Same way Daniel Radcliffe in "The Woman in Black" (filmed in 2010 when he was 21) got to be a solicitor (lawyer) in Edwardian England whose wife had died in childbirth 4 years ago. When a movie wants to cast a young actor in a role, they really don't care whether the numbers add up or the actor looks anywhere near old enough to have had their character's backstory :)
Mr. Frizzyhead So? An entire species of animal that shouldn’t even exist dying on an island? And if you’re that concerned about it, you can just grown another set. There isn’t a point to any of this.
And do what with them? Releasing them on another island would only destroy the local ecosystem. Hammond's vision in the second movie is to let them take their course, which includes the possibility of extinction by narurai forces
Lol the part when he talks about Zia is my favorite part. I like some of the points he makes about her character. Hollywood is trying to make strong female characters but they come off kind of douchey and have a chip on their shoulder and sometimes try to be tough to prove a point in scenes when no one is challenging them in the first place. I'm a woman and even I find that incredibly annoying. They try to hard for them to seem independent and it comes off really cheesy and forced. Just let them be a character you don't have to cater to a specific audience for them to like her.
I liked Fallen Kingdom the first time I watched it. The 2nd viewing made me realize that it was a rather massive piece of junk. Zia is supposed to be a dinosaur veterinarian, and yet she’s never even seen a dinosaur in person. Seriously?!
@@TeeaVixen Same, I wanted that bitch to die, which just shows how shitty the writers were because she's a great actress but the writing and direction she got sucked ass.
“I’m not as soft and witless as your comment implies.” 5 min earlier: *runs out of vehicle, leaving doors wide open, putting everyone in possible danger* Nope, not witless at all.
Jurassic Park 1: "This movie is amazing!" Jurassic Park 2: "Pretty good sequel, it should end here." Jurassic Park 3: "Umm, we didn't really ask for this." *some time later* "I guess that's it, whew that's a relief." Jurassic World: "Oh shit, just as Ian Malcolm predicted." Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom: "OH MY FUCK, MAKE IT STOP! YOU'VE REACHED GOD TIER LEVEL OF DUMBASS!"
@Pindé sorry but it’s kinda boring, everything that made the first great is watered down and there’s too many plot holes and annoying characters, glad you like it tho,
There's this speech in Jurassic Park 3 that I always remember: "Dinosaurs lived 65 million years ago; what was left of them was found in the rocks and that is where REAL scientists made REAL discoveries. What John Hammond and InGen did at Jurassic Park was create genetically-engineered theme park monsters -- nothing more and nothing less." I always liked that speech because it was, essentially, the entire point of the first movie and the book it was based on...something that Jurassic World 1 and 2 went on to ignore in the service of their mindless, moronic storylines. When the "worst" movie in the franchise has more thought put into it than JW1 and JW2, you know you fucked up.
Because... The main antagonist of Jurassic World is essentially a Frankenstein/patchwork freak of a dinosaur, created by the exact same scientist who also helped create the dinosaurs in the original movie. When confronted about this, he went into full mad scientist mode, talking as if he was actually proud of his raping nature. Also, considering how many people died in Jurassic World compared to the original because of the managers' incompetence, not only does it prove my point that NOBODY in this universe had learned anything from what happened in the original, but they actually made even worse decisions than before. To put it simply: this movie was made by idiots, it's inhabited by idiots and it id strictly intended for idiots.
@@supereldinho the fact that they didn't learn their lesson was the fucking point. They got cocky and thought they created a perfect system to keep the dinosaurs under control. But they played god anyway and abused genetics in the same way Malcom said they would. And of course he was proud, he brought a 65 million year old extinct species back to the life. Wu wanted to explore just how far genetic manipulation could go, aka the exact same thing everyone said that shouldn't be done. He was the villian of the movie too. God damn, it's like you deliberately ignored everything. It had the exact same message as the first one. Don't fuck with nature.
In other words, they decided to just repeat the fucking point of a much more well-written movie because they had nothing intelligent to say on their own and because they knew that the label alone would sell like crazy. Still trying to grasp my contempt towards JW1 and 2?
Alan Grant was completely turned around in JP3. In the first film he tells Lex that "They aren't monsters, they're just animals" but apparently they ARE just monsters to him now.
4:06 "No, the only way to talk to them is by calling them on their cellphone...in an area that, of course, has terrible cell coverage." Lol. Even though the iRex is supposedly sponsored by Verizon 😂🤦♂️ If Verizon really did pay Universal for the name drop, they should have definitely asked for their money back!
Wait a minute, this movie is trying to be a flintsone prequel! Next movie the dinosaurs eat everything but stone and humans! Flintstone cinematic universe!!!
I thought Fallen Kingdom sucked so much. And how on earth does the Movie production cost more than the total money they earned in the auction for selling LIVE DINOSAURS??
@@trevorchambers I know, but when i saw the cash they were earning on the money I wasn't sure I saw that right, I thought it said billions not millions. Then Stuckman said it and I was like "Wait so that was what I saw?? Wat??"
You know... Peter watss's blindsight raised similar questions in a much cleverer way. In the novel, humanity has brought back vampires from extinction, that in this story are more like an ancient race of pleistocene predators that used to attack humans at night and were able to hibernate for long periods of time to conserve food resources... The reason why they brought them back was because they are like hyper intelligent, idiot savant, autistic super computers that can think through millions of possible solutions and explanations at once in ways humans could only dream of. Also, they are kept in check with things like the crucifix glitch which will cause them to go into seizures if they see any right angles, and therefore need to take drugs to combat this illness. That it was initially thought very unlikely they would form a collective to take over the world, as they very solitary territorial creatures...
You don't know how auctions work, do you? They don't begin with the big guns, they start the minor stuff that don't get much demand, but still have their own worth, because everyone knows the more valuable stuff is coming later, and they'll save their money for that moment. By starting with a low price, it encourages the bidding war, and allows for more participants to take part in it.
