I know a lot of people are like "nooo your art's not shitty" but like YES. Make Shitty art! Shitty art is amazing! We need to demystify the creative process, people have to stop being scared of creating because they're "not good" or sharing their art because it's "shit." Make art. Make shitty art. Make amazing art! Make amazing shitty art!
Yes!! It took me sooo long to realise that good art isn't just the art that's objectively good to look at/listen to/read! The only criterium good art has to meet is it has to be liked by someone. If YOU like your own art it's already good art, even if "objectively" it's in the shitty category
@@kwiggy5091 YESSS!! there's this tumblr post somewhere (ik tumblr is a bit cringe but this post is right) saying how sad it is that basic human behaviours like singing and dancing became things you only do to be good at them. No!! Jump around your room to your favourite song and bump into everything clumsily and sing along with your voice that might or might not hit the notes perfectly but it's still a precious human voice made for singing!
And if the kid is looking over their shoulder for a parent to stick their head in, or making sure to keep their voice down can make them not able to open up in therapy
Everyone needs privacy. Respecting your children's privacy can help them trust you more. The more you pry the more the child (or anyone) will shut down
I might have been able to get help as a teen if my parents weren’t brought into the room in the last 10 minutes of each session to discuss the topics brought up during the rest of the session. It made me scared to actually talk about my abuse. It was terribly invasive and put me off of therapy for years.
i would feel uncomfortable even if i had my own private room with a lock that i could use for online therapy, i just don't have the trust and sense of privacy to be comforable with that. it took me so long to find a therapist because i started looking into beginning therapy during the pandemic when most practitioners only offered online services.
My kid is too young for therapy right now, and seems pretty well adjusted. But I am planning on therapy for her, and relieved by the idea that she can have someone unbiased to express herself to. I don't want to be overly involved, except in ways the therapist thinks would be helpful for her.
"my mom comes into the basement to ' do laundry' when I'm talking to my therapist". why do i think that if this child kept a diary their mom would read it?
Because her mom would read it. Her mother sounds like mine was, where since it was HER house, we didn't get privacy. My feeling is that that was pretty normal 20 years ago, but I could be wrong. I think it's less common now, and no matter what, therapy should ALWAYS be private unless otherwise agreed upon!!
Mental health care needs to be made much more affordable in the US. Having said that, the mother of that seventeen year old girl, who barges in on her during remote therapy sessions, needs to be thinking much less about whether she's getting her damned money's worth and much more about the affect of her behavior on her daughter. This pandemic sure has taken away a lot of options that children and teens used to have to cope with toxic behavior from their parents. And that in itself has surely taken a toll on young people even if their parents aren't routinely assholes--which I'm not saying that that girl's mother is.
it's also just a great way to get your child to resent you and disengage/drive them away/trigger them to engage in self-destructive behaviours (eg smoking, drinking, etc) later on as a response to excessive control. children are their own human beings with thoughts and emotions, and they deserve a private space to explore those in a safe environment (same goes for why looking through your child's diary or constantly asking where they are is bad). let your child have time to process their feelings, create an environment where feelings are shared & not judged and I virtually guarantee the child will actually open up more.
As someone who went through the IB/AP hell-labyrinth and had parents who were pressuring to the point of abuse about grades, a parent complaining that therapy is taking away from study time is a reeeeeeddddddd flag for me.
@@cielmilstrey2033 I always say well they won’t have time for school or therapy if you find them dead in their room cause of the pressure you put on them :) sometimes you just gotta be real with these shitty parents and tell them the truth about the consequences of their irrational actions.
I haven’t seen the rest of the video but I had no idea how much I needed to hear that first story. I have adhd so I sometimes go off on tangents without realizing and it’s wonderful to have someone like my therapist who will listen without judgement. Oftentimes my tangents will lead me to something I didn’t know I needed to talk about, so not only are they beneficial to me for social reasons, they can be productive in the mental health aspect as well. Not that they need to be, I just find that sometimes they lead to deeper conversations I didn’t know I needed to have :)
And sometimes I just rant about some random shit like Anne Boleyn because I’m a writer and a history nerd so I often write about her! So it’s important to my life!
I find this reassuring I don't have adhd but I have a similar thing where i just ramble uncontrollably and I keep worrying it's holding me back in therapy because the hour just goes by s o quickly
honestly same. I'm currently getting evaluated for adhd and even if I don't have it everyone is pretty sure that I'm very much not neurotypical, and most of my tangents go somewhere important or fill in details better for the important nearby topic. This has been especially helpful for me as I recently got a new counselor (my old one, because she worker through my university, couldn't see me as often as I needed or ive me more complete aid), and it's helped my new counselor get a feel for me, and her reactions have helped me get a feel for her.
Yes! I do this constantly and I’m always apologizing to my therapist (I also have a problem with constantly apologizing too though for basically just existing- so there’s that lol)
“For accessibility reasons, I want to rread them out loud.” Thank you. I’ve found a lot of channels that don’t bother to think about accessibility so I appreciate that you took that in to account.
Yeah, same here. As someone who is blind and enjoys a lot of channels where I have to sometimes guess what is being put up on the screen, it is really nice to not have to do that here.
I got a therapist when I was a kid, and at first I was really open, but a few sessions in I found out my mom was being told about the stuff I said, and in turn she was telling my dad and maybe others. I clammed up. Never talked about personal deep stuff again in those sessions, and they were pretty much a failure.
I'm so sorry to hear that your privacy was violated in that way. I hope you find another person who can help you work through those feelings of betrayal.
Yeah it took me 6 months to mention to my therapist that I'm going through the worst breakup of my life... first I had to talk at length about why I never put away my laundry and the steps I'm taking to fix that lmao
for me i'm the opposite i launch straight into deep trauma like "woo here we go" (but that's probs because I have had so many bad therapists i'm like right here is my life story are we vibing or no cos i don't wanna waste my time xD)
Relatable! I literally told my therapist how great my relationships were for months before finally just exposing everything like a magician doing a magic trick. 😂
Thank you for saying it’s the therapist’s responsibility to keep things on track. My last therapist talked about her dogs for the majority of the final sessions we had (we had worked through a minor issue before that). I finally got comfortable and brought up some deep shit at the end of a session because I was too nervous to dig into it (and was waiting for a non-dog moment to bring it up if I’m being honest), and the very next session we went back to talking about dogs and she said that I had improved on the original minor problem and didn’t need therapy anymore. I have, until now, thought it was my fault for talking about fluff topics so much. Bleh.
About the first point, my mom does sort of the same thing. I've stopped telling her about funny things that happen in sessions because she tends to say something like "oh so I'm paying your therapist to talk about xyz instead of x thing that you should be talking about?" But in reality, I've never trusted a therapist more, and the funny jokes we make and the tv shows we have bonded over makes me WANT to come back and also make it easier for me to talk about the deep dark recesses of my brain. I'm glad that I can go into a session with something that I need to bring up and know that I'll probably have both that figured out and have a laugh by the end.
Therapy when I was 16 vs 24 has been very different. When I was first starting, it was a lot of building trust and getting the experience of finally talking to someone about myself. At 24, my therapy is still conversational, but is a lot more "clinical" in this phase of my life. I am not needing the human connection as much as the problem-solving and tool building.
On the first story, it's definitely agreed it's not the child's place to figure this stuff out regarding their treatment. One of my kids' therapist and I had a great conversation about this several weeks into treatment because my kid was still only talking surface level and the therapist was concerned she may need to refer my kid to another provider who may make a better fit and get her to open up more. So I asked if she's allowed to tell me what they talk about. She did. I explained to her that's more than my kid has talked to me about in the years since we'd fled their abusive father, so as a parent, I was thrilled she was making so much progress in just getting my child to talk and build rapport about anything because that meant that she felt comfortable going to her when she was ready. My kid can't even talk to her teachers when she doesn't understand her homework because her anxiety is so bad, so the fact that she's built up to talking a half hour a week with her therapist is a major success in my book. So yeah it is the therapist's job to suss it out because they their profession, and it is the parent's job to be supportive and help the therapist make decisions because the parent generally speaking knows their kid better and ideally, that makes a great team. Obviously, that's not what's going on here with the mom barging in on the kids' sessions. Laundry can wait. Your kids' health is so much more important than clothes and so her privacy with her therapist.
@@MickeyAtkins A couple of days ago there was an aita post from a man saying he and his girlfriend couldn't decide where the dogs should sleep in their new house, and the top comment was saying they will probably break up because they can't agree on 'obviously important' matters. It's wild!
@@malenixius Hopefully posters are able to take the advice with a grain of salt. If reading the extreme comments makes them think, "Wait, I don't want to break up with my girlfriend over this," it could be a good way for them to decide that it is worth it to try harder to compromise. That one was hard, though. Dog owners (like the girlfriend and commenters) can be super protective of their relationship with their pets and it didn't seem like the girlfriend was willing to compromise at all.
