This scared me to hear. I survived Narcissists my whole life, walked away from two of them, stood alone when everyone thought I was in the wrong. I still get PTSD. Thanks so much for this tho.❤
Have you watched Kristin’s reality show with her ex husband Jay! She CONSTANTLY belittles him, then smirks when she sees him getting upset. But if he gives her a taste of her own medicine and makes fun of her, all hell breaks lose and she goes into revenge mode. I’d say she’s the narcissist
So sorry to anyone who had to live through that nightmare with a narcissist. You didn't deserve it. At all. Ultimately you just have to see them as sick, and very, very limited and just stop internalizing the bullshit they spew at you. Like the therapist said: gray rock for as long as you have to before cutting ties. You're nobody's scapegoat.
I have cried throughout this whole video...I hate that my mom is narcissistic and I'm trying so hard to find a way to live again. I had eating disorders as a teenager and this was an eye opener... thank you for this...I also had an abusive narcissistic relationship. It's a reality check I needed. Whatever advice going forward I would love, I'm in a good safe place now... thank you again
I can understand you perfectly. We have similar situations. So sad how the majority of my life I believed it to be mostly me. I never knew it had a name until like 2017! I always thought narcissists were just people who were obsessed with their own beauty lol. I do feel so alone in this. Noone understands it.
I can’t tell you how many times I got full body chills listening to this. Thank you so much, Kristin for bringing her on. This conversation was so important for me to hear. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!
THIS CONVO WAS EVERYTHING!!!! My parents were both narcissists (different levels/severities/presentations, but still) so this hits home DOUBLY-DEEPLY!!! Thank you both!
This has helped me feel so good for being on my journey of cutting my mom out life !! I needed to hear that I’m not alone and I’m not an ungrateful child
I want to thank you SO MUCH for having her on your Podcast! Such a wonderful episode and so educational. I am so happy she was able to transform her trauma as a way to help others.
This podcast spoke to me more than anything else I've ever listened to! My dad wasn't a narcissist. Far from it...the farthest thing from it . But can relate so much to everything said here not relating to my dad but def relating to family and relationships. Thank you so much for this. For being so vulnerable and honest. Means alot
THANK YOU FOR THIS. I need to listen to this 3+ more times. The validation and knowing I’m not completely insane is such an enormous relief. I’m so tired. This gives me some life. Greatly appreciated. Would love to have a follow up episode to this with a Q&A opportunity. Thanks for being so open in this conversation.
I’ve read and listened to a lot of content on narcissism…this is one of the best podcast episodes I’ve heard! It really resonated with me at a whole other level! Thank you for this!
Hugely eye opening. I didn’t know I needed this. The part where she said her boyfriend put in the work and didn’t make it feel like work because she always was made to feel like a burden and no one made loving her feel effortless.. that hit me so hard. I have been made to feel like a burden so much that I now believe that it is a burden to love me or know me. It’s made me terrified as a mom because I fear the day my kids realize I’m a burden and they will leave too. I didn’t realize narcissism came in so many packages. It’s opened my eyes to so much. I definitely have to find a therapist.
Feeling stuck is the worst, especially in a romantic relationship. Not to mention the wrath we will receive when we do leave, can be down right terrifying ..
My mother is a covert narcissist. And I just got out of a four-year relationship with an emotionally and physically, abusive narcissist. I’m wondering what I can do to change or what I need to do to stop attracting these people in my life. I want to be surrounded by kind, honest, and loyal people. But how do you manifest that when you keep counting narcissist? How do you break the cycle?
@@HH-gv8mxwhat is your faith? I only ask this because dealing with this type of abuse brought me full circle with my relationship with God, Christ consciousness, my “higher self”, etc. I HAD TO in order to preserve my sanity. It’s helped me so much. I’ve done the therapy, journaling, letters never sent, random cursing throughout the day at these people, etc. Prayer has been the most solid moments of my day to bring me back to center and know I’m worthy of a good life. That I’m a good-hearted and pure-natured person (even with the angry thoughts). That I’ll do anything to show up for the people I love. But would they do the same? You’ll repeat the cycle until you’re dead or until you’re SO pissed off that your tolerance for nonsense, or even the slightest display of disrespect, is unbearable and unacceptable. Food for thought. Hope this helps 💛
It's so important for people to hear these stories. I've seen people bring narcissists into their lives/families and they have trapped them in a gilded cage while tearing their family completely apart. It's so hard to see and feel like you can't do anything to truly help unless they decide to leave that person. But when there is a financial aspect (which lots of narcissists use to control people) it makes it so difficult to leave. If you see any red flags please run.
An absolutely fascinating discussion.. having been in a relationship with a narcissist, it took 18 months for me to realize what was and had been happening. I feel like I'm still healing from that relationship 3 years later! All the ups and downs he put me through.. And now I can spot the signs immediately. But I've always wondered if they knew what they were doing.. hoped and prayed they had no idea.. just wow. Kristin, please keep Dr. Campbell on speed dial!!
I just got out of a four-year relationship with an emotionally and verbally abusive narcissist. My mother is also a covert narcissist. The key now is try and identify what is it in me that attracts these people? I’m afraid of getting into another relationship because you think you can spot them… But really you can’t until you’re already in it.
