Non binary dysphoria explained
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- Опубликовано: 31 июл 2016
- As someone who experiences non binary dysphoria, I decided to answer some questions that I regularly get. Some non binary people do experience dysphoria, and some don't.
In this video I talk about whether or not I bind my chest, and how I feel about my period. In a video coming soon I will address questions about decided to/not to transition.
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baggy t-shirts: **exist**
people with top dysphoria: HELL YEAH
Oml Ikr but I like baggy hoodies more ;w;
snøw tea any kind of baggy top is my best friend
its not a phase mom yep 👌
I wear baggy hoodies and baggy shirts lol
Also having your shoulders as far forward as possible lmao
Dysphoria:
"You're gonna look like a girl in that"
"You're gonna look like a boy in that"
Me:
* visable confusion *
MEEEE HAHHHA
Exactly
I haven't seen anything more relatable in my life.
ME KWJDJDJHSHE HAHA
This 😪
My dysphoria:
"Hey, your not actually non binary."
"You should've never come out."
Also my dysphoria:
"Hey, you might be a dude."
me: *please take your time.*
Wait I’m not the only one?
Same
actually me
Frr
wait omg that's me
when I first watched this a couple of months ago I was like "...but doesn't everyone feel that way." you'd think I would have caught on lmao
me asking that same question rn
Right
@@Holz-nu4qt these kind of feelings can come from multiple reasons, yes. the trick of it (and it's not easy) is discerning /why/ you feel a certain way. for example, discomfort with the chest can come from being sexualised, physical discomfort (not just "size" - sensory processing issues as well), being forced into a gender role, body image issues (including ED and dysmorphia), or gender. if you think it's related to gender you can experiment with clothing, see how it makes you feel. try not to stress it and just follow what feels good instead of fixating on what doesn't.
@@uhnyluh i posted a comment just now to the same effect. are there women out there who actually enjoy having periods? i'm pretty sure that's not a thing.
@@HelenofDestroy thats what im thinking, like i have chest dysphoria and im pretty sure women don't really feel like straight up getting rid of their breasts like i desperately want to do, but isn't hating periods (not the feeling like they don't belong to your body/feeling separated from it over them, i doubt women feel like that) just a universal thing women do? unless ur periods are relatively chill and don't give you much trouble i cant imagine not minding monthly bleeding
I needed this. This explains exactly how I feel about my breasts, and my body shape. I have curves and large hips. It sometimes makes me very upset. Other days, I can deal with my breasts. It depends on the day.
Emily Lanier maybe it id called bipolar disorder
Emily Lanier You just need Jesus, do not change your body. Jesus loves you, the enemy wants you to ruin your body and when you realize it is going to be too late to reverse back.
OH MY GOD. This is literally my exact situation. I’d try my best to bind and wear masculine-shaped clothing to conceal them but I don’t have a binder and it doesn’t work very well. I do however have a trusty tight sports bra which successfully gets me down to an A+ :) My dysphoria fluctuates a little too. A few days I’m okay with them but for most others I want them gone. And honestly, the most infuriating thing about being nonbinary is that there’s no actual method to use to develop an androgynous body except to go on very low doses of T if you’re AFAB or very low doses of E if you’re AMAB.
Alx Yeah, I was thinking about that.
@@kissmeinass1071 I- you do realize that bipolar.. Is about.. Mood swings.. Not gender dysphoria..
I tell my mom how I feel about my period and she's like "You're going to have to deal with it for the rest of your life." And I just-
samee
Same
That sucks! Some parents just don't know how to validate emotions.
same damn, its awful
Get an iud if you can! Hormonal iuds stop your periods ;D
I'm a cisgenger woman, and when I was questioning my gender identity I identified as nonbinary. Although I was nonbinary I still identified with "she" pronouns. Any other pronouns felt odd to me. It was later that I realized I experienced gender disphoria only when others would apply gender roles to me, sexualize me, or just be sexist/condescending to me. Then I was all like, "... FUCK" cus I realized I didn't want to identify as a woman because I didn't want to be treated the way society treats women.From then 'till now I can proudly call my gender identity my own. I never disliked my femininity. I was scared to show it because of the way others would react, BUT... now I be like, "Dis is who I am and I will define femininity for myself, thank you!" So now it's a huge weight off my shoulders to be comfortable with my own identity, defined by me. So I continue to not shave my armpits, burp loudly, and maintain my femininity/humanity at the same time :)
Tara misu I've had a few friends come to the same conclusion, and your point definitely is one that should be discussed - when I came out to my mom as nonbinary years ago she told me something very similar, but she also tacked on that I'd feel differently when I was older, but I haven't. Being a woman who does not want to be a woman bc of what society has decided they are is very different from having dysphoria and being trans 💖💖
Non conforming ? (:
Unfortunately most people now think this and end up believing they're some third gender now instead.
Good for you that you found where you belonged in the end! That's my goal to be honest, to finally find myself like you did and be comfortable. I'm growing everyday and I feel very comfortable being non binary. I dislike being called by female pronouns, looking female and most importantly, seeing myself female. Same with male. It's just not right for me. I'm very sure I have reached my goal and I will take on the enbyphobia, because it's worth it if I get to be and feel like myself in the end.
Tara misu thank you for sharing!💞
SOMEONE ELSE FEELS THIS WHILE BEING NONBINARY TOO! HALLELUJAH
OH MY GOD YES! MY ACTUAL EXACT THOUGHTS
I do
Precisely. I identify as non-binary as well and it was especially relatable when Ash was talking about the period issue. When I get my period, I’m constantly reminded that it’s a “female” issue by my brain and it’s really triggering. It’s the worst during the middle few nights when I really, really hope that either my womb gets removed or I can turn into a man overnight and never have to deal with periods again. It may seem like thoughts on a whim but even after my period, I’m still uncomfortable with my feminine traits and I’d still willingly get my womb removed if I could.
Franco Cavalli but they way your brain thinks comes under the term of “facts” yes they may biologically but that is their SEX not gender and some do go for a complete sex change so yeah
OMG SAME I WATCHED THIS AND IM ACTUALLY FINALLY NOT ALONE FOR ONCE!!!!
I've been questioning with my eye on "gender fluid" for a some time now, because I'll go through lengths of time with similar dysphoria, but then lengths at a time comfortable with a feminine perceived body. As a constant, I desire a more androgynous expression or moreso an androgynous body shape/aesthetic, if people use the word "feminine" to describe me, I often internally get upset, but have difficulty pin pointing if that is dysphoria or if it might be some kind of internalized misogyny. However sometimes, if femininity is the intent of my expression, I'll be fine. Does that make sense? I'm lost myself, trying to navigate through everything.
I'm experiencing the same thing, but I don't really know how to wrap my head around it. I'll have periods of time where i'm very comfortable with expressing my feminine identity, but also times where I wish i could present in a more masculine way. I also feel dysphoric about my chest and my hips, even though my period is when I experience dysphoria the most. Anyway, if you ever feel the need to talk about it, maybe we could have a discussion!
