Why little Asian women are AFRAID OF ME - Jessica Kirson full special

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  • Опубликовано: 6 окт 2024
  • Jessica talks about doing cruise ships and also her difficulties at the nail salon.
    Why little Asian women are afraid of me - Jessica Kirson full special
    Part 7/7 of Jessica Kirson's Comedy Central special: 'Talking to Myself', presented by Bill Burr.
    Follow Jessica at jessykirson
    www.jessicakirson.com
    #comedycentral #jessicakirson #billburr

Комментарии • 472

  • @dedox6749
    @dedox6749 Год назад +1631

    2:41 - Dark, _thick,_ *strong.* You have *strong hair like a rope.*
    IT HAD ME DEAD

    • @mngarrison
      @mngarrison Год назад +34

      I have heard the same thing when I go and have threading done.
      Yes... I know, full face. Let's go.

    • @Opawesum
      @Opawesum Год назад +27

      Well you don’t wanna look like Tom Selleck

    • @evinguidone6498
      @evinguidone6498 Год назад +3

      😂😂😂😂😂best fuckin line

    • @jessmontes8129
      @jessmontes8129 Год назад +3

      🤣🤣🤣

    • @neilhamaty41
      @neilhamaty41 9 месяцев назад +3

      I collapsed

  • @suprisedpika9731
    @suprisedpika9731 Год назад +1697

    As a little Asian women works as a receptionist at my mom’s salon, who is also a small Asian woman, this is 100% maybe not the name tags specifically but the misspellings, the PICK A COLOR, the money, it’s all true.

    • @DeaDiabola
      @DeaDiabola Год назад +38

      Definitely- I always admired that hardcore hustle, and I enjoy getting my nails done because I love being bossed around by tiny and also large women

    • @Liv-op2fi
      @Liv-op2fi Год назад +22

      Who doesn’t love being bossed by women

    • @DR-dr8dr8
      @DR-dr8dr8 Год назад +1

  • @mysterydata9640
    @mysterydata9640 2 года назад +4326

    Jessica would be a great voice actor too for an animated show.

  • @cheemster2619
    @cheemster2619 Год назад +2433

    I'm proud to say I had my very first near death experience while watching Jessica Kirson and eating a steak. "So Air looks at me" fucking got me

    • @lani7148
      @lani7148 Год назад +150

      The progression from "Claire" to "Laire" to "Aire" 🤣🤣

    • @mjp152
      @mjp152 Год назад +59

      Such an elegantly crafted joke - it took me a second to get it, but it is sooo good!

    • @lucykitty6492
      @lucykitty6492 Год назад +24

      Where’s my nephew! Got me.

    • @luisferr2001
      @luisferr2001 Год назад +15

      next time she mentioned this poor woman it was just gonna be "Ir"!!!! hahahaha!

    • @ohthatdickens69
      @ohthatdickens69 Год назад +10

      I didn't know it was possible, but I literally felt like I almost inhaled my tongue watching her I was laughing so hard. I have no idea how it happened but I think I'm ok.

  • @ggchiu7400
    @ggchiu7400 2 года назад +2398

    as a little Asian woman, I AM OKAY LOL IM OK SHE SAID THAT IT WAS HILARIOUS

    • @MustyUnderboob
      @MustyUnderboob Год назад +57

      We will never believe it until you change your profile picture to you covering your mouth with both hands. 😜

    • @TeriyakiDior
      @TeriyakiDior Год назад +39

      Hahahah yessss I’m Asian and I LEGIT, want her to do that voice all the time lmao

    • @keeptaiwanfree
      @keeptaiwanfree Год назад +46

      @Chandler Humphreys yeaaa i’m asian american a lot of social justice warriors LOVE to claim things are offensive or cultural appropriation and as Asians we try to tell them that it’s not always offensive, but they don’t listen. like i’m happy when i see someone not East Asian wearing a qipao because they like it. if that’s cultural appropriation, then i guess we need to stop sharing our cultures with everyone else in the world and only focus on our own. now, dressing up in a qipao and making slanted eyes and saying racist things would be a different story.

