How Dating Apps Trick you into Staying Single
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- Опубликовано: 6 ноя 2023
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Dating apps may seem like they're here to help us find love, but they actually profit when we stay single. With the dating scene evolving, we wonder: Can we still find love?
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Caya
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Sources:
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www.tinderpressroom.com/singl...
www.singlesinamerica.com/
today.yougov.com/society/arti...
www.statista.com/statistics/4...
www.statista.com/statistics/2...
www.eharmony.com/desirability...
www.singlesinamerica.com/
courses.lumenlearning.com/wm-...
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klinglerlaw.com/faq/asked-dat...
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blog.gitnux.com/millennial-da...
www.nytimes.com/2019/07/02/we...
helenfisher.com/millennials-r...
www.barna.com/research/behavi...
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abcnews.go.com/Health/story?i...
today.yougov.com/society/arti...
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Do you think is possible to find love in a hopeless place (like Tinder, and Bumble)?
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Love perhaps. But at least we can find people with common interests. Maybe friends. Honestly I can't say for sure. But what's the alternative?
You skipped Gen-X buddy (1965-1980)
Hell no. POF made me feel like a POS.
Man is created to praise, reverence, and serve God our Lord, and by this means to save his soul.
And the other things on the face of the earth are created for man and that they may help him in prosecuting the end for which he is created.
From this it follows that man is to use them as much as they help him on to his end, and ought to rid himself of them so far as they hinder him as to it.
For this it is necessary to make ourselves indifferent to all created things in all that is allowed to the choice of our free will and is not prohibited to it; so that, on our part, we want not health rather than sickness, riches rather than poverty, honor rather than dishonor, long rather than short life, and so in all the rest; desiring and choosing only what is most conducive for us to the end for which we are created
The Catechism of the Catholic Church(CCC), quoting Vatican II, says the following: “God willed that man should be ‘left in the hand of his own counsel,’ so that he might of his own accord seek his Creator and freely attain his full and blessed perfection by cleaving to him.” (1730) God doesn’t force us to seek and love him; it is something that he has left us free to do..
Nice try but you data is like really bad. Look at an actual divorce statistic that doesn't lie on the y-axis and conveniently chooses the first date to be 2008. Nice try
i’m going to give you folks the best advice someone ever gave to me.
“Boy, Don’t spend all your time chasing girls… you chase your dreams and they’ll chase you”
RIP legend
I want a family and to be a devoted husband to a great wife but I think this is what I'll do from now on.
Chasing my dreams has been painful and a long road, but not as long or painful as my relationships.
In the succinct words of 50 Cent. “You must be crazy if you chasing a b**ch, stupid, chase the paper, they come with the s**t”
Better advice: chase their dreams by feeding them fiction
@@cordfortina9073 Hahaha ! For real 😂
Gold diggers chase men with money yet you guys hate gold diggers.
Coming off from a relationship i choose to not use an app. After some time i meet someone and the first Date was a walk in the park, now she's the best girlfriend I have ever had. Break the expectation, be free.
Thank you for setting the example you wish to see in the world, my friend. I have the same goal in mind, and I hope to follow in your footsteps.
100% agreed. The best, most beautiful girls I dated or had relationship with I met in person by chance or through friends. Dating apps were the worst source.
Friend zoned, damn
It's understated how much being the children of divorce and seeing our parents just following the norms due to societal expectations made us cynical about the whole experience. On the one hand, fewer relationships are being formed, but on the other hand, the ones that do end up being formed are more durable. We look at the "boomer humor" of hating your wife as strange and disturbing, and that's really a function of having a family not being the default anymore. I agree that fostering a more healthy dating culture would be beneficial, but let's not forget that the older generations got into horrible marriages just because they felt they had to.
As a child of divorce, I second this.
- Caya
100%
I sort of agree. As a Gen X-er we did have options but marriage was more of a cultural norm.
the ones that do end up being formed are more durable. 😂😂😂😂😂😂 this part was a joke right?
@@irfuelthat’s not very durable at all
In Italy, we liken this kind of rationalization to the tale of "the fox and the grape." Just like the fox who couldn't reach the grapes and then dismissively claimed they were too sour, people often mask their inability to attain something by belittling it. Men might brush off a romantic rejection by claiming the woman wasn't their type, even when she's evidently beyond their reach. Similarly, women might lament the lack of quality men, conveniently overlooking that the men they date aren't seeking serious commitments. It's a classic case of sour grapes, where we devalue what we cannot have.
However men tend to be more honest when they get rejected or 'shoot their shot' then faced with rejection, and content to acknowledge she may have been 'out of their league'. Statistically the women who complain about the lack of quality men are the ones hooking up with men that have MANY options and not acknowledging the average man that is within their league that is looking for a genuine relationship.
@@gavinr9107we should be friends bro. I'll look upto your words from here on. 😂
@@gavinr9107 "Statistically"?? What statistic is that, then? IMO it's pretty ironic for a man to claim that "men know when women are out of their league, it's women who are at fault for not settling for us 'nice guys'." When in fact there's a whole group of men on the internet whose whole identity is about not being able to get with women (who are clearly above their league but they won't admit it) -- the incels. And said men even go as far as to go on murder sprees out of rage that they can't get with women that are better than them. But, sure, it's the women who are delusional... I guess you consider yourself one of those super nice average men that women should simply date more, huh? So an incel.
Tech didn't break dating. Capitalism did. Tech is like energy, it neither bad nor good but the person who weilds it decides if it's a force for good or evil.
The "person"?!
