You aptly describe the practical experience of burnout: what actually happens - this is so relatable and helps toward self compassion because crucially and fundamentally: I am not alone 🖖🏾
4:34 It's honestly cathartic to hear someone else experiencing the same struggles. Cleaning's hard. There tend to be tons of individual tiny little small steps involved in cleaning, and then some cleaning tasks are extremely sensory-unfriendly without additional accomodations, and you've got to know that there are ways to help before implimenting them (i.e. hunting earmuffs for vaccum cleaners).
Ive reached my give up stage. It was helpful to know that the amount of sleep i got had nothing to do with the energy i had/didnt have to complete tasks. That helped me to let go a bit.
I definitely use reading as an escape, and will read tons of online novels when I can't do anything else, even though I don't actually gain that much from them besides being able to temporarily set aside how awful or stuck I feel
I've recently been binging a ton of your videos and I've never found someone who is so relatable. I'm currently 18 so I feel as if I'm getting to that age where I need to be more independent and it's really hit me like a truck because when I struggled with life in my adolescent and teen years, I just assumed it was some sort of general anxiety but now I'm realizing how it could be something similar to your experience. I headed off to college and did it for a year but by the second year I felt so overwhelmed because my executive function was always terrible diet, sleep, hygiene, etc, etc which just made me feel extra terrible, but I also struggled making friends and just in general my anxiety didnt get better. I thought after a couple months due to exposure therspy, I'd just get used to having a college routine but I continued to feel miserable. The only major difference I see in our stories is I'm really privileged and fortunate to have a mother that generally understands my weaknesses, and that I'm a bit odd and I'm really saddened that you weren't so fortunate in that regard. I'm currently still struggling like you but I'm hoping I can really push myself to succeed in our own definitions we have to create as neurodivergent people. Keep going Dana! You are valuable as a person and I wish you well :D
I truly relate to the public transport thing, I quit my job after 3 months because I had to commute daily and I wasn’t used to it. It was a sensory nightmare and I would just crash every time I got home. The actual job was fine but the commute just made me hate it
You're hilarious, entertaining, relatable, informative, genuine, and kind of adorable. I think we'd get along great and be great friends if we lived nearer lol. And unscripted content? Loved it!
This is so accurate!! Every time I've been diagnosed with depression & prescribed ineffective antidepressants, I've been in burnout. Now I look back, I can see it - it's so obvious! At this point I will be shocked if I don't get a diagnosis of autism (if I ever get an appointment - 26 months waiting so far).
Just got diagnosed with ASD last week, and I’m trying to learn to unmask because it’s been causing me really bad burnout. So thank you so much for the vid!! /gen /pos
I keep thinking, maybe the utter depressed exhaustion I felt after moving cities and starting uni at age 20 was just burnout. But I guess it was both. First depression, then depression and burnout, then depression, and now I'm coming out of that, too. Only took me 20 years -.-
For context: I have PtSD and moving 500km away from my abusers and the one friend I hadmade me realise how shitty I really felt about myself, kickstarting the depression.
I am going through it now... I don't know how i am going to keep my job at this rate, i don't even want to ride anymore, and that's scary... A well meaning friend paid for an online therapy membership, but i don't know how well that will help- the very FIRST thing i received was a worksheet. I can barely get out of bed and put clothes on. I definitely don't want to do HOMEWORK. I understand traditional therapy is like that, and helps lots of people, but at this point it has become one more obligation (i don't want to disappoint/insult the kindness of my friend, either-) in a long line of obligations i simply can't seem to rise to, like i said, i don't even want to ride lately, and riding is my safe, happy place... But i also have to work at the barn to earn money to ride, and that is getting to be WAY WAY too much, i don't know what to do, except sleep, haha... Cleaning the litter box is all i do some days, haha... Thank god my boyfriend helps me with that, he picks up slack around the house- he does get frustrated, but who wouldn't? I am not easy to be around at the best of times...
