Sunset's Scolding Scene rewritten (Friendship Games) - MLP 15.ai
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 16 окт 2024
- Bully Sunset's back at it again, just as Twilight is still getting involved in tense situations.
Just as usual.
#MLP #15ai #EquestriaGirls #MLPEG #mlp15ai
The original was more of Sunset letting out her frustrations on Twilight, while this rewrite is more like an adult teaching a child a lesson. Sunset's experience really shine through the last part, knowing that Twilight is not prepared in case she makes a mistake. It's a dark place and Sunset knows that.
Yeah cause she's been through that
Sunset's dialogue here sound more "responsible" and actually point out the wrong part of what Twilight has been doing. Good job, go work for Hasbro.
The original can be summed up as Sunset letting out her frustrations on Sci-Twi, but you have to remember:
If Rainbow didn't make it in time when that plant monster lunged at her, she'd be DEAD. So yeah, I understand her scolding there.
However, this rewrite shows something that I wish they expanded upon. Sunset is known for having a temper, but it's possible to keep yourself from being too emotional. Here, it combines her anger about Sci-Twi's knowledge of the device and her own experiences involving magic from before.
The frustrations are now her scolding Sci-Twi for not being prepared, not just projecting. Also, nice touch of Sci-Twi speaking less and less until she ran off. Sunset countered every excuse, so she had nothing to say back.
Love how Twilight doesn't just cry. It builds that moment. Slowly but surely Sunset tears into Twilight until she has no excuses.
Sunset's kinda right. Twilight had it coming. She was constantly lurking around with the device knowing what it is capable of. I loved how Twilight gradually speaks less, until she's left in tears.
Great rewrite as always!
The thing is, Sunset doesn't just bully you.
She bullies you with intelligence, which hurts a lot more.
You can tell Sunset was speaking from experience basically saying "if you keep doing this you'll end up like me. All it takes is a mistake."
That's what I was thinking
Seeing Sunset scolding somebody else for being irresponsible is just so satisfying because it shows how much she has matured
This really shows how much Sunset has grown, now taking a more mature approach to things. She lashes out here, but that's the result of being constantly stressed.
Also Scitwi's depiction here is more in line with a version of Sunset that lacks the endurance to admits her mistakes. Stating again and again that it wasn't her intention instead of taking the fault. Of course she's not being mean, but rather naive and that's why Sunset calls her out before she makes a big mistake.
Sunset really could have just obliterated Scitwi, but instead she gave her a harsh reality check, which isn't what she would have said in the past. She has grown.
Or how bout “how naive can you get twilight ? Look at you , you won the math conpetition it proves what your capable of you knew what you can do but … you knew what this tiny machine can do right ?” What do you think of this line ?
They're both trying to understand the magic of the human world, but while Sunset takes caution in her studies, Twilight jumps headfirst into studying magic, and continues despite it soon being apparent that she's in over her head, and that her device's portals are putting people in danger. Their approaches are also different, with Sunset, a more hands-on learner, focuses more on the empirical side of things, what causes the Rainbooms to transform, while she focuses on the magic itself, and is more interested in magic as a concept.
These videos really go to show how the right choices of words can be used to cram multiple things like character, personality and plot in a tightly written script. Each piece of dialogue isn't meant to only serve one purpose, but many.
What does a sentence say about the character who's speaking? What is their relationship to the other characters? How does it develop their journey? How does it tie back to the overall story?
There's also the amount of respect for the audience. How much you trust them to understand what's going on and be smart about what's said or implied. That's why there are times that simple gestures and expressions are enough.
I think these are the main reasons these rewrites are so good.
"You're supposed to be smart, Twilight. How about you start acting like it?"
Damn Sunset didn't need to go that far. But she absolutely nailed it.
"Think, Twilight!!! Think!!!"
Ah, I did expect Omniman's meme phrase to come up🤣, but anyway that was a great dialog variant nonetheless.
Sunset's having none of Twilight's bs like damn! I think I've never seen her go all out like this, even in your rewrites.
I just noticed something about your writing. The use of question marks.
It's quite frequent, yet it doesn't feel like it is. It's usually disguised as a way to setup the next line to carry more power and it's a constant build up and release of tension.