My coworkers had their sons at work (a snow day I think) and I witnessed the 3 of them, one in kindergarten and 2 pre-teens, make a game out of tearing this movie up. All the plot holes and the constant and ridiculous amount of suspension of disbelief required were laid bare by 3 members of the film's target audience. At least the kids were laughing.
I know how to revive the Jurassic franchise spectacularly by adding two characters: _Joe Exotic & Carole Baskin._ He's on the island to start a new show with the big cats being replaced by giant reptiles, and she's on the island to...er...protect the lizards from Joe, while searching for her 'lost' husband". Fun ensues!
Just wanted to tell you that you are one of my favorite RUclipsrs!!! You make me laugh so hard & I *love* watching all of your reviews!!! You should have millions more subscribers!!!
Jurassic Park was written by Michael Crichton, known for writing notoriously well researched science fiction books. Fallen Kingdom was written by two former SNL writers, one of whom would go on to write Pokémon Detective Pikachu. YIKES.
Oh look, one of my favorite RUclipsrs came back after a pretty long time. I really want to express my happiness about the return, whilst also mentioning that I would love to see more content from said RUclipsr. I got it: Oh Hi Mark
Also at the end of the movie, they talk like thousands of thousands dinosaurs are now roaming the USA. But they brought only ONE ship of them from the island. It's that hard to hunt them again?!
The part of Jurassic World that bothered me most was the assistant being killed in front of the main characters, and none of them cared. She didn't do anything bad. They could have at least reacted in some way.
Cynide gas is most dangerous when inhaled, any toxin that is airborne is the quickest to disperse, it's also mostly (in most of it's forms) colorless and odorless, furthermore due to diffusion, the gas will roughly spread evenly, it's also lighter than other components of general composition of air so it's over all highest concentrations will be towards ceiling not floor. Point is, this movie is dumb, don't defend it, in any way, shape or form.
I went with a friend to see this movie, and when the little girl said "They're alive, like me", she laughed so hard that the people next to us moved seats.
Welcome back to another episode of things that didn’t happen. Unless your friend was laughing obnoxiously loud to disrupt the movie, I don’t see why they’d move seats toward the end of the movie. Something ain’t adding up.
@@bluecorp8557 yeah i laughed at that stupid line pretty loudly but nobody even looked at me, let alone moved seats. it reads very 'and then everyone clapped'
I'd have been like "Hey, so is ebola. You wanna let that sh*t just do whatever it wants? Huh? Is that it? Get the f*ck outta here, you creepy-ass science experiment!"
For humans that is, I mean come on, most of those dinosaurs aren't going to be that much of problem given they have a very low population and are no match for human weaponry.
Xenotaris Unfortunately, a lot of people don't have guns, or proper ways to defend themselves. A pack of them could just attack a remote village and massacre hundreds. They're going to be a big problem for animals as well, since most of the predators today are no match for them. Hell, they could even exterminate an entire species if left unchecked. In the end, they're gonna have to be locked in cages again or worse, hunted down to extinction.
+George Soros Yeah the few carnivores left will go on killing spree of humans also we don't have villages in america we have towns. Yall keep thinking these dinosaurs are monsters they are not, they are just animals. Yes people will die in the beginning but the animals would be forced to adapt to the new world, also carnivores don't eat every day, they eat their fill and are good for a week before having to hunt again. GO WATCH SOME NAT GEO WILD
Xenotaris First, I meant the other parts of the world, not just the US. Who's to say these things can't migrate? Second, you can't just release several species of dinosaurs in the ecosystem and expect everyone to just live in harmony. They'll be competing with the animals and vice versa. That's all well and good about what you've said about carnivores but eventually when they start breeding to massive numbers, its gonna be real problem. I'm less worried about them adapting to the animals and more worried about the animals adapting to them. Imagine what would happen to the populations of endagered animals when several more deadly predators are added to the mix. And some dinos aren't restricted on hunting herbivores. Also since they didn't bring plants with them, the big and more demanding dino herbivores are forced to eat the food source of the regular plant eaters. But even then, most if not all of them are gonna have to be locked up anyway for their own safety and for others. The demand for these things are very, very high, being the rarest creatures on Earth. A single tooth could cost thousands, even millions of dollars. Alot of wealthy and determined people won't hesitate to capture and/or harvest them, regardless of any law that stands in their way. Several animals are already endagered/extinct because of poaching so most likely they'll end up the same route. They'll also be interfering with alot of important human activities like livestock, air traffic, boats, fishing industries, towns far from civilization, general safety, simply going to another place, etc. So the general public wouldn't really mind them being locked up.
They aren't things, they are dinosaurs. Well the whole point was forcing humans to adapt to the dinosaurs, humans have done much greater damage to the environment than these dinosaurs. There are roughly 7 billion humans on the earth, perhaps we need a natural predator to limit our numbers
In hindsight at 3:00, mechanically, the spheres appear to rotate like a tire with the center hub remaining stationary, but especially when off-roading on it, I'd expect the clear sphere to pick up and smear itself with some wet dirt or some dinosaur crap. Maybe it "self-cleans" but it would also be susceptible to wear and tear/scratches.
I am always so freaking excited when there's a new episode, but I haven't seen this movie yet....I don't know what to do!!!! Edit, I watched the video...I made the right choice.
David Mayberry I didn’t watch it either, I saw Jurassic World and after seeing the trailer for this I knew I wasn’t gonna see it. It was basically the same movie but even worse
My parents bought this movie on blu-ray and asked to watch it with me and i said no. When i came home, there was probably 40 minutes left of the movie, still playing, my mom was alseep and my dad was taking shit and that's how i can explain this movie
Who else broke into laughter when the Bracchiosaurus was burned alive and they tried to make it a tender moment....while...Claire in full view of all the bad guys takes the time to cry
I've come back to this channel after many years and I gotta say, you still got it! So nice to hear you ripping into bad movies again! But yeah, this movie is exactly the The Force Awakens of the Jurassic Park movies
Ahmet Celik That movie was a major disrespect to Dr Seuss' magnum opus. Even his widow decided to forbid any more live action Seuss movies after that one.