You might want to look at r/legaladvice as well. Someone suggests going there for advice and an army falls over itself to explain that only cops and pretender lawyers are on the subreddit and that the cops only give advice that could get the person in deeper shit if they follow it.
I think talking about media with your therapist can be helpful because media can affect you. For an obvious example, a lot of my friends like a show that has some things that are triggering for me and I discussed it with my therapist. Even if you are not affected like that by a piece of media it still is good to discuss ideas that you see in your everyday life whether it is in media or online
I could see horror being especially rich territory for discussing fears and coping strategies. I say this as a non horror fan. I imagine fans could find all sorts of meaning in it.
I met a man who has full custody of his two teenaged kids. I moved in with them three years ago after living by myself for over a decade. About two months ago, I was having anxiety all the time and was feeling overwhelmed. I had decided that it was me and some issues rather than them. I found a wonderful therapist that is helping me through the issues and I feel like I've been kinder to the kids and the household feels so much easier. I'm glad I came across this channel and this particular video. I am a definite example of how kids can be troubled because the parent is troubled. EDIT: By the way, I love your shitty art, especially the SIMS one!
If you did any more reactions to the AITA sub I would absolutely listen! Therapists have such a good 3rd person view of situations and I love hearing your advice.
As a child, I had court-mandated therapy. I refused to talk, so every session, the therapist would explain a beautiful place he had visited in his life. After a year of treatment, I had only talked back to him twice, but he had changed me in ways that I wouldn't understand for years to come. Now when I plan for my dreams, I still think about the places he told me about and when ill get to see them myself one day. He gave me a vision to look towards and taught me it was okay to be silent. He wouldn't leave cuz I wasn't doing what I was "supposed " to do. He gave me a dream to push towards, to thrive towards. I will never be able to express how thankful I am for the time he spent with me every week. Edit: Sadly, therapy with him ended since he refused to tell my adoption mother what I was saying, so she declined to extend the service after the mandate.
I love your advice on the first one (17yo asking if it’s ok to talk about non-MH topics with therapist) I’d like to add that this is not only totally acceptable, but it’s also super common and useful for children and teenagers especially! It’s already tough for them and if they can bond in any way with their therapist, that’s extremely beneficial for them!
Best thing I ever did for my child’s therapy was to ask her if she wanted me there for the first one…and then once she felt she was comfortable with the therapist, I took a step back. I drop her off, she has a phone to call me if she needs me (I’m right outside in the car), and she has grown in ways I never thought I’d see. Never poke your nose in other peoples therapy; just because you’re their parent don’t mean you deserve to know all their business.
I mean when I was a kid my mother used to barge in on me doing _anything_ . Knocking was (and remains to be) a foreign concept, in fact our doors were never shut, always either sort of ajar, or you know, when there's no space between the door and the threshold but the handle is still not turned and the tongue of the lock is visible. I never understood this as I never had anything to hide, I was a good kid, no smoking no drugs no alcohol no tentacle anime, but sometimes I would have liked some privacy, especially since the TV was always on in the other room and I would have appreciated the noise canceled by the door being fully fucking shut. Anyway, I thought I should have gotten used to this but as I turned 18, the feeling kept getting worse around other people. Now that I'm an adult, still with nothing to hide, I get nervous when people stand behind my computer screen or stand too close to me and it's become a literal trigger when people leave the door ajar as they leave. I haven't been living at home for 9 years, when I go for a dinner and sleep over, it's like I'm 10 again, but not in the sense that I feel safe, more like in the sense that nothing has changed, my mother will walk in and open the windows and stuff without question and the only thing I can fight this is, well, with not living at home.
As someone who has trauma surrounding my family and what therapy controlled by my family means the idea of that boundary being breached absolutely horrified me. HIPAA for God’s sake!
I often ramble in therapy, I have no friends and no one besides my husband to talk to, and I don’t like boggling him with every single thought I have (although he encourages me to, I married a gem of a man I’ll tell ya) so often times in therapy, I will ramble about things but it almost always makes me introspect into why something made me feel the way I did, why I relate to something, etc. as someone who grew up extremely isolated, I have no social skills and no friendships to rely on thus my therapist actually helps me learn how to socialize as well as ease the anxiety I have associated with it.
I once took a 30min nap at the therapist’s office. My schedule was stressfully busy, I had to travel 1h each direction to the therapist, and a nap is what I needed. It was amazing.
11:00 YES!! My mom was--and is--a wonderful parent who struggled with anorexia and dieting before she had me. It seeped into my childhood in the form of splenda, diet pepsi, and constantly going on new diets. I can't blame her for that, but now I can't eat more than 600 calories a day. Doesn't make you a bad parent to have issues, but they SHOULD be worked on so this stuff doesn't happen.
I started trauma therapy last week n watching you helped me sooo much getting started. You humanized therapists for me. I had a terrible experience with my old psychiatrist who I saw for 5 years and started my mental health journey with. (I am seeing a new one now thank goodness!) but I wanted to thank you ❤️❤️❤️❤️ I feel like I can actually be honest with her thinking of her as a human rather than a person there to police me n drop me if I say the wrong thing (that’s what happened with my old one).
Oh my god I’m so honored! Seriously, I’m so happy and proud for you and I’m just glad I could help in some small way! Thats cool as hell that you’re feeling more comfortable!!
For the first story: my therapist has been talking to me about my coping skills when I start to spiral out or have an anxiety attack. Some of those coping skills are very “therapy like” such as deep breathing and visualization. However, most of my coping skills are stuff like: read a book, watch anime, play video games. This is also a new therapist, so we’re taking our time with the childhood trauma part, so right now most of our sessions are her asking what my current book is about, or how far am I in my current video game? What anime/manga can I recommend her? After we hash out what my most recent stressers were that week we go over my coping skills, and yeah part of that is just shooting the shit about the latest anime I watched.
About the first one, I'm in therapy and I often wonder if I'm being too off-topic sometimes. Like others, I have ADHD as well as a plethora of issues to deal with, so I constantly question myself about whether or not I'm "doing it right." But I started thinking about it, and I realized some things. Firstly, a good therapist can usually see the things you're dealing with even if you're just talking about your everyday life. Books, TV shows, movies, music, etc. are all part of who we are and how we see the world. How we react to these things can also speak to our experiences in the past. During my last session, I was talking about a song from my favorite band. My therapist let me talk about my interest, but then she asked me things like, "What is the song about? Why does it affect you so deeply? Was there an experience in your life that you've tied to it?" That's when I realized that not all therapy is like the media, where you lay on a couch and talk about your parents constantly. A lot of it is learning about yourself, and discussing your interests is a great way to do that. Secondly, sometimes people have trouble talking to others about ANYTHING. I was taught that, "Just because someone asks how you're doing, it doesn't mean they actually want to hear about it. They're just being polite and you shouldn't burden them with your problems." So having someone listen to me talk about seemingly unimportant things IS part of my therapy. It's helping me to learn that there are people out there with a genuine interest in ME, as a person. That's very important work.
In the first one I think it's especially true that it's not the clients responsibility to make sure they're working through problems because they were only 17. In the second one I think a possibly more productive conversation would have been asking why he didn't want to go to therapy. My first Therapy experience was as a child with my mom forcing me to go like "hey your sister is putting us all through hell from her mental health stuff so go ONCE and talk to a stranger you have no report with to see if this is effecting you". (It definitely was but the therapist gave me a "clean bill of health")Then my 2nd experience was much later as an adult and the therapist being SUPER invalidading and basically saying "that's normal life stress get over yourself". So yeah thankfully my Therapist now is great but people can have legit reasons why they don't trust therapy or think it won't be valuable.
and, just as concerning, children and adults can be survivors of abuse or toxic behaviours by therapists or the wider healthcare system as professionals are humans and not immune to behaving in appalling ways. therapy is also something that doesn't occur in any of our other human relationships, so some resistance and hesitance is pretty normal and natural especially when seeing a therapist for the first time, after several "meh"/unhelpful therapists, or when meeting a new therapist.
Ah yes, the 1st one reminds me of my parents cutting off therapy sessions because I wasn't progressing "how they wanted." Fun fact - eating disorders take months to YEARS to address. It's a lifetime struggle, it doesn't fix itself magically. I ended up having to pay myself, which now I'm struggling financially. But then again parents and their invalidation if we don't suffer just like they did in the 1980s 💕
I kinda want to see you react to the therapy scenes from Haunting of Hill House (the Netflix series). Nell's therapist in episode 5 is generally considered to be bad and not saying the right things, but it would be nice to see what a real therapist thinks and what a real professional would say in those sessions.
You unintentionally answered a question I've always had. Do therapists need therapy too? And yes it makes so much sense. Everyone can get the help if they need it
as a teen (technically a kid so i get to dump this) in therapy, i actually really get why you wouldn't want to work with kids all that often. my parents haven't yet realized that i'm allowed to keep what happens in therapy to myself if i wish, which has been really fun. their willingness factor to put effort in to help me is also zero. i actually didn't see a therapist for 6 months because my mom was, amazingly, preventing us from anything. there were a lot of issues, and i'm gonna try to do it differently this time. parents are so problematic.
