@@ruthslater6364i know exactly what you mean. Until my early/mid-twenties i had clear boundaries and would never have endured all that crap but man…after years and years of that torture your whole identity starts cracking and overwritten by those evil people until you become a shell of a person who has no energy to fight back…i hope you are doing better. Do you mind sharing with us what stage of recovery you are at right now? Are you still making sense of everything that has happened?
There is one thing that narcissists hate more than being unseen and misunderstood, as do most folks. What freaks-out a narcissist most is being accurately seen and well-understood.
The “I forgot” gaslighting ended it for me. My response was “I’m not responsible for your bad memory. If you don’t remember or write it down it’s not my job to keep reminding you” sometimes he remembered.
Very often people mistake trauma bond for love because they don't understand what love is and what you are explaining here is what love actually looks like
They manipulate your emotions in all sorts of ways from the very beginning. Initially it’s to seduce you and to get you to fall for this facade. And then once you begin to catch on, it’s to make you question yourself. When they can’t make you question yourself, they make everyone else question you. But what they won’t ever do, is look at themselves.
This is so true Chris, it took me years to try to even start to begin to self reflect! I would have a really difficult time trying to do a video like this on my channel lol
Well done for making me feel better about my family narcissistic personality disorder abuse i face every single day. I call it fool’s gold games my dad did always even now
My mother always told me the fable of the wolf in sheep's clothing. Imagine my surprise when I found real life examples of this. It shocked me more when, 20 years later, the description of the narcissistic personality I heard on these videos matched the words I had used to describe the person I married.
An act of kindness or doing something for someone else without looking for something in return. That feeling of being safe in a persons presence. A feeling of being respected. Just the urge to give someone a big hug and hold them. These things I craved but were never there! I never heard those words, " I love you". I was in an emotional desert and I was dying of thirst!
Thank you as always Dr Ramani. Social awareness is not the same as empathy - what a great observation! I think my ex was a combination of covert and overt narcissist, which made things ever more confusing. He used his abusive childhood as a reverse credit card - he charged and I was supposed to pay. I am approaching 5 months of no contact and I am getting my life back! thank you so much!!!❤ ,
Narcissists condition you to not say no. Because saying no in their language is "fighting" or "disrespecting". Everytime we say no to something, it goes in their revenge list
I said it before and I’ll say it again: Dr Ramani, you are a genius. Loved the part about the difference between empathy and social awareness and charm. These snakes in the grass succeed because it’s hard to figure out if they’re real or fake. Now I’m much more careful and can usually spot the snakes. Thank you Dr Ramani for helping me keep my sanity. 🪷🌱🌾
Whenever someone attempts to talk me into doing something I'm not comfortable doing, I'll kindly decline. If they try to guilt me or label me for saying no, I just shrug and say, "you're entitled to your flawed opinion of me." 🤷🏼♀️
When they try to guilt your for saying "no", it's always insults. To which I reply, "If that is so, you should have not asked me". Your response is gold also. Never ask a question in response to them insulting you, like " why then are you asking me if I'm ...this or that?" That will give them fuel to keep the conversation going. Don't ask them questions, just state the obvious. Takes the wind out of their sails. They can blather on, you don't have to listen to it.
I so wish I had seen your reply the other day when my character was attacked by my family member for not bending to what they wanted… it’s such a perfect reply!!!
What an excellent description of the narcissist's "acute observation" like they're casing the joint. Spot on, Dr Ramani. That's exactly what they're doing, because they are preparing to come bleed it (us!) dry, and take everything of value they can, and use it for their own means.
There will soon come a time when anyone dealing with someone like this will become indifferent. I’m almost there in my own divorce and the number one recommendation I have for anyone dealing with someone like this is trust your voice and fortify your boundaries. Make your boundaries Fort f’ing Knox
Ahh Dr Ramani, you are right again. My ex narc was arrogant and grandiose enough to promise what was ever going to happen wasn't anything to do with me. He should have been an actor. There was little 18 year old me sharing my dreams with this man who lied and lied and lied and lied to me for our entire relationship.
If you're lucky enough to have two loving, normal, decent parents who are firm but fair with discipline. You'll grow up to love and respect yourself and be able to recognize whether it's real or fake LOVE!
Elementary Dr Ramani! That’s when I quit sharing deep secrets. Ty to the therapist in our world. I spill it out!! Yep they set u up. The issue is they add lies to the story or don’t give the full story or just out and out lie about the whole thing. Ty
This video reminded me of something I read recently-have you ever heard of 'The Irresistible Seduction Formula' by Olivia Simmons? That book is so transformative, it's a life changer.
Every single manipulation tactic all but implies the use of the lying tactic and the gaslighting tactic. I actually dislike it a little calling out gaslighting as a manipulation tactic as it's actually an effect. All manipulation tactics will contribute to it by nature of what manipulation is. Some tactics however certainly take the gaslighting effect to a whole different level. Blatant lies that are so bad they insult your intelligence is one of them. That kind of shit will make you feel like you are in the twilight zone after a while. Here are some of the reasons they do this: To test their control. To feel superior and/or entertainment. This proves to themselves how much control they have over you. In the end, you will give up and you will not leave (trauma bonded). In the process of getting to the giving up stage, you will go through some pretty nasty emotional states ending in massive amounts of cognitive dissonance to swallow all of that. Cognitive dissonance is a trauma defense mechanism where you essentially lie to yourself in various ways so that you can bring back some semblance of equilibrium to the insanity you find yourself unable to escape from. As part of the ‘backing you into an emotional corner’ tactic. This is a tactic where you are manipulated into being emotionally unstable inevitably leading to you losing your shit. This gives the narcissist a big dopamine burst, they feel powerful and superior having so deftly controlled you and manipulated into this emotional state. To finish the little game they play, they make sure to point out how unhinged and unstable you are and suggest that perhaps you need help or medication. Of course, you will internalize all that shame and guilt and the million other raging emotions they have created and swallow all that essentially allowing them to scapegoat their blame and accountability onto you. Bring on some more cognitive dissonance and gaslighting effects. To condition you to expect less respect, and ultimately put up with more abuse. You will tire of the inevitable circular argument trying to convince the narcissist of the blatantly obvious lie and eventually find yourself challenging them less and less as you subconsciously accept the fact that if you do it will just make your life and emotional state more miserable and you will be denied the satisfaction of any kind of ‘win’ even if it is easy to disprove. This is part of the domination process and makes sure all the power in the relationship ends up with them by the end. To turn your mind to mush as the gaslighting effect takes hold more and more over time. This makes you even easier to control. Many times while easy to disprove it requires some kind of concession of some obvious truth that the narcissist can just doggedly refuse to agree with or remember (‘the intentional forgetting’ tactic and the ‘feigned confusion or ignorance’ tactics are often employed for this). So, in fact, it is not so easy to prove when the narcissist refuses to correctly remember what happened 10 min ago or accept sound logic or reasoning. You will just turn blue in the face trying. Of course, in some cases it is indisputable. A phone log or something. My experience is when this kind of stuff happens it wasn’t their intention typically, although sometimes it was. But in these scenarios, you will typically get some sort of angry ‘invalidating’ tactic, with some good old ‘manufactured rage’ and ‘intimidation’ tactics to ‘put you on the defensive’ and get you more susceptible to further manipulation. Maybe something like: “Get over yourself already” followed up by some ‘blame-shifting’ tactics with some good old ‘guilt’ and ‘shame’ tactics, like “Why the hell are you spying on my phone records anyway? What kind of relationship is this? I don’t have any privacy? I don’t know if I can do this anymore! You have major jealousy issues! You need help!” You will walk away as the loser either way. There are resistance tactics that can be used but this is a very difficult tactic to deal with and it is one of their favorites. I won’t get into the counter-tactics here though. The only way to really win in a relationship with a narcissist is to leave them and go no contact. Additionally, If you suspect cheating or other forms of manipulation and need to gather evidence for your own peace of mind, you may consider reaching out for assistance. For more information, you can contact: MetaspyHub@gmail. com.