My husband and I met in a cliché way. I was the bartender and he kept coming up to me for drinks. By the end of the night when he asked me out, it felt so natural and I was eager for my shift to end to see him. Neither of us had social media or dating accounts either. I feel like staying out of the loop that our generation is in made it so easy for him and I to spot each other! I believe there are PLENTY of young men and women dating this way too
I needed to read this ❤ Hope has been elusive. I’m really happy for you and thank you for sharing 🙂
@@MzVixen05 aww thank you! And best of luck to you out there💕
Yes! THIS IS HOW I MET MY BF. Face to face! He started talking to me in the street and he didn't seem creepy and we had a nice conversation. Eventually he became my bf. Dating apps don't work. We are monogamous and I am very happy with him. He is a good guy
This is how it's done. This is the only way. The apps are trash 🗑️
...but women dont like good guys.
😈🤘😎
I liked the end because thats what really going on as millennials. We really dont have a choice. We live in a world of the gig economy and the workplace basically abusing us by overworking and underpaying. Who has time to date with the standards that are out there? Its really quickly becoming and elite privalege to be in a relationship and to get married which i dont think i want go live in a world where that is solidified. I know i was born in the wrong time and this falls on deaf ears.
I made the exact same observation so I got my passport and traveled to my motherland and found a wife instantly
Similar feelings here in Canadian gen Zs, including me
In our post industrial capitalist society, multinational corporations hate the "small nuclear family" (husband, wife, 2.5 kids) unit- families save and invest money. But single adults, especially women, spend money and go into debt buying- clothes, useless tech (new Iphone MXXV), drugs, cosmetic surgery, leasing cars & trucks they can't afford, summer home shares they can't afford, trips to resorts, casinos, cruises, etc. Capitalism wants us single and lonely! More profits.
We do have a choice. The other option would be to unify and overthrow the status quo (ban dating apps and social media). But this task would be tremendously difficult.
Deep! Didn't realize it was this bad now. I haven't used a dating app in years. Probably why I'm still single. dating apps are just such a scam now. I really feel these days we are losing deep connection amongst people. it can form digitally but most people don't use it that way.
People use digitally as another tinder
Any other Gen Xers notice how we just vanished into oblivion? LOL A note about the divorce rate stat that everyone who reports this seems to miss; divorce rates are down because marriage rates are down.
Based on demographic data... There was never a time in the past where Gen X outnumbered boomers, and there will never be a time in the future where Gen X outnumbers millennials. We're the "trough" between two peaks.
it should make sense that being swiped left on by strangers doesnt hurt as much as in-person rejection from someone you know, but if that was the case, the manosphere and incel culture would be much smaller. The accumulation of never hearing back apparently *does* hurt as much as face-to-face rejection, going based off the way some men complain about the modern dating scene.
which like... as a society, we all need to wean ourselves off of the concept that your attractiveness is at all equivalent or related to your worth as a human being. *and the idea that your swipe rate is exactly equivalent to your attractiveness 😑🙄
Sure, but that would require dismantling the beauty/fitness industries, both ENORMOUS manifestations of Capitalism,
It's something the manosphere and feminists should work together on, (as well as other groups) but getting them to even talk to each other, rather than scream at each other is nigh on impossible. How would we even begin?
only the sexless listen to the manosphere and feminism@@andreaslind6338
@@andreaslind6338 I hear you but I think that we -- as in anyone who appropriately focuses on solving issues at the root -- need to leave alone the "we can only solve x if we dismantle the entire system of capitalism first" thing because while yes, total eradication of certain problems would require dismantling the late stage capitalist hellscape we live under, that isn't going to happen in our lifetimes.
that's not me claiming to have an answer, by any means. i'm some regular rando on the internet, so i'm not proposing how we would begin. but i do think that identifying mutually beneficial goals is one of the best places to start. getting the 'manosphere' and feminists (both generally nebulous groups that anyone can claim to be part of or represent) to work together seems as appropriate and likely as getting skinheads and black panthers to work together -- but I think a strong, *strong* couple of groups to start dismantling these toxic beauty ideals with are disillusioned young men still searching for answers (not having 'found' them already in sus places) and radicalized women (not referring to trans-exclusive feminists or any other soft-white nationalist types).
anyway... lol /end rant
@@notynottoday well, maybe if we taught guys that they don't need to look like Chris Hemsworth to get a date/be masculine/valuable, that would help...the problem is that women do find it attractive, and (all things being equal) they do not find regular/fat guys attractive. So wed need to change women too.
Maybe if we could apply feminist theory to male issues, ie feminists have long railed against the beauty industry, and tell women that they don't need to be beautiful to be valuable, but a similar attitude does not exist on the manosphere side, the manosphere is about becoming the Alpha male women clamor over. I know the guys yearn to know that they are good enough but society just does not give men that option. For us its be strong or die alone.
Put another way, in the past women had to be beautiful and men powerful to be valuable. Nowadays women no longer have to be beautiful, but men still have to be powerful to be valued. This needs to change.
So yeah...lets apply feminist theory to men's issues (changing the language of course).
Im sorry but your attractiveness is a huge part of your worth why do you think people treat others differently based off looks? Theres literally a term called the halo effect which pretty much proves exactly that. Now im not saying is SHOULD be considered part of someones worth but most people honestly do and thats just how it is. You cant take away the way certain less attractive people are treated in their lives because you want to instill positive principles upon them, trust me...ive tried. But then again when people say shit like this its almost like youre putting the onus on the less attractive people to see their own inherent value magically when thats not whats been reflected throughout their lives. Thats another reason you got your heart in the right place but logic in the wrong one.
LOL oh man, I couldn’t stop laughing at all the images with the eggplants and peaches fornicating. Bravo to the graphics team for their creativity! 😂
I thought they were apples 💀
I actually find a lot of this frightening. This idea that sex is expected first isn't very logical to me and on the first date i went on in years i got raped and he took my virginity and gave me injuries and people saying "but you were on a date" as an excuse just made the whole thing more traumatic. I have a disability where i can't always talk, i need multiple dates just to decide if i even like the person and if they can understand me. Not everyone is into the idea of you sticking thier genitals into them as a way to get to know what they are like, it tells you nothing about a person except that they have a lack of self control.
