One time me and my girlfriend at the time went to a restaurant and there was an elderly couple there, sitting down holding hands. It was real nice to see. They looked at us and smiled and the lady said to my girlfriend "treat him good, he is a handsome man, women will like him". Of course, she didn't treat me good. She was the typical ditzy, attention-seeking and under developed modern woman. I used to always tell her, remember what the old lady said, and of course she didn't listen. Because the truth is, that message was for me, not her. It was my low standards keeping me with that chick. I needed to treat myself nice and dump her.
The fact is, what a person gives you, how they give it to you, how they talk to you, how they treat you is a direct reflection of HOW THEY SEE YOU. What you accept from them is how you see yourself, and many men, especially black men are conditioned as boys growing up to accept being debased, be self-deprecating, and have no expectations as to how they should be treated, and have it called being "humble" and "appreciative" because nobody has to do anything for them, while telling those boys and young men what they have to do for somebody else to be called " a man". They grow up accepting the bare minimum because that's the best they were told they were worth receiving.
I am Nigerian too. I have had a problem finding a fellow sista in the U.S, and I always wondered why. Then my uncle told me " one hand must wash another." I found this profound because my male and female friends in my very small circle are willing to help me as much as I help them. Wish I could find that in my significant other one day.
I 100% agree with this. There is a very weird push that having expectations on a man, even rigid and impractical expectations, is okay and should be expected and tolerated. At there same time, any expectation on a woman, even making a sandwich, is viewed as backwards and borderline psychotic. What this has yielded is men worrying about failing the "orange test" and women policing men for random bits of chivalry. There's a Nigerian comedian that did a skit where he was picking up a woman to take to nice restaurant. When he met her she was already outside waiting. He asked her to get into the car and she refused because she felt that he should get out and open the door. Nothing else mattered to her at that moment. He got out, opened the door, let her in and thought about it. Then opened the door, made her get out and left. My point is, there is no male equivalent to that behavior and she gained nothing from standing on such an impractical rule.
My Grandfather worked 35 years as a chef. He used to say that presentation of a meal was the most important component. "If it looks Great, it doesn't have to taste Great. Great food doesn't always equal a great meal." That being said, the meal on a paper plate is a much deeper rabbit hole than it appears to be at first glance. It basically comes down to two things. The first is the breakdown of the traditional family unit. We all ate at the table together when I was growing up, until I was around 12. That's when my mom decided to go full-time to get the college degree she gave up when she married my father. My two brothers and I had to wash our hands and sit at the table while she fixed our plates. No one ate until everyone was seated at the table with a plate of food in front of them. Table etiquette was enforced. No elbows on the table, glass on the left, hold your fork like this, cut your meat like this, taste it before you add salt and pepper. Paper plates were for barbecues and birthday cake. The second is a result of the first. A woman is a reflection a her mother, AND the men she has been with prior to you. I won't accept a meal on a paper plate, because my mother never fed me a meal on a paper plate. No exceptions. I've walked out of a few homes of women would be considered baddies because of this, because I know it gets much worse if I excuse what may seem to be Insignificant. The young men of today, specifically anyone born in 1990 or later have to stop accepting anything just so they can knock a female down tonight. What starts off as a after the club bust down can turn into a years long relationship that lacks a solid foundation. If a woman really likes you, assuming she's mentally healthy and not carrying any unresolved trauma around, she would go get two plates from her mom's cabinet to serve the meal, even if it was only fried chicken and ramen noodles. That fried chicken and ramen looks much more appetizing on a stoneware plate with real silverware than on a paper plate with a plastic fork. As MEN, if we want more from women, we must demand more, and stand firm on your beliefs, principles, and morals. This is called INTEGRITY, and integrity requires consistency. If you accept less than what you want, that is all you'll ever receive. I don't care how fine she looks, if she doesn't meet what you establish as your baseline standard, she's not the one for you. When she's for you, she'll click in just like a seat belt. You won't have to push, pull, and pry to make her fit. When you start approaching relationships in this manner, you'll get better outcomes, and if it goes left, more than likely it's your fault.
