Was also in the Matrix, John Wick, Mortal Kombat, Atomic Blonde and Logan, to name a few... He's one of the hardest working stunt choreographers in the business.
This episode is straight gold all the way through. "Jean Claude Gosh Darn" and "halfway house for huge guys" are both in my top 5 favorite MST3K lines in existence.
With all the people in cars driving around in the background just living their lives, this future war seems to be something that is only disrupting like 10 people.
Double check ! ! & after MST3K re-released with comedic mutterings and shorts with robots 🤖 its now one of funniest things since - just don't know when
starting @ 40:11 while the confused nun's interior narrative states that she has a past that she's not proud of, Crow chimes in "...that's why I kept a scrapbook" is hilarious
Fun fact - the space dude, aka 'the runaway', is Daniel Bernhardt, one of Hollywood's hardest working stunt choreographers, with many, many roles from an agent in the Matrix, to John Wick, Logan, Mortal Kombat, Atomic Blonde and beyond. Guy has had an impressive career.
@@mmusgrove he's in literally multiple iconic movies and is one of the most well known stunt actors in hollywood, despite starring in Santa's Summer Home. i think that's impressive, like starting with your legs broken in a race
+Tareltonlives If Daniel Bernhardt was in Jurassic World, the movie would have lasted 20 minutes: he defeated Noob and John Wick, a shitty dinosaur stand no chance against the GREATEST MORTAL KOMBAT CHARACTER! Also, Daniel Bernhardt need to be in way more movies, I really like the guy: he has charisma and know how to fight!
I love the meta(ish) moment, during the closing credits. Mike's doing his unfunny shadow puppets and Bill says, "Is this because Joel stopped by recently?" Not long after, you have the Servo line, about having dozens of himself, which pays off in a future episode. It's ridiculously fun writing. With perhapps a pinch of truth. Wonderfull!! Cheers from Canada
Bible-quoting kickboxer from outer space fights forced-perspective exploding dinosaurs and low-rent terminators to save hooker/drug dealer/apprentice nun.
MST3K is next to timeless. Nevertheless , it tells one how long those politicians remain in office. Decades. Then suddenly, this election, they suddenly have all the answers. Walk Away.
Ah, Future War! A movie about no future or any war whatsoever. Between this and Space Mutiny, there is at least a mutiny going on the latter. Featuring lots of boxes, Jean Cloud Gosh Darn, a spaceship with no astronauts, explosive cutesaurs, a nun, a Randy Johnson cyborg, battle of the guys who peaked in high school, forced perspective on Carnosaur models, a random soccer scene and a final battle at the church, this movie proves to be as exciting and fun as a cardboard box. In other words, we've got another amazing riff brought to you by MST3K, have a nice day!
When you mix "Terminator", "Jurassic Park", and any Van Damme movie post-1995 with the film quality of a high school film project you'll get SHIT so awful its makes Uwe Boll, Ed Wood, and Coleman Francis appear like Martin Scorcese, Steven Spielberg, and James Cameron!
Totally agree. Maybe best ever. The one Blemish, and only episode I have never been able to finish, Hamlet I'm off to try and get through it, for the 5th time. Please wish me luck :)
@@steveharvey2102 ooh, I actually love Hamlet and don’t even think it’s that terrible of an adaptation. Probably from watching too many high school productions of it.
Anyone else notice that the nun's "troubled past" story changes from scene to scene? First the kid was killed by a guy hopped up on drugs the nun sold him, then when she tells the story again, the kid overdosed on drugs the nun gave her. Or maybe she just indirectly killed several "smart, tough" girls before deciding to turn her life around?
kiraina25 I think he just told different made up back stories to screw with peoples heads... but it could be bad screen writing. just seemed like the first to me as it is the joker.
What? Are you saying that the acutal movie is better? With all of its ginormous plot holes, acting so wooden it could be mistaken for a lumberyard? That movie. To watch this unriffed by Mike and the Mst3k crew would be suicidal.