Your long braids are really cool I’m FINALLY recovering from a multi-year burnout period. I was so emotionally unstable, I couldn’t choose how I wanted to respond to anything. It was awful. But last week, for the first time in years, my partner got emotional and I was able to listen and think and reply earnestly without somehow interpreting it as an attack on me when it had NOTHING to do with me. It was a really big moment. And I did it again today. 😊 still working on regaining a lot of skills, like maintaining basic hygiene, but I’m really hopeful. My recovery 100% required as close to no responsibilities as possible for a very long time. Which sounds really extreme, but I tried EVERYTHING else first and nothing helped. I just. Needed. Time. And. Rest.
Awww! I feel so proud of you for… not caring! So cooool! 🤩👏 I want to go back in time, give you Loops against the people shouting at you and some links to autism-related resources, and then… do your dishes or something? That'd be so cool! Please arrange for that if you meet the Doctor one day!
Btw., I watched 7 seasons of Buffy and 4 seasons of Angel within two weeks because of autism (but not because of burnout but because it was the first time I tried to understand these kinds of interactions between people and I learned so much).
wow, at 4:16 never knew that was what a burnout was, thanks for the video, I had something like it, I tried a cooking course at tafe (twice), after 3 or more courses failed, due to my now found asd, hadn't confirmed it then (was only suspicion by paediatricians, etc. ), but just couldn't take in information, or learn the steps, as students where completing parts for me, and not giving me the chance, in hindsight it took a worker doing things WITH me, SLOWLY, at my pace and my OT and me, made recipe sheets I can follow successfully, now I can do it {supervised, of course!, as I can't smell}, but at the time, I was in burnout, nothing worked, and no one could understand what I was trying to tell them, even the so called student 'services' couldn't offer any 'reasonable adjustments' that meant I could get out of this burnout.
How can others help you during burnout? I think our son experiences this quite often during the school year when he says his "brain is full" and that now he "can't do anything". I understand the depression side because I have bipolar depression and can empathize with not being able to do anything. But I don't exactly know how to help him through it or how to just be there for him as his mother.
You wanted any thoughts at all, so, a few unrelated things; On being prescribed meds for supposed depression - any of the many times I've seen a GP for depression, they've made a point of not prescribing antidepressants. I wonder why, when other people complain of them handing them out too easily. Did they guess it wasn't (only) depression? Did they clock me as neurodivergent and so unlikely to tolerate them well? Did they think I was drug seeking? Is it a gender presentation thing? Is it no reason at all? I don't have a point here, I just wonder An anecdote - I recently tried to more consciously take note of how I feel in different situations. Particularly how I change between being alone and in public. Am I changing my posture? Do my movements feel free or constrained? Am I continuing my normal trains of thought? What am I doing with my face? - and then not really doing anything with that information. Not trying to correct it or judge it or anything, just note it and acknowledge it's been noted and then move on. And I'm not going to claim it cured burnout or was the missing key to motivation, but it did fix about 80% of my sleep issues. Quickly too - that same night I could sleep at a reasonable time, wake at a reasonable time, _get up under my own willpower_ for the first time in forever. And that's mostly stuck for a good few weeks. Surprising (to me) as there's not an obvious connection to sleep. On getting behind and the upload schedule - if it's getting to be a struggle maybe you could do some more throwaway sort of content just to keep to your deadlines. I'm sure no-one would complain if sometimes we got a two minute show-and-tell, cat vlog, or something that could have been a text comment. It's not like you're committed to 20+ minutes of soul searching every time.
Very interesting. You're talking about some of the same stuff Dana is--giving yourself permission to ignore stuff: I'm acting differently--well so what? I don't care. Then there's all this stress removed. I have problems with sleep (all my life). Maybe I need to figure out how to ignore some major source of stress. I don't mask too much, so that won't do it. I think my perfectionism in various projects might be a good place to start.
On the drugs, I went through a lot of awful SSRIs--every one of them with bad side effects. The best drug I was on was Atavan, which is a benzodiazepene, not an SSRI. You feel very normal on it, not at all trancy, at least at a low dose. I'm off it now and taking no drugs for my anxiety. I take a lot of B vitamins and adrenal cortex for my anxiety--both over the counter. I highly recommend the adrenal cortex. It's pig or beef adrenal glands, and has a lot of the hormones (like cortisol) that need to be replaced in people who are under a lot of stress.
I am in burnout right now. I have never had issues with hygiene during burnout, but I will just reach the point where I can't do anything but sit there. I can barely even find the energy for special interests. Anything that forces me to do something I don't want to do becomes a major annoyance. I call it leave me the fuck alone mode.