Hope you had a lovely day xx
Valeria Ferri Thanks! Same! I made note of that in my gender tag last year, that my breasts, hips, and bottom, were things I always wanted to hide or make smaller.
But it can be so complex as to why, just like I considered whether being upset at being called" feminine" might have to do with gender identity or internalized misogyny, I also examine whether the sexualization of those particular body parts I mentioned, and how it can be borderline triggering when someone comments on my "big booty", I wonder if it's really trauma from past sex violence that forms my feelings on my body (but then who's to say gender expression and fluid gender identity can't help us heal, as well).
I'm exactly the same, and I identify as genderfluid. In general my default is androgynous, leaning towards masc. but I have periods where I feel very feminine etc. I definitely get dysphoric about it too. You're not alone.
I thought I was alone but omg I feel the exact same way
that sounds so like me!
I feel the same way about my chest.. like it's fine when I'm naked but if I'm not wearing a sports bra under clothing it's super uncomfortable and doesn't feel like part of my body. So now I only wear sports bras and feel way more comfortable, but also I find myself turning to the side and fixating on my chest in the mirror to make sure it's flat enough.
kas I do the same thing
kas I feel the same way xx
Totally doing the same.
kas I am the exact same way! Except I hate being completely naked, I feel super uncomfortable about my body and with sports bras my chest feels flatter and it makes me feel better.
Same here. I’ve got a favorite sports bra that is small and compressing and it works well, not perfectly, but still well enough to keep my chest relatively flat. I’m a B so it’s slightly harder to conceal and I can’t buy any binders at the moment because I’m 16 and don’t have a credit card. I identify as non-binary as well btw.
I'm in shock. I never felt like I belonged in either community and you put words to exactly why I am uncomfortable at times with my body
My dysphoria is exactly the same! This video was like watching my inner self speaking. When I get my period, I often find myself upset because it gets in the way of me being my authentic self. Its a constant reminder that I was born female, and I wish it would stop. I'm also lucky and I do not have to bind. Sports bras do the job fine for me.
Sues BookNook Same here. When I get my period I always feel that it’s not just troublesome and painful, but also terrible because I’m constantly reminded that it’s a “female” thing, and it increases my dysphoria. I actually wouldn’t mind losing my whole womb and ovaries, don’t need them anyway. (I’m gay, referring to the umbrella term)
Alx Thats like when you’re 48 lmao
And there’s other health risks that come with it too
Same
I don't want to be female goddamnit let me just cut off these damn sacks of flesh on my chest and get rid of my uterus permanently. But then i also don't wanna be a guy ajdgskdjsb I'm so fucking confused
@@soso3792 literally my same case I hate my period it makes me feel unwelcome in my own body and I feel trapped and I’m gay non binary
And I hate kids so thanks a lot earth
To answer the question:
I feel dysphoria towards masculine parts of my body such as my facial and body hair, my bulge, my body height and proportions. I feel like if someone sees them they stop seeing me as a person and only as a "man". Fully identifying with neither men* or women* makes me feel alone.
Thinking about this I made an attempt to analyse how gender dysphoria connects to my life experience with gender and sexuality. So here's my life story if anyone's interested lol:
I grew up believing that because I was assigned male, I have to force myself to meet the standards set by toxic masculinity. That caused a lot of suffering. I created a habit of suppressing my emotions, causing me to have difficulties dealing with depression later on. I suppressed any homosexual thoughts, convincing myself that I was straight. The "we and them" attitude towards women* made me misogynistic, causing women* to suffer. I never liked this masculine version/representation of myself, but I thought that I don't have a choice.
When I was 19, I met my best friend who is a feminist. She took the time to discuss feminist values with me, which helped me develop a much more open and flexible mindset.
When I was 20, I decided to explore my sexuality. It wasn't easy because of all the internalised homophobia, but it was worth it. I learned that I am pansexual and discovered many other things. I noticed that had a lot of internalized kink-shaming, which I'm still working to release. The BDSM community helps a lot with that, but that's a whole other topic.
Now that I'm 21, I started to explore my gender. I first started cross-dressing because I believed that if I present more feminine, I can feel more beautiful. It probably has to do with homophobia, which ingrained in me that men can never be sexy/attractive. I'm confused about why I have this belief and try to accept my body as it is, even the parts that are masculine. Later on I paid some attention to my behaviour. I noticed that I have days where I act, speak, move and feel more feminine or masculine. That is the deciding factor why I identify as gender-fluid.
Having a non-binary identity is not always easy. I often feel that I don't belong, which is why my next step is to get in touch with the local trans community. Exploring gender and sexuality brought feelings of shame, dysphoria and phobia to surface but it is good because only this way I can work on processing and releasing them. I already feel that I live a lot more true to myself with this new way of life (hence the name ;) ).
The fact that gender is becoming more mainstream makes me happy. Singular "they" was the word of the year for many dictionaries in 2019 and I see a lot more change in real life, such as gender-neutral bathrooms in universities and clubs. I hope that this helps more people to live freely as themselves. I dream of a society where people are seen as individuals.
Nova Flux really thank you for this comment i feel mostly the same and it helped me
hey that's a great comment thanks for sharing :)
Omg, i feel just the same way as you do !!
I share the feeling, thank you for posting!
I love your profile name btw
I'm agender and I experience a lot of top dysphoria! It just feels like it's not apart of me, and like my real chest is underneath, and what I see is wrong. I don't hate my chest, I just feel like it's not my chest, and I want desperately to remove it. As far as bottom dysphoria I have none unless its feminized. I don't have any desire to have anything else, and I actually feel dysphoric thinking of myself with a penis, but I often disconnect when what I have is referred to as "female genitalia" or something girls deal with. Like I feel comfortable with my genitals only when I think of them as genderless, mine, and separate from societies views.
I feel the same way! Also, agender squad unite!
I agree with you so much! I always have to look away from the mirror before I have a shower because looking at my chest makes me feel uncomfortable (the same happens when I'm changing clothes). Also, yay for agender!
I'm in the same boat as you Airoh. I'm also agender(but also demigirl) and have such chest dysphoria that I wish to have top surgery someday. In the meantime, I bind daily, and probably for a little longer time in the day than I should, but dysphoria.... >
I feel almost the same
I hate my hips too
I'm questioning my gender at the moment and its pretty scary actually. I know I'm not wholly comfy with the gender i was assigned at birth but im scared that i wont feel this way in a few years and im just making this more than it is in my head but what you said really resonated with me, especially about the flat chest and not removing and about feeling distanced from the period
theres no real advantage to changing gender if it doesn't make you happy so ask yourself will these decisions help me achieve life long goals and happiness
I hope you got out of the cult
“I don’t have to bind my chest”
Lucky, I’m 12, with a b cup already, still growing, sports bras are not cutting it, trying to find tighter ones. Also periods, it’s blood coming out of my vagina involuntarily, why do some people like being female? I can’t understand it but I am jealous.
