DARK SIDE Of COMPETITIVENESS: The Toxic Grip Of FAMILY Dynamics

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  • Опубликовано: 30 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 31

  • @TherapistTamaraHill
    @TherapistTamaraHill  22 дня назад +5

    Stay tuned for the WONDERFUL LIVE CHATBOX! Youtuve will make it available soon.
    *Interestingly, nosy people are often very competitive and have absolutely no boundaries: ruclips.net/video/_hd-FHWpVhk/видео.html.

    • @slimdusty6328
      @slimdusty6328 22 дня назад

      Very interesting topic Tamara
      Competitiveness is useful when its aimed at bettering oneself with an intention to also use that growth for betterment of the family, the community, and the whole world overall. However that can also get out of hand when competitivity of one country can serve to overrun another, in some callous way. Humanity really needs to take far closer note of the dept of interconnectivity in life. If humanity desires to survive
      I have a family who would squabble and fight aggressively when they'd lose a board game. They'd even happily allow one family member's life to be left to get shredded by another predominant family member too, so long as their own needs get met well enough. But then if the tables ever turned back around onto them, they'd then see that as absolutely not being ok at all. Some of them will attempt to get some government department to come down hard on another family member, openly do so too, not even bother to do it in secret, as a method to knock the other family member back down a bit, so as to make themselves feel less jealous or toxically envious. Then i have other members of our family who i wouldn't be one bit surprised to learn how they'd been COVERTLY sneaking around behind our back, in secret, while attempting to get somebody else up against us. They seriously lack empathy, but in our family are absolutely convinced of it being only related only to Asperger's, although i'm not convinced that it is, as they never seem to change anything to any great degree. The family relationship is that weak between us all that feeble attempts at family connection always feels like nothing more than acts of bread crumbing followed by associated acts of ghosting and so on. And on and on it goes. Perpetually in time. These people would certainly have no qualms about contacting you in complete secret Tamara, in an attempted secret COVERT attack, as a way to attempt to "cause us to conform" with intergenerational family toxicity. I even suspect they might be doing so too. Ive suspected it might be so for a while now. If God exists i suspect God can know that answer anyway. So I don't intend to worry myself about it .People may even attempt to censor our comments, we make in this life, but yet God still remembers it all.
      I'm certainly not at all jealous of my family. If anything i feel an immense sense of pity for them, US ALL. Why shouldn't i?. They/WE don't even end up having many family memories to leave behind with our following family generations to treasure. Or even to have to take away with themselves/OURSELVES, to their/OUR own graves, either. This is the extent of the COLLECTIVE stupidity. They've learned to worship the almighty dollar like it's become the newly found God. They meanwhile see themselves as "the wise" people too, as well. Yet you'd have potential to get further forward by attempting to have a discussion with a concrete block wall
      Anyway, i noted how you overlooked the reality that some of us actually choose to go no contact, with family,. precisely for reason what serve to help ourselves to begin to focus more on not wasting anymore of our time, or our emotions, on matters which we finally gain enough enlightenment to see are near-enough totally unlikely to ever change. You know? . Why didn't you mention this scenario Tamara
      It's damaging to other people for sure. But the MOST SILLIEST thing of all, in my mind, is how it's actually damaging MOST of all to themselves too . Even though they cannot begin to imagine how it might be. I have multiple family members, all of them from a cult, or ex cult background, who fail to begin to imagine what it is that they've inadvertently been allowing this life to ROB them all of. They wouldn't have a clue. Basically because of how they remain focused so intently on "the money" alone. And yet, they'll all leave this world with the exact same amount of money as what anyone of us will. It won't ever occur to them that they've been robbed blind of so many family memories
      However, our whole world is now literally riddled with loads of similar lives of people like this. Our societies' systems have even been purposely designed to use, and to abuse, the lives of large multitude of sheeple minded people.
      Toxic society itself also serves to shape the children's ways of being seriously big-time too. This phenomena can also explain the reasons why the children won't necessarily end up the way how their parents are. What's more, if a family is a distant style family bonded type family setting (ie: the whole village type scenario), then chances are that the families children also NATURALLY grow to all be rather distant from one another too. Do you agree Tamara?
      When will humanity open their mind enough to see how "human interconnections" are in fact what's ALWAYS been controlling the peoples lives most of all, to a far GREATER degree, than what any one person alone, can ever do
      Anyway, in my view i feel people should know that they shouldn't necessarily need to bother to keep losing their own sleep over family matters. Stop to consider the serenity prayer. Learn to decern what may be within ones own power to change, and what wont be. Then use your energy to work on scenario where your expended energy can stand to be more "productive"

  • @Shiningbrilliantly2024
    @Shiningbrilliantly2024 21 день назад +5

    Sometimes we are not aware of a person competing with us; until it happens!

  • @Shiningbrilliantly2024
    @Shiningbrilliantly2024 21 день назад +5

    Competition people like to maintain updates on your life in Order to know how to attack you! Keep your guard up!

