This was at the height of his illness and he was scared of losing his mind, and losing Bibi as a result (she was his girlfriend at the time). It is a beautiful song and it is incredible that he could write and perform this in the depths of his illness and despair. An incredible artist. I think your reaction is the first one I have seen from a videographer's point of view - most people focus on the song. Shout out to everyone involved in it.
This one is a rough one for me. Ren said, this was filmed after 3 scary ER visits snd a nervous breakdown. The end of a cold October. He wanted to show the things about himself he felt were ugly, his horribly underweight body. Take it and alchemize it into something beautiful. To see him like that hurts my heart. SEEING him cry, nearly shatters it. I tend to FEEL to much.
YOU DO NOT FEEL TOO MUCH. The cold, indifferent, apathetic, passionles and uninteresting world feels way too little. I promise you, with all of my bona-fide psychic abilities, I see you finding your people, your tribe. Its entirely possible they may be supernatural beings, or very rare persons like me who have heard 'lighten up, man, you're so freakin intense all the time' maybe even more times than you? At least four thousand and twelve times. On Tuesday. I wish all the best to you. I used to hope desperately, every morning, at the city bus stop that people who knew me and loved me that I would never dare approach being as they looked so cool, like PunkRock Samurai from deep in the forest, living in a Gypsy caravan, wearing swords and gunbelts, and all the females had sharpened, perfectly balanced hair sticks holding up messy buns but that they could throw n hit center on any target in a heartbeat. Every one of these imaginary bad-asses, all of which were truly cooler than I could even feature, did, for real, one by one, enter and take a huge crucial role in my life. And they were and are, like my truest family. I trust them, they trust me. We have eachother's backs forever, at least until this episode ends, but never fear, because you will find them again in the next one. You, yourself, are just as amazing and just as much a Warrior, because you were given a precious, golden heart at birth and as you have grown, your heart and your bravery and your empathy and your compassion have grown. Never let anyone shame you for the immensity of your experience. They are bored, and they are boring and you, you are special and you are a badass.
This music video, and the video he made of himself talking about how he didn't know if he was going to survive. 😢 He wasn't much older than my oldest son when he made that. Seeing his bony shoulders and swollen cheeks made me so sad. All I could see was if my son was in that place.
@@acegardner4425 This was very nice and well written. Thank you. I'm sorry, I didn't see this until just now. Or I would have replied sooner. Take care and be safe.
The thing to remember about a crutch ( figuratively or literally) , you only need it till you can stand up on your own. That’s one way to interpret this video- Bibi stayed as his crutch till he could stand . We know they were at university together and when he got ill and had to drop out she campaigned to raise the funds to pay for his stem cell transplant that started him on the road to recovery. So whatever the reason they eventually broke up for , she did see him thru the worst . That’s my take anyway - only BiBi and Ren will know the story . And it’s their story and I am grateful for the part they let us see. Great reaction btw Joe E . I was looking forward to your analysis of the videography - I knew you would like this one .
Ren's stem cell transplant was free. The money was a blessing and helped him finally get the correct diagnosis of Lymes disease. Ren said in an interview that when he posted his video about how bad his illness really was (the video is an early one on his channel) the doctor saw it by some off chance and reached out to Ren. They even let him stay with them so he could get the treatment without having to pay for a place to stay.
To me this one stands for the fact that people, drugs, etc can help us back to our feet when we need help, but ultimately we have to learn to cope with it on our own. It's a beautiful and heartbreaking video. Bibi helped save Ren's life by setting up the fundraiser that helped him get his Lyme diagnosis, when she was his girlfriend. This is such an incredible legacy to their connection.
This is one of my favorites! Both the song and the video are absolutely stunning. And it was before he knew he had Lyme Disease, so he didn’t know whether his health and his mind would continue to deteriorate 😿 I think the only reason I can watch it is because his health has improved. It’s powerful!
Ren said this was about his fear.. that no one would stay with him (or could love him) if he lost his mind. He shows the struggle she went through to keep him going, to get him on his feet. When I first watched I wondered if she was even real. If she was a delusion he was using as a crutch and he was afraid if he got better she'd be gone. Either way she got him on his feet - she was his crutch to get him up. What I find amazing is he wrote this before his "correct" diagnosis and near the worst of his illness. That he was writing like this, creating this idea when he was so ill is unbelievable. I'm not sure when they actually filmed in relation to his diagnosis.
I think it shows the gap between the romantic idea of staying with someone and being their support mechanism through a terrible breakdown, and the harsh reality. Really enjoyed your reaction.