Try binders if you can because you can get hurt puting thight things on your chest, also be careful were you get the binders from because it can be dangerous to.
It's a little confusing at the beginning but it's about experimenting
Bro I'm a DD and I'm 14 T_T. My sister is an F, and I'm probably going to be that when I'm her age. T_T.
Most women don't like their period either. It is physically uncomfortable, inconvenient, and the intense emotions are no joke.
I'm FtM, and my dysphoria is different for different parts of my body. For my chest, it's like it's not supposed to be there. Sometimes when I see my chest after not thinking about it for a while, I'm genuinely surprised, because it's so foreign to me. It makes it so that I don't recognize my body. When it comes to my period, I don't really want to get out of bed. I have no motivation to start the day, because it drains me so much emotionally. I can't wait to get home everyday and do nothing when I'm on my period. Then there's stuff like voice dysphoria, where I try so hard to make it lower that I hurt my throat. Sometimes I'll forget that I'm lowering my voice, and it'll get really high all of the sudden and it's super embarrassing. It's like I'll get so far, and my voice will be so deep, and then I have to stop. It almost feels like you're running a marathon, and once you can see the finish line, someone comes and pushes you back 10 miles.
How old are you?
oldskoolmacboy Why?
It has an impact on why you are feeling the way you do.
oldskoolmacboy I'm 13. If you're here to tell me that this is going to go away bc I'm young and confused, it's not going to work.
No, but you have to recognise that your body is going through major changes. I went through a lot of changes very quickly about the age of 8 or 9 (very young). I remember a feeling of almost disgust at my own body. Eventually I accepted my adult body, what your going through is very, very common.
Gender noncompliance is a struggle many people of all different types have known through most traces of human civilizations. It isn't new. It isn't strange. It's not a mental illness. To the extent that dysphoria is a part of it, it is a treatable situation: sometimes medically, sometimes surgically, sometimes just behaviorally. These days there is a more socially embracing atmosphere in which to express it and learn about people's real challenges, experiences. I applaud that.
I like the way you speak about this complex situation with clarity and ownership. Thanks for this video, and the courage it took to make it.
Honestly my period just makes me cry.
It just reminds me that I was born something that I don't feel like.
I cry bc of the increased hormones, dysphoria, and knowing that my family doesn't think nonbinary exists, and that's "it's not the right thing for me". And that 'i can't be nonbinary bc I'm AFAB'.
My experience with dysphoria has changed through the years so much that I almost feel like a different person than I was 10 years ago, when I first came out and started transitioning. I've always felt genderqueer even before I had a label for it. But I believed back then that if I wanted to be taken seriously as a transgender masculine-leaning person, I had to go ALL OUT and be 1000 percent masculine! I made myself suffer a lot because I'd reject femininity in any form just so that I could establish myself firmly in one way. I was afraid. I felt like everything was a contest with other ftm friends on who could be the "most masculine". And then, due to many circumstances, transitioning got put on hold. I went "back" to living in society as a woman even though I personally still felt the same as always. My dysphoria lessened for a while but would come bubbling up occasionally. It got stronger and stronger until about a year ago I couldn't hide it anymore. I started the medical process of transitioning again, but this time it's so different. I embrace myself as genderqueer transmasc person. I am living socially as a guy, but this time I haven't thrown away all my feminine clothes nor will I try so hard to change my mannerisms. I'm just ME. And I've kept my hair really, really long. People are all over the place with pronouns and it's hard sometimes, but I feel it's more important for my own mind/body integrity to not give in to societal expectations, and make myself happy instead!
that's so nice!! keep being yourself!
Gavin Smith This is really reassuring to hear - I'm currently going thru the same thing
I think what many people forget that each of the two genders also includes elements of the other so even in hyper-masculine men, there is an element of compassion and vulnerability - and vice versa in women. We look back at our grandparents and parents generations (I'm 62, a gay man, with kids and grand kids) and wonder at the strength of our mothers and the apparent lack of empathy in our fathers. Men were always encouraged to put on a brave face and 'deal with it' but men can be masculine and still have a softer side - especially where their children are concerned. Mums seemed to roll up their sleeves and had no time for nonsense, keeping the heart and home together, maintaining family ties and rituals.
The point is that ignoring these inherent traits leads to the kind of imbalance you describe in rejecting all forms of femininity, it just doesn't work if you force yourself into an imbalance that is wrong for YOU. While certain conventions have been established in society, where those conventions are forced in one direction or another, there you will find unhappiness and even violence.
danm....i wish i still had my really long hair....but im pre anything... and people messing up my pronouns hurts alot
I am a cisgender female and so I don't know if you can call this dysphoria, but I have a hormonal condition which means I have some male pattern hair growth. That makes me feel awful about myself and I feel like I'm "not a proper woman" and unfeminine and ugly because of it. So I understand how gender is a really important part of our identities which many cisgender people have the privilege of not having to think about often. But when there is a mismatch it feels so personal and difficult to handle
definitely dysphoria! dysphoria is actually a broader word for many things, when trans people use the term they're abbreviating "gender dysphoria". Cis women can and often do feel body dysphoria.
Yea that’s dysphoria bc you’re comfortable being a woman so things that typically only affect a biological male should/would bother you
A M. Not necessarily. Men grow hair in places that females will have little to none. (Back, face, chest etc) so a woman very comfortable with being a woman would find those things uncomfortable
A M. Obviously yes that’s a thing. Yes everyone has body hair. But she described she has “male pattern body hair” which in my interpretation that means that she’s growing more hair in places that a typical biological female wouldn’t. Lots of hair on your face back and chest is not a component of a typical female. Yes obviously there are cases of females that don’t fit into that and some of them learn to embrace that (like the people you mention) and there are some that become highly uncomfortable/dysphoric about that. That’s not necessarily a societal expectation bc biologically women just don’t have hair in certain places. HOWEVER the idea that females have to shave their legs where as men don’t IS a societal expectation bc both genders can grow a considerable amount of leg hair(with variations of course) So my point is you can’t view both situations under the same light bc some hair biologically doesn’t normally grow on a female in the same way as a male
A M. Again, armpits/legs etc are places where both genders grow very visible/longer hair. I’m very well aware that everyone has at least a little bit of hair everywhere on their body. But it is a biological fact that the average man (keyword here is average so we’re not counting men that don’t produce enough testosterone to grow hair in those places) will grow darker, thicker and therefore more visible facial(etc) hair than a woman. There’s nothing society can do about that. Like I said the societal expectation is when society ~expects~ women to shave leg/armpit hair when men don’t have to(because both genders grow it visibly enough). To put it in better perspective: facial hair is considered a secondary sex characteristic of a male, not a female. Leg/arm(pit) hair is not a secondary sex characteristic. That’s why one isn’t a societal expectation.
My dysphoria centers around my breasts I want them gone or at least smaller I'm non-binary but it's my breast that always get me so I bind cuz I'm a double D and I have to feel comfortable when my dysphoria is extremely high but I have back problems so I can't bind every day so FML
Lance Boyle what a horrible thing to say. It’s not your choice to make that for them or to even tell them that. Their body doesn’t belong to any man in any form or way. It’s theirs. Get your head out of your ass, dipshit.