I'm not sure if this is a deal breaker. It depends. One of the reasons why I think modern-day relationships have gone sour is we are now in the age of making incidental things deal-breakers. I've been married for almost 17 years and some of this hyperfocused "mountain out of a molehill" is what's making a lot of folk single. We give very little grace to the most obscure things which deserve a bit more grace. if shit like this is a deal breaker for the average modern-day dater, then just stay single. You ain't ready for a long-term relationship or marriage.
The problem is culture and not race. Everything he's saying is culturally defined. If you aren't compatible culturally you will never get along racially. It's why certain black folks are getting the outcomes they are while others aren't.
Lol, i guess im the one on the other side of this. My wife always cooks for the family. Im very appreciative of her service and respect she shows me as her husband. I sit at the head of the table (which is my right as the head), my son sits at my right, and my wife is at the left. Everyone else sits along at the table. If we have friends over, they usually sit opposite of me. This actually isn't anything we ever discussed. it's just how we do it. I'm always served first, and i always say thanks. We usually only use actual plates on sunday dinners or holdiay meals. Paper plates are pretty quick and dont require to be washed. It's just more time efficient. When the paper plate thing was first going viral, i actually thought it was a joke, but people are dead ass serious, lol. Hey, to each their own. It's never been an issue in my house, so we just kept it pushing. Im thoroughly convinced the internet is NOT a real place.
I guess this is an example of knowing your man. I've been married many years and we use paper plates often. As you said, it is very convenient. If it was a big deal, he would have told me. 🤷♀
Hey Man, Just some info, I'm what people call an Afro Mexican, a Black native.. yes we are still around, can We as a people please go back to comprehending THIS whole thing is a battle of sexes? Because I'd really like to get back to creating the future, sincerely - A FATHER. 🙄🤦🏽
This is true for all people, but especially women. If you have the attitude that what ever amount of effort you give should be good enough. It says volumes about you & how you feel about the people you interact with. In romantic relationships, a desire to please directly correlates to how much you respect & care about the person you're with.
Before you even started I knew you were talking about a Bronx tale. The whole point is that men and women SHOULD SERVE each other. But right now women have been taught that men should serve women only
I agree in part to this perspective. I think the biggest miss in this is a separation of public and private behaviors. My issue with the boss analogy is there is an essence of public face vs private face that I think doesn't completely apply. "Paper" plates might not the best for everyday use but you definitely don't use it around company outside of a party setting. It's reminds me of the saying of "bring out the good china" when guest come over. Posting on the internet is a kine to inviting several strangers in your home at once. We are taught to show our best selves in public and glass/ceramic tableware is usually that.
When you say, "If your girl constantly puts your food on a paper/plastic plate, she does not respect herself." That applies the other way around too right? If that's the case, that means my bf doesn't respect himself.
I learned this about 5-6 years ago when I moved to Texas, I was dating a woman and she taught me This I been presenting ever since. (hint HINT fellas the panties FLY OFF when the food good and the presentation nice) And I became a snob watching and teaching women who don’t do it.
This is the new standard Lazy for you and Luxury for her. Great show yet again and your show with Denzel and the woman asking who cooks for you? was magnificent.
Paper plates are for bbq’s!!! I’ve NEVER seen my mother feed my Dad on paper plates. She took it so far, he had his own plates that were ONLY FOR HIS USE.
Naw bro. Subtle differences in how people perceive or do things that may be one way better or preferred than another It's not the same thing as disrespect. Putting food on a paper plate versus put it on a real plate maybe a preference but it certainly is not disrespect.
