How Soon Can I Ask for Exclusivity?
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- Опубликовано: 25 июн 2024
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I was talking to a guy who immediately wanted me off the dating app where we met. I laughed and said I would love to find my guy and get off this app forever.. but let's get to know each other first. I let him know right away I ultimately want to get married. He said he was divorced and so I asked if he would ever want to get married again and he said he could. We had an amazing connection and were on the same page about life and relationship goals and roles.. then he finally told me he had a confession.. he never wanted to get married again. I was stunned because I felt misled in the beginning. He just wanted to live with someone but never marry. I told him I really liked him, but our wants are parallel. I didn't want to continue and fall in love with someone who will never marry me. So I ended it.
Kinda sad I don't even know why people care about marriage in 2024 but many still do
@@lunaleia952 I don't care about the government part of marriage. The government should stay out of that. I am religious and to us it's a sacrament.
I’m glad you stood your ground.
@@lunaleia952 I’m still just trying to get commitment of some type right now. Marriage seems way off
@@leyacallender4405 thank you.
In a situationship for 5 months. Talking everyday. Meeting family. Opening up about everything. Sleeping together.
After 5 months I said that if this was going anywhere the situationship would have to change.
She did not agree and decided to meet another guy for coffee
Never walked away so quick.
You should be able to 'size up' and properly 'vet' a lady in a couple of dates. That's the purpose of dating (getting to know somebody). If you want exclusivity ultimately, you have to decide for yourself if she's suitable for that. You don't move forward until you know if that's possible with any particular lady. Some ladies cannot be kept. Or don't want to be kept (keep playing the field). Or just don't want to be kept by you (or any man really interested in keeping her and is holding out for the kind of man who would never keep her but she's not conscious of her own limitations... a tragic dream for her that won't produce outcomes).
Ladies often are looking for the hookup and/or placeholder guys. Vet her and size her up so you're not one of them (unless, I suppose, you're looking for the hookup). You get to know ladies 'intentions' by their actions and filter these out fast as you can (5 months is too long to figure that out, focus on cutting that time down as you could have been pursuing more suitable options that whole time rather than wasting it in limbo with a go nowhere lady that wasn't worth trying to 'keep'.
Note: be up front about your intentions about the kind of relationship you'd want to see develop and what would make her suitable for that.
I ask for exclusivity after the first time of sleeping together, if the intention is to continue dating.
I don't ask if they are seeing someone else. I just ask for exclusivity from that point onward. Take it or leave it. It's not a huge commitment, it's basic respect ... And basic hygiëne.
I love your cool style! "Take it or leave it." No struggling or overthinking at all. Clean and simple like that
Why wouldn't you ask for it before sleeping with them?
Why would you put your health at risk by sleeping with them before they've stopped sleeping with other people and might be infected with an STD?
@@lavienestpasunlongfleuvetr2559 that’s a good question. Maybe this is where principles and pragmatism clash. When dating, one does get a sense of whether someone is active in that area. That also helps to assess the risk. Then you can (should) use protection, and you can also ask “before we go there, did you get tested recently and how active have you been”. I think it depends a bit on the person how explicit and thorough you want to be. For me, I find it too early to ask for exclusivity before sleeping
I express my non negotiable of no sex until commitment/ relationship early on in dating. It gets rid of the wrong people quickly. It’s the better route, I promise. ❤
Generally, I want to know before sleeping together what her sexual history looks like (recent and in the past). You'll never gather the truth but I want to make a judgement call on the risk (STD's, etc). I wouldn't be asking for exclusivity but if she's sleeping around 'while' we're dating, I'm going to have serious reservations becoming "one of those guys she's sleeping with". Those are the kind of women you NEVER make a commitment to (aka: the 'act' of being willing to sleep with you doesn't mean anything to her any more than it means to those other guys.... it only means something to 'you' with a lady like that).
