When my husband started playing this game I knew the relationship was over. Jealousy is a wasted emotion anyone trying to exploit your feelings is truly evil. When this begins you need to exit stage left asap! At this point they are trying to set you up as the fall guy. To play with someone's emotions that you are supposed to love is truly dispicable.
I was told I had control, trust and anger issues 😣 because I asked him about going to a friend’s house with a bunch of women. He sent me a picture of the “girls” in the pool. Because this was a totally new behavior (to me) I asked him who these women were and why he was there (we lived 2 hours apart). Because I asked, I had issues. Two days later he ended our (first) engagement and THEN I found out he was going to his “friend’s” (girl) house daily. I think he set me up to give himself a reason to end the relationship so he could continue with this new girl (supply). 😢 6 months later he started love bombing me to get me back. I didn’t know about narcissism at the time and I fell for it. 😣 He said he had “changed,” but 7 months later there was another new supply. 💔Now I understand what was happening!
He’d walk off & flirt, in a serious manner, with another woman while on a date with me. Then tell me he was just a social butterfly & I was seeing things & that I was jealous. He seemed amused by this & treated me like I was a silly child for being upset.
I am trapped now in control of Malignant Narcissist. Just a week ago found what the HELL in going on?! I am suffering and crying, shamed and blamed meanwhile saying Love you. That is the 2nd year together. Now he withdraw sex for 3 month, just learned this is domination, power & punishment. He for a week provokes my jealousy (I new this is coming) and I was trapped today, saying WHY ARE YOU REACTING THIS WAY? Even if I was not! And now I understand he is an EVIL with NO soul, NO heart, with DAMAGED brain, who likes to see me suffer so much. I don’t know how to leave as he is really violent, at this stage he is not physically violent to me, but he physically hurt other people but is Hero at work with police, hero in town and I see he can hurt me. There is obvious mental abuse now, which I wish I can proof but…..
A narc i was seeing for a short time tried to make me feel jealous of his young female cousin (his step-dad’s niece.. so they aren’t blood related.) he would invite me over, then drop things like “my cousin is turning into a beautiful woman” or he would show me photos of her and whisper “she’s so pretty” and “when she stays with us we’re both up late and i try to get her to watch movies with me in my room” when the only place to sit in his bedroom was his bed. What an effing creep!!!!! He would give me these side-eye glances to check my reaction to him saying these things too, like he wanted to make sure i was picking up on the hint. I have no clue why he thought it would make him more desirable to me by hinting that he thought his cousin was hot. What a redneck weirdo. Blocked and deleted.
They even take the side of someone they haven’t met! I had a narc boss that I was telling him a story about how I almost hit someone with my car cause they were J-walking (street sign and everything said no crossing). My narc boss immediately said “no, they had the right of way”. I was like “no…..the cross walk had the no crossing sign” And my bald ugly boss just walked away.
This is how my ex narc husband acted. He always has a new female friend from the past popping up out of nowhere that he wanted to hang out with alone and he would go out with his best clothes on and he sprayed too much cologne. When I asked simple questions like who is the girl he said I was insecure, jealous, had trust issues, and wanted to control his life. He had a female best friend that he cared about more than me and always compared her to me like she was perfect.
I have never been a jealous person, but my husband often felt envious of me. One day, he admitted that he wished he could be as positive and content with life as I was. I’ve always been well-liked, and I am remembered. This bothered him, and he seemed uncomfortable introducing me to his friends. Over time, I got the impression that he portrayed me in a negative light to his colleagues. That’s when I began distancing myself from him when he was around the people he worked with. Have a great day or evening. Take care and be safe wherever you are......🍀🍀
It's psychological cruelty. My ex narc tried to make me feel jealous of his ex to distract me from the fact that he was already dating the supply he would discard me for. He said he'd be spending the morning with her and treat her to lunch, which he rarely did with me. Turns out I happened to see his ex at lunchtime, she was wearing black, having taken the morning off to go to a friend's funeral. If someone who says "I love you" blatantly lies like this with the intent to manipulate you, I can’t imagine what your worst enemy would do.
My ex always tried to use his children’s moms to make me jealous. He once told me that his ex wife said she could take better care of him. I confronted her and she swore she never said that. I recently found out that my ex had called this same woman asking for sex. When she declined, he told her that his son’s mom was going to. He always told me that his exes were crazy, but I can see it’s him!
I'm so glad I saw this. It hit home with a big "ah ha". This is exactly how I was treated. Somebody gets it. Too bad folks around me don't understand. He's so charming.
Your example shows a perfect example of the ‘double binds’ which narcissists are famous for creating, in order to manufacture a lose/lose situation for the target. If you are jealous of them meeting the ex…they use your jealousy against you (as an excuse to cheat)…because you are too clingy and insecure. If you are not jealous, they use that against you too (as an excuse to cheat) because…you didn’t even care, so…why not cheat?! They do this with everything. And once you see it, you can’t unsee it. Double binds…give them complete control over every, single situation - from finances…to domestic chores…to co-parenting…to who you can be friends with…to how you spend your time…to how you dress…it never ends. Watch out for the double bind game. 🚩
A woman called me and left me a voicemail tell me that She was Now hes a girlfriend And he was a Social path circle pand to ask me to tell him to leave her alone. I don't even know who this person is but she sounded scared and I have the voicemail I was scared for her. He blamed me For her sending me the voicemail lol sick twisted manipulative deceitful denying Degrading Twisted freakshow that he is
I did not see him for over a year and 1st encounter that I had with him sitting at his kitchen tabhe He slid his phone across the table To show me a picture of the last bimbo he was with because she was younger lol I really wanted to throw that phone off of his freaking head but I didn't and instead I just lit it back and laughed at him
I experienced this and decided to make him jealous by telling him about a guy at work who was interested in me. Worked for a while & I grew tired of creating lies for him to be jealous of. I understand that no matter how or what you try he will keep doing whatever he is going to do. Cut him loose!
I did that too, tell my Narc about other blokes that liked me, I then thought, hang on, I’m an adult, if I have to do that what sort of relationship is this. Lots of other crazy making stuff too. I’m outta here. Planning my divorce.
An other thing - no one understands you bcs the narc is so charming with others , but this tactiek is also killing two birds with 1 stone - to charm them while hurting you bcs he/she is never nice to you after they got you. The relationship now is ment only to use you and abuse you - that hurts a lot bcs you are a good person.