@@HH-gv8mx ah! so proud of you - i hope you're proud too! just remember to be kind to yourself, and to give yourself grace. there were so many times in the weeks and months that followed where i'd asked myself "how did you not see X, Y and Z?" .. love a lesson learned the hard way! ugh aha
I really enjoyed this podcast! I am a 26 year old who has two narcissistic abusive parents. When I was 21 I began therapy. My mom and dad divorced when I was around 5 years old. I cut my mom out when I was 12 years old. My dad and I went against the parenting plan but my mom was so out of her mind (potentially borderline) that nothing was done about it. I have been through absolute hell. My father lacked emotions and was very neglectful but provided for me. I could go on and on about my childhood, I want to write a book as well… but I am commenting mainly to talk about what I have done to try and “heal”. I think it is true, you don’t fully heal. What’s happened has happen and it cannot be undone. However we can become more healthy and aware. We can become more empathetic. I am still not sure if I can have a healthy romantic relationship with someone. So far I have had unhealthy romantic relationships starting young. I have gone through 3 years of talk therapy as an adult. 3 rounds of dialectical behavioral therapy. I’ve had a substance abuse counselor because I self medicated started young. Also, when I was 24 I did ketamine therapy. I want to say that I was a very suicidal person who would dwell. I have been diagnosed with PTSD and I have obsessive compulsive like tendencies. The ketamine therapy did not fully heal me, but it helped my brain in various ways. It helped me gain perspective and see my life in a different light. I began having suicidal ideation when I was 10 and it continued on until I did ketamine therapy. Ketamine was my last resort because if I was always going to be a suicidal person, I did not want to continue on. I did 6 infusions over a one month span in a therapeutic office with two therapists. It did change my life and the way I think about things. I still have PTSD with obsessive compulsive tendencies. I still have shitty parents. But I see a lot of things differently. I am very grateful for all the therapies I have done and listed and I would be open to more. The story goes on but I felt I would share. Also randomly, I really enjoy watching reality tv shows and one tree hill. These shows really provided me with some good entertainment as a kid and I have turned out good lol.
First 5 minutes...I thought the discussion was about my mom. She described my mom to a tee! Thank you Kristin for sharing Sherrie Campbell with me. It's a very toxic relationship with my mom....she is always playing the victim. Please continue to bring hard core topics like this....as well as those fun ones about your dating journal and answering questions from your fans.
I was hurt by a narcissistic sister in law that used to be my best friend. To answer the question of whether narcissists know what they are doing, I think both Kristin and Sherrie are right. I think that sometimes narcissists do not know what they are doing in regards to their words or actions hurting someone else. I think because they lack empathy they don't experience feelings like normal people and they truly do not realize what hurts someone sometimes. However, when it comes to manipulation, they know exactly what they are doing. They are experts at twisting a situation to either make them come out on top or developing a narrative to make them appear to be the ultimate victim.
Let me slide this in on advice about recognizing a narcissist romantically..listen to how they speak about other people. Family members, exes, enemies, friends,etc. Pay attention to that. Goals they have and how they speak about themselves. Edit: Also the biggest way to avoid the "cycle" and not get sucked into another narcissistic relationship is check YOUR EGO. Your ego is how they hurt you, get you, and keep you. Be real about you with you. Do the work that the narc is afraid to do for themselves. Once they cant hurt you or affect you they will leave you alone. Its a deeper form of grey rocking. Dont just not respond try to figure out what they are latching onto in you and you deal with it. Get rid of narcs in your life forever. Edit: Last thing narc famillies hate truth. As the scapegoat you are pointing out the ugly truth about your family and they hate you for that. You refuse to play your role and you are ruining everything. No one is all innocent so of course they may feel some things about you. You may be toxic as well but they will never have a REAL convo with you they rather lash out at you. I am past my cutting off phase. I healed and now I want to return with the better me and manage these relationships with new perspective. Family estrangement is hard and especially when you have kids. So to anyone please definitely take time to get well and if no contact is necessary do it. But for those who have a slimmer of possibility of some type of contact build your boundaries and work on you. Try to forge your own identity in your family unit. Im going low contact and high boundaries. This is after going no contact for years.
This was an amazing podcast. It helped me to understand narcistic behavior. My parents don't have these characteristics, but a close family member does. Every characteristic you described makes sense and I hope that setting boundaries with this person will help me to not provide them with the dysfunctional satisfaction they crave. Now, I know I am not the problem and not to continue to fight for the unconditional affection. Kristin, thank you for this episode.
