was like "Oh, that can't be right." But no, the first video l watched of yours was Coming Out. That's such a long time, dang.
wow the last time i was this early was when i was born
I can relate to this on a spiritual level 😅
You are amazing. I have two amazing people in my life that are trans male as well. And they are all doing spectacular in their own journeys. Lesson for everyone- support your trans friends. They may just be a good friend of yours or someone you’ve known and loved for years. I am unbelievably proud in both of them in everything they’ve accomplished in their lives, and I love them even more as friends for the young men they’ve become. Both have incredibly supportive families, and I couldn’t be happier for them. I really hope both of them find your channel because you have such clarity and transparency and are just you.
Not entirely sure why The Algorithm recommended this at me, as a blah-blah straight cisgendered male*, but this video was still compelling and thoughtful throughout, so it's been time well spent. Thanks, Jackson!
(*But I do have long beautiful curly hair that girls are often kinda jealous of, and I too was "ladies'ed" this August as well for just that reason. So at least we share that in common! ;p )
it's crazy, i started t not even a year ago and at like 7 or 8 months i stopped doing voice updates because i simply forgot. i keep forgetting i'm trans and then it pops up in random moments and i'm like: oh shit that's a things ooops lol :D
For some reason I read it on charges dropped afer five years. I was like "five years? charges? About what??"
He transitioned to hide from the government and convince them he’s his own twin brother. The government has officially dropped the charges of the crimes he committed pre T
I've been on T for 5.5 months now and I had some symptoms come really early, some come when the doctor said they should and some I am still hoping desperately for. I initially wasn't going to go on T because I am scared of needles but now I do my own injections (it's still terrifying but I manage). The biggest change for me is that I feel more like myself since starting T and I am looking forward to that continuing!
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Jack, this was such a beautiful video. My first video of yours was when you came out as trans! It's been remarkable to watch you grow and change and getting to meet you at Yule Ball in Boston. So happy for you!!
Wow. I watch your videos from time to time and I'm so happy to see you with facial hair now! Time flies, I guess last time I watched one of your vids I was not on T yet and I'm now four months on T.
Good luck to those who are currently struggling to get hormones or surgeries, I hope the best for y'all. You are legitimate, whether you want hormones, surgeries or not.
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I also had negative effects on Finasteride. It made me feel really weird: paranoid, anxious, insomnia, confusion, depression, memory loss, headache.
My pain killer and anti-depressant, pregabalin made me gain weight going from 165 to 210Lb. Not much help from back pain caused from pressurized disks resting on damaged nerve endings made wore with the heavier weight. Pregablin also caused me extreme sweating, paranoia, nausea.
I talk about all this in one of my transition videos. I'm glad to hear you talk about this too and that you are doing better now. Stay safe.
I know how it sucks looking young when your actually more mature, educated, and experiemced than you're being treated. I started hrt at 35 and eventually you'll look your age. It may take some time. I'm now 43 and feel like I finally kinda look 43. But it also sucks going from looking 18 to looking 40 - something. I lost my whole 30s in the process. I also lost my boyhood by not being allowed to transition. So there sometimes a lot of pain and greeving to go through. Just know you're safe now, and thats whats important.
I cried a couple times during this video. Can’t wait until I’m old enough to start T
I'm so on the fence about going on T. I really want to, but also don't. Theres so much I want from it, and so much I don't!
Watching videos like this help, giving me information with a point of view, and different experiences, and not just words on a screen.
I still don't know, I'm the most indecisive person ever, but I love seeing the update videos from people, nonetheless. Thanks for the update!
And Happy Early Birthday!
Hey I don't know if this will help but my advice (I'm 14 tryna get on T currently) is to not go on T unless you're 100% sure you're ok with all the changes cuz there are some you can't reverse or avoid. You don't needa get it right away and if you're still unsure maybe go on hormone blockers so you don't gotta worry bout getting more female 'stuff' and kinda procrastinate the decision. Good luck:)
If you're indecisive in the way I am/was, you might never be 100% sure about the effects of T. My advice is that you don't have to be 100% sure about T. You have to be 100% sure about *going on* T. You have to be sure you'll be happy with your choice, even if you don't like the consequences of that choice.