I identified with the Jealousy bit. Whenever we went out he'd end up staring at some other woman or something then when he saw I was uncomfortable about it he'd accuse me of being jealous. I was made to feel uncomfortable because of the times he would threaten to go and see an Ex or someone else because I didn't call or text or fulfill the plans he wanted to do. This made me insecure. 🍒
Whenever me and my ex Narc went out somewhere like the store,movies, restaurants or even just walking down the street she would constantly if not EVERYTIME point out if a guy was checking her or flirting with her while I was with her (even if i was talking to her on the phone) SMH .... One phrase she would say to me was "I wish I was ugly because all these guys want me, I can't even walk down the street without a guy trying to talk to me, YOURE SO LUCKY I CHOSE" 🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 I would say "yea I do feel special but i hope you know those guys just wanna have sex with you because of your looks and I actually LOVE you because of your personality (the fake mask)and not because of how you look"
I always knew there was something wrong with him,but he Made me feel crazy for noticing and calling him out about the weird things he did,i AM thankful for Your videos and other people who talk about this,i always knew i was not crazy ,but now i have proof ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
They also use hypocrisy as a tool. They should be free to do whatever the heck they want and call you jealous and controlling. But an innocent encounter with the opposite sex they don't know about is cheating and must be punished.
She said I brought her nothing but jealousy and drama in the end( I’ve never been a jealous person and I tried my whole life to stay as far away from drama as possible) the stuff I’m learning about my x-toxic- narc now is mind boggling. I’m so glad it’s over I couldn’t do another 5 years w that azzzzzzz
This video, more than anything else I have seen over the last ten years nailed it for me. My life has been hell the last sixteen years alternately trying to break the trauma bonding and trying to believe my partner was actually trying to change. I’ve left him more times than I can remember only to have him reel me back in by telling me he was seeing a counsellor because he was so depressed that I left him. It was my Achilles heel and he knew it. For fifteen years my partner played me against his three adult daughters and his ex. Weekly. I would never know if I would get to see him on any given weekend because he’d have to see at least one of them. The long weekends it was usually all three. I noticed his daughters never called when we broke up. One time we got back together and I told him don’t let them know we’re back together and it was the best three weeks (other than covid lockdown) that we had, till they found out. They were being manipulated just like I was. I always suspected that every time he stood me up for them he got brownie points and they loved him more (which he needed). He kept proving to them he loved them more and they were happy. This constant need they had for proof he loved them might have resulted from being abandoned by their mom. She only wanted my partner back once she heard about me. She spent a good ten years trying to get him back, and letting me know “he loved her more” and she was winning. She didn’t really want him back she just wanted to drive me away. She was a nasty piece of work. I look back and wonder why I stayed but I understand now that it was the competition for his love than bound me. 😢 Thank you so much for this and all your videos. Many have spoken to me but this freed me. ❤
Had been wondering this for a while now and it's so hard to find a video that talks on triangulation to actually induce jealousy and insecurity when you were not like that as much before. A lot of videos mainly talk on triangulation with arguments with people (which happens too) but I was searching for information on this to help understand how this was being induced .. so thank you for this!
He told me he wants to spend a night a a friend's house that's a girl. So he can fix her house. When iv been waiting 5 yrs fir him to fix are own house. Its like helped that and was acting like I should not be up set. He told me I am jealous
That's crazy. I am sorry to hear that. I'm here to support you on your healing journey. If you need assistance, please schedule a one-on-one session with me at rawmotivations.com/one-on-ones.
So I was visiting my girlfriend in Canada was throwing a New Year’s Eve party. We are so happy in our relationship at this point. It’s been at least three years. I’m having a great time at the party. I go step outside just to see her best friend showing up to the party with her ex-boyfriend, I was so confused and everyone made me feel like I was insecure. Why in the world would your best friend bring your ex-boyfriend to your party knowing that your new boyfriend is in town visiting. She took absolutely no accountability and made me feel like I was the problem. Now every time we argue her ex pops up in the argument for absolutely no reason, deep down side I felt like I was being manipulated
Yep. When I was postpartum mine did this to me. Shut me out of his “exciting life.” Became friends with all these women online. Would tease that he had access to models and other beautiful women- but he is choosing me for some reason. Complete emotional annihilation. 3 years later and divorcing, I’m still working on regaining myself worth.
I’m not a jealous person..I’m secure in myself and choose to believe a person is with me because they want to be..if they aren’t and/orattempt to bring others into the relationship or try to make me jealous..I don’t take the bait.It’s childish.That annoyed him so much he said “I don’t exist around you.” That was a very revealing statement and another ‘oddity’ that helped me understand he was disordered.
I didn’t take the bait, either, and it resulted in him one day without warning discarding me for someone else he was head over heels for. They lasted about a month but at the beginning of the relationship with this chick no one had ever heard of, a mutual friend of ours asked him, “what about Lisa?”…to which he answered “Lisa doesn’t ask questions. She’ll be fine.”. I didn’t ask questions because I saw what he was doing but I didn’t realize how serious it was. I thought he was just needing more validation and confirmation of my commitment, not that he was already farming those things from multiple sources.
Jealousy is dangerous with the wrong people it can lead to someone being killed or murdered it's a dangerous game to play. Some will not show jealousy just cut your throat one day. Rather keep the peace and take care of one another in friendship or in romance. There was a teenager killing her best friend all in the name of jealousy. I prefer to rise above that. It's not worth it be careful emotions run deep sometimes might not show it yet it does. I would say each stay with their boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse and just make friends with the other person have fun times together and don't stir the pot that is not needed it's looking for death. Rather be friends and include one another in this way we create beautiful friendships and also no one feels left out or threatened.
Sad he did this at my job flirted with a narcissist coworker who had a lot of plastic surgery and she was jelous he gave me attention when she just Met him lied and got me fired. Idk why he would start drama at my job and I never tried to see him again
The best way to handle the situation is be kind include everyone ( I am talking about friendships) I do show affection to those I care for send or give sweet hugs or do something both of us like each stay with their own boyfriend, husband, girlfriend or wife having that close friendship bond with him and her . When I love someone they will know it and I will video call anytime always have time for my special people. Can have your own unique thing you share as well it's beautiful. Leave the jealousy games.