Ren writes explanations sometimes in the comments under videos. In this one he thanks all the people who care for others so I think he means another person as a crutch to help you through hard times.
Yes, I recently ordered the album, Freckled Angels. It's a fantastic album but yesterday I had to skip this song. Sometimes Ren's pain is overwhelming.
Read Sammy D's.. Bibi was his crutch and I'm sure it became impossible because Ren was so sick. Bless Ren, for allowing us to see how bad it was, truly heartbreaking, he was nothing but skin and bones. Food was any enemy to his body.
As a photographer who shoots mostly high contrast portraits (and someone who teaches photography) this has always been my fave video of Rens for the artistry of the lighting and framing.
This song is so painful and heart-rending. I have multiple mental issues, including depression and anxiety. I got it all under control. Was doing so well. I was off my meds (in a good way lol) using CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy...I was told that it stood for something else also and from the grin on their face-I ain't Googling it lol. But I figured I'd clarify 😂). I had also gotten my various anxieties in hand. I had friends, an actual social life, and I met the love of my life. I had a fantastic job with amazing pay, benefits, pension plan, 401k. I'd worked there for SEVENTEEN years! 6 months after my bf and I started dating and he'd moved in (little fast but there were reasons), I fell in my butt in the snow. Didn't even bruise. The next day I could barely move. I brushed it off, but over the next few months it kept getting worse. I had to keep taking time off from work. Burned through my vacation and fmla in months. Finally, I went to my doctor. So many tests later and so much pain all the time, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia(recently they've discovered it's side-by-side with another autoimmunity condition so....yay.). As a diagnosis of exclusion, there's a lot of skepticism about it. Ppl who tell you that you are faking it so you don't have to work, etc. Funny thing about fibro. It doesn't care what ppl think. It just hurts. Every injury (and there were lots. There's a reason momma never named me Grace lol), every arthritic joint, every bump or bruise from the past came to haunt me. If I bumped into the table, it felt like someone had hit it with a homerun swing with an oak bat. Nothing helped, nerve meds, antidepressants, antiinflammatories. Spinal shots, trigger point and facet point injections. Finally, they just put me on hydrocodone and I've been maintaining with that. I'm also on the other stuff too. The combo of zoloft, Norco, klonopin, ibuprofen 800, Lyrica, and a muscle relaxer seems to help enough that I can function. Some of the stuff is for the major depression disorder, epic panic attacks and (yay.) agoraphobia. Because all of my carefully constructed mechanisms to handle my stuff had just crumbled. Anyway, sorry for the novella, but all this time (and even now) I'm terrified that my bf will wake up and see that he didn't sign up for this mess and leave. He's my crutch, I guess. He keeps me from giving up. I've been worrying for almost 10 years now. I think we might be OK lol. I still get so scared. I just wanted to put this out there. I know no one asked lol and I always overshare, but it was a big feeling and I needed to get it out. Hugs and be blessed 💜
If he's anything like me with my spouse who also goes through a lot, he just loves you. All of that is a part of what makes you you. Where others might see weakness, I see strength. Not giving up, moving forward even in pain and distress. In sickness and in health. Thank you for sharing what you are going through. Hang in there!
You guys made me cry, lol. Julie, thank you for sharing about your spouse. I know he loves me; I just really can't figure out why, lol. I just wish I could make it easier for him. Thank you both for commenting.
@bethanymichelle3261 cuz I'm stubborn, and i honestly thought I'd just wrenched my back. I kept putting it off and thinking I was being a baby over something stupid. I was afraid the doc would look at me like I was stupid and tell me that it's _just_ a wrenched muscle and what did I expect them to do! Never said I was bright lol
I love hearing your perspective on it, it is a beautifully shot video. As far as the message, I think it can be interpreted several ways, I also get that even if you have a partner who is more than willing to support you at the start, if they haven't experienced mental health issues before it may get to a point where they can't deal with it and leave. It's very sad, but happens. Great reaction ❤
Finally! To hear someone see and talk about the amazing use of light is phenomenal. As a graphic designer noticing those gradients and the detail they highlighted was a treat. I took the meaning of the song as Bibi being his crutch. She was his girlfriend back then. I like your take on it too.
As other people have said, the song is about fear of abandonment, but it also addresses other fears Ren had at the time: the skinscapes were a way of Ren dealing with body dysmorphia due to the weightloss he'd experienced with his illness. The change to blue/white lights in the second part of the video also do a great job to enhance the fear and confusion, and exclusion, he experienced during that time. It's a masterful video and one of the most gut-wrenching songs in his catalog.
