Mark,could you please help me I am a like a gay ,I define my as gay because in my whole life time I have afraid of boy ,as I am a boy and have little , different attracted toward the women t,but very rare like I am 20 now I use to get attracted more toward 30to 40 yr women but not young girls what is it could you explain please
I use to feel suicidal many time ,I live in India why God has given me this life ,india people use to hate every lgbt people I does have done anything wrong but people on daily basis provide me full torture,nobody is friends I am feeling to end my life.
@@Ravisingh-hm2kx it seems as if you have a preference of the women you are attracted too. As far as the guy you are afraid of, if it’s the same feeling (and I have no idea but speculating here) that one has when they see their crush, then maybe that’s what it is, a crush on him. As far as how you Identify yourself, that’s up to you, don’t let others label you, just go with how you feel.
To chat with me and meet other people just like you join us at patreon.com/notdefining. To book 1:1 coaching with me check out www.notdefining.com. To support our channel and get priority replies to comments plus much more, click the JOIN button.
Bi woman in a straight-passing relationship here, sometimes it really does feel like two different worlds when i'm with my hetero friends vs. my queer friends. I feel like a lot of the time, people in the queer community have done more deconstructing/unlearning of arbitrary societal expectations, and I feel much more seen by people like that. I find I really struggle with social anxiety/isolation when I'm in mostly straight spaces.
Because of the trauma I went through as a child i much prefer to remain single for life i have trust issues plus i don't feel the need to be in a relationship im 33 years old
Best of both worlds? I have experienced utter disbelief, and rudeness from both. My definition of my sexuality has always been; the "Bus" ( body), is irrelevant. I like the driver.
What if you leave it up to fate? Where you go about the world presenting yourself as you are, and perhaps find someone that will accept you as your full self, whether they’re straight, gay, bi, or queer. Or perhaps you realize you’d like to be poly, or not date, or date but on your own terms like you mentioned. Also, did you mean to say that gay and lesbian people are shut off from the “straight dating world” rather than the “straight world?” Thanks for sharing your experience as a bi+ folk!
Hey thanks so much for your kind words. Yes I think I will follow your guidance. Just leave it to fate. I guess I meant shut off from acceptance in the hetero normative world.
I relate. And of course! Of course we are wondering "which way is it going to go", because there's hugely different expectations put on us based on what gender we end up with (if you're LTR oriented). You know, it's "will I be assumed to be have been gay all along forever or will I be assumed to want to live a heteronormative life (or worse, 'back in the closet') forever?". Thankfully we don't have that much power to decide who we end up with 🙏
I’m a straight woman married to a bisexual man. It’s nice to get your perspective on life in general being bi. We’ve been married for years and he openly regrets not exploring sexually with men, at all. We married young. Trying to educate myself and not spiral into negativity over feeling inadequate or that I could lose him. Your videos have been really helpful!
Hey thank you so much for watching and for taking the time to comment. It sounds like you’re really trying to learn and understand your husband better. This warms my heart. I know it’s not easy and you are seen. We appreciate you and are here for YOU as well. You are so welcome here and part of our community. Sending big love 🩷💜💙
In English, they means singular when the gender is not specified. For example “someone dropped their keys, if they come back will you tell them they dropped their keys?” Singular. But you don’t know what the gender is so in English we use they. In Latin and Semitic languages you use “he” as the default but in English we used “they”. So you can call me “he” if you want to refer to my gender or you can call me “they” if you want to be neutral (because I don’t need you to refer to my gender!). Does that make sense?
@@notdefining oh, thanks for the explanation! i didn't know, that there is a possibility to refere to someone without using a gender-related term. in german it's not possible, if you want to say it "neutral" you have to say something like he or she lost his or her keys...sounds always a bit odd . or you would say somebody lost his or her keys....
@@Bea-ex1yf fair enough. Yes. It’s possible in English. Although most English speakers dont understand when I say my pronouns. They’re like “you can’t call yourself them!!!” Then I have to explain the grammar to them.
I found your channel today and I appreciate how real you are in all your videos. What you said about being all too aware of having straight-passing privilege, I totally relate. I’m in a bi4bi relationship with a bi man, and tho I am nonbinary, I currently am treated/am perceived as a woman. As a result, we can talk about and share our relationship with anybody freely with no questions asked. But, I also experience some dysphoria in a fem body, and I want to work on a different style of gender presentation, with my ideal being something genderqueer- something that would make most people used to a binary world confused. And I see how changing my presentation also destroys that safety I have at present. That privilege is not something I truly desire, but I think it could result in losing some friends or family. :/ also it’s so cool to hear from another acespec bi person!
Thank you for your channel. I’m a straight male married to a bi woman and I’m education myself on the point of view of the LGBT community.
I literally love you for doing that. Thank you. From our community. This makes me want to cry. 🩷💜💙
Mark,could you please help me I am a like a gay ,I define my as gay because in my whole life time I have afraid of boy ,as I am a boy and have little , different attracted toward the women t,but very rare like I am 20 now I use to get attracted more toward 30to 40 yr women but not young girls what is it could you explain please
I use to feel suicidal many time ,I live in India why God has given me this life ,india people use to hate every lgbt people I does have done anything wrong but people on daily basis provide me full torture,nobody is friends I am feeling to end my life.