Really had no idea! So completely true of my recent ex. He would constantly make comments of how he wanted to be w his girlfriends and comments abput their nipples and then say I was insecure and constricting their relationship. The whole thing was nuts-he d start fights about nothing I could follow. Ended up blocking him. Can't go back
Yes, I agree with this! I have a married daughter who spoke flatteringly about her mother-in-law while treating me disrespectfully. She said to me once that her mother-in-law was a classy person, as though I was not. She always boasts about her plans and her husband's family while ignoring me when I am around. She has done many things like this nearly every time we speak. She seems to think boasting is good when I see it as manipulative. Sharing something we are happy about is far different from bragging to make others feel inferior. If she had been respectful and kind on a regular basis I might not have come to this conclusion but because she is rude to me it is clear what she is doing. I realized that jealous feelings come because of the disrespect shown me. If she were sharing without disrespect I would not be jealous. I do believe this form of manufactured jealousy is not in our character, it is just a feeling they foster when around them. I don't feel insecure just astonished that this behavior ruins the relationship.
It hurts so much, that this person that I loved is so sick. Let's just breathe out for a moment, all together, all the healed ones, but just for a moment how sad it actually is, that there are people in this life on this earth in such a condition. Just imagine there is no reincarnation or after life ... What a waste the life of such a mean person actually is, just being on earth hurting people, making them jealous, manipulating them. Whilst one could just be happy and be loved and cuddled in the warmth of the love of a goddess like the woman that loves you. It is just so sad.
He blew on other womens cleaveage and ignored me. When I tried to talk to him about it. I got blasted with verbal abuse YOU ARE THE MOST JEALOUS WOMEN I E EVER KNOWN
My father is highly narcissistic and he would play these jealousy games among my family members. He treated me as the golden child/favourite one and that would make my mother insecure about herself. He would tease her constantly about how much more he loved me, than he loved her. He would abuse her, while love bombing me. She was never able to bond with me because of it and resented me my whole life. She eventually became my abuser in that process. He would do the same thing to my older brother and this would make him feel worthless. I have never been able to have a healthy relationship with my brother either unfortunately. I have gone completely no contact this year after my daughter was targeted by my parents abuse. It’s been very difficult to understand what we’ve been through since narc abuse is very insidious and confusing af. I wouldn’t wish this upon anyone tbh.
I had the ' Thank you for not adding me to Facebook '.Yep. So I wouldn't if I was thinking about it. He went to retrieve tools from an exes place, and said ' She hasn't aged well. I'm glad that she didn't try anything, as she can be a bit funny at times'. Meeting ' chums', going off for walks with female ' friends'and that seemed to be more of a priority than spending time with me. Had a friend stay in his bed ...yeah right. He used his female friends to get a reaction out of me by telling me that he had a list of friends as long as arm that wanted to go canoeing with him. Even if they did - tough shit. I was his girlfriend..or were they also? I suspect it was totally him.that would have been inviting women to go with him. I was way too tolerant!!!
I am facing exactly this, I was already jealous in previous relationship, but now it's much worse, I got paranoic, even with phone sounds, lost my self esteem, my believe in myself, I was always trying to get more attractive after a triangulation, always trying to improve more things on me. But until another day I was not noticing this, was blind, until he tried to triangulate with the neighbor, a lady that was always kind to me (actually she talks much more with me), but because she asked fo the tools to fix a monitor boom he went there another day to get a package dressed up like going for a date, and only at this time I realized, also because started to watch about narcissism. Now my current state is to analyze things from a more consciences perspective, and I'm glad to have people making videos like you are doing, these videos become our safe harbor, a place where we can realize that we are not crazy or paranoic with the mental games. Thank you so much ❤❤❤
I have NEVER been a jealous person but during the relationship with my ex that I worked with, she would constantly tell me every time my manager would flirt with her and what he would say/do.... she would then say how weird he was and whatever .... it became to the point where I started getting jealous/mad because me being a man I know if I flirt with a girl and could tell if she's interested or not .... I thought she was telling me beause she was being Truthful and cared about me , i know now it was just her triangulation tactic to gain supply.... Anyway i asked her " why he is he so comfortable to flirting with you everyday, he must think you're flirting back" she reassured me that she wasn't but I ignored that red flag 🚩🚩 Long story short she discarded Nov 1st and was dating him 3days after discard (maybe even before) they are now together SMH
What if they are jealous for no reason and constantly accusing you of things you never done just to control who you can talk to and who you can not? I don't even know anymore if I'm the narcissist or if they are narcissistic, narcissist will accuse you of being narcissistic and gaslighting them 😮
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my ex narc friend mocked me for seriously struggling in life by telling people that her family thinks that I'm jealous of her having better life now and I don't. It was very disturbing to see how far she would go to try get a reaction out of me
I don't like the word Jealousy. I felt a huge fear of loss and my covert Narc ex knew I struggled with childhood trauma due to my narcissistic parents, but mainly my covert Narc mother. He triggered it with triangulation by staring at mostly very young women, checking up profiles of sexy women and watching porn. I blamed myself, tried harder, tried to be understanding to the point of wanting to die. He said he did it because I didn't love him "enough".
He had a female best friend. He told me that he didn’t tell her that we made a commitment because he thought she had feelings for him and he would lose her friendship. I ended up supporting their friendship and saying she should know and she’ll stay friends with you. They were “best friends” yet we never hung out with her after many attempts of me telling him to make plans with her. When issues with other women would arise he would always bring her up. We ended up fighting about her on multiple occasions, most of the time he would bring her into the argument. After breaking up and him hoovering me back in, I found out that they had slept together months before we started dating. I had asked many times and he lied every time. He had another friend living far away. He went to there for work and made plans to have supper with her. I had no problem with it but he talked to me and treated me as if I did. Demanding that i have no issue with it, that they had changed plans to have supper at her place. That she was married and there was nothing to worry about. After the supper he talked about how her husband was worried. Making me feel that married isn’t a good reason to trust. After he came back home he told me that they sleep with other people sometimes. That she talked about sex a lot. Talked about having sex with other woman. I had set boundaries previous to this on what I am uncomfortable with on topics of conversation with the opposite sex. And this went against my boundaries. He would consistently bring up other women and things he knew I would make me uncomfortable
Thanks for sharing, it sounds like you've been through a challenging situation. Trusting your instincts and setting boundaries is important for your well-being. Remember, you deserve a healthy and respectful relationship where your feelings and boundaries are respected. Stay strong and prioritize your own happiness. 🌟
My narcissistic ex used to create jealousy very subtly. He would use his intermittent re-enforcement between me & my children. Very, very destructive! I would be completely excluded from family events and important occasions.