I am happy to see you dive deep into Ren's early music. I love this song, even though it, too, is sad. Hauntingly beautiful, though. This song was released in May 2016, but I believe Ren wrote this much earlier when he was still misdiagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and mental health issues. I read somewhere that the girl in the video is his then-girlfriend, Bibi. She started a GoFundMe campaign that allowed Ren to go to Belgium to finally get diagnosed with Lyme Disease. Ren explained that it was freezing cold that night, and he thought he was going into hypothermia during the filming. Here is an excerpt of what Ren wrote about this song: “The song came about after a nervous breakdown following lots of visits to [the] emergency room after some scary health problems. It's a song for anybody who has faced any kind of mental challenges, depression, anxiety, or health struggles while in a relationship and all the fears that come along for the ride with that. It is also a song for the courageous and wonderful people who support their other halves, family or friends during times of crisis.”
Cinematography on this one is raw!! It perfectly encapsulates Ren's physical and mental health at the time. I'd really like your take on 'Penitence' by Ren ft Molly McKinna
When i first saw this i thought it was a grest art peace. The Crutch was their relationship. The pills were his medication, not illicit drugs... Good reaction... one can see it's your passion...
I know others have said it, but Ren was in such a bad place. He was so skinny and felt he was dying. Bibi was his girlfriend at the time and hoped she'd stick around through the very tough times. Not sure how they split up, so I won't presume anything. Beautiful song 🎵 beautiful reaction.
This song has always hit me so hard, with it's content and with it's beauty, but your reaction and breakdown gave me a totally new appreciation of the video. Thank you!
I have no particular knowledge about filming and how to set up etc - but I can tell when something is beautiful, This video is incredibly beautiful. I even think if you cut out the music and the song, the video alone would tell the story. The piano and the words are strong on their own, but I think the video could easily stand alone and still deliver a strong message. Thanks for another great reaction video Joe
Well, this may be my favourite reaction of yours to Ren! You had so many great insights to the cinematography, and were so reverential of the artistic choices that Tom/Ren made, AND were so taken by the song & its messages. I mean, it was pretty much obvious that you would be all of those things for this song, but it was really beautiful to watch it play out for you. And me not being any kind of film expert at all, I know when I see something I like or that evokes certain reactions from me but I don't know anything about whether it would be considered well-done by others in those professions, so I was super interested to hear your videographer's POV.
He did “lose his mind” and she didn’t stay with him. As a cancer survivor, I’ve heard so many stories about husbands leaving wives while their wives are going through treatment. That shit happens. And Ren knows it. He lived it… Love you! Thanks for your channel! ❤
This song crushes me every.single.time… 😢 I’m having severe anxiety these days because of some shit going on in my life and I have a list of songs I listen to when I need a good cry to release some tension and this song is on the list.
Somewhere I read where Ren said this is at the peak of his illness and he was severely underweight, thus making it hard to stay warm. I think this is visually and lyrically one of RENs greatest tracks. And most reactors sleep on it!
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ OMG OMG OMG THIS IS MY FAVORITE SOOOOOOOOO GLAD YOU DID THIS... At work so have to waiti and watch it in a bit but had to come in here and say Thank you.... and I'm so excited to see your thoughts!!!!!!!!!
When that sort of hollow distant bass comes in right before Bibi starts singing, immediately brought back flashes of early Prince. Loving your insights and advice. Big ups from Humboldt County.
Love your unique technical perspective, as always. Fascinating and helped me get through this song focused on something other than the painful emotional aspect.
Bibi said while singing "I could be your crutch"...so I'm assuming she was the crutch he was talking about. He sings "everything I touch turns to dust", so his crutch was there and then she wasn't. Must of been something he touched (loved and cared about) turned to dust and was gone.
I am so excited that you reacted to this one. I knew you would love the videography in it. 😊. I won’t explain the song, as so many other have done so. Again, I love your excitement when explaining how things are done, and your true appreciating for the art of others. 😊
As an amateur photographer I certainly do appreciate the imagery in this video - I really appreciate your knowledge input to the intricacies of the detail.
Oh no that intro. When you’re saying you’re not sure you’re ready for both an emotional song and interesting videography 😅 Sorry Joe, but that is exactly what you got 😂 Crutch is one of my absolute favourite Ren songs. It is a stunning and raw portrayal of agony and fear in every little detail. The lyrics, the singing, the music, and even the video. And never has distortion sounded so emotional! Heart wrenching but beautiful song.
I feel like she is his crutch as he is going through things, but he is so worried she wont be there....and then at the end, she isnt. so in reality did he wait too late and the whole thing was imagined after she was gone, perhaps she wanted to be his crutch and he didnt let her because of being scared..