My bf asked me to be exclusive on date 3. It’s going great 🎉
Omg how I related when Audrey said "I'm a little offended that our relationship isn't Disneyland to you" 😂😂😂 I FEEL YOU
Audrey, if you want to be Disneyland…you’ll have to start taking out the trash a bit more. That’s what really impressed Matthew about the Magic Kingdom. Get on it girl! 😂
(I’m kidding. You are the BEST Audrey. Matthew is lucky to have you. Don’t change. ❤️❤️❤️)
lol that’s so funny. I know Matthew was j/k but the thing is a lot of men like to think the grass is greener in the other side when in reality it’s not. They actually have it so much better where they are. My man won’t commit. I’ve supported him through thick n thin, through the loss of two jobs, when he was broke and almost lost everything. I’m his peace. How he does not understand this is beyond me 😔
I dated someone for 3 months and in that time he asked for exclusivity but there was something holding me back and I wouldn't give it to him. Lo and behold after about 4 months the truth came out and turned out he was a complete alcoholic. In the first few months he never drank a drop of alcohol in front of me. He's now in rehab and I hope he gets the help he needs but it won't be with me! For me there is no rush for exclusivity. I'm totally fine with taking my time to determine if it's worth it for both parties.
Good thinking! I slept with my ex-boyfriend before I knew he was an alcoholic. Then felt bonded to him, so I went through 5 years of hell before I decided to finally leave because he wouldn't quit drinking.
@@anneliesewright662 I was with my alcoholic husband for 20 years so I vowed I would never be with another alcoholic again!
I never understood that vibing either someone can be onesided. It's true and very painful. You can run yourself into a fantasy which never comes true. Moral of the story: only actions count. Even be careful with them. Time and consistency is the key.
I think we women are, in part, responsible for this male behavior where they allow themselves to feel a total connection without feeling committed, tricking women into feeling they have something more. First of all, we completely give ourselves away with no guarantees whatsoever. And secondly, we don't talk about it with that person for fear of looking "crazy" for expecting something more from a situation that seemed to promise it. Claiming clarity and honesty should not be shameful. But because we don't feel entitled to do so and don't hold them accountable, this masculine behavior becomes normalized.
Matthew brings up all the points you need to understand. Intentionality--I had no intention of getting into a relationship but the guy was believing his dream was mine and it wasn't. Yes we had an 'amazing" connection according to him. But no way according to me. His idea of a relationship was not my idea. You need to get a grip on this immediately.
its perfectly fine to ask if they are dating someone else on a first date even. Some people prefer to date one on one
The question that should precede asking someone for a first date is "Are you seeing anyone?" If the answer is yes I'm not asking for that first date. I'm not gambling with my time, effort and resources like that.
Brilliant! But they can always lie.
@@jasminaloulova9202 At which point if you find out its all you need to know to just walk away and know beyond a shadow of a doubt you did the right thing. They were willing to lie to you from the very beginning and you can't build anything worth having on sinking sand.
But what if they want to date several people, so they can figure out which one they're most compatible with before they decide to become exclusive with anyone?
@@anneliesewright662 I refuse to be one off those people who date them.
@@anneliesewright662
How can you give your time to someone that cannot focus on just one person? Dating several people at once doesn’t allow for anyone to be emotionally available and it allows the plot between two people to be interrupted. So any progress you might have made on the first date, takes a backseat. Keep your boundaries and focus on what you want and communicate your standards effectively.
Mr Hussey may never know, how very true his words are.
You got me lol 😂 in the middle of a crowded store. Get into my JAAARRGH! 🤣
We have to start vetting for exclusivity and monogamy if that is what you are looking for within the first 6 weeks or 6 dates at least. They ask them straight out. If they agree than give that an expiration date of 3 months to see if they can go all in. Then again have another expiration date. Let's face it most players can keep the mask up for awhile but many have that mask fall within 3 months.
People typically show me who they are within 4-5 weeks. That mask is hard to keep on. To be sure I’m getting the real person behind the mask I will wait 8 weeks.
This is such a brilliant talk. Something I've been thinking about for a long time. But you both broke it down and opened it up in a way that makes it easier for me to be more intentional, and also really notice when someone else isn't.
I meant to add- and not fault someone else for wanting only a connection. But I allow myself to walk away because I want connection and something more.
Such brilliant analogies, such depth, such humour all at the same time! You two are phenomenal; love you, thank you! ❤
What an awesome episode! I absolutely resonated with everything you said.I think if we have a light but grounded conversation about exclusivity it really works and having the clarity of when that would be I feel it is a personal boundary.I know personally I can't continue to have intimacy with someone if we are not exclusive and see where it can actually go, can it turn into a relationship but I understand that not everyone feels the same.I also won't even entertain anyone that is actually not looking for something serious but just wants to have fun or go with the flow but I understand that not everyone is like that. I think if we are both aligned and honest from the start exclusivity conversation should be easy and happen organically.Thank you 🙏
To me in a nutshell I would say a connection is passive and a relationship is proactive . A relationship requires effort, consideration, acceptance, presence and action. A connection requires none of these. It doesn't even require reality or presence. Great podcast guys! ❤
I'm old-fashioned. If I'm dating a woman, I assume I'm supposed to only be seeing that woman, or am I just weird for that? Is it not something to do out of principle? Of virtuous character? Why complicate "when?" in an era where people are struggling and complaining about a lack of commitment? It's not about a pedestal, it's just the right thing to do. If we never gave into the temptation of emotional or physical promiscuity then this probably wouldn't be as much of a problem.