@@mayorenstein5316 they are really trying to stop my comments. I hope you are not supporting the channel if he can't even thumb up your comment. 👎SNNNESC U N T 👎
LMFAO @"I'll hit you so hard with this, you'll go flying that way" dammit Crow! Choked on my morning oatmeal. Ah yes, MST3K: The perfect way to start your day.
This show makes me feel empowered. Now I know that someday I too can grow up to become a female mad scientist and raise - then later kill - my own son while managing to torture a grown man and two robots. THANK YOU PEARL!!!
@@Crrrow It's a reference to RLM's review of this movie. Someone commented, "shut up" during their review because the writing in this movie is just so bad.
my step dad showed me and my sister MSTK3 when we were little.. we still watch it together, the three of us and future war is on our list for favorite episodes
This is the best show to watch when you're feeling down. The theme song alone always cheers me up.
LaLALa
Its like a time machine.
Even more so when feeling up, but at the risk of coming DOWN DOwn down.
It is the best theme song
@@kaityhan996 It's like the great theme songs of the 60s -- Green Acres, Gilligan's Island -- that explain the whole plot.
What blows my mind is the lead character, Daniel Bernhardt, trained Bob Odenkirk to prepare for the movie Nobody
Was also in the Matrix, John Wick, Mortal Kombat, Atomic Blonde and Logan, to name a few...
He's one of the hardest working stunt choreographers in the business.
Holy Crap! He's one of the bus thugs in Bob Odenkirk's Nobody! He's Bob's lead trainer and he's handsome as hell!
I’m sorry but that fight scene in Nobody was fake. How does he punch Bernhardt yet his shirt is still on him?
@@supermariofan03 WHAT! Surely you don't mean to imply that filmmakers might sacrifice pure accuracy for a spectacle! No one could be so underhanded.
@@jean-paulaudette9246 lol
Just realized "box wranglers" is an actual job listed in the credits.
Amazing.
Thank you for pointing this out! I guess all those empty boxes ain't gonna stack themselves. LOL
*"I'm getting my own credit."* Jason the intern who had to keep stacking boxes between takes
"So this isn't a future...and it isn't a war."
Loved you in "Manos" Torgo! Well, the mstk version.
"...but, y'know, I'm really not one to be picky."
It's just a typical b-movie
Top notch username, the master likes you 🤲
This episode is straight gold all the way through. "Jean Claude Gosh Darn" and "halfway house for huge guys" are both in my top 5 favorite MST3K lines in existence.
"According to the bells, it's 97 o'clock"
Gotta go with Crow and "the meatloaf" at 36:18
I haven’t had Hardee’s in an hour
@@peterschultz354 omg somehow I've never noticed that before in the 153860 times I've watched this 😆
@@waynehand4600 classic
"Glad the dinosaur got the kid, really distracted him." 😂
With all the people in cars driving around in the background just living their lives, this future war seems to be something that is only disrupting like 10 people.
So bad! I love the fact they just leave the kid after the dinos bust into the house. I don't even think the kid is mentioned again lol.
Haha. The kid. What happened to him?? That's big question!! Lol
They are all driving around the Ukraine still. In Future Wars people need to get to work and live their lives.
@@tranzco1173They are also still driving around Gaza and Israel.
It's normal life but with dinosaurs.
"I've got a brilliant idea for a movie! Think Terminator 2 meets Jurassic Park!"
"Hmm. Tell me more."
"Actually that's pretty much it."
Unfortunately, they got Time Cop meets Carnosaur.
*Future War*
Based on a random thought by some guy.
@@BendingInTheWind
Perfectly said!! LOL!
@@BendingInTheWind I hate the fact that's accurate.
It’s amazing how far $923.47 can go to produce a movie.
And to think, that was after a 10 percent mark up and taxes.
😂😂😂😂😂😂
That would explain all the boxes. Just amazing for 1000 bucks 😎🎉🎉
And it still managed to not make a profit.
55:40 - the crew being laid off
"I'm a tool," is the most accurate thing said in this movie.