In my case, I hit a point where I wasn't sure I would be happy with T 5 years down the line, but I couldn't be more sure about T without actually trying it, and I couldn't tolerate NOT taking T anymore. I decided that even if in the end I wished for my old voice/body back, I would be able to stand by my decision. I took a low dose my entire first year, to give myself as much opportunity as possible to think over whether I wanted to keep going. I also did gels instead of shots, so that every day I had the choice whether to keep going forward with this. That was about 3.5 years ago, and so far I'm still on T.
So, coming months late to the game with this since for some reason this is where my quarantine binging ended up this evening.
I just wanted to send some love and say this is totally okay and probably more normal than the videos from trans RUclips let on. For me, I spent 2 years deciding whether to go on hormones after coming out. I spent 3.5 deciding if I wanted top surgery (plus another 6 months on a waiting list for surgery). I didn't go into either decision 100% sure. In fact, I remember being rolled into the operating room as they were about to put me under being terrified I'd regret it.
It's 6 years later now. Those two decisions were the two best decisions I've made in my life thus far (just after the decision to come out at all of course). After years of researching, weighing pros/cons, talking to my therapist, etc, both I just had to make with my gut, not my head. Sometimes, that's what you just have to trust. Which is shit cause it's really hard to do.
Anyway, I hope this gives you some solace, or at least some peace of mind knowing that the indecisiveness on this is not just you. It's a big life decision. Everyone has shit they don't want out of it (I dare you to find someone that really wants to just flip a coin on going bald when they could avoid it). But if your gut is saying it will make shit better, make you happier and make it easier to live in this world, go with that.
I'm three years on T this month, and I also think that where I am now is where I thought I would be one year on T. I think one of the reasons for that is the way people talk about T. People say most of the changes happen within the first year, and most youtubers stop doing monthly updates after the first year. And for some changes it's true, but I've definitely grown body and facial hair, and I've had enough other changes in just the last year that I feel MUCH more comfortable now than I did after Year One. And honestly, I'm still waiting on more fat redistribution and stuff. So yeah, I felt that when you said it. ALSO I was 14 when you came out, and had only told my mom at that point, so seeing your video at 14 right before I came out made me feel like I was less alone, especially in a small town where I never really had any trans friends. I'm so glad you're at a point where you're feeling happy and confident. Congrats on five years, Jack!
"What's your favorite man smell?"
"GUNMETAL."
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Hey Jackson! I’m 7 yrs on T and throughout my transition ur vids have helped out a lot and ur awesome! Just wanted to say!
Thank you for making videos like this. I'm a little over 1 year on T and I've had to stop following other trans people online because I kept seeing one kind of body type of people with way active lifestyles that pass quicker in transition, and I just don't see others like me often.
CW: Periods
I would like to say for people who may still get their periods while being on T for a while without having conflicting medications, I'm 3.5 years on T and even with nothing conflicting, my period never went away, it just got really irregular (I don't have it now because my endo put me on a progesterone pill that stops it but even that took like 6 months to work) so if you're new and still experiencing it, know that this can happen and it's not just you, everyone reacts differently to HRT
I came back to your channel because I was watching another trans RUclipsr and remembered you exist, and found this video, and damn time flies. I was subscribed 5 years ago, remember you coming out and starting testosterone, it’s incredible to see your journey!
Wow 5 years! 🤩 I just hit my year mark on T and finished watching all of your update vids in order 😊 Idk if you can hear it, but I noticed after watching the 3 year video that I do hear a difference in your voice between then and the 5 year video, and I think that’s really cool :)
Finally someone with a similar experience of mine. I’m 2y on T and feeling hopeless and suicidal for not passing. Knowing other guys that went through this helps me a little bit. I’m sick of videos of guys passing at 6 months on T and having a super deep voice with 1 year.
