This Big Creator Hates Me and My Partner Shaming Series
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- Опубликовано: 7 сен 2024
- By now, you may be familiar with my series Partner Shaming: the series where people secretly record and post their partners behind their back to drag them before the public eye, and then expect a healthy and normal relationship afterward. These shame videos are often followed by a "just kidding we're fine" video, where the creator usually blames the audience for "being so mean to their partner" and "not getting the joke".
I started to notice this "trend" a couple years ago and there's plenty of it, leading the series to grow to 80 episodes, and even led to me being interviewed about it on primetime television.
I thought it was safe to say that people agreed that the phenomenon was very real... but not everyone agrees that it is; or at least, that there's something wrong with it.
Someone emailed me recently to tell me that I'd been featured in an episode of a podcast, where the host has some choice words for me and my series - despite (spoiler alert) her and her cohost apparently completely agreeing with me.
So let's go ahead and listen to my little feature on this podcast and have a blast pointing out every single logical fallacy, narcissistic tool, outright lie and potent hypocrisy baked into this.
We'll get into all of that as well as the true tea on why this podcast host actually hates me, and you can decide for yourself:
Is "Partner Shaming" a valid issue, or am I being disingenuous for views?
Is it true that I do need to, in this podcast host's words, "get f***ed"?
As always, enjoy, like, subscribe, comment and share! :)
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The "haha, just kidding, we're best friends" is a very familiar part of the pattern for abusers. The abuser might even feel genuinely guilty at that time, but if they successfully guilt and gaslight their partner into forgiving them, it will happen again.
Wait, did you date my ex, too?
They are all the same! smh@@Laneous14
Sometimes gaslighting is honest delusion...
Holy shit!, dude I never connected the two. You are so right, it is abuse..
I didn't know what partner shaming was until I stumbled across this series. So I'm several episodes in, feeling increasingly uncomfortable, saying to myself "why does this feel so horribly familiar?". Then it hits me this was a favourite hobby of my ex, complete with the "haha just kidding" justification.
It took me six years to recognise how abusive that relationship was. When society likes to say men can't be abused and that abuse has to be physical, it's kind of hard to recognise such consistently shitty behaviour for what it is.
Anyway, thanks for reading.
If you're willing to shame a partner, you're unwilling to be a partner.
Say that again!!
That was well said.
Public humiliation is not a viable way to keep a relationship, i am an idiot and I know that.
I'd make a video with the about the same comment, on their channel if possible, giving them a restraining order and divorce papers, and telling them they have to leave immediately. Record everything before they start with more PUUUR - JURY since they love doing that.
Well spoken.
5:21 Having broken a bone and thought it was just a tendon injury, I believe that guy did the right thing in erring on the side of caution to get his possible broken bone checked out. Too many men avoid seeking medical care when needed, and that woman should be grateful that her husband isn’t like that.
I went on a backpacking trip with the guys a few years back. Before I left (like a week or so before),I had thought I had pulled a muscle in by lower back or something as I was pretty uncomfortable packing up and while hiking. Went to the doctors afterward, Hernia surgery a week and a half after that. Lol had no idea.
@@Yuriel1981I broke my toe and didn’t even realize it until I finally went to the hospital a week later.
I currently have lower back issues that thankfully are diminished with exercise, but I haven’t checked them out for a few months because I no longer have a family doctor, and I don’t think it’s considered an emergency (thanks, Canada!)
i was on a hike and thought i sprained my ankle, walked another quarter mile or so on it being in pain the whole way, turned out it was broken and i just made it worse by walking on it
I snapped my arm in half, breaking 2 bones and the pain was immense. A couple years later I dislocated my knee and it was comparable. Pain sucks regardless. If it hurts, let them complain.
I tried to go to work with a broken hand thinking it was a tendon/ligament type injury. The wife told me "nah you're going to the doctor"
All too often this is the case. We grow up with the understanding that we just grin and bear whatever comes our way. Even injuries.
The fact that "men's rights activist" is a devicive and rage inducing term tells you everything you need to know about how society at large views men.
Tbf from what I see, MRA For a "leftist" elicits the same reaction as feminist for a "conservative".
In quotes because I talk about small angry subgroups of decentralized movements. Group thinking at it finest.
You’re absolutely right
@@LockMatch So far, it is not the term feminism that is bad so much as leftist and misandrist used feminism as an excuse for their behavior.
Kind of like "incels" means incelibate, but they use it as a term for any man who criticizes a woman.
Like they will call married men "incels" for criticizing a woman. Not women in general, but a particular woman for her horrible actions.
People aren't using words correctly.
I don't call misandrist "feminist." I call then matriarchist because they want woman running the world where man have no rights and they are slaves while claiming it is their "duty as men" to work for their benefit.
I imagine it's the same reaction to things like "Black Lives Matter". Yes, ALL lives matter but black lives were being taken for granted.
You can have that same knee-jerk reaction to hearing someone is a feminist because some are just trying to help women while others just hate men.
Heck, I was going to say we should all be "Human Rights Activists" but I'm sure someone will say "what about animals?"
Let's all support each other and if we need to criticize, doing so in a loving way.
The self-proclaimed MRA group has a LOT of toxic attitudes. They do bring up issues like thedadvocate does, but they also simply dig in to a lot of extremely misogynistic crap. There's a reason that thedadvocate flat out stated in the video that she doesn't use the term.
The hilarious irony of it all is the fact that the host claimed "partner shaming" was just a buzzword and then like 5 minutes later strung together misuses of the terms "MRA" "Divisive" "Violent" and "Echo Chamber"
Using them as...
Wait for it
.
......
Buzzwords
Funny the way projection works!