The I-Rex gets out because they open the dinosaur sized door to let people out for some reason. Maybe make a man-sized door that the giant predator cant fit through?
Jurassic World has never felt right. It’s never fit. I didn’t like it. And the new “Fallen Kingdom” made me feel confused and bored. I absolutely hated it.
A lot of things didn't click in Jurassic World, but Fallen Kingdom was really a facepalm. Everything overall in that movie never made sense, from the characters, to their motivation, to the ending.
Jake DeLuca OH I had so many problems with it. Too much screaming, it was basically a big dumb loud action movie. With stupid characters and cluttered with dumb storylines.
Maybe because it felt kinda tame. In the trilogy, EVERY dinosaur most likely was going to fuck you up, or atleast made you feel like they were unpredictable. In these two movies it seemed like every dinasaur except for the mutated ones were the humans friends and ssved them everytime they were about to be killed. It was weak, it didnt have the survival factor to it.
15:30 besides, couldn't Claire just open the big door FIRST, so fresh air would have entered clearing the toxic gas, an then maybe NOT open the dinosaurs' gates? This movie is so dumb and unnecessary that for the first time in years (and these are for the most part BAD YEARS for cinema to begin with) I was actually angry, not bored or let down, but angry.
You were proven wrong yet you still claim it's a plot contrivance? Okay then. People who get legitimately angry at movies are the most childish people on the planet.
The odds of opening the big door helping remove the gas is dependent on several things, but I do agree that it makes more sense as a first step instead of opening all the dinosaur pens. Absolutely nothing was gained by that bright idea.
Yes. The process is literally called gas diffusion. Molecules of the cyanide gas would spread out trying to fill up the increased space from opening the door making it less concentrated in the room (and therefore less lethal).
Wow. I only walked out of one movie. It was an Exorcist prequel. I don't remember which one. I also once left a movie to take a shit, leaving my date to watch the movie. Then after my dump I came back in. That one was On Dangerous Ground with Steven Seagal.
@gamestation2690 she never called herself a dinosaur vet though, just working on the spot. That's the difference. Calling yourself a vet then not actually ever working on said animal before.
You should also mention that undersea dinosaur which escaped at the beginning of the movie, but served absolutely no plot reason. The escape isn't even mentioned in the movie afterwards.
Uh... what? Her parents died in a car crash, her grandfather was murdered, her nanny was devoured and the the only other person to take care of her was her grandfather's evil genius manager, so- oh wait. No, he was torn in half. Who the fuck was she supposed to go to.
bro, I just love that you seem to do these videos whenver you are inspired instead of just pumping out garbage every week for views. you are one of the few creators on this site that I actually respect man, I love your videos and I hope you soon see the attention you deserve (which is definitely more than just 100k subs)
She actually does have some curve to her that directors would always cover up for whatever reason. It think she lost some weight for the Jurassic World series, but if you peep her in Black Mirror she wore some pretty conservative clothes to try and hide it. To that I say: why hide your glory, Bryce?
To be fair about the high heel running thing, the T-Rex wasn’t chasing her at all. Earlier in the movie you see an attendant using a flare to attract her the Rex to food so the guests can see it eat. The Rex wasn’t chasing Claire because she assumed Claire was taking her to food.
I say whatever I want and you gotta deal with that In case they ever have to take the dino out of there. What if there was an emergency or the dino died, how would they remove it. What if they just needed to move it to another enclosure?
The size of the large door makes sense for transporting the dinosaur, what doesn't make sense is that there wasn't a separate human sized door, or if there was one it wasn't used.
I remember the feeling of seeing the trailer from the Jurassic world. At the same time pissed that the producers would destroy a master piece, thinking the effects were worse than the original (which I still think) and a masochistic desire to watch, after all, "look, look, dinosaurs!"
I would could regain a lot of respect for the Jurassic Park franchise if they had the audacity and courage to make the next sequel a post-apocalyptic scenario where the dinosaurs, essentially a bunch of invasive megafauna, have overrun the planet like locusts or pigeons, humans are now threatened with extinction, and the few who remain live in caveman-like tribes desperately trying to locate and unearth any remnants of 20th/21st technology (just like people now dig up fossils) in order to defend themselves; basically a big-budget remake of "Teenage Caveman.
I'd really love to know how one gets a job as a Hollywood writer. This must be an entry level job. Basically the dish washers of Hollywood. All those movies with a gazillion dollar budget and yet it seems they are paying someone 50 bucks to write the script in a week.
Three good things I will say about the Jurassic World movies, 1: That scene with the kids and the baby dinos was cool, and I could seee that happening if we really could have dinos back. 2: Blue is just adorable. 3: When they had to leave that poor brontosaurus behind, as the ship sails away and it just fades into the smoke... I teared up.
There are SO many dinosaurs to pick from and SO much to explore, but they rewrote the same screen play over and over again with dinosaurs that don't even exist.
Big, dumb and loud. That's the model for 'movies' going forward. Also, the big,dumb and loud movies have to be LOADED with 'multiculturalism', 'diversity' and lectures which was the point the entire time. Its why the 'movies' suck, they're unwatchable, irritating. Its as if the people making these movies are not even HUMANS and they make ideas based of what they 'think' humans respond to or "would" like.
MARK!!! You should do Live streaming to chat with you fans and maaaaaaybe add a Patron account so everyone can support you! My wife and I love watching your work and believe you are a genuinely down to earth funny guy! Keep up the great work and BAD MOVIES is our favorite!!!!
How do you get to be a "former marine" when you're about 18 years old?
She joined the training program only to leave a week in when she realized she would actually need to do stuff.XD
Either that or she was a child soldier.
Same way Daniel Radcliffe in "The Woman in Black" (filmed in 2010 when he was 21) got to be a solicitor (lawyer) in Edwardian England whose wife had died in childbirth 4 years ago. When a movie wants to cast a young actor in a role, they really don't care whether the numbers add up or the actor looks anywhere near old enough to have had their character's backstory :)
get injured in Basic..