Oh, the second story is tough. My mom had anorexia and it certainly messed with my eating habits. She was not making any effort to avoid affecting me negatively. With that being said, I also know people who have trauma from therapy. I guess generally speaking, you should try to avoid messing up your kids too much, but you also can't force anyone into therapy and you can't expect everyone to go to therapy.
I’m not convinced that second guy was doing anything wrong. Maybe this is just me, but when he said “I told her I wouldn’t go because it gives me bad memories” I heard “I’m not emotionally ready to deal with some things and I’d rather not go to therapy.” Her response was then to deny him his physical home space of their bedroom and then deny him contact by spending the night elsewhere. Notice how in the edit he says he received some helpful advice that allowed him to make step towards doing something he’s obviously scared of doing. Of course there are two sides to every story, but it just doesn’t seem like he was that bad at all.
Yes!He was not wrong at all. This is weird how some people were making him a villian. He must have some emotional triggers,that's why he didnt want to go there. But his gf's reaction was wild! How can you force your partner to leave his bad and sleep on the couch?! You dont have that right. That was rude and awful behaviour from her. Just because she was pregnant doesn't justify rude behaviours. If the gender was reversed,things would have been called different.
Omg thank you so much for sounding out the date, I'm not personally visually impaired, but whenever I see a RUclipsr just put the words on the screen and I always feel like that must be SO ANNOYING for anyone who is visually impaired and can't make out the words on the screen. Thank you Mickey ❤️
Ah yes on the children’s therapy thing! Even though I’m 22, the reason I’ve consistently gone to therapy since I was 14 is because of my relationship with my parents. The session is great but then I have to go back to the source of my depression and anxiety once it’s over. It’s a never ending cycle. It’s much better now that I’ve moved out though!
Same, I had a lot of trouble breaking out of certain cycles and mindsets because I'd go home feeling good, but then I'd get sucked back into everything that was going on with me and my parents.
I went to a few therapy sessions when I was 16. I didn't really stick with it because it was painfully awkward. I wanted to go to therapy because I knew something wasn't okay with me but didn't know what it exactly was so I just sat there, awkwardly. I'm now 20 and very much aware of my problems. I'm definitely starting therapy soon because I have so much shit to say. I'm gonna plop down and be like "honey, I need to know if I have ADHD.".
I thought Mickey might’ve painted the little background paintings, but knowing that she does makes me really happy lol. It’s not “shitty” art if you have fun making it! :p
The slow pace created by you reading it out loud is good for people with my limitations. I'm sure there are other people with sensory issues and slow processing and/or anxiety with things happening too fast.
I was very happy to talk to my therapist about music and comic books. It really segwayed comfortably into some deeper issues regarding my mental health. I appreciated the hell out of it.
Totally agree on the first one. One of my favourite things about my therapist is that we are able to communicate about really anything and its great because it makes me feel comfortable. I remember one time I was telling her about this game that I'd been playing that is incredibly story based and how you have to make a very big decision at the beginning. I told her what my decision was and my reasoning behind it; then I told her about how the mayor of the town it affected responded. Even though it might seem mundane her input actually changed my perspective and opened up my mind a bit more.
I have 2 painting ideas I think you'd like - a yin and yang with the white side saying "do no harm" and the black side saying "take no shit" (balance of boundaries, self respect, and kindness) - "take it easy, but take it"
I really enjoy the format that you're speaking in...I also think this is an important topic. I had the realization after watching your video reviewing the way therapy was portrayed in tv shows that 90% of my anxiety about going to therapy was from terrible representations of it in the media. Having someone explain the nuances of this kind of stuff is helpful for viewing situations more critically.
The first one somehow got me. I was forced to go to a therapist in my teens, because I wasn't cooperative at home. Mind you, I was an angel in school, I was a perfectly brave kid at all my frequent doctors visits, just at home I was an ungrateful little *** (thanks to this channel I just learned about parentification, but I already knew I hated it then). The therapist tried to get through my armour by playing board games and then every time when I was just having fun probed me with all those leading questions about my home and my family and immediately I froze and shut up like a clam. I didn't need that. I needed a safe space to be a child. I haven't gone to therapy since, even though I probably should. So if you have a therapist you trust? And a person to talk about hobbies with? In one? Don't let that go if you don't want to and are able to.
I really relate to the first story. I have ADHD and Autism and I tend to do alot of info-dumping about my hyperfixations and special interest. I oy tend to do when I'm in therapy, because I dont want to annoy my friends and family, as that has happend in the past. I tend to not mention what happens in my therapy sessions, because my parents tend to quiz me on what I talk about. So I know where that girl is coming from. I would say she isn't the asshole. (Sorry for the long tangent.)
I infodump when I perceive tension or I'm increasingly anxious. So many of us do it that I get more and more suspicious of people accusing me of being an asshole or angry when I do it. I'm anxious because of something someone said so I'm trying to make things more pleasant by rattling off about a shared tv show we both enjoy or talking about something the group agrees upon for lower pressure for all of us. It really just seems like some odd shift in social etiquette that suddenly it's not good for some of us who use this as a comfort and diversion. It's like the Victorians inventing new rules to torture people.
I like this format! Do more Reddit reactions! I like the level of detail and backstory a lot more than the quippy stuff from like Pinterest and TikTok. Also, love the idea of a making shitty art livestream, though I probably won't be able to make it
I love the first thread that you chose. I needed to hear that because my therapist will sometimes just sit and let me cry because I don't really do that. So it's nice to hear that I'm not doing therapy wrong.
Re: the first story, I have kind of an ebb and flow to my therapy sessions where I will talk about something serious until I am tired and then I will tell her about something cute that my kids are doing that's new. My therapist will engage for about 5 minutes or so and then bring me back to the serious topic for a while until I need another break. That's just our pattern because I definitely need those breaks in the conversation.
I was worried when I saw this video but I shouldn't have been. One of the things I've had pointed out is that a lot of the time the AITA posts are missing some key information that one would need to judge if someone's behaviour was inappropriate or justified. But of course you came at this from a thoughtful, instructional place. Another great video
The part about parents needing to reflect on their own issues is so true, i am on the child side of that, which makes it really hard to talk about my issues with them :/
As an observation on the last story, while I understand the partner also brought up the idea of going to therapy, I wonder how beneficial therapy will be if the partner is the one finding the therapist/ seems to be investing the emotional labor into getting the poster to go. Just because there is a point where you can't help someone if they're not on board to try
Um, so this kinda has nothing to do with the video, but I recently found out that I probably have like two disorders. They're not very well known so I feel like I should talk about them. One is called misophonia and the other is called Body Focused Repetative Behaviour (BFRB). Misophonia is basically when you have a really intense reaction to common sounds (typically sounds close family make). The reaction can be like crying or rage. Some sounds that is very commonly reacted to is eating and breathing. Another example could be hearing someone sing. BFRB is typically associated with OCD or anxiety, but it can be completely on it's own. Basically you repeat an action to your body to the point that it causes you harm. Typical repetitive behaviour is: Pulling your hair out until you start balding prematurely, picking your nose until you bleed, biting your nails until you get an infection, picking at your skin until you bleed. So yeah this has been my Ted talk.
Fellow misophonia-haver! It’s a crappy disorder because people look at you like you’re crazy when you’re super irritated by an otherwise benign sound. Stuff like chewing, breathing, pets licking makes me SO stressed and agitated and people get annoyed at me for being irritated by it... especially when it’s other people’s pets 😬
@@ThisIsNotMyPassword Yeah I've kinda learnt to just leave if it gets really bad. I've heard music can help though. Like, it'll distract your brain from focusing on the noise.
For the misophonia stuff : it might be worth while to look into something like reusable noise reducing earplugs. I’ve seen this brand ‘loop’ and they have a noise canceling one and a noice reducing one. Plus they look pretty cool. The point is, for me with my anxiety I get really overwhelmed by all the noises and smells etc. going on in my house (I still live with my parents) so I’m mostly in my room all the time. But I think being able to filter out some of the noise without it affecting your ability to hear a conversation or something like that could be really helpful. It filters out all the smaller noises like breathing and I’m pretty sure it could reduce noises from chewing, but since conversations make more noise you will still be able to hear that.
Parent who has both been in therapy and has a teenager receiving help. What are some non intrusive questions I can ask? I know they have a right to privacy ect. I just want to show that I do care and gauge if they are ok. I know sessions can be really hard sometimes. From my kids responses, I am failing to get the balance right. (For the record, I don't bust in or anything like that).
Because I don’t know your kids I can’t really say what they would be comfortable with. As a person who goes to therapy with a mom who never understood I think I always wanted her just to tell me that she was there and if things got hard to let her know. I think yah don’t necessarily ask because they might not wanna talk about it, as you said therapy can be really emotionally challenging sometimes, but just being there for them and saying hey if you had a hard day today I’m here for you I love you I’m proud of you and stuff like that. Personally I’ve always opened up more to people who don’t push me with questions that I’m not comfortable answering and just let me know that they’re there to listen if I want to talk.