Yes, my ex-narc fwb put me in that position, accused me of being jealous. I insulted him with it. I told him to get over himself and that there are no women knocking down his door.... literally none!
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I worked with a Narc years ago that I believe was trying to triangulate me with his fiancé. One instance, he and his fiancé and I were all at a business party and I was standing near stairs on a porch deck. And as the narc and his fiancé walked down the stairs he reached over and touched me on my lower back… for no reason. I wasnt in his way and he didn’t need me to move. Im sure he was doing this to make her jealous and of course with his constant need for attention he just wanted MY attention to be on him.
The first example sounds exactly like her and I and I'm scared to see the rest of the video, I'm so sad. I called her out awhile ago, after that she added gaslighting in manipulative into her arsenal of things to call me during arguments. After I said she does everything narcissist does to the t and gave examples obviously she didn't like that but we made up like the hundred other times and then I convinced myself that maybe it was a attachment style falling on the dismissive side but now I think I was right all along
Oh yes, they trigger you, once he sent me a receipt for a cake I was looking to cook, that was written by a woman and at the end it was written: eat with someone special😂. But most of the time he just gave compliments to all other women, even the most insignificant, exept me and I was all dress up…Now I laugh
My husband cheats,meaning he cheats me and our kids out of his attention and time,unless it is convenient for him, with anybody who is available ,Friends,family,neighbors,exes,everybody is more important than me and our kids,he loves to triangulate
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I went thru this on a horrible scale... She expected me to be okay with her hanging out with her former FWB of 10 years off and on... I was like what??? And than she was hanging out every thursday with a guy she used to date and lied and said they never did anything sexual.... 6 months into the relationship she tells me she gave him oral sex... I was floored... Than eventually told me she was going to spend xmas with him for 2 weeks at Hawaii... Bc thats where hes moving to... I was shocked
ALL of our fights was bcuz of another women ALL .. and I’ve nvr been like this in my life EVERYONE was better then me .. better looking then me … better everything… he hated my insecurities that he put there ..and he didn’t care who it was or what it was he would do a traffic cone if he could
He has cheated on me with people in his own department and I found that out by finding pictures of different women on the bottom of his basket While looking for sheets to make the bed. He has told me to take cyanide In order to deal with my emotions. He always told me he will replace me. He would threaten to call the police on mean which were right down the street and he is cop soh obviously for years I never got any help from that department . The court is his stage and he knows it well. He has alienated me from my daughter several times by Treating her like a ping pong ball back-and-forth. He has told me women are only worth one thing and I totally believe him at this point. I was sexually assaulted and I mean viciously raped And he left me to go on a golf trip for a week And then he calls me to scold me for allowing our daughter to have a sleep over with wonderful friends the day after I was Raped and he blamed me
You guys don't understand they don't like you.thats why the games. They only play games with people they don't like. So you must leave with the games start
I’m 58 currently separated and in divorce process. I was married to my narcissistic husband for 40 years. I’m drawing a small pension but unable to afford housing alone so I moved back home with my parents not the greatest situation, but it gave me the space I needed. I don’t know what your situation is currently, but if you have questions I would be happy to talk.
Just leave. It will get worse and worse. Go NC if you can. Say goodbye and block, take it one day at a time, it will get easier. There's no reason to explain ANYTHING to them. They know what they did/are doing Just get away, protect yourself because they are damaging you, damaging your heart. It's an assault. They don't deserve your energy. Also, they will never give you closure or an explanation that makes any sense. I promise you that. NC is thr first step in healing
She said I brought her nothing but jealousy and drama in the end( I’ve never been a jealous person and I tried my whole life to stay as far away from drama as possible) the stuff I’m learning about my x-toxic- narc now is mind boggling. I’m so glad it’s over I couldn’t do another 5 years w that azzzzzzz
They create jealousy(toxic), and then shame you for being jealous.
That's exactly what he did🙏
When my husband started playing this game I knew the relationship was over. Jealousy is a wasted emotion anyone trying to exploit your feelings is truly evil. When this begins you need to exit stage left asap! At this point they are trying to set you up as the fall guy. To play with someone's emotions that you are supposed to love is truly dispicable.
Well said!
💥🎯
Very well said.
Thank u for sharing this I needed to hear this
Very well said. Any one trying to exploit your feelings is truly evil. I 100% agree with you. 😢
I was told I had control, trust and anger issues 😣 because I asked him about going to a friend’s house with a bunch of women. He sent me a picture of the “girls” in the pool. Because this was a totally new behavior (to me) I asked him who these women were and why he was there (we lived 2 hours apart). Because I asked, I had issues. Two days later he ended our (first) engagement and THEN I found out he was going to his “friend’s” (girl) house daily. I think he set me up to give himself a reason to end the relationship so he could continue with this new girl (supply). 😢 6 months later he started love bombing me to get me back. I didn’t know about narcissism at the time and I fell for it. 😣 He said he had “changed,” but 7 months later there was another new supply. 💔Now I understand what was happening!
Ouch. I hope your feeling better. All of us are not like him. Have a pleasant day.
He’d walk off & flirt, in a serious manner, with another woman while on a date with me. Then tell me he was just a social butterfly & I was seeing things & that I was jealous. He seemed amused by this & treated me like I was a silly child for being upset.
Same. Same thing happened to me. I went NC
I am trapped now in control of Malignant Narcissist. Just a week ago found what the HELL in going on?! I am suffering and crying, shamed and blamed meanwhile saying Love you. That is the 2nd year together. Now he withdraw sex for 3 month, just learned this is domination, power & punishment. He for a week provokes my jealousy (I new this is coming) and I was trapped today, saying WHY ARE YOU REACTING THIS WAY? Even if I was not! And now I understand he is an EVIL with NO soul, NO heart, with DAMAGED brain, who likes to see me suffer so much. I don’t know how to leave as he is really violent, at this stage he is not physically violent to me, but he physically hurt other people but is Hero at work with police, hero in town and I see he can hurt me. There is obvious mental abuse now, which I wish I can proof but…..