Because Delusional movie.
"wow looks like one person with a semi automatic rifle is doing pretty well against...the perfect weapon for the modern age" the sacrasm is beautiful
2020 Jurassic Universe....dinosaurs in space
Fuck it, why not ??? lol
They could do a crossover with Jason and The Leprechaun
written and directed by JJ Abrams
Jurassic To The Future - Dinosaurs In Time.
@generic generic Count me in 😅
"Oh, no! There's a volcano that's going to destroy all the dinosaurs!"
Isn't that called NATURE?
I also love that there's more concern for them and less for the modern species we endanger every day.
And they can't grow any more dinosaurs? HUGE plothole
anik monette If you can bring back dinosaurs you can bring back anything, so why bother preventing?
Mr. Frizzyhead So? An entire species of animal that shouldn’t even exist dying on an island? And if you’re that concerned about it, you can just grown another set. There isn’t a point to any of this.
And do what with them?
Releasing them on another island would only destroy the local ecosystem.
Hammond's vision in the second movie is to let them take their course, which includes the possibility of extinction by narurai forces
Lol the part when he talks about Zia is my favorite part. I like some of the points he makes about her character. Hollywood is trying to make strong female characters but they come off kind of douchey and have a chip on their shoulder and sometimes try to be tough to prove a point in scenes when no one is challenging them in the first place. I'm a woman and even I find that incredibly annoying. They try to hard for them to seem independent and it comes off really cheesy and forced. Just let them be a character you don't have to cater to a specific audience for them to like her.
When you deal with smart people in real life this is the experience you get though.
@@user-account-not-found absolutely not.
I agree. She was a total ass hole
See you again in 5 months, Mark.
Fact 😔
Thank you, finally someone else noticed the problem with "John's dying wish"
I liked Fallen Kingdom the first time I watched it. The 2nd viewing made me realize that it was a rather massive piece of junk.
Zia is supposed to be a dinosaur veterinarian, and yet she’s never even seen a dinosaur in person. Seriously?!
I rooted so much for the dinos to eat her!
Teea63 Vixen63 Had she been given proper screen time and story development, that could’ve been possible, for all we know.
@@TeeaVixen Same, I wanted that bitch to die, which just shows how shitty the writers were because she's a great actress but the writing and direction she got sucked ass.
I thought the Man-Child who screamed like a girl was the worst
dr grant and dr sadler had never seen a dinosaur before the first movie and yet they both studied them for years.....
“I’m not as soft and witless as your comment implies.”
5 min earlier: *runs out of vehicle, leaving doors wide open, putting everyone in possible danger*
Nope, not witless at all.
Jurassic Park 1: "This movie is amazing!"
Jurassic Park 2: "Pretty good sequel, it should end here."
Jurassic Park 3: "Umm, we didn't really ask for this."
*some time later* "I guess that's it, whew that's a relief."
Jurassic World: "Oh shit, just as Ian Malcolm predicted."
Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom: "OH MY FUCK, MAKE IT STOP! YOU'VE REACHED GOD TIER LEVEL OF DUMBASS!"
@Gabe PL it should have been look how they just fucking created a character (bl) that didn't even existed just to sell their own movie
TrollForce the third Jurassic park is far better than the second. the only two that should exists are the original and the third
I wouldn't say it is better than the second, but it is better than its reputation and much better than the new ones.
Imagine thinking the 2nd movie is good.
@Pindé sorry but it’s kinda boring, everything that made the first great is watered down and there’s too many plot holes and annoying characters, glad you like it tho,
There's this speech in Jurassic Park 3 that I always remember:
"Dinosaurs lived 65 million years ago; what was left of them was found in the rocks and that is where REAL scientists made REAL discoveries. What John Hammond and InGen did at Jurassic Park was create genetically-engineered theme park monsters -- nothing more and nothing less."
I always liked that speech because it was, essentially, the entire point of the first movie and the book it was based on...something that Jurassic World 1 and 2 went on to ignore in the service of their mindless, moronic storylines.
When the "worst" movie in the franchise has more thought put into it than JW1 and JW2, you know you fucked up.
How did these movies ignore that? I know you think what you wrote sounded intelligent but it didn't.
Because...
The main antagonist of Jurassic World is essentially a Frankenstein/patchwork freak of a dinosaur, created by the exact same scientist who also helped create the dinosaurs in the original movie. When confronted about this, he went into full mad scientist mode, talking as if he was actually proud of his raping nature.
Also, considering how many people died in Jurassic World compared to the original because of the managers' incompetence, not only does it prove my point that NOBODY in this universe had learned anything from what happened in the original, but they actually made even worse decisions than before.
To put it simply: this movie was made by idiots, it's inhabited by idiots and it id strictly intended for idiots.
@@supereldinho the fact that they didn't learn their lesson was the fucking point. They got cocky and thought they created a perfect system to keep the dinosaurs under control. But they played god anyway and abused genetics in the same way Malcom said they would. And of course he was proud, he brought a 65 million year old extinct species back to the life. Wu wanted to explore just how far genetic manipulation could go, aka the exact same thing everyone said that shouldn't be done. He was the villian of the movie too. God damn, it's like you deliberately ignored everything. It had the exact same message as the first one. Don't fuck with nature.
In other words, they decided to just repeat the fucking point of a much more well-written movie because they had nothing intelligent to say on their own and because they knew that the label alone would sell like crazy.
Still trying to grasp my contempt towards JW1 and 2?
Alan Grant was completely turned around in JP3. In the first film he tells Lex that "They aren't monsters, they're just animals" but apparently they ARE just monsters to him now.
The difference in the intelligence level of the Park script and the world script is reflective of the level of talent of the script writers.
Yep and yet writers today go on strike complaining they aren't paid enough. They are lucky to be paid at all with this level of writing..
I hope you stay online for a while. I’ve missed laughing to these videos.
WHATS YOUR PROBLEM? DO YOU NEED A GOOD FUCKING TO GET RID OF YOUR ANGER?