Lance Boyle Just because someone has big breasts, it doesn’t mean that they HAVE to let men play with them. If their breasts make them uncomfortable and they want them removed or binded away, well, they can! After all, it’s their body and their choice.
Same!!! I feel exactly the same I HATE wearing bras and I always have. But because I hate bras so much I wouldn’t be able to cope with a binder bc it’s too tight so I guess I’m stuck with them😅
Oh i feel that. I have a c-cup. And I wanna get rid of my breasts so bad...
Same. I don’t have a binder tho and really want one.
As a cis-gender who's just educating herself on the topic, I don't want to claim that I understand how you feel. Still, I can kind of relate to what you said about periods, although my thorough dislike of them probably has a different underlying reason: it feels like my body is attacking itself. Since I do not want kids, why should I go throught this? The solution for me is the hormonal IUD (brand name Mirena). Though your mileage may vary (some other people hated it) for me it stopped the periods completely and I think it also keeps the mood swings down considerably. I get the impression that not many people know about it, so I just thought I'd share it here.
Thanks for being a great ally! I looked into an IUD but it sounds too painful for me to want to go through with it right now, but I'm on birth control pills that I take back-to-back so I only (theoretically) have three periods a year. It's not working too well, but it's giving me a sense of control over it and making it lighter and more manageable, so that's helped a lot.
I don't think many people LIKE having periods. I wonder if that gives other DFAB people trouble figuring out they're having dysphoria? I know I'm still struggling with a lot of issues relating to both periods and social misogyny; "is this dysphoria or is it just a way being female sucks that cis women don't like either?"
As a CIS women who hates menstruating, I use the term penis envy. I'm not dysphoric, I just really wish I didn't menstruate or have to drink so much damn water to keep a healthy ecosystem down under
You describe perfectly the physiological versus the psychological that gives rise to the dysphoria many people suffer. Your body did not know that your mind decided that you didn't want children and so kept doing what it was programmed to do. You sought an intervention and have adapted, well done.
A M.
The thing is that we don't. We don't simply stop eating or pooping or anything because they're inconvenient. Because we can't live without those. But we CAN live without periods. Periods are the bane of existence for AFAB people who are trans/nonbinary/agender/genderfluid/etc. It's like binding. Sure, it comes with dangers, and it can be painful, but that's a small price to pay for none or just less dysphoria. If you don't want to get an IUD, don't get one. But don't scare other people away, because there are upsides to it just as there are downsides.
I hate labels in general
I accept myself and no one else has to
IDC who calls me he or she
I see myself as just Autumn and that's all that matters to me
And it's took awhile for me to get to that point
I use to be so tied up in how everyone else saw me and that's just to stressful for me
I got tired of it
I'm questioning if I'm NB... Help
Me too. I'm so confused.
What's your experience with gender?
Jennifer Lynn idk... I can’t really tell if I’m experiencing dysphoria or not
Saying I’m non-binary feel like it describes me but I still question it.
Yeah I'm very confused because I feel like I'm faking it
I'm literally so confused about my gender thing, i don't think that 'non binary' fits me me either🤡
You don’t need a label!! Just take your time
At 1:38 I felt what you were saying so much I started crying. I've been experiencing this since 4th grade. Hoodies to make my breasts nonexistent without actually knowing that's what I wanted to do. Baggy pants to make my hips more "masculine." And now I'm in 10th grade and I finally realized I was nonbinary. Yet I still have doubts because I think my dysphoria "isn't real" I think it's because it's not the most extreme form. but idk.
I can't get my mom to understand that I NEED to have top surgery in order to eliminate the dysphoria I feel around my breasts and that binding isn't a permanent solution and that this is who I am and I'm not going to regret getting the surgery. I don't know if anything I say or do will make her even slightly okay with me getting top surgery.
AweZome Alice because there not happy
@A M. Transgender identities don't go away, what the fuck are you on about?
I mean I don't think you need to be getting top surgery if your young enough that your mom has to be approving it. \It's not a surgery that has to be done early in life to be successful. When you're young it's easy to get confused by some of the people online that lie about things like this and influenced by their decisions. It sounds like your mom is worried about that and wants to make sure that you're actually trans and not just going through a phase or even just experiencing body dysmorphia rather than gender dysphoria. Especially if you haven't talked to a professional about these feelings.
@@torrinashley6076 If you're actually trans no they don't. But it's really easy for a lot of young people to get confused. ESPECIALLY when dealing with body dysmorphia and thinking it's gender dysphoria. Or even just not fitting into gender norms can confused a young person. Either way, no one should be getting any surgery if they have to have their moms permission.
How old are you guys please dont put your poor moms through this hell lol If youre teens you cant even drink let alone change your body like this
At 36, I’ve only just come to understand that I have been feeling this my whole life. A recent autism diagnosis and major weight shifts made me look at things very differently and I realised my body disphoria and most recent mental health concerns were coming from something much more long term. I had finally seen my body the way I had unconsciously always believed it was supposed to be and when it started reverting back to the ultra feminine hips, breasts and butt I didn’t yet know how to comprehend where the feelings were coming from. Once I figured out I was more than just a little androgynous some days, it was almost a freeing experience.
Watching this video has brought even more understanding. I asked for a Hysterectomy at 15yrs of age because I never wanted children or the reproductive organs that came with it, the periods etc. I’ve never understood just how far that need went. Knowledge is power and I have to say I am so grateful to you. I always knew it was one of the most hurtful things in my life that I wasn’t trusted as a female by any doctors, to know how I feel and make a decision regarding my own body. I only stopped asking at 30 when I finally understood I was asexual and stopped trying to have sex and understood they weren’t going to tie my tubes or take the lot anyway.
But now I can learn what truly feels most right for me. I have an IUD so I don’t have to worry about periods for the most part but honestly, I would still like to be without reproductive options. And I have known since I was a very EDIT: ‘small human’ that breasts were something that felt very, very wrong to me. Great and beautiful on others, just so fundamentally wrong to me. I would love to have a moustache and wear a skirt...Boylesque is gorgeous. But so is the beautiful textures of boho boys, gypsy girls and I love the androgynous aesthetic of Shane from The L Word or Kristen Stewart anytime. I think what I love is swinging wildly back and forth and then standing with my feet firmly in both sides, just expressing myself freely.
do you think if you had been a man asking for a vasectomy the doctors would have refused to perform the procedure? just curious regarding other people's experiences - a family member had a similar issue trying to get a doctor to tie her tubes when she was younger, she wasn't asexual but was in a committed relationship, she & her partner were very convinced they did not want children & she had had terrible experiences with birth control, hormone-induced depression etc. for years they refused to operate on her, insisting she would "change her mind later." i can't imagine doctors saying that to a male patient (or even saying it about another surgery - imagine having a tumor, even a benign one, & the doctor saying "oh better wait, you might want that later"). i'm wondering how common this type of supercilious doctor BS is. i suspect it's relatively widespread as most doctors believe they are gods.