I love it!
Sunset speaking like a mother who's child got into trouble in school
In some way it feels like Sunset's talking to her past self and calling herself out. She sees that ambitious side of hers in Twilight and is now confronting it after having grown and matured.
Don't know if that's the case, but that's awesome to think about
Look at little Star Swirl junior. Gonna cry?
See ya chump
"You'll get your magic when you fix this damn device !"
-Bully Sunset
spiderman 3 meme
This goes to show, Sunset has really grown as a character, but can still make mistakes sometimes.
Dang Sunset, I think this reminds me of spring breakdown.
ai15 managed to do these voices pretty well. Neat.
Sunset sounds more sensible and mature, gosh better than the original. Awesome work, can't wait for more of the series!
I'm mean wasn't she still developing and had a tendency to lash out uncontrollably.
I love this rewrite especially the part when sunset is trying to tell her that she's done a mistake before but doesn't want her to end up making one like she did and she basically said that when she was against midnight sparkle.
And I also think if you haven't already that you should do that scene as a rewrite vs midnight sparkle.
I wonder how the rest of the movie could have gone from this re-write, since sunset actually lectured her instead of, well. Lashing out at her (if that's the right choice of words)
Damn that speech was drama incarnate
Oh wow... I think not even the writers knew how far Sunset could go
This was written fairly well, Alex.
Sunset was right. Twilight is reckless, but to spell it out to her in a therapeutic way 0:45, only to let her judgement of twilight get the best of her, is sadly common like this. afterwards twilight is overwhelmed and panics, because of it.
Twilight wants to understand but shes putting herself before others, even if she doesnt know. she doesnt solve things because shes afraid of doing so and is afraid of the way magic works even if she wants to understand direly, that's why at the end she turns into Midnight Sparkle, the more fearless and powerful version of herself, saying "you were right, I didn't understand magic, but I do now!" when she isn't nervous or afraid all the time, she can understand magic, just at the cost of hurting everyone around her and hurting the balance between the pony and human world.
Omg geez. She shouldn't be doing that but geez
I actually used quite a bit of Sunset’s dialogue from this video for my fanfic. It works really well. So thanks!
this is actually really well written! great job :]
Awesome good my dude this was pretty good I would rate it 100/10 🥰keep up the awesome work 👍
This was very good but...what if Someone told Sunset shimmer was being told off by Flash for bringing Magic into this world someone could've been killed? I understand that sunset Shimmer was trying to help twilight but I feel in my opinion this could go back to her and told her this, Oh so you think you are so smart huh Sunset? did you think about the other people you hypnotize all those student and maybe gave them nightmares? what about the time where your magic that you brought mind control everyone and even made me hurt Twilight Feelings? (this is what Flash might say if he was in the next episode if you want). I just first say that these are really good to watch and I love watching this very much, but again in my opinion I would like to see if Sunset was told off from Flash Sentry to tell her what he feels about this magic.
I would like to see Flash tell Sunset Shimmer that he wants to be a hero just like the girls but feels like he will never be a hero because he is just a nice guy and does not have a geode from Equestria, but someone wish to be one but instead gets a hug from the girls and telling him that he is a hero and does not need magic to be one.
I can imagine if someone animate/animatic on this scene (rewriting version), That would be so awesome!
Twilight still can't catch a break lol. Sunset twice, spike and Rainbow (rainbow counts right?)
Twilight yelly people: 4
Twilight: 1 (I'm talking about the scene in rainbow rocks with twiset staying up in the middle of the night)
Quality content like usual, keep it up
Any plans on doing a Rewritten Scene for any scene with Spike The Dog (Sci-Twi's Spike) in it?
I think he was WAY Underused in Equestria Girls, and he pretty much just becomes Background Noise after Friendship Games. It would be nice too see him Contribute in a Meaningful Way in EQG's Story, after saving Sci-Twi from being Mad with Power as Midnight Sparkle.
I had a certain idea as to how Spike could have had a bigger impact. His role as an emotional support dog could be a good angle to do it from.