I'm in a constant state of burnout myself now, think its because I'm looking after a elderly dog and her son 24/7. I wanna get back into creative stuff again and do a bit here and there but I cant maintain anything consistent 😭.
I just got out of an 8 month burnout. It was terrible. The worst one of my adult life. I've been out of it for almost 1.5 months. I feel like a completely different person. Autism is weird!
I’d like corps to actually acknowledge burnout and be more adaptable for how often we need to come in. I’m currently on the job market and I’m dreading having the chat about reducing my in office days 🎉😂
I once binged watch classic Doctor Who from season 8 to 26. I was watching an entire season a day at one point. Took me about 6 weeks to get through the whole lot.
I feel I have had autistic burnout in my current job so am seeking career advice (as tbh after spending 3+ years working in offices, that environment isn't for me unless I can either hybrid work/WFH or do something relating to my interests).
Hi Dana. Your videos help very much.I am autistic too and what you are talking about is very similar what I experience. Do people like you get any help in your country?disability or some money for a living?
Wow! it sounds like you are describing me. Have you got a secret camera in my flat or something? lol. How do you get yourself out of burnout? I feel like I have been in burnout for 10 months now. Just can't seem to shake it off. I need to change my bed sheets, I need to wash a load of tee shirts, I need to swept, hoover and clean the floors, I need to clean the kitchen and bathroom, I need to clean my living room window. But I just can't seem to bring myself to do it. I am just so knackered and tired all the time. If this is what I am like nearing 50 I hate to think what I will be like in 10 years time. Am only just getting worse. I am seriously considering hiring a cleaner it is so bad. I mean that is what PIP is for isn't it?
@@Catlily5 I only get £290 PIP every 4 weeks. A cleaner would cost £30 for 2 hours(that is what my neighbour says she pays her cleaner). 2 hours wouldn't get my whole flat cleaned.
12:35 Yeah, I let it get to that point too sometimes. Give yourself permission to take time off from uploading if you need to. People in normal jobs are able to take time off every once in a while, so it's not the end of the world if you need time off sometimes too.
Hi Dana! I'm midway through the video and found it quite enlightening. I suffer from major depression which was recently changed to a premenstrual dysphoria disorder (PMDD). This is characterized by me feeling fine, then out of nowhere, when my life is exactly the same, I would feel awful. That's a big part of depression for me, it's almost completely caused by internal reasons, not external reasons. When I start feeling better, my life is again exactly the same as when I was depressed but now I'm fine. Sounds like autistic burnout is the opposite - it's caused by external overwhelm. Also what helps me out of a depression is not to just give up. What helps me is a bunch of coping techniques that are different from what you talked about. All this to say that this video made clear for me the difference between autistic burnout and depression.
Burn-out always seems to come at the worst of times, not hat there is a good time for burn-out let's be clear. Autistic people develop in a different manner from allistic people, so when in their late teen and trough their 20's allistic have a strong enough personality to cope / deal with all the responsibilities being an adult brings with it, from live and society. Whilst autistic people are still more in a process of growing and might be actually more vulnerable then before or at the start of that growing process. I can't really call it puberty, that also happens, but that is different, maybe it's autistic puberty, I just call it the growing process in this case. I hope this makes sense. Also if you start feel to burn out, please don't overstress yourself, you'll make your life a hell.
You aptly describe the practical experience of burnout: what actually happens - this is so relatable and helps toward self compassion because crucially and fundamentally: I am not alone 🖖🏾
I like the idea of “giving up” in the way that you meant it. You’re right, it does give you permission to just get better. ❤
I know how it feels being yelled at during burnout. It only makes it worse!
4:34 It's honestly cathartic to hear someone else experiencing the same struggles. Cleaning's hard. There tend to be tons of individual tiny little small steps involved in cleaning, and then some cleaning tasks are extremely sensory-unfriendly without additional accomodations, and you've got to know that there are ways to help before implimenting them (i.e. hunting earmuffs for vaccum cleaners).
Ive reached my give up stage. It was helpful to know that the amount of sleep i got had nothing to do with the energy i had/didnt have to complete tasks. That helped me to let go a bit.