"Is he talking about a wahrwilf?" LOL throwback to Werewolf! XD
I like how dinosaurs could actually 'sneak up' on people.
"Oh no! Before it was a Milky Way, now it's a Snickers. Make it stop, make it stop!"
13lood13ath that scene induced a flashback for me
MST3K has done this film a service - it had no value in modern culture until they recycled it as a comedy. Freakin' love this show!
Other than being one of the first films of a Hollywood stunt legend, Daniel Bernhardt. Look up his filmography, it's quite impressive.
Double check ! !
& after MST3K re-released with comedic mutterings and shorts with robots 🤖 its now one of funniest things since - just don't know when
It can't be easy to make a film worse than Space Mutiny but the producers of this effort managed it and, thus, are clearly geniuses.
😅
Take a chair.
The church fight at the end is golden. “The Lutherans build a cyborg!” 😂🤣
(smashes through wall)
IT'S SUPER POPE!
Instant classic!
"My shirt was knocked off! It was knocked off! I swear!"
Liberation theology versus Opus Dei!
It's even better since immediately before he blew up a statue of Mary
starting @ 40:11 while the confused nun's interior narrative states that she has a past that she's not proud of, Crow chimes in "...that's why I kept a scrapbook" is hilarious
The riff that got me hooked on MST3k was "Oh so suddenly he's mister flashlight."
i read somewhere the art director for FUTUREWAR thought MST was too lenient on the movie.
read it just now - forget where it was
wow that's amazing lol
lol
@Adam V I know, was this guy doing it probono or what?
@Adam V as in 'the guy they sent to get all the cardboard boxes'.
“Battle of the Guys Who Peaked in High School” lolz!!!
"KEEP CIRCULATING THE TAPES!"
"Look, when we met, you were hiding from a pimp, you just did a month in the joint, you were suicidal and addicted."
And you threw it all away!
Great line and Crow's delivery was on point too
That line gets me *every* time
Crow was always my favorite!
I love when you read a comment just as the line is being read in the movie. That just happened to me. Special feeling.
In huge guy's defense, Anne did seem to need her backstory told to her, as she obviously can't remember it accurately herself.
Fun fact - the space dude, aka 'the runaway', is Daniel Bernhardt, one of Hollywood's hardest working stunt choreographers, with many, many roles from an agent in the Matrix, to John Wick, Logan, Mortal Kombat, Atomic Blonde and beyond. Guy has had an impressive career.
I don't know why but learning this really makes me happy. Thanks.
he's also in Santa's Summer Home, done by rifftrax
He also had a small role in Red Notice, where he gets to beat up The Rock in a Russian prison.
I think you mean the guy had a career. Impressive? That's subjective.
@@mmusgrove he's in literally multiple iconic movies and is one of the most well known stunt actors in hollywood, despite starring in Santa's Summer Home. i think that's impressive, like starting with your legs broken in a race
I love the production's absolute lack of effort on the "news crew".
And how Mike and the bots start snickering when he begins his report 😂😂😂
They put even less effort into their "police department". Like how one guy is supposed to be a cop just because he has a hat that says police on it.
"This is worse than I thought. There's no butter in my coffee."
The classic "box warehouse" scene is a work of cinematic art. The pinnacle of action!
"He's boxed in."
"Yeah, well I'm card-bored."
Shut up you two😂
"Now introducing new, faster seconds!"
"He's boxed in!"
"Yeah, well I'm card BORED."
Ha ha!
"Maybe this is an anthology of short, plotlesss movies"
So....this is where Jurassic World got the idea for training raptors to become "dinosaur trackers."
+Tigerman1138 And this is about as good a movie as Jurassic World
Ouch! pretty mean rating.
+Tareltonlives Honestly, this movie seem way, WAY better than Jurassic World. And it have Daniel Bernhardt!
It IS better than Jurassic World. Replace Chris Pratt with Daniel Bernhardt and he kicks the fakeosaurus!
+Tareltonlives If Daniel Bernhardt was in Jurassic World, the movie would have lasted 20 minutes: he defeated Noob and John Wick, a shitty dinosaur stand no chance against the GREATEST MORTAL KOMBAT CHARACTER!