It highly can be disrespectful or belittling. Why a paper plate ?? ... if that can't be seen as disrespectful most little things during the Civil rights movement should just be forgotten
It's really just a cultural and/or preferential thing. My wife did worry about this while we were dating when she would bring me food because her dad wouldn't eat on any paper plates. It just wasn't something my family worried about so it wasn't an issue for me. As long as my plate is sturdy enough to hold my food correctly lol
@jaym6126 I would argue that by drawing a parallel between the offense of a paper plate vs a real plate and slights made during the Civil rights era, you'd have to also agree that you see both situations as a hostile environment in which the offense was deliberately made.
man f all lat...you gettin this paper plate...we don't do no dishes round here....the rest of the dialogue I agree...with the movie is a bronx tale by the way...
This is a conversation about maturity, class, and culture differences. The need to do Bronx tale type "tests" is very immature. If you have a certain level of expectations, why are you dating women who don't meet those expectations? Because you're concerned about silly "tests". Nigerian men, why are you dating women outside of your culture if you have these expectations?
It’s a damn standard if your food isn’t served on a glass plate, what the fuck is really going on, this is getting outta control, I get the point your making but damn
The note you ended on is powerful. As an adult I can't comprehend why the western societies are now the way they are. Cultural dysfunctions of the past are treated as an excuse for more deliberate dysfunction today. Just going off on men's nature, we already love a woman for just being a woman. The level of relationship where a man should put a woman beyond every other woman in his life should require nothing less than that woman distinguishing herself to that man. And women even in Nigeria today are beginning to forget what this means. Even if a man can get a positive response from her, a response is inadequate because chances are that through his actions he can get a positive response from other women. There has to be a proactive component of her action that communicates value which distinguishes her from other women. And that would be because she values herself enough to stand out.
I'd worry more about if the food was any good than the plate it came on. Presentation is nice but substance is everything. A man can be a millionaire driving a Toyota or live paycheck to paycheck driving a Rolls.
I'm Nigerian and i disagree, cultural differences are a thing, and its disrespectful from Nigerian culture to see our way as the only way, we have to be able to understand other people do things differently and thats okay.
It's a Black diaspora. It in every culture be it americans ,Carribeans etc . Paper plates hold a disposable and unimportant ideal. I can bet money no matter where you go you'll find a China cabinet of sorts with the good dishes
It's 2024 almost everybody has a dishwasher, if your giving a in-law a dinner plate it should be a special event. As a black American it kind of backs the claim that our people don't understand the value of family anymore.
And i will have to disagree, this is not a culture thing. This is a degradation of the nuclear family within that American black community manifesting itself.
Funny, easy to say when you don't have a big family. Are you guys the ones washing all these fancy plates? I grew up with a big Nigerian family and we all used paper plates, to lessen the work load from our mom. This is like a man saying he wants 7 kids, cuz he won't be the one carrying them for 9 months and birthing them in pain.😂
Развлечения
One time me and my girlfriend at the time went to a restaurant and there was an elderly couple there, sitting down holding hands. It was real nice to see. They looked at us and smiled and the lady said to my girlfriend "treat him good, he is a handsome man, women will like him". Of course, she didn't treat me good. She was the typical ditzy, attention-seeking and under developed modern woman. I used to always tell her, remember what the old lady said, and of course she didn't listen. Because the truth is, that message was for me, not her. It was my low standards keeping me with that chick. I needed to treat myself nice and dump her.
3:48 that is straight from a Bronx tale. Classic movie💪🏽
Women should have the same respect and attention to detail with their man, as they do when giving a presentation to their boss at work.... 💯
The fact is, what a person gives you, how they give it to you, how they talk to you, how they treat you is a direct reflection of HOW THEY SEE YOU. What you accept from them is how you see yourself, and many men, especially black men are conditioned as boys growing up to accept being debased, be self-deprecating, and have no expectations as to how they should be treated, and have it called being "humble" and "appreciative" because nobody has to do anything for them, while telling those boys and young men what they have to do for somebody else to be called " a man". They grow up accepting the bare minimum because that's the best they were told they were worth receiving.
The cooking of the meal is more important than what it’s served on .