I definitely use reading as an escape, and will read tons of online novels when I can't do anything else, even though I don't actually gain that much from them besides being able to temporarily set aside how awful or stuck I feel
I've recently been binging a ton of your videos and I've never found someone who is so relatable. I'm currently 18 so I feel as if I'm getting to that age where I need to be more independent and it's really hit me like a truck because when I struggled with life in my adolescent and teen years, I just assumed it was some sort of general anxiety but now I'm realizing how it could be something similar to your experience. I headed off to college and did it for a year but by the second year I felt so overwhelmed because my executive function was always terrible diet, sleep, hygiene, etc, etc which just made me feel extra terrible, but I also struggled making friends and just in general my anxiety didnt get better. I thought after a couple months due to exposure therspy, I'd just get used to having a college routine but I continued to feel miserable. The only major difference I see in our stories is I'm really privileged and fortunate to have a mother that generally understands my weaknesses, and that I'm a bit odd and I'm really saddened that you weren't so fortunate in that regard. I'm currently still struggling like you but I'm hoping I can really push myself to succeed in our own definitions we have to create as neurodivergent people. Keep going Dana! You are valuable as a person and I wish you well :D
I truly relate to the public transport thing, I quit my job after 3 months because I had to commute daily and I wasn’t used to it. It was a sensory nightmare and I would just crash every time I got home. The actual job was fine but the commute just made me hate it
You're hilarious, entertaining, relatable, informative, genuine, and kind of adorable. I think we'd get along great and be great friends if we lived nearer lol. And unscripted content? Loved it!
I can’t imagine being that responsible at 16- it’s no wonder you got burned out! ❤ Good for you for all the healthy steps you’ve made since then!
sending love 🙏 ❤ and don't stress yourself too much about the videos please! i love watching your stuff, but please take a break when you need one
This is so accurate!! Every time I've been diagnosed with depression & prescribed ineffective antidepressants, I've been in burnout. Now I look back, I can see it - it's so obvious! At this point I will be shocked if I don't get a diagnosis of autism (if I ever get an appointment - 26 months waiting so far).
I have a cat too. We are similar. I do dishes when I’m making a cup of tea😂
Just got diagnosed with ASD last week, and I’m trying to learn to unmask because it’s been causing me really bad burnout. So thank you so much for the vid!! /gen /pos
I keep thinking, maybe the utter depressed exhaustion I felt after moving cities and starting uni at age 20 was just burnout. But I guess it was both. First depression, then depression and burnout, then depression, and now I'm coming out of that, too. Only took me 20 years -.-
For context: I have PtSD and moving 500km away from my abusers and the one friend I hadmade me realise how shitty I really felt about myself, kickstarting the depression.
I am going through it now...
I don't know how i am going to keep my job at this rate, i don't even want to ride anymore, and that's scary...
A well meaning friend paid for an online therapy membership, but i don't know how well that will help- the very FIRST thing i received was a worksheet.
I can barely get out of bed and put clothes on.
I definitely don't want to do HOMEWORK.
I understand traditional therapy is like that, and helps lots of people, but at this point it has become one more obligation (i don't want to disappoint/insult the kindness of my friend, either-) in a long line of obligations i simply can't seem to rise to, like i said, i don't even want to ride lately, and riding is my safe, happy place...
But i also have to work at the barn to earn money to ride, and that is getting to be WAY WAY too much, i don't know what to do, except sleep, haha...
Cleaning the litter box is all i do some days, haha...
Thank god my boyfriend helps me with that, he picks up slack around the house- he does get frustrated, but who wouldn't?
I am not easy to be around at the best of times...
Your long braids are really cool
I’m FINALLY recovering from a multi-year burnout period. I was so emotionally unstable, I couldn’t choose how I wanted to respond to anything. It was awful. But last week, for the first time in years, my partner got emotional and I was able to listen and think and reply earnestly without somehow interpreting it as an attack on me when it had NOTHING to do with me. It was a really big moment. And I did it again today. 😊 still working on regaining a lot of skills, like maintaining basic hygiene, but I’m really hopeful.