Also, Daniel Bernhardt need to be in way more movies, I really like the guy: he has charisma and know how to fight!
Sorry I'm late, my sleeves fell off...
Ladies and gentlemen...
*FRED BURROUGHS!!*
"Tusk!" Love a good Fleetwood Mac reference.
I love the meta(ish) moment, during the closing credits. Mike's doing his unfunny shadow puppets and Bill says, "Is this because Joel stopped by recently?"
Not long after, you have the Servo line, about having dozens of himself, which pays off in a future episode.
It's ridiculously fun writing. With perhapps a pinch of truth.
Wonderfull!!
Cheers from Canada
"Thank you for not Killing me"!
They should make a Hallmark card for that.
"Something wrong with your throat! is that it? is that it?"
No, just chokin ya
Gypsy singing AC/DC cracks me up every time.
This has become my favourite show to watch late at night.
36:46 "Hey, it's a full aspirin out tonight." Man, that got me.
"Hey look! Casablanca! could you dopple me into that, Mike?"
always a sucker for when they reference other eps.
"werewolf?"
"Glad the dinosaur got the kid. Really distracted him."
The writing with this team was the navy seals of comedy
Fred Burroughs is more elusive than Robert Denby.
Impossible. 😂
“This is a case where a parent should have crushed a child’s dream of becoming a film maker.” 😆😆😆😆😆😆 Truth
Bible-quoting kickboxer from outer space fights forced-perspective exploding dinosaurs and low-rent terminators to save hooker/drug dealer/apprentice nun.
That sounds like an idea someone on Meth would create.
While police prove incompetent and gang members prove altruistic.
featuring some random fat guys the staff just pulled in from outside the studio
tsk!.. spoilers!
They should put this on the back of the DVD boxed set.
I just NOW noticed that the main star of this is SIRO, THE GREATEST MORTAL KOMBAT CHARACTER.
And his career has gotten better, so good for Bernhardt.
Hey, he learned his lesson
That's it! They kill one, we kill one.
@@MinscFromBaldursGate92 DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNN
He's in the Matrix trilogy. He plays an Agent in one or two of the goofy ones.
I like how they dig the tracking device out of his spine right then and there in the office.
amazing that in 2019 a Diane Feinstien joke is still kind of a topical reference.
This episode aired in 1999.
MST3K is next to timeless.
Nevertheless , it tells one how long those politicians remain in office. Decades. Then suddenly, this election, they suddenly have all the answers.
Walk Away.
@@sleepyhollow783 Exactly.
And still topical now since she just died two days ago.. I happened to watch this episode, and they mention her 🤔
What happened? We were batter dipping! 😂😂😂
Love servo!
This is definitely in the top 5 best episodes of MST
Ah, Future War! A movie about no future or any war whatsoever. Between this and Space Mutiny, there is at least a mutiny going on the latter. Featuring lots of boxes, Jean Cloud Gosh Darn, a spaceship with no astronauts, explosive cutesaurs, a nun, a Randy Johnson cyborg, battle of the guys who peaked in high school, forced perspective on Carnosaur models, a random soccer scene and a final battle at the church, this movie proves to be as exciting and fun as a cardboard box.
In other words, we've got another amazing riff brought to you by MST3K, have a nice day!
“Arby’s employee chapel” 😆😆😆
"DAMN BUMPUS'S DINOSAURS!" Choked on a Kettle chip. Thanks a lot, Servo.
Such a beautiful reference!
I do not get the reference.
From "A Christmas Story" ( except with dinosaurs instead of dogs)
It really undercuts the menace of your cyborg when you give him a huge mustache and whirring noises
oh man that intro gets me every time. "..in various ages, shapes,... sizes, and it's masters" ???
"Okay my theory is the director shot the entire movie without looking at it"
Wiwi Jumbo ....oh...THATS it!!!! Vision, or lack of.
You've had that job before. Get paid. Get out.