A narc i was seeing for a short time tried to make me feel jealous of his young female cousin (his step-dad’s niece.. so they aren’t blood related.) he would invite me over, then drop things like “my cousin is turning into a beautiful woman” or he would show me photos of her and whisper “she’s so pretty” and “when she stays with us we’re both up late and i try to get her to watch movies with me in my room” when the only place to sit in his bedroom was his bed. What an effing creep!!!!! He would give me these side-eye glances to check my reaction to him saying these things too, like he wanted to make sure i was picking up on the hint. I have no clue why he thought it would make him more desirable to me by hinting that he thought his cousin was hot. What a redneck weirdo. Blocked and deleted.
The narc always takes the side of someone else, not you ! That can be anyone, even someone you just met.
narcassist' s meeting's.
They even take the side of someone they haven’t met!
I had a narc boss that I was telling him a story about how I almost hit someone with my car cause they were J-walking (street sign and everything said no crossing).
My narc boss immediately said “no, they had the right of way”.
I was like “no…..the cross walk had the no crossing sign”
And my bald ugly boss just walked away.
100%
This is how my ex narc husband acted. He always has a new female friend from the past popping up out of nowhere that he wanted to hang out with alone and he would go out with his best clothes on and he sprayed too much cologne. When I asked simple questions like who is the girl he said I was insecure, jealous, had trust issues, and wanted to control his life. He had a female best friend that he cared about more than me and always compared her to me like she was perfect.
I have never been a jealous person, but my husband often felt envious of me. One day, he admitted that he wished he could be as positive and content with life as I was. I’ve always been well-liked, and I am remembered. This bothered him, and he seemed uncomfortable introducing me to his friends. Over time, I got the impression that he portrayed me in a negative light to his colleagues. That’s when I began distancing myself from him when he was around the people he worked with. Have a great day or evening. Take care and be safe wherever you are......🍀🍀
It's psychological cruelty. My ex narc tried to make me feel jealous of his ex to distract me from the fact that he was already dating the supply he would discard me for. He said he'd be spending the morning with her and treat her to lunch, which he rarely did with me. Turns out I happened to see his ex at lunchtime, she was wearing black, having taken the morning off to go to a friend's funeral. If someone who says "I love you" blatantly lies like this with the intent to manipulate you, I can’t imagine what your worst enemy would do.
OMG!!! This is pure evil, even scary!!!
My ex always tried to use his children’s moms to make me jealous. He once told me that his ex wife said she could take better care of him. I confronted her and she swore she never said that. I recently found out that my ex had called this same woman asking for sex. When she declined, he told her that his son’s mom was going to. He always told me that his exes were crazy, but I can see it’s him!
They’ll use their own kids too to triangulate.
Obviously he's a baby factory, not partner material.
I'm so glad I saw this. It hit home with a big "ah ha". This is exactly how I was treated. Somebody gets it. Too bad folks around me don't understand. He's so charming.
Opt out of the drama triangle. Don't react! Triangulation is really nasty.
Your example shows a perfect example of the ‘double binds’ which narcissists are famous for creating, in order to manufacture a lose/lose situation for the target. If you are jealous of them meeting the ex…they use your jealousy against you (as an excuse to cheat)…because you are too clingy and insecure. If you are not jealous, they use that against you too (as an excuse to cheat) because…you didn’t even care, so…why not cheat?! They do this with everything. And once you see it, you can’t unsee it. Double binds…give them complete control over every, single situation - from finances…to domestic chores…to co-parenting…to who you can be friends with…to how you spend your time…to how you dress…it never ends. Watch out for the double bind game. 🚩
💯 dead on
It’s designed to make them ‘unaccountable’ for everything and they wonder why they can’t connect? Never ending self sabotage.
Understood
A woman called me and left me a voicemail tell me that She was Now hes a girlfriend And he was a Social path circle pand to ask me to tell him to leave her alone. I don't even know who this person is but she sounded scared and I have the voicemail I was scared for her. He blamed me For her sending me the voicemail lol sick twisted manipulative deceitful denying Degrading Twisted freakshow that he is
I did not see him for over a year and 1st encounter that I had with him sitting at his kitchen tabhe He slid his phone across the table To show me a picture of the last bimbo he was with because she was younger lol I really wanted to throw that phone off of his freaking head but I didn't and instead I just lit it back and laughed at him
I experienced this and decided to make him jealous by telling him about a guy at work who was interested in me. Worked for a while & I grew tired of creating lies for him to be jealous of. I understand that no matter how or what you try he will keep doing whatever he is going to do. Cut him loose!
I did that too, tell my Narc about other blokes that liked me, I then thought, hang on, I’m an adult, if I have to do that what sort of relationship is this. Lots of other crazy making stuff too. I’m outta here. Planning my divorce.
An other thing - no one understands you bcs the narc is so charming with others , but this tactiek is also killing two birds with 1 stone - to charm them while hurting you bcs he/she is never nice to you after they got you. The relationship now is ment only to use you and abuse you - that hurts a lot bcs you are a good person.
My sense of self was not lost it was stolen
I identified with the Jealousy bit. Whenever we went out he'd end up staring at some other woman or something then when he saw I was uncomfortable about it he'd accuse me of being jealous. I was made to feel uncomfortable because of the times he would threaten to go and see an Ex or someone else because I didn't call or text or fulfill the plans he wanted to do. This made me insecure. 🍒
But what if you just walk away like did. Not because I was jealous but how dare she try to hurt me.
Whenever me and my ex Narc went out somewhere like the store,movies, restaurants or even just walking down the street she would constantly if not EVERYTIME point out if a guy was checking her or flirting with her while I was with her (even if i was talking to her on the phone) SMH .... One phrase she would say to me was "I wish I was ugly because all these guys want me, I can't even walk down the street without a guy trying to talk to me, YOURE SO LUCKY I CHOSE" 🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 I would say "yea I do feel special but i hope you know those guys just wanna have sex with you because of your looks and I actually LOVE you because of your personality (the fake mask)and not because of how you look"
If you want to play a dangerous game you have to be able to deal with the consiquenses. Jealously is a dangerous game to play .