  • @jamesMcdonald-m7z
    @jamesMcdonald-m7z 21 день назад +10

    The only person you should be in competition with is with yourself>> trying to be better than the person you were yesterday 🙏

    • @TherapistTamaraHill
      @TherapistTamaraHill  21 день назад +1

      Agree!

    • @TheRetroWoman80
      @TheRetroWoman80 19 дней назад +1

      Your comment means a lot to me. Thanks James.

    • @samanthaq3422
      @samanthaq3422 12 дней назад +1

      So true..same mindset here..I killed my demons daily..use them to push into the light more🎉🎉❤❤

  • @gretchenburton7184
    @gretchenburton7184 22 дня назад +11

    I have been treated like this repeatedly for many years. Was crushed. Lost everything. Still putting pieces together. In my 70's.

    • @TherapistTamaraHill
      @TherapistTamaraHill  22 дня назад +4

      I'm so sorry. It's a painful reality when faced with this.

    • @dennisrobinson8008
      @dennisrobinson8008 22 дня назад +1

      So most of your natural life? You don't want to inflict consequences?

    • @gretchenburton7184
      @gretchenburton7184 22 дня назад

      @TherapistTamaraHill Thank you for understanding. Hurts so much and so many others hurt by me as I could not stand up for myself.

  • @Shiningbrilliantly2024
    @Shiningbrilliantly2024 21 день назад +5

    I have two sisters who are competitive and toxic! It has gotten vicious! I rather not inform them of what I am doing in order to prevent this hyper competitive behavior!

  • @chilloften
    @chilloften 21 день назад +2

    I’m not competing.
    Oh, the one-upmanship!
    It’s not necessary in this life.

  • @taramseur8190
    @taramseur8190 22 дня назад +6

    I love your channel, learning a lot

  • @Classybrown27
    @Classybrown27 16 дней назад +1

    You hit some extremely valid points the competition is truly in their mind they don’t realize how crazy they look!

  • @skyc.j4571
    @skyc.j4571 21 день назад +4

    Im a person who hates competition with others, I much rather connect and built together. But maybe that comes from me loosing the competitions most of the time 😂.

    • @samanthaq3422
      @samanthaq3422 12 дней назад

      Same here🎉🎉❤❤❤I love to cooperate than compete🎉🎉🎉I compete inward🎉🎉

  • @JKDVIPER
    @JKDVIPER 22 дня назад +5

    We are here!

  • @yvettejones6196
    @yvettejones6196 21 день назад +1

    I went to a high school in which the competitiveness was really encouraged. I had a problem with liking other students who scored higher than me on tests or at the end of the semester. I felt empty when I was not in the top of the class. Possibly it’s because I was not allowed to sit on my parents laps as a kid since the pediatrician said my oldest sister was in grief since I was born. My parents didn’t know any better as 20 years olds parents but I still feel mostly invisible and in the way. I think I tried to block out my inadequacies by succeeding.😢

  • @WizardTP
    @WizardTP 21 день назад +1

    I definitely have dark empathy traits. Fragile sense of self being lesbian with unsupportive parents. But I still did my absolute besto make them happy and tried to be the opposite of who I was . A lot of people in my community I notice can be a bit fragile and can share this.

  • @elizabethsnyder9678
    @elizabethsnyder9678 18 дней назад +2

    You should only be competing with yourself, and challenge yourself. Never compete with others. We all have a purpose by God and a role in life. To be honest my dad wasn't in my life. My mom was single parent raise us. With church my grandparent my father in heaven was my father. As my sisters said none can please everyone.

  • @Classybrown27
    @Classybrown27 17 дней назад +1

    These kinda ppl are so bazaar because they do the most to hinder you while you’re simply minding your business focusing on yourself so strange

  • @ayatflashfish
    @ayatflashfish 21 день назад +1

    Thank youuu❣️ Amazing 🙏🏽

  • @halfthebattleknowingis4862
    @halfthebattleknowingis4862 21 день назад

    I watched the live again. I was interested in your thoughts after reading my comment. The part where you said, (paraphrasing) is there a way someone can unwind themselves from being so competitive?? I said, hummm🤔🤔 Upon doing a bit of research there is a part of the brain that regulates competitive behavior. This part of the brain is called the medial prefrontal cortex. The middle part of the prefrontal cortext??? If this is true then innately we're all competitive, we just have to be activated. Maybe, your college experience activated your natural ability to be competitive.

  • @brentjames932
    @brentjames932 12 дней назад

    My childs mother stay competing against me its like she has to top all my abilities makes me mot even wanna be me nomore😂

  • @Classybrown27
    @Classybrown27 17 дней назад

    I had a woman I meet once force herself into my life in every aspect just to try to ruin it for no apparent reason truly mentally unstable sick experience flipped it like I disliked her for no reason when I had a very valid reason for my dislike for her so egotistical it’s mind blowing