Thank you so much for this video. You are always very honest and I appreciate it very much. I really needed this especially the last two points of the video. I am really feminine in reality but I can't express it yet because I get misgendered daily by my family so I try to be as masculine as possible to feel valid.
And oh my god I relate to your last point. I'm 8 months on T, I know you might think "that's not much", but the changes have been so slow, that I'm pretty sure it's not going to drastically change anytime soon. I'm going to look pretty much like this on my 1 year mark. I'm 23 and I see younger guys 1 year on T having full beards and stuff like that and it makes me feel really insecure. I have to accept the fact that my transition is different (as everyone's is) and appreciate the changes that have happened instead of complaining of what hasn't.
Everyone is different and valid, much love to all my trans brothers, sisters and enby siblings 🏳️🌈
Congrats on 5 years on T!
i'm a (mostly?) cis woman but i appreciate how educational these videos are! i know you're just one person, but hearing about the more unexpected changes is really interesting. like the stuff about sweating and smelling, or not crying- it's not just "ugh guys are gross and don't shower enough" or "men think they aren't allowed to cry", it's an actual physiological thing caused by testosterone! i mentioned that to my (transwoman) housemate because she was having A Time with emotions when she first started on hormones. it's just an estrogen thing apparently lol
i will start t on saturday. it feels unreal and i'm so fucking excited, and grateful to all my fellow trans siblings who have been out there sharing and educating. so thank you so much, jackson, you are one of those thanks to whom i've felt more and more empowered to start my journey. :)
I'm 6 months on T and hearing that changes can take longer than u think and seeing someone at 5 years on T acknowledging that is really important I think. idk I find myself always comparing to the people who get really fast changes and I think a reminder to be patient is important as well as acknowledging that wherever you're at thats okay
Great video. Miss playing against you at Geeks Who Drink in Astoria. Glad to see you are doing so well.
I just had my 1 year on T anniversary during the pandemic too. I didn't expect to be celebrating this milestone during times like these! Your video is so great though and I really appreciate the realness and honestly. Thank you for sharing! ... also very reassuring to hear that you can cry now. It's been over a year and I haven't been able to cry once yet!
Glad I found your channel. I'm one month on T tomorrow :) The patience thing is so important. Not that I thought I was going to have changes after day one haha, but changes will take a lot of time and learning to be patient with the slow process is vital
I also learned pretty much everything I know from trans men and non-binary people who make RUclips videos. When I expect medical professionals to speak candidly about bodies and the changes to bodies on T, they haven't been as candid as the content creators I've been watching. And it's sad because I want my doctor to be as candid as possible. I know a lot of people don't want that and they are super valid for not wanting their health care providers to be candid.
Also, I'll probably binge your content over the next few days lol Cheers
Jack, I really like how you approach topics and how insightful you speak. Will you buy yourself the mindful masculinity book? I'm not from the US, so ordering it for me is a bit more expensive and I want to see some reviews beforehand. And I like your approach to masculinity and stuff a lot.
Marek Z
Depending on where you live and stuff: I sometimes buy books used so they're cheaper.
Just a thought in general; you'll know best if that works for you
Thank you for this video. It is hard not to compare yourself to other transgender people sometimes, but hearing different stories and seeing that everybody reacts differently to HRT is so important. For me, my voice was the first change I notice, anout 6-8 weeks after the first shot. But that might have been because I had a deeper voice to begin with. On the other hand I did not grow any body hair whatsoever because of genetics, which is often one of the first changes a lot of transgender guys report. Everybody is different, and though it can be hella frustrating sometimes it is also normal and changes will come, just be preoared you might not get everything you wish for, or maybe just later than others. Be safe, be you, and keep up the fight, you will get there.
I see Jackson's entire personality and it's like all the transition helpful resources were made for him. It was just so meant to be.