I'm a girl by birth, but sometimes i look in the mirror and wish my chest was gone. Or that my hips weren't wide. So i cover up in layers to hide my body shape. I also sometimes wish I had male genitals. But I dont think i would feel comfortable being referred as a boy. Could i maybe me non binary?
Lonely Raijū yes definitely. Or it’s possible that you’re just not ready to id as a boy yet which is fine. You be you ;)
@@xbduf4gb I do agree that the first one could be a reason. And actually, thanks to outside sources, we can actually explore ourselves and find ourselves instead of being trapped in a little conservative bubble and not being happy.
You may also be ftm
@@xbduf4gb Maybe. Idk. She can find out her true self. Regardless.
I feel like this too sometimes. I think yes
This is making me feel so freaking valid as a AFAB person who’s still trying to figure out their gender identity. Non-binary is feeling more and more right to me, and watching this video has made me come to terms with the fact that I actually *do* have dsyphoria, and it makes me feel better to know that I must be on the right path now. Thank you for the information ❤️
started developing top dysphoria a when my top started growing, and like, i get sick when i'm taking a shower and at times started crying. didn't know that i was feeling dysphoria. Bless baggy shirts
OMG YOU PUT IT INTO WORDS.
Accepting my chest privately but not wanting to "present" it in daily life bc of people's feminizing of it.
Me: **tries to find a video on every type of dysphoria because I am ✨ a mess~ ✨**
Lol I am female by sex, and she/he/they by gender.
I've been thinking about my true gender and you've basically hit the nail on the head. I've hated the idea of having breasts since they first started developing and no matter where I go I feel like that's all people see of me. I'm also not just dysphoric about periods, but my whole reproductive system in general. If I could get them removed I'd do it in a heartbeat.
kokjosj same bruh, literally me as a kid every single day id look down in the shower at my chest and be like "nonon hahah go away, quit growing, leave me alone" but i couldn't do anything to stop it. And yet i had the audacity to look at myself in the mirror and be like "im a girl" like please 😭
Thank you so much for making this video. I find a lot of channels that focus on the experiences transmen and transwomen, but not a whole lot of NB information or even discussion.
I feel so lost when it comes to expressing my gender identity. I don't want top or bottom surgery because there are days when I feel fine with my breasts and vagina. Other times, I want the boobs gone and a penis between my legs. Sometimes, I want a mix like no breasts and a vagina. It's gone on for so long that I'm not even sure when it started.
I'm working on saving up for a binder, and then I'll see about how I want to progress from there.
Briar Lynn oh my god I'm so relieved someone else feels the same way I wish I could control my chest and genitals and change them at will because it's so awful having them stuck one way
i feel the same exact way!
Same here. The things Ash had said about periods are especially true. Sometimes I lie in bed hoping that the next morning I turn into a male or that my womb is gone. I’m non binary and AFAB.
yeah, it’s like sometimes i wish i was just a feminine male because it would get rid of a lot of problems i have
Have you tried period “panties” you can get them in styles that maybe would feel a little more comfortable too. I know the Canadian brand Aisle has brief and boxer brief leakproof styles. Thinx also has a great line up. Definitely not sponsored, just thought that might be helpful.
As a nonbinary person myself, period underwear has really helped me (I use Thinx). I have bottom dysphoria in which I hate the thought of touching or even looking at my nether-regions, so the underwear makes it super easy to avoid that.
I’ve been looking for some way to describe how I feel about my period/having a uterus, and this is exactly it! It’s so strange to consider that I have dysphoria, because half the time I feel like I’m entirely faking it. I’ve been subscribed for awhile, and I’ve come back frequently enough and done enough research and self-discovery to seriously consider myself genderqueer in some way/shape/form. I’ve never really known how to identify with womanhood in the first place, I just always assumed, “I’m femme, I was born AFAB, I’m a girl” until I seriously questioned WHY I think like that. Thank you for your channel, and everything you’ve covered. It’s seriously been such a great resource!!
I'm genderfluid and I experience top dysphoria way to much
Sorry about them and I’m sorry for what you’re going through!
I spent so many years ignoring the fact that my chest was growing; my mum would insist that I'd need a bra soon and I'd just put it off for so long that she wouldn't find the time to drag me to the shops. I feel like I've spent all of my childhood ignoring the fact that my body was changing, I hated the monthly hell that came at puberty, every health class was like nails down a chalk board of all the things that were wrong wrong wrong wrong. I didn't want this, I never wanted this.
It's only now that I'm identifying all these experiences with dysphoria, it's loosened me up a little to physical changes in other people. I still don't know what I am or what I want to be, but I know it isn't anywhere binary.
Same
This so much! I'm transitioning (this channel is my project of documenting my transition on HRT) and even coming to understand that I even wanted and needed to transition was complicated because binary and restrictive understandings and representation of dysphoria and transition made it that much harder to realize. Thank you for sharing your experience and speaking on this Ashley!
I have bouts of gender dysphoria but I was raised by homophobic parents, went into the military, and now live in the bible belt. Sure it's tough at times but ive got that little voice in my head that says "Man the fuck up and get the hell over it" to get me through the tough times.
I've started making nonbinary videos here over the past few months and really really appreciate having yours to turn to for guidance! What you said about how you feel when you have your period, emotionally, is the answer I've been looking for for all of these years (and I'm 43!). I know now that I feel dysphoria around the intensity of emotions that I experience during it. Wow. Awesome to be able to put words to it. Again, thank you!
IM SO GLAD IM NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO'S DYSPHORIC ABOUT THEIR PERIOD. No one I know gets it, they just think that I don't like my period like any other "girl" out there. What you said was so relatable oh my godddd
Omg this is so helpful
Now, after coming to terms with my sexuality, i got to start questioning my gender a few months prior and now everything finally makes sense.
Everytime i get my period it makes me feel so sick and disgusted with myself.
And not sick because of my cramps but i cannot stand the thought that a uterus is a part of my body and that it hypothetically would be able to produce a child. Which is like the worst nightmare for me.
I thought for so long that something is terribly wrong with me for not accepting my body as it is
as an enby myself, often wondering if i really have dysphoria, thank you
Yea I can relate
This video and the comments are so validating. Some days I love my female body, and others it feels...wrong.
I felt so related it actually made me cry. You truly helped me realize so many things. I don't feel like I'm weird anymore. You're such an awesome person, thanks a lot❤️
Omg you have just hit the nail on the head for me. I completely get where your coming from and can relate to you with the way you feel. I have torn between transitioning and being non binary I have huge dysphoria around my boobs (which are 48DD) and my menstrual cycle I feel disconnected from my body and that my body has it wrong and I shouldn't be doing this and there's some kind of mistake. I feel disgusted and hate myself and can't look myself in the mirror because of it. Thank you for sharing xx
I had one of those annoying moments a few months ago, where someone at a pharmacy just assumed, because of how I look, that I must be wanting the Naproxen for menstrual cramps instead of arthritis, and started telling me what meds were better for menstrual cramps.