However, I believe I understand the simultaneously discussed topic. I understand that we need keep a clear mind despite a connection, which is honestly just synonymous with "chemistry". However, I've done years of the mental health work and still do. I'm flawed and I know other people have flaws and am willing to work through problems and fulfill _communicated_ needs within my ability. I do know relationships are a lot of work but I also feel like people overcomplicate things. Is it really that hard to treat someone you claim to like/love as if you like/love them? Like experiencing disappointment and conflict and realising that they haven't failed the relationship. Ultimately, love is a verb that starts with asking questions, sometimes, maybe often, that question is: "What could I have done better?"
Agreed. I like that you included emotional promiscuity. I personally do not have the capacity or time to date multiple people at the same time, this does not mean I am even 70% sure about someone after date 2 but it makes the time we are both investing more valuable imo. Sure you might change your mind after continuing to see them but why is it seen as a “weakness” in the first place? I think exclusivity early on is one of those things that is important to some people and although uncommon, there are others who share the same expectation of dating one person at a time even if it’s viewed as a myth in our time!! Some us just find it more comfortable & to be honest, practical.
I only date one man at a time and communicate that to the person I’m seeing to make sure we’re on the same page- or I’m out.
I love the richness of the contents you speak about and how helpful they are. And I also enjoy seeing you together sharing your thoughts 💬❤
Really insightful show it gave me clarity ❤
Conscious relating is the key to breaking out of the default and creating a relationship(s) by design!
I agree, the 2nd date is to soon to make a genuine decision on someone, because you are still putting your best foot forward.
not seeing other people for a couple of weeks isn't the decision though, the decision comes after. saying let's be exclusive until we figure out if we want to explore this any further isn't saying yes to them completely.
Perfect timing, totally applicable to my current situation haha
You both are magical
Love you both together!❤
I don't mind someone leaving because they like someone else more but I know personally that I would be too aloof and not care if there wasn't exclusivity and I feel like both people won't give it there best shot to explore and learn where it could lead when they're too distracted texting and dating different people, there won't be enough time to desire each other in between dates cause other people are there. Giving it the best shot with someone can help figure out faster if they're right or not and we should move on.
I love Miyazaki & Studio Ghibli! 🔥❤️🔥🔥
I always enjoy listening to you (and reading you) but I felt very uncomfortable about the way you present exclusivity, as if it was such a big deal, a huge decision to make...It's just seeing one person at a time, no one is promising long term commitment, but they are both giving it a shot.
You will have such great connections with many people, new people into the future. You won’t and can’t have a “relationship” with all of them.
This is where guys think differently!! Women think a connection is a relationship. From this we sadly see that guys in general really are just so much living in the moment!! They go around having fun and don't see relationships like us women do!! We want to build on a relationship. We wouldn't spend our preciousl time going on a date if we didn't expect a connection. ❤
This is too scary!! It makes me lose hope in men. We're hearing the truth from Matt!!! Are men really that selfish????
I only date one man at a time and communicate that to the person I’m seeing to make sure we’re on the same page- or I’m out.
This was so good ! Because I had these issues with friendships. We were so the same like twins but the vibrations weren’t on the same level.
Wow, that's me currently with the person i'm trying to date with
@@novaexx6587 me too ! I liked a guy and I was just daydreaming so much and I had to realize do I really want them in my world ?
EXCELLENT show!!!!!! ❤ 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
16:29 I had a great connection with a person but it suddenly took a turn. A connection can be there but if there is no reciprocity on what they want and what/who they're pursuing, then it's not that great of a connection.
If you need to discuss exclusivity, you don't need that person.
Why would it not need to be a discussion? Is it dependent on the context/situation, like if the other person brings up the discussion because they think you are so attractive that you might have gone a couple of coffee dates with other people? Or is it not needed when it is a clear connection where you both say that you’re just seeing how it goes with each other? The former situation is flattering, but the latter is so easy and cute. I’m wondering what kind of connection shows exclusivity easily as someone who’s from a culturally diverse city.