Considerably triggered by this, thank you, all the pieces now fit
I always knew there was something wrong with him,but he Made me feel crazy for noticing and calling him out about the weird things he did,i AM thankful for Your videos and other people who talk about this,i always knew i was not crazy ,but now i have proof ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Same here x
They also use hypocrisy as a tool. They should be free to do whatever the heck they want and call you jealous and controlling. But an innocent encounter with the opposite sex they don't know about is cheating and must be punished.
She said I brought her nothing but jealousy and drama in the end( I’ve never been a jealous person and I tried my whole life to stay as far away from drama as possible) the stuff I’m learning about my x-toxic- narc now is mind boggling. I’m so glad it’s over I couldn’t do another 5 years w that azzzzzzz
This video, more than anything else I have seen over the last ten years nailed it for me. My life has been hell the last sixteen years alternately trying to break the trauma bonding and trying to believe my partner was actually trying to change. I’ve left him more times than I can remember only to have him reel me back in by telling me he was seeing a counsellor because he was so depressed that I left him. It was my Achilles heel and he knew it.
For fifteen years my partner played me against his three adult daughters and his ex. Weekly. I would never know if I would get to see him on any given weekend because he’d have to see at least one of them. The long weekends it was usually all three. I noticed his daughters never called when we broke up. One time we got back together and I told him don’t let them know we’re back together and it was the best three weeks (other than covid lockdown) that we had, till they found out. They were being manipulated just like I was. I always suspected that every time he stood me up for them he got brownie points and they loved him more (which he needed). He kept proving to them he loved them more and they were happy. This constant need they had for proof he loved them might have resulted from being abandoned by their mom. She only wanted my partner back once she heard about me. She spent a good ten years trying to get him back, and letting me know “he loved her more” and she was winning. She didn’t really want him back she just wanted to drive me away. She was a nasty piece of work. I look back and wonder why I stayed but I understand now that it was the competition for his love than bound me. 😢
Thank you so much for this and all your videos. Many have spoken to me but this freed me. ❤
Had been wondering this for a while now and it's so hard to find a video that talks on triangulation to actually induce jealousy and insecurity when you were not like that as much before. A lot of videos mainly talk on triangulation with arguments with people (which happens too) but I was searching for information on this to help understand how this was being induced .. so thank you for this!
He tried to create jealously but I just don't have that as part of my personality. Instead I left and never went back.
He told me he wants to spend a night a a friend's house that's a girl. So he can fix her house. When iv been waiting 5 yrs fir him to fix are own house. Its like helped that and was acting like I should not be up set. He told me I am jealous
That's crazy. I am sorry to hear that. I'm here to support you on your healing journey. If you need assistance, please schedule a one-on-one session with me at rawmotivations.com/one-on-ones.
Invite a guy to your house to fix the house instead and see his reaction to that ;)
Almost all of my exes have done this, and it's infuriating. They behaved as if i was the crazy person for responding exact.y how they wanted me to.
I don't play this... So when he did that to me... I just done it back... Lol 2 can play that game.
Oh yes.... he did this all the time, aspecially on social media 🤪🤪
So I was visiting my girlfriend in Canada was throwing a New Year’s Eve party. We are so happy in our relationship at this point. It’s been at least three years. I’m having a great time at the party. I go step outside just to see her best friend showing up to the party with her ex-boyfriend, I was so confused and everyone made me feel like I was insecure. Why in the world would your best friend bring your ex-boyfriend to your party knowing that your new boyfriend is in town visiting. She took absolutely no accountability and made me feel like I was the problem. Now every time we argue her ex pops up in the argument for absolutely no reason, deep down side I felt like I was being manipulated
How sick is a person to emotionally abuse you sick
And there is so much more and I'm talking 24 years
Yep. When I was postpartum mine did this to me. Shut me out of his “exciting life.” Became friends with all these women online. Would tease that he had access to models and other beautiful women- but he is choosing me for some reason.
Complete emotional annihilation. 3 years later and divorcing, I’m still working on regaining myself worth.
I’m not a jealous person..I’m secure in myself and choose to believe a person is with me because they want to be..if they aren’t and/orattempt to bring others into the relationship or try to make me jealous..I don’t take the bait.It’s childish.That annoyed him so much he said “I don’t exist around you.” That was a very revealing statement and another ‘oddity’ that helped me understand he was disordered.
I didn’t take the bait, either, and it resulted in him one day without warning discarding me for someone else he was head over heels for. They lasted about a month but at the beginning of the relationship with this chick no one had ever heard of, a mutual friend of ours asked him, “what about Lisa?”…to which he answered “Lisa doesn’t ask questions. She’ll be fine.”. I didn’t ask questions because I saw what he was doing but I didn’t realize how serious it was. I thought he was just needing more validation and confirmation of my commitment, not that he was already farming those things from multiple sources.
@@lisasays7740 good for you they don't like it when they can't 'control' you.Its not a relationship it's a delusional 'dictatorship.'
Intense emotions building up can be a blessing as well as a curse
Jealousy is dangerous with the wrong people it can lead to someone being killed or murdered it's a dangerous game to play. Some will not show jealousy just cut your throat one day. Rather keep the peace and take care of one another in friendship or in romance. There was a teenager killing her best friend all in the name of jealousy. I prefer to rise above that. It's not worth it be careful emotions run deep sometimes might not show it yet it does. I would say each stay with their boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse and just make friends with the other person have fun times together and don't stir the pot that is not needed it's looking for death. Rather be friends and include one another in this way we create beautiful friendships and also no one feels left out or threatened.
My boyfriend took this triangulation to a crazy level.
Yes...this is exactly what he is doing.
Triggering but brilliant Ben. I’m saving this one in my notes for future reference. Thank you ♥️
Sad he did this at my job flirted with a narcissist coworker who had a lot of plastic surgery and she was jelous he gave me attention when she just Met him lied and got me fired. Idk why he would start drama at my job and I never tried to see him again
I just want to say thank you!
The best way to handle the situation is be kind include everyone ( I am talking about friendships) I do show affection to those I care for send or give sweet hugs or do something both of us like each stay with their own boyfriend, husband, girlfriend or wife having that close friendship bond with him and her . When I love someone they will know it and I will video call anytime always have time for my special people. Can have your own unique thing you share as well it's beautiful. Leave the jealousy games.