I jumped in as soon as I saw the thumbnail!! I KNEW you’d love both the cinematography and the song!! Looove learning from your videographer point of view.
Really love and appreciate your thorough reaction on this. I love it when reactors really appreciate and understand the art work in this video and how much skill was involved.
I interpret it as in the soft yellow lighting I see Ren dealing with the PAIN of the ailment he was dealing with . When electric guitar came in it was the mind he was loosing and the drugs he was taking along with the withdrawl from the drugs. Bibi was a friend that was trying to help with it but Ren could not let himself drag her down with him !! heartbreaking !
Hi Joe E, this is the second time I have seen Rens song. The first time, I saw/heard this song, someone was doing drugs and was in a bad way. Bibi was there for him. Then I heard Rens story. I loved your videography perspective, I saw/heard beauty, fear, and hope...What's that saying "pictures paint a thousand words" Qdos to Ren and co. Just beautiful...Peace🙏☝️🎇☝️🖼😌
Hey Joe E ( 2 e's no y), loving your emotive and insightful reactions, particularly from a videographers point of view. Something that seems so simple has been crafted with such care and depth 🔥
I loved hearing your perspective on this one, I love your passion. This is one Ren video I’ve only seen twice, it’s too rough for me but I knew your input oils be fabulous.
Please Just keep on exploring and appreciating with your open heart and and trained eye. I don't do anti-social media,but can't deny it's a pleasure to experience 'stuff' along with you. From da UK ...Blessings 🇬🇧👍✨
Brilliant reaction to a brilliant track and video, it's a heavy duty set of lyrics...having already listened to this song a bunch of times, quite often it strikes me that it wouldn't be out of place on Pink Floyd's "The Wall" album, it carries the same vibe/feeling/delivery as some of the stuff on there too.
This was at the height of his illness and he was scared of losing his mind, and losing Bibi as a result (she was his girlfriend at the time). It is a beautiful song and it is incredible that he could write and perform this in the depths of his illness and despair. An incredible artist. I think your reaction is the first one I have seen from a videographer's point of view - most people focus on the song. Shout out to everyone involved in it.
Yes 🙌🏼 this !❤❤❤❤
Anyone know why they aren't together anymore?
This one is a rough one for me.
Ren said, this was filmed after 3 scary ER visits snd a nervous breakdown. The end of a cold October.
He wanted to show the things about himself he felt were ugly, his horribly underweight body.
Take it and alchemize it into something beautiful.
To see him like that hurts my heart.
SEEING him cry, nearly shatters it.
I tend to FEEL to much.
YOU DO NOT FEEL TOO MUCH.
The cold, indifferent, apathetic, passionles and uninteresting world feels way too little.
I promise you, with all of my bona-fide psychic abilities, I see you finding your people, your tribe.
Its entirely possible they may be supernatural beings, or very rare persons like me who have heard 'lighten up, man, you're so freakin intense all the time' maybe even more times than you? At least four thousand and twelve times. On Tuesday.
I wish all the best to you.
I used to hope desperately, every morning, at the city bus stop that people who knew me and loved me that I would never dare approach being as they looked so cool, like PunkRock Samurai from deep in the forest, living in a Gypsy caravan, wearing swords and gunbelts, and all the females had sharpened, perfectly balanced hair sticks holding up messy buns but that they could throw n hit center on any target in a heartbeat. Every one of these imaginary bad-asses, all of which were truly cooler than I could even feature, did, for real, one by one, enter and take a huge crucial role in my life.
And they were and are, like my truest family. I trust them, they trust me. We have eachother's backs forever, at least until this episode ends, but never fear, because you will find them again in the next one.
You, yourself, are just as amazing and just as much a Warrior, because you were given a precious, golden heart at birth and as you have grown, your heart and your bravery and your empathy and your compassion have grown.
Never let anyone shame you for the immensity of your experience. They are bored, and they are boring and you, you are special and you are a badass.
This music video, and the video he made of himself talking about how he didn't know if he was going to survive. 😢 He wasn't much older than my oldest son when he made that. Seeing his bony shoulders and swollen cheeks made me so sad. All I could see was if my son was in that place.
@@acegardner4425 This was very nice and well written.
Thank you.
I'm sorry, I didn't see this until just now.
Or I would have replied sooner.
Take care and be safe.
I mean this song and video broke me like no other song or video ever has not just because of the words but because of the imagery. I'm with you.