I love how the cardboard boxes are apparently full of car accidents
It's like they mixed "Terminator" with "Jurassic Park", and then gave it the production value left over from "Robowar".
lostonthewayhere - Who taught him how to fight, and why?
A kung-fu alien, perhaps.
When you mix "Terminator", "Jurassic Park", and any Van Damme movie post-1995 with the film quality of a high school film project you'll get SHIT so awful its makes Uwe Boll, Ed Wood, and Coleman Francis appear like Martin Scorcese, Steven Spielberg, and James Cameron!
Snap. Crackle. Pop.
Definitely a contender for my Top 10 MST3K list.
" German, Dutch huh? " yeah that makes perfect sense. Asking him in English if he speaks German or dutch... this movie just doesn't stop
OH!!! "Casablanca! Could you dopple me into that Mike?" From my fav Mst3k, "Overdrawn at the Memory Bank" !
LMAO LMAO Servo at 19:59 "My trained wiener will finish you off!"
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I've just added this episode to my top 4 mst3k Color episodes. Mike and Bots are hilarious!
One of those BEST OF episodes. This one has everything. Season 10 is just a beauty.
Totally agree. Maybe best ever. The one Blemish, and only episode I have never been able to finish,
Hamlet
I'm off to try and get through it, for the 5th time.
Please wish me luck :)
So TRUE😊
@@steveharvey2102 ooh, I actually love Hamlet and don’t even think it’s that terrible of an adaptation. Probably from watching too many high school productions of it.
Anyone else notice that the nun's "troubled past" story changes from scene to scene? First the kid was killed by a guy hopped up on drugs the nun sold him, then when she tells the story again, the kid overdosed on drugs the nun gave her. Or maybe she just indirectly killed several "smart, tough" girls before deciding to turn her life around?
Or maybe it's like the Joker's backstory in The Dark Knight.
kiraina25 I think he just told different made up back stories to screw with peoples heads... but it could be bad screen writing. just seemed like the first to me as it is the joker.
Yeah, I thought I was the only one who noticed that.
It's the bad everything that goes along with being a D level movie.
To be fair, the first few are freebies...
rip Robert Z'Dar (1950-2015)
His train wreck plastic surgery face lives on as a lesson to us all.
He asked to be buried with all of his acorns.
Live Free or Die Z'Dar
Z'Dar? Z'no!!!
"You're bringing a lot of money into the convent"
put the beer in the fridge lannic city...i'm going to the beer beach in the fridge
One of my earliest memories as a child, "Aaaagh! I've been stabbed by a pencil." Been looking for this episode ever since.
I feel ya, I've been yelling "killed by a pencil!" For ages now, especially online games with knives
In grade school, that was my weapon of choice.
I was feared, mightily.
Weirdly prophetic as the main guy in this died to John Wick
I tried killing someone with a forklift but it was too slow.
@@Kenko706 But is not the pen mightier?
"Who are you?"
"A tool."
Truer words were never spoken.
Still blows my mind that Jean Claude Gosh Darn had a part in the Matrix
And John Wick as well :)
And “Santa’s Summer House”
"Patrick, wait! Come back and be in the movie!"
"I'll hit you so hard with this, you'll go flying that way..." Best riff ever.
I like finding my comments from years back ☺
I just came across that part, that was an awesome riff.
The best line of all time:
"He's BOXED in."
Thank you, Crow T. Robot. You have made my life.
Yeah, well I'm card-bored.
Shut up, you two
“Just call me Bruce Boxliker.”
This movie is so mid 90's i began to mourn the death of Kurt Cobain all over again
56:03 "Ladies and gentlemen...FRED BURROUGHS!!!!!!"
FRED BURROUGHS.....HELP ME! From this movie!!!!!
hahaha
i have a feeling more people have seen the MST3K version than the actual movie
What? Are you saying that the acutal movie is better? With all of its ginormous plot holes, acting so wooden it could be mistaken for a lumberyard? That movie. To watch this unriffed by Mike and the Mst3k crew would be suicidal.