Hopeless Lover I never said anything?
NOT YOU, CHELSEA. SHE SOUNDS LIKE A BITCH!
Hopeless Lover ok. Sorry lol. I’d also like to mention this is an old photo. Ive lost 40 pounds.
it's cool. i think you look fine, i think chelsea or whatever is just being a bitter old bitch.
"We can confirm that the dinosaur, indeed...has claws." LMAO
4:06 "No, the only way to talk to them is by calling them on their cellphone...in an area that, of course, has terrible cell coverage."
Lol. Even though the iRex is supposedly sponsored by Verizon 😂🤦♂️ If Verizon really did pay Universal for the name drop, they should have definitely asked for their money back!
Wait a minute, this movie is trying to be a flintsone prequel! Next movie the dinosaurs eat everything but stone and humans! Flintstone cinematic universe!!!
You mispelled "Flintstones". And BTW, we already have a prequel for the 1994 Flintstones movie, it's called, "Viva Rock Vegas".
I thought Fallen Kingdom sucked so much. And how on earth does the Movie production cost more than the total money they earned in the auction for selling LIVE DINOSAURS??
I know right? ... There were 12 Dinosaurs sold and it didn't even pass the 200 Million Mark
@@CableB_ and that over the top Russian guy, "10 Millions Dollars!!"
@@trevorchambers I know, but when i saw the cash they were earning on the money I wasn't sure I saw that right, I thought it said billions not millions. Then Stuckman said it and I was like "Wait so that was what I saw?? Wat??"
You know... Peter watss's blindsight raised similar questions in a much cleverer way. In the novel, humanity has brought back vampires from extinction, that in this story are more like an ancient race of pleistocene predators that used to attack humans at night and were able to hibernate for long periods of time to conserve food resources... The reason why they brought them back was because they are like hyper intelligent, idiot savant, autistic super computers that can think through millions of possible solutions and explanations at once in ways humans could only dream of. Also, they are kept in check with things like the crucifix glitch which will cause them to go into seizures if they see any right angles, and therefore need to take drugs to combat this illness. That it was initially thought very unlikely they would form a collective to take over the world, as they very solitary territorial creatures...
You don't know how auctions work, do you? They don't begin with the big guns, they start the minor stuff that don't get much demand, but still have their own worth, because everyone knows the more valuable stuff is coming later, and they'll save their money for that moment. By starting with a low price, it encourages the bidding war, and allows for more participants to take part in it.
"OPEN THE DOOR, GET ON THE FLOOR, EVERYBODY'S CLONING DINOSAURS."
@generic generic Nooooo.
My coworkers had their sons at work (a snow day I think) and I witnessed the 3 of them, one in kindergarten and 2 pre-teens, make a game out of tearing this movie up. All the plot holes and the constant and ridiculous amount of suspension of disbelief required were laid bare by 3 members of the film's target audience. At least the kids were laughing.
Thank god I didn't waste my time in the theater!
Kawh sadly I did
@JURASSIC KNIGHT Eeeew
"Waste my time"? WASTE YOUR TIME?! It's a great movie.
Any day “FanboyFlicks” shows up in my notifications, it’s gonna be a good day.
It happens once in a blue moon
I almost came in my paints
There must e something wrong with me. I read your comment as "Any day daddy FanboyFlicks shows up in my notifications, its gonna be a good day."
Gay
@@chelseahoskins3733 Nine-year-old.
Yay
You’re back
I’m sooooo happy
Welcome back Mark
Plz make more videos
He is too busy jumping into his neighbors' yard chasing his neighbors' chicken so he can cook it trying to impress his girlfriend..
Kenrick Eason ...What
@@AngelineProductions its a Samurai Cop reference
@@BrokeNerfing Yeah! that's the idea... So anyway how is your sex life?
@@kenrickeason not great tbh... my gf Lisa is teeearing me apaaaart
I genuinely think that humans are getting more stupid. And this shows in the world of entertainment too.
There's a HELL of a lot more "groupthink" than there used to be...
Based on what? Human stupidity is more visible now, but I see no reason to believe that it's more common.
@smakfu Ah, yes. Because Einstein was the one that invented Cleverbot, and holograms, and color TV.
2020 proves that.
Still don't control over the illnesses here.
@@BenjaminGessel. Facts!
That moment you realize Jurassic world is a prolouge for theodore rex
I know how to revive the Jurassic franchise spectacularly by adding two characters: _Joe Exotic & Carole Baskin._ He's on the island to start a new show with the big cats being replaced by giant reptiles, and she's on the island to...er...protect the lizards from Joe, while searching for her 'lost' husband". Fun ensues!
Just wanted to tell you that you are one of my favorite RUclipsrs!!! You make me laugh so hard & I *love* watching all of your reviews!!! You should have millions more subscribers!!!
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Thanks for the annual upload.
[m] This was so very well done. Love the way you edited in the legacy JP footage to illustrate your points!
Jurassic Park was written by Michael Crichton, known for writing notoriously well researched science fiction books. Fallen Kingdom was written by two former SNL writers, one of whom would go on to write Pokémon Detective Pikachu. YIKES.
Many new movies are an insult to the audiences intelligence.
13:38 “two friend driven apart by cloning technology”
Is this metal gear?
Double101 what are you talking about? This isn't Metal Gear, IT'S A WEAPON TO SURPASS METAL GEAR.
are you talking about liquid and solid? big boss and ocelot? or big boss and solid?
“Metal.....Gear???”
Metal gear.
humbledb4jesus Because we want to forget Raiden.
Oh look, one of my favorite RUclipsrs came back after a pretty long time. I really want to express my happiness about the return, whilst also mentioning that I would love to see more content from said RUclipsr. I got it:
Oh
Hi
Mark
Also at the end of the movie, they talk like thousands of thousands dinosaurs are now roaming the USA. But they brought only ONE ship of them from the island. It's that hard to hunt them again?!
What Hugh said.