Imagine buying a Ferrari just to park it in the traphouse
You still don’t understand
Maybe I'm different because I told my wife she doesn't have to bring my food on a glass plate every time. I'm the one washing the dishes 😅
True but she's your wife and you have an understanding.
That part. Because you're washing the dishes you know it's an extra task that isn't always necessary.
I am Nigerian too. I have had a problem finding a fellow sista in the U.S, and I always wondered why. Then my uncle told me " one hand must wash another." I found this profound because my male and female friends in my very small circle are willing to help me as much as I help them. Wish I could find that in my significant other one day.
Not in this country they're unicorns at this point
I 100% agree with this. There is a very weird push that having expectations on a man, even rigid and impractical expectations, is okay and should be expected and tolerated. At there same time, any expectation on a woman, even making a sandwich, is viewed as backwards and borderline psychotic. What this has yielded is men worrying about failing the "orange test" and women policing men for random bits of chivalry.
There's a Nigerian comedian that did a skit where he was picking up a woman to take to nice restaurant. When he met her she was already outside waiting. He asked her to get into the car and she refused because she felt that he should get out and open the door. Nothing else mattered to her at that moment. He got out, opened the door, let her in and thought about it. Then opened the door, made her get out and left.
My point is, there is no male equivalent to that behavior and she gained nothing from standing on such an impractical rule.
My Grandfather worked 35 years as a chef. He used to say that presentation of a meal was the most important component. "If it looks Great, it doesn't have to taste Great. Great food doesn't always equal a great meal."
That being said, the meal on a paper plate is a much deeper rabbit hole than it appears to be at first glance.
It basically comes down to two things. The first is the breakdown of the traditional family unit. We all ate at the table together when I was growing up, until I was around 12. That's when my mom decided to go full-time to get the college degree she gave up when she married my father. My two brothers and I had to wash our hands and sit at the table while she fixed our plates. No one ate until everyone was seated at the table with a plate of food in front of them. Table etiquette was enforced. No elbows on the table, glass on the left, hold your fork like this, cut your meat like this, taste it before you add salt and pepper. Paper plates were for barbecues and birthday cake.
The second is a result of the first. A woman is a reflection a her mother, AND the men she has been with prior to you. I won't accept a meal on a paper plate, because my mother never fed me a meal on a paper plate. No exceptions. I've walked out of a few homes of women would be considered baddies because of this, because I know it gets much worse if I excuse what may seem to be Insignificant. The young men of today, specifically anyone born in 1990 or later have to stop accepting anything just so they can knock a female down tonight. What starts off as a after the club bust down can turn into a years long relationship that lacks a solid foundation. If a woman really likes you, assuming she's mentally healthy and not carrying any unresolved trauma around, she would go get two plates from her mom's cabinet to serve the meal, even if it was only fried chicken and ramen noodles. That fried chicken and ramen looks much more appetizing on a stoneware plate with real silverware than on a paper plate with a plastic fork.
As MEN, if we want more from women, we must demand more, and stand firm on your beliefs, principles, and morals. This is called INTEGRITY, and integrity requires consistency. If you accept less than what you want, that is all you'll ever receive. I don't care how fine she looks, if she doesn't meet what you establish as your baseline standard, she's not the one for you. When she's for you, she'll click in just like a seat belt. You won't have to push, pull, and pry to make her fit. When you start approaching relationships in this manner, you'll get better outcomes, and if it goes left, more than likely it's your fault.
A Bronx Tale
No standards or expectations in our relationships are never discussed, which equals high failure rates
So true
I'm not sure if this is a deal breaker. It depends. One of the reasons why I think modern-day relationships have gone sour is we are now in the age of making incidental things deal-breakers. I've been married for almost 17 years and some of this hyperfocused "mountain out of a molehill" is what's making a lot of folk single. We give very little grace to the most obscure things which deserve a bit more grace. if shit like this is a deal breaker for the average modern-day dater, then just stay single. You ain't ready for a long-term relationship or marriage.