From a straight married 33 year old woman with two kiddos who for some reason was recommended this channel 😂 I wouldn't think of you as looking like girl at all, your eyes don't give you away. My husband has big brown 'girly' eyes and fantastic eye lashes.. So jelly.. last time I checked he's always been a dude 😂, but seriously your a very attractive man! Your eyes just make you more attractive 😊♥️
I'm so envious of how quickly your voice dropped like holy crud! 9 months and I still have a girly voice! And i'm MAD. It's so wierd how T is so different for everyone. I mean in my case I have lost the estrogen swelling (oedema), my hips have gotten a bit smaller and my waist thicker and body hair is nuuuuts but I always had a lot of body hair anyway. I'm still waiting to pass even once *sigh* I still get "m'aam" and "miss" constantly and it's disheartening honestly. at 35 i still get mistaken for a teenager, but so did my father well up into his 40s lol. It's shortness and a round ol' face. Definitely found the not being able to cry really interesting, I have to really try to FORCE those tears out and oh man it's hard. It kinda hurts! I wonder if the reason why we think it'll be quicker is because a lot of the guys we see DID get faster results, either because genetics or because of transitioning in their teens anyway. I do find it disheartening at times to not have the big changes and I really would love to be at a point where I passed regularly but I acknowledge it's a fair way off and genetically I may simply not be lucky enough to lose a lot of the softness that leads to me being read as female. That's just life though isn't it? And the mental and physical benefits of T have made such a difference for me that I can't say it's been a waste even if I always get misgendered for the rest of my life. I'm not in pain anymore so ... yeah.
I’m super excited to start t in around a month (lockdown permitting) so this is really nice to see the longer-term changes
I just found you through the youtube rabbit hole. I found your video from 2018 about being both trans and gay/bisexual. I also grew up in Texas and, though my family was quite open-minded, I also didn't know that gay trans-men existed lol. Now, I am 28 and am an openly non-binary trans person who is pan-romantic and ace. I know...it's a lot. When someone asks me for my "labels," I like to just say "I'm Evan. That's all."
Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you for making videos about being trans. It makes me, and I'm sure others, feel more confident in being who we are. (Also, where in Texas are you from? I'm from Denton, and though the town is pretty liberal, when I went to get my name changed, I was denied. They didn't say it was because I'm trans, but it was implied -_-)
Great information here! Thank you!!! I was taking Saw Palmetto supplements to help prevent hair loss, which I have read helps to block DHT, but I have since stopped because I felt it might be hindering any progress I could be making on testosterone. There is female and male pattern baldness in my family, so I just finally embraced the fact that I’m probably gonna be bald and shaved it all off, which was pretty darned liberating! Baldcafe on RUclips rocks for the going bald discussion and there are other videos about it which have been helpful. I’m almost 51 and only two months on T, so I’m new on this journey and excited for the changes that are happening and to finally be able to be 100% me! Thanks again for the good work you’re doing here!
Hi Jackson! I just finished reading your book, Sorted, and I wanted to tell you how much I liked it. You write and speak so eloquently. I appreciated the definitions and explanations you provided. I’m recommending your book to all my friends!
You are so thoughtful for adding the jumplinks!
Man it doesn’t feel like it’s been that long, wow.
I am a trans woman, but i have a lot of acne issues and wrinkles as well. I have found a daily treatment that has cured acne and majorly helps with oily skin and wrinkles.
1 cup virgin cold press coconut oil
6 lemons peeled (make lemon-aid with the rest!)
simmer peels and oil in a double boiler for 3 hours, store in a glass jar for up to 30 days. use daily on acne prone areas. can make skin sensitive to sunlight so best used before bed. i have a very deep forehead wrinkle that is almost invisible and zero acne or oily skin.
Hi Jackson! I just found your channel and wanted to say thank you for your thoughtful insights and reflections. I'm a trans woman going the other direction and I haven't had much window into the similarities and differences of the ftm experience. The finasteride story was interesting because all my mtf friends swear by it for the same reasons that you had to stop. I'm glad the topical substitute worked out well for you, though! Crying, too ... before I started HRT I couldn't cry no matter how I felt, and now it's like, the drop of a dime lol. So it's gotta have something to do with it. Anyway thank you again, I really appreciate hearing from someone further along in the transition process (even if it's a different transition)!