@@alexmarian4642 whaaaat??? I've noticed they've gotten some new overzealous mods recently. I got a couple of totally innocuous comments removed by one specific mod. I was making jokes that were well received by everyone else on the thread so I'm not really sure why my comments got removed. When I asked I got no response at all which sucks.
love this idea, just an idea for when your reading the post, maybe highlight key points on the screenshot, it’s a lot of text on the screen and lots of words to listen to, I know for me that’d help a lot with staying engaged/not distracted
Loved this video! I think this kind of thing helps people see that therapy is for everyone and is useful for everyday life situations and to help overcome the stigma that therapy is only for "crazy people". As an aside, your hair looks absolutely gorgeous today.
I'd love to see more reactions! I'm also super interested if you'd react to HealthyGamerGG's content. I'm genuinely so confused around the ethics. It looks like he's live streaming therapy sessions and talking about his clients in youtube videos?? If you want to look at anything in particular, there's an 'interview' with Sasha Grey from a month ago, where at about 5 minutes in she questions the ethics and he responds... weirdly. There's also a recent video "hiring dr k to deal with entitled parents' in which he blabs about a "patient's" story. I'd be super interested to see a comparison of this with what therapy is actually like, and what the restrictions actually are (at least in your area) seeing as the line is very blurred. Kinda hoping my new therapist doesn't talk about my experiences on youtube lol!
I adore this format! I just wish the videos were longer. That's not to say you SHOULD make them longer if that's not something you want to do or it's not feasible with your life or schedule, but I could listen to these all day haha. Keep up the good work!
The one counselor I liked just talked a lot. For a little while I thought it was pointless because I would think of the "big stuff" during the week, but I would end up talking about the things that upset me that morning or something. Eventually though I saw a change, because she found little ways to tie it back to bigger things and chipping away at unhealthy behaviors. I miss her.
With the second story, I understand suggesting to someone that they go to therapy but the girlfriend is trying to force OP to go and I feel like that’s messed up. I guess the only thing the could justify it is if OP is making their child eat a certain way but there’s not enough information for that and I feel like the OP and their girlfriend would’ve had a conversation about that on their own. It seems like the girlfriend is just listening to the advice of her friends instead thinking about OP in all of this too. I understand that if you have a child, you need to take responsibility for them but that doesn’t necessarily mean they personally need therapy. It sounds more like they might need family therapy or something.
3:46 Legit, for 15 minutes with my therapist I spoke about how I can not get along with republicans and my politics bc it needed to be out there, ya know. It was a long tangent and he had to refocus me because before that we were talking about something I needed to go deeper into. It was quite funny now that I think about it. Me: Those fucking people won't let me live! My therapist: Let's get back to (deep topic that I got distracted off of).
I can't talk to Republicans about anything deeper than "How long does it take you to get to work?" because I don't think most of them consider me human. The wheelchair immediately makes them see me as sub- whatever- they-are
For the first story, I think it’s awesome that the OP clearly has a good relationship with their therapist and I hope their mom steps back. As a pre teen, my own mother would drag me to therapy to “fix” me. But it was her therapist and she would sit in on the sessions. So I obviously felt ganged up on and it was all about how I was this bad teen with no mention of my mother’s mental instability and how she had been bringing me into dangerous situations, bringing unsafe men home, and leaving me to watch my brother overnight since I was a child. And that’s just scratching the surface. And unfortunately, it really turned me off therapy for years after because of that experience.
Love your videos! I really liked your rant on "Pandemic Pounds"/fat phobia. I would love to hear your commentary on sexualization of women in society. I find I am sexualized a lot and it has been difficult when trying to date. This is something I am currently talking about in therapy and other opinions would be much appreciated. Thanks for this informative channel!! Take care! L
Therapy at your own pace is so important! I went through an awful amount of emotional stress and anxiety to find a job in my field in 2021, but I lost the job because I wasn’t a superstar at it in the first three weeks (an insane timeline to truly grow into a whole new position and work environment). Although I knew my firing was not my fault and I did my best, it was still a hard blow because I really wanted a good job in my field. I also really wanted a job that would pay me enough to get me away from a crap apartment and a crap roommate. I took a lot longer to recover than I expected, and when my dad learned that I was still taking time off before leaping back into the job hunt, he said I was “wallowing,” and that my therapist was “enabling” me for not telling me to get right back on the horse. I felt so small and so angry when my dad tried to tell me what was right for my own mental well-being, although he had no touch with what I was feeling and that he had never been in a therapy session with me. That’s why I never tell him anymore what’s happening in therapy or anything really, because I know he will try to gaslight me or minimalize what I’m going through.
The 2nd story was really interesting to me, made me think a lot. I am currently annoyed that my fiance won't go to therapy even though he needs it badly, but I also won't go... I think its time we try to find somewhere to go together and we can hold each others hands through it instead of me just getting annoyed. I'm sure he doesn't want to go for the same reasons I don't want to - maybe we can be stronger together. Also never thought about tele-health.
8:35 - Actually, I think it's very much both here *and* there that someone's mother is barging into her daughter's therapy appointments - a therapist should make clear that is NOT acceptable!!
I really really this the way it is but would would also love it to be a bit longer! I really enjoy your content and would definitely like longer videos, but I feel like you are probably keeping them short to make them more doable for yourself or for accessibility reasons, which makes sense!
I’ve actually had that experience before with my bf that he didn’t want to go to therapy for a while because he had the experience that you explained of therapy being used by adults to escape their own responsibility as parents. But we started encountering problems in our relationships due to some underlying trauma he had from his childhood and teen years. Working through that even for a couple of months really helped our relationship and I notice so much improvement in him. I highly recommend therapy always and it doesn’t always have to be the sit down and talk kind, I’m someone who prefers stuff like CBT or DBT myself.
I don't know if anybody needs to hear this, but it's ok to tell your therapist that you don't want to continue with them. If you don't feel heard or you feel that you just don't get along, tell them. They're there for you and you need to be ok with them being there. It can even be really stupid things that have nothing to do with the therapy. It's probably good to tell your next therapist why you didn't want to continue though.
Honestly I did the same thing as the poster from the first story with a therapist that I already had rapport and trust with, and she fully engaged and discussed it with me. And then she made me realize why I find horror so comforting and how it helps me cope with how I experience the world 😂 it was wild and very rewarding!
Love this idea. I love the AITA thread. My only problem has always been basically what you said at the end, labeling people vs behaviors is a bit sticky. I think the format of this video was great, I loved your insight. The only thing that would have made it better for me is if the video was longer, either covering more stories or more in depth analysis. Love what you do! Have a great day!!
I know a lot of people are like "nooo your art's not shitty" but like YES. Make Shitty art! Shitty art is amazing! We need to demystify the creative process, people have to stop being scared of creating because they're "not good" or sharing their art because it's "shit."
Make art.
Make shitty art.
Make amazing art!
Make amazing shitty art!
Or... All art is good art. All of it has importance
@Salty Dino Nuggies That was literally op’s point
Yes!! It took me sooo long to realise that good art isn't just the art that's objectively good to look at/listen to/read! The only criterium good art has to meet is it has to be liked by someone. If YOU like your own art it's already good art, even if "objectively" it's in the shitty category
THIS. It's also awesome to enjoy singing and dancing if you're not good at them!
@@kwiggy5091 YESSS!! there's this tumblr post somewhere (ik tumblr is a bit cringe but this post is right) saying how sad it is that basic human behaviours like singing and dancing became things you only do to be good at them. No!! Jump around your room to your favourite song and bump into everything clumsily and sing along with your voice that might or might not hit the notes perfectly but it's still a precious human voice made for singing!
"I know there are questions about some of the artwork"
Me: staring at "bye bye horse" YES
my first thought was a scene from the dreamworks movie Spirit.
I definitely thought it was a reference to a former heroin addict
I want to know about Dag Dag.
@@frogginarround2288 i think it means hello in simlish
Maybe she's an hbomberguy fan?
Yes, stay out of your kids therapy. Kids need a safe space to express their genuine feelings.
And if the kid is looking over their shoulder for a parent to stick their head in, or making sure to keep their voice down can make them not able to open up in therapy
Everyone needs privacy. Respecting your children's privacy can help them trust you more. The more you pry the more the child (or anyone) will shut down
I might have been able to get help as a teen if my parents weren’t brought into the room in the last 10 minutes of each session to discuss the topics brought up during the rest of the session. It made me scared to actually talk about my abuse. It was terribly invasive and put me off of therapy for years.
i would feel uncomfortable even if i had my own private room with a lock that i could use for online therapy, i just don't have the trust and sense of privacy to be comforable with that. it took me so long to find a therapist because i started looking into beginning therapy during the pandemic when most practitioners only offered online services.
My kid is too young for therapy right now, and seems pretty well adjusted. But I am planning on therapy for her, and relieved by the idea that she can have someone unbiased to express herself to. I don't want to be overly involved, except in ways the therapist thinks would be helpful for her.