I feel ya on the FEELIN too much. It's debilitating at times😢
The thing to remember about a crutch ( figuratively or literally) , you only need it till you can stand up on your own. That’s one way to interpret this video- Bibi stayed as his crutch till he could stand . We know they were at university together and when he got ill and had to drop out she campaigned to raise the funds to pay for his stem cell transplant that started him on the road to recovery. So whatever the reason they eventually broke up for , she did see him thru the worst . That’s my take anyway - only BiBi and Ren will know the story . And it’s their story and I am grateful for the part they let us see. Great reaction btw Joe E . I was looking forward to your analysis of the videography - I knew you would like this one .
Ren's stem cell transplant was free. The money was a blessing and helped him finally get the correct diagnosis of Lymes disease. Ren said in an interview that when he posted his video about how bad his illness really was (the video is an early one on his channel) the doctor saw it by some off chance and reached out to Ren. They even let him stay with them so he could get the treatment without having to pay for a place to stay.
To me this one stands for the fact that people, drugs, etc can help us back to our feet when we need help, but ultimately we have to learn to cope with it on our own. It's a beautiful and heartbreaking video.
Bibi helped save Ren's life by setting up the fundraiser that helped him get his Lyme diagnosis, when she was his girlfriend. This is such an incredible legacy to their connection.
Did they ever say why they broke up?
@@Bethany0420I don't think so, but I wouldn't expect them to say, really. They were very young and dealing with stuff that was very hard.
This is one of my favorites! Both the song and the video are absolutely stunning. And it was before he knew he had Lyme Disease, so he didn’t know whether his health and his mind would continue to deteriorate 😿 I think the only reason I can watch it is because his health has improved. It’s powerful!
Ren said this was about his fear.. that no one would stay with him (or could love him) if he lost his mind. He shows the struggle she went through to keep him going, to get him on his feet. When I first watched I wondered if she was even real. If she was a delusion he was using as a crutch and he was afraid if he got better she'd be gone. Either way she got him on his feet - she was his crutch to get him up. What I find amazing is he wrote this before his "correct" diagnosis and near the worst of his illness. That he was writing like this, creating this idea when he was so ill is unbelievable. I'm not sure when they actually filmed in relation to his diagnosis.
You have made a really valid point - that he could write and perform this at the height of his illness when the situation seemed hopeless .
If i recall correctly, Ren said that "Crutch" is one of his own personal favorites. It is a very beautiful and sad song, the video is amazing as well.
I think it shows the gap between the romantic idea of staying with someone and being their support mechanism through a terrible breakdown, and the harsh reality. Really enjoyed your reaction.
Ren writes explanations sometimes in the comments under videos. In this one he thanks all the people who care for others so I think he means another person as a crutch to help you through hard times.
I can only watch this one if I really want someone’s opinion on part of it because it breaks me every time. Thanks for covering it! 💜
Yes, I recently ordered the album, Freckled Angels. It's a fantastic album but yesterday I had to skip this song. Sometimes Ren's pain is overwhelming.
Read Sammy D's.. Bibi was his crutch and I'm sure it became impossible because Ren was so sick. Bless Ren, for allowing us to see how bad it was, truly heartbreaking, he was nothing but skin and bones. Food was any enemy to his body.
I can't get thru this song without tearing up... So beautiful and haunting.
As a photographer who shoots mostly high contrast portraits (and someone who teaches photography) this has always been my fave video of Rens for the artistry of the lighting and framing.
This song is so painful and heart-rending.
I have multiple mental issues, including depression and anxiety. I got it all under control. Was doing so well. I was off my meds (in a good way lol) using CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy...I was told that it stood for something else also and from the grin on their face-I ain't Googling it lol. But I figured I'd clarify 😂).
I had also gotten my various anxieties in hand. I had friends, an actual social life, and I met the love of my life. I had a fantastic job with amazing pay, benefits, pension plan, 401k. I'd worked there for SEVENTEEN years!
6 months after my bf and I started dating and he'd moved in (little fast but there were reasons), I fell in my butt in the snow. Didn't even bruise. The next day I could barely move. I brushed it off, but over the next few months it kept getting worse. I had to keep taking time off from work. Burned through my vacation and fmla in months.
Finally, I went to my doctor. So many tests later and so much pain all the time, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia(recently they've discovered it's side-by-side with another autoimmunity condition so....yay.). As a diagnosis of exclusion, there's a lot of skepticism about it. Ppl who tell you that you are faking it so you don't have to work, etc. Funny thing about fibro. It doesn't care what ppl think. It just hurts. Every injury (and there were lots. There's a reason momma never named me Grace lol), every arthritic joint, every bump or bruise from the past came to haunt me. If I bumped into the table, it felt like someone had hit it with a homerun swing with an oak bat. Nothing helped, nerve meds, antidepressants, antiinflammatories. Spinal shots, trigger point and facet point injections. Finally, they just put me on hydrocodone and I've been maintaining with that. I'm also on the other stuff too. The combo of zoloft, Norco, klonopin, ibuprofen 800, Lyrica, and a muscle relaxer seems to help enough that I can function. Some of the stuff is for the major depression disorder, epic panic attacks and (yay.) agoraphobia. Because all of my carefully constructed mechanisms to handle my stuff had just crumbled.