I came here to say this, as well as "pick me".
i understand how MRAs got a bad name, because of bad actors co-opting the term and all that, but it still makes me sad any time i see someone saying that being an MRA is inherently a bad thing
My ex-wife used to talk shit about me behind my back on FB, before tik tok was a thing. I found it one day, and the straw that broke the camel's back was a comment she made about how she deserves better. I was in the military, risking my life daily just to put food on the table and give her a good lifestyle. I stopped caring about her in any way shape or form after that.
All the best to you. These harpies are disgusting and UNGRATEFUL.
Sorry to hear. Its pathetic they will destroy a good thing for a digital blue thumbs up on the internet, that says more about her then you
I remember learning about partner shaming on tiktok. A woman was posting about some funny things her husband did as a new father. I didn't take it as shaming at the time, just "haha, new parents, amirite?" but when I stitched it with the funniest thing I thought my husband did, some random woman accused my husband of being abusive. The abusive thing he did: bringing me our breastfed baby while I was on the toilet. I learned never to do that again. Unhinged nonsense. I was going for relatable laughs. You can't even laugh about tiny things with the intent to be relatable without people desiring to tear your partner down. I couldn't imagine recording your partner without their consent when you can't even have a semi-anon giggle about floundering as new parents.
That reminds me of reddit, where literally anything annoying, mean, or insensitive a man does is labeled abuse - usually emotional or financial abuse. Girl, run! Is the top comment in every thread and you'll see people commenting "divorce the manbaby" to women married for 10 years with 3 kids over the most minor arguments about chores. It's infuriating
Some genres pull the worst of people and if your comment is seen by thousands the worst misery (not kind) of people who take everything in bad faith to show up is only a matter of time.
Partner shaming has always been a thing, tiktok has just exposed out rampant it is and reaches a much broader audience then just friends/family/coworkers. oh, and it has always been the venue of women and it is how women bully each other with ostracization and shaming.
@@Notmyname1593 They're easily the most predictable of the pack, apart from village idiots.
@@MrSemanticprison Yeah AITA has the occasional good take, then everyone else either making assumptions that you cannot realistically make with the given information. Or jumping to an extreme conclusion.
As a dude the whole partner shaming thing is wild to witness sometimes. You can be sitting there catching strays because of something some other guy did. Wah wah all men this and that. Then you look at it and come to find out this man didn't do anything.
The craziest is when the wife gets mad at you because she had a dream she got cheated on and demands an apology. That is delulu behavior.
Wait til you're married and have kids but your wife doesn't want to stay home with the kids. Instead she tells you to stay home with the kids and then tells everyone that will listen what's a worthless lazy POS you are. I've been through it. I'm finally now after being divorced getting back to where I should've been 20 years ago
@@MrBuns-yi2hk Coming from a woman, it's probably projection from her also "cheating" on him in a dream.
I deal with this as well. I watch a lot of anime and J-dramas, K-dramas and K-pop as well as roleplay with friends as a hobby. Sometimes me and my character can become the same person in a dream and it can feel like I pretty much cheated on my husband with how real my dreams can feel. I always feel super guilty and I've even stopped playing certain games because I know the romance element of the game will enter into my dreams and make me feel bad later.
But I, like a healthy human being, deal with my own shit and realize dreams are dreams and partly influenced by my own fantasies. Maybe I'm just turned on by cheating? Maybe I want to write about two characters cheating on each other for dramatic effect. Maybe I'm just really stressed and that is how it decided to manifest. Idk, dreams are weird. But I know how real they can feel and how much they can affect your waking mind. It can be intense. But it's just something you gotta deal with. And actually it's pretty fun to explore new worlds and scenarios as if it's all completely real!
@@kimmiewise1044 That's very true! I'd say your mind is perfectly healthy to still have that imaginative factor plugged in. Many of us either don't have that anymore or go into full-blown psychosis when we haven't slept well for a few days. I'll never forget those times when I thought someone was peering at me from the corner of my eye only to realize there was nobody there. It absolutely tripped me out.
@@MetalSStar196 Thanks I've always been extremely imaginative and creative but talent in creative arts is a different story lol. I favor creative writing over other endeavors, but I also can get pretty envious reading other authors stuff and seeing how great they are at all kinds of storytelling.
I think if any woman has problems with hyper realistic dreams, they should consider getting into a creative hobby like writing or roleplay and actually try disconnecting from the real world every now and again. Not like going full on delulu, but just have a little fantasy time that separates your real self and real life from the fantasy. Like create an OC for Game of Thrones and say dream about them, watch a drama and imagine a relationship with that cute background character. Just something other than reality. Then when you have those dreams with that character loving you up or cheating, it's not real and you can immediately recognize that because it's all fictional. It's just that fantasy you've been working on and you feel less insecure about how you feel. It actually can motivate you to do more with your character or explore something you wouldn't have otherwise thought of.
"Proclaims 'mens' rights advocate'..."
Well that kinda narrows it down to you, Chloe, and Emily right off the bat.
Remember, brothers: vacuuming the wrong direction and not painting everything beige is abuse.
What's beige? Is that a blue or...
@@Renikal like a very light brown
@@koolcat6320 ah, I was way off. Doubt I'll evr need this knowledge though but hey, knowledge is knowledge
Vacuuming in the wrong direction?
How do you vacuum in the wrong direction?!
What if the walls ARE in need of a quick vacuum?
I have four walls, I want three different colours and a mural.
You never apologize for being "wrong" with these kinds of people. It generally only makes it worse for you. Be unapologetic. They won't be doing the same for you and give you "the benefit of the doubt." It just gives them something to use against you.
Oh lesson learned. I told myself early on I’d never do public apologies and this is exactly why.
It's like apologizing to Jesse Jackson in South Park.
@@thedadvocate
I'm not sure I agree. I think publishing an update about the Part 2 thing was reasonable.