I appreciate this Word fam.
I just told a woman this a few hours ago! I simply have nothing for a woman who can’t or is unwilling to give me what I want.
Agreed especially with the point about American men of the diaspora being conditioned to accept mediocrity.
The problem is culture and not race. Everything he's saying is culturally defined. If you aren't compatible culturally you will never get along racially. It's why certain black folks are getting the outcomes they are while others aren't.
That last part is so damn true it hurts
Thumbnail brought back memories 😂😂 the paper plate paradox
Oh this is literally just a reupload 😂
I do not use paper plates in my home. And I won't expect a woman serving my food on one either
As a man you suppose to let your woman know all the flags. I would of made sure she knew this before introducing her to my mom in the first place
Lol, i guess im the one on the other side of this. My wife always cooks for the family. Im very appreciative of her service and respect she shows me as her husband. I sit at the head of the table (which is my right as the head), my son sits at my right, and my wife is at the left. Everyone else sits along at the table.
If we have friends over, they usually sit opposite of me. This actually isn't anything we ever discussed. it's just how we do it. I'm always served first, and i always say thanks. We usually only use actual plates on sunday dinners or holdiay meals. Paper plates are pretty quick and dont require to be washed. It's just more time efficient. When the paper plate thing was first going viral, i actually thought it was a joke, but people are dead ass serious, lol. Hey, to each their own. It's never been an issue in my house, so we just kept it pushing. Im thoroughly convinced the internet is NOT a real place.
I guess this is an example of knowing your man. I've been married many years and we use paper plates often. As you said, it is very convenient. If it was a big deal, he would have told me. 🤷♀
Hey Man,
Just some info, I'm what people call an Afro Mexican, a Black native.. yes we are still around, can We as a people please go back to comprehending THIS whole thing is a battle of sexes?
Because I'd really like to get back to creating the future, sincerely - A FATHER. 🙄🤦🏽
This is true for all people, but especially women. If you have the attitude that what ever amount of effort you give should be good enough. It says volumes about you & how you feel about the people you interact with. In romantic relationships, a desire to please directly correlates to how much you respect & care about the person you're with.
I feel what yall saying. We just don’t like doing dishes in our house lol 😂
Before you even started I knew you were talking about a Bronx tale.
The whole point is that men and women SHOULD SERVE each other. But right now women have been taught that men should serve women only
I agree in part to this perspective. I think the biggest miss in this is a separation of public and private behaviors.
My issue with the boss analogy is there is an essence of public face vs private face that I think doesn't completely apply.
"Paper" plates might not the best for everyday use but you definitely don't use it around company outside of a party setting. It's reminds me of the saying of "bring out the good china" when guest come over.
Posting on the internet is a kine to inviting several strangers in your home at once. We are taught to show our best selves in public and glass/ceramic tableware is usually that.
When you say, "If your girl constantly puts your food on a paper/plastic plate, she does not respect herself." That applies the other way around too right? If that's the case, that means my bf doesn't respect himself.
5:01 😭😭😭😭😭😭
I learned this about 5-6 years ago when I moved to Texas, I was dating a woman and she taught me
This I been presenting ever since. (hint HINT fellas the panties FLY OFF when the food good and the presentation nice) And I became a snob watching and teaching women who don’t do it.
Like shiddd I’m From St. Louis a plate is a plate but women care so I made the change, price of pimpin and it sets you apart.
This looks like another unnecessary gender or culture war based on a nuanced situation.
He Is Correct if the Pope or the President comes by would you serve them with paper products???
This is the new standard Lazy for you and Luxury for her. Great show yet again and your show with Denzel and the woman asking who cooks for you? was magnificent.
Thank you brother
There's plenty of black men with standards, aka the over 50% that are childless and single.
Paper plates are for bbq’s!!! I’ve NEVER seen my mother feed my Dad on paper plates. She took it so far, he had his own plates that were ONLY FOR HIS USE.