"my mom comes into the basement to ' do laundry' when I'm talking to my therapist". why do i think that if this child kept a diary their mom would read it?
Because her mom would read it. Her mother sounds like mine was, where since it was HER house, we didn't get privacy. My feeling is that that was pretty normal 20 years ago, but I could be wrong. I think it's less common now, and no matter what, therapy should ALWAYS be private unless otherwise agreed upon!!
Mental health care needs to be made much more affordable in the US.
Having said that, the mother of that seventeen year old girl, who barges in on her during remote therapy sessions, needs to be thinking much less about whether she's getting her damned money's worth and much more about the affect of her behavior on her daughter.
This pandemic sure has taken away a lot of options that children and teens used to have to cope with toxic behavior from their parents. And that in itself has surely taken a toll on young people even if their parents aren't routinely assholes--which I'm not saying that that girl's mother is.
it's also just a great way to get your child to resent you and disengage/drive them away/trigger them to engage in self-destructive behaviours (eg smoking, drinking, etc) later on as a response to excessive control. children are their own human beings with thoughts and emotions, and they deserve a private space to explore those in a safe environment (same goes for why looking through your child's diary or constantly asking where they are is bad). let your child have time to process their feelings, create an environment where feelings are shared & not judged and I virtually guarantee the child will actually open up more.
As someone who went through the IB/AP hell-labyrinth and had parents who were pressuring to the point of abuse about grades, a parent complaining that therapy is taking away from study time is a reeeeeeddddddd flag for me.
@@cielmilstrey2033 I always say well they won’t have time for school or therapy if you find them dead in their room cause of the pressure you put on them :) sometimes you just gotta be real with these shitty parents and tell them the truth about the consequences of their irrational actions.
I haven’t seen the rest of the video but I had no idea how much I needed to hear that first story. I have adhd so I sometimes go off on tangents without realizing and it’s wonderful to have someone like my therapist who will listen without judgement. Oftentimes my tangents will lead me to something I didn’t know I needed to talk about, so not only are they beneficial to me for social reasons, they can be productive in the mental health aspect as well. Not that they need to be, I just find that sometimes they lead to deeper conversations I didn’t know I needed to have :)
And sometimes I just rant about some random shit like Anne Boleyn because I’m a writer and a history nerd so I often write about her! So it’s important to my life!
I find this reassuring I don't have adhd but I have a similar thing where i just ramble uncontrollably and I keep worrying it's holding me back in therapy because the hour just goes by s o quickly
honestly same. I'm currently getting evaluated for adhd and even if I don't have it everyone is pretty sure that I'm very much not neurotypical, and most of my tangents go somewhere important or fill in details better for the important nearby topic. This has been especially helpful for me as I recently got a new counselor (my old one, because she worker through my university, couldn't see me as often as I needed or ive me more complete aid), and it's helped my new counselor get a feel for me, and her reactions have helped me get a feel for her.
Yes! I do this too lol. It’s very healing and it’s great for building trust with your therapist too! Talk therapy is truly magical lol
Yes! I do this constantly and I’m always apologizing to my therapist (I also have a problem with constantly apologizing too though for basically just existing- so there’s that lol)
“For accessibility reasons, I want to rread them out loud.” Thank you. I’ve found a lot of channels that don’t bother to think about accessibility so I appreciate that you took that in to account.
Yeah, same here. As someone who is blind and enjoys a lot of channels where I have to sometimes guess what is being put up on the screen, it is really nice to not have to do that here.
I got a therapist when I was a kid, and at first I was really open, but a few sessions in I found out my mom was being told about the stuff I said, and in turn she was telling my dad and maybe others. I clammed up. Never talked about personal deep stuff again in those sessions, and they were pretty much a failure.
I'm so sorry to hear that your privacy was violated in that way. I hope you find another person who can help you work through those feelings of betrayal.
Yeah it took me 6 months to mention to my therapist that I'm going through the worst breakup of my life... first I had to talk at length about why I never put away my laundry and the steps I'm taking to fix that lmao
for me i'm the opposite i launch straight into deep trauma like "woo here we go" (but that's probs because I have had so many bad therapists i'm like right here is my life story are we vibing or no cos i don't wanna waste my time xD)
mine tend to rush me😕community health that's why-- and medicaid😔
Relatable! I literally told my therapist how great my relationships were for months before finally just exposing everything like a magician doing a magic trick. 😂
Does anyone else low-key LOVE the Sims picture behind Mickey?
love that she must be a fellow simmer too! dag dag haha
Dag dag!
Yaaasss Dag Dag!
High key but yes lol
Suulsuul
Thank you for saying it’s the therapist’s responsibility to keep things on track. My last therapist talked about her dogs for the majority of the final sessions we had (we had worked through a minor issue before that). I finally got comfortable and brought up some deep shit at the end of a session because I was too nervous to dig into it (and was waiting for a non-dog moment to bring it up if I’m being honest), and the very next session we went back to talking about dogs and she said that I had improved on the original minor problem and didn’t need therapy anymore. I have, until now, thought it was my fault for talking about fluff topics so much. Bleh.
About the first point, my mom does sort of the same thing. I've stopped telling her about funny things that happen in sessions because she tends to say something like "oh so I'm paying your therapist to talk about xyz instead of x thing that you should be talking about?" But in reality, I've never trusted a therapist more, and the funny jokes we make and the tv shows we have bonded over makes me WANT to come back and also make it easier for me to talk about the deep dark recesses of my brain. I'm glad that I can go into a session with something that I need to bring up and know that I'll probably have both that figured out and have a laugh by the end.
Therapy when I was 16 vs 24 has been very different. When I was first starting, it was a lot of building trust and getting the experience of finally talking to someone about myself. At 24, my therapy is still conversational, but is a lot more "clinical" in this phase of my life. I am not needing the human connection as much as the problem-solving and tool building.
Same for me
On the first story, it's definitely agreed it's not the child's place to figure this stuff out regarding their treatment. One of my kids' therapist and I had a great conversation about this several weeks into treatment because my kid was still only talking surface level and the therapist was concerned she may need to refer my kid to another provider who may make a better fit and get her to open up more. So I asked if she's allowed to tell me what they talk about. She did. I explained to her that's more than my kid has talked to me about in the years since we'd fled their abusive father, so as a parent, I was thrilled she was making so much progress in just getting my child to talk and build rapport about anything because that meant that she felt comfortable going to her when she was ready. My kid can't even talk to her teachers when she doesn't understand her homework because her anxiety is so bad, so the fact that she's built up to talking a half hour a week with her therapist is a major success in my book. So yeah it is the therapist's job to suss it out because they their profession, and it is the parent's job to be supportive and help the therapist make decisions because the parent generally speaking knows their kid better and ideally, that makes a great team. Obviously, that's not what's going on here with the mom barging in on the kids' sessions. Laundry can wait. Your kids' health is so much more important than clothes and so her privacy with her therapist.
Yessss AITA is often telling people to break up with partners. I like reading AITA or relationship advice subs but the comments aren't always good.
I’ve heard this too! We might try r/relationshipadvice too since this video seems well received! 🥳
@@MickeyAtkins A couple of days ago there was an aita post from a man saying he and his girlfriend couldn't decide where the dogs should sleep in their new house, and the top comment was saying they will probably break up because they can't agree on 'obviously important' matters. It's wild!
@@malenixius Hopefully posters are able to take the advice with a grain of salt. If reading the extreme comments makes them think, "Wait, I don't want to break up with my girlfriend over this," it could be a good way for them to decide that it is worth it to try harder to compromise.
That one was hard, though. Dog owners (like the girlfriend and commenters) can be super protective of their relationship with their pets and it didn't seem like the girlfriend was willing to compromise at all.
You might want to look at r/legaladvice as well. Someone suggests going there for advice and an army falls over itself to explain that only cops and pretender lawyers are on the subreddit and that the cops only give advice that could get the person in deeper shit if they follow it.
Oof. Installed a new keyboard and still don't know how to get a comma 😂 (it's typewise btw)
I think talking about media with your therapist can be helpful because media can affect you. For an obvious example, a lot of my friends like a show that has some things that are triggering for me and I discussed it with my therapist. Even if you are not affected like that by a piece of media it still is good to discuss ideas that you see in your everyday life whether it is in media or online
I could see horror being especially rich territory for discussing fears and coping strategies. I say this as a non horror fan. I imagine fans could find all sorts of meaning in it.
I met a man who has full custody of his two teenaged kids. I moved in with them three years ago after living by myself for over a decade. About two months ago, I was having anxiety all the time and was feeling overwhelmed. I had decided that it was me and some issues rather than them. I found a wonderful therapist that is helping me through the issues and I feel like I've been kinder to the kids and the household feels so much easier. I'm glad I came across this channel and this particular video. I am a definite example of how kids can be troubled because the parent is troubled. EDIT: By the way, I love your shitty art, especially the SIMS one!