Anyway, sorry for the novella, but all this time (and even now) I'm terrified that my bf will wake up and see that he didn't sign up for this mess and leave.
He's my crutch, I guess. He keeps me from giving up.
I've been worrying for almost 10 years now. I think we might be OK lol. I still get so scared.
I just wanted to put this out there. I know no one asked lol and I always overshare, but it was a big feeling and I needed to get it out. Hugs and be blessed 💜
I hear you, I can see how hard it has been. I wish you more good days for your future. ❤
If he's anything like me with my spouse who also goes through a lot, he just loves you. All of that is a part of what makes you you.
Where others might see weakness, I see strength. Not giving up, moving forward even in pain and distress. In sickness and in health.
Thank you for sharing what you are going through. Hang in there!
You guys made me cry, lol.
Julie, thank you for sharing about your spouse. I know he loves me; I just really can't figure out why, lol.
I just wish I could make it easier for him.
Thank you both for commenting.
Can I ask why you waited so long to go to the doctors? To burn through all vacation and sick time before finally going?
@bethanymichelle3261 cuz I'm stubborn, and i honestly thought I'd just wrenched my back.
I kept putting it off and thinking I was being a baby over something stupid. I was afraid the doc would look at me like I was stupid and tell me that it's _just_ a wrenched muscle and what did I expect them to do!
Never said I was bright lol
That’s not a heat lamp he filmed this in a park… that’s the lighting in a public park
0:37 us Renegades knowing what's coming up... 😅
I love hearing your perspective on it, it is a beautifully shot video. As far as the message, I think it can be interpreted several ways, I also get that even if you have a partner who is more than willing to support you at the start, if they haven't experienced mental health issues before it may get to a point where they can't deal with it and leave. It's very sad, but happens. Great reaction ❤
Did happen. Bibi left him or the separated at least.
Finally! To hear someone see and talk about the amazing use of light is phenomenal. As a graphic designer noticing those gradients and the detail they highlighted was a treat.
I took the meaning of the song as Bibi being his crutch. She was his girlfriend back then. I like your take on it too.
As other people have said, the song is about fear of abandonment, but it also addresses other fears Ren had at the time: the skinscapes were a way of Ren dealing with body dysmorphia due to the weightloss he'd experienced with his illness.
The change to blue/white lights in the second part of the video also do a great job to enhance the fear and confusion, and exclusion, he experienced during that time.
It's a masterful video and one of the most gut-wrenching songs in his catalog.
I am happy to see you dive deep into Ren's early music. I love this song, even though it, too, is sad. Hauntingly beautiful, though. This song was released in May 2016, but I believe Ren wrote this much earlier when he was still misdiagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and mental health issues. I read somewhere that the girl in the video is his then-girlfriend, Bibi. She started a GoFundMe campaign that allowed Ren to go to Belgium to finally get diagnosed with Lyme Disease. Ren explained that it was freezing cold that night, and he thought he was going into hypothermia during the filming. Here is an excerpt of what Ren wrote about this song:
“The song came about after a nervous breakdown following lots of visits to [the] emergency room after some scary health problems. It's a song for anybody who has faced any kind of mental challenges, depression, anxiety, or health struggles while in a relationship and all the fears that come along for the ride with that. It is also a song for the courageous and wonderful people who support their other halves, family or friends during times of crisis.”
Cinematography on this one is raw!! It perfectly encapsulates Ren's physical and mental health at the time.
I'd really like your take on 'Penitence' by Ren ft Molly McKinna
When i first saw this i thought it was a grest art peace.
The Crutch was their relationship.
The pills were his medication, not illicit drugs...
Good reaction... one can see it's your passion...
This one breaks my heart every time. Great reaction!
COMMENT GANG!
The song was amazing and your reaction was so heartfelt. I loved it. Peace and love ❤
I know others have said it, but Ren was in such a bad place. He was so skinny and felt he was dying. Bibi was his girlfriend at the time and hoped she'd stick around through the very tough times. Not sure how they split up, so I won't presume anything. Beautiful song 🎵 beautiful reaction.
thank you for reacting to this one and supporting Ren ❤❤❤
This song has always hit me so hard, with it's content and with it's beauty, but your reaction and breakdown gave me a totally new appreciation of the video. Thank you!