That's terrible. I'm so sorry for what you went through. Wish you well 💛
So sorry to hear this. I hope you are recovering from this traumatic experience 😢
Sorry about that monster, Miss; wish you never had to experience that. And I agree, this sex interview concept is just effing stupid. The only sex that's worth it anyways is when you actually give a shit about the person you're with.
Sorry for what happen to u and exactly I think it is a lack of control. And ppl are already doing the sleeping with someone on first date and they get ghosted. Giving ur body to the first person u go on a date with. Is insane. I don’t even call it dating I see we’re hanging out. Just friends. Ur be surprised how ppl act when it’s just a ‘’friendship’’ situation. I need at least 7months to a year for me to even trust to want to sleep with someone.
Nice. “Treat em rough get da muff!”
Dating apps the way they are currently are absolute dogshit. But app dating is literally the only way I could ever meet a woman 😂 the type of women I go for don't go to bars or nightclubs typically, and I'm not in college anymore. There's literally no other way
“There’s literally no other way?” Bars and nightclubs are only 2 places. Social events in the city, work, the gym, the library, restaurants, malls, grocery stores, music concerts, cruises, conventions, volunteering, art shows etc. Who are the type of women you go for? I’m pretty sure you can find them at any of the places I mentioned.
@beatbuildersstudio Nah, approaching women off the street or whatever is not for me. Dating apps give you a reason to flirt/talk, you don't have to be suave or good at approaching women etc. Also it's just more convenient and faster paced. I was going on 3 dates a week, all different women. It's like speedrunning the process. And to be clear.
Im a 5/10 at MOST 😂
@irfuel also this. Approaching women as a stranger is like the dating equivalent of cold calling. It can work, but you're getting off on a bad start
@irfuel Exactly
There's a weirdly political reason behind this line of thinking, but that's another story
@@beatbuildersstudioYeah, unless you look like Henry Cavill, approaching a woman in the gym is a one way ticket to a lawsuit or public humiliation on social media
As an older millennial I'm just glad I got to experience normal dating and relationships before everything became so weird... "Vetting" someone through dms is total bullshit because the ability to formulate responses and present an ideal version of yourself destroys all credibility. Getting to know someone face to face, while not perfect, is still so much more genuine for so many reasons. Personally I can't stand the idea of dating apps.
I agree, as a 29 year old I do miss 2006-2012 years before OD really blew up
@wk2k11 yeah it kinda sucks now. I still manage to get myself into relationships without dating apps, but I haven't been in an actual GOOD relationship since they became popular
@@MicBain81 How are you meeting them, is it through social circle?
@wk2k11 yeah, just dumb luck really haha.. Someone I met at a convention (I'm an illustrator so I had a table next to them in artist alley), a room mate in a shared rental house (do NOT recommend), an ex from highschool I ran into, someone from a party... But they've all been disasters and they're getting shorter and shorter.. meanwhile I'm getting so old, ugh... actually given up at this point 😆 being single is ok I guess.....
@@MicBain81 At least you've had a relationship tbh dude haha, my resume consists of a few one night stands and a couple of escorts, never had a girlfriend before.😂
I thank God I never went into dating apps. To date someone, my method was to get to be friends first and only get into romance after a few months or even years of knowing each other. This didn't have failed me as long as I remember. Now I'm in a committed relationship with my 3years prior best friend.
Idk but I think the slow dating still works and is very fulfilling. But to each their own I guess.
Lmao, look at this loser
Same here
It hasn't worked out yet, but what do I know? I'm a 20 year old kid, I still have a lot of time, right?
Are we replacing our interactions because we cannot have the interactions?
This is it.
Yet another outstanding video highlighting a postmodern dilemma. It successfully brings attention to a societal concern, but refrains from passing judgment, acknowledging that the determination of good or bad ultimately rests with each individual to discern. A thought-provoking paradox indeed.
Monogamy is criminally underrated.
What to do about it.
The destruction of the nuclear family is to blame
@@NICOLASLAM-xy6mndoesn’t help that society and overall culture hates it, somehow having a loving family and relationship is demonized now. Being in this weird gray zone where you never commit to someone doesn’t benefit anyone except corporations, which spearheaded this trend.
How can it be underrated when it's the default relationship type and what is represented in 99% of all media (songs, movies, tv shows etc.) until very recently?
@@scruvydomare you serious? Just because spider man has tons of tv shows and movies doesnt mean anyones gonna get his powers any time soon. Pay attention man you cant sit here and realistically tell me that most people nowadays arent gay or trans or speak on tik tok about "polygamy" or "open relationships" nothings wrong about being gay or trans but most of them are NOT in monogamous relationships! On top of that its supposedly the "default" relationship type but people are still speaking and acting out against it, thats a huge part of what makes it underrated. foh with the ignorance PLEASE!!
you have no idea how much i look forward to your videos
Such a cool video! Congrasts for the final result! Amazing data and super cool edition! Keep it up!
I'm 35 and had more than my fair share of women, mostly through hard work, i've read a ton on seduction and just understanding women. But, besides dating apps Covid changed people too, the microbiome shifts make people more anxious/depressed and will lack motivation and drive.
But in the dating world, a normal person seems to be looked at like the bottom of the barrel, dating apps made women believe all of them deserve the best and there was a recent poll and when asked if you could find a person that fits 80% of what you want most men said that would be a catch and women said that they wouldn't settle. That tells you everything you need to know. There is plenty of data on women inflated ego but nobody wants to believe it
That's interesting. I'd rather have my 80% vs 20% in a relationship. People tend to forget that one person can't be EVERYTHING. Too much pressure.