If you did any more reactions to the AITA sub I would absolutely listen! Therapists have such a good 3rd person view of situations and I love hearing your advice.
The first reaction was super validating. I have often get fixated on productivity and I want therapy to be productive too.
As a child, I had court-mandated therapy. I refused to talk, so every session, the therapist would explain a beautiful place he had visited in his life. After a year of treatment, I had only talked back to him twice, but he had changed me in ways that I wouldn't understand for years to come. Now when I plan for my dreams, I still think about the places he told me about and when ill get to see them myself one day. He gave me a vision to look towards and taught me it was okay to be silent. He wouldn't leave cuz I wasn't doing what I was "supposed " to do. He gave me a dream to push towards, to thrive towards. I will never be able to express how thankful I am for the time he spent with me every week.
Edit: Sadly, therapy with him ended since he refused to tell my adoption mother what I was saying, so she declined to extend the service after the mandate.
I love your advice on the first one (17yo asking if it’s ok to talk about non-MH topics with therapist) I’d like to add that this is not only totally acceptable, but it’s also super common and useful for children and teenagers especially! It’s already tough for them and if they can bond in any way with their therapist, that’s extremely beneficial for them!
Best thing I ever did for my child’s therapy was to ask her if she wanted me there for the first one…and then once she felt she was comfortable with the therapist, I took a step back. I drop her off, she has a phone to call me if she needs me (I’m right outside in the car), and she has grown in ways I never thought I’d see. Never poke your nose in other peoples therapy; just because you’re their parent don’t mean you deserve to know all their business.
I mean when I was a kid my mother used to barge in on me doing _anything_ . Knocking was (and remains to be) a foreign concept, in fact our doors were never shut, always either sort of ajar, or you know, when there's no space between the door and the threshold but the handle is still not turned and the tongue of the lock is visible. I never understood this as I never had anything to hide, I was a good kid, no smoking no drugs no alcohol no tentacle anime, but sometimes I would have liked some privacy, especially since the TV was always on in the other room and I would have appreciated the noise canceled by the door being fully fucking shut. Anyway, I thought I should have gotten used to this but as I turned 18, the feeling kept getting worse around other people. Now that I'm an adult, still with nothing to hide, I get nervous when people stand behind my computer screen or stand too close to me and it's become a literal trigger when people leave the door ajar as they leave.
I haven't been living at home for 9 years, when I go for a dinner and sleep over, it's like I'm 10 again, but not in the sense that I feel safe, more like in the sense that nothing has changed, my mother will walk in and open the windows and stuff without question and the only thing I can fight this is, well, with not living at home.
As someone who has trauma surrounding my family and what therapy controlled by my family means the idea of that boundary being breached absolutely horrified me. HIPAA for God’s sake!
I often ramble in therapy, I have no friends and no one besides my husband to talk to, and I don’t like boggling him with every single thought I have (although he encourages me to, I married a gem of a man I’ll tell ya) so often times in therapy, I will ramble about things but it almost always makes me introspect into why something made me feel the way I did, why I relate to something, etc. as someone who grew up extremely isolated, I have no social skills and no friendships to rely on thus my therapist actually helps me learn how to socialize as well as ease the anxiety I have associated with it.
I once took a 30min nap at the therapist’s office. My schedule was stressfully busy, I had to travel 1h each direction to the therapist, and a nap is what I needed. It was amazing.
11:00 YES!! My mom was--and is--a wonderful parent who struggled with anorexia and dieting before she had me. It seeped into my childhood in the form of splenda, diet pepsi, and constantly going on new diets. I can't blame her for that, but now I can't eat more than 600 calories a day. Doesn't make you a bad parent to have issues, but they SHOULD be worked on so this stuff doesn't happen.
I started trauma therapy last week n watching you helped me sooo much getting started. You humanized therapists for me. I had a terrible experience with my old psychiatrist who I saw for 5 years and started my mental health journey with. (I am seeing a new one now thank goodness!) but I wanted to thank you ❤️❤️❤️❤️ I feel like I can actually be honest with her thinking of her as a human rather than a person there to police me n drop me if I say the wrong thing (that’s what happened with my old one).
Oh my god I’m so honored! Seriously, I’m so happy and proud for you and I’m just glad I could help in some small way! Thats cool as hell that you’re feeling more comfortable!!
For the first story: my therapist has been talking to me about my coping skills when I start to spiral out or have an anxiety attack. Some of those coping skills are very “therapy like” such as deep breathing and visualization. However, most of my coping skills are stuff like: read a book, watch anime, play video games. This is also a new therapist, so we’re taking our time with the childhood trauma part, so right now most of our sessions are her asking what my current book is about, or how far am I in my current video game? What anime/manga can I recommend her? After we hash out what my most recent stressers were that week we go over my coping skills, and yeah part of that is just shooting the shit about the latest anime I watched.
About the first one, I'm in therapy and I often wonder if I'm being too off-topic sometimes. Like others, I have ADHD as well as a plethora of issues to deal with, so I constantly question myself about whether or not I'm "doing it right." But I started thinking about it, and I realized some things. Firstly, a good therapist can usually see the things you're dealing with even if you're just talking about your everyday life. Books, TV shows, movies, music, etc. are all part of who we are and how we see the world. How we react to these things can also speak to our experiences in the past. During my last session, I was talking about a song from my favorite band. My therapist let me talk about my interest, but then she asked me things like, "What is the song about? Why does it affect you so deeply? Was there an experience in your life that you've tied to it?" That's when I realized that not all therapy is like the media, where you lay on a couch and talk about your parents constantly. A lot of it is learning about yourself, and discussing your interests is a great way to do that.
Secondly, sometimes people have trouble talking to others about ANYTHING. I was taught that, "Just because someone asks how you're doing, it doesn't mean they actually want to hear about it. They're just being polite and you shouldn't burden them with your problems." So having someone listen to me talk about seemingly unimportant things IS part of my therapy. It's helping me to learn that there are people out there with a genuine interest in ME, as a person. That's very important work.
i dont know why but "weet woo" is really speaking to me
Me: See's "Dag Dag" artwork
Also me: SUL SUL.
I am not at all surprised my favourite game is up there. That is one piece I have zero questions about.
In dutch dag means day but dag dag is a way of saying goodbye (probably a shortening of good day / goeiedag)
@WingedYera "Dag" means 'day', but it can also mean 'bye'. "Dag dag" is just "bye bye", although people don't really say that.
@@cleargreen123456789 that's literally what I was trying to say..but also I think dag dag is said but its mostly a kiddo thing. Zeg maar dag dag
In the first one I think it's especially true that it's not the clients responsibility to make sure they're working through problems because they were only 17.
In the second one I think a possibly more productive conversation would have been asking why he didn't want to go to therapy. My first Therapy experience was as a child with my mom forcing me to go like "hey your sister is putting us all through hell from her mental health stuff so go ONCE and talk to a stranger you have no report with to see if this is effecting you". (It definitely was but the therapist gave me a "clean bill of health")Then my 2nd experience was much later as an adult and the therapist being SUPER invalidading and basically saying "that's normal life stress get over yourself". So yeah thankfully my Therapist now is great but people can have legit reasons why they don't trust therapy or think it won't be valuable.
and, just as concerning, children and adults can be survivors of abuse or toxic behaviours by therapists or the wider healthcare system as professionals are humans and not immune to behaving in appalling ways. therapy is also something that doesn't occur in any of our other human relationships, so some resistance and hesitance is pretty normal and natural especially when seeing a therapist for the first time, after several "meh"/unhelpful therapists, or when meeting a new therapist.
Ah yes, the 1st one reminds me of my parents cutting off therapy sessions because I wasn't progressing "how they wanted." Fun fact - eating disorders take months to YEARS to address. It's a lifetime struggle, it doesn't fix itself magically. I ended up having to pay myself, which now I'm struggling financially. But then again parents and their invalidation if we don't suffer just like they did in the 1980s 💕
I kinda want to see you react to the therapy scenes from Haunting of Hill House (the Netflix series). Nell's therapist in episode 5 is generally considered to be bad and not saying the right things, but it would be nice to see what a real therapist thinks and what a real professional would say in those sessions.
And id love to see her take on all the poor traumatized kids in hill house and bly manor!
Yea and analyse the scene with theo as a psychiatrist
You unintentionally answered a question I've always had. Do therapists need therapy too? And yes it makes so much sense. Everyone can get the help if they need it
as a teen (technically a kid so i get to dump this) in therapy, i actually really get why you wouldn't want to work with kids all that often. my parents haven't yet realized that i'm allowed to keep what happens in therapy to myself if i wish, which has been really fun. their willingness factor to put effort in to help me is also zero. i actually didn't see a therapist for 6 months because my mom was, amazingly, preventing us from anything. there were a lot of issues, and i'm gonna try to do it differently this time. parents are so problematic.
Oh, the second story is tough. My mom had anorexia and it certainly messed with my eating habits. She was not making any effort to avoid affecting me negatively. With that being said, I also know people who have trauma from therapy. I guess generally speaking, you should try to avoid messing up your kids too much, but you also can't force anyone into therapy and you can't expect everyone to go to therapy.