    • @timmysleftnutsack5075
      @timmysleftnutsack5075 Год назад +23

      @1694cgrntthis is the most white reply ever LOLL

    • @headcaptainyamamoto7015
      @headcaptainyamamoto7015 Год назад

      @@timmysleftnutsack5075 This is the most wsjw reply ever

  • @nova4476
    @nova4476 Год назад +631

    ‘‘I hope there’s no Blasians here’’ absolutely floored me

  • @heatherr0420
    @heatherr0420 Год назад +159

    There's this tiny little Chinese restaurant I go to on occasion that's right next door to my laundromat, and there's this woman who can't be more than 4'11" if that and every time I go in there she yells in the thickest of accents at the people that work there in like a hybrid of Chinese and English. She used to scare the hell out of me, then one day my car broke down and she was nice enough to offer me a ride home. I said yes but I thought she was going to be loud and scary. She spoke very softly and friendly, and she's asked me if when I go into the restaurant I find her intimidating. I wanted to be nice so I said no and then she said very matter of factly, " as long as the men are scared of me!! " We both laughed very knowingly

  • @bluebuffalooo
    @bluebuffalooo 2 года назад +836

    I am stifling my howling at work right now. This cubicle is my hell but goddamnit Jessica made my day 100x better

  • @nickia726
    @nickia726 Год назад +96

    “PICK A COLAHHHH!… YOU PICK A COLAHHH”
    👀👀👀😭😭 OKAY DANG OKAY!

  • @Rambutan.
    @Rambutan. 2 года назад +272

    Nooo I didn't want it to end. She slayed from start to finish.
    Hope she gets more success 🙌

  • @llewis921
    @llewis921 2 года назад +640

    I laughed so hard because I am a blasian and I used to do nails!

    • @luisferr2001
      @luisferr2001 Год назад +26

      is your name Laire, by any chance? hahahaha

    • @ramsescabrera7038
      @ramsescabrera7038 Год назад +42

      @@luisferr2001 I think it's offensive to think she's called Laire. Who knows? Maybe she's an Aire or Ire. Let's not assume things too soon, people.

    • @luisferr2001
      @luisferr2001 Год назад +5

      @@ramsescabrera7038 I was going by her initials, bro! hahaha

    • @ramsescabrera7038
      @ramsescabrera7038 Год назад +13

      @@luisferr2001 people use all sorts of initials, it could be a reference to Re's surname.

    • @Szystedt
      @Szystedt 6 месяцев назад

      @@ramsescabrera7038Or maybe people call them ’Miss E.’ perhaps? Let’s not assume everyone are comfortable sharing their names!

  • @sheogorath6196
    @sheogorath6196 Год назад +136

    I'm a Cosmetology, including nail tech student and this made me die LMAO!! We seriously do say, "PICK A COLOR!"

    • @irving.kuhauluajr.5392
      @irving.kuhauluajr.5392 Год назад +4

      Oh honey it’s gets way better when your in the business from little girl cleaning to young adult going state board doing the whole biz finishing school all the taxes and blah blah licensing blah blah. But however the people you meet and the memories you make are just like being a nurse. Welcome to the world and making it better each customer everyday at a time. Baby steps luv ❤ I believe in you. Also pls make sure for thin nail clients don’t go over load on filing lol. Just felt like a lot of us need to know this as a pro or not.

  • @miap6844
    @miap6844 2 года назад +439

    Hands down, this woman is one of the best comedians out there!

  • @tamaradavis4527
    @tamaradavis4527 Год назад +62

    When she went from Laire to Aire, I died 😂

  • @FOBStevie21
    @FOBStevie21 Год назад +195

    I didn't go more than a minute the whole special without laughing. This was a 10/10

  • @MamiTT237
    @MamiTT237 Год назад +62

    PICK A COLOR!!!!!!😂😂😂… CC told me last time… “you do wax too!” I was like I just did it last week she goes and says “no, your mustache long” 😂😂😂

  • @theembersinside1420
    @theembersinside1420 Год назад +23

    "I am about a minute away from being hospitalized." 🤣

  • @victorfinke8781
    @victorfinke8781 Год назад +23

    Her voice when she says TEN DOLLARS gives me Eartha Kitt in the best voice possible

  • @tom_something
    @tom_something Год назад +48

    I love how Claire lost another letter in the middle of the bit.