It's not like I was yelling at the pharmacist or anything. I just internally though they wouldn't jump directly to menstrual cramps, if a guy asks for Naproxen. You could just ask "what do you need it for?" and then suggest what helps best with that. I know the pharmacist wanted to be helpful, and I did stay polite. I don't directly go to calling people "fucking degenerate" either. lol
I’ve been questioning my gender for over a year now and I finally found your videos and I’ve watched a few and I just wanted to say how much they have helped me in figuring out what all of my feelings could mean and whether what I’m feeling is just “tomboy” or actual dysphoria. I now know what I’m feeling is normal and okay and thank you so much for that it means the world to me
I wish I could love this video instead of just liking it!
Thank you so much for this video, it's so spot on! Looking forward to more Gender Resources from you :)
I'm non-binary agender and I get terrible chest dysphoria. I don't have sports bras, as I haven't able to get any yet, but I ordered a binder and it's on the way. I don't get bottom dysphoria, but I do have a problem with my hips and curves (I'm latinx, which means my genetics aren't in my favor either). I still don't know whether I want to go on hormones because, like I said, I don't have bottom dysphoria. Also, even though I have "feminine" facial features, I can pass as a boy with my short hair (I am more masculine-presenting). My voice sometimes "gives me away" as afab and that's a struggle but going on T changes it permanently and idk if I want that.
Omfg I'm in completely the same situation as you. Think I'm going to keep binding and maybe go on testosterone in a while, but eventually get top surgery
Some things that have helped my other female looking non-binary friends is working out. Since fat distributes to different places in people born female than men, it may help you feel better if you try to get rid of that stuff all together and turn it into muscle.
I'm non-binary (agender, technically,) and I feel a huge amount of dysphoria about my torso, and whenever people say things to me along the lines of "having a woman's body" all I can think of is, okay where is this woman whose body I have, because I don't want it so I would gladly give it back! There are basically no options for transition, medical or otherwise, not only on account of the sheer financial costs, but because the Canadian Gov't only JUST started experimenting with N/B ID's and even then it is only on driver's and medical licences, and only in Ontario (not my province.) I feel like I will never be read as Enbee mostly due to my rather large chesticles, and that fact that most people still seem firmly rooted in the idea that only M and F genders are valid, and that if you have breasts like mine that you can't be anything other than female. I meant for this to turn into a question, or to evolve to form a point, but I guess all I can do right now is vent/whine :/
so i think im agender too, because i dont really like being called miss but sir doesnt sound right either. i dont have chest dysphoria (but that could be because i have very tiny boobs), but i dont like having female genitals. i would rather have no genitals at all. but i like my broad hips and sometimes i even wear dresses but i cant wear a dress without shorts underneath because i dont feel comfy. when i go outside i try to mix femenin and masculin clothing. i dont feel like a girl and i dont think i feel like a boy either. i had my hair really long and very short, i liked both, but i think i liked longer hair better. can you tell me if im agender or just a not very femenin girl?
@@nekomata5059 well if you would rather have nothing as genitals i guess you are agender...
@@xbduf4gb Imagine thinking like @Alx in 2019
*can't relate*
@@xbduf4gb
In a way that is discriminative and heinous. Below is a link about transgender and the science behind it. And yes, Transgender and Non-Binary are both quite similar:
ruclips.net/video/MitqjSYtwrQ/видео.html
@@xbduf4gb Sorry, I don't understand. Are you comparing LGBT to pedophilia? Or are you just saying pedophilia is cruel? Because if you think LGBT and Non-Binary is pedophilia, you have a lot of learning to do
Thank you so much for making this video. I've been disphoric about my gender since i hit puberty, and have been very depressed as a result. Because i don't want to transition, i felt i didn't have a case, or even a place in society. Thank you for being so much for putting it so simply, i feel like now i know there are others like me, i can begin to accept myself.
I've been struggling really bad with dysphoria lately, and everything you've said mirrors my experience completely. It's so validating to hear someone speak what I'm feeling, so thank you so much for sharing!!
I really love your video ! You make this so clear to me ! I am personally cisgender but I really want to know and understand trans and non binary people's expérience. Thank you so much for that ❤❤👊
Hey, have you read Gender Failure? It's by two non-binary people called Rae Spoon and Ivan E. Coyote. This just made me think of it because they address a lot of nb things, including dysphoria.
i really needed this. I’ve been struggling with my gender identity and this answers a lot of questions for me. Thank you
I feel this so much. It's especially hard as I am now out as NB and I have been in a relationship for 8 years. My partner is very boob oriented and for me it's a huge huge source of discomfort and dysphoria, my chest is large and I want it gone in all honesty. Talking about this and making my partner understand I don't want my chest acknowledged or touched is tough, and I wish I had friends who related and were part of the LGBTQ+ community
Wait is that why my anxiety spikes whenever I’m on my period?
this really helped me and i sooo relate to the period bit, it feels so foreign to me!! i feel so disconnected from my body during it, and so.. comfortable? i'm only 14 and i'm lucky enough to have only had one period so far but it was so confusing, uncomfortable, and just,,, sucky. but as a young non-binary? person (i'm questioning) i really love u for making this video tho
i’m about 5 years late, but i just wanted to say thank you. half of the things you said really connected with me, as if you were just describing my life. i really needed this on my journey.
I've been desperately trying to figure out what I've been feeling for the past few months and this video just explained it so well. I get a lot of chest dysphoria some days, but since it went away on others I just thought it was me disliking my body. thank you for making this video!!!
I myself am genderfluid (more masculine/agender) and due to my body shape and chest I get mega dysphoria. My mom knows about this though she wants me to dress more feminine which makes it worse. I am very mixed about top surgery which is why I just use a binder. When I wear baggy clothing or my hair is a certain way is the only time it calms down and I can feel truly happy, if not I feel very uncomfortable and sometimes wish to just throw away certain parts of me or change things like my voice or shape,,
I literally just learned today that gender and biological sex are two different things and that gender is a social construct. These facts do change my opinion on the pronoun debate.
Jesse G fuck you
Calm down, Darrell.
Jesse G gender is biological construct
Lana Del Raider no
Good for you!
I thought I was the only one that felt this way about my top dysphoria. Thank you so much for this video, it truly helped me a lot.
Oh my fuck, I teared up a little bit when you began talking about periods. I've never been that comfortable discussing them with other people unless it's in a clinical fashion and even then I don't talk about it as though it's something I personally experience. My dysphoria comes on during those times as a result of feeling emotions run away from me. It feels like I'm losing control and so I withdraw. Periods make me lose my usual level-headedness which is quite distressing for me.