Narcissists slyly use the word " Love" to Draw us In to their Web, then Find Out what is Most Important to us, which they Then deliberately use as Weapons against us ! Thank God for Dr. Ramani and her remarkable ability to articulate the complex, confusing matrix of how narcissists work
Narcissists love to hear the sound of their own voice. After seeing through their mask, any b.s./nonsense spewing out of their mouth is just 'white noise'. Like a humming light fixture that's a constant annoyance that doesn't stop. Options... a.) put up with it... b) try and fix it yourself (good luck)....c) remove it altogether and enjoy the peace and quiet again.
0:36 There had been a smear campaign against me on social media started by this woman because she was jealous that a man she liked was interested in me and not her. She spread rumors I was a catfish, I had a stable of men, and also - that I was a man. Many months later, I had dirt on her and my narc boyfriend at the time was like, "do it, spread that info about her, you know you want to, do it, do it, do to her what she did to you, etc." I swear I felt like I had the devil on my shoulder. I felt like I was being tested. I didn't do it. Concerning they have an issue with you being a stick in the mud - he broke up with me "because there were too many times I told him no when he wanted something."
My ex husband used to want me to go out in public half naked to fit in with his "bike culture"....he liked me to act a certain way, which stroked his ego about being with a "hot chick"...I would obviously draw looks and comments from men, which he then couldn't deal with and then turned it back around on me....I never flirted with these people and kept to myself... yet he would accuse me of doing this to draw attention to myself and trying to pick up men. It got to the point to.where when we would go out I would only stare at the floor to which he would start a fight because I was no long "Fun"....as we all know with a narcissist....YOU CAN'T WIN
Did you ever tell him you were uncomfortable hanging out of your clothes and that you didn't like the stares and comments from other men? My guess it would cause a fight, but just wondered.
You're so right you can't win with a narcissist! I'm very sorry he did those things to you made you do those things and how uncomfortable it made you feel. It's not your fault. Hope you can get some closure, dear.
My husband is described as a Covert Narcissist. He uses basic maneuvers. He knows I’m enrolled in programs to change my reactions. At first he thought he would benefit from it. He seriously thinks I’m the problem. He can’t see the forest from the trees. Now I clearly see he initiates the arguments. Now this is what he does: I called him while he’s at his mother’s. I informed him his mom’s car part was delivered. I reminded him this morning I need my haircut. I mentioned that over a month ago.. So now I asked him why did he need to be at his mom’s. He answered, her car’s broken down, and she needs me to take her to pay bills. I said oh yes that’s right she just got paid. Then I said that wasn’t obvious to me because I’ve paid bills on line. I said my mistake. I had that ..Dah moment.. then I asked in a calm manner, Does your mom know how to pay bills on line? He yelled and said you are attacking my mom. What are you saying my mom’s dumb he was going on & on.. at first I reverted to my pattern behavior and tried to say you interrupted me I wanted to ask if she wanted me to show her how to pay bills on line.. You all know that’s way too many words for him to stop and listen.. he had another argument.. I tried to verbally set a boundary.. my brain knew that wasn’t happening.. my reaction instead was I disconnected the call.. It does seem to me that he does do things more intentionally.. I just now realized I am seeing it crystal clear now. Oh my, I didn’t realize how my intuition was so suppressed related to my interpretation of my husband’s behavior. 😮 I am aware since I’m growing he’s becoming more insecure. I’m also aware he was playing games with a naive little girl in a woman’s body. I’m not putting myself down essentially that’s true about our marriage. I know I have a RN Degree. I did struggle with that too. Nurses may care about their client’s life support, which there are some that do Nursing to feel powerful. So unless you’re part of the fly monkey team, you’ll get thrown under the bus. That definitely helped my husband when I believed it even more, that I was the consistent factor. Now he feels more helpless and victimized than ever. No wonder he called me a Narcissist. I must be finally setting those boundaries and focusing on myself care. I did start meditating consistently about 8 months ago. And I started practicing Yoga about a month ago. Here’s the punch line. I met him when he turned 18. He looked as if he was in his early 20’s. We met in College. I have been watching Dr. Ramani since 2019. So the acceptance stage has been met. The grief stages have passed. So now I need to remove myself. No wonder my husband feels like I don’t have any feelings. I don’t have any feelings for him. It’s like he’s with an Acquaintance. Take care ladies. 🌻
Just an "F.y.i." very high number of 'children of alchoholics' in the nursing and veterinary world. So, be aware ! Lots of toxic behavior behind the caring facade ! (I worked in Vet world for a number of years). Best of luck on your new life !
Thanks for a valuable series about narcs. This one is very informative and really made me think and ponder. Stuff discussed here is really serious and grave, one cannot listen to it with a light heart, especially after you have some experiences with those hellish creatures.
The most infuriating narcissistic comment is “I’ll take care of it” what this actually means is I will do nothing about this especially because you want it!
@@acasyd Someone that never cared about you made ONE comment, that being - "I'll take care of it", and probably never cared or tried to fix whatever the issue was and then this comment to you, from now on, means "I will do nothing about it especially because you want it"? That sound like a YOU problem and your solipsism.
They are waiting for only you to deliver. They will hold on because you might have something they could benefit from. They would offer you the van life but benefit from your future so they won't let go.
The manipulation that you talked about such as "you're such a prude" was used against me when my mother was out sleeping around with others and it got me in trouble with kids at school. Other kids would say things to me about my mother's behavior , as if "I" was responsible for her behavior. I would complain and that's what she'd say, You're such a prude, you never want me to have any fun.( I was 10 yrs old at the time ,BTW). My mother evened the score with me through sexual abuse so I couldn't say anything about her behavior anymore. She pushed me into a sexual relationship when I was 13 so I could produce a child , since she couldn't herself ( she had her tubes tied the previous year) with the same man she herself was sleeping with. My own mother sacrificed my virginity to her boyfriend in order to produce a child she couldn't have herself and to please a man who was willing to sleep with a child for" kicks". Narcissistic abuse by a sexual predator is bad enough but when it is your own mother it is the worst kind of shame you can imagine. For context I am a female to male transgendered person so at the time this was happening I was a female child.
That's so horrible 💔 Keep your head up & surround yourself with positivity ALWAYS.. we can't choose our family but we can choose our circle as adults & still have a beautiful life. *Virtual hug ❤
wow - this video hit home for me so strongly. Love as a concept is manipulated by narcissists so badly. I could not have seen this 5 years ago when I started learning about narcissism so I could free myself from the effects of the abuse. The work lies - as you say - in getting to know one’s own self. I am grateful for professionals such as you, Dr Ramani, for teaching these concepts.
Sometime in the future, this behaviour will be considered criminal. Wasting years,months or weeks of someone's life on a deep fake existence. Imagine what we could have accomplished with that time if the other person had good intentions towards us and treated us with genuine love and care?