@@aleesatr2303 lol
@@aleesatr2303It doesn't come up in every relationship. When 2 people like eachother and no one else, they pursue eachother and no one else, no convo needed.
@@lavienestpasunlongfleuvetr2559 but without a conversation you're just assuming on your part that they're not seeing anyone else while they might and after 3 months when you figure out they've been dating other people you can't really be mad at them cause you never brought it up and had a conversation about it and they could've assumed there was no exclusivity or else they might've chose to stop seeing others
@@lavienestpasunlongfleuvetr2559hey thanks for answering that question about it. I was genuinely curious 😊 that is much kinder than receiving a lol
I hope that happens for me someday 😆 or that when it comes to confirming the exclusivity.
Loved this! I'm not getting exclusive with anyone until we've dated for at least 6 months. It takes about that long for us each to see how compatible we are & how we resolve problems.
Best to ask early. It's way more awkward to ssk later on.
Generally, I come from the position that any lady I might be developing an interest in has other options she may be actively engaging. The same may be true for me as well. My perspective is I want that 'one best option' and divest from the other lesser options. So, when do you do that? If a lady wants to maintain her options after a few dates but you'd prefer to make her the option, then she's not suitable for your commitment. She may not be convinced yet you're her 'choice' (may take a bit longer so it's not time for exclusivity). She may not be willing to 'make a choice' (maybe she never will or is holding out for an option she can't realistically 'choose' for exclusivity but isn't aware of her own limitations). There's a point where a man has to throw in the towel. Some men and women can never be kept by the options that would want to keep them (chasing encounters they may enjoy having but have no future).
There's a lot of reasons, as a man, you have to recognize you're dealing with a woman you can't keep. You may not be what she see's as the one she'd give up playing the field for. She may be incapable of not playing the field (she wants to keep her options open indefinitely). She may not be aware of her own limitations with the kind of man that would be interested in 'keeping her' exclusively (a very common problem... chasing dreams rather than realistic outcomes).
So 'how soon can I ask for exclusivity'? The answer is the amount of time that it takes you to vet and size up this lady. If it's taking too long to get a read on her, she's not suitable and is a waste of your time. I personally don't think you can force this and you have to decide if she's grounded enough and focused enough on the purpose and outcomes you're looking for. It's all about determining 'suitability' (not 'perfection' or chasing dreams). If you use your head and look at ladies from a 'are you suitable for where I'm heading in life', you won't be asking very many women for exclusivity and let them go back to whatever direction they're going that's not your direction.
Matt can we discuss these “red pill influencer” men all over social media preaching high value men should never date a single mother. The concept of this is so illogical and wild to me. I feel like no one is talking about this.
Dear Matthew and Audrey. Given this example I agree with your approach of not asking too early for exclusivity. However, I would really hope my comment could be taken into account. But what about people who are in relationships or even married, but thinking that they are on their way “out” ( meaning thinking breaking up with a partner)? I am not sure if it is a post-Covid phenomenon or 40-years old crisis phenomenon, but I have experienced a great amount of such situations recently. And those seem like «good people»! I would repeat those people were absolutely not pathological liars and manipulators, in my perspective. They honestly think that they are on their way out and therefore meeting other people without disclosing their marital status. They honestly think that they just need a little bit of time to decide to break it off. I think in that case not asking can potentially create a lot of damage especially for the person who is in a relationship with them, but also for ourselves. My friend went through such a trauma first hand. This is especially common with people who travel a lot because of their job. I am personally glad that I am straightforward and ask about their relationship status and I don’t feel that this reduces my value. Thank you for all the work you do and for all the wisdom you are sharing with us ❤.
Can anyone create merch with the pickle jar, please?
What is it even with Americans and dating multiple people at once? That's unheard of in my country. If you meet someone, you have dates and see how it goes. During that phase you are exclusive until you made you decision.
Looooooool where are you from???
I understand Your opinion and I'm from Sweden. We don't date several people at the same time (if You are descent and serious!) we dating one at the time.
Ref the emai at 11:41: they are not actually dating. It would be too soon to move to his town, but she could base herself there for a couple of months to see if there is something in it. Or she could invite him to come and stay in her town for a long weekend or a week, and see if regular dating over that time is as good as their other contact has been. In such situations, it's more about extending the time together for a bit, and THEN making a judgement about how to move forward. At this stage the relationship, if it is that, needs to show whether it can carry that and is worthy of that kind of investment.