I have no particular knowledge about filming and how to set up etc - but I can tell when something is beautiful, This video is incredibly beautiful. I even think if you cut out the music and the song, the video alone would tell the story. The piano and the words are strong on their own, but I think the video could easily stand alone and still deliver a strong message.
Thanks for another great reaction video Joe
She was his crutch. Literally trying to hold him up. Till the end when he was standing on his own... and she was gone.
This is so heartbreaking and beautiful at the same time. Such a simple but stunning video to boot 🖤
Well, this may be my favourite reaction of yours to Ren! You had so many great insights to the cinematography, and were so reverential of the artistic choices that Tom/Ren made, AND were so taken by the song & its messages.
I mean, it was pretty much obvious that you would be all of those things for this song, but it was really beautiful to watch it play out for you. And me not being any kind of film expert at all, I know when I see something I like or that evokes certain reactions from me but I don't know anything about whether it would be considered well-done by others in those professions, so I was super interested to hear your videographer's POV.
Children of the Moon by Ren. You will love the videography. Apologies if this has shown twice, my previous comment vanished in to the ether
Love Children of the Moon 🔥❤️
Absolutely beautiful video. With or without budget, this is perfect.
Doesn't hurt that the song is amazing.
He did “lose his mind” and she didn’t stay with him.
As a cancer survivor, I’ve heard so many stories about husbands leaving wives while their wives are going through treatment.
That shit happens. And Ren knows it. He lived it…
Love you! Thanks for your channel! ❤
I couldn’t wait for ur reaction to this because of ur professional background in videography!
❤❤❤
This one hits hard for me. I get what he is feeling. When I got sick and wasn't sure what would happen I needed someone to be strong .
One of my favorite Ren songs.
Sweet Little Lady (live) - by The Big Push would be a great one for you to react to also
So glad you did this one it's beautifully done and so vulnerable that's what we love about Ren 😍 thanks for your passionate reaction 😊
I love your reactions to Ren your so passionate ❤
I've been begging for you and black pegasus to do this song now you gotta take this in front of black P❤
This song crushes me every.single.time… 😢 I’m having severe anxiety these days because of some shit going on in my life and I have a list of songs I listen to when I need a good cry to release some tension and this song is on the list.
love to see the different perspective that you bring to Ren's videos - the camera work is amazing and brings out the emotion of the song
Somewhere I read where Ren said this is at the peak of his illness and he was severely underweight, thus making it hard to stay warm.
I think this is visually and lyrically one of RENs greatest tracks. And most reactors sleep on it!
The crutch was her he lost her. Difficult to live with his illness. They were together and did break up. This is so well done.
Told ya you'd love this one bro! My favourite Ren song! Great reaction and breakdown brother 👌🤙🤌🔥❤️
Ren wrote the words of course! Loved seeing the appreciation of this cinematic masterpiece!
Loving your reactions to these videos. Your insights from the videography side is really enlightening.
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ OMG OMG OMG THIS IS MY FAVORITE SOOOOOOOOO GLAD YOU DID THIS... At work so have to waiti and watch it in a bit but had to come in here and say Thank you.... and I'm so excited to see your thoughts!!!!!!!!!
Def. One of my favorites xo
When that sort of hollow distant bass comes in right before Bibi starts singing, immediately brought back flashes of early Prince.
Loving your insights and advice.
Big ups from Humboldt County.
Love your unique technical perspective, as always. Fascinating and helped me get through this song focused on something other than the painful emotional aspect.
Bibi said while singing "I could be your crutch"...so I'm assuming she was the crutch he was talking about. He sings "everything I touch turns to dust", so his crutch was there and then she wasn't. Must of been something he touched (loved and cared about) turned to dust and was gone.
I am so excited that you reacted to this one. I knew you would love the videography in it. 😊. I won’t explain the song, as so many other have done so. Again, I love your excitement when explaining how things are done, and your true appreciating for the art of others. 😊
As an amateur photographer I certainly do appreciate the imagery in this video - I really appreciate your knowledge input to the intricacies of the detail.
I have been waiting for you to see this painfully beautiful track and video. Its Stunning.
Beautiful song, beautiful video ❤
Oh no that intro. When you’re saying you’re not sure you’re ready for both an emotional song and interesting videography 😅 Sorry Joe, but that is exactly what you got 😂
Crutch is one of my absolute favourite Ren songs. It is a stunning and raw portrayal of agony and fear in every little detail. The lyrics, the singing, the music, and even the video. And never has distortion sounded so emotional! Heart wrenching but beautiful song.