Pay attention to back handed compliments. I watched sister in law just expose her self so much that her actions revealed hidden secrets she thought would stay buried. Body language reveals the real internal struggles.
This Desert is Full of these " frenemies" and I got PLAYED for Years by their Pretended ' Concern ' all those invasive phone calls, acting like they were on the same page with my social concerns starting their initial phone conversations with " hi How Are you ?" ( code for " are you available to my Con ?" ) or "Hi, How are things going ?" Which is code for ( are you avaliable for my Co job today ?" ). Etcetera, etcetera, EtCetera . Once it Finally Dawned on me that that's what these invasive phone calls were all about, I literally QUIT answering my phone to these people, avoided them like the plague in town, and steered Clear of them in common social settings. Then it got back to me through grapevine concerned parties, that often there was a Smear Campaign, engendered by these Very Same Pretended ' Concern' Invasive Callers. Social Predators that get royally Pissed off when their intended Targets put up and defend boundaries to protect themselves and their lived ones from social predator abuse. WOW ! What a Mindbender
My Ex-husband comes from an incredibly large family (he literally had 15 siblings and parents married til one passed). Upon reconnecting with him…carefully…I’ve learned that many of his siblings have divorced-remarried-and divorced again. They ALWAYS blame the non-family spouse as the problem. And anytime I observe and mention this…it is a sore spot for my Ex-husband. I stated…there are 2 sides to every story and even if the non-family Ex contributed to the demise of those relationships - your family members might want to look at the partners they’re picking because perhaps their “picker” is broken. It was a very difficult message for him to receive. And for this reason I refuse to become enmeshed in this toxic family system again!! His need for Narcissistic Supply screams WORSHIP THIS FAMILY and this 57 year old man still believes “it’s family (the one he was born into) over everything”.
...sometimes the narcissist/toxic person/s may go to any length/s just to eliminate the 'perceived threat', and it might take ages to even figure that theory/strategy, scary😳and sad😔 indeed, isn't it...many thanks Dr. Ramani as always🙏🌷🕊💝🤗
My Nsrc Ex once said to me "I'll get you a bottle of Wine because then I'll feel better about drinking". I had told him time and time again that I was giving Alchohol up and because of that he'd have a go at me for being boring. Nine out of ten times I stuck to my guns about it, but he'd blatantly ignore me. So he'd get a bottle and put it on the table "just in case you change your mind" he'd say; when our relationship started to go South again, the stress would cause me to weaken and have the bottle. Then he'd blame anything I had to say as "I see you've had a drink again" and dismiss my words or just discard me. It's clear to see now that his emotionality behind getting the Wine was to manipulate me and put himself in a position whilst blaming it all on me, so he could dump me. 🍒
Thank you, Dr. Ramani. I know it may be strange, but if you'll make a video of how love should feel and what it is, I'll really appreciate it. I grew up with two parents who had narcissist traits and a few siblings with the same problem. I'm no contact with them, and I'm not sure if I actually ever knew what love is and how it feels. I would appreciate to have a detailed description and explanation of how love feels, when I love someone, and when someone loves me.
Thank you Dr. Ramani. That's I have learned to do is disengage, distance and not personalize narcissistic behaviors. There are times I even play their game against them and speak boldly in their present. Even if it is at my own expense, I feel it is worth it. 🙏💗💗💗💗💗
It started on the first date when he told me my parents had no right to impose a curfew. It continued thru 21 years of hell. I became a people pleaser to survive, not myself at all!
The things you describe, the words they say are gaslighting in and of themselves because the behaviors that they are deflecting are anything, but loving or “love”
Absolutely tremendous DR Ramani, Thank you so much for this, Very insightful, Speaks volumes, We saw we heard we ignored you, I'm not allowing you to gaslight, Manipulate and distort reality :-) :-) :-) I know the Truth, I'm right about these two, I see right through them and everything :-) Peace, love and respect to you DR Ramani and everyone, Thank you universe, All glory power and praise and smile's to the most high :-) Winning :-)
It's interesting to me that you encourage the actual qualitative aspects of love. I did not accept the argument that i should give "unconditional love" in my relationship, an idea that was supported by the counselor we were seeing. In retrospect, all of my instinctive reactions were correct and saved me from being hopelessly manipulated. I don't think I am invulnerable or a different person now, but I survived. I have always had a strong sense of self and I am still that person.
I’m not lying myself so I lied who are living with lies. No one has the right to choose my destination. I’m confident in my ability!!!! Whatever it is I’m waiting for someone who demonstrates about me? I’m feeling better about myself.
The worst thing he tried to pressure me to do (besides steal) was to climb onto a train. Thankfully I did not do it because the train was running and could have taken off with us on its roof... it would not have been good. I would rather be "no fun" but alive. I know for sure that he would use the "you're one to talk" if I told him it was wrong.
17:00 on “Love”: I have to admit, the twisted part of me is actually envious of people who have been told “I love you” by their narcissist. I have been involved in 3 major intimate relationships in my life, all 3 narcissistic abusers - most recently a 7-year marriage to a man who was a vulnerable narcissist who morphed into a malignant one with coercive control, financial abuse, physical abuse, even sexual abuse. Here is the thing: Not one of these men ever told me they loved me…not even once! Not even on my wedding day! I know how awful this must seem, but I feel like I am being punched in the stomach as I listen to the stories of “I love you” being used to escape the blame for bad behavior. My narcissists never even did THAT! What is wrong with me that no one has ever loved me or even just SAID it for affect? I must be pretty terrible if no one’s ever even PRETENDED to love me, right? 😔
What i want to know is what percentage of people go through these types of relationships.i feel its a lot more common than we think.its devastating. Especially when family is involved.its scary when u think about it.the people who claim to love you the most are doing the most damage.
I think currently the stats say 1 in 6 people are on the spectrum of narcissism... so a lot of people are touched by these relationships and when you get to the point in your healing that you start seeing the larger societal things going on, you start 2 see that most people are in a narc relationship with their government, with their jobs, with their churches etc. and all 9f the sudden the rates of depression, addiction, suicide, DV & child abuse start to make sense 😳😳😳
My ex threw things all the time when he was in rage, including tables and chairs and TV and even his son’s bowl which was in use right at the moment, which made his son so terrified and had a fever the same night. However, when one time when I was so frustrated with him and threw a pillow to the ground, he caught it! Ever since he kept mentioning about my bad act of throwing things😅😅😅
Fantastic video My five-year relationship ended a month ago. The decision to part ways with the love of my life is something that truly consumes me. Though it's all in vain, I've tried everything to get him back, and I can't fathom my life with anyone else. Even though I've made every effort to quit thinking about him, I can't help but miss him and can't stop thinking about him. Why I am stating this here is beyond me.
@oOIIIMIIIOo I agree. They fell in love with the charming "facade". If that is no longer there - it is a mask to trick you to stay. 5 years is not bad. You have learned your lesson, I hope. Journaling. Walks in nature. Get curious as to WHY they "hooked" you !? (That is your 'Achilles heel' !). Stop throwing pearls before swine !