  • @Erin-ef7so
    @Erin-ef7so Год назад +13

    “ Ten minute, ten dolla!” Had me wheezing 😂 3:04

  • @Hunter-fs1nj
    @Hunter-fs1nj Год назад +16

    The way she says “STRONG” gets me every time

  • @Kul3girl
    @Kul3girl Год назад +112

    I have watched the Asian part so many times and I always die laughing every time 😂😂😂

  • @barjee8965
    @barjee8965 Год назад +13

    'So aire looks at me' fuckin destroyed me

  • @Jabibbles1
    @Jabibbles1 2 года назад +70

    Jessica I just discovered you today but you've already become one of my favorite comedians. You have a gift! Thanks for the laughs!

  • @applescruff909
    @applescruff909 Год назад +10

    "Tenminnit tendala..." is my new mantra.

    • @thebiggestcauldron
      @thebiggestcauldron Месяц назад

      I love oriental culture! ^^ _Tenminnit tendala_ is my favorite mantra! Namaste! 🙏

  • @evedotcom
    @evedotcom Год назад +10

    Omg the little Asian woman reaction to her/woman like her is SO spot on 😂 impeccable

  • @kristinwilliams3463
    @kristinwilliams3463 Год назад +41

    Asians aren’t the only ones😂
    When you yelled pick a color my cat jumped up and I started to die laughing 😂

  • @frankbarajas6043
    @frankbarajas6043 Год назад +13

    The Tom Selleck joke cracked me up!

  • @YoruMochizuki
    @YoruMochizuki Год назад +109

    As an asian I 100% am okay with this and laughed my ass off, random white ladies who are concerned, pls sit down its okay

  • @mysticseraph2213
    @mysticseraph2213 Год назад +17

    Noooo, this was too short! We need another full special, and soon! I had to pause several times because I was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe and started choking. Totally worth it, though. Best set I've seen in a long time.

  • @lijah9168
    @lijah9168 Год назад +4

    “DARK..THICK.. STRONG hair.. like a ROPE” 😂😂

  • @peterbarbato2525
    @peterbarbato2525 Год назад +16

    I saw Jessica several times on cruise ships. I laughed so hard I couldn't breathe 😅😅

  • @smadarcontini
    @smadarcontini Год назад +48

    I would pay so much money to see her and Bianca Del Rio in a show together.

  • @soicybunny
    @soicybunny 2 года назад +95

    I saw you on Tim Dillon’s pod a while back before your tour and just wanted to say you make me laugh more than any other comedian I have binged for the last couple years. Severely underrated and I adore your stage presence and admire your radiant confidence 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

  • @MomCatMeows
    @MomCatMeows Год назад +17

    She's so hysterical- never change Jessica 😂❤

  • @spencey3332
    @spencey3332 2 года назад +58

    i saw you on a netflix special, and instantly could not get enough,. i think you were only on that show for like 5 minuets and that was enough to really make your mark. you are a amazing comedian, and hope to see you go farther than you think possible! you made me laugh for many hours, thank you for brightening up my day :)

  • @Auresaus
    @Auresaus Год назад +11

    I ALMOST DIED BECAUSE I WAS LAUGHING SO MUCH😭😭😭😭😭

  • @lumyluv7058
    @lumyluv7058 2 года назад +24

    Jessica, you are awesome, brutally honest and incredibly hilarious.
    I wish you all the success in the world 🙏🏼♥️

  • @slugsandbeer4841
    @slugsandbeer4841 Год назад +3

    Watch her blogs from 12yrs ago. She does some if the same routines like this one. With variations. Her routines do not age. Divine

  • @melanie6014
    @melanie6014 2 года назад +10

    Oh my God. Wish I could have been at this show. Every clip I've seen is golden.

  • @Yojero
    @Yojero Год назад +11

    I just love her level of insanity, she's brilliant!!

  • @SkitHertz
    @SkitHertz Год назад +6

    Man, I haven't had a standup bit make me audibly laugh in awhile. The put down was hilarious.

  • @truthjunkie2325
    @truthjunkie2325 Год назад +5

    I like it when a comedian isn't afraid to go there....subbed...

  • @mollyfletcher7746
    @mollyfletcher7746 Год назад +7

    Just found this and she's amazing.
    Love that RUclips are giving comedians that I would never have known about a platform for me to find them on.

  • @vibhasreenivasan7696
    @vibhasreenivasan7696 Год назад +4

    One of the best comedians ever

  • @jackiejovanoska7362
    @jackiejovanoska7362 Год назад +3

    Omg how have I missed her si far? She us so hilarious abd really genuis!! Born comedian!!