@@SaitoSite I mean the tone that Jeff Goldblum talks about it. Like "We must learn how to get along with them, its Jurrasic world now..."
*Cough* Embryos.
Maaark it's been three months new videos please ,
Yeah what the hell is this? Russia?
It's been three months since I've seen my child
Cuz his channel sucks and he doesn't know what a good and bad film is.
@@alolangloom yeah and you do right?
@@alolangloom lmao, I'm guessing you liked Jurassic Shit: Fallen Shit?
The part of Jurassic World that bothered me most was the assistant being killed in front of the main characters, and none of them cared. She didn't do anything bad. They could have at least reacted in some way.
Rewatching the ending again, wouldn’t it have made more sense to leave the dinosaurs in their cages but to open the big door to let the gas out?
No chance for a sequel. Shh don’t think about it, just give them your money
Cynide gas is most dangerous when inhaled, any toxin that is airborne is the quickest to disperse, it's also mostly (in most of it's forms) colorless and odorless, furthermore due to diffusion, the gas will roughly spread evenly, it's also lighter than other components of general composition of air so it's over all highest concentrations will be towards ceiling not floor.
Point is, this movie is dumb, don't defend it, in any way, shape or form.
colten53 - It’s better to give the dinosaurs a chance than let them suffocate.
@@gamestation2690 no, the end.
I went with a friend to see this movie, and when the little girl said "They're alive, like me", she laughed so hard that the people next to us moved seats.
"Clones and dinos of the whole world, unite" "The Cloned Dinosaur Manifesto" by Karl "DNA" T Rex and Friedrich "RNA" Triceratops.
Welcome back to another episode of things that didn’t happen. Unless your friend was laughing obnoxiously loud to disrupt the movie, I don’t see why they’d move seats toward the end of the movie. Something ain’t adding up.
Should have tossed the little Heffa out there with the Dinosaurs
@@bluecorp8557 yeah i laughed at that stupid line pretty loudly but nobody even looked at me, let alone moved seats. it reads very 'and then everyone clapped'
I'd have been like "Hey, so is ebola. You wanna let that sh*t just do whatever it wants? Huh? Is that it? Get the f*ck outta here, you creepy-ass science experiment!"
The ending of this movie is so immoral and wrong.
For humans that is, I mean come on, most of those dinosaurs aren't going to be that much of problem given they have a very low population and are no match for human weaponry.
Xenotaris Unfortunately, a lot of people don't have guns, or proper ways to defend themselves. A pack of them could just attack a remote village and massacre hundreds. They're going to be a big problem for animals as well, since most of the predators today are no match for them. Hell, they could even exterminate an entire species if left unchecked.
In the end, they're gonna have to be locked in cages again or worse, hunted down to extinction.
+George Soros Yeah the few carnivores left will go on killing spree of humans also we don't have villages in america we have towns. Yall keep thinking these dinosaurs are monsters they are not, they are just animals. Yes people will die in the beginning but the animals would be forced to adapt to the new world, also carnivores don't eat every day, they eat their fill and are good for a week before having to hunt again. GO WATCH SOME NAT GEO WILD
Xenotaris First, I meant the other parts of the world, not just the US. Who's to say these things can't migrate? Second, you can't just release several species of dinosaurs in the ecosystem and expect everyone to just live in harmony. They'll be competing with the animals and vice versa. That's all well and good about what you've said about carnivores but eventually when they start breeding to massive numbers, its gonna be real problem. I'm less worried about them adapting to the animals and more worried about the animals adapting to them. Imagine what would happen to the populations of endagered animals when several more deadly predators are added to the mix. And some dinos aren't restricted on hunting herbivores. Also since they didn't bring plants with them, the big and more demanding dino herbivores are forced to eat the food source of the regular plant eaters. But even then, most if not all of them are gonna have to be locked up anyway for their own safety and for others. The demand for these things are very, very high, being the rarest creatures on Earth. A single tooth could cost thousands, even millions of dollars. Alot of wealthy and determined people won't hesitate to capture and/or harvest them, regardless of any law that stands in their way. Several animals are already endagered/extinct because of poaching so most likely they'll end up the same route. They'll also be interfering with alot of important human activities like livestock, air traffic, boats, fishing industries, towns far from civilization, general safety, simply going to another place, etc. So the general public wouldn't really mind them being locked up.
They aren't things, they are dinosaurs. Well the whole point was forcing humans to adapt to the dinosaurs, humans have done much greater damage to the environment than these dinosaurs. There are roughly 7 billion humans on the earth, perhaps we need a natural predator to limit our numbers
In hindsight at 3:00, mechanically, the spheres appear to rotate like a tire with the center hub remaining stationary, but especially when off-roading on it, I'd expect the clear sphere to pick up and smear itself with some wet dirt or some dinosaur crap. Maybe it "self-cleans" but it would also be susceptible to wear and tear/scratches.
Yea.. high tech Gyrosphere with no doors or air vents... Safe.. :)
Thank you for pointing out the fake wokeness of Fallen Kingdom!
I am always so freaking excited when there's a new episode, but I haven't seen this movie yet....I don't know what to do!!!! Edit, I watched the video...I made the right choice.
David Mayberry save your money and time and watch this video; it’s more entertaining
@@Mr122394 Yeah I watched it immediately, I couldn't wait. And I would have bootlegged it, I never would have spent my money for fallen kingdom.
David Mayberry I didn’t watch it either, I saw Jurassic World and after seeing the trailer for this I knew I wasn’t gonna see it. It was basically the same movie but even worse
@@WebberLil Yeah I've still been meaning to watch it online at some point, I'm sure I still will eventually.
You should do North (1994), because I only just now became aware of it, but I sure as hell don't want to actually watch it.
Nostalgia critic did a pretty good episode on it. You should check it out. It's hilarious.
My parents bought this movie on blu-ray and asked to watch it with me and i said no. When i came home, there was probably 40 minutes left of the movie, still playing, my mom was alseep and my dad was taking shit and that's how i can explain this movie
this is a very accurate explanation and I approve of it wholeheartedly
Yeah my mom passed away 6 years ago. I would give anything to be able to watch a movie with her again no matter how awful. Don't be a dick.