The victim is always who takes the responsibility for the bad doings of those personality disorders. Family courts are the biggest fraud that supports that kind of bullying. A typical scenario of a narcissistic personality disorder behaving legally fraudulent and the lawyers, after doing nothing to protect the rights of the victim, coming up with a statement such as “It is the fault of the victim because the victim of narcissistic abuse has chosen this personality disorder as a life partner” 😂
I was in a deep state of bliss and self compassion when pursued by a narcissistic sociopath “romantic” stalker. I had direct correspondence with this person a handful of times over a decade. Manipulation and smear campaigns distanced me from my professional community and I avoided reaching out to close friends because seeing them participate in the false reality (rather than being with them the way I remembered) compounded the loss and heartbreak. My point is you can lose everything healthy and supportive even by proxy to a narcissistic sociopath. I was full of joy and belonging at a time in my life when I was shamed and humiliated for my age. Personally, I felt like things were happening just in time. Having my own narrative does nothing to diffuse false narratives perpetuated by friends, acquaintances, and even clerks, judges, police, and institutions. The only relief comes from other emotionally intelligent beings, sometimes a librarian, or a singer, or a farmer, people who have no power to right the wrongs in any immediate or definitive way.
He convinced me to swing... Months later, I got pregnant. He denied being the father.... He even moved halfway across the country. He Refused to help financially and caused as many problems as possible.
I never met a human I loved as much as myself! I only loved other that were helpful, I didn’t love them as a person! Truth hurts! I would rather be honest
I CHOSE TO LIVE NARC FREE ZONE. There is a possibility better than narc. This is time is different for those who betrayed themselves. I learn from peoples living under mask. Also, I learn more…
I wish you would do a video on same sex narcissistic relationships. After 12 years with this thing, I had to leave and go no contact. I have had zero contact for 15 months and it has been a game changer. I am in trauma therapy for CPTSD and it’s working. This thing has traits of overt, covert, very neglectful and slightly malignant. I wouldn’t wish her on my worst enemy. I’m confused about whether my attachment style is becoming more secure or if I am becoming avoidant because I still don’t want to be around people after 15 months. The only thing I do outside of work is going to mass and catechism on Sunday. I trust no one.
It's terrible to progress when the abuser does everything they possibly can to cause interruption in everything I do. What do.i do here? I don't know who.it is. I've thought about going to a domestic violence shelter but I actually have a very good job but stuck in the cycle of domestic abuse. Trying my best each and every day. I do pray for a silent corrective action to the wrongdoers.
Narc knows that they are future faking with no good intention whatsoever. I used to have a boss like this. He sensed I got his number so he began to gaslight me- oh, I don't mean any offence, but you have this funny way of behaving, etc. BS.
I'm a textbook narcissist. I ruined a lot of lives by breaking everyone's happiness. Your videos for narcissist victims are great. Is there any hope for narcissists who truly want to change and grow?
Hi dr ramani My name is Jasmine and I have just come out of the worst emotional narcissist relationship you can imagine and been that woman you talking about right now, was forced to divorce my soul mate but I can prove my husband wasn’t at fault and with him by my side! It was Learnt behaviour from parents but I have my family back and I will come on your show and prove! If I can just remove his parents from his life and get my eldest believing mummy is always right! Please your now saying things that u need help to understand pls can I come on and help! I am not the kind of person to ever be able to comment let alone be able to come on a show! I forgot to say I wouldn’t of been able to work it out without listening to u on my time walks Regards Jasmine x
I raised 75k and Maria Luisa Clare is to be thanked. I got my self my dream car 🚗 just last weekend, My journey with her started after my best friend came back from New York and saw me suffering in dept then told me about her and how to change my life through her. Maria L. Clare is the kind of person one needs in his or her life! I got a home, a good wife, and a beautiful daughter. Note!:: this is not a promotion but me trying to make a point that no matter what happens, always have faith and keep living!!
I’m living with my principles but not expecting acceptance from others. I’m not studying other but I was studied by narcissist!!! I can count their names…?
My wife will say things to me that belittles me and other comments when we are not getting along and i am constantly asking what i have done or why is she so angry, she makes snarky comments such as “This is why i don’t invite my friends and family over”. So i will say to her so is it my fault? then she goes ballistic and says “i never said it was your fault!!!!! Can someone tell me i am not going insane? Then she says things like she is not responsible for my feelings. wait what? Am i going insane or is she turning the script on me? I really would like a answer on what this is. Everything i say is my own stinking thinking to her and i feel like maybe i am the crazy one.
Love your channel, Dr.Ramani. Lately and unfortunately, some are using your comments section to promote their weekly wealth incomes of $10,000 plus. I even saw someone who claimed $114,000 regularly every month. It may very well be, but this is NOT the platform for shameless self-promotion or whatever. I find these comments extremely inappropriate and suspicious. Love you, though! Take good care. ❤
Parents boat Name Luv a Luv. Drop ⚓ in a secluded cove & berate me at 16 non-stop about anything & everything. Next year drugged throw in mental hospital because I had a job & then mom stayed home from boating. Told by Dr. Barns that I'm the family scapegoat. Hell on earth when they pounced again 1977 to 2007. In laws too boat Name Wiki Wiki. Snowed In.
They pro expert at making u feel they can trust you. They the ones with the I'll intent. And prey on good people who would never do those evil things , they do good, so don't think others would to them
I became an entirely different person trying to please these unpleasable people. We're only happy when we get back our authentic self.
I did EXACTLY WHAT YOU SAID. I TRIED BEING ACCOMODATING. I WAS NEVER THAT DUMB WHEN I WAS YOUNGER. I GOT DUMBER AS I GOT OLDER.
Yeah I understand that all to well and it’s maddening,47 years and still in it😩sometimes I think I’m going insane😢
@@ruthslater6364i know exactly what you mean. Until my early/mid-twenties i had clear boundaries and would never have endured all that crap but man…after years and years of that torture your whole identity starts cracking and overwritten by those evil people until you become a shell of a person who has no energy to fight back…i hope you are doing better. Do you mind sharing with us what stage of recovery you are at right now? Are you still making sense of everything that has happened?
💯🌄🌼💜
Praying for you🙏@@sherylgriffith9005
There is one thing that narcissists hate more than being unseen and misunderstood, as do most folks. What freaks-out a narcissist most is being accurately seen and well-understood.
The “I forgot” gaslighting ended it for me. My response was “I’m not responsible for your bad memory. If you don’t remember or write it down it’s not my job to keep reminding you” sometimes he remembered.
Thank you for making this Life Saving Information Free to those of us who are Unable to afford 175.00 an hour for deep introspective Therapy Sessions
Very often people mistake trauma bond for love because they don't understand what love is and what you are explaining here is what love actually looks like
Love is a verb.
Saying ‘love’ is a manipulation if not consistently backup by action.
They manipulate your emotions in all sorts of ways from the very beginning. Initially it’s to seduce you and to get you to fall for this facade. And then once you begin to catch on, it’s to make you question yourself. When they can’t make you question yourself, they make everyone else question you. But what they won’t ever do, is look at themselves.
Brilliantly expressed!
This pretty well sums it up. So glad these videos are here to help people protect themselves from these predators.
This is so true Chris, it took me years to try to even start to begin to self reflect! I would have a really difficult time trying to do a video like this on my channel lol
@@nopereradicator yes it is
Well done for making me feel better about my family narcissistic personality disorder abuse i face every single day. I call it fool’s gold games my dad did always even now
My mother always told me the fable of the wolf in sheep's clothing. Imagine my surprise when I found real life examples of this. It shocked me more when, 20 years later, the description of the narcissistic personality I heard on these videos matched the words I had used to describe the person I married.