@@Ravisingh-hm2kx it seems as if you have a preference of the women you are attracted too. As far as the guy you are afraid of, if it’s the same feeling (and I have no idea but speculating here) that one has when they see their crush, then maybe that’s what it is, a crush on him. As far as how you Identify yourself, that’s up to you, don’t let others label you, just go with how you feel.
To chat with me and meet other people just like you join us at patreon.com/notdefining.
To book 1:1 coaching with me check out www.notdefining.com.
To support our channel and get priority replies to comments plus much more, click the JOIN button.
Bi woman in a straight-passing relationship here, sometimes it really does feel like two different worlds when i'm with my hetero friends vs. my queer friends. I feel like a lot of the time, people in the queer community have done more deconstructing/unlearning of arbitrary societal expectations, and I feel much more seen by people like that. I find I really struggle with social anxiety/isolation when I'm in mostly straight spaces.
Because of the trauma I went through as a child i much prefer to remain single for life i have trust issues plus i don't feel the need to be in a relationship im 33 years old
Hey thanks for sharing. I hear you completely. Being single is great quite a lot of the time.
It’s always nice to tune in to your videos ❤
(You deserve the world)
Omg thank you this was really touching
Best of both worlds? I have experienced utter disbelief, and rudeness from both. My definition of my sexuality has always been; the "Bus" ( body), is irrelevant. I like the driver.
Wow I love this. Love this analogy.
@@notdefining thank you for your content! Thank you for existing!❤️
This video very informative for so many reasons! Thank you.💪🏽💖
You are so welcome!
When you fall in love you fall in love and that’s who you’ll want to be with . Forget labels
Love that
❤❤🎉🎉😢
What if you leave it up to fate? Where you go about the world presenting yourself as you are, and perhaps find someone that will accept you as your full self, whether they’re straight, gay, bi, or queer. Or perhaps you realize you’d like to be poly, or not date, or date but on your own terms like you mentioned.
Also, did you mean to say that gay and lesbian people are shut off from the “straight dating world” rather than the “straight world?”
Thanks for sharing your experience as a bi+ folk!
Hey thanks so much for your kind words. Yes I think I will follow your guidance. Just leave it to fate. I guess I meant shut off from acceptance in the hetero normative world.
I relate. And of course! Of course we are wondering "which way is it going to go", because there's hugely different expectations put on us based on what gender we end up with (if you're LTR oriented). You know, it's "will I be assumed to be have been gay all along forever or will I be assumed to want to live a heteronormative life (or worse, 'back in the closet') forever?".
Thankfully we don't have that much power to decide who we end up with 🙏
🩷🩷🩷
Continuing to stay tune to your content
Hey thanks for tuning in.
I’m a straight woman married to a bisexual man. It’s nice to get your perspective on life in general being bi. We’ve been married for years and he openly regrets not exploring sexually with men, at all. We married young. Trying to educate myself and not spiral into negativity over feeling inadequate or that I could lose him. Your videos have been really helpful!
Hey thank you so much for watching and for taking the time to comment. It sounds like you’re really trying to learn and understand your husband better. This warms my heart. I know it’s not easy and you are seen. We appreciate you and are here for YOU as well. You are so welcome here and part of our community. Sending big love 🩷💜💙
I get you so much Mark and I feel misunderstood myself, by both communities. Thank you.
Hey thanks for saying you relate. I’m with you.
7:20 The dating world and the job market are the same. It’s clearly designed to exclude people.
Ha. Yes.
💞💞💞
sorry, perhaps its because I'm not a nstive speaker...i don't get your pronouns...he-ok that's clear, but why they?❤
In English, they means singular when the gender is not specified. For example “someone dropped their keys, if they come back will you tell them they dropped their keys?” Singular. But you don’t know what the gender is so in English we use they. In Latin and Semitic languages you use “he” as the default but in English we used “they”. So you can call me “he” if you want to refer to my gender or you can call me “they” if you want to be neutral (because I don’t need you to refer to my gender!). Does that make sense?
@@notdefining oh, thanks for the explanation! i didn't know, that there is a possibility to refere to someone without using a gender-related term. in german it's not possible, if you want to say it "neutral" you have to say something like he or she lost his or her keys...sounds always a bit odd . or you would say somebody lost his or her keys....
@@Bea-ex1yf fair enough. Yes. It’s possible in English. Although most English speakers dont understand when I say my pronouns. They’re like “you can’t call yourself them!!!” Then I have to explain the grammar to them.
I found your channel today and I appreciate how real you are in all your videos. What you said about being all too aware of having straight-passing privilege, I totally relate. I’m in a bi4bi relationship with a bi man, and tho I am nonbinary, I currently am treated/am perceived as a woman. As a result, we can talk about and share our relationship with anybody freely with no questions asked. But, I also experience some dysphoria in a fem body, and I want to work on a different style of gender presentation, with my ideal being something genderqueer- something that would make most people used to a binary world confused. And I see how changing my presentation also destroys that safety I have at present. That privilege is not something I truly desire, but I think it could result in losing some friends or family. :/
also it’s so cool to hear from another acespec bi person!
like your channel! learn a lot😃
Awesome, thank you!
Having trouble hearing you again..
😞
If two people are bisexual and they date, is that classed as gay?
If two people of any orientation date they are the same orientation as they always were.