Appreciate your sharing your thoughts, readers will definitely benefit from it. Keep spreading awareness and self-healing.
@@RawMotivations Thank you
Nacs always set you up for failure
There are no self-aware narcissists.
Really had no idea! So completely true of my recent ex. He would constantly make comments of how he wanted to be w his girlfriends and comments abput their nipples and then say I was insecure and constricting their relationship. The whole thing was nuts-he d start fights about nothing I could follow. Ended up blocking him. Can't go back
Yes, I agree with this! I have a married daughter who spoke flatteringly about her mother-in-law while treating me disrespectfully. She said to me once that her mother-in-law was a classy person, as though I was not. She always boasts about her plans and her husband's family while ignoring me when I am around. She has done many things like this nearly every time we speak. She seems to think boasting is good when I see it as manipulative. Sharing something we are happy about is far different from bragging to make others feel inferior. If she had been respectful and kind on a regular basis I might not have come to this conclusion but because she is rude to me it is clear what she is doing. I realized that jealous feelings come because of the disrespect shown me. If she were sharing without disrespect I would not be jealous. I do believe this form of manufactured jealousy is not in our character, it is just a feeling they foster when around them. I don't feel insecure just astonished that this behavior ruins the relationship.
It hurts so much, that this person that I loved is so sick.
Let's just breathe out for a moment, all together, all the healed ones, but just for a moment how sad it actually is, that there are people in this life on this earth in such a condition.
Just imagine there is no reincarnation or after life ... What a waste the life of such a mean person actually is, just being on earth hurting people, making them jealous, manipulating them. Whilst one could just be happy and be loved and cuddled in the warmth of the love of a goddess like the woman that loves you.
It is just so sad.
He blew on other womens cleaveage and ignored me. When I tried to talk to him about it. I got blasted with verbal abuse YOU ARE THE MOST JEALOUS WOMEN I E EVER KNOWN
He BLOWS on women’s cleavages?? 😂 What a creep and weirdo. Good riddance. What a 🤡
My father is highly narcissistic and he would play these jealousy games among my family members. He treated me as the golden child/favourite one and that would make my mother insecure about herself. He would tease her constantly about how much more he loved me, than he loved her. He would abuse her, while love bombing me. She was never able to bond with me because of it and resented me my whole life. She eventually became my abuser in that process.
He would do the same thing to my older brother and this would make him feel worthless. I have never been able to have a healthy relationship with my brother either unfortunately. I have gone completely no contact this year after my daughter was targeted by my parents abuse. It’s been very difficult to understand what we’ve been through since narc abuse is very insidious and confusing af. I wouldn’t wish this upon anyone tbh.
I had the ' Thank you for not adding me to Facebook '.Yep. So I wouldn't if I was thinking about it.
He went to retrieve tools from an exes place, and said ' She hasn't aged well. I'm glad that she didn't try anything, as she can be a bit funny at times'.
Meeting ' chums', going off for walks with female ' friends'and that seemed to be more of a priority than spending time with me.
Had a friend stay in his bed ...yeah right.
He used his female friends to get a reaction out of me by telling me that he had a list of friends as long as arm that wanted to go canoeing with him.
Even if they did - tough shit. I was his girlfriend..or were they also?
I suspect it was totally him.that would have been inviting women to go with him.
I was way too tolerant!!!
I am facing exactly this, I was already jealous in previous relationship, but now it's much worse, I got paranoic, even with phone sounds, lost my self esteem, my believe in myself, I was always trying to get more attractive after a triangulation, always trying to improve more things on me. But until another day I was not noticing this, was blind, until he tried to triangulate with the neighbor, a lady that was always kind to me (actually she talks much more with me), but because she asked fo the tools to fix a monitor boom he went there another day to get a package dressed up like going for a date, and only at this time I realized, also because started to watch about narcissism. Now my current state is to analyze things from a more consciences perspective, and I'm glad to have people making videos like you are doing, these videos become our safe harbor, a place where we can realize that we are not crazy or paranoic with the mental games. Thank you so much ❤❤❤
I have NEVER been a jealous person but during the relationship with my ex that I worked with, she would constantly tell me every time my manager would flirt with her and what he would say/do.... she would then say how weird he was and whatever .... it became to the point where I started getting jealous/mad because me being a man I know if I flirt with a girl and could tell if she's interested or not .... I thought she was telling me beause she was being Truthful and cared about me , i know now it was just her triangulation tactic to gain supply.... Anyway i asked her " why he is he so comfortable to flirting with you everyday, he must think you're flirting back" she reassured me that she wasn't but I ignored that red flag 🚩🚩 Long story short she discarded Nov 1st and was dating him 3days after discard (maybe even before) they are now together SMH
What if they are jealous for no reason and constantly accusing you of things you never done just to control who you can talk to and who you can not? I don't even know anymore if I'm the narcissist or if they are narcissistic, narcissist will accuse you of being narcissistic and gaslighting them 😮
It's never too late to begin your healing journey! Join our free masterclass and discover how to break free from toxic relationships here www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass..
Yeah I’ve been through this way too many time🤦🏾♀️
Psychopath Free by Jackson McKenzie
Excellent book ~ thx 4 sharing
my ex narc friend mocked me for seriously struggling in life by telling people that her family thinks that I'm jealous of her having better life now and I don't. It was very disturbing to see how far she would go to try get a reaction out of me
I can relate. Shaking my head because it's so true.
if he constantly is telling me how hot other girls are & beautiful but hardly ever compliments me.. is that something a narcissist would do??
I don't like the word Jealousy. I felt a huge fear of loss and my covert Narc ex knew I struggled with childhood trauma due to my narcissistic parents, but mainly my covert Narc mother. He triggered it with triangulation by staring at mostly very young women, checking up profiles of sexy women and watching porn. I blamed myself, tried harder, tried to be understanding to the point of wanting to die. He said he did it because I didn't love him "enough".
He had a female best friend. He told me that he didn’t tell her that we made a commitment because he thought she had feelings for him and he would lose her friendship. I ended up supporting their friendship and saying she should know and she’ll stay friends with you. They were “best friends” yet we never hung out with her after many attempts of me telling him to make plans with her. When issues with other women would arise he would always bring her up. We ended up fighting about her on multiple occasions, most of the time he would bring her into the argument. After breaking up and him hoovering me back in, I found out that they had slept together months before we started dating. I had asked many times and he lied every time.