An act of kindness or doing something for someone else without looking for something in return.
That feeling of being safe in a persons presence.
A feeling of being respected.
Just the urge to give someone a big hug and hold them.
These things I craved but were never there!
I never heard those words,
" I love you".
I was in an emotional desert and I was dying of thirst!
I heard the words “I love you.” They were always transactional. ❤
Thank you Dr Ramani for all that you do!!
30:26 My mother future faked us as kids. As an adult I don’t say anything to anyone about what I’m doing until it’s done.
Overall that's my stance as well.
Thank you as always Dr Ramani. Social awareness is not the same as empathy - what a great observation! I think my ex was a combination of covert and overt narcissist, which made things ever more confusing. He used his abusive childhood as a reverse credit card - he charged and I was supposed to pay. I am approaching 5 months of no contact and I am getting my life back! thank you so much!!!❤
,
One could say a crocodile has "social aeareness," - for feeding purposes
Narcissists condition you to not say no. Because saying no in their language is "fighting" or "disrespecting". Everytime we say no to something, it goes in their revenge list
So well said. You just go with the flow to avoid the rage and revenge.
I said it before and I’ll say it again: Dr Ramani, you are a genius. Loved the part about the difference between empathy and social awareness and charm. These snakes in the grass succeed because it’s hard to figure out if they’re real or fake. Now I’m much more careful and can usually spot the snakes. Thank you Dr Ramani for helping me keep my sanity. 🪷🌱🌾
You’re the best, Dr. Ramami ❤ thankful for you !
Whenever someone attempts to talk me into doing something I'm not comfortable doing, I'll kindly decline. If they try to guilt me or label me for saying no, I just shrug and say, "you're entitled to your flawed opinion of me." 🤷🏼♀️
I really like that one! 😁
@@susanbradleyskov9179 me too!
When they try to guilt your for saying "no", it's always insults. To which I reply, "If that is so, you should have not asked me". Your response is gold also. Never ask a question in response to them insulting you, like " why then are you asking me if I'm ...this or that?" That will give them fuel to keep the conversation going. Don't ask them questions, just state the obvious. Takes the wind out of their sails. They can blather on, you don't have to listen to it.
I so wish I had seen your reply the other day when my character was attacked by my family member for not bending to what they wanted… it’s such a perfect reply!!!
What an excellent description of the narcissist's "acute observation" like they're casing the joint. Spot on, Dr Ramani. That's exactly what they're doing, because they are preparing to come bleed it (us!) dry, and take everything of value they can, and use it for their own means.
There will soon come a time when anyone dealing with someone like this will become indifferent. I’m almost there in my own divorce and the number one recommendation I have for anyone dealing with someone like this is trust your voice and fortify your boundaries. Make your boundaries Fort f’ing Knox
Ahh Dr Ramani, you are right again. My ex narc was arrogant and grandiose enough to promise what was ever going to happen wasn't anything to do with me. He should have been an actor. There was little 18 year old me sharing my dreams with this man who lied and lied and lied and lied to me for our entire relationship.
Thank you so much Dr.❤❤ You are a lighthouse in ocean filled with narcissists........a lot of respect and love ❤❤❤
If you're lucky enough to have two loving, normal, decent parents who are firm but fair with discipline. You'll grow up to love and respect yourself and be able to recognize whether it's real or fake LOVE!
Yeah, don’t we all wish we had that.
Elementary Dr Ramani! That’s when I quit sharing deep secrets. Ty to the therapist in our world. I spill it out!! Yep they set u up. The issue is they add lies to the story or don’t give the full story or just out and out lie about the whole thing. Ty
This video reminded me of something I read recently-have you ever heard of 'The Irresistible Seduction Formula' by Olivia Simmons? That book is so transformative, it's a life changer.
Thanks for sharing
Love is just a word. Show me with actions
True very true
Every single manipulation tactic all but implies the use of the lying tactic and the gaslighting tactic. I actually dislike it a little calling out gaslighting as a manipulation tactic as it's actually an effect. All manipulation tactics will contribute to it by nature of what manipulation is. Some tactics however certainly take the gaslighting effect to a whole different level. Blatant lies that are so bad they insult your intelligence is one of them. That kind of shit will make you feel like you are in the twilight zone after a while. Here are some of the reasons they do this: To test their control. To feel superior and/or entertainment. This proves to themselves how much control they have over you. In the end, you will give up and you will not leave (trauma bonded). In the process of getting to the giving up stage, you will go through some pretty nasty emotional states ending in massive amounts of cognitive dissonance to swallow all of that.
Cognitive dissonance is a trauma defense mechanism where you essentially lie to yourself in various ways so that you can bring back some semblance of equilibrium to the insanity you find yourself unable to escape from. As part of the ‘backing you into an emotional corner’ tactic. This is a tactic where you are manipulated into being emotionally unstable inevitably leading to you losing your shit. This gives the narcissist a big dopamine burst, they feel powerful and superior having so deftly controlled you and manipulated into this emotional state. To finish the little game they play, they make sure to point out how unhinged and unstable you are and suggest that perhaps you need help or medication. Of course, you will internalize all that shame and guilt and the million other raging emotions they have created and swallow all that essentially allowing them to scapegoat their blame and accountability onto you. Bring on some more cognitive dissonance and gaslighting effects.
To condition you to expect less respect, and ultimately put up with more abuse. You will tire of the inevitable circular argument trying to convince the narcissist of the blatantly obvious lie and eventually find yourself challenging them less and less as you subconsciously accept the fact that if you do it will just make your life and emotional state more miserable and you will be denied the satisfaction of any kind of ‘win’ even if it is easy to disprove. This is part of the domination process and makes sure all the power in the relationship ends up with them by the end. To turn your mind to mush as the gaslighting effect takes hold more and more over time. This makes you even easier to control.
Many times while easy to disprove it requires some kind of concession of some obvious truth that the narcissist can just doggedly refuse to agree with or remember (‘the intentional forgetting’ tactic and the ‘feigned confusion or ignorance’ tactics are often employed for this). So, in fact, it is not so easy to prove when the narcissist refuses to correctly remember what happened 10 min ago or accept sound logic or reasoning. You will just turn blue in the face trying. Of course, in some cases it is indisputable. A phone log or something. My experience is when this kind of stuff happens it wasn’t their intention typically, although sometimes it was.
But in these scenarios, you will typically get some sort of angry ‘invalidating’ tactic, with some good old ‘manufactured rage’ and ‘intimidation’ tactics to ‘put you on the defensive’ and get you more susceptible to further manipulation. Maybe something like: “Get over yourself already” followed up by some ‘blame-shifting’ tactics with some good old ‘guilt’ and ‘shame’ tactics, like “Why the hell are you spying on my phone records anyway? What kind of relationship is this? I don’t have any privacy? I don’t know if I can do this anymore! You have major jealousy issues! You need help!” You will walk away as the loser either way. There are resistance tactics that can be used but this is a very difficult tactic to deal with and it is one of their favorites. I won’t get into the counter-tactics here though. The only way to really win in a relationship with a narcissist is to leave them and go no contact.
Additionally, If you suspect cheating or other forms of manipulation and need to gather evidence for your own peace of mind, you may consider reaching out for assistance. For more information, you can contact: MetaspyHub@gmail. com.