That's still a huge commitment and a bit stalkerish if she's doing that without any discussions. Also v risky. Just have a convo ffs it's much easier
16:10 seriously this is why we need to hear a male perspective on this! Everything Audrey is asking I literally thought the same exact thing to what Matts responding to. At this moment (havent finished the video) I am wondering those questions as well.
A guy i'm talking to in an app for around 2 weeks asked me if İ was talking to more guys there or in any other app. İt felt kind of strange to me, without having even met in person yet. What do you think?
Make sure they dont have a "Friend with Benefits", their investment in you will be almost zero
Get in my jar😂😂😂😂
You guys can move in to marriage counselling!!
my boyfriend bahaved terribly at the first stages in our relationship..but I felt the potencial in him, which really developed during our 15 year relationship..
Man i have a lot to think about bc things have not been going like this at alllll 😂😅
"Get in my jar"...if a man said that to me, I'd be creeped out forever!!!
Maybe that's because you're a little bumble bee. Lol
I always wonder if I should even get into the dating game if the whole question of excusivity kind of doesn't make sense to me. I always feel like I would just hurt people.
The fact this is even a talking point...how far we have fallen
i was friends with my husband for several months before we started dating, so i feel that’s why we knew on date 2 that we wanted to make it exclusive. we were already comfortable around each other!
Did you see yourself with them during the friendship?
Did he ask you out of the blue? Did you have a feeling he was into you? Were you into him during your time as friends only? We need details
Good idea! Start as friends.
By Date 3 I want to know if I am exclusive!!
Audrey- you should take over this business!! You would have much more advice for us girls than Matt!! After all you were the one who somehow got him to commit!!!
Oxytocin.Woman,sex=Oxytocin.The feel good bonding love chemical that's produced by the woman during intercourse.Thats the Disneyland you talking about.😂😂😂❤
Can I get an email?
Nah thanks, this "exclusive" before relationship stuff just means guys get what they want then bail when things get real. I'm done with that label
Your either dating or in a relationship, none of this childish bs unless you're under 30 imo
Honest question, would you categorize "exclusive" as someone who's only 'dating for benefits'? Since it sounds like you are referring to it as something before (i assume) a serious relationship?
I'm in a similar spot. I went on a first date with someone recently and in the days afterwards, he asked if I was still looking on the dating apps. Well, my accounts were still open but I wasn't currently talking to anyone else. He likes to focus on one woman at a time when he's dating and felt like I was already treating him as an "option" by still being open to possible dates with others.
Honestly, this is a question you have to ask yourself. Do you like to focus on one guy at a time? Do you see this guy as an option? Do you WANT to see this guy as an option? If so, let them go and keep looking on the apps, if not, show through your actions that they're not an option to you. You don't have to close your accounts in front of them, but you should be able to confidently tell them whether you are still looking (by leaving the accounts open) or not (by closing the accounts). By leaving the accounts open, you are creating a future FOMO (fear of missing out) for yourself. Because IF something looks better say 6 months down the road, you WILL be distracted by it. It what these apps are made* to do.
This has more to do with self-integrity, if leaving the app accounts open is making you FEEL guilty, listen to your instincts. If it doesn't, then it doesn't.
@@raymondc9513 I think what I'm running into with this guy is that he "thinks" he knows me really well. And that I am what he wants, period. One date doesn't allow us to know someone well enough.
I don't see him as an option, or not, at this point because I don't know him. I put the dating apps on snooze for now, but I don't see this relationship going forward as he has significant boundary issues....well, a significant lack of boundaries.
Don't date a cheater
It is Never too early to ask for exclusivity …. if two people are just Dating and even not get intimate yet …. you have the Right to set your expectations that while you are Dating and getting to know this person you are not “talking” to others or seeing anyone else and either are they …. the intimacy part has Nothing to do with it …. and that will progress with time and naturally …. if one wants to do that more than the other then he/she will have to wait …. and if they can’t or won’t wait then obviously goodbye …. it is not unreasonable to believe or think that you are the only one this other person is Dating and wants to be with and to get to know …. this is Not the Bachelor Show ( ffs ) …. that is not reality in the least …. and of course people Can date multiple people at once if the others that they are with are aware of that and are ok with that …. but if you are Not ok with that then you can set your expectations of Exclusivity from day one …. 💫🌟 ( I have no idea who would be ok with someone dating them and courting them …. while they are also talking to and/or being with other people …. that is Insane )
Lots of "Players" comments here. IMO, it is rather simple. When you are starting to date someone and they ask you about dating others, you tell them straight up - Yes. That is the point of dating. Everyone who is single and actively dating does not approach it as a singular activity. Most people date multiple people simultaneously which everyone should do. It only gets messy when you start sleeping with one of the people you are dating. You have to be honest here and tell the others that you have slept with one of the people you're dating if you reach that point with them; you must let them decide how to move forward - no hard feelings. They may still want to date, but set boundaries around s*x.