Beautiful
It starts at home with mom...
More. Than right now
@5:01 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 bro what
3:55 the movie is “A Bronx Tale” that Larry refers to
Lmao at 5:03 😂😂😂😂😂
So in a nutshell: trad-male is ok because it's oppression, but trad-female is not ok because it resembles equality?
Naw bro. Subtle differences in how people perceive or do things that may be one way better or preferred than another It's not the same thing as disrespect. Putting food on a paper plate versus put it on a real plate maybe a preference but it certainly is not disrespect.
It highly can be disrespectful or belittling. Why a paper plate ?? ... if that can't be seen as disrespectful most little things during the Civil rights movement should just be forgotten
Upgrade yourself my guy.. You deserve more 😂
@@gintoki_sakata__ lol I love to cook, that being said even I don't feel the need to always use a real place on every occasion
It's really just a cultural and/or preferential thing. My wife did worry about this while we were dating when she would bring me food because her dad wouldn't eat on any paper plates. It just wasn't something my family worried about so it wasn't an issue for me. As long as my plate is sturdy enough to hold my food correctly lol
@jaym6126 I would argue that by drawing a parallel between the offense of a paper plate vs a real plate and slights made during the Civil rights era, you'd have to also agree that you see both situations as a hostile environment in which the offense was deliberately made.
I think that movie your referring to is a bronx tale.
man f all lat...you gettin this paper plate...we don't do no dishes round here....the rest of the dialogue I agree...with the movie is a bronx tale by the way...
This is a conversation about maturity, class, and culture differences. The need to do Bronx tale type "tests" is very immature. If you have a certain level of expectations, why are you dating women who don't meet those expectations? Because you're concerned about silly "tests". Nigerian men, why are you dating women outside of your culture if you have these expectations?
It’s a damn standard if your food isn’t served on a glass plate, what the fuck is really going on, this is getting outta control, I get the point your making but damn
This a REUPLOAD?
The note you ended on is powerful. As an adult I can't comprehend why the western societies are now the way they are. Cultural dysfunctions of the past are treated as an excuse for more deliberate dysfunction today. Just going off on men's nature, we already love a woman for just being a woman. The level of relationship where a man should put a woman beyond every other woman in his life should require nothing less than that woman distinguishing herself to that man. And women even in Nigeria today are beginning to forget what this means. Even if a man can get a positive response from her, a response is inadequate because chances are that through his actions he can get a positive response from other women. There has to be a proactive component of her action that communicates value which distinguishes her from other women. And that would be because she values herself enough to stand out.
I'd worry more about if the food was any good than the plate it came on. Presentation is nice but substance is everything. A man can be a millionaire driving a Toyota or live paycheck to paycheck driving a Rolls.
Get a house and kitchen with some dishes then you can tell your WIFE how you like to be served. Otherwise, hush 🤐
I'm Nigerian and i disagree, cultural differences are a thing, and its disrespectful from Nigerian culture to see our way as the only way, we have to be able to understand other people do things differently and thats okay.
It's a Black diaspora. It in every culture be it americans ,Carribeans etc . Paper plates hold a disposable and unimportant ideal. I can bet money no matter where you go you'll find a China cabinet of sorts with the good dishes
It's 2024 almost everybody has a dishwasher, if your giving a in-law a dinner plate it should be a special event. As a black American it kind of backs the claim that our people don't understand the value of family anymore.
And i will have to disagree, this is not a culture thing. This is a degradation of the nuclear family within that American black community manifesting itself.
"I'm Nigerian".. As if it exempts you from mediocrity
Upgrade
Funny, easy to say when you don't have a big family. Are you guys the ones washing all these fancy plates? I grew up with a big Nigerian family and we all used paper plates, to lessen the work load from our mom. This is like a man saying he wants 7 kids, cuz he won't be the one carrying them for 9 months and birthing them in pain.😂
Soory but BM its time to leave BW alone
Listen.. Its just food. People these days are too self righteous