Narcissists slyly use the word " Love" to Draw us In to their Web, then Find Out what is Most Important to us, which they Then deliberately use as Weapons against us ! Thank God for Dr. Ramani and her remarkable ability to articulate the complex, confusing matrix of how narcissists work
Narcissists love to hear the sound of their own voice. After seeing through their mask, any b.s./nonsense spewing out of their mouth is just 'white noise'. Like a humming light fixture that's a constant annoyance that doesn't stop. Options... a.) put up with it... b) try and fix it yourself (good luck)....c) remove it altogether and enjoy the peace and quiet again.
Well said
0:36 There had been a smear campaign against me on social media started by this woman because she was jealous that a man she liked was interested in me and not her. She spread rumors I was a catfish, I had a stable of men, and also - that I was a man. Many months later, I had dirt on her and my narc boyfriend at the time was like, "do it, spread that info about her, you know you want to, do it, do it, do to her what she did to you, etc." I swear I felt like I had the devil on my shoulder. I felt like I was being tested. I didn't do it. Concerning they have an issue with you being a stick in the mud - he broke up with me "because there were too many times I told him no when he wanted something."
🙋🏾♀️ and then they acted like they had nothing to do with it. That was my mother.
Narcissistic abuse is like being projectile vomitted on everyday while carrying their bags thru the airport to board a round trip to hell
My ex husband used to want me to go out in public half naked to fit in with his "bike culture"....he liked me to act a certain way, which stroked his ego about being with a "hot chick"...I would obviously draw looks and comments from men, which he then couldn't deal with and then turned it back around on me....I never flirted with these people and kept to myself... yet he would accuse me of doing this to draw attention to myself and trying to pick up men. It got to the point to.where when we would go out I would only stare at the floor to which he would start a fight because I was no long "Fun"....as we all know with a narcissist....YOU CAN'T WIN
Did you ever tell him you were uncomfortable hanging out of your clothes and that you didn't like the stares and comments from other men? My guess it would cause a fight, but just wondered.
You're so right you can't win with a narcissist! I'm very sorry he did those things to you made you do those things and how uncomfortable it made you feel. It's not your fault. Hope you can get some closure, dear.
My husband is described as a Covert Narcissist. He uses basic maneuvers.
He knows I’m enrolled in programs to change my reactions.
At first he thought he would benefit from it. He seriously thinks I’m the problem. He can’t see the forest from the trees.
Now I clearly see he initiates the arguments.
Now this is what he does:
I called him while he’s at his mother’s. I informed him his mom’s car part was delivered.
I reminded him this morning I need my haircut. I mentioned that over a month ago..
So now I asked him why did he need to be at his mom’s. He answered, her car’s broken down, and she needs me to take her to pay bills.
I said oh yes that’s right she just got paid. Then I said that wasn’t obvious to me because I’ve paid bills on line. I said my mistake.
I had that ..Dah moment.. then I asked in a calm manner,
Does your mom know how to pay bills on line? He yelled and said you are attacking my mom. What are you saying my mom’s dumb he was going on & on.. at first I reverted to my pattern behavior and tried to say you interrupted me I wanted to ask if she wanted me to show her how to pay bills on line.. You all know that’s way too many words for him to stop and listen.. he had another argument.. I tried to verbally set a boundary.. my brain knew that wasn’t happening.. my reaction instead was I disconnected the call..
It does seem to me that he does do things more intentionally..
I just now realized I am seeing it crystal clear now.
Oh my, I didn’t realize how my intuition was so suppressed related to my interpretation of my husband’s behavior. 😮
I am aware since I’m growing he’s becoming more insecure.
I’m also aware he was playing games with a naive little girl in a woman’s body. I’m not putting myself down essentially that’s true about our marriage. I know I have a RN Degree. I did struggle with that too. Nurses may care about their client’s life support, which there are some that do Nursing to feel powerful. So unless you’re part of the fly monkey team, you’ll get thrown under the bus. That definitely helped my husband when I believed it even more, that I was the consistent factor.
Now he feels more helpless and victimized than ever. No wonder he called me a Narcissist. I must be finally setting those boundaries and focusing on myself care. I did start meditating consistently about 8 months ago. And I started practicing Yoga about a month ago.
Here’s the punch line. I met him when he turned 18. He looked as if he was in his early 20’s. We met in College.
I have been watching Dr. Ramani since 2019. So the acceptance stage has been met. The grief stages have passed. So now I need to remove myself. No wonder my husband feels like I don’t have any feelings. I don’t have any feelings for him. It’s like he’s with an Acquaintance.
Take care ladies. 🌻
Just an "F.y.i." very high number of 'children of alchoholics' in the nursing and veterinary world. So, be aware ! Lots of toxic behavior behind the caring facade ! (I worked in Vet world for a number of years).
Best of luck on your new life !
Thanks for a valuable series about narcs. This one is very informative and really made me think and ponder. Stuff discussed here is really serious and grave, one cannot listen to it with a light heart, especially after you have some experiences with those hellish creatures.
The most infuriating narcissistic comment is “I’ll take care of it” what this actually means is I will do nothing about this especially because you want it!
💯 ❤😢❤
@ or change it, go around or over it , discover that the results are better less the narcissistic chaos 🤔🤗🫢
@@acasyd Someone that never cared about you made ONE comment, that being - "I'll take care of it", and probably never cared or tried to fix whatever the issue was and then this comment to you, from now on, means "I will do nothing about it especially because you want it"?
That sound like a YOU problem and your solipsism.
They are waiting for only you to deliver. They will hold on because you might have something they could benefit from.
They would offer you the van life but benefit from your future so they won't let go.
Im grateful for you and all you do to raise awareness, Dr Ramini 🌹
The manipulation that you talked about such as "you're such a prude" was used against me when my mother was out sleeping around with others and it got me in trouble with kids at school. Other kids would say things to me about my mother's behavior , as if "I" was responsible for her behavior. I would complain and that's what she'd say, You're such a prude, you never want me to have any fun.( I was 10 yrs old at the time ,BTW). My mother evened the score with me through sexual abuse so I couldn't say anything about her behavior anymore. She pushed me into a sexual relationship when I was 13 so I could produce a child , since she couldn't herself ( she had her tubes tied the previous year) with the same man she herself was sleeping with. My own mother sacrificed my virginity to her boyfriend in order to produce a child she couldn't have herself and to please a man who was willing to sleep with a child for" kicks". Narcissistic abuse by a sexual predator is bad enough but when it is your own mother it is the worst kind of shame you can imagine. For context I am a female to male transgendered person so at the time this was happening I was a female child.
Compassion to you…no one deserves to be treated that way.
That's so horrible 💔 Keep your head up & surround yourself with positivity ALWAYS.. we can't choose our family but we can choose our circle as adults & still have a beautiful life. *Virtual hug ❤
Im so sorry that she is such a nightmare and I feel for you
My mother send me to an abuser as well
You are seen
You are loved
My heart goes to you
That's so horrible! sorry that happened to you dear!
That's so horrible! I'm very sorry that happened to you!
How is it that we expect to run a society without understanding psychology? Thank you so much! 👍❤
wow - this video hit home for me so strongly. Love as a concept is manipulated by narcissists so badly.
I could not have seen this 5 years ago when I started learning about narcissism so I could free myself from the effects of the abuse. The work lies - as you say - in getting to know one’s own self.
I am grateful for professionals such as you, Dr Ramani, for teaching these concepts.