He didn't say any of that.
@@eviljoel this was released in cinemas?
@@troywright359 and what was the budget on this tripe? And what was the takings?
That’s probably actually the case with almost every movie they’ve ever done.
This movie mocks itself, even the hero calls himself a tool
"i'm a boxwrench"
"Call me snap on"
@MutantSentry
He’s a Craftyman.
The foley artist was told “I dunno how a punch sounds, maybe like a two by four hitting a raw steak?”
This is one of my all-time favorite episodes.
Same I dont know why I cant stop giggling
I love the thumbnail that was chosen for this video, it's some chump with a $40 suit from Men's Warehouse off the rack
I see you love mst3k as well. Love your vids by the way.
@@mayorenstein5316 they are really trying to stop my comments. I hope you are not supporting the channel if he can't even thumb up your comment.
👎SNNNESC U N T 👎
You are seriously overestimating the price of that suit.
Hey SNES! fancy seeing you here! :)
Great videos SNES! MST3K and video games can get us through anythinggggggggggggg
Establish a method to ask yes and no questions. First questions: "Where are you from?"
Yes.
@@troywright359 I predicted that that would be the first reply.
This comment needs more love
@@impendingrevile456 This comment should be shot
"She's wearing a maternity habit!" ROFL
The actor that plays The Runaway appeared in Birds of Prey, and has a lengthy filmography that includes many Hollywood A-movies.
jean claude gosh darn
No, no, np... Jean Claude gosh Damme
Every time I see Jean Claude Van Damme, I always say that.
“Am I Ving Rhames, I can’t remember”
“Oh, Z’ no”
“Z’ don’t”
"We call it...a corn" is a great opening riff.
He's BOXED IN! And I am CARD-BORED. I laughed so hard when I heard that one. :)
"you were hiding from a pimp, you just did a month in the joint, you were suicidal and addicted"
(And Ya, Threw It All Away !)
“I’ll hit you so hard with this, you’ll go flying that way”
LMFAO @"I'll hit you so hard with this, you'll go flying that way" dammit Crow! Choked on my morning oatmeal. Ah yes, MST3K: The perfect way to start your day.
"There's an injured man out in the car."
" I'll loan him some flesh."
JERRY NOOOOOOOOOO!!!! He was three days away from retirement!
Imagine the budget for this movie... All those boxes...
They must've raided dozens of dumpsters to get that many leftover boxes!
They hired a box factory for a week.
Those don’t come cheap, you know
At least 2 maybe 300 bucks
ä
This show makes me feel empowered. Now I know that someday I too can grow up to become a female mad scientist and raise - then later kill - my own son while managing to torture a grown man and two robots. THANK YOU PEARL!!!
Missed Trace and Frank so much during the 90s ... She’s annoying
Pearl is my soul sister 😆
@@cliffbooth1029 I think she does a perfect job of being annoying, I love to hate her haha
@@pigmentpeddler5811 God, when Mary Jo's character appeared in Season 6 you can *almost* feel sorry for Dr Forrester
😂😂
'Yo. Let's collect wildflowers.'
"Four days ago a fire fell from the sky...."
Shut up! Shut up! SHUT UP!
wat
@@Crrrow It's a reference to RLM's review of this movie. Someone commented, "shut up" during their review because the writing in this movie is just so bad.
@@AlphaCentCom Four hours ago a comment fell from the sky...
my step dad showed me and my sister MSTK3 when we were little.. we still watch it together, the three of us and future war is on our list for favorite episodes
Nice call back to "Overdrawn at The Memory Bank" at 1:10:05
"It's Liberation Theology vs. Opus Dei! Priceless.
She teaches him how to communicate two words, "Yes" and "No." Her very next question is "Where are you from?" Huh???? 33:51
I've had several women ask "What planet are you from?"
Future waxxxxxx!
"No wonder fossils are so rare!" Hahaha
“Thank you for not killing me”
“They should make a Hallmark card for that” 😂
"She's wearing a maternity habit!" Probably my favorite joke so far XD