I have no experience with transitioning, so this may be something you have already explored and is part of vocal coaching. I will just share my experience, because the distinction might help you read man in a mask more clearly.
I am a woman with a very deep booming voice. I wanted to be able to sing at summer camp, satsangs and in just a casual singalong context, but always felt super awkward because my voice was so much louder, but not well tuned. I went to a vocal coach, and she taught me to sing through my nose. Initially it required a lot of conscious attention, but eventually found my groove and significantly improved. That said, I think you talk through your nose. If you learned to speak from your chest/throat, it would change the quality of your voice and read as less “different”.
I hope that is received with the positive intention that it was offered. It’s something that would never have occurred to me, and I acknowledge that I am projecting that’s a thing you don’t know about either. Just trying to be helpful.
You are a very cute guy with a nice voice. Nothing about my comment was saying that your voice is wrong, or that you should endeavor to change it. Just opening a discussion about subtle distinctions that contribute to the particular experience you seek.
I started watching your channel 5 years ago, actually when your coming out video was released. man, how time has gone by. so interesting to reflect on how your life (and mine) have changed
this was really helpful to hear! I'm currently in the process of taking labs and getting my first testosterone injection and I have been pretty nervous about it, I'm really excited but it's also a big step for me. Thanks for bringing up the less talked about stuff, it's really helpful.
I started watching you when you first came out. So, it has been so great to watch your journey. All of your videos have been so enlightening and I am happy to see you are happy and becoming the person you are. Thanks for the update!
If I go bald, in cool with it.
I feel like the only one, I'm sexy af without my hair.
I experimented and shaved bald during October and I am a snack. (Was a bad idea considering I haven't had started t yet at that time, so i looked considerably more femmy bald)
I don't know my biological family so I'm so scared I will bald
I agree wholeheartedly with the photos. I am finally meeting with the gender clinic and hoping to start t soon. I have been despairing for the last couple years that I would never get here and preparing for my first appointment, I looked back on photos. Even without t, I have changed so much. Just finding myself and being more comfortable with who I am has allowed me to look so different already and seeing that helped me feel better about where I'm at now. I can't even begin to imagine what that will feel like to look back at now in a year, two or five years after being on t!
So happy to watch your video, missed you. Thanks for sharing!
I’m 9mo on T and hopefully I’ll be getting a consult visit for top surgery next month assuming the quarantine isn’t still going. With that said I has made a world of difference seeing videos of others transitioning. I’ll be 29 this aug so I do feel late on the boat but I’m still excited for my journey. As for being read as younger, I totally get that I work at a middle school and I’m always mistaken as a student the look on parents faces when I tell them I’m 28 is both hilarious and endlessly frustrating.
You're an attractive man.
ruclips.net/video/Z-yTKy39OMg/видео.html&start_radio=1
ruclips.net/video/Z-yTKy39OMg/видео.html&start_radio=1
Oh, FFS. Thanks for my own light bulb moment re finasteride, I'm in a similar situation. It's so obvious when someone else mentions it.
Sorry you're going through that pal, but I'm glad I could help with the lightbulb moment. I couldn't believe I hadn't put two and two together until I heard someone else say it either. That's just how it goes sometimes! Definitely talk to your doctor before taking advice from a dude on RUclips!
@@jackisnotabird I'll chat with my doc at some point in the next.. er.. epoch? Whenever this lockdown is over. Thanks. :)
Happy early birthday! Also, I really appreciate that you put the jumplinks and cws. Thanks for the update and I hope you can still have a fun bday!