Sometime in the future, this behaviour will be considered criminal. Wasting years,months or weeks of someone's life on a deep fake existence. Imagine what we could have accomplished with that time if the other person had good intentions towards us and treated us with genuine love and care?
Yep. They are users and takers.
Pay attention to back handed compliments. I watched sister in law just expose her self so much that her actions revealed hidden secrets she thought would stay buried. Body language reveals the real internal struggles.
I’m not ‘ ATTENTION SEEKING’ person, I’m very ordinary person who lived to help his family.
This Desert is Full of these " frenemies" and I got PLAYED for Years by their Pretended ' Concern ' all those invasive phone calls, acting like they were on the same page with my social concerns starting their initial phone conversations with " hi How Are you ?" ( code for " are you available to my Con ?" ) or "Hi, How are things going ?" Which is code for ( are you avaliable for my Co job today ?" ). Etcetera, etcetera, EtCetera . Once it Finally Dawned on me that that's what these invasive phone calls were all about, I literally QUIT answering my phone to these people, avoided them like the plague in town, and steered Clear of them in common social settings. Then it got back to me through grapevine concerned parties, that often there was a Smear Campaign, engendered by these Very Same Pretended ' Concern' Invasive Callers. Social Predators that get royally Pissed off when their intended Targets put up and defend boundaries to protect themselves and their lived ones from social predator abuse. WOW ! What a Mindbender
My Ex-husband comes from an incredibly large family (he literally had 15 siblings and parents married til one passed). Upon reconnecting with him…carefully…I’ve learned that many of his siblings have divorced-remarried-and divorced again. They ALWAYS blame the non-family spouse as the problem. And anytime I observe and mention this…it is a sore spot for my Ex-husband. I stated…there are 2 sides to every story and even if the non-family Ex contributed to the demise of those relationships - your family members might want to look at the partners they’re picking because perhaps their “picker” is broken. It was a very difficult message for him to receive. And for this reason I refuse to become enmeshed in this toxic family system again!! His need for Narcissistic Supply screams WORSHIP THIS FAMILY and this 57 year old man still believes “it’s family (the one he was born into) over everything”.
...sometimes the narcissist/toxic person/s may go to any length/s just to eliminate the 'perceived threat', and it might take ages to even figure that theory/strategy, scary😳and sad😔 indeed, isn't it...many thanks Dr. Ramani as always🙏🌷🕊💝🤗
My Nsrc Ex once said to me "I'll get you a bottle of Wine because then I'll feel better about drinking". I had told him time and time again that I was giving Alchohol up and because of that he'd have a go at me for being boring. Nine out of ten times I stuck to my guns about it, but he'd blatantly ignore me. So he'd get a bottle and put it on the table "just in case you change your mind" he'd say; when our relationship started to go South again, the stress would cause me to weaken and have the bottle. Then he'd blame anything I had to say as "I see you've had a drink again" and dismiss my words or just discard me. It's clear to see now that his emotionality behind getting the Wine was to manipulate me and put himself in a position whilst blaming it all on me, so he could dump me. 🍒
Thank you, Dr. Ramani. I know it may be strange, but if you'll make a video of how love should feel and what it is, I'll really appreciate it. I grew up with two parents who had narcissist traits and a few siblings with the same problem. I'm no contact with them, and I'm not sure if I actually ever knew what love is and how it feels. I would appreciate to have a detailed description and explanation of how love feels, when I love someone, and when someone loves me.
Thankyou for your insights. It all makes sense. Btw love the dress your wearing.you look so pretty!
Thank you Dr. Ramani. That's I have learned to do is disengage, distance and not personalize narcissistic behaviors. There are times I even play their game against them and speak boldly in their present. Even if it is at my own expense, I feel it is worth it. 🙏💗💗💗💗💗
It started on the first date when he told me my parents had no right to impose a curfew. It continued thru 21 years of hell. I became a people pleaser to survive, not myself at all!
The things you describe, the words they say are gaslighting in and of themselves because the behaviors that they are deflecting are anything, but loving or “love”
Absolutely tremendous DR Ramani, Thank you so much for this, Very insightful, Speaks volumes, We saw we heard we ignored you, I'm not allowing you to gaslight, Manipulate and distort reality :-) :-) :-) I know the Truth, I'm right about these two, I see right through them and everything :-) Peace, love and respect to you DR Ramani and everyone, Thank you universe, All glory power and praise and smile's to the most high :-) Winning :-)
It's interesting to me that you encourage the actual qualitative aspects of love. I did not accept the argument that i should give "unconditional love" in my relationship, an idea that was supported by the counselor we were seeing. In retrospect, all of my instinctive reactions were correct and saved me from being hopelessly manipulated. I don't think I am invulnerable or a different person now, but I survived. I have always had a strong sense of self and I am still that person.
I’m not lying myself so I lied who are living with lies. No one has the right to choose my destination.
I’m confident in my ability!!!!
Whatever it is I’m waiting for someone who demonstrates about me? I’m feeling better about myself.
34:20 You know best, Doctor Ramani!
The worst thing he tried to pressure me to do (besides steal) was to climb onto a train. Thankfully I did not do it because the train was running and could have taken off with us on its roof... it would not have been good. I would rather be "no fun" but alive. I know for sure that he would use the "you're one to talk" if I told him it was wrong.
Thats a great video and thanks heaps for letting people know about this topic ❤
17:00 on “Love”: I have to admit, the twisted part of me is actually envious of people who have been told “I love you” by their narcissist. I have been involved in 3 major intimate relationships in my life, all 3 narcissistic abusers - most recently a 7-year marriage to a man who was a vulnerable narcissist who morphed into a malignant one with coercive control, financial abuse, physical abuse, even sexual abuse. Here is the thing: Not one of these men ever told me they loved me…not even once! Not even on my wedding day! I know how awful this must seem, but I feel like I am being punched in the stomach as I listen to the stories of “I love you” being used to escape the blame for bad behavior. My narcissists never even did THAT! What is wrong with me that no one has ever loved me or even just SAID it for affect? I must be pretty terrible if no one’s ever even PRETENDED to love me, right? 😔
What i want to know is what percentage of people go through these types of relationships.i feel its a lot more common than we think.its devastating. Especially when family is involved.its scary when u think about it.the people who claim to love you the most are doing the most damage.
I think currently the stats say 1 in 6 people are on the spectrum of narcissism... so a lot of people are touched by these relationships and when you get to the point in your healing that you start seeing the larger societal things going on, you start 2 see that most people are in a narc relationship with their government, with their jobs, with their churches etc. and all 9f the sudden the rates of depression, addiction, suicide, DV & child abuse start to make sense 😳😳😳
I knew who I was by the time I was 18, but years of living with ana buser takes its toll.
My ex threw things all the time when he was in rage, including tables and chairs and TV and even his son’s bowl which was in use right at the moment, which made his son so terrified and had a fever the same night. However, when one time when I was so frustrated with him and threw a pillow to the ground, he caught it! Ever since he kept mentioning about my bad act of throwing things😅😅😅
Fantastic video My five-year relationship ended a month ago. The decision to part ways with the love of my life is something that truly consumes me. Though it's all in vain, I've tried everything to get him back, and I can't fathom my life with anyone else. Even though I've made every effort to quit thinking about him, I can't help but miss him and can't stop thinking about him. Why I am stating this here is beyond me.
So that I can tell you that you are in love with a phantom. You love the picture you made of the other person.