My recovery 100% required as close to no responsibilities as possible for a very long time. Which sounds really extreme, but I tried EVERYTHING else first and nothing helped. I just. Needed. Time. And. Rest.
yoooo you mentioned Skyrim!!! love Skyrim :)
Thankyou for being vulnerable. Sharing your experience was very validating and comforting to me. ❤
Awww! I feel so proud of you for… not caring! So cooool! 🤩👏 I want to go back in time, give you Loops against the people shouting at you and some links to autism-related resources, and then… do your dishes or something? That'd be so cool! Please arrange for that if you meet the Doctor one day!
Btw., I watched 7 seasons of Buffy and 4 seasons of Angel within two weeks because of autism (but not because of burnout but because it was the first time I tried to understand these kinds of interactions between people and I learned so much).
If you need a break from making videos so you can recover…take one! We will still be here when you feel better. 💜
wow, at 4:16 never knew that was what a burnout was, thanks for the video, I had something like it, I tried a cooking course at tafe (twice), after 3 or more courses failed, due to my now found asd, hadn't confirmed it then (was only suspicion by paediatricians, etc. ), but just couldn't take in information, or learn the steps, as students where completing parts for me, and not giving me the chance, in hindsight it took a worker doing things WITH me, SLOWLY, at my pace and my OT and me, made recipe sheets I can follow successfully, now I can do it {supervised, of course!, as I can't smell}, but at the time, I was in burnout, nothing worked, and no one could understand what I was trying to tell them, even the so called student 'services' couldn't offer any 'reasonable adjustments' that meant I could get out of this burnout.
How can others help you during burnout? I think our son experiences this quite often during the school year when he says his "brain is full" and that now he "can't do anything". I understand the depression side because I have bipolar depression and can empathize with not being able to do anything. But I don't exactly know how to help him through it or how to just be there for him as his mother.
You wanted any thoughts at all, so, a few unrelated things;
On being prescribed meds for supposed depression - any of the many times I've seen a GP for depression, they've made a point of not prescribing antidepressants. I wonder why, when other people complain of them handing them out too easily. Did they guess it wasn't (only) depression? Did they clock me as neurodivergent and so unlikely to tolerate them well? Did they think I was drug seeking? Is it a gender presentation thing? Is it no reason at all? I don't have a point here, I just wonder
An anecdote - I recently tried to more consciously take note of how I feel in different situations. Particularly how I change between being alone and in public. Am I changing my posture? Do my movements feel free or constrained? Am I continuing my normal trains of thought? What am I doing with my face? - and then not really doing anything with that information. Not trying to correct it or judge it or anything, just note it and acknowledge it's been noted and then move on. And I'm not going to claim it cured burnout or was the missing key to motivation, but it did fix about 80% of my sleep issues. Quickly too - that same night I could sleep at a reasonable time, wake at a reasonable time, _get up under my own willpower_ for the first time in forever. And that's mostly stuck for a good few weeks. Surprising (to me) as there's not an obvious connection to sleep.
On getting behind and the upload schedule - if it's getting to be a struggle maybe you could do some more throwaway sort of content just to keep to your deadlines. I'm sure no-one would complain if sometimes we got a two minute show-and-tell, cat vlog, or something that could have been a text comment. It's not like you're committed to 20+ minutes of soul searching every time.
Very interesting. You're talking about some of the same stuff Dana is--giving yourself permission to ignore stuff: I'm acting differently--well so what? I don't care. Then there's all this stress removed. I have problems with sleep (all my life). Maybe I need to figure out how to ignore some major source of stress. I don't mask too much, so that won't do it. I think my perfectionism in various projects might be a good place to start.
On the drugs, I went through a lot of awful SSRIs--every one of them with bad side effects. The best drug I was on was Atavan, which is a benzodiazepene, not an SSRI. You feel very normal on it, not at all trancy, at least at a low dose. I'm off it now and taking no drugs for my anxiety. I take a lot of B vitamins and adrenal cortex for my anxiety--both over the counter. I highly recommend the adrenal cortex. It's pig or beef adrenal glands, and has a lot of the hormones (like cortisol) that need to be replaced in people who are under a lot of stress.
I am the opposite of you on medications. I like SSRI's and dislike benzodiazepines.@@steveneardley7541
I am in burnout right now. I have never had issues with hygiene during burnout, but I will just reach the point where I can't do anything but sit there. I can barely even find the energy for special interests. Anything that forces me to do something I don't want to do becomes a major annoyance. I call it leave me the fuck alone mode.