I'm wondering about your experience with your patience and irritability/anger. I am about... 7 months on T and find myself getting frustrated and irritated more... it's especially hard for me because I identify strongly as a caretaker and patience is a virtue that I need in my workplace and home life. What has been your experience? I am also starting to struggle with my skin! I am non-binary and am beginning to get a little facial hair, and trying new products to shave is harrowing! Thanks for making this video, it was very informative and entertaining as well!
wow, I would have never guessed that you are nervous about your eyes being 'too feminine' on their own. I only subscribed to you yesterday and your beautiful eyes were part of the reason for that -- I don't know if eyes can be gendered (they probably can since there are gendered q-tips...), but your gaze felt so comforting, inviting, and open that it just swept me off my feet. (I'm a gay guy, btw (I'll also turn 30 this year, crazy times) [or a trans women with a not-so-freshly-cracked egg; who even knows at this point; I just feel like I'm way too late and wish I were already 5 years 'in' =( ]) -- what I wanted to say: very masculine gaze that's melting hearts around the world! =]
Loving the facial hair! Happy 5 years!
This video made me so happy. I'm glad to hear things going well for you!
oh wow im hella early, also im so proud of you!!!
It said this was posted 9 hrs ago and the video was posted 8 he ago umm yes ur super early
Congratulations on your 5 year anniversary Jackson can't believe its gone so fast 🎊🎉👍😊🥂
Nice video and I'm looking forward to seeing your 5 year timeline video when it comes out. Also, like you, I have had very slow changes from testosterone. I'm close to 4 years on t, but don't see as many changes as some people do after 1 year. I have never taken finasteride, but I attribute my slow changes to the age at which I started my transition. I didn't start until I was 55, but hopefully eventually I'll see all of the changes I would like.
It’s nice to hear your experience on finestride because I’ve worried about my head hair. I’m a year younger than you I think. I don’t mind slower changes as a result so the hair loss prevention is nice. I look half my age. I’ll have to wait to transition until my 30s but I’m living out some bucket list things in the meantime and maybe in part due to my age I’ve already come to terms with certain things and have accepted myself even pre t. I love your content.
i see some ppl in the comments abt eye dysphoria and the "top part of your face" dysphoria aka mask dysphoria and genuinely thought i was the only one who feels this way😭😭 every single time i have to go in public i have the mask on and i feel so dysphoric and u feel like im going to get misgendered so hard [take note i havent been publicly misgendered with or without mask for over 2 years but dysphoira never fades i think] but ive still never gotten misgendered and still normal "hello sir" and "young man" and it baffles me. i dont think i pass this well like we all know and LoVE the classic "GIRL EYES" thought in the back of our brains but i still cease to have been misgendered because of it, or anything else for this matter
U should read those books on E-boks , i mean read em for others to listen to them . Cos your voice is so calming . I can listen to that for hours !
You are awesome! Thank you for sharing your story and being the amazing you! Happy early birthday!
Thanks for sharing this major important information with us jackson ♥ It has been so helpful to hear about ur experience! It made me realize it's okay not to fit in the golden standard . Thank you so much 😊 Like for a thousand times👍
Hi Jacksonbird I'm fairly new to your channel and I love it so far!Would you ever consider talking more about the differences your experience between being gendered female vs male? if it is something you'd rather leave behind it's understandable its only a curiosity of mine
Hey do you still have voice dysphoria ? I transitioned in my 20s too and talking from my chest is something I still have to think about a lot. My voice is definitely not as deep as I like it unless I focus on it. Anyway, you’re one of my public trans idols and thank you for sharing your journey ❤️ 🏳️⚧️
i would have been on T for almost 10 yrs by now, however I have never stayed on it continually so I often wonder what changes might have come if I had stayed on it for this whole time. I often wonder if my voice would have gone lower then it did , would I be more bald, would i have been able to grow the epic beard I have always wanted. Thanks for sticking with it and sharing it with us.
hej, i just wanted to chime in and say that it helps tremendously to hear someboby talk about their expierience that started their tranistion relatively late in their live.
i have been jumping around a lot between numerous ftm youtubers to get a better feeling for the whole thing, but the one bit that always irritates me is that most know that they wanted to transition in their teens. i am now the same age as you when you started your T-journey and i am still far away from knowing where i personally stand, apart from the fact that I am definitely not cis.
when you go through adolescence, you have to sort out a lot in your life and learn how to adult and work with that fancy brain and body you were given, but that calms down at least a little when you are through the turbulence of hormones and feelings that is puberty (thats at least my impression). But now i feel like i kinda have to do it all over again, deciding if and when and hormones and/or surgeries and whathaveyou. other people seem to manage it just in one go, and by the point they are settled into their identity they also somewhat sorted their life path?!