16:22 I'm dead!!! 😂😂😂
"Wow looks like one person with a semi automatic rifle is doing pretty well against ''the perfect weapon of the modern age.""
I'm dead😂😂😂😂😂
So is the "perfect weapon"
Who else broke into laughter when the Bracchiosaurus was burned alive and they tried to make it a tender moment....while...Claire in full view of all the bad guys takes the time to cry
Sounds like something leticia stauch would say
Glad to see you are doing good!
I think the only reason I remembered Jurassic World so fondly is that it was my first ever date.
Sorry you couldn't do a date with the original Jurassic Park...
My sympathies
I've come back to this channel after many years and I gotta say, you still got it! So nice to hear you ripping into bad movies again!
But yeah, this movie is exactly the The Force Awakens of the Jurassic Park movies
Kindly upload quite often, you are one of the most underrated and one of the best channel
Can you do Cat in The Hat (2003) ?
wtf that movie is so fkn good
Ahmet Celik one with Mike Miers
Ahmet Celik That movie was a major disrespect to Dr Seuss' magnum opus. Even his widow decided to forbid any more live action Seuss movies after that one.
PLEASE, PLEASE REVIEW THE CAT IN THE HAT MOVIE MARK!!!! THAT MOVIE WAS ATROCIOUS!!!!!!!!
Stefan Loncar That movie is a cinematic masterpiece. Ahead of its time.
21 Jump Street did a better job at lampshading the franchise revival plague.
16:55 "It worked for the Flintstones." 😂😂😂
The I-Rex gets out because they open the dinosaur sized door to let people out for some reason. Maybe make a man-sized door that the giant predator cant fit through?
they entered from a small door but when they tried to leave the irex blocked the path, which is why the fat guy ran back and opened the big door
Next trilogy will be called "Jurassic Universe". It will have dinosaurs in SPACE shooting lazers from their eyes.
You mean, like dino crisis 3?
Ava This comment was already made, and better.
Jurassic World has never felt right. It’s never fit. I didn’t like it. And the new “Fallen Kingdom” made me feel confused and bored. I absolutely hated it.
A lot of things didn't click in Jurassic World, but Fallen Kingdom was really a facepalm. Everything overall in that movie never made sense, from the characters, to their motivation, to the ending.
Jake DeLuca OH I had so many problems with it. Too much screaming, it was basically a big dumb loud action movie. With stupid characters and cluttered with dumb storylines.
Emphasis on dumb bro lol
Then WHY
PAY
TO SEE IT
Maybe because it felt kinda tame. In the trilogy, EVERY dinosaur most likely was going to fuck you up, or atleast made you feel like they were unpredictable. In these two movies it seemed like every dinasaur except for the mutated ones were the humans friends and ssved them everytime they were about to be killed. It was weak, it didnt have the survival factor to it.
Please do ‘the nun’ (that movie is begging for it)
15:30 besides, couldn't Claire just open the big door FIRST, so fresh air would have entered clearing the toxic gas, an then maybe NOT open the dinosaurs' gates? This movie is so dumb and unnecessary that for the first time in years (and these are for the most part BAD YEARS for cinema to begin with) I was actually angry, not bored or let down, but angry.
Thank you, I guess you're right. Dumb movie (and plot contrivance) nevertheless. ;)
You were proven wrong yet you still claim it's a plot contrivance? Okay then. People who get legitimately angry at movies are the most childish people on the planet.
The odds of opening the big door helping remove the gas is dependent on several things, but I do agree that it makes more sense as a first step instead of opening all the dinosaur pens. Absolutely nothing was gained by that bright idea.
@@IPS-bk2wr That's how osmosis works though...
Yes. The process is literally called gas diffusion. Molecules of the cyanide gas would spread out trying to fill up the increased space from opening the door making it less concentrated in the room (and therefore less lethal).
That "WHOOOOAAAAAA" you did at the 16:23 mark had me freaking dying laughing. Thank you!
"Not so much man-cave, more... dinosaur prison."
Yessss destiny still arrives!!!!
Ok, Thanos. Keep smiling for now.
For now...
Juancho Corleone you can count on it.
Please PLEASE do Beverly Hills cops 3!!!!!!! Its so bad its good.
Thats actually a pretty decent movie, with a fair bit of cheeze as well, yes...
I walked out of Jurassic World, it was that bad.
Badn't?!
Wow. I only walked out of one movie. It was an Exorcist prequel. I don't remember which one. I also once left a movie to take a shit, leaving my date to watch the movie. Then after my dump I came back in. That one was On Dangerous Ground with Steven Seagal.
Pffft, sure pal.
@@shinndig1293 yeah I actually did. Was frustratingly shit.
Actually it was great
The millennial dinosaur vet had never seen a live dinosaur before. Even then I saw this movie in the theater, that fact slapped me in the face.
Dr. Satler never saw a live dinosaur before working on that Triceratops, and nobody complained about that.
@gamestation2690 she never called herself a dinosaur vet though, just working on the spot. That's the difference. Calling yourself a vet then not actually ever working on said animal before.
Jeff Goldblum: "Welcome to Jurassic World"Cinema Sins: "Roll Credits!"
To me the worst part was the “No good guys are allowed to die” directors words not mine, I’m paraphrasing
Gotta love seeing this in my notifications!
While I didn’t mind Jurassic World, I thought Fallen Kingdom was easily one of the worst movies of 2018
“Strong female archetype” and “lone male loser” are strangely similar in their methods.
You should also mention that undersea dinosaur which escaped at the beginning of the movie, but served absolutely no plot reason. The escape isn't even mentioned in the movie afterwards.
I literally forgot this movie happened. Until just now.
bubbalover71 It came out like 6 months ago.