I'm in a constant state of burnout myself now, think its because I'm looking after a elderly dog and her son 24/7. I wanna get back into creative stuff again and do a bit here and there but I cant maintain anything consistent 😭.
I just got out of an 8 month burnout. It was terrible. The worst one of my adult life. I've been out of it for almost 1.5 months. I feel like a completely different person. Autism is weird!
I’d like corps to actually acknowledge burnout and be more adaptable for how often we need to come in. I’m currently on the job market and I’m dreading having the chat about reducing my in office days 🎉😂
I once binged watch classic Doctor Who from season 8 to 26. I was watching an entire season a day at one point. Took me about 6 weeks to get through the whole lot.
I feel I have had autistic burnout in my current job so am seeking career advice (as tbh after spending 3+ years working in offices, that environment isn't for me unless I can either hybrid work/WFH or do something relating to my interests).
I'm having a bad day with ADHD. You made it better:)
16 is young for anyone to be thrown into adult life without support
where can i contribute to your snack fund. the blog link on your channel doesnt work fyi
Hi Dana. Your videos help very much.I am autistic too and what you are talking about is very similar what I experience. Do people like you get any help in your country?disability or some money for a living?
Loving this one :)
Wow! it sounds like you are describing me. Have you got a secret camera in my flat or something? lol. How do you get yourself out of burnout? I feel like I have been in burnout for 10 months now. Just can't seem to shake it off. I need to change my bed sheets, I need to wash a load of tee shirts, I need to swept, hoover and clean the floors, I need to clean the kitchen and bathroom, I need to clean my living room window. But I just can't seem to bring myself to do it. I am just so knackered and tired all the time. If this is what I am like nearing 50 I hate to think what I will be like in 10 years time. Am only just getting worse.
I am seriously considering hiring a cleaner it is so bad. I mean that is what PIP is for isn't it?
Does PIP give you enough money to hire a cleaner? I doubt it.
@@Catlily5 I only get £290 PIP every 4 weeks. A cleaner would cost £30 for 2 hours(that is what my neighbour says she pays her cleaner). 2 hours wouldn't get my whole flat cleaned.
@@daviniarobbins9298 That seems like a lot of money then. If that is your only income. But one time might be worth it. I am on disability in the USA.
12:35 Yeah, I let it get to that point too sometimes. Give yourself permission to take time off from uploading if you need to. People in normal jobs are able to take time off every once in a while, so it's not the end of the world if you need time off sometimes too.
Hi Dana! I'm midway through the video and found it quite enlightening. I suffer from major depression which was recently changed to a premenstrual dysphoria disorder (PMDD). This is characterized by me feeling fine, then out of nowhere, when my life is exactly the same, I would feel awful. That's a big part of depression for me, it's almost completely caused by internal reasons, not external reasons. When I start feeling better, my life is again exactly the same as when I was depressed but now I'm fine.
Sounds like autistic burnout is the opposite - it's caused by external overwhelm.
Also what helps me out of a depression is not to just give up. What helps me is a bunch of coping techniques that are different from what you talked about.
All this to say that this video made clear for me the difference between autistic burnout and depression.
Great video. You help a lot of people.
you know- you can take a vacation for a week or more? we'll all still be here when you get back
Burn-out always seems to come at the worst of times, not hat there is a good time for burn-out let's be clear. Autistic people develop in a different manner from allistic people, so when in their late teen and trough their 20's allistic have a strong enough personality to cope / deal with all the responsibilities being an adult brings with it, from live and society. Whilst autistic people are still more in a process of growing and might be actually more vulnerable then before or at the start of that growing process. I can't really call it puberty, that also happens, but that is different, maybe it's autistic puberty, I just call it the growing process in this case. I hope this makes sense. Also if you start feel to burn out, please don't overstress yourself, you'll make your life a hell.
dana, you remain inspirational and sexy.
Part of this could stayed as an inside brain thought
I think that posting 3 days a week over a time is very ambitious. Even once a week is a lot.
Crying throughout this with such depth of recognition and understanding. Thank you so much for helping to ease the shame 🩷