  • @RBahn
    @RBahn Год назад +9

    This is just brilliant. Thank you for so many laughs and nice moments 💖

  • @mypham2788
    @mypham2788 Год назад +4

    Her Asian accent is ON POINT! 😂 (speaking as an Asian)

  • @matiasvarela9077
    @matiasvarela9077 Год назад +2

    One of the best shows, she looks happy 🤗

  • @tori-loo
    @tori-loo Год назад +15

    I only just found your comedy earlier this week and you're already one of my favourite comedians! You deserve so much more recognition and I hope you can one day tour in the UK! :)

  • @ishhaatt569
    @ishhaatt569 Год назад +1

    2:02 at the lower left corner, SUCH A BEAUTIFUL PERSON OH MY GOSH 🥹

  • @AsiaOfTheMultiverse
    @AsiaOfTheMultiverse 2 года назад +8

    One of the greatest comedians of all time! Truly brilliant!

  • @ambercimburek6872
    @ambercimburek6872 Год назад +5

    your awesome i accidentally found one of your shows and now I'm hooked you make me laugh it feels good in these stressful times.

  • @mackayladavis4021
    @mackayladavis4021 Год назад +44

    You are the funniest person I have ever seen. For most stand-up comedians, I only giggle out of courtesy but you evoke genuine, hysterical laughter out of me. You're friggin hilarious.

  • @Lyonessi
    @Lyonessi Год назад +12

    I actually feel proud of you Jess, keep doing what you're doing ❤️

  • @cherylpalazzo352
    @cherylpalazzo352 Год назад +4

    This is HILARIOUS because it’s so TRUE! I have done a similar imitation for so long! You cannot even get inside the door 🚪! They all stare no hello 👋! And yell out “ PICK A color!!!!!!! Lol and the 10 min 10 dollars for a massageeeee” works on me all the time ! Lmfaooo

  • @enriqueali
    @enriqueali Год назад +1

    Lol...she is totally unhinged! And I'm SO here for it! 🤣🤣🤣👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

  • @dansand6813
    @dansand6813 Год назад +2

    Can't believe i just discovered your comedy. Good, Jerry. Gold.

  • @vigodatopia2229
    @vigodatopia2229 2 года назад +24

    Jessica rules! I'll say it again, I want her and Paul Virzi to do a podcast together, there chemistry together is a weapon of mass destruction when I saw them on RAP

  • @AveryBryce
    @AveryBryce Год назад +4

    This is her funniest bit 😭

  • @terrymiddleton6077
    @terrymiddleton6077 Год назад +8

    This is the funniest thing I have ever seen!!! This woman is a comedic genius. She knows people so well. Love the faces she makes. I tried to read after seeing this and I could not get this skit out of my head so, I closed the book and watched this 30 more times.

  • @Ramekink
    @Ramekink Год назад +4

    The Claire/Laire/Aire bit is fucking underrated.

  • @marthawoodworth
    @marthawoodworth Год назад +2

    "You are so hairy!" my Asian waxing lady said to me.

  • @aquaphotoboy
    @aquaphotoboy Год назад +2

    A week ago I didn't know who Jessica was. Now I can't live without her! Amazing comedian 😅😂

  • @jeremygomez7924
    @jeremygomez7924 Год назад +2

    after watching a couple shorts I had to subscribe this girl is fking hilarious! !!

  • @paultheiii
    @paultheiii 2 года назад +13

    Jessica is absolutely hilarious

  • @vaughn4947
    @vaughn4947 2 года назад +6

    GOD BLESS THIS WOMAN!!!

  • @harryk8696
    @harryk8696 Год назад +2

    “i hope there are no blasians here” sent me 😂

  • @loopsruby
    @loopsruby 2 года назад +19

    That was so funny I laughed hard all the way through⭐️❤️

  • @evamalene2746
    @evamalene2746 Год назад +2

    Jessica is one of those comedians that after Ive seen her clips I just sit here with no sound and laughs hysterically like... Wtf did I just watch, but in a good kind of way. ROFLMAO!

  • @PeppahJack
    @PeppahJack 2 года назад +16

    Loved you on that Tim Dillon episode as well and saw you at Comedyworks on May 14th shortly after and it was the hardest I laughed at a show by far. The laughs were so stacked I thought I was gonna pass out at one point. And that’s including comedians with big followings I’ve seen live like Tom segura and Tim Dillon, you absolutely deserve more recognition which means you will receive it.