More people should give others the benefit of the doubt.
Going along with the demands after that was the mistake.
I had a similar situation happen to me in the Indie Author Community a few years ago. Never will issue a public apology again, unless I think I legitimately screwed up. Never again.@@thedadvocate
Agree. Never apologize for an action you did not take.
Honestly, the fact that partner shaming happens enough for this series to be happening for over a year, and there's still no way it'll run out of content, is the scary part to me.
It doesn't feel rare, it feels mildly uncommon. I'm afraid the person I may marry could be like this, and I might never know.
Almost 100 episodes and I only cover maybe 1 out of maybe 30 videos I’m tagged in. 😳
Ouch.@@thedadvocate
Include a Social Media clause in your pre-nuptual agreement.
be careful thinking actions you see online are the mainstream . people that lead claim boring lives don't post stuff. for many posting about normal, safe, stable boring life stuff is pointless so you don't see it.
the posts you see online are negative shelf selecting group so it feels louder then it may really be.
@sweepauto
It's not even that it's "mainstream" or anything. It's that you'd *never know* until it's too late. It's like a landmine. You don't know there, unless there are warning signs, and when you step on it, it's too late to avoid it. That's why men are so checked out of marriage and dating now.
It's not that there aren't good women out there. There absolutely are. It's that the bad ones are very good at hiding it, to make it SEEM like they're the good ones, only to flip the script.
So, for the stamps one. The flag stamps come in a roll and the holiday stamps come in sheets. He would have had to buy multiple sheets but he could get it done with 1 roll and have leftover stamps for general use. So it makes sense to buy a roll.
That "the internet isn't real" comment is kinda tough because a guy unalived himself recently because of harassment over the internet. That coming from someone who harasses people over the internet is really messed up. All communities are social constructs, as is social media and virtual communities, all of which are on the internet. I met the woman I married on the internet. The internet is definitely a real thing. Glad you could find humor in the whole thing. I would have been seething.
I had no idea what was wrong until she mentioned the seasonal stamps. I rolled my eyes so hard. I don't think I've ever bought seasonal stamps because just unnecessarily more expensive.
I never knew people cared what the stamps looked like
@thedark1owns actually they're postage. They cost the same. Technically, stamps are US legal tender like money. But buying a roll is more convenient.
@Idkoogabooga4 most people don't. Some do. My mother wants her stamps to be pretty or cute. She always gets either flowers or birds or something with cartoon characters. You know, pretty or cute.
"praise publicly, criticize privately" is similar to something I say which is "a good friend says the worst things about you to your face and the best things about you to others behind your back"
You're not harsh, you're not harsh enough in my humble opinion.
Much love to you..💞🖤💞
Right? She's very thoughtful and deliberate. Chloe might have kicked in her bathroom door, called this woman up up live, and asked what her f*cking problem is and why she's lying. Lauren is a little more of a knife where Chloe tends to be more of a sledge hammer. Bless them both and the tools they bring. Love them both to pieces.
@@Halloween111
I also love Chloé and Lauren 😎
2 sides of a very valuable coin they are.
Love and blessings to the both of them. 🤘😎❤️🖤❤️🖤❤️🖤
The main problem I have with partner shaming is it's like a person saying to the world "I have gotten all the affirmation self worth and confidence and attention from the person I chose and they have given all they can possibly give and now its not enough so I need the bitter masses to tell me im right or too good for them because I can never get enough attention" it's emotional vampire territory
I dunno it makes me think that these women have already broken up with these guys but are simply to cowardly to initiate the actual life changing ordeal of saying it's over and instead is just going to shit test the guy until he explodes and demands a separation at which point she'll shrug, call him unstable and cruel and move on lol
@AnglophobiaIsevil7 yep probably justifying to themselves before setting some1 up to monkey branch
To the lady with the stamp complaints - You know what, if you have time and energy to complain about the stamps your husband puts on the mail, your life is pretty cozy/comfy. OR you're miserable. Or both. Or you're just a miserable toxic POS that needs to work on yourself. Any of those things are possible. Probably all of them. I guarantee you, he'll *never* put a stamp on a piece of mail for you again. Because *you* have to make an issue out of nothing, with something that was probably done in good faith/intent.
Most people don't give a rat's ass about the stamp on the mail they receive. Unless they're into stamps. I *never* bother with checking it out. It's just not important *at all*. And yet this is a hill you wanna go to war over.
Meanwhile, Lauren, love you. Big fan. You're awesome, amazing, and a lovely person. :)
Not once in my entire life have I noticed what a stamp looks like.
Yeah I was thinking who pays attention to the stamp. Maybe I’m the weird one
Yeah the whole "He's helping me, but he's doing it WRONG!" thing always bothers me, especially if the "wrong" consists of something this trivial. Why bother helping if you only get criticism instead of thanks. That will, of course, lead to them not helping at all, anymore - and get shamed for that, too.
@@derdes4475 - Yup. can't win for losing.
Also, stamps are a way to ensure your mail gets delivered, otherwise it's going to get returned to her because there was no stamp on the envelope. Mail couriers aren't stupid.
There's a reason you never appeal to terrorists... That's crazy rough shit what she was trying to do to you, though. I've seen many huge creators try and do very similar things to people with less support, and unfortunately, it usually works for a long, long time before they get their just desserts.
I'm glad that nightmare is over. We all love you. Thank you for everything you do.
The fact that either of these women are clinicians is just freaking scary.
This video screams “Do not cite the deep magic to me witch, I was there when it was written”
Firstly, I must say I'm sorry. I do not mean anything by this.
Secondly, *cite, as in a citation.
Thirdly, I am once again sorry. No one likes being corrected but I only do it helpfully.