He’s not gonna mention them kidnapping a child in the end
@generic generic She deserves it.
lmao
Uh... what? Her parents died in a car crash, her grandfather was murdered, her nanny was devoured and the the only other person to take care of her was her grandfather's evil genius manager, so- oh wait. No, he was torn in half. Who the fuck was she supposed to go to.
Bucket Muffin social services. The police. Atleast for them to get the proper adoption paperwork.
@@ccortez392 She's a clone! She probably doesn't even exist!
Could you review the masters of the universe movie
bro, I just love that you seem to do these videos whenver you are inspired instead of just pumping out garbage every week for views. you are one of the few creators on this site that I actually respect man, I love your videos and I hope you soon see the attention you deserve (which is definitely more than just 100k subs)
I like how the raptor thingy smiled, as it was faking unconsciousness.
I cant keep coming back to all your old videos anymore, we need something new! :)
These movies were definitely made by the wrong people
@@IPS-bk2wr nope Colin took Jurassic Park and took a giant shite on it
@@b2themc No, he didn't.
@GameStation 3 Yes, he did
@@christophersouza3159 No, he didn't.
I’m torn on this one. On the one hand, this movie is terrible. On the other hand, it contains Bryce Dallas Howard and her glorious thicc-ness.
She actually does have some curve to her that directors would always cover up for whatever reason. It think she lost some weight for the Jurassic World series, but if you peep her in Black Mirror she wore some pretty conservative clothes to try and hide it. To that I say: why hide your glory, Bryce?
StephonST Look up the pics of her from the Pete’s Dragon premiere. Those aren’t “some” curves, those are THE curves.
She's a horrible actress, but god damn it I would soooo eat her redheaded asshole for hours.
You know I never realised she was so thick. Can't really see it in Jurassic park..
Look up manderlady then, let's just say she proves she's a natural red-head.
The Indoraptor literally smiled and opened its eyes to let us the audience know it’s not sleeping. It SMILED at us. 🤦♂️
To be fair about the high heel running thing, the T-Rex wasn’t chasing her at all.
Earlier in the movie you see an attendant using a flare to attract her the Rex to food so the guests can see it eat. The Rex wasn’t chasing Claire because she assumed Claire was taking her to food.
Selling exploitation by whining about exploitation. That is one of the more perversely ironic forms of virtue signaling.
6:08 No, it wouldn't have happened if they didn't install a huge door the size of the dino itself. Why would they even do that?
I say whatever I want and you gotta deal with that In case they ever have to take the dino out of there. What if there was an emergency or the dino died, how would they remove it. What if they just needed to move it to another enclosure?
Well, given the fact that they kept it in secret from the tourists, I don't think it would've mattered. They already knew how to make it
The size of the large door makes sense for transporting the dinosaur, what doesn't make sense is that there wasn't a separate human sized door, or if there was one it wasn't used.
Mark, you’re extremely well liked and we all love your reviews man. Hope you enjoy the upcoming holiday season buddy
I remember the feeling of seeing the trailer from the Jurassic world.
At the same time pissed that the producers would destroy a master piece, thinking the effects were worse than the original (which I still think) and a masochistic desire to watch, after all, "look, look, dinosaurs!"
The Jurassic World series actually makes The Lost World and JP3 look much better by comparison.
When I think of the Jurassic series, I rename it Star-Lord Gets Chased by Dinosaurs in my head.
THANK YOU MARK. We love you.
Fallen Kingdom is the reason I probably won't see Dominion.
Well done, Hollywood.
Also, to "super-smart clone girl"; if your a genius, why did you think hiding under your bedspread would protect you...?
I would could regain a lot of respect for the Jurassic Park franchise if they had the audacity and courage to make the next sequel a post-apocalyptic scenario where the dinosaurs, essentially a bunch of invasive megafauna, have overrun the planet like locusts or pigeons, humans are now threatened with extinction, and the few who remain live in caveman-like tribes desperately trying to locate and unearth any remnants of 20th/21st technology (just like people now dig up fossils) in order to defend themselves; basically a big-budget remake of "Teenage Caveman.
I fear the futur, everything is getting soooooo dumb!
I'd really love to know how one gets a job as a Hollywood writer. This must be an entry level job. Basically the dish washers of Hollywood. All those movies with a gazillion dollar budget and yet it seems they are paying someone 50 bucks to write the script in a week.
I strongly disagree with you but this was another entertaining video nonetheless. Good stuff Mark :)
This movie sucked
Three good things I will say about the Jurassic World movies, 1: That scene with the kids and the baby dinos was cool, and I could seee that happening if we really could have dinos back. 2: Blue is just adorable. 3: When they had to leave that poor brontosaurus behind, as the ship sails away and it just fades into the smoke... I teared up.
I almost started tearing up because I couldn’t revisit your hilarious twilight review series. A memory I can never relive :(
There are SO many dinosaurs to pick from and SO much to explore, but they rewrote the same screen play over and over again with dinosaurs that don't even exist.
We still want Cool As Ice...comedy gold right there.
Awesome..used to watch that at least twice a day..because it was so retarded..
So much retardation..so much
*I had to come STRAIGHT here after watching the Fallen Kingdom* :D
Big, dumb and loud. That's the model for 'movies' going forward. Also, the big,dumb and loud movies have to be LOADED with 'multiculturalism', 'diversity' and lectures which was the point the entire time. Its why the 'movies' suck, they're unwatchable, irritating. Its as if the people making these movies are not even HUMANS and they make ideas based of what they 'think' humans respond to or "would" like.
Straight facts. I hate it
Most unbelievable bit....ANYONE running at high speed in high spike heels.
I simply cannot suspend my disbelief for that one.
Probably watched too much Anime...
Tina - You can’t believe that, but you can believe dinosaurs being bright back from extinction through the power of science?
MARK!!! You should do Live streaming to chat with you fans and maaaaaaybe add a Patron account so everyone can support you! My wife and I love watching your work and believe you are a genuinely down to earth funny guy! Keep up the great work and BAD MOVIES is our favorite!!!!
Ahhhh crap! I feel like such an ass. I just noticed you DO have a patron account!!! Well....yeah.