This is a great video. I'm nonbinary and I definitely feel body dysphoria, specifically around my torso area, though there are times that I don't feel this dysphoria and I actually kinda like what I've got on my upper body. I HATE wearing cupped bras and haven't worn them since probably middle school when I guess my breasts weren't as big and I wasn't feeling too dysphoric yet. I wear these cupless bras that aren't exactly sports bras but are worn like a tank top. I'd love to bind if I could get my hands on a binder, or at least find a good sports bra that can support what I've got. I think my thing with them is I'd just rather they were smaller, small enough that they wouldn't pop out and get in the way of buying clothes and such. (Wow. That was a rant.)
Cupped bras are the worst. I’m already hella mad that my breasts are B and are already a hassle to conceal without a binder, but when I wear cupped bras I feel absolutely and completely disgusted. Sports bras are my Best Friend tbh, good to use them first when you don’t have a binder
i’m questioning my gender and at first i thought i was gender fluid, because it felt like i’d been fluctuating between genders for a while, but then i felt no sense of gender for over a week, and i worried that i wasn’t actually gender fluid and was lying to myself. but then yesterday i most definitely felt like a boy for majority of the day. sometimes i even think i might be ftm because i really want the figure of a boy (broad shoulders, flat chest, sharp cheekbones). i don’t think it’s gender expression because sometimes i want to be called a he and have that figure, but wear a crop top or a skirt. i read that some people who are questioning call themselves genderqueer until they figure it out, so that’s what i want to do. i want to tell my sister, but i’m not sure or how to tell her and i’m not even sure if this is true, i just thought it might be helpful to have at least one person call me the right pronouns, and help me test out which ones i like more.
some days when my dysphoria isn’t bad i feel like i’m faking it, and i wish for the dysphoria to come back just so i can know it’s real.
i figured it out! i’m actually a demiboy and i use he/they pronouns!
I remember that first period in childhood and how absolutely devastated I was to get it. I hate my body on some days and other times I don't. Thanks for sharing this
when i was younger i always thought i “acted like a man” when i was menstruating. like i didn’t care at all that it was happening, i hoped and prayed my body wouldn’t do this to me again, and it made me feel weird how “me, of all people, have a period”. not because it was inconvenient (even though it very much is) i just felt like it was my body betraying me& i shouldn’t have to deal with it because thats just not..?!?? right ?!??. now as a enby i’m now realizing it was always a form of dysphoria and it’s one of the biggest struggles now i feel like i have, and that’s almost unavoidable and in your face.
Hey you look really androgynous, it's awesome, at first I thought you were physically male (sorry if that's a bad thing!) I identify as female but sometimes I wish I could just instantly switch between male and female.
You can get types of contraception that stops your period, I had depo provera for 2 years and it was so good not having periods lol
That's EXACTLY how I feel about my breasts, oh my god, I'm so glad you're the same. It's so hard to explain!
Thank you so much for this video. I wish I could like it a million times over. It's crazy how much I identify with your experience and it's so nice to know I'm not alone :)
you sound so certain of yourself and it’s beautiful I hope to reach that headspace someday. Thank you for sharing/educating ❤️
Every single thing you talked about I experience, except I bind when I can
I'm gender neutral and have just recently *really* known for certain that I am, ive had periods where I would questions if I was gender fluid but it really didn't sit well with meI'm still discussing anything I can with anyone I can until I can get top surgery (which I just decided recently that its something I actually do want to go through with) and see what I can do with my genitals since I'm not completely trans, I'm in the middle and you know how therapists and doctors can be
Tavros Nitram how did you figure it out? I might be going through the same ...
I'm so glad you made this video! I too thought dysphoria meant you wanted to permanently get rid of your genitals, but I don't feel the need to bind either 'cause my chest is small too and I just wear baggy clothing 24/7. I had always felt awkward about my gender in society, but I never had a word for what I was feeling. It was actually a few months ago that I was walking around with one of my friends and her friend saw us and texted her saying that she was with her boyfriend (referring to me). My friend told me that her friend mistook me for a male and I was happy, but only for a second, because that too didn't feel quite right. At the time, all I could use to describe what I felt like I were the words "human" and "just being myself".
Ashley, that was the most enlightening, articulate, authentic and moving presentation of personal dysphoria I have heard. Thank you for expanding my understanding of this experience. Be blessed.
Is it possible to have romantic dysphoria. I often find myself seeing mlm relationships and being jealous. Idk if jealousy would be the right word for it.
Me too though? Lol
Me. I have been thinking about this a lot. I guess that im genderfluid. When im interested in men and mlm relationships I feel like I want to be a male i connect with my masculine side but as a woman im not interested in being with a man it actually makes me uncomfortable. its confusing.
You mentioned transitioning; It would be awesome to see you have an interview/conversation with a trans person. I wouldn't mind a short series to cover many things involved in their life/lives.
Conversations with people of all sexual identities is a great idea! U should do something like that Ashley. * crosses fingers and wishes on a star and throws some coins in a fountain *
Wow, I feel like you are saying everything I have every thought about even down to the sports bra. I've struggled with not knowing who I am and I feel like this explains so much.
fuck this video literally brought tears to my eyes because you so simply yet eloquently put my exact confused thoughts and feelings into words. There aren't words adequate enough to thank you ❤️ also, as a side note, and I really hope you don't take this the wrong way, but it makes me really happy that you choose to go by a name that is more "feminine leaning". I love my name and I don't want to change it, but I have felt conflict about how obviously "feminine" my name is. Seeing you, and your name is very comforting. ❤️
Is it possible to only have gender dysphoria at certain times? I'm a girl and I feel like a girl, but every now and then (maybe once or twice a month) I feel really dysphoric. Like if I felt like that all the time, I definitely wouldn't identify as a girl. I don't want to undermine trans people with actual dysphoria, but does this mean anything?
Annebannan There is a strong possibility you might be genderfluid! Lots of people flow between feeling masculine, feminine, and/or neutral.
I feel the same and I wanna know what it is
I don't think you know what dysphoria is and feels like..
@@HetalianPasta Oh please.
@@Faecorpsegal It's nothing. It's a lot of hype. Just be female with an androgynous appearance. It's only social media spreading hype.
I am an 11-year old......female?
I have been questioning my gender for a couple weeks and I'm positive I'm not FTM.
I am not sure if it is just me being insecure or diasporic but I hate my chest.
Oh and on top of that, I have been having the same reoccurring dream with everyone asking me while I was walking to my grandma's house: "Are you a girl or a guy?" Idk if that is just random or means something.
But anyway, if anyone has any advice for me, please give it.
ily all ze guys, gals and non-binary pals!
It's good that you're acknowledging that right now, as someone who suffered from gender dysphoria at a very young age I want you to know that the worst thing you can do is to repress those emotions, I'm still figuring out myslef but I got your back dude :)
Hey, I'm 16, and I've felt dysphoria since I was probably 7 or 8. Not to a massive degree when I was younger, as gender didn't impact my life so much back then. From aged 11 to probably 14 and a half, I felt pressure to be feminine, from my family and community, as they are religious and I was back then. But deep down, as much as I knew I wasn't male, I didn't feel fully female either. It was around Christmas last year that I began to research gender terms, and I found out about being non binary. I finally had the language to understand my feelings. It wasn't that I wasn't always non binary, but that actually, I have always been non binary without the language to express it.