I’m not convinced that second guy was doing anything wrong. Maybe this is just me, but when he said “I told her I wouldn’t go because it gives me bad memories” I heard “I’m not emotionally ready to deal with some things and I’d rather not go to therapy.” Her response was then to deny him his physical home space of their bedroom and then deny him contact by spending the night elsewhere. Notice how in the edit he says he received some helpful advice that allowed him to make step towards doing something he’s obviously scared of doing. Of course there are two sides to every story, but it just doesn’t seem like he was that bad at all.
Yes!He was not wrong at all. This is weird how some people were making him a villian. He must have some emotional triggers,that's why he didnt want to go there. But his gf's reaction was wild! How can you force your partner to leave his bad and sleep on the couch?! You dont have that right. That was rude and awful behaviour from her. Just because she was pregnant doesn't justify rude behaviours. If the gender was reversed,things would have been called different.
Omg thank you so much for sounding out the date, I'm not personally visually impaired, but whenever I see a RUclipsr just put the words on the screen and I always feel like that must be SO ANNOYING for anyone who is visually impaired and can't make out the words on the screen. Thank you Mickey ❤️
I love aita and I'm so excited to see an actual professional opinion! Would love to see this become a series if you enjoy doing these videos
Ah yes on the children’s therapy thing! Even though I’m 22, the reason I’ve consistently gone to therapy since I was 14 is because of my relationship with my parents. The session is great but then I have to go back to the source of my depression and anxiety once it’s over. It’s a never ending cycle. It’s much better now that I’ve moved out though!
Same, I had a lot of trouble breaking out of certain cycles and mindsets because I'd go home feeling good, but then I'd get sucked back into everything that was going on with me and my parents.
I went to a few therapy sessions when I was 16. I didn't really stick with it because it was painfully awkward. I wanted to go to therapy because I knew something wasn't okay with me but didn't know what it exactly was so I just sat there, awkwardly. I'm now 20 and very much aware of my problems. I'm definitely starting therapy soon because I have so much shit to say. I'm gonna plop down and be like "honey, I need to know if I have ADHD.".
I thought Mickey might’ve painted the little background paintings, but knowing that she does makes me really happy lol.
It’s not “shitty” art if you have fun making it! :p
The slow pace created by you reading it out loud is good for people with my limitations. I'm sure there are other people with sensory issues and slow processing and/or anxiety with things happening too fast.
12:38 - YES!!! Thank you!!
And just a PSA: DO NOT GO TO THERAPY WITH YOUR ABUSER.
I was very happy to talk to my therapist about music and comic books. It really segwayed comfortably into some deeper issues regarding my mental health. I appreciated the hell out of it.
I would like a 'what the fuck is wrong with Jessica' artwork on the wall , it would be so funny.
Totally agree on the first one. One of my favourite things about my therapist is that we are able to communicate about really anything and its great because it makes me feel comfortable.
I remember one time I was telling her about this game that I'd been playing that is incredibly story based and how you have to make a very big decision at the beginning. I told her what my decision was and my reasoning behind it; then I told her about how the mayor of the town it affected responded. Even though it might seem mundane her input actually changed my perspective and opened up my mind a bit more.
I love this so much! It truly warms my heart hearing y’all’s stories of your positive and healthy interactions with your therapists 🥰
I enjoy this sub and am looking forward to an actually reasonably unbiased look at some posts!
Love the new layout btw!
I have 2 painting ideas I think you'd like
- a yin and yang with the white side saying "do no harm" and the black side saying "take no shit" (balance of boundaries, self respect, and kindness)
- "take it easy, but take it"
Best thing I ever heard about having therapy suggested (over and over) to you is that it's like being offered a breath mint.
i like that subreddit but the comment section can be the worst thing ever lol i'm glad we're not even glancing towards it in this video lol
I really enjoy the format that you're speaking in...I also think this is an important topic. I had the realization after watching your video reviewing the way therapy was portrayed in tv shows that 90% of my anxiety about going to therapy was from terrible representations of it in the media. Having someone explain the nuances of this kind of stuff is helpful for viewing situations more critically.
“Either you’re in denial or you’re a f**king liar” 😂
The first one somehow got me.
I was forced to go to a therapist in my teens, because I wasn't cooperative at home. Mind you, I was an angel in school, I was a perfectly brave kid at all my frequent doctors visits, just at home I was an ungrateful little *** (thanks to this channel I just learned about parentification, but I already knew I hated it then).
The therapist tried to get through my armour by playing board games and then every time when I was just having fun probed me with all those leading questions about my home and my family and immediately I froze and shut up like a clam.
I didn't need that. I needed a safe space to be a child.
I haven't gone to therapy since, even though I probably should.
So if you have a therapist you trust? And a person to talk about hobbies with? In one? Don't let that go if you don't want to and are able to.
I really relate to the first story. I have ADHD and Autism and I tend to do alot of info-dumping about my hyperfixations and special interest. I oy tend to do when I'm in therapy, because I dont want to annoy my friends and family, as that has happend in the past.
I tend to not mention what happens in my therapy sessions, because my parents tend to quiz me on what I talk about. So I know where that girl is coming from. I would say she isn't the asshole.
(Sorry for the long tangent.)
I infodump when I perceive tension or I'm increasingly anxious.
So many of us do it that I get more and more suspicious of people accusing me of being an asshole or angry when I do it. I'm anxious because of something someone said so I'm trying to make things more pleasant by rattling off about a shared tv show we both enjoy or talking about something the group agrees upon for lower pressure for all of us.
It really just seems like some odd shift in social etiquette that suddenly it's not good for some of us who use this as a comfort and diversion. It's like the Victorians inventing new rules to torture people.
I like this format! Do more Reddit reactions! I like the level of detail and backstory a lot more than the quippy stuff from like Pinterest and TikTok. Also, love the idea of a making shitty art livestream, though I probably won't be able to make it
3:35 thank you I honestly needed to hear that.
I love the first thread that you chose. I needed to hear that because my therapist will sometimes just sit and let me cry because I don't really do that. So it's nice to hear that I'm not doing therapy wrong.
Not familiar with AITA, but as always I appreciate your gentleness and thoughtfulness around responding to these posts!
I wish she had spoken to the point of (paraphrased) "I'm very busy. My mom says maybe I shouldn't be in therapy if I don't have time to walk the dog."
Re: the first story, I have kind of an ebb and flow to my therapy sessions where I will talk about something serious until I am tired and then I will tell her about something cute that my kids are doing that's new. My therapist will engage for about 5 minutes or so and then bring me back to the serious topic for a while until I need another break. That's just our pattern because I definitely need those breaks in the conversation.
I was worried when I saw this video but I shouldn't have been. One of the things I've had pointed out is that a lot of the time the AITA posts are missing some key information that one would need to judge if someone's behaviour was inappropriate or justified. But of course you came at this from a thoughtful, instructional place. Another great video
Which they conveniently add only when their faults are pointed out 🙄
@@paisleesheppard5629 Exactly. More context is ALWAYS added in the edits. It's usually just them trying to cover their ass.
The part about parents needing to reflect on their own issues is so true, i am on the child side of that, which makes it really hard to talk about my issues with them :/
As an observation on the last story, while I understand the partner also brought up the idea of going to therapy, I wonder how beneficial therapy will be if the partner is the one finding the therapist/ seems to be investing the emotional labor into getting the poster to go. Just because there is a point where you can't help someone if they're not on board to try
Um, so this kinda has nothing to do with the video, but I recently found out that I probably have like two disorders. They're not very well known so I feel like I should talk about them. One is called misophonia and the other is called Body Focused Repetative Behaviour (BFRB). Misophonia is basically when you have a really intense reaction to common sounds (typically sounds close family make). The reaction can be like crying or rage. Some sounds that is very commonly reacted to is eating and breathing. Another example could be hearing someone sing. BFRB is typically associated with OCD or anxiety, but it can be completely on it's own. Basically you repeat an action to your body to the point that it causes you harm. Typical repetitive behaviour is: Pulling your hair out until you start balding prematurely, picking your nose until you bleed, biting your nails until you get an infection, picking at your skin until you bleed. So yeah this has been my Ted talk.
Fellow misophonia-haver! It’s a crappy disorder because people look at you like you’re crazy when you’re super irritated by an otherwise benign sound. Stuff like chewing, breathing, pets licking makes me SO stressed and agitated and people get annoyed at me for being irritated by it... especially when it’s other people’s pets 😬
@@ThisIsNotMyPassword Yeah I've kinda learnt to just leave if it gets really bad. I've heard music can help though. Like, it'll distract your brain from focusing on the noise.