@oOIIIMIIIOo I agree. They fell in love with the charming "facade". If that is no longer there - it is a mask to trick you to stay.
5 years is not bad. You have learned your lesson, I hope. Journaling. Walks in nature. Get curious as to WHY they "hooked" you !? (That is your 'Achilles heel' !).
Stop throwing pearls before swine !
I look for the one dominating the conversation
i feel like i have to dominate the convo in order for anything to be talked about . he never talks to me abt rly anything
??? Dr. Ramani, can you do a getting through the Holidays with Narcissists please? 🎄🙏💜
The victim is always who takes the responsibility for the bad doings of those personality disorders.
Family courts are the biggest fraud that supports that kind of bullying.
A typical scenario of a narcissistic personality disorder behaving legally fraudulent and the lawyers, after doing nothing to protect the rights of the victim, coming up with a statement such as “It is the fault of the victim because the victim of narcissistic abuse has chosen this personality disorder as a life partner” 😂
I was in a deep state of bliss and self compassion when pursued by a narcissistic sociopath “romantic” stalker. I had direct correspondence with this person a handful of times over a decade. Manipulation and smear campaigns distanced me from my professional community and I avoided reaching out to close friends because seeing them participate in the false reality (rather than being with them the way I remembered) compounded the loss and heartbreak.
My point is you can lose everything healthy and supportive even by proxy to a narcissistic sociopath.
I was full of joy and belonging at a time in my life when I was shamed and humiliated for my age. Personally, I felt like things were happening just in time. Having my own narrative does nothing to diffuse false narratives perpetuated by friends, acquaintances, and even clerks, judges, police, and institutions.
The only relief comes from other emotionally intelligent beings, sometimes a librarian, or a singer, or a farmer, people who have no power to right the wrongs in any immediate or definitive way.
He convinced me to swing... Months later, I got pregnant. He denied being the father.... He even moved halfway across the country. He Refused to help financially and caused as many problems as possible.
I know well those FAKE people and also FAKE shoes and clothes.
I never met a human I loved as much as myself! I only loved other that were helpful, I didn’t love them as a person! Truth hurts! I would rather be honest
I CHOSE TO LIVE NARC FREE ZONE.
There is a possibility better than narc. This is time is different for those who betrayed themselves.
I learn from peoples living under mask. Also, I learn more…
The wolf…..!
The Glass Castle is such a great example of future faking
I wish you would do a video on same sex narcissistic relationships. After 12 years with this thing, I had to leave and go no contact. I have had zero contact for 15 months and it has been a game changer. I am in trauma therapy for CPTSD and it’s working. This thing has traits of overt, covert, very neglectful and slightly malignant. I wouldn’t wish her on my worst enemy. I’m confused about whether my attachment style is becoming more secure or if I am becoming avoidant because I still don’t want to be around people after 15 months. The only thing I do outside of work is going to mass and catechism on Sunday. I trust no one.
It's terrible to progress when the abuser does everything they possibly can to cause interruption in everything I do. What do.i do here? I don't know who.it is. I've thought about going to a domestic violence shelter but I actually have a very good job but stuck in the cycle of domestic abuse. Trying my best each and every day. I do pray for a silent corrective action to the wrongdoers.
Or the narcissist gets out in front of you by telling everyone around you that YOU are the narcissist!
Narc knows that they are future faking with no good intention whatsoever. I used to have a boss like this. He sensed I got his number so he began to gaslight me- oh, I don't mean any offence, but you have this funny way of behaving, etc. BS.
Good thing I didnt fall for any tricks or traps of the enemy when I was roaming...I myself won, gg....lol
I'm a textbook narcissist. I ruined a lot of lives by breaking everyone's happiness.
Your videos for narcissist victims are great. Is there any hope for narcissists who truly want to change and grow?
Pimp love, good luck with that
Hi dr ramani
My name is Jasmine and I have just come out of the worst emotional narcissist relationship you can imagine and been that woman you talking about right now, was forced to divorce my soul mate but I can prove my husband wasn’t at fault and with him by my side! It was
Learnt behaviour from parents but I have my family back and I will come on your show and prove! If I can just remove his parents from his life and get my eldest believing mummy is always right!
Please your now saying things that u need help to understand pls can I come on and help!
I am not the kind of person to ever be able to comment let alone be able to come on a show!
I forgot to say I wouldn’t of been able to work it out without listening to u on my time walks
Regards Jasmine x
I’m very and very sharp!!!!
I think they know they just figure they can fake that too!
Number 1 rule: You can't win
✝️✝️ $45k biweekly changed my mindset and behavior, my goals, my family and I've to say this video has inspired me a lot!!!!❤️
I'm feeling really motivated.
Could you share some details about the bi-weekly topic you brought up?.....................
I raised 75k and Maria Luisa Clare is to be thanked. I got my self my dream car 🚗 just last weekend, My journey with her started after my best friend came back from New York and saw me suffering in dept then told me about her and how to change my life through her. Maria L. Clare is the kind of person one needs in his or her life! I got a home, a good wife, and a beautiful daughter. Note!:: this is not a promotion but me trying to make a point that no matter what happens, always have faith and keep living!!
Wow 😱 I know her too!
Miss Maria Luisa Clare is a remarkable individual whom has brought immense positivity and inspiration into my life.
I started with a miserly $1500. The results have been mind blowing I must say TBH
Ughhhh does anyone have a list or some exercises to help us figure out who is and isn’t?!? The good actors are out there.
🙏🏼Just in Time🦃🙏🏼💗
I’m not ashamed on me but I felt shame on for participants. I’m enjoyed their doings.
I wonder what will happen if narcissist against narcissist, are they using less manipulation or more manipulation?
I tend to find that most narcissists actually get along, because they use their tactics together on other people.
I’m living with my principles but not expecting acceptance from others. I’m not studying other but I was studied by narcissist!!!
I can count their names…?
It's a cop out for people
My wife will say things to me that belittles me and other comments when we are not getting along and i am constantly asking what i have done or why is she so angry, she makes snarky comments such as “This is why i don’t invite my friends and family over”. So i will say to her so is it my fault? then she goes ballistic and says “i never said it was your fault!!!!! Can someone tell me i am not going insane? Then she says things like she is not responsible for my feelings. wait what? Am i going insane or is she turning the script on me? I really would like a answer on what this is. Everything i say is my own stinking thinking to her and i feel like maybe i am the crazy one.
My ex boyfriend did nothing but brag about himself
Love your channel, Dr.Ramani. Lately and unfortunately, some are using your comments section to promote their weekly wealth incomes of $10,000 plus. I even saw someone who claimed $114,000 regularly every month. It may very well be, but this is NOT the platform for shameless self-promotion or whatever.
I find these comments extremely inappropriate and suspicious.
Love you, though! Take good care. ❤
It might be fun.
Parents boat Name Luv a Luv. Drop ⚓ in a secluded cove & berate me at 16 non-stop about anything & everything. Next year drugged throw in mental hospital because I had a job & then mom stayed home from boating. Told by Dr. Barns that I'm the family scapegoat. Hell on earth when they pounced again 1977 to 2007. In laws too boat Name Wiki Wiki. Snowed In.
They pro expert at making u feel they can trust you. They the ones with the I'll intent. And prey on good people who would never do those evil things , they do good, so don't think others would to them
What do they fear the most?
I need your help to help everyone please
Bingo