@@titusfortunus2916 thank you! I suck ass at spelling lol I preferred someone correcting me and temporarily looking like a idiot that never being told even always looking like a idiot lol
@@titusfortunus2916 that's not nothing tho...
Seeing this quote today has made my day. ❤
Let's face it, if you're partner shaming YOU are no longer a partner YOU are an ADVERSARY. Shaming just shouldn't be done especially if you claim to love them don't treat them like a child no matter how they act or do it'll only build resentment and that's death to a partnership.
I bet you meant "adversary", as in opponent with malicious intent, not "advisory". :)
Your partner shaming episodes are entertaining for the same reason "instant karma" videos are entertaining. The backpedaling in the "actually we're fine" follow up videos is self own gold.
And this video is absolutely incredible for the same reason. That co-host should do her own thing, because she's clearly got different values.
The stamps complaint about weaponised incompetence & getting the stamps the wrong way. LMFAO Depictions of any flag as a point of heraldry show a flag Left to Right ALWAYS!. The flagpole Is on the left. It is ALWAYS shown landscape view not portrait. Therefore he was showing more knowledge about the actual placement than these budgets brained bimbos SMH
I am a 68 year old man married to my second wife for 45 years. I love your point of views on relationships and roles. Thank you for standing up for traditional roles and interpretation of the male viewpoint. I love your shorts and longs. Stay strong lady.
Partner shaming is real, my ex wife complained and shamed so much that I divorced her. Do not tolerate a disrespectful woman gentlemen.
Sometimes it's a shit test, but if you fail it the woman will pivot to using it as a way to tell you she's checked out and done but too much of a coward to be the one to "officially break it off". This is also when they start sleeping with other men. When you ask when you guys broke up years later she'll have placed that day after the breakup despite you not breaking it off yet, because to her it's over she's not with you. It's messed up but I have had tons of girls do this and it's also how they are able to truly Believe they have never really cheated on a guy ever, lol
If my second wife had tried partner shaming instead of trying to kill me, I would have noticed sooner and divorced her quicker. She came clean though, many years later, to let me know she didnt try to off me as many times as I thought she did. My guess was 5, so everyone thinks it was 4.
I dont do public arguments and partner shaming is just the digital version of publicly arguing. Big red flag. Tis simpler to walk/drive away and leave them where they are then find someone who actually appreciates and respects you.
5 simple rules
1. Dont lie to your family (about anything major - women love white lies - I’d love to know why this is)
2. Dont steal from your family
3. Dont talk about your family (no sharing secrets - you only embarrass yourself)
4. Dont embarrass your family (partner shaming/loud public arguments/etc)
5. Dont fuck w/your family’s money maker (ie the means with which your family pays bills/rent/etc)
If you find someone who understands and follows those 5 rules, marry them and you’ll live the whole happily ever after trip. Unless she has green hair w/goth tendencies, if so - she’s my 3rd wife so hands off.
Those stamps literally have the word "forever" printed on them, they are never "out of season."
shhh... if you point out that those women will cry mysogeny
.... Do you know what the "Forever" means?
@@awfulfalafelwafflerofl2800 it means forever in season
@@8-bitsarda747 No, it means if the price of stamps increase, you can still use those stamps.
@@awfulfalafelwafflerofl2800 r/whoosh
Sounds like you touched a nerve. Keep it up. The truth hurts those people.
Never apologize to these people. When they start sending that much crap, file harassment and block them.
I had a baby with a narcissist and she uses our baby to control me
She attacked me then called the cops and since she was pregnant (2 weeks pregnant) I couldn't defend myself, they put me in jail for 3 days then kept me from my child by dragging out our court date till the day before she gave birth
They tried to lock me up for a year because of her lies but I had no record so I got probation and these false assault charges off my record
She allowed me to be there at my daughter's birth but I wasn't allowed to sign the birth certificate
She said she'd make me leave if I had signed it, not be there for my daughter just because she desires control
She's 1 year old now and I still can't go after rights since I know I'll only get the weekends and right now she at least lets me see my baby every day as long as I buy her food or run her errands right after I get off work
Im struggling so much to give my child what she needs since her mother holds so much control over her
I've just been collecting as many videos as possible of her attacking me after the baby goes to bed to bring to court to get my child to have a stable environment to grow up in
It so hard walking on glass shard around narccists
I sneezed once and cracked my sterum. I thought someone punched me in the chest at full force. Took me a hour to fully recover from a simple sneeze.
My worst sneeze injury was a torn intercostal muscle. I was in pain for about 3 weeks. Do not recommend.
@@TheMonk72 I tore two muscles while picking up soap from the store.
I almost dislocated my knee, trying to stand up. It took me an hour for my knee to feel right.
In all fairness, sneezes pack more force than you'd realize. The snot goes flying at over 100 miles per hour, and if you actively try to hold in a sneeze, all that pressure can get rerouted through your ears and pop your eardrums.
Sneezing is one of the most violent things your body does on a regular basis
the echo chamber part was hilarious. How they didn't get the hypocrisy? This GOT to be on purpose
The lack of self-awareness from the likes of those people is truly something else.
@@RandoGrunt Too many people these days got it into their head that every reasonable, right-headed person on Earth would agree with them, and that anyone who doesn't is mentally, psychologically, or morally defective. It's the literal definition of an echo chamber mentality.
It probably plays a big part, it being on purpose. Outrage sells. It sells better than violence and sex appeal. It is addictive, easy, and crashes fast leading you to need to keep consuming.
If sex and violence are alcohol and powder cocaine, outrage is crack.
I watched a scifi series years ago that in it, men and women separated to such a degree that they were thought to be separate species in just two generations.
Both sides found a means to reproduce, using technology, without the other and they made the most of things.
The male planet was a military compound on a desert planet that they were struggling to turn into a working farm. It was a rank and file life style that was basically just High school from birth to death.
The Women's planet was a giant city, a hub of culture and style. And it was basically just Mean Girls: The City.
Everyone hated each other, everyone was petty and cruel.
It's one of the few "Battle of the sexes" stories that showcased both sides being equally pathetic
Because remember, if its one thing men are known for its our lack of agricultural knowledge. Men have no way of surviving off the land, never did.
Vandred?
>throws significant other under the bus
>throws them there again just to defend him from everyone else
the just kidding domestic abuser tactic, every time
Partner shaming is one of the worst trends, mostly because publicly humiliating another person and then doing a “oh but I was just joking” is called “Bullying” and no matter who is doing it, it is *never* justified or acceptable. Unless you’re on TikTok, where apparently it’s fine if it’s a woman doing it to a man they’re in a relationship with…
I swear, as a platform for showing humans at their most awful, TikTok is up there with Twitter/X for being an absolute cesspool.
As someone with OCD and married 10 years... I would brt every lasy penny stamps lady didn't ask for anything specific beyond "stamps"
I don't have OCD but yeah I would most likely do the same, especially if my partner has had eruptions or passive aggressiveness before..
You're right, she probably didn't! I don't see why she was so upset. I would find it adorable if my husband did that. Sure, part of me would be surprised at how differently his brain works than mine because we're that typical woman/man pairing where I tend to be more artistic/decorative and he's more practical. But things like that are part of why I love him so much. He helps me with the things that are important to me and adds his own touch to them, even if it's little American flags. lol.
I know I'm late to this thread but, I didn't even know what was wrong with the stamps until she pointed out that they were out of season. XD
For the Xmas card one, the post office really wants you to use the machine for stamps. The ONLY stamp option they had this past Xmas was flag stamps. I'll be darned if I'm going back during normal business hours, waiting in an Xmas line, just to buy Xmas stamps.
I don't even think that video rose to the level of partner shaming. She didn't actually say anything hurtful, or make a big deal out of it or anything, and she had clearly already mentioned it to him, and included his response in the description of her video. I've seen some comments here calling her toxic, which seems like as big an overreaction as those "divorce him" comments on most of these partner shaming vids.
@@adamsmall5598 I agree. Relationships are a challenge sometimes. Sometimes, you need to vent. The problem is, "Dear Diary..." used to have an audience of one. Now, it has an audience of 1.3M people who just want to watch the world burn.
@@RIBill Yeah, the fact that a large audience filled with not entirely stable people, some children, some hurting adults, some oblivious comedians, and some who love drama for drama's sake might not be the best place to share these kind of stories is a lesson I hope doesn't hit this lady too hard. But I'm not even sure she thought of this video as venting - she could have genuinely thought of it as a funny and cute moment, where her expectations were overturned by the fact that her husband isn't her. But your point stands. Women in general do like to vent to their friends about their relationship frustrations, and even when done in private, in person, to an audience of a few or even one, studies have shown that the response tends to be an echo of the woman's frustrations, which magnifies them and turns a small thing into a big thing. So, yeah, thousands of people echoing the worst of your own intrusive thoughts is definitely a problem.
Unfortunately the people with no accountability seem to be winning. Kudos on a good explanation of "poisoning the well". Your homework is "Gish Gallop"... :)
You're an advocate for fathers' rights. Fathers are men. So...whether you call yourself a men's rights activist or not, you are one. The fact the the term is so divisive is symptomatic of the very problems you talk about, as if the notion that men have rights and they need to be advocated for is controversial. I'd suggest you embrace the term with pride, as I am proud of you for doing it.
She's an advocate for people to have rights, not exclusively a "men's rights activist." This, if anything, is the original definition of feminism, which promotes equality and due recourse/accountability for all sides treated fairly.
I appreciate this but I just don’t like labels. I take pride in thinking for myself so I don’t like to be put into any boxes where people can claim I’m “just regurgitating someone else’s ideas”
@@thedadvocate I can empathize with that. People love pidgeonholing others based on labels. I just wanted to say that there's nothing wrong with advocating for men and I'm very happy that you are doing it. You are appreciated.
@@thedadvocateI agree with this take. You're making a difference on your own, you don't need to align yourself with any movement to do your thing. Even if, technically speaking, your work does fall under the category of advocating for men's rights.
I thought the same thing. It was a little unsettling that she thought it was one of the most disgusting labels. Men's rights, especially fathers, are in need of being advocated for more than any other demographic at this point. Mens rights advocate should be a respected label.
Takeaway from this. NEVER APOLOGIZE TO THEM!! Sure, you can issue an addendum to the video, but when you do, you do so from the premise of added information for context, and never once utter the word "sorry" or "apology/apologize" unless it it preceded by "I do not" or "I am not" and followed up with, "deal with it!"
The uwu voice I could handle, but the moment she actually said "uwu" broke me. This woman is a natural treasure, not on a national level but on a global scale.
I believe the term for that is ‘wonder of the world’.
And yes, I completely agree.
I’M GLAD I WASN’T THE ONLY ONE WHO HEARD THAT 😂😂😂
Silly jokes can easily turn into nasty arguments. And publicly making these "jokes" on social media is just plain stupid. Another wonderful benefit of social media and fools who overuse it.
Thanks for barking, Lauren! I appreciate it because if I do it, people be like, "aHA! I told you! Men be unhinged!"
It's not like you're out here lobbing ad hominem attacks or straw-manning- you usually just look at/comment on things very reasonably unless someone is being ridiculous, and then they get roasted for their silly behavior. I have come to appreciate your point of view.
Been watching the partner shaming series for a while. I literally have no idea how this womans statements make ANY sense what so ever.
Wait wait what? Are these pod cast people serious? Please for the love of all that is holy and happy tell me they are not this delusional.
This level of delusion is bad, I feel like drugs are involved....
Keep going dadvocate! Gotta shame them partner shamers cause it's NOT normal.
Also love the partner praiser series. Makes me have faith in humanity again.
Where is the partner praiser series? I don't see it in the channel's playlists.
So now she needs to cover the opposite of her content to balance it out? Who does that? Does Ben Shapiro also post leftist content once a week to keep it balanced?
As a woman who’s men’s rights advocate girl own it, there’s nothing wrong with advocating for men to have equal rights.
It’s crazy to me to think that someone would go “Sure, boo! Put me on blast on the internet! I’m okay with that!”
Nobody is really OK with that unless they have a fetish for humiliation. People just have this weird idea that admitting that something can hurt you is weak, and you should never admit weakness.
OMG. I could post so much shaming stuff about a former roommate I had. I own the house, and she was a friend so we only split cost of living. There was no rent for her room, no security deposit, she only paid for half of the monthly bills, and all of the furniture an appliances outside of her room were mine. One day while I was at work, her boyfriend broke up with her, so she and another fried rearranged the living room without telling me. Normally, I'd be fine with it especially if consulted, but she covered all of the vents with couches and furniture because she thought they were ugly. Most men will know what this does to an electric bill. She also put the tv on a Northern wall that faces a Southern window. Which means that there is no time of day that there is sun, that there won't be a glare. I was told to just shut up and deal with it because she's a woman going through a breakup.
Who told you to shut up?
Well, that's one shaming post. That's probably enough though. After all, isn't that what Dadvocate is against? Well, if the situation was bad for you, I am glad you are no longer in it.
"We'll soon you'll be a woman dealing with homelessness" my response to my problems trump everything people.
Please tell me you kicked her out
@@adamsmall5598 idk, shaming by the podcasters standards ig
That was about the most subtle us of sarcasm I think I've ever seen. Touche. I loved it. It looks good on you.
I like how you replace sensationalism of others with realism. Your advice is fair and solid. You helped me set boundaries with my spouse. Thank you.
37:30. There are people who firmly believe that simply the act of disagreement is violence.
Nah Its more general than that.
Has nothing to do witu violence, they just dont use words cotrectly.
Whats happening is they are expanding the ramifications of the concept of "harm"
Harm doesnt require a physical aspect, and its a very nebulous term. If they can equate the conceptual elements of harm as equal to actionable ones then they have a conlmpletely bulletproof and entirely subjective meterstick to use however they like.
This all happens in the subconcious. Part of the pathways our brains developed to manage guilt and self image.
Commenting before watching: "oh, this'll be good, Anyone want some popcorn?" lol
🍿🍿🧋
This reminds me of the tv shows where no matter what the dad is a fail
Your logic consistently tracks, so its no wonder that there are those that hate you. An unfortunate number of people hate logic for varied reasons. One of them being to avoid accountability.
Thank you for being a visible voice of reason. I is very needed. For some, its a breath of fresh air, and for others, it can be a starting point to recognizing the need for change. I can be hard to see the toxicity in things that are all you know.
My wife is also a C-section mom and lost both parents and an Aunt to cancer.
That's some major bonus points for using the clip from my favorite Twilight Zone episode.
Can we just take a moment to think about how ridiculous it is that advocating for "mens rights" is hate adjacent?
The term "feminist" has definitely lost some of its luster these days but many many more treat "men's rights activist" as equivalent to saying they're basically in a hate group. Yes there's a reason for that, and no it's not a good one.
@@troodon1096Is there ever a good reason for generalized misrepresentation?
While i do agree the guy wasn't intentionally screwing up the stamps, i do not believe in the slightest that the flag even registered. She told him to buy stamps. He went to the post office and bought stamps. The end. I can only assume that you have to specifically ask for holiday stamps or something. Cant speak from experience, but i would have done the same. If she wants some cute snowman stickers, shes gotta tell me to get the snowman ones or shes getting whatever comes across the counter
If you have a specific requirement or preference with how a task is done, EXPLICITLY STATE IT, or you have no right to be mad for them not reading your mind. It doesn't matter if you're a man or a woman, or if you're giving the request to a man or a woman. This has been my pet peeve with other people for years. It's why I left the military after my 4 years was up, and the main reason I've quit many jobs.
Well, the part of her description of her video that Dadvocate didn't highlight says he told her that the flag stamps were his way of adding his touch to the cards. SO, they talked about it, before she posted the video. And her reaction seems perfectly fine. She laughed about the situation. I think, in the end, she was happy that her husband added a piece of himself to something she cared about, rather than thought he was bad for doing so.
It infuriates me that some individuals believe it's acceptable to publicly shame their partners. I legitimately struggle to comprehend this behavior. To any rational person, it's an inherently repugnant and immoral act. Relationships rely on trust, love, and communication to thrive, and this single action violates each of them. First, if someone genuinely loves their partner, engaging in such behavior is unthinkable, they would never do it. These individuals may claim to "love" their partner, but it's painfully obvious that they only care about their social status, to the point where it's more important to them than finding someone to confide in, love, and spend the rest of their life with. Second, by publicly shaming their partner, they callously betray their partner's trust, displaying an arrogance that belies the seriousness of such an act. Third, they typically don't to inform their partner of this, nor engage in a meaningful conversation to address the issue collaboratively and seek a healthy and reasonable resolution or compromise. It's not just baffling; it's downright maddening that some individuals can be so callous and disrespectful in their relationships. That is an immediate break up, because those guys deserve better in the vast majority of these cases. I'll of course acknowledge that some individuals are truly god awful human beings, but even then it's better to leave them and be done with it, instead of wasting your very valuable time on it.
Sorry for the rant, I've watched a bunch of your videos, and just had to get that off my chest. I'm happy you also share in my gobsmackery when listening to these people. You're responses and reactions never fail to restore more of my faith in humanity, and you get a genuine laughs out of me.
Lol I accidentally turned on tic Tok and started recording. Then somehow the text and captions randomly showed up. The weirdest part is it somehow posted itself
Yeah. Definitely recognized the voice lol. Good video and I'm glad you now know the rule. Never negotiate with terrorists
Who is it?
37:11 - It doesn't even have to be about men.
It's all about "empowerment" until you mention taking responsibility and accountability.
What these kinds of fake feminists mean when they say "empowerment" is "the empowerment of victimhood."
You don't even have to empathise with men for toxic women to become offended when you say things like, "Treat those around you how you would want to be treated." And then it's."No, they need to accept me and love me unconditionally, ESPECIALLY at my worst and despite all my toxic flaws!"
ill tell ya, i just discovered your channel recently. i am a stay at home dad, my wife works full time. i love your channel, it helps me be a better "wife" to my wife.
i watched the wifestrike/husband strike compilation earlier today. by the end of it, i broke down crying, immediately messaged my wife telling her how much i love her and how lucky i am to have her. it broke my heart to think two people can treat each other in such a way for so long and still try to call it a relationship.
i also agree with the idea "public shaming isnt a good way to handle someone doing something you dont like", and while i see some hipocracy of you public shaming wifestrike, it feels deserved, as in, "you got what you gave" so, kudos to you for standing up to her, and helping husbandstrike find a voice to stand up to her.
I'm just gonna say it. This is the most chill response I've ever seen a youtuber do when they are being called a terrible person. I also watch videos by metatron who regularly gets called other terrible stuff by people doing exactly what they did to your videos.(taking out of context in the worst light possible) It's just nice to see someone who is responding with the same care into debunking points while still sounding chill. Have a great day ma'am and you have earned a sub.
Fastest way to become single as fuck
Always great to see your insightful videos, girl!
It seems to me that Partner Shaming is a coping mechanism that these women are using to deal with the fact that most of them settle for their husbands. He wasn't the guy that they really wanted, and they wanted to make themselves feel better about the decision that they made. You do not bash your man if you truly love and are in love with him.
They thought their level was being tossed around by chad. But have the temerity to act hoiler than thou against a guy actually willing to commit.
Bro these edits go pretty hard
lol I added some, my editor added some, we both had a lot of fun with this one
I love being called a “pick me” because my husband did pick me… 21 years ago 😂😂😂
You know what I enjoy saying about my husband online? He’s fkg awesome!! 🎉
Now does that mean he's really awesome or awesome at fkg?
Mhm, I'll go with both, I think XD
I'm glad you enjoyed the podcast! I don't know how I didn't see that you actually ended up discussing it. The part where the cohost said you shouldn't secretly record your partner, plus the part where they say when men do it it's vicious but when women do it it's totally justified were just so ridiculous. And the fact that it all started with a discussion about postage stamps!
I do not have the words to describe the breakdown of the analysis of the podcaster’s obsession with what should or should not occur with another woman’s “parts”.
I found the stamps part hilarious. Last summer I had to send a letter (first in years for me) so grabbed the stamps out of the envelope drawer in the printer stand. All we had were Christmas stamps. At least they were "forever stamps". I guess, in a way, it made sense.
Looked to me like the poster thought the stamp issue was funny, too. Me too, really. I liked it. I don't think that one qualified as partner shaming, really.
TIL that Hanlon's Razor is the short version of a phrase I have used to death. Thanks for that!
Lauren, I appreciate your feelings of responsibility for what other Content Creators experienced with this much larger contributor.
AND, those other CCs do deserve an apology for the experience.
FROM HER!!!
Her actions, her harassment, her abusiveness, and her responsibility to accept accountability for her craptastic shitfuckery.
The Partner Shaming series is making me more aware of the impact of my comments in the public sphere, and a better person.
And I am grateful to and for you & TJ 🇦🇺✌️🙏
Wait, the complaint is that he put American Flag stamps on Christmas card envelopes? The are all upright in the same corner. I was looking for the one that was tilted 90° or upside down... Stamps are on the envelopes, they get send. Task done.
Yeah, that woman is the problem...
I honestly never notice thew stamps on any mail I get. Look for my name, than the sender and finally the contents. Besides, it's the American flag, it's good all year around in my eyes.
Easy there, fella. There's not necessarily a "problem" at all. She was expecting holiday themed stamps, and posted a video because she was (probably) amused rather than mad about it. Getting upset that her expectations were different and calling her a problem for it are unhealthy if not toxic reactions.
As someone who was a victim of an emotionally abusive woman for 17 years, I can tell you the woman at the beginning was very much that. Every time I got injured, seriously or not, it was treated as an inconvenience by my now ex wife. I broke my foot in two places while trying to help a lost child in a theme park, and she could not have been more upset at me at the bother of having to go slower because I had to spend the rest of the day in a wheelchair. Please note, we did not go home, I didn't get medical care until the next day, I still went on all the rides with my son, who's birthday it was, it just slowed us down, and her eyes rolled so hard I don't think I saw anything but the white the entire day.
I personally like hearing points of view on both sides, I live in Australia and yet simple topics are just hard to talk about at times. i might lean left, but like to hear the right.
God bless you for deciding not to make concessions to bullies anymore. Thank you for being a voice of reason for the disaster that is modern relationships, and calling out poor behavior for what it is.
The fact that people are deliberately trying to bring you down tells me that your doing a great job, because they can’t actually refute any of your points.
She went super saiya-jin blue straight out the gate?!?!?! Here we gooooo!!!!
Btw, muscle tears hurt. Seems weird, but it really does.
Love the fact that’s is like all an accident and just a joke but then they immediately tell on themselves and say it’s actually a bat signal to dump on their man and see them as victims and their partners as bullshit
Keep them coming ❤ Love this series
Ill go even farther on the stamp thing. As a 30 year old man, this was my real time learning that people gave a shit about the type of stamp used depending on the season. I bought a 100 roll of Flag stamps years ago and i use them for literally everything because i had no idea anyone actually cared
ill admit the editing going crazy, you do that for all 50 minutes, this video must have taken you at least 9 Starbucks trips
lol I’ll chill after this 🤣
As a real content creator or script writer, do you really think Lauren made trips to Starbucks. She obviously occupied a table at a Starbucks 😁
im a 43 year old single man and im currently in the process of building a race car that i call "toxic masculity" (because its cheaper and safer than dating). Women like these are the very reason that i would rather spend all my free time welding and turning wrenches, theres honestly no upside to attempting to date anymore...at least with building the car theres some fun in it for me when the work is done and its not going to verbally abuse me for the effort that i put in to it....thank god for women like Lauren showing the next generation what they Are in for if they are going to try to date...good luck to anyone who is out there trying......good luck!
Find a woman who appreciates a good DIY project
Sounds like a badass car dude.
Thank God for women like Lauren, showing the next generation what kind of woman they could aspire to be, or aspire to have in a partner. Let's hope people take the positive message of "you can have a good relationship and be a good partner" with a side of "but be careful, there are some crazies out there" rather than the negative AWAB and AMAB views (acronym replacing 'cops' with 'men/women.)'
I have been on a dadvocate binge 10/10 would Recommend
Welcome to the party 😁
Calling a married woman or a woman in a relationship a "pick me" always gets a chuckle out of me.
the whole stamp thing is a great example of why i'll probably be single for the rest of my life. yes i fully understand it's not something "christmas themed;" but to have an emotional reaction to something like that ANY further than "ehh, ok," tells me you care about completely unimportant things to the point of physical emotional changes that makes me seriously question what other almost entirely insignificant things will trigger you. i dont wanna deal with the problems brought on by something that small. i'm 35 freaking years old, i dont want a 16year old for a wife.
Didn't seem like she had anywhere near as negative a reaction to the stamps as you had to her video. I think you may be reading a lot more into that reaction than her or her husband did. And if your first reaction to such a minor issue is to belittle the other person (mocking them as triggered and immature), then you might want to work on that a little.
@@adamsmall5598the stamp thing is not a problem, its a sample.
If you were to start a relationship with a woman like that you know loves making mountains out of molehils your life will be filled many unnecesary headches.
And there is _many_ like that, i would know. Working in a officine with 30 women. I get along the best with the literal _only_ girl that doesnt actively add toxicity to the working enviroment.
NEVER APOLOGIZE TO THESE PEOPLE!
Seeing a level headed person debunk all these toxic men haters (for the most part) is heartwarming, but seeing in the comments women agreeing that we shouldn't do these fucked up things is on another level of wholesome.
You know what I noticed about the stamps? Each one is placed a uniform distance from the corner, perfectly straight, no peeling edges that I can see. When I see those stamps, I see that this man didn't just haphazardly rush through a task his girlfriend asked him to do as quickly as possible to get back to whatever else he was doing. This man recognized that this was important to his partner and took even just a little bit of extra time to make sure it was done well and looked good.
Freedom Stan did nothing wrong. Those stamps are festive year round.
"It's not a competition." Truer words about a relationship were never spoken. And yet here we are.
I don't sleep walk but I have very restless sleeping habits. I once cracked my ribs while I slept. If something hurts, it hurts.
You know how hard it is for men to go to the doctor because of our upbringing of "Walk it off" (also the terrible health care system we have in the US). I applaud anyone willing to check out injuries.
I just wanna say that I have that same exact grappling dummy you've got in the background! I started jiu-jitsu last year and it's been the best thing ever for both me and my son.
Good ol’ Schrödinger’s Intent. It means both things until called out, then it means what I totally meant it to mean.
Also, the upsetting thing is that these podcasters seem to be so clinically online that they can’t understand that the idea of NOT posting these videos. They see these things in their partners and don’t realize that they don’t have to post anything. They could simply talk it out and deal with the situation, but that doesn’t come into their heads. It’s sad to see.
It strikes me as the sort of thing where pre-internet, they might just talk about it with a friend, in an "Is it crazy that this annoys me?" way. The friend might give good or bad advice, the internet (driven by outrage-generating algorithms) will never give good advice.
No one should lose anyone to cancer. I almost started crying when you said that. You are a rock, Lauren, stay strong!
On the stamp one I'd not even have thought about it. They all do the same job.
I really love your videos. I have had my ups and downs with relationships, and I learned a long time ago that if this was how someone is going to be (the many examples in your video I mean) then its better off that I leave them and forget about them. (keep in mind its after some attempts of communicating on the issue.) Yeah, just nope. Ill keep going with out the issues thanks ^_^.
Thanks for the awesome content.
Thank you
I can tell you really have your heart in this, and its so much appreciated.
“They aren’t trying to shame their partners…” Guess it just comes naturally 😂😂😂
Thank you for the videos. As a man it easy to feel down and misunderstood. Its nice to think that at least one woman can see things from a mans perspective. Your videos mean so much to me. Thank you
I actually really appreciate this series.
I don't know that it was to the level of partner shaming, but my ex-wife posted on twitter (under her real name) about how annoyed she was that she had to share tape with me when we were wrapping gifts together.
It was surreal to see, because when I eventually saw it I realized any random twitter follower knew she was annoyed at me before I knew. I was sitting right next to her, trying to contribute and she was tweeting about me instead of just saying something. Awesome.