I'm one of those. Can't lower my standards. I'd rathee be single
@@meln4214 It goes like this, the dream man > regular man > single . When the fun and games stops, when women are not attractive anymore and when shitty things happen ( poor health, loss of a dear one, rising costs ) you'd wish you'd have someone to help out.
@@sabincioflec8413 Yes but sometimes partners are the source of the heartache.
I know people who married husbands who ended up cheating, pedophiles and men who gave them (and possibly their kids) HIV or killed their children. It's not always fun and games.
@@meln4214 i love it how it's always black and white. It's either an amazing partner or an awful one but reality is that most people are in between. Try and live in reality, look at all the people you know and do a percentage of how many killed their children ir gave them HIV . These are exceptions, it's like saying you won't fly on an airplane because 2 crash each year. Anyway, i don't really care, you do you
Always love your videos! So insightful! Millennials, god help us
Actually you just pointed out that people are no longer rich enough to leave their parents house.
"Changing this order in which we do things isn't the issue here."
Yes it is.
I know it is hard to admit when your people has messed up their morals so much that you have to start from scratch, but it's less painful than having to live with the consequences.
I am a Gen Z and have never been or will be on dating apps. I have seen how it messes up the mental health of my friends. Nobody is honest about what they want & everyone's time is wasted.
Well edited video. Learned a few things, but the majority of the message was already understood.
A really important thing to remember is to never accept a “situationship” and be upfront about what you want (relationship, marriage etc). Hold off on sex insist on real Gen X/ Boomer style dates. If you still end up in a situationship with a player, cut them off. You have to be brutal. Try to stay off the apps, join hobbies to meet people. Don’t be obsessed with someone being your exact type, don’t have a checklist longer than your arm. I’m not saying get with a low value individual, just don’t discount people for not being what you consider perfect. Practice good self-care and improve your health. If you do all of these things, it will be much more likely you will find a partner, especially if you’re a woman. Signed married younger millennial.
i have those kinds of standards; unfortunately, that's why I've always been single. can't make it to a second date, when the guy is already demanding sex. at some point, you either give in to the culture or you accept that you'll be single and you'll have to figure out how to create a family in a nontraditional way, that's where I'm at. and I'm sick. of people saying just be patient and it'll happen. be patient for how long? 10 years? 20 years 30yrs? meanwhile, you lose your fertility.
@@jones2277 You’re right to not give in if a guy is demanding sex on a first or second date. That guy is not relationship or marriage material. I would advise not using the apps but if you do, I would say quickly discard and on to the next if he is giving f boy vibes. Men are a dime a dozen on there and there are always more to meet. If you’re meeting IRL through a group, hobby or out with friends, the guy will be less likely than an app guy to be so forward. Still keep those standards though, don’t give in to sleeping with them. I have a friend who has gone down the promiscuity path and now she’s stuck in situationships. It’s never worth it.
I was super direct with my husband and told him how it was going to be when it came to timing of sex or longterm goals. This was date one. If a guy is scared off then so be it, there are more where he came from and he wasn’t the one. I went on many bad dates when I was younger but don’t let that discourage you, keep at it. Definitely don’t waste time (mainly due to fertility), be assertive and date like you mean business. Keep those standards, keep pursuing a relationship and it will happen. If you want a family the non traditional way, then go for it. I wish you the best of luck! 🩷
@@Jenny-vm3yu been there, done that. sadly, that is the culture these days. even the "nice" ones are like that. once i accepted that marriage was not going to happen, my whole world opened up. i began to make solo plans. my life feels richer and i feel more in control of my destiny. it's very dangerous to encourage women to continue to swim with sharks without expecting to get bitten over and over. my advice, since we're in an advice-giving mood, is for young women who haven't met someone serious by 34, to start thinking seriously about their plan b. if it means they have to save money to preserve their fertility or start putting away money for a downpayment on a home, do it. and don't be bitter about it. just accept it as what it is and forget about what everyone else has to say because they will talk even though they haven't been in your shoes.
You're aiming too high! Try dating someone on your level@@jones2277
@@jones2277 by 34 it's no longer a "younger woman"
Also, that's a *terrible* age to freeze eggs
Don't stay in the casino too long, that's the only way to lose as a female
crazy how you did not mention hinge or is hinge not in the millennial mainstream yet? by far that app is donimating over tinder and bumble right now. i would love to see how hinge and their "designed to be deleted." mantra works in this and the data n such
Well it’s clearly not working since it’s so popular
Tinder and hinge are both owned by match group.
@@makeitrainnaren that explains it now
>downloads hinge
>first question: "how tall are you?"
>oh right that's why I'm single
>uninstalls hinge
@@cs8712 I’m sure most people can become attractive just by taking better care of themselves, if a guy has muscles a girl doesn’t care about height
lol I “dated” a girl I met on bumble for around 3 months, then out of nowhere she decided she do better. Hypergamy, grass is greener syndromes, illusion of choice all play a factor
Right? Lmao
This is why I don’t believe we’re monogamous. Women are always going to want the best man, just like men are going to want the most beautiful women.
@@ladybug3380 im lowkey confused by the wording of your comment but virgo gang nonetheless
I mean who said she isn’t doing better? And did she say it was only about money?
@@NoName-sp5dpshe’s still on dating apps so you tell me
It feels wrong bashing dating apps when I found my girlfriend through one, but I really had to game the system to do so, which isn't what people are supposed to, and I don't even know if it's possible to do anymore. We might need to collectively touch grass man.
@@irfuelnot sure what he means, but what you can do is make a new account when your profile gets the most likes and attention, get the premium version of the app to see what you’re working with and then cancel when you match with the good ones
@@irfuelprobably spent a lot of effort on getting the best pictures gymmaxing and being inactive or deleting account to get a free boost
@@irfuelYes please do share and give us tips. Not asking for a friend😂
Get off social media. Invest time in self improvement. Go do things in the real world that you actually enjoy. Be open minded, friendly, and slow down. You’ll naturally attract people who are doing the same. Enjoy their company and just see what happens. In about a year you’ll have plenty of high value options, if you want a relationship then it will happen, but stop chasing one. Be patient. No relationship is better than a string of bad ones.