I love your explanations on the lighting and shots, but also how the emotional roller-coaster plays out on your face and movements.
I feel like she is his crutch as he is going through things, but he is so worried she wont be there....and then at the end, she isnt. so in reality did he wait too late and the whole thing was imagined after she was gone, perhaps she wanted to be his crutch and he didnt let her because of being scared..
I think Bibi was the crutch. Try Ren in Children of the Moon. Fun and shot like an old horror movie
Yes, please!!!!
This song and video never fails to make me sob
She was his crutch...🥺
I jumped in as soon as I saw the thumbnail!! I KNEW you’d love both the cinematography and the song!! Looove learning from your videographer point of view.
Never seen this before, loving the detail Ty 🙏👍🐊❤️🦉
Hey Joe E, two 'E's' no 'Y'. In my opinion, this song could be on a big budget movie soundtrack. It's amazing !!
Loved your reaction!!!! It's given even more depth to this for me.💟
It's definitely both things.
I swear Ren is fearless.
If you listen to the song she says she will be his crutch
Really love and appreciate your thorough reaction on this. I love it when reactors really appreciate and understand the art work in this video and how much skill was involved.
I love this song. Like really love it. It’s so fucking sad and it makes me cry everytime.
I have learnt so much about the art of videography through your knowledge and passion. Thank you.
This song is heartfelt to me
This video is gorgeous and heart wrenching. It gets me deep in my core every time.
I interpret it as in the soft yellow lighting I see Ren dealing with the PAIN of the ailment he was dealing with . When electric guitar came in it was the mind he was loosing and the drugs he was taking along with the withdrawl from the drugs. Bibi was a friend that was trying to help with it but Ren could not let himself drag her down with him !! heartbreaking !
Co-depedency was my guess at Crutch. One of my fave Rens.
Hi Joe E, this is the second time I have seen Rens song. The first time, I saw/heard this song, someone was doing drugs and was in a bad way. Bibi was there for him. Then I heard Rens story. I loved your videography perspective, I saw/heard beauty, fear, and hope...What's that saying "pictures paint a thousand words" Qdos to Ren and co. Just beautiful...Peace🙏☝️🎇☝️🖼😌
The moment you said (paraphrasing) "Don't give me emotional AND videography!" I "ope"-d because you know....this whole video...
Hey Joe E ( 2 e's no y), loving your emotive and insightful reactions, particularly from a videographers point of view. Something that seems so simple has been crafted with such care and depth 🔥
I love your reactions. So glad I happened upon them.
Glad you got to this one Joe E💕👍🦇
Glad you finally got around to this one I knew you'd love it. Great reaction as always.
I loved hearing your perspective on this one, I love your passion. This is one Ren video I’ve only seen twice, it’s too rough for me but I knew your input oils be fabulous.
Another amazing reaction, brother...keep these Ren joints coming
I've been waiting for you to get to this one. It's right up your alley 😉😊
Please Just keep on exploring and appreciating with your open heart and and trained eye. I don't do anti-social media,but can't deny it's a pleasure to experience 'stuff' along with you. From da UK ...Blessings 🇬🇧👍✨
I love your reactions to the videography.
Fantastic job Joe and great reaction! See you next reaction sir!
Joe,I have waited so much for you to react to this one,thank you ❤
As I promised I've come over and subbed, now I'm gonna watch your review. 🇬🇧👍
Bibi was his crutch
Subscribed ❤ Wonderful heartfelt reaction and I learned 😊
Loved it as always Joe! I knew the music was amazing in this one but I couldn't wait to see your pov about the lights and gradients and all that 😃
Brilliant reaction to a brilliant track and video, it's a heavy duty set of lyrics...having already listened to this song a bunch of times, quite often it strikes me that it wouldn't be out of place on Pink Floyd's "The Wall" album, it carries the same vibe/feeling/delivery as some of the stuff on there too.
Awesome reaction once again bro,
Take care
Daz
Dope reaction as always mate. Masterpiece for all the things you said. Love hearing your POV. Keep up the great work.
Dude I love this reaction so much I am a photographer so all of this is sooo in my wheelhouse!!!
I’m pretty sure that he didn’t have a lot of acting to do I believe he was still pretty sick when this was shot if I’m not Mistaken
stroked the like button really hard this time.
She was his crutch
Hi thanks a great review I always thought, Bibi was the crutch...but the pills might be...my fav vid though very clever....💐💐💐👍
This one hits me hard every time - Its been a while since I've watched it. I'll see how I go this time around 😬