I know that both is of course highly fluctuating, as is all the aspects of humans, it just seems like those milestones often fit together and then play out roughly at the same time.
anyway, what this whole ramble is about is: you make me feel less old with where i stand xD
have a nice time of day
Congrats!!! You are amazing
I just saw your video for the transgender books recommendation. Very helpful!!! I literally bought two of them right away after watching that video haha thanks a lot
Love and support ❤️ I enjoy all of your content so much 😊
I completely feel you on the eye thing I have has dysphoria around my eyelashes and there is nothing gendered about eyelashes
I'm assuming you have longer lashes? If so, just know that men with longer lashes are considered sexy! Sorry if I've assumed incorrectly.
Your facial hair looks freakin awesome!!!
Your videos have helped me a lot, and I hope to look half as good as you do when I hit 5 years. :)
I transitioned back in 2011 and have been on and off T for 10 years. I also have epilepsy but was well controlled (seizure-free) up until my transition. I went off hormones to see if the seizures would stop. Unfortunately, they didn’t but my doctor said it was safe to go back on as the hormones was not the cause. Years later we discovered that finasteride had dramatically lowered my threshold and increased seizures. PLEASE IF YOU HAVE EPILEPSY DO NOT TAKE FINASTERIDE WITHOUT FIRST HAVING A THOROUGH DISCUSSION WITH YOUR DOCTOR. This is not the case for everyone and I do not claim to be a medical professional. This drug does increase epileptogenic activity in the brain and should be throughly discussed with your healthcare provider
I just got your book and I'm excited to start reading it!
im pre coming out do you guys have any advice
advice for passing or coming out?
@@elcolby2891 probably coming out
Probably should do a quick search on "post-finasteride syndrome" and make sure you know the symptoms in case any pop up for you.
I very briefly took saw palmetto (DHT blocker) and it made my period come back INSTANTLY so I got right off it. At 3.5 years I do not have much more facial hair than you even though I barely touched DHT blockers and I suspect I come from much hairier stock being latinx.
I don't seem to respond any more to weight lifting than I did pre-T. The voice drop let me pass briefly as long as my hair was short, but I like long hair. I was counting on my beard to make me pass, but just like you, no one can see my beard now! And my hair is long enough to tie up and I refuse to cut it because it took a year and half to get here.
I've been working on my voice and working out and I hope that's going to help...
5 months on T and relate to "you will be sweatier, hairier and smellier than before" literally dealing with this now... now if only my voice could finally drop
I love this. All your videos make me so happy!
As soon as you said that you often well up over happy moments I said out loud "yeah same, that stupid golden buzzer." Then you said it and I was like wowwwww what a moment i've been so validated hahahah
Ahhhh I’m early Also I’m proud of you!!!
Hey Jackson, I have an awkward question for you and I was wondering if you had the answer. I identify as Genderfluid, so sometimes I go by Cami and other times I go by Dan, and I like the pronouns to be changed. I tell people white shoes mean I'm Dan and black shoes mean I'm Cami. So, I was curious if you had an answer for this: I hate walking into the girls locker room and bathroom at school when I don't feel feminine. Do you know if the school is allowed to let me use the boys locker room and bathroom when I go back? I hope to hear back from you. Cami-Dan
I 100% understand the eye thing. Somebody once told me that the reason they would clock me as trans was because of my feminine eyes, and it was ALL OVER after that. I used to love my eyes, but now they’re an insecurity of mine. 😕
Don't let anyone shame you for watching Baby Ballroom - it's fascinating and the little kids are so cute and talented! :)
I start T next month! I'm so excited and nervous
I think part of you expecting the change earlier is that you always see change in others more clearly than you do in yourself. So you expected to have your one year change the same impact as the one year change in other people? Does that make sense?
He has such an amazing voice
Spilling the tea about T
I'm digging the mustache. It works well for him