Interesting info
I personally have a "I don't f*ck on a first meet" rule because I will literally lose all interest if I get sex immediately. No matter how much I like the person. No matter how much we've talked over the phone or on messenger. I also don't want to be pressured into sex if I'm just straight up not attracted to the person in person.
Don't know why I got recommended this video, but I'm really glad I listened to your analysis. I always tell people, including some of my fighter friends who have appeared on my channel, get off those freaking apps and focus on what you want to do. But I like how you've analyzed these societal problems from a "subscription service" view. After all, these apps that are in the business of wanting you to keep paying for them probably don't really want you to get hitched too easily, right? Anyways, keep up the good work.
Thanks for watching, Jerry! Glad the algorithm made the connection.
Your videos are so great.
Thank you 🫶🏽
- Caya
I think AI will make this worse.
I’m loving your videos. I definitely feel a correlation between income and sex. More than a year ago, I finally landed a job that pays decent. I was excited every day because I could finally pay down debt and save for my future & my nephew’s; however, my apartment was bought by investors whom asked me and roomie to vacate. Thankfully I found a great living situation that checked a lot of boxes for me, but it came with the price tag. The thing is, is that the rental market is unbelievably expensive in San Diego - more than ever - and now half of my take-home pay goes to rent. Ever since the move, I have been struggling to prevent depression, but it has led me to isolation and lack of drive to go out and be social. I think a lot of guys look to video games as a way to avoid spending money - especially with inflation being as high as it is right now.
Wrong, it was us who broke dating and then the tech just answered to our demands. It's not the other way round.
women ruined it because they have too many options
It's a symbiotic relationship. The demand was there, and apps helped make it worse.
Dating if not already is becoming a luxury especially for men.
8:25 What? I thought the whole point of a date was to get to know someone, so the date is just basically complementary?
This is not data, but the social expectations/requirements for an unattractive man can be very rude.
Also, you forgot to mention how the dating app system takes an unfair advantage over people's desires and needs, filling the apps with bots and constant promises of match only if you add to one of their delusional tiers. The video is well made but portrays those companies only like "the other way of dating", and then blaming gaming (I'm not a gamer) and other stuff.
Anyway, I'm glad you guys are back with essays like this one.
Thanks! Very curious about your note on 'back with essays like this one'. This is what we aim for with most videos- but maybe we're not being able to get them in front of you? Or did you feel other videos don't follow this approach?
- Caya
I think they mean that Tech Nomad stuff, I also have noticed that RUclips isn't recommending me your videos as much. @@slidebean
Nice video
there is so much happening in this video... overload for me but very good info
it got better as it went on.
Presenting Tinder success as a Sankey chart still won’t get a SOC Analyst laid 😂
Gathering rejection data must've been rough.
- Caya
We all aim to catch someone better than us, and there are few people who are perfect and a lot "non perfect" ones chasing those few. New dating "tools" make it possible to view the "ideal" at the grasp of your hand and then you give up all together because "love of your life" is a next door supermodel who asks, and does well to ask, for better than common mortal 😂.
Better than me?
TBH, I have no idea what you're even on about. You sound like you are talking about something completely different.
@@jibberism9910 Well if there is nobody better than you, maybe you are the one we are all chasing for 🤩
You can start off with some weed bro. Maybe some chocolates? @@mattbonanza9032
The whole push with getting stay-at-home moms out working was to double the taxable incomes. However, they failed to realize their plan causes late marriages and fewer children to be future workers to tax. From 5-10 kids per family to two, one, or zero. Now more older people than young people to fund things like Social Security/etc. While China did the one child policy, the US did this thing that lead to dating apps achieving a similar result.
Why would you orchestrate a whole societal shift to tax more incomes when you could just gradually rise tax on the one income to desired levels? The effect would be the same - more money in taxes, less kids in families.
That's not true. Women have always played a major role in the workforce, especially if they were poor. Poor people historically haven't had the luxury of only having a 1 income household. Still, having kids was beneficial because it means there's more hands to help pay the bills.
The whole idea that the wife stayed home while the man works is a relatively new and privileged concept invented after WWII. During the war, women took up jobs that men worked while the men were away at war. When the men came back, women decided that they didn't want to quit working. So, propaganda was rampped up of the happy family of a working dad, stay a home mom, boy, girl, and a dog in a house with the white picket fence in an attempt to convince women to quit the workforce. It was something that could really only be achieved by wealthy folks and veterans who were able to capitalize on the GI bill. And for a long time, men and businesses thought that this is what they wanted, until finally they realize that as you said, they could stand to profit from having women working some of the jobs that were once held exclusively by men, albeit on their terms. Poor women before and after the war typically did domestic work, farming, and factory work.
@@justAmood8. Yup. Poor women always worked outside the home till the mini-union boom era of post-WWII a.k.a the 50s. The difference is the change in mindset. Before the industrial Revolution, rich, elite women NOT working was a flex. They didn't get their hands cut on thorns, or by farm implements and their hands were smooth and soft from not having to labour. So poor women getting to work and expose themselves to unsavory conditions was deemed as the "oppressive" situation.
@@justAmood8Not only did poor women work but there was also children working in factories, agriculture, and mines in the 19th century US which is even worse.
@@Artist.359. funny you should mention that... You know what, I'll let the end of this decade surprise you lol
This is a very good video!
Thank you, good sir.
- Caya
I'm no longer using dating apps, or dating at all anymore. Good luck to the brave souls who still are.
Worried for my kids mostly and how they perceive relationships as a whole.