I love these dude. Keep’em up
Oh cool I was going to work on the same thing but instead of twilight crying and running away she defends herself
That was much better🔅
@Alex MLP This might sound like a crazy suggestion, but you should totally write an extra scene where Cinch ends up receiving some kind of karmic justice from putting pressure on Twilight at the end of the movie.
I've been thinking about it, but unfortunately as a video itself, I cannot do it for now, since 15.ai hasn't added her voice yet. But I'm sure I'll be writing something with her once it does.
This is more better than the canon one. The canon one sounds more meaner than this one.
This was still mean but not that mean.
I think scenes like this would have actually worked better as a mid-way point for Sunset's development.
Maybe instead of having Sunset go from a mean bully to a delicate saint, they could have her start slowly by simply not being mean, then going into "rough but well intentioned".
Sunset scolding a student in a situation where they're doing something dangerous is a far more subtle way of driving the point home that Sunset is being nicer, to the point of convincing even other students that she's changed.
And THEN from there have her slowly become more delicate and sensitive until she becomes the Sunset we see in Rainbow Rocks.
Ya know? Because of how well the rewritten voice dialog here flows way better than the original one, I want to pass along the following section of the Pony Preservation Project Quickstart Guide, where it now has a section on Fifteen AI Emotional Contextualizers:
docs.google.com/document/d/1PDkSrKKiHzzpUTKzBldZeKngvjeBUjyTtGCOv2GWwa0/edit#heading=h.9yyn6qx78j28
One particular phrase that I personally picked up (which I don't think has been used by people yet) is:
"|I'm teaching you something."
E.G:
"Twilight? I think we need to have a talk.|I'm teaching you something.
i think I may have also prefected laughter, but I'll save that for a later comment if interested.
Sunset te pasaste pipipiii pero aun te aprecio pipipiii pipipiii
At least, Sci-Twi Actually Made An Attempt To Try To Understand The Magic Going Around At The School unlike Sunset Shimmer who just waited for someone else to solve it for her.
Yeah!!!
I said that's enough sunset
Interesting I thought the script was more more violent but I was actually wrong😅
🌅-😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠 Timmy don’t you dare !
Timmy-😢! 🌅 I didn’t 😢 too!
🌅-You’re supposed to be smart Timmy I shouldn’t be explaining this to you! You won’t stop today you got lucky!
Awesome and wonderful
She's right, though
seen on DVD part movie
Mavis Dracula: I’m sorry.
Lightning McQueen: don’t you dare!
Mavis Dracula: I didn’t mean to!
Lightning McQueen: you didn’t mean to? are you insane?!
Mavis Dracula: I was just trying to be like you. I wanted to do the same thing you did.
Lightning McQueen: so you can just run on the race car track and put yourself in danger? is that it?! Does anyone know you could get hit by race cars?!
Mavis Dracula: please, that’s not my intention! I swear!
Lightning McQueen: you know very well what your little girl friend does the fastest pit stop. yet you’re best friends around everywhere!
Vanellope: hey!
Lightning McQueen: I mean, I shouldn’t even be explaining this to you. You're supposed to be like Thomas the tank engine, Mavis. How about you start acting like him?
Mavis Dracula: I- I just-
Lightning McQueen: what? You thought you could just do whatever you want? That there would be no consequences?! Yes, today you got lucky. But what if something goes wrong? Can you pick yourself up? Can you handle the blame? Because as of right now… let me tell you from the bottom of my heart… that you won’t be able to.
I think the scene would have been better if twilight stood up for her self and called sunset out.
Dude! This is better than the movie! :P Well done man!
Could you do one of these with Fluttershy's Brutal honesty in tanks for the memories? I mean I know she was just trying to help but.. I feel like i'm one of a few fans who didn't like The way she did it.
😮
Better than the original, but let me add a little more to that. Have Luna suspend Twilight from the Games and Moon Dancer takes Twilight's place. Also, have Sunset hide or destroy Twilight's device.
How would we get the Midnight Sparkle climax?
Sunset has no right to get mad at Twilight like that
Actually she kinda does, Twilight knew what the device was capable of yet she was still carrying it around and it was putting people in danger.
This scene is fine the way it is but your rewrite makes this scene even stronger.