Also, if any of them look to be someone you really want to get to know more exclusively, you have to tell the others the truth - that you have become a more serious with one of the people you're dating and you need to pull back in order to see where this relationship may go. You can always come back around if they are still single and it did not work out for you. You most likely will have to go exclusive in that situation too; nobody wants to go through that scenario more than once. Just my $.02 worth.
My introverted ass already finds one person to date too much social activity to manage 💀 dating several people simultaneously sounds like so much to track.
Yeah... my ADHD would find a way to destroy multiple connections at once if I tried to do that. I will stick to living my best life not focusing on dating multiple people who might be a good fit. That sounds awful!
How soon can we talk about it over dinner or a coffee
💜💜💜
I will say that focusing on 'connection' and not 'suitability' is a foolish approach (why build a connection with somebody who is actually not suitable). Being suitable can 'include' making that connection but making a 'connection' alone doesn't make a person 'suitable'.
and yes, in life, I've made great connections with several ladies I deemed unsuitable for pursuing any further and refocused on seeking better options for exclusivity based on suitability. An emotional connection is easy but a 'practical' connection based on suitability is not.
Sex is an activity for a person who doesn’t want a connection… Let’s get the right terminology for those two very different things.
Don’t ask! Pay close attention to when they text, when they don’t, what they say & don’t say… A person’s habits never change….
My life has just got more complicated. Someone I've known & cared for, for years, after I'd given up on them, finally said they love me. I said I loved them too. Then they started love-bombing me. They are at a very needy place in their lives. On antidepressants, sleep meds & strong painkillers. Hmmm ... 🙄🤔
I have to ask, what kind of things are they doing that you see as love-bombing (serious question)? I am not saying to allow their behavior to try and dictate your life, since it sounds like you've already spent plenty of emotional investment in this person. It can be extremely frustrating to know that all those feelings you felt had to be buried, but then were dug up the moment this person turned around and gave you something you had been wanting.
Has this been a person who's been extremely distant? When things get serious have they shut down in the past? Are they avoidant? Are they a fearfully attached person, which would explain the sudden neediness? These are things you must ask yourself, find the answers, ask them if they are aware of their behaviors and the effects on you AND them? Open communication will help lay down the ground work to sort this out, but there'll still be plenty of work needed once things are laid out on the table.
@raymondc9513 I'm not sure who YOU are, Raymond, let alone anything else! For all that, the questions you ask are useful and valid. I did, in fact, often feel like I had to bury my feelings, and indeed, he often has been distant just at the very times I'd wished he would be close, important family occasions, and he's even gone to the lengths of extreme evasiveness when I asked him straight about such things - lengths I would call 'lying'. This may be such an ingrained habit, it may destroy our chances.
... But where are my manners! Thank you for taking the trouble to share such perceptive and insightful comments with me.
Who's asking: "How Soon Can I Ask for Exclusivity?" A woman? Because she shouldn't. What she should do is, if she is looking for a husband, to keep dating multiple men at the same time. She should not ask a man for exclusivity, and she should not give him exclusivity until he wins her over and puts a ring on her finger. No ring, no exlusivity. Don't ask for exclusivity. Doing so would mean putting a man on a pedestal, making him too important, looking desperate and scaring him away. Let the man chose you out of other women. Give yourself chances to see other men to compare him to and see if you will really say 'yes' to him, when he chooses you. It's a MAN who should ask a woman for exclusivity. And he needs to feel he is in a competition with other men for this woman.
lol I developed an allergy to this response by the time I finished reading it, nice try tho
This is delusional…not sure you understand what exclusivity means. No man is putting a ring on a woman’s finger who is not exclusive with them. You also shouldn’t constantly be comparing him to others. That sounds like the mindset of a cheater
This is a bad take