For the misophonia stuff : it might be worth while to look into something like reusable noise reducing earplugs. I’ve seen this brand ‘loop’ and they have a noise canceling one and a noice reducing one. Plus they look pretty cool. The point is, for me with my anxiety I get really overwhelmed by all the noises and smells etc. going on in my house (I still live with my parents) so I’m mostly in my room all the time. But I think being able to filter out some of the noise without it affecting your ability to hear a conversation or something like that could be really helpful. It filters out all the smaller noises like breathing and I’m pretty sure it could reduce noises from chewing, but since conversations make more noise you will still be able to hear that.
Parent who has both been in therapy and has a teenager receiving help. What are some non intrusive questions I can ask? I know they have a right to privacy ect. I just want to show that I do care and gauge if they are ok. I know sessions can be really hard sometimes. From my kids responses, I am failing to get the balance right. (For the record, I don't bust in or anything like that).
Because I don’t know your kids I can’t really say what they would be comfortable with. As a person who goes to therapy with a mom who never understood I think I always wanted her just to tell me that she was there and if things got hard to let her know. I think yah don’t necessarily ask because they might not wanna talk about it, as you said therapy can be really emotionally challenging sometimes, but just being there for them and saying hey if you had a hard day today I’m here for you I love you I’m proud of you and stuff like that. Personally I’ve always opened up more to people who don’t push me with questions that I’m not comfortable answering and just let me know that they’re there to listen if I want to talk.
Me: sees title
Also Me: *just left AITA*
well shit.
lol yh, I recently got permabanned from R/AITA because I tried to talk about mental health
@@alexmarian4642 whaaaat??? I've noticed they've gotten some new overzealous mods recently. I got a couple of totally innocuous comments removed by one specific mod. I was making jokes that were well received by everyone else on the thread so I'm not really sure why my comments got removed. When I asked I got no response at all which sucks.
I am so excited for the livestream!! I can't wait to hear the meaning behind your "Put a *picture of a crow* on it" piece.
love this idea, just an idea for when your reading the post, maybe highlight key points on the screenshot, it’s a lot of text on the screen and lots of words to listen to, I know for me that’d help a lot with staying engaged/not distracted
Loved this video! I think this kind of thing helps people see that therapy is for everyone and is useful for everyday life situations and to help overcome the stigma that therapy is only for "crazy people". As an aside, your hair looks absolutely gorgeous today.
so happy you uploaded :) your videos are always the best
I'd love to see more reactions!
I'm also super interested if you'd react to HealthyGamerGG's content. I'm genuinely so confused around the ethics. It looks like he's live streaming therapy sessions and talking about his clients in youtube videos??
If you want to look at anything in particular, there's an 'interview' with Sasha Grey from a month ago, where at about 5 minutes in she questions the ethics and he responds... weirdly. There's also a recent video "hiring dr k to deal with entitled parents' in which he blabs about a "patient's" story. I'd be super interested to see a comparison of this with what therapy is actually like, and what the restrictions actually are (at least in your area) seeing as the line is very blurred. Kinda hoping my new therapist doesn't talk about my experiences on youtube lol!
that's... that's illegal
WTF! Boosting this comment so Mickey sees it!
Thank you for this episode! Love from Poland ♡
I adore this format! I just wish the videos were longer. That's not to say you SHOULD make them longer if that's not something you want to do or it's not feasible with your life or schedule, but I could listen to these all day haha. Keep up the good work!
Wow, your channel is growing so fast! I just want to say congrats and I hope it continues to grow. :)
okay just wanted to say i LOVE the dag dag sims painting!! it made me laugh hahaha
The one counselor I liked just talked a lot. For a little while I thought it was pointless because I would think of the "big stuff" during the week, but I would end up talking about the things that upset me that morning or something. Eventually though I saw a change, because she found little ways to tie it back to bigger things and chipping away at unhealthy behaviors. I miss her.
With the second story, I understand suggesting to someone that they go to therapy but the girlfriend is trying to force OP to go and I feel like that’s messed up. I guess the only thing the could justify it is if OP is making their child eat a certain way but there’s not enough information for that and I feel like the OP and their girlfriend would’ve had a conversation about that on their own. It seems like the girlfriend is just listening to the advice of her friends instead thinking about OP in all of this too. I understand that if you have a child, you need to take responsibility for them but that doesn’t necessarily mean they personally need therapy. It sounds more like they might need family therapy or something.
Hi!! I'm loving this format! I can use your video as a podcast and didn't lose any information ♥️
Keep the good work! I enjoy your channel a lot!
3:46
Legit, for 15 minutes with my therapist I spoke about how I can not get along with republicans and my politics bc it needed to be out there, ya know. It was a long tangent and he had to refocus me because before that we were talking about something I needed to go deeper into. It was quite funny now that I think about it.
Me: Those fucking people won't let me live!
My therapist: Let's get back to (deep topic that I got distracted off of).
I can't talk to Republicans about anything deeper than "How long does it take you to get to work?" because I don't think most of them consider me human. The wheelchair immediately makes them see me as sub- whatever- they-are
So you really are building a sleeve on your right arm! Awesome 😄
For the first story, I think it’s awesome that the OP clearly has a good relationship with their therapist and I hope their mom steps back.
As a pre teen, my own mother would drag me to therapy to “fix” me. But it was her therapist and she would sit in on the sessions. So I obviously felt ganged up on and it was all about how I was this bad teen with no mention of my mother’s mental instability and how she had been bringing me into dangerous situations, bringing unsafe men home, and leaving me to watch my brother overnight since I was a child. And that’s just scratching the surface.
And unfortunately, it really turned me off therapy for years after because of that experience.
Love your videos! I really liked your rant on "Pandemic Pounds"/fat phobia. I would love to hear your commentary on sexualization of women in society. I find I am sexualized a lot and it has been difficult when trying to date. This is something I am currently talking about in therapy and other opinions would be much appreciated. Thanks for this informative channel!! Take care! L
Therapy at your own pace is so important! I went through an awful amount of emotional stress and anxiety to find a job in my field in 2021, but I lost the job because I wasn’t a superstar at it in the first three weeks (an insane timeline to truly grow into a whole new position and work environment). Although I knew my firing was not my fault and I did my best, it was still a hard blow because I really wanted a good job in my field. I also really wanted a job that would pay me enough to get me away from a crap apartment and a crap roommate.
I took a lot longer to recover than I expected, and when my dad learned that I was still taking time off before leaping back into the job hunt, he said I was “wallowing,” and that my therapist was “enabling” me for not telling me to get right back on the horse. I felt so small and so angry when my dad tried to tell me what was right for my own mental well-being, although he had no touch with what I was feeling and that he had never been in a therapy session with me. That’s why I never tell him anymore what’s happening in therapy or anything really, because I know he will try to gaslight me or minimalize what I’m going through.
The 2nd story was really interesting to me, made me think a lot. I am currently annoyed that my fiance won't go to therapy even though he needs it badly, but I also won't go... I think its time we try to find somewhere to go together and we can hold each others hands through it instead of me just getting annoyed. I'm sure he doesn't want to go for the same reasons I don't want to - maybe we can be stronger together. Also never thought about tele-health.
8:35 - Actually, I think it's very much both here *and* there that someone's mother is barging into her daughter's therapy appointments - a therapist should make clear that is NOT acceptable!!
I want the classic "that is neathier here or there" frase hahaha, both in a painting and a t-shirt
I really really this the way it is but would would also love it to be a bit longer! I really enjoy your content and would definitely like longer videos, but I feel like you are probably keeping them short to make them more doable for yourself or for accessibility reasons, which makes sense!
If you talked about this all day I would listen all day.
Thank you for this one. I told my therapist about your channel she said she would check it out. i hope she does.
I always click on a new video.
I love AITA reaction videos, and with it being tied to mental health, yes pls more of this. : )
I’ve actually had that experience before with my bf that he didn’t want to go to therapy for a while because he had the experience that you explained of therapy being used by adults to escape their own responsibility as parents. But we started encountering problems in our relationships due to some underlying trauma he had from his childhood and teen years. Working through that even for a couple of months really helped our relationship and I notice so much improvement in him. I highly recommend therapy always and it doesn’t always have to be the sit down and talk kind, I’m someone who prefers stuff like CBT or DBT myself.
This was awesome ❤️ Would you consider making this into a series/doing more AITA videos?
I am so in for this video🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿
I don't know if anybody needs to hear this, but it's ok to tell your therapist that you don't want to continue with them. If you don't feel heard or you feel that you just don't get along, tell them. They're there for you and you need to be ok with them being there. It can even be really stupid things that have nothing to do with the therapy. It's probably good to tell your next therapist why you didn't want to continue though.
Honestly I did the same thing as the poster from the first story with a therapist that I already had rapport and trust with, and she fully engaged and discussed it with me. And then she made me realize why I find horror so comforting and how it helps me cope with how I experience the world 😂 it was wild and very rewarding!
Love this idea. I love the AITA thread. My only problem has always been basically what you said at the end, labeling people vs behaviors is a bit sticky.
I think the format of this video was great, I loved your insight. The only thing that would have made it better for me is if the video was longer, either covering more stories or more in depth analysis.
Love what you do! Have a great day!!
more of these please!! i love AITA 😄