Hi Kristin, I stumbled onto this interview with Dr. Sherrie Campbell (although I do not believe in accidents ~ I feel it was Devine Intervention). I have lived in Laguna Beach since 1976, and I am about 15 years older than Dr. Campbell, and had similar problems in my Therapeutic Treatment because back then Labels were not as available as today to help identify problems. However, I do recall my HS Counselor stating “You may be the identified Patient, however you are not the cause of the core issue, just a symptom of it” (and most Narcissists will never seek treatment because they are in denial). Therefore, it was decades later that I was diagnosed with C-PTSD, and my Father labeled the Narcissist in my Family. *Note: I do recall being around age 8, and being told “You are responsible for destroying our Family”. All I could think was: How can a Child have so much power to “destroy the Family” when there are two grown adults that are supposed to be in charge of parenting? Anyway, since I turned 18 and moved out of my parents house, I have spent every disposable dollar I earned in Therapy. I have had good, bad, and in-between Therapists on a weekly basis for 4.5 Decades ~ Tried all different kinds of therapeutic styles and techniques..In the past 4 years, I have been involved with EMDR Therapy, which I have found very helpful for my life of serial violence and victimizations. Although I have never felt better, I still do not feel well, nor capable of a healthy relationship. Question: What am I missing? Any ideas or suggestions you can offer for better results? A particular type of Therapy or referral to a specific Therapist in South Orange County, California (near your former hometown)? Any help you can offer would be sincerely appreciated.
All of this resonated so much for me. My dad and stepmom are both narcissists. This was very validating, thank you both so much for discussing this topic!
Oh goodness this video is exactly what I needed! You guys both shared some really great info! I related from the start of the video. My ex is a covert narc. Sadly I still have to “co-parent” with him. Or in this case, Parallel Parenting. He uses our child to get my emotional reactions. He even goes so far as to smear me to my own child. It’s disgusting!! Run away from this demonic people and never look back!!
This conversation was so sincere and so profound! I can’t thank you enough! The knowledge I have in back pocket now is my ticket to freedom! Mad respect to u both, love you, and God bless you guys!!!
I dated a diagnosed narcissist (wasn’t aware until the end of the relationship) and what stands out to me was that early on, he tried to find out all my insecurities in such a way you don’t realize you’re giving up all your secrets. This information was then used to idealize me at first and then to devalue me and became his excuse for discarding me. My advice is never give someone your secrets about meaning what you wouldn’t tell someone you don’t know, be an onion. Don’t tell them your insecurities and deep issues, they’re not your therapist. If they ask too many deep questions early on that make you feel uncomfortable, no matter how sincere it comes across, this is a HUGE red flag, something is off about them. Trust your guy because it’s always right.
Thank you for this episode! So powerful! I have went through this with my ex husband. It’s always great listening and learning more about Narcissists abuse and educating myself more. I’m thankful for therapy and working through this but it takes years I believe. It’s wild how much damage they can do and you don’t know for a long time.
"Give yourself 18 months"...? Hell no. I've dated two narcissists in the last year and one them showed their true colors 2 weeks in, the other after a few months (and there were signs all along). Bottom line, our intuition is the best tool. Never settle. ❤ Great episode!
She’s saying some are really good at hiding their true self for a long time. It could be weeks, months and sometimes years. It all depends on how long they can stay behind the mask.
Loved this podcast! The father of my kids was/is a narcissist. Took me 7 years to get out. I have two kids with him who are now adults and my 20 year old son is him. It’s horrible. Trying to navigate it because our relationship has turned toxic because of his behaviors. I’m struggling to let go but not tolerate the BS from him.
THIS EPISODE!!!!! WOW!!! I have been in multiple narcissistic relationships, and it was oddly one of those relationships that put a name to the issue, clearly, he was able to point it out about my son's father, but the relationship i had after him, the realization that I had started dating ANOTHER narcissist was clear super early, which helped me leave quick!
Took me almost 40 yrs to realize one of my parents is narcissistic. Now what to do next to get out of the situation is the question.but, im ready i got this🙏 it's not easy.above all i will finally put my happiness, mental health and myself first❤
I was single for 4 years, rarely even went on a date. I dove into my walk with God, nurtured my friendships and family and finally agreed to go on a date with a very persistent, very good looking man. He swept me off my feet, lead me in Bible study, visited my church multiple times, said all the right things, did all the right things, he REALLY put in the effort to "court" me. I fell in love for the first time in YEARS. A love I never thought possible. He opened my doors, cleaned after himself lol, always made me feel like the only person in the room. He cooked for me, always brought a sweet gift on our dates, he was so thoughtful and kind. It was a dream until it wasn't and turned into the worst nightmare. He ended up gas lighting me, started fights for no real reason and would storm out leaving my head reeling until he finally discarded me and literally dissapeared without an explanation after about a year of the greatest romance (or so I thought) I'd ever had as a grown woman. Looking back, every red flag was there and I ignored them and made excuses for him and even got upset with my family who said he was moving too fast (he wanted to get married within 2 months of meeting). Boy, did I feel dumb and went through such heartache, but I didn't call, I didn't chase and more importantly, I never gave him the most sacred part of myself, which was my body. That's the only thing he couldn't take from me and I'm proud of myself for trusting my intuition and not giving him that conquest. Deep down, we have that still small voice, that is God warning us in every situation and God kept warning me! Now, I only feel pity for narcissists and I am armed with an arsenal of information about who and what they are so I'm not fooled again. The truth is though ladies, you weren't dumb or foolish if you've fell for this, you were trusting because your heart had good intentions unlike the Narc who will never be able to experience true love. Give yourself love and grace because you WILL get over this and one day you will look back and be so glad you were rescued from them. God bless and sorry so long. 😁
Love this video thank you so much! I'm recently 3 months no contact with mother and siblings. This is not the journey I expected to be on, but here I am navigating through all the feelings..