  • @deirdregahansuttle5698
    @deirdregahansuttle5698 Год назад +2

    Fab laugh out loud watching this

  • @stevenfranks3131
    @stevenfranks3131 Год назад +2

    "I'm about a minute away from being hospitalized...."

  • @danielanjos7947
    @danielanjos7947 Год назад +3

    You are amazing. Best Female comedian alive for sure.

  • @josephparis9736
    @josephparis9736 Год назад +2

    Jessica you are freaking awesome. You need to have your own HBO MAX special live. Great work...JP

  • @deesorrento2692
    @deesorrento2692 Год назад +7

    Jessica you are alot better and funnier than most comics thanks for making me laugh and putting a smile on my face.

  • @josephjames2011
    @josephjames2011 2 года назад +19

    only 270 views and im 5 of them , why is Jess not the most popular comedian on the planet?

    • @vigodatopia2229
      @vigodatopia2229 2 года назад

      Because God See's you touching yourself at night

  • @sugarlandshihtzu1538
    @sugarlandshihtzu1538 Год назад +6

    I had to just stop this Midway when you talked about picking a color!
    This is the same feeling I feel!! Whyyyy do I dread this?!
    You are very strong!! (you give inspiration to me ((I hope you don't downplay your awesomeness in real life!))
    Sending aggressive hugs your way :)

  • @irandude1655
    @irandude1655 Год назад +4

    Jessica, you are a lot! and that's why you are in the business you in. Only huge personalities can sustain a stand up comedy job. :

  • @mauricioortizaznar1972
    @mauricioortizaznar1972 2 месяца назад

    She’s brilliant!
    Best wishes for her!!!
    Greetings from Buenos Aires, Argentine ❤

  • @erinjames4024
    @erinjames4024 Год назад +4

    So funny! We have to learn to laugh at ourselves.

  • @cathleenroberts4218
    @cathleenroberts4218 Год назад +4

    I just freaking choked Iove her!

  • @SMGyal
    @SMGyal 2 года назад +5

    STRONG hair like rope! 😂

  • @orionlleyessa1306
    @orionlleyessa1306 25 дней назад

    😂YaaaaY! She got a standing O:)😂 Soooo fun and FUNNY:))

  • @debbiedisan229
    @debbiedisan229 Год назад +3

    Omg can't stop laughing lol

  • @nadjie13
    @nadjie13 2 месяца назад

    Love love love jessica!!! This is one of my most favorite bits!😂

  • @cherryAsh83
    @cherryAsh83 2 года назад +7

    You are a comedic goddess, I love you 👑👏👏👏👏

  • @felixlizarraga1033
    @felixlizarraga1033 2 года назад +11

    She makes me cry every time! Every single fucking time! Every time she turns around and does the Jewish guilt thing I LOSE IT!!!!!

  • @petersmith9152
    @petersmith9152 8 месяцев назад

    The way she works the crowd so naturally. She can read people really well. I love her she’s the funniest person in the world.
    Strong hair like a rope.

  • @novalley9860
    @novalley9860 Год назад +2

    this shit literally happened to me today. "we fix eyebrows and upper lip?" ouch

  • @lisas5211
    @lisas5211 Год назад +3

    Get her an ARENA!!!

  • @justinluc2572
    @justinluc2572 11 месяцев назад +3

    As an asian male who has worked at a high-end nail salon for five years, this is all accurate as fuck. lol

  • @colettewaddell8362
    @colettewaddell8362 Год назад +4

    You are hilarious! I love watching you work

  • @TrulyNamaste
    @TrulyNamaste 3 месяца назад

    You are just what I needed, life can be a fuck bucket sometimes but you made water come out of my eyes for laughter ty x

  • @ravenclaw_4life722
    @ravenclaw_4life722 Год назад +2

    I SPAT MY WATER ON MY COMPUTER 😭

  • @medusagorgon8432
    @medusagorgon8432 Год назад +2

    'Air' 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

  • @marionmarino1616
    @marionmarino1616 Год назад +2

    Lotta truth in her routine!

  • @adrukova1407
    @adrukova1407 11 месяцев назад +2

    Im blasian and i love you, Jessica!!😂❤🎉

  • @deshaebraun3962
    @deshaebraun3962 Год назад +2

    Where is my nephew!!! 🤣🤣🤣

  • @heikepeterson8401
    @heikepeterson8401 2 года назад +7

    PIKAKALA!!!!