He had another friend living far away. He went to there for work and made plans to have supper with her. I had no problem with it but he talked to me and treated me as if I did. Demanding that i have no issue with it, that they had changed plans to have supper at her place. That she was married and there was nothing to worry about. After the supper he talked about how her husband was worried. Making me feel that married isn’t a good reason to trust. After he came back home he told me that they sleep with other people sometimes. That she talked about sex a lot. Talked about having sex with other woman.
I had set boundaries previous to this on what I am uncomfortable with on topics of conversation with the opposite sex. And this went against my boundaries.
He would consistently bring up other women and things he knew I would make me uncomfortable
Thanks for sharing, it sounds like you've been through a challenging situation. Trusting your instincts and setting boundaries is important for your well-being. Remember, you deserve a healthy and respectful relationship where your feelings and boundaries are respected. Stay strong and prioritize your own happiness. 🌟
My narcissistic ex used to create jealousy very subtly. He would use his intermittent re-enforcement between me & my children. Very, very destructive! I would be completely excluded from family events and important occasions.
Yes, my ex-narc fwb put me in that position, accused me of being jealous. I insulted him with it. I told him to get over himself and that there are no women knocking down his door.... literally none!
You're not alone. I just want to heal.
We're here to support you on your healing journey. Take the first step by joining our free masterclass, where you'll learn how to break free from toxic relationships and much more. Just head over to www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass
excellent video, excellent content and suggestions
Glad you enjoyed it
This explains 100% the lady that I am with right now. Planning an exit strategy.
I worked with a Narc years ago that I believe was trying to triangulate me with his fiancé. One instance, he and his fiancé and I were all at a business party and I was standing near stairs on a porch deck. And as the narc and his fiancé walked down the stairs he reached over and touched me on my lower back… for no reason. I wasnt in his way and he didn’t need me to move. Im sure he was doing this to make her jealous and of course with his constant need for attention he just wanted MY attention to be on him.
The first example sounds exactly like her and I and I'm scared to see the rest of the video, I'm so sad. I called her out awhile ago, after that she added gaslighting in manipulative into her arsenal of things to call me during arguments. After I said she does everything narcissist does to the t and gave examples obviously she didn't like that but we made up like the hundred other times and then I convinced myself that maybe it was a attachment style falling on the dismissive side but now I think I was right all along
Oh yes, they trigger you, once he sent me a receipt for a cake I was looking to cook, that was written by a woman and at the end it was written: eat with someone special😂. But most of the time he just gave compliments to all other women, even the most insignificant, exept me and I was all dress up…Now I laugh
My husband cheats,meaning he cheats me and our kids out of his attention and time,unless it is convenient for him, with anybody who is available ,Friends,family,neighbors,exes,everybody is more important than me and our kids,he loves to triangulate
I'm here to support you on your healing journey. If you need assistance, please schedule a one-on-one session with me at rawmotivations.com/one-on-ones.
My ex was full of old girlfriends who popped up like mushrooms from time to time.
I have nowhere to go
I went thru this on a horrible scale... She expected me to be okay with her hanging out with her former FWB of 10 years off and on... I was like what??? And than she was hanging out every thursday with a guy she used to date and lied and said they never did anything sexual.... 6 months into the relationship she tells me she gave him oral sex... I was floored... Than eventually told me she was going to spend xmas with him for 2 weeks at Hawaii... Bc thats where hes moving to... I was shocked
ALL of our fights was bcuz of another women ALL .. and I’ve nvr been like this in my life EVERYONE was better then me .. better looking then me … better everything… he hated my insecurities that he put there ..and he didn’t care who it was or what it was he would do a traffic cone if he could
Not alone
He has cheated on me with people in his own department and I found that out by finding pictures of different women on the bottom of his basket While looking for sheets to make the bed. He has told me to take cyanide In order to deal with my emotions. He always told me he will replace me. He would threaten to call the police on mean which were right down the street and he is cop soh obviously for years I never got any help from that department . The court is his stage and he knows it well. He has alienated me from my daughter several times by Treating her like a ping pong ball back-and-forth. He has told me women are only worth one thing and I totally believe him at this point. I was sexually assaulted and I mean viciously raped And he left me to go on a golf trip for a week And then he calls me to scold me for allowing our daughter to have a sleep over with wonderful friends the day after I was Raped and he blamed me
Accurate af
You guys don't understand they don't like you.thats why the games. They only play games with people they don't like. So you must leave with the games start
She triangulate me with my cousin smh
My Nex go too
What is the name of the book??
Do you help for a 62 year old woman living with a bad narcissist, please help me
I’m 58 currently separated and in divorce process. I was married to my narcissistic husband for 40 years. I’m drawing a small pension but unable to afford housing alone so I moved back home with my parents not the greatest situation, but it gave me the space I needed. I don’t know what your situation is currently, but if you have questions I would be happy to talk.
We work to help everyone we can. Here is where a lot of ppl start: www.rawmotivations.com/escape-toxicity
Role the dice 😝
That "teacher" mode is the worse!
Just leave. It will get worse and worse. Go NC if you can. Say goodbye and block, take it one day at a time, it will get easier. There's no reason to explain ANYTHING to them. They know what they did/are doing Just get away, protect yourself because they are damaging you, damaging your heart. It's an assault. They don't deserve your energy. Also, they will never give you closure or an explanation that makes any sense. I promise you that. NC is thr first step in healing
Too much of this is familiar.
This is silly..I started noticing change..I felt with it..change and cheating..gone
Triangulation is not okay
definitely not
🙋🏼♀️
Good content, but you’re overdoing the hand gestures. It’s manic looking 😳
Thanks for the feedback!
💥💣
So basically narcissists are psychopaths? 😂😂
Not all are
@RawMotivations o ok
She said I brought her nothing but jealousy and drama in the end( I’ve never been a jealous person and I tried my whole life to stay as far away from drama as possible) the stuff I’m learning about my x-toxic- narc now is mind boggling. I’m so glad it’s over I couldn’t do another 5 years w that azzzzzzz