So don't worry if you feel too young to know; don't worry if you change your mind; and don't worry if you feel new things from time to time. The wonderful thing is that gender is flexible. You decide how to express who you are, and no matter if you're 11, 25 or 78, it's valid.
Honestly this is basically exactly what I’m feeling currently and I was debating on what to do about it. Thanks for making this vid as it’s cleared a bunch of things up for me. As some who has a very curvy body shape I’ve been finding it really hard to feel more comfortable with who I am and I I’ve managed to do is wear baggy clothing (though I also wear them as I also like baggy clothes)
The chest dysphoria is soooo me. I actually donated most of my cupped bras because I hadn't worn them in a year, due to dysphoria. I'm perfectly cool with my naked body but if my chest is visible to others in public, I get really uncomfortable. That's why I bind and wear sports bras exclusively.
I don't really know yet if it's dysphoria but sometimes i feel really bad when i look at my chest, and i feel it more now that i gain some weight and they're bigger, is not that it doesn't feel like my chest is just that I really hate the way it looks, the image on the mirror mekes me feel horryfied in some way i just hate how big my chest looks also it happens with my voice sometimes when I suddenlly listen to myself talk afther a while my voice sounds so high and femmenine it doesn't feel like it's mine at all. there's so much and i just don't know how to deal with it, scares me to even think about it because I know that I dont identify as a women but it's scary to think what wold happen if i found out ...
there's a lot of times where physically I don't want to look gendered at all (I don't want chest/genitals and stuff) but I still put makeup on and dress feminine. I just feel like dressing feminine but not being female. Same with masculinity. Dysphoria is hard to deal with there's times where I'm just so upset and I don't know why and I can't make it stop until I realize that it's dysphoria and then I can usually fix it in like 5 minutes. goodluck on figuring out how to deal with it and stuff, i still havent
+xRomethekittenx i do also feel like I'm wearing a costume when I dress feminine like it's just all this things that make me look like a woman but I'm not that. thanks and good luck to you too
i have the same exact feelings!! but most of the time i'm proud to be a female so i don't think i'm nonbinary. but i truly feel that way, i am so much more comfortable when people can't objectify my body, and i feel like feminine clothing makes my bod easier to objectify so i prefer less feminine clothing most of the time. it can be a burden to have a female form
Girl, EVERYBODY thinks their voices sound higher when they listen to themselves on a recording. The vibrations from our voices travel through the jawbone to our middle ears, that's why.
As far as your breasts, what makes you think you should like them? Do you have a male mind? Of course, they are going to look "ugly" to you! That's how women respond to the sight of other women's breasts. We don't care for them. We're not guys. (Yes, I have heard other women complain that their larger breast get in their way, and hold sweat, etc.) Just enjoy having those decorations!
sounds like body dysphoria to me.
why are alot on nonbinary people born female? I've always wondered that.
All the non binary people I've seen are female. I've never met a non binary person who was born male.
LisV :3 I have! I have 4 boy mates who are Non-binary
How are they guys AND non binary?
LisV :3 what? 😂 what do you mean, 'how are they guys AND Non-binary' They just are 😂 it's not just females jeez. It's the same for every person who is Non-binary
It has a lot to do with how afabs and amabs are socialized
Hi Ashley - I think I understand what you are saying and I appreciate you stating what I've felt for a very long time. I am a Non-binary borne male who has been dysphoric all my life. Because of work requirements, I couldn't come close to transitioning. Had the opportunity to "turn off" my male self for a year while working in So. Cal, but when I moved I couldn't do that anymore. Now I'm retired from the requirement for security clearances and have finally found a doctor who is helping me transition to my non-binary self. At this point I don't want to be on either end of the gender spectrum, I just want to not have to deal with any of it. Thank you for sharing your thoughts about this topic, they are inspirational and help this old genderqueer cope.
Thank you for this video Ashley! The way you described your dysphoria relating to your chest resonated with me so closely! As a small chested person, I am generally fairly okay with wearing a tight sport bra. For the most part this alleviates most of my dysphoria (button up shirts are the only item of clothing where my chest is notably female, which I hate).
Oh my gosh, someone understands how i feel, SOMEONE IS JUST LIKE ME :O
why don't you just do birth control just a suggestion but it stopped my period and I have doctors approval. because I get so dysphoric that I literally fall apart. I'm going to be on it tell I can get uterus and cervix removed.
Yeah, I don't understand why they don't consider BC. Ashley Mardell has a really good video about birth control, you can get a shot that is totally safe, basically eliminates your period or gives you a max of 4 a year, and doesn't cause any weight gain.. seems like an easy fix?
It is for me because I want to be comfortable in my own body its my choice.
This is my reason, and it might be the same for Ashley; birth control makes me feel even more dysphoric. The thought of taking female hormones every day, it seems so gross and wrong to me. I experienced dysphoria for the way the birth control made me feel (it had a strong influence on my mental state), kind of similar to the dysphoria Ashley describes for her mental state while on her period.
You are free to be who you want to be and express yourself and anyway you desire thank you for your response. from my personal experiences dealing with gender dysphoria as a young teenager I started to take birth control and it helped me feel better about my anatomy. I can understand your point of view though, Whatever you do wherever you go it is important to be yourself and if you don't want to take birth control don't take it you should make choices that are good for you and your mental state.
@@Pituzer I recommend you look into IUDs with progestin. They are estrogen-free and release a smaller amount of progestin than oral tablets because it is delivered directly in the uterus rather than having to circulate through your entire system. Result is lighter-to-no period symptoms and less likely to experience side-effects from the addition of hormones.
Thank you so much for this video! Your experience with having breasts is the same as mine, but I didn't realize that what I experience is dysphoria. I only wear sports bras because they conceal my breasts enough to not feel uncomfortable, and I feel "gross" in the rare occasion when I have to wear a cupped bra. I thought because I don't want to have top surgery that I couldn't possibly be trans and non-binary. I'm currently questioning my gender identity, and your video has been such a huge help. This is the first time I've ever commented on a RUclips video, which says a lot. So thanks for this!
This is so incredibly relatable to me. I wish I could make a video myself talking about how I feel, but I'm just not ready. But thank you for this. Seriously, thank you.
The first non binary person I find normal.
What do you mean by normal
what breasts
in your case thats actually a compliment.. =)
I am so glad that you mentioned having dysphoria related to your period. It made me realize that they are other people out there like me. My doctors have always made me think I was crazy for having this kind of dysphoria. Thank you for validating how I feel.
I relate to this 💯% !!!!
THANK YOU FOR SHARING!
I can always tell my cycle is coming because for 2-3 days before I start, I have “hyper-masculine” days. It’s only been recently that I’ve realized it was subconscious compensation for the dysphoria I feel during this time.