I’m praying for you Kristen! I don’t know how you feel because I don’t have anyone in my life that is a narcissist, but you did the right thing by cutting off your dad and I hope and pray that you and your dad can come back together and have a relationship in the future. #LetsBeHonestWithKristenCavallari #KristenCavallari 🙏🏻🙏🏻
You'll constantly be put through a series of tests to prove that you love them but you'll always fail. In a maze of defending your character and intent.
You learn to hate yourself because you don’t feel lovable or worthy of love. Every narc wants you to feel you’re not enough when in reality they want to embody you because of your ability to have empathy and compassion. They don’t feel emotions.
Wow thank you for this amazing podcast Kristin! Thank you for sharing about your dad. I cut my dad off last year and it’s been hard but also the best decision I’ve made. I’m finally free. Xoxo
I think the 18 months advice is so good. The beginning of a relationship is always rainbows and butterflies. Once those love hormones calm down you see things on a totally different light. Unfortunately those love hormones always happen more with the player 😢. In my future relationships I’m taking things very slow
I have to say so far I’m loving Kristin’s podcast. I watched Laguna Beach and The Hills and Kristin Cavallari is for me at this point is one of the most likable “stars” from those series. Everyone and their grandmother and great grandmother has a podcast lately but I do appreciate her approach to her interviews and general vibe. And on this specific topic, it really helped me understand that I am not alone. I cut my “dad” out of my life just a couple years ago and never felt more free - I am living my truth and though he likes to make me feel Iike shit, I know I did the right thing - He’s a total narcissistic lunatic that just wants what he can get from me meanwhile didn’t raise me and only showed up when it benefitted him. As soon as I saw him starting to go after my kids, I was like fuck that sir… and bounced for good. Best feeing in the world was walking away before he took them down in that cycle.
Narcissists are some of the most dangerous people outside serial killers, imo. Masters at gaslighting too. My mother, grandmother and ex-husband were. So glad to be away from it all. At 42yo I'm finally in a safe healthy relationship and thankfully kept my now adult children away from that manipulation.
This scared me to hear. I survived Narcissists my whole life, walked away from two of them, stood alone when everyone thought I was in the wrong. I still get PTSD. Thanks so much for this tho.❤
Have you watched Kristin’s reality show with her ex husband Jay! She CONSTANTLY belittles him, then smirks when she sees him getting upset. But if he gives her a taste of her own medicine and makes fun of her, all hell breaks lose and she goes into revenge mode. I’d say she’s the narcissist
I'm sorry, I know how you feel! ❤
“They run you out of your own empathy.” WOW. YES!!!!!!
I love that Kristin is normalizing cutting toxic parents.
didn't she also cut out her husband too. funny how those with nobody around them except for superficial "friends" claim narcasitic abuse.
So sorry to anyone who had to live through that nightmare with a narcissist. You didn't deserve it. At all. Ultimately you just have to see them as sick, and very, very limited and just stop internalizing the bullshit they spew at you. Like the therapist said: gray rock for as long as you have to before cutting ties. You're nobody's scapegoat.
I said "wow" almost as many times as Kristin! this was a "wow" type of conversation, amazing insight!
I have cried throughout this whole video...I hate that my mom is narcissistic and I'm trying so hard to find a way to live again. I had eating disorders as a teenager and this was an eye opener... thank you for this...I also had an abusive narcissistic relationship. It's a reality check I needed.
Whatever advice going forward I would love, I'm in a good safe place now... thank you again
I can understand you perfectly. We have similar situations. So sad how the majority of my life I believed it to be mostly me. I never knew it had a name until like 2017! I always thought narcissists were just people who were obsessed with their own beauty lol. I do feel so alone in this. Noone understands it.
“Every time I end up dismembered” “ what am I trying for” ❤❤
I can’t tell you how many times I got full body chills listening to this. Thank you so much, Kristin for bringing her on. This conversation was so important for me to hear. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!
THIS CONVO WAS EVERYTHING!!!! My parents were both narcissists (different levels/severities/presentations, but still) so this hits home DOUBLY-DEEPLY!!! Thank you both!
Same and my older sibling.
@@DiamondEyez456 sorry about that ☹️
Same and unfortunately most of my “family”. I’m on my own. 💜
@@lilrodz I feel you. Sending all my love & good vibes your way 🙏🏼🩵
@@gregsthrottle 🤗💜💪
This has helped me feel so good for being on my journey of cutting my mom out life !! I needed to hear that I’m not alone and I’m not an ungrateful child
Much respect for allowing us to this very important conversation. The invisible abuse is more damaging than the one that you see
yeah... no. Physical abuse can be brutal, sorry. I'd rather someone call me a loser than break my jaw
I want to thank you SO MUCH for having her on your Podcast! Such a wonderful episode and so educational. I am so happy she was able to transform her trauma as a way to help others.
Thank you for having her in. Also a child if a narcissist and I needed to hear so much of this. ❤️
Happy Birthday Kristin Cavallari!!!
My two sisters and I have each watched this and found it very helpful and completely spot-on. Thank you for this, Kristin!
This podcast spoke to me more than anything else I've ever listened to! My dad wasn't a narcissist. Far from it...the farthest thing from it . But can relate so much to everything said here not relating to my dad but def relating to family and relationships. Thank you so much for this. For being so vulnerable and honest. Means alot
THANK YOU FOR THIS. I need to listen to this 3+ more times. The validation and knowing I’m not completely insane is such an enormous relief. I’m so tired. This gives me some life. Greatly appreciated. Would love to have a follow up episode to this with a Q&A opportunity. Thanks for being so open in this conversation.
I’ve read and listened to a lot of content on narcissism…this is one of the best podcast episodes I’ve heard! It really resonated with me at a whole other level! Thank you for this!
I’m so impressed with you Kristin. Thank you for sharing your struggle and collaborating with Dr Sherrie. She is fantastic, please have her back.
Hugely eye opening. I didn’t know I needed this. The part where she said her boyfriend put in the work and didn’t make it feel like work because she always was made to feel like a burden and no one made loving her feel effortless.. that hit me so hard. I have been made to feel like a burden so much that I now believe that it is a burden to love me or know me. It’s made me terrified as a mom because I fear the day my kids realize I’m a burden and they will leave too. I didn’t realize narcissism came in so many packages. It’s opened my eyes to so much. I definitely have to find a therapist.
❤
I needed this more than you know!!! It sucks feeling hopeless and stuck! Thank you for shedded some light to this topic!!!
Feeling stuck is the worst, especially in a romantic relationship. Not to mention the wrath we will receive when we do leave, can be down right terrifying ..
I am dealing with this currently. I related to this podcast so much. Very fascinating.
Don’t deal with it, get out. These people will RUIN you and it will take years to recover.
My mother is a covert narcissist. And I just got out of a four-year relationship with an emotionally and physically, abusive narcissist. I’m wondering what I can do to change or what I need to do to stop attracting these people in my life. I want to be surrounded by kind, honest, and loyal people. But how do you manifest that when you keep counting narcissist? How do you break the cycle?
@@HH-gv8mxyou need to heal inner wounds and childhood trauma. It is easier said than done I know.
@@HH-gv8mxwhat is your faith? I only ask this because dealing with this type of abuse brought me full circle with my relationship with God, Christ consciousness, my “higher self”, etc. I HAD TO in order to preserve my sanity. It’s helped me so much. I’ve done the therapy, journaling, letters never sent, random cursing throughout the day at these people, etc. Prayer has been the most solid moments of my day to bring me back to center and know I’m worthy of a good life. That I’m a good-hearted and pure-natured person (even with the angry thoughts). That I’ll do anything to show up for the people I love. But would they do the same? You’ll repeat the cycle until you’re dead or until you’re SO pissed off that your tolerance for nonsense, or even the slightest display of disrespect, is unbearable and unacceptable. Food for thought. Hope this helps 💛
It's so important for people to hear these stories. I've seen people bring narcissists into their lives/families and they have trapped them in a gilded cage while tearing their family completely apart. It's so hard to see and feel like you can't do anything to truly help unless they decide to leave that person. But when there is a financial aspect (which lots of narcissists use to control people) it makes it so difficult to leave. If you see any red flags please run.
An absolutely fascinating discussion.. having been in a relationship with a narcissist, it took 18 months for me to realize what was and had been happening. I feel like I'm still healing from that relationship 3 years later! All the ups and downs he put me through.. And now I can spot the signs immediately. But I've always wondered if they knew what they were doing.. hoped and prayed they had no idea.. just wow. Kristin, please keep Dr. Campbell on speed dial!!
I just got out of a four-year relationship with an emotionally and verbally abusive narcissist. My mother is also a covert narcissist. The key now is try and identify what is it in me that attracts these people? I’m afraid of getting into another relationship because you think you can spot them… But really you can’t until you’re already in it.
@@HH-gv8mx ah! so proud of you - i hope you're proud too! just remember to be kind to yourself, and to give yourself grace. there were so many times in the weeks and months that followed where i'd asked myself "how did you not see X, Y and Z?" .. love a lesson learned the hard way! ugh aha
I didn’t want this episode to end. Thank you for this 🥹🫶🏼
I really enjoyed this podcast!
I am a 26 year old who has two narcissistic abusive parents. When I was 21 I began therapy. My mom and dad divorced when I was around 5 years old. I cut my mom out when I was 12 years old. My dad and I went against the parenting plan but my mom was so out of her mind (potentially borderline) that nothing was done about it. I have been through absolute hell. My father lacked emotions and was very neglectful but provided for me. I could go on and on about my childhood, I want to write a book as well… but I am commenting mainly to talk about what I have done to try and “heal”.
I think it is true, you don’t fully heal. What’s happened has happen and it cannot be undone. However we can become more healthy and aware. We can become more empathetic. I am still not sure if I can have a healthy romantic relationship with someone. So far I have had unhealthy romantic relationships starting young.
I have gone through 3 years of talk therapy as an adult. 3 rounds of dialectical behavioral therapy. I’ve had a substance abuse counselor because I self medicated started young. Also, when I was 24 I did ketamine therapy. I want to say that I was a very suicidal person who would dwell. I have been diagnosed with PTSD and I have obsessive compulsive like tendencies. The ketamine therapy did not fully heal me, but it helped my brain in various ways. It helped me gain perspective and see my life in a different light. I began having suicidal ideation when I was 10 and it continued on until I did ketamine therapy. Ketamine was my last resort because if I was always going to be a suicidal person, I did not want to continue on. I did 6 infusions over a one month span in a therapeutic office with two therapists. It did change my life and the way I think about things. I still have PTSD with obsessive compulsive tendencies. I still have shitty parents. But I see a lot of things differently. I am very grateful for all the therapies I have done and listed and I would be open to more.
The story goes on but I felt I would share.
Also randomly, I really enjoy watching reality tv shows and one tree hill. These shows really provided me with some good entertainment as a kid and I have turned out good lol.
Thanks for sharing your story and I'm sorry about your childhood ❤
Listening to this episode has been a beautiful Christmas gift 🎄❤️🎄❤️ Thank you Kristin and Sherrie ❤️
This interview was so good! I’m just getting out of a relationship with a narcissist and everything she said was spot on to describe him!
Such a powerful conversation… Thank you for sharing 💛
Thank you for having her on the show!
First 5 minutes...I thought the discussion was about my mom. She described my mom to a tee! Thank you Kristin for sharing Sherrie Campbell with me. It's a very toxic relationship with my mom....she is always playing the victim.
Please continue to bring hard core topics like this....as well as those fun ones about your dating journal and answering questions from your fans.
I was hurt by a narcissistic sister in law that used to be my best friend. To answer the question of whether narcissists know what they are doing, I think both Kristin and Sherrie are right. I think that sometimes narcissists do not know what they are doing in regards to their words or actions hurting someone else. I think because they lack empathy they don't experience feelings like normal people and they truly do not realize what hurts someone sometimes. However, when it comes to manipulation, they know exactly what they are doing. They are experts at twisting a situation to either make them come out on top or developing a narrative to make them appear to be the ultimate victim.
I am so glad I chose to watch this today as it was exactly what I needed to hear in this moment. The healing journey is not a short trip.
My ex narc literally told me “I ruined your self esteem on purpose so no one would ever want you”
I can’t believe I got out of that hell on earth…fuck
I couldn’t finish this because of the almost constant really long ads! It is a shame because the content of the program is important!
“I even had a toxic dog once” 😂
So great, thanks for sharing ladies.
Thank you Kristin for this episode! ❤
Running you out of your own empathy. So true
Let me slide this in on advice about recognizing a narcissist romantically..listen to how they speak about other people. Family members, exes, enemies, friends,etc. Pay attention to that. Goals they have and how they speak about themselves.
Edit: Also the biggest way to avoid the "cycle" and not get sucked into another narcissistic relationship is check YOUR EGO. Your ego is how they hurt you, get you, and keep you. Be real about you with you. Do the work that the narc is afraid to do for themselves. Once they cant hurt you or affect you they will leave you alone. Its a deeper form of grey rocking. Dont just not respond try to figure out what they are latching onto in you and you deal with it. Get rid of narcs in your life forever.
Edit: Last thing narc famillies hate truth. As the scapegoat you are pointing out the ugly truth about your family and they hate you for that. You refuse to play your role and you are ruining everything. No one is all innocent so of course they may feel some things about you. You may be toxic as well but they will never have a REAL convo with you they rather lash out at you.
I am past my cutting off phase. I healed and now I want to return with the better me and manage these relationships with new perspective. Family estrangement is hard and especially when you have kids. So to anyone please definitely take time to get well and if no contact is necessary do it. But for those who have a slimmer of possibility of some type of contact build your boundaries and work on you. Try to forge your own identity in your family unit. Im going low contact and high boundaries. This is after going no contact for years.
This was an amazing podcast. It helped me to understand narcistic behavior. My parents don't have these characteristics, but a close family member does. Every characteristic you described makes sense and I hope that setting boundaries with this person will help me to not provide them with the dysfunctional satisfaction they crave. Now, I know I am not the problem and not to continue to fight for the unconditional affection. Kristin, thank you for this episode.
Great interview, I love to see this very mature and insightful person who is helping others.
Kristin your podcast is EVERYTHING! I love the variety, and this episode was fantastic! Justin episodes will always have my heart, though🤭
Hi Kristin, I stumbled onto this interview with Dr. Sherrie Campbell (although I do not believe in accidents ~ I feel it was Devine Intervention). I have lived in Laguna Beach since 1976, and I am about 15 years older than Dr. Campbell, and had similar problems in my Therapeutic Treatment because back then Labels were not as available as today to help identify problems. However, I do recall my HS Counselor stating “You may be the identified Patient, however you are not the cause of the core issue, just a symptom of it” (and most Narcissists will never seek treatment because they are in denial). Therefore, it was decades later that I was diagnosed with C-PTSD, and my Father labeled the Narcissist in my Family. *Note: I do recall being around age 8, and being told “You are responsible for destroying our Family”. All I could think was: How can a Child have so much power to “destroy the Family” when there are two grown adults that are supposed to be in charge of parenting?
Anyway, since I turned 18 and moved out of my parents house, I have spent every disposable dollar I earned in Therapy. I have had good, bad, and in-between Therapists on a weekly basis for 4.5 Decades ~ Tried all different kinds of therapeutic styles and techniques..In the past 4 years, I have been involved with EMDR Therapy, which I have found very helpful for my life of serial violence and victimizations. Although I have never felt better, I still do not feel well, nor capable of a healthy relationship.
Question: What am I missing? Any ideas or suggestions you can offer for better results? A particular type of Therapy or referral to a specific Therapist in South Orange County, California (near your former hometown)? Any help you can offer would be sincerely appreciated.
Thank you for seeing me! This hit hard.
All of this resonated so much for me. My dad and stepmom are both narcissists. This was very validating, thank you both so much for discussing this topic!
This was so powerful. Thank you for sharing ❤
Dr.Sherri was so knowledgeable loved listening to this❤
I feel seen. This was so incredibly helpful to hear. Thank you so much to the both of you!
Oh goodness this video is exactly what I needed! You guys both shared some really great info! I related from the start of the video. My ex is a covert narc. Sadly I still have to “co-parent” with him. Or in this case, Parallel Parenting. He uses our child to get my emotional reactions. He even goes so far as to smear me to my own child. It’s disgusting!! Run away from this demonic people and never look back!!
“I think I had a toxic dog once.” 😂 I love this woman. Amazing pod, Kristin!! ❤ always loved you and still do!
This conversation was so sincere and so profound! I can’t thank you enough! The knowledge I have in back pocket now is my ticket to freedom! Mad respect to u both, love you, and God bless you guys!!!
I dated a diagnosed narcissist (wasn’t aware until the end of the relationship) and what stands out to me was that early on, he tried to find out all my insecurities in such a way you don’t realize you’re giving up all your secrets. This information was then used to idealize me at first and then to devalue me and became his excuse for discarding me.
My advice is never give someone your secrets about meaning what you wouldn’t tell someone you don’t know, be an onion. Don’t tell them your insecurities and deep issues, they’re not your therapist. If they ask too many deep questions early on that make you feel uncomfortable, no matter how sincere it comes across, this is a HUGE red flag, something is off about them. Trust your guy because it’s always right.
Kristin THE GUILT! Thank you so much for this.
Please invite her back. This episode was so good.
This conversation was chicken soup for the soul. Thank you for clearing up some of the confusion and lifting the fog.
This episode feels like home. The women talking, the people in the comments, uh I just feel understood and hugged. Thank you 😊
Thank you for this episode! So powerful! I have went through this with my ex husband. It’s always great listening and learning more about Narcissists abuse and educating myself more. I’m thankful for therapy and working through this but it takes years I believe. It’s wild how much damage they can do and you don’t know for a long time.
Coming from loving parents, I struggled to understand this initially. Made me so sad. Thank you for this podcast.
Wow. That was spot on. I finally feel like I understand what feel!
"Give yourself 18 months"...? Hell no. I've dated two narcissists in the last year and one them showed their true colors 2 weeks in, the other after a few months (and there were signs all along). Bottom line, our intuition is the best tool. Never settle. ❤ Great episode!
She’s saying some are really good at hiding their true self for a long time. It could be weeks, months and sometimes years. It all depends on how long they can stay behind the mask.
that's because you didn't wait 18 months after the 1st
Go with your gut!
u can sometimes see it on first date.
This was a valuable dialogue, analysis & truth.
I really appreciate it ❤😊
Best episode of the podcast so far IMO!!! Thank you!
Kristin you don't know how badly I needed to hear this. I feel like I related to the entire episode.
Great show and content, Kristen. Proud of you. 💜
Loved this podcast! The father of my kids was/is a narcissist. Took me 7 years to get out. I have two kids with him who are now adults and my 20 year old son is him. It’s horrible. Trying to navigate it because our relationship has turned toxic because of his behaviors. I’m struggling to let go but not tolerate the BS from him.
Amazing conversation. Wow. You learn so much! Thanks Kristin and Dr. Sherri
Sherrie Campbell is a gem. Love her books.
THIS EPISODE!!!!! WOW!!! I have been in multiple narcissistic relationships, and it was oddly one of those relationships that put a name to the issue, clearly, he was able to point it out about my son's father, but the relationship i had after him, the realization that I had started dating ANOTHER narcissist was clear super early, which helped me leave quick!
Took me almost 40 yrs to realize one of my parents is narcissistic. Now what to do next to get out of the situation is the question.but, im ready i got this🙏 it's not easy.above all i will finally put my happiness, mental health and myself first❤
I was single for 4 years, rarely even went on a date. I dove into my walk with God, nurtured my friendships and family and finally agreed to go on a date with a very persistent, very good looking man. He swept me off my feet, lead me in Bible study, visited my church multiple times, said all the right things, did all the right things, he REALLY put in the effort to "court" me. I fell in love for the first time in YEARS. A love I never thought possible. He opened my doors, cleaned after himself lol, always made me feel like the only person in the room. He cooked for me, always brought a sweet gift on our dates, he was so thoughtful and kind. It was a dream until it wasn't and turned into the worst nightmare. He ended up gas lighting me, started fights for no real reason and would storm out leaving my head reeling until he finally discarded me and literally dissapeared without an explanation after about a year of the greatest romance (or so I thought) I'd ever had as a grown woman. Looking back, every red flag was there and I ignored them and made excuses for him and even got upset with my family who said he was moving too fast (he wanted to get married within 2 months of meeting). Boy, did I feel dumb and went through such heartache, but I didn't call, I didn't chase and more importantly, I never gave him the most sacred part of myself, which was my body. That's the only thing he couldn't take from me and I'm proud of myself for trusting my intuition and not giving him that conquest. Deep down, we have that still small voice, that is God warning us in every situation and God kept warning me! Now, I only feel pity for narcissists and I am armed with an arsenal of information about who and what they are so I'm not fooled again. The truth is though ladies, you weren't dumb or foolish if you've fell for this, you were trusting because your heart had good intentions unlike the Narc who will never be able to experience true love. Give yourself love and grace because you WILL get over this and one day you will look back and be so glad you were rescued from them. God bless and sorry so long. 😁
Very informative. This hit home for sure.
Such a good episode and topic. Needs to be talked about way more.
So many answered questions for us all. Thank you for this information!!!
This podcast was so incredible. Thank you so much. Can't wait for you to come back in 2024!
Love this video thank you so much! I'm recently 3 months no contact with mother and siblings. This is not the journey I expected to be on, but here I am navigating through all the feelings..
Amazing podcast session.
Thank you 💚
I’m praying for you Kristen! I don’t know how you feel because I don’t have anyone in my life that is a narcissist, but you did the right thing by cutting off your dad and I hope and pray that you and your dad can come back together and have a relationship in the future. #LetsBeHonestWithKristenCavallari #KristenCavallari 🙏🏻🙏🏻
YES, a video the whole way through. thank you! loved this episode.
This is soooooo helpful!!! ❤ Thank you so much. Y'all are so brave for sharing. It's helping others so much.
You'll constantly be put through a series of tests to prove that you love them but you'll always fail. In a maze of defending your character and intent.
This was amazing. Thank you both.
MY background is in psychoanalytic social work, and I appreciate this discussion! So great!
WOW! HOW AMAZING YOUR SHOW IS! THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH! ❤ LUV U CRIS
This episode was wonderful! I’m so thankful for it! This episode has brought me some peace. ❤
Amazing episode ladies 🤍
Wow wow wow!! I learned so much from this episode 😭 Thank you!! ❤❤❤
You learn to hate yourself because you don’t feel lovable or worthy of love. Every narc wants you to feel you’re not enough when in reality they want to embody you because of your ability to have empathy and compassion. They don’t feel emotions.
They'll tell you your ideas are utterly stupid...right before passing them off as their own. Really bizarre stuff. And enraging at times.
This was the BEST Podcast ever ❤
This was incredible!!! Learned so much. Thank you, Kristin ❤
I have a dad that is a text book case... still in my life but at arms length.... love you KC....
Wow Kristen, thank you so much for posting this! It was very very eye opening for me. I'll be sharing this one.
Wow thank you for this amazing podcast Kristin! Thank you for sharing about your dad. I cut my dad off last year and it’s been hard but also the best decision I’ve made. I’m finally free. Xoxo
You need a part two!!! Wow!!! 😮
I think the 18 months advice is so good. The beginning of a relationship is always rainbows and butterflies. Once those love hormones calm down you see things on a totally different light. Unfortunately those love hormones always happen more with the player 😢. In my future relationships I’m taking things very slow
THANK YOU SO MUCH WOW I NEEDED TO HEAR THIS!!!!!!
This was SOOOOOOO GOOD AND SOOO VALIDATING. Wow 🥹❤
I have to say so far I’m loving Kristin’s podcast. I watched Laguna Beach and The Hills and Kristin Cavallari is for me at this point is one of the most likable “stars” from those series. Everyone and their grandmother and great grandmother has a podcast lately but I do appreciate her approach to her interviews and general vibe. And on this specific topic, it really helped me understand that I am not alone. I cut my “dad” out of my life just a couple years ago and never felt more free - I am living my truth and though he likes to make me feel Iike shit, I know I did the right thing - He’s a total narcissistic lunatic that just wants what he can get from me meanwhile didn’t raise me and only showed up when it benefitted him. As soon as I saw him starting to go after my kids, I was like fuck that sir… and bounced for good. Best feeing in the world was walking away before he took them down in that cycle.
This is so good. I never knew what my mom had & I always called it emotional abuse but this explains it all. Thank you for this important message. ❤❤
Narcissists are some of the most dangerous people outside serial killers, imo. Masters at gaslighting too. My mother, grandmother and ex-husband were. So glad to be away from it all. At 42yo I'm finally in a safe healthy relationship and thankfully kept my now adult children away from that manipulation.
Shes says wow tooooooo much