I didn't have relations until i was 20+ as i was basically looking for something serious (being brought up on values from heroic sagas and such) and didn't care for body count (being zero until i met my wife) But then, coming from friendship and common interest everything went well - with kids and 15 yrs of marriage. So, focusing on being friendly and being a soulmate before & above all. Basically, i never dated anyone in my life or been on a date.
Wondering if there could be apps that exploit some other brain functions just as strongly, but with a positive societal impact, leading to overall happiness.
I find your choose terrible, I hope you are well. These relationships like yours mostly don't end well at all.
@@MrOssyMoro Interested, why do you think so? Honestly. 15yrs of marriage, seems fine t me.
@@CannyValley-bi8nq If you didn't lost yourself but you are your true self, that's good 👍
I was walking today and watched a guy try to pick up a woman walking down the street. The whole thing just seemed cringeworthy. It is possible to meet people irl and I have done it before but let's be honest. The set of skills needed to pull something like that off makes it a high bar for entry.
She of course turned him down and he kept going and to be quite honest. Being rejected on a dating app just feels far less weird. People of earlier generations are used to the routine of approaching a million women at some singles event or club. But that's feeling more and more like something quaint from a bygone era. It's not exactly dead but it's not what it was and all of this metoo stuff didn't help matters either.
Yeah it doesn’t help that a woman can basically say anything and the court will believe it, it’s extremely rigged and not in the guy’s favor. That’s why a lot of guys just don’t ask women out irl anymore.
POUND me too.
Women are 304s.
but unfortunately i provides the HIGHEST rate of success because I'm ugly and I know. Since I started dating before social media it was the only way to approach women. I would constantly get rejected but have good memories though. all said honestly not worth it because I still became a passpor bro and lost money and time chasing women.
@@aim-for-greatn3z947 it’s better to do it in real life, all the women you’ll meet on dating apps are degenerate losers who don’t want anything serious. The best option you have is just to take the risk of rejection and just do it.
@@Azurethewolf168ya, that doesn’t happen 98% of the time
Well.
In order to mate one must 1st manage rent food and bills.
And that has become increasingly difficult for most people.
The only way is to flood the market with new homes and more food at the rate of FED flooding market with new notes..
Grew up Catholic too. What drove me away was the “leave it to God” mentality. Kind of preached just to let life happen, which i thought was ridiculous being the control freak I am.
I get that same excuse too, "it will happen". I hear it so many times I stop believing in it, like everyone is keeping a secret and refuse to tell me, how or why they know.
Well you can’t control everything in life, a lot of things are just beyond your grasp. So I’m guessing they meant like just leave the stuff that’s not in your control up to god.
@@LittleGoblinBastardgeneral life experience is how
@@Azurethewolf168You can’t control a lot of things. But there are also a lot of things you can control.
From my experience, many folks turn to religion for the wrong reason such as not knowing what they want out of life (hence the “leave it to God” mentality). The bible has a lot of great teachings. And it serves as a good compass to decide between right or wrong. It’s not, however, a replacement for learning what you as a member of society will contribute to help your fellow men and women make this world a better place.
@@Viviko it provides a guideline and purpose, but everything else is kind of up to you.
Dating apps need customers , everyone who finds love is no longer a customer
I think our generation has expectations that are unrealistic for everything.
What affected me is trying to be the perfect partner and find the perfect partner because I was afraid of heartbreak.
A game changer was focusing on values match and obviously being attracted. And that it might be messy but it’s still worth being open. And there are no guarantees either.
Interesting watch so far. First time I'm able to read all comments in one glance
OutStandIng! - Liked & Subscribed! 🇺🇲💥💯🎯💯💥🇺🇲
People only realise the value of freedom only after the relationship, try to protect it above anything else
Fascinating to see the legendary "Influence" book upside down in the background. Was this an artistic decision or set design flaw? 🤔
Nothing is an accident in our set. 🤓
- Caya
Aren’t people having parties anymore?! That’s how I used to meet almost everyone I dated. And it was effortless. Do these people in their twenties and thirties not go to parties? I don’t understand how people that age are going a year without sex.
😂😂… bro parties cost… you guest it…. money
They're going YEARS without sex
*WHEN* are you from?
I can't remember the last time I had sex. It's definitely been years.
@@alexdavila1356 born in 1979. Started going to parties in 1995. Parties happened all the time. When I had roommates, we constantly had parties without ever planning them. But everyone had parties. A band might be in town and stay over and everyone would come over after bar close. Or you and your friends would go to another city to see a band and stay at a friend’s house and that friend would take you to parties after the show. Back then everyone smoked inside. It was a different time. A guy would have to call the house and leave a message with your roommate or on an answering machine. Maybe it was easier for me because I’m female and was always pursued, but I don’t think it was that hard for people.
And nobody had much money. People who threw summer parties had more money and would barbecue and serve food. But, even if you were broke and had nothing at your house, people would just bring stuff.
I was thinking of kids in their twenties and wondering how they can be that age and not hooking up easily, but even now, people I know have plenty of parties, so I don’t know why kids aren’t or how they’re having such a hard time dating.
The last statement: millenials seem to want to solve our financial issues and our mental issues before going on dates is so true. I feel like i constantly need to be better than who i am to go on a date or have someone be interested in me. Its a pretty big wake up call
I dodged the hook-up culture by a few years. And could not be more grateful. Found a wife and been married for over 10 years. Anecdotally, i think i have more and better sex than my pears who try to date and or live in a hook-up culture. Average 2-3 times a week, Basically always when i want. And the thing is, its always with a person i love, trust and who knows what i like. I cant imagine the novelty of doing it with a new person each time would be better. Its also not only about sex, she is also my best friend with whom i can build a pretty awsome life. Anecdotally, again, iv noticed that ppl who do hook-ups and short relationships become worse at long term relationships. And it makes sense. Welp, happy hunting... God is the ultimate matchmaker 🕊️
Hypergamy is a hell of a thing.
Lol that is not the topic at hand...
What's hypergamy got to do with dating apps?
@@danculbert6349 Coz what type of job/education you put in your bio will affect your matching probabilities and dates coming out of those mathes. When you meet women in real life - your charm and personality have more saying, but online - optics are HUGE part of it. How you look, what you work, ect. Also Known as "Looking good on paper".
@@jonjeskie5234 If you think hypergamy don't affect online dating - you haven't pay attention. And in the video is said that paying more for a date is strong indicator if there is gonna be a second date. Thats hypergamy in action.
Hypergamy has always been real, how else do you explain a dowry? 😂
We SHOULD go back to traditional marriage and have the males pay a huge dowry for the privilege of having a wife that cleans their dirty ass underwear. 😂😂😂😂😂
You’ll see hypergamy in real time after you’ve paid 100k and a mule for the privilege of financially providing for your wife. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Marriage is not about happiness. I've been married for 10 years.
What is it about?
@@Ricocase children
Yeah bro changing the order of things was the whole problem.... Now you're involved and consumed by a person before you know if you even like them.
Im curious how you curate your music, any keywords or tips? Please
Great question. We mostly play it by ear. The composer (Tom Fox) has an insane, well classified library.
Caya
Along with dating apps intentionally making it harder for people to actually connect, the level of mental health issues and unprocessed childhood trauma now has made a lot of people unable to date.
It completely completely ruined everything
The book The Dating App Confessions by Logan Tindell has some funny stories about the apps.
My sister was born with quite severe mental disabilities and my mother died from a brutal fight with cancer when I was 13. I knew since from when I was young that love, relationships, marriage, and children were not for me. Also, being gay doesn't make the prospect of such any easier. Throw in the apps and culture surrounding them, and yeah, screw it all! I've been single for over a decade, and I'm fine with it.
Curiously, why does your murder dying when you were young and your sister having been born with a disability, contribute to you not wanting to be in a relationship? Is it because you worry that you may pass on these genetic predispositions?
This video just made me really depressed and hopeless thanks
Why not charge more in subscription for a shorter customer lifetime? A player that does this simple thing may disrupt the market.
LTV is in dollars not in time per se.
Thought provoking.
Regarding spending money, a walk in the park can be done with 5 girls in one day. Of course someone would be more impressed with a dinner. I think guys should use more discernment when choosing a girl to date
Funny that you'd talk about slutting with 5 girls in one day and then say guys should be choosier. Anyone who does multiple dates in one day is trash by the way. People aren't commodities.
So you not only called me broke, you called me lonely.
a tinder subscription and a Adobe subscription work out the same per month for me.
a moment of silence for dating. rip
I will never do dating apps ever again, it’s been a couple of years for me and it’s the best decision I ever made! Just that repeated never ending cycle is so mentally draining! Not judgement to anyone who uses them though, just be very careful! (:
What you said is sad but true. Old generation known that building a family need sacrifices and there is lots of give and take which the new generations fails to understand. Tinder is just a tool that let people to find sexx thing and fail miserably in promoting formation of family. This keep tinder going and benefited people behind tinder.
They're all sick in the head. The dudes too. Just read some of the comments.
They're all damaged to the point of a narcissistic view of the world, themselves and others.
They will never know love, let alone self-love.
And they will never, ever consider that to be true.
It clearly is. A lost generation.
I see no point in engaging in the modern dating game ngl
While I mostly agree I would say one thing is different from my observation, social media are also to blame, people think that this is standard life(while it is not) so they tend to try partner to live up to it(grass is always greener etc) so there is also no real stability in relationship. Men playing video games is probably more of a effect, not cause. When you can't live up to today high standards why bother when you can at least let yourself destress other way? I would argue that if not games, there would be another most common today afterwork activity.
I gave up on dating 8 years ago. I found the apps really annoying and it’s impossible to meet someone in person when you don’t like to drink and pretty much never leave your house and since Covid I’ve left it less and less. I think relationships are too focused on sex as well and I realized after finding out about this term that I am asexual. Finding another asexual person is like finding a needle in a hay stack and being in a relationship with someone who isn’t is challenging because you feel all of this pressure to have sex and I just don’t enjoy it. I know someone is going to read this and say well then you just haven’t had the right partner but please look up the definition of asexual because seriously it doesn’t matter who the partner is. I was miserable in relationships. And I think a lot of this was because I lost my virginity to rape so it made sex unenjoyable for me. Maybe if that never happened I would feel differently but who knows. Anyways I find great comfort in knowing I will never date again. I am so happy with myself and my life that I don’t see the need to be in a relationship to be happy. Frankly I find relationships annoying and stressful. Someone is always going to make you unhappy and feel worse about yourself and all relationships end whether you break up or they die so what’s the point? I do wish we could all go back in time and enjoy dating the way it used to be. I feel like that was so much more respectful.
I know guys are horn dogs but come on SEX ISNT EVERYTHING. One day you guys will gain weight, boobs will sag, you won’t be attractive anymore and the sex will die down. What are you going to do if you have literally nothing in common because you only ever focused on sex and now you are stuck with someone who you can’t talk to and don’t enjoy being around? And dating when you are 50 + because you decided to divorce that person is going to be so much worse. You.p can’t get an attractive 20 yr old to marry you unless you are rich
You should talk to your doctor about it, a lot of "asexual" people actually just have a medical issue, whether to treat it is your choice
@@My_Old_YT_Account could be related to my thyroid but if I’m being honest I have no interest in changing that aspect of my life. I’m very happy as I am
I haven't dated in 4 years and I am a horndog. It's just literally not worth it anymore. Asexual or not, we end up in the same place if what we want is simple enjoyable company. I'm waiting for a single human being that is capable of having a fun goddamned conversation, and you would not believe how high a bar that really is.
@@cogd1599 trying to get anyone to have a meaningful uninterupted conversation is hard. I can't even convince my mom to talk to me for 5 minutes without her looking at her phone and getting distracted. It makes me feel like there is no point in even trying to have a connection with someone because all i am doing is wasting my time and repeating myself over and over until they finally listen. So I completely understand how challenging it can be to find someone whose company you enjoy, who connects with you on a deeper level, and actively engages in conversation. I hope you find someone that meets your needs. No one should have to compromise their standards especially if its as simple as that. I wish people were not so fixated on their tech and would take some time to get outside and actually enjoy their life. Its really sad to see the deteroration of human connection and well being. Thankfully I thrive alone and have my entire life because I learned early on that you cant depend on other people for your happiness. But for those who want human connection its a challenge to find something truly meaningful.
Bring on the CMEs
Having no love or sex means I don't feel compelled to contribute anything of value to society. Why would I give a profit to society while it gives to others but not to me?
Fair enough.
But try not to throw the baby out with the water and keep looking out for number one. Things sometimes change unexpectedly, better to be viable when fates shift.
And they can. In both ways.
I always thought of the upper and lower classes having lots of free time for activities, there's a reason why lower income households have more kids. Sex is opera for the poor.
Hmm… maybe it’s the people in the middle trying to not fall down the ladder and trying to claw up that have the least time.
I see mostly middle income families getting kids. The poor stay single or don’t procreate. Also some research show that now mostly rich families have a lot of kids. This is not something I observed but what statistics say
Sex is sex, relationship is a partnership. Sex interview is something that gay population is practicing for almost 20 years. It is effective but does not increase chance of partnership. I gave up sex interview practice but instead go with this...Let's meet in person, let's walk and talk a bit, if we click we can have sex another day. All this without spending 60 dollars on a date. Heterosexual people like money more than love so that's why the expensive dinner as an interview for an eligible marriage candidate 😂
Online "dating" is a mirage. Go to a bar, have a drink, talk to people. It's more fun and it's cheaper.
"Dating app penetration" perfect graphic to describe the issue.
I've definitely seen a post pandemic boom in relationships in marriages and maybe we'll start to see some reversal in the trend. Seems like a lot of older gen Z's are getting married or are in serious relationships, im 25 and I'm basically the only single person I know, I go to house parties and there wont be one single girl. So maybe the relationship recession is coming to an end.
That's just anecdotal confirmation bias. I've seen the exact opposite, fewer people are in relationships or want to be in one post pandemic. And that's also what I've heard from friends in various cities. I think there may be actual data on this but not sure.
What about millenials ? I see it a lot in Gen Z's too, but there are single millenials out there as well...
Dating apps were a nuclear bomb, and now we're living in the Mad Max aftermath.
Dating app subscriptions are on the chopping block, along with a bunch of other luxury expenses.
I met my wife on a dating app tho
Survivorship bias
exceptions... I know I'm not alone in not getting any dates through apps. I know some men are successful, most aren't.
Sounds like the government may need to intervene and ban dating apps.
Sure, because the government always fixes things when it intervenes.
@@genericdeveloper3966 well frustrated men that haven't dated or seeking to date, if that trend continues I think I know what happens.
@@genericdeveloper3966I mean the alternative is a declining birth rate which is objectively bad for society. Good luck maintaining a social safety net when then young of the new generation are always a smaller group then the older generation. Any kind of social security isn’t sustainable in that.
Not ban them, but use regulations to prevent them from defrauding us 😊
@@emanymdefine defraud…beyond the bots and OF creators that populate, what can the gov do if you get no matches tho?
This is solve with paying prosti rather than getting involved with narcissistic women
Another factor not mentioned is the fact that 2/3 of young women are in a relationship where only 1/3 of young men are. Rates of sexuality for women overall are also significantly higher.
We are all lonely but for different reasons. Men are lonely because we are rejected and dumped at higher rates than ever and internalize that rejection. Women are lonely because they can’t lock down a long term relationship and end up basically used as sex toys. The only real winners in this situation are the tiny percentage of rich attractive men who, if they are smart about it, can have enormous amounts of consequence free sex and then choose to settle down whenever they want.
If ppl have s8ex in the beginning I can assure you , many men will still not be picked. Especially if it’s about that because it’s about attraction. I can say wholeheartedly it’s not just about this , it’s ppl upbringing , lack of good teachings , self reflection , goal oriented etc. fiancés is one thing but there’s ppl who have fiancés who still can’t find someone. A lot of it is character , combined with finances. U have to work with the reality now. A lot of men do not want to household husbands , taking care of elf kids , housework , etc even if they say they do if she makes less money or gets hurt is he gain to go back into the workforce etc. Some men do very lil of the househusband work and the woman still has to carry the blunt. So , no, women are tired of pulling of blunt of men. Fiancés is not enough. Plus there not really places to meet ppl. And , ppl just want to be attracted to a man. They don’t care to have a man there not a ttacted to , it’s not shallow. Men get with women they aren’t that attracted to all the time. Then , if they get money they get someone attactive if they can. I feel what’s the point of having a man ur not an attracted to it’s not worth in in the end. Plus , those men to be honest tend to be pushovers , and have self confidence issues etc. And no I’m in a long term relationship almost ten years o.oby the way XD
I tried this dating apps and it's not for me. Most i encounter are creeps and guys who just want sex only. Plus hearing horror stories about dating apps can be scary but it's all about risk.
It’s hard to believe that I could go straight to sex off a dating app. I’ve done it before but I’m scared to ask for that directly. At this point I’m willing to continue deleting my dating app accounts until I achieve happiness. I’d rather just live my life and pray to God for a woman if that’s what it takes.
Dank
